#659 - Ari Matti

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I hope everybody's having a great day, enjoy the episode. Today's guest is a standup comedian. Some people call him the Estonian assassin, because he's from a country called Estonian California. You may have seen him on Killtony, he's touring all over the country right now.

I'm grateful to spend time with Mr. Ari, Matty. You guys don't do headphones, dude. No, I don't care about it, do you? No, I don't know. Joe does, you did, Rogans.

If it's like, if the other guy has it, then I got a button. The headphones? Yeah. Yeah, if one guy's wearing it. And yeah, it's like being in a threesome and you're the guy that doesn't put on another

guy puts a condom on it. Hi, this is true. You know, Sam, like if at that point, you're like, okay, you know, it's kind of like I feel like that sort of energy did. Yeah.

Ari Matty, good to see you, bro. Good to see you, bro. Thank you, bro. Fuck yeah, let's get it. Good to see you, my friend.

Good to see you, man. Yeah. How was your weekend in Nashville? You were just performing here this week. What was it like?

Did you get out to Broadway? What was some of your take of the place? I've been to Broadway the past times I've been to Nashville.

It's basically we have it's very similar to Austin, you know.

But yeah, I did just saying it's this time. It was awesome.

“I didn't really go to Broadway state, but you've seen it before, right?”

I mean, it's a spectacle for sure. Yes. It's for sure a spectacle to watch people. Last time I was on Broadway, I stepped into a puddle that, you know, when you don't know, the depth of a puddle, it's like, it's like almost up to my knee.

I like fell into a, I fell into the sea and then I had to continue my night with a wet foot. And when you're 34 years old and you get a little like air conditioning with a wet foot, I know I'm going to get sick. Oh, yeah.

And then I was sick for two weeks. Oh, yeah. And that's some real. I mean, you'll see a puddle out there and you'll see a damp. Somebody fish in any, you know, people are 19.

I could jump into a fucking fountain and then get out and just party on no issue. Now if my toe is wet, it's going to be a big. I could, I could die. I could get pneumonia and fucking died. It is pro.

Ship when you, it's crazy. Yeah.

“I literally like, I had one of my first, one of these that I slipped and I fell and I”

thought, it's over like the pain that went through my lower back, my, I literally thought it's broken. Like, call me out. I was, when I was 17, I was like, 15, I had a, I had a skateboard and I held on to the back of a bus, you know, like, for a ride, like you back to the future type of thing.

Yeah, like in Tony Hawk, Pro Skater. Yes. And then in typical bus driver form, he, he sped up, trying to lose me and kill me. And then went like, like, face first into a payment wall, who, and nothing happened. You just stand up.

Now a badly time sidewalk could kill me. Pro, I'm such a bitch. It's crazy. I literally got out of bed too fast, like a year ago. And my hip popped, dude, I can still feel it when it's cold.

I still feel it. Yeah, brother, I feel you. And some of that stuff is just, and you don't know how to explain it to people. And you don't, you don't want to explain it because it just weakens you. It's like weakens.

If, if the part of you that breaks all the time hears you speak about it, you cannot, it's

not because then I never address it.

No. Yeah, I've just been with a blown up hip and in a cold morning, that hurts like a brother. It's, the littlest thing, you don't even realize, it's like, when I was younger, I would just jump in the air.

If you want me to jump on something, give me 50 minute, I need rubber bands, I need exercises, I need to warm up. Yeah. It's crazy, dude. Yeah.

Yeah, I need to interview a flatter, or I need to have, and then you know, when you watch,

“like, you know, when you watch like video, have you seen these cranium videos now?”

No. When they like, it's like a guy, he like coach into your mouth and he like releases childhood drama and then people cry on a table and I'm like, am I, do I need to get my cranium release? What is it called?

Can you bring us up? I have a cranium release cranium face like on my feet right now. This is cranium facial, face facial release and cranium, cranium, I saw, I saw one video. It was a black guy. They released this cranium.

He became white. It's crazy. Everything in your life can be released with the cranium. It's a lot of trauma data in the culture. There's a lot of trauma in the culture.

That's crazy. They release you when you're fucking a woman, like tits just pop out of you or something. Yeah. You get a bigger car, you grow, you grow taller. Yeah.

It's funny when you find out stuff that it's like, I haven't seen this bring this up. I just want a huge. And who's doing it? It's probably a myth.

“Is it a Middle Eastern or trying to do it to somebody?”

See, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they put like a balloon up your nose and it comes out of your mouth. It's all crazy. And it's part of the Harlem Globe Triars.

What is it? Oh, yeah.

This is some, first of all, go back 10 seconds.

Just seeing a Middle Eastern guy with a skull. Yeah. It's just, it's too much. I know, I know, I know, I know. What the ****?

And now this lady's straight. She was a lesbian before and now she's straight. Everything in your life can be fixed by cranium. Yeah. Oh, God.

Yeah. It's always like this. It's kind of like a tightly, it's like a Persian and like fitted figs or whatever. And they're just explaining to you like how it will save you. And what do they do?

They put it in. Is there another video? Yeah. I see this guy. He puts a fucking thumb in his mouth and he sucks on it.

Oh, well, then that's trauma, then he needs the cranial. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Oh, I've seen this. Is this the thing?

You know, for my cranial sacral and nervous system reset, you can reset it. This guy's just blowing.

“No, no, I think he's pushing like on the, okay, went to the, are you, you feel better?”

Oh, I feel like calling somebody a **** at my head, but not me though, not me. But yes. So I don't think this is good for me. It's like new trends where you find out that this is what's wrong with your life that you haven't had.

You're cranial. It's all **** up. Yeah. Okay, here we got a guy. They got a honky laid out here.

So three different openings in each side of the nose, is there any left lower this and be a little cold? It's gonna be a little weird, a little weird, a little weird, a little weird. He'll blow it up, it'll swell up your brain. This is crazy.

I don't know. It just has three diplomas in the word of mouth, you know. A word of snout, guys, ****, and if you can't see at home, they've just put a balloon into this guy's head and then they blew it up, blew it up with air. He just blew up, and now he's smiling.

And now he's straight, and there you go, dude. Well, they had that prey in the gay out of children, remember, that was a big thing. Not for us, but big in America. And America. And America.

Yeah.

And it's always the gayest guy telling you to praise.

And it's funny that he said you do a camp, filled with 40 dudes and deep in the woods with no contact to the outside world. It's like a great place to even tell you, even God shot his eyes for this one. Don't worry. The next two weeks, we are free in the river, brother.

Free it, brother. Free it, brother. Well, gays, you know, I grew up around it. Have you ever seen a rest area in America? Like a piece like a rest house, yeah, that's where you suck, suck, suck, suck, suck.

It was a big thing. And they shut it down for a while. They started putting like glyphosate and backyard there and stuff like that. They tried it. They try to shut it down.

But you don't stop gay people from fucking dead. Well, I'm like, they don't, they don't kill weeds, but it's not, you know, it's not stopping some of these sexual trends. But they had a lot of gays in our area. They would meet up behind there, for sure.

And they would dare to river back there and they'd get out, they'd do drugs and get out in the river and hug and everything. Gay people love the fucking abush. Like it's, it's like, I don't know, yeah, it's like, get a hotel, it's okay now. But it's like, when I went to, I used to live in Vancouver, when I moved there, literally,

first night, when I moved there, I went to for a walk in Stanley Park.

It's the local park next to the city. Oh, I've been there. It's beautiful. Oh, it goes along the water, you become aware of that, it's like so nice and quiet.

things and it's like so quiet and serene.

“And then I'm like, I'm like, I take my shirt off, it's like sunny, I got some sun on my”

thing. I get a lot of time going to do a little push-ups, a little shadow boxing, I'm allowing in the woods. Of course, it is natural, yeah, it was natural, you did a little push-ups, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like a deleted scene from the Bible, I feel like, but let's hear more, I want

to hear more about it. I don't need it anymore, but they should have wrote, if you and me may delete it scene from the Bible. Now that's funny, deleted scene from the Bible is a funny concept, it's, anyway, I had a rough ego.

I'm doing a little push-ups, I'm getting a lesson going, then I see a guy walking past, and it's, I'm guys trying to fuck, it's a look they have, it's just the way they move, it's like he's walking one way, but he's looking at me like this, it's got a sun

“glasses on, but he's peeking over the sunglasses, right?”

Right. So, and everything he's doing is doing something separate, like he's walking one way, but looking another way, he's just sunglasses on, but he's got him down and looking, or so he's, he's establishing contact.

First contact, yes sir, yes he is, he keeps walking, I keep boxing, now you're boxing

harder. Yeah, I'm trying to be like, look at this shit, like you don't want none of it. And then, five minutes go back, he comes out of another bush, like a crack, I'm like now he's closer, so now I take my music out, because I need all my senses, this is, this might be an ambush, there might be several of them, this is like a room of mirrors, which

is the real guy trying to fuck me dude, that's great. Yeah, yeah, so he need all my senses. That'd be a cool game, so I'm like trying to get sober, I like to throw some water on my face and he'll be sharp, I'm going back, I'm going back, I'm going back, I'm going back to, I'm back to, I have to fuck my way out of the sea, you fix your hip really quick, yeah, oh yeah,

that's a warming up, so then he comes in, hey man, and I try to give him a hey man, but not a, hey man, not a friendly one, I give him a, hey man, like a little, right, like what are we doing here? Yeah, but yeah, yeah, hey man, hey man, he goes, you want to be here, I go, nah, I don't want to be here, yeah, then I really, oh, oh, he's out here, and then he disappears, I train change location, different guy, like another one, backpack, he's

looking like he's been in the woods for days, looking for Dick, wow, and he walked, and there's new guy, he walked, like where is Dick though, yeah, like kind of like wears walled up, but a little different, like where's Dick though, and he walks by the same look, this is the full eye contact, and now I see there's a cock hanging from, he's got it out, he's got it out, oh, maybe he heard, yeah, maybe like down at the base, like that was

the messenger, we got one, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's kind of on me, I mean, I'm a little like a gay superhero, I know, it's kind of on me, by the way, yeah, you're like a piece of bait in the woods, you've set your shadow boxing, which shadow boxing is,

“but here's what it gives, I think, it gives this idea, oh, I wish somebody else were”

here with me, oh, the shadow, I need someone to be the shadow, right, so then the guy just pains himself, blackness starts, looks like laying, connected to your face, then I see his cock, now I'm kind of a, I'm both a, by the way, you know what I was offended, both those guys looked like absolute ass, like 50 years old, I'm on a beautiful angel, I'm like 26 years old at my prime, he's doing shadow boxing, yeah, even if I fuck you, the

others would never believe you, like, I would be like a myth that they talk about in the

gayserk of for years, there's this blue eye, yeah, yeah, you stay in Stanley Park long enough an angel appears, so, I'm like, and it's funny, it's my first time being like, kind of like sexually assaulted, I would say, and it's funny, it kind of put things into perspective for me as well, how like, it's not, tell it, it's, it's, it's not that, I can't beat the fuck out of you, I'm not in the, I don't feel it threatened, like a woman with a bigger

man would in that situation, but the fact you're like showing me your cock makes me feel like a bitch, you know, it's like, let me think about it for a second, like if I've ever seen somebody's cock, like how did I feel about it, and he was like shaking, giving a little shake, and looking straight into my ass, give me a little shake, oh, I didn't know all that, that's a lot, that's like, so much, I'm on boy, wow, you know, that's like,

like a dog treat or something, so that I could understand, you feel like, oh, like you're being summoned or something, maybe, like, uh, and the cock, the cock he had, it looked like it's been through, like, I don't know, his last partner was a train or like, heavy, his last

know what to say, I act like it's none of my bids, what do you mean, how do you act like someone's

“cock is in any of your bids, I know how you do, because that's what we do all the time, in the woods,”

I don't even, I'm never, so I keep walking like fast, and I look over now, I'm getting like, nervous,

they're circling me, who are they, I don't know, are you sure? I'm alone, there's no reception, it's Stanley Park, the woods are high, the sun doesn't even, the trees are so high, the sun is in the reach, we're down in the, if I even if I yell, ha, it's over, and now it's just palentier doing this, like, who do you think's doing this? This is an organization, and I'm a high, I try to find out my way out, and I, oh my god, I stumble on this, three stumps, you know,

like a tree stump, oh yeah, for sure, I see them, 80 to a 160 amount of condoms, like on the floor, just less mass of used up condoms, like the wailing wall or whatever, exactly, maybe this is the stump, you know, Jews kiss the rock or what? Yeah, but they're like, ages, there's stumps,

where they, where they hump the stump kind of or something, and I'm trying to find a trail the way out,

just before I get to the trail, after the stump, my heart is racing, I'm now like, what the fuck is happening? How did I find this deep into wood? And then I see in the bush, the two guys, the one guy with the glasses, the beer guy, and then the other guy with the cock, the weiner guy,

“I see them in the distance. Mm-hmm, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, do you know what blow jobin?”

I wish this was our job, this wasn't the job, this was holding here, oh god, oh god, like dick slavery or whatever, dick, this was slavery, blah, blah, blah, blah, god brother, and uh, the guy banging the other guy's mouth, he like makes eye contact, the chef, they call that Yes, the chef, okay, I need to go kill him on me, oh, mow, mow, okay, it's just okay, keep going, sorry, some of the sounds are making some, I don't want the neighbors knocking, because you know, it's like,

now but go on, and he makes eye contact with me, why do they keep doing that? No, it's crazy, he's like you want some, ah, so I turn around, I find a road, and then I see like another guy on the trail, and I'm already giving him a weird like stay away from him, then he's I realize, and then I saw his family, it's just a German guy looking for, and I wanted to tell him like, I'm truly going 9, and don't go there, yeah, yeah, and then I get out of the woods, and then I, then of course,

immediately I go and read it, then Facebook group, that's the suck and fuck stump. I was literally like, have you seen the gray with Liam Neeson? Have you seen the gray? The gray? Well, remember where he wife fights the wolves? I haven't seen it. I've seen the advertisement for it, but I didn't fall for it, yeah, but I was like, it's like a movie where he fights wolves because they keep attacking him, and then at the end of the movie you find out the whole time he's been trying to escape the wolf. See, this is me, look

with the gay guy, look, look, look, look, this is me with the gay man. God, yeah, he's trying to escape the wolves, but then at the end of the movie, he goes to the nest of the wolves, which they're most

“protective. That's how I felt, like I, like you were in this warm, it's almost like you had”

somehow found your way through the honeycomb to the Queen Bay. Yeah, and then for a year, if I did stand up,

I always talked about that experience. And whenever I said, first time I came to Vancouver,

I went to Stanley Park, and everyone already laughs because they know it's a fucking fuck. Oh, it's called Stanley Park. Well, it's crazy because they have one in Pittsburgh called Shennley Park, and they fuck there too. And there was, there used to be rumors of like different quarterbacks for the, uh, Steelers going up there and doing, uh, mail-on mail-sexual. And then they had, um, but bring up, yeah, can we get a Reddit or like a Google review? Let's go to Google review of

Stanley Park and just get or go down that for privately and see if you get any, if people are reporting, um, you know, kind of gay activities over there. Well, it used to be like, like, like, and I'm sorry you went through that. And when I was a kid, across that river, so the rest area was across from that they had a lot of men, like kind of straight men or people that worked in, like, like, semi straight people that worked, like, mechanics, you know, mechanics

assist in our construction or something. They would, uh, they have one of those, like, there's slingshot things of big ones, and they would shoot potatoes across, because I grew up on the other side of the river across from the rest area. Okay. So we get out there when we're kids with binoculars and watch like the guys do dope and then hug in the water. And hug in the water. Yeah, I mean, it was really was like a deleted team from the Bible. This is another one we have now.

So it was like, uh, but some of the adult men would fire a potato. They got too close. It fire a tot over at them to get them to separate, you know. So it's like this crazy shit that went

like, how sexuality is really close right there for sure. Yeah. And it's also like,

there's for sure the thrill of like, like, I have a gay friend of mine. He's like, older and he says they, he says, oh, yeah, there's all kinds of underground sucking fuck clubs and they fucking the bush. Oh, my. It's because, you know, men want to be a little perverted, but we have to, when we bang women, we have to, we have to, they're angels, you know, so we have to like, that's a good point. But if there's two guys, we want to make it. Oh, yeah, it's like, I want to throw

“you halfway through a window. I want to fuck your mouth in a bush. You know, that's what I want to do.”

I'm guess what he wants to do that to. Oh, my god. Yeah. Oh, here's a note. Somebody right here is that I'm masturbate in Stanley Park. And I'm sorry. Anyone who stumbled into me doing that, but I don't do it in front of people. I am not a sex offender. So this is somebody just clear in the air. Do you see how rough that nose looked? Yeah. It says historically standing bark has served as a gay cruising location with secluded trails near the loss lagoon and forest areas. You could have

been in the loss lagoon, my brother. I know. I was very lost. But I could see this also. You were in the park for a couple days and it could change your sexuality. I could do you feel like something like that could happen. Like, nature's just such a ground where something different can happen.

The woods is always like a mysterious place. Like, even when you were a kid and you would go there,

just like, you don't say, and that's where like anything. There were monsters. There weren't more than the book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was smoke. I smoke my first cigarette in the bush. It all happened for there. A piece of alcohol in the bush. It's always like there's a tree house for kisses. There's people living in some guy just living there. And you're like, just guy living in the woods. Yeah,

“there's just a lot that happens there. And I think they're always has been. It's a very mysterious place.”

And I think gay people used to not be able to just be gay now. Exactly. So that's the, that's like, I guess it's like a, it's like a throwback to them of like, yeah, when times were not simpler, but different, more exhilarating, I guess. Oh, for sure, dude. I think being gay now would seem very, I mean, it's boring now. I agree. My neighbor says he's gay. I'm like, yeah, I'm straight. I'm tall. Yeah, who gives a fuck. Yeah, you're, you're, yeah, yeah, we're, yeah, we're in 11. You know,

I was like, I'm from like, oh my God, like, that friend that I was talking about, who I ask all these gay questions. I have like one gay confinant. Okay. I ask him all kinds of gay friends in U.S. No, he's a stonion. And he doesn't get offended. I can ask him whatever I want. Okay. And you're from Estonia. I want to, I want to ask you about that. I want to get into that, but I was before you go on. So he's like in his 50s. You know, okay. So he's an adult. He's a fully active. So he grew up,

like, if you were gay in San Francisco, how hard is it to come out of the closet in San, the parents are, you probably get a benefit. You know, you probably get a, yeah, you get a kickback, a support group. You have all these friends, your parents are happy. Yeah, you get like a special meta log in or something. Yeah, you start stand up. You get a Netflix deal within a year. You get a podcast. That's true. I know. You get a podcast given to you. And suddenly you're on the charts no matter

what? Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, who was the famous transition? The, the, the athlete who went, uh, now she, it's a sheet. Pre-fantaine or whatever? No, no, no, no, it's the famous family. Yeah, well, Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner. Yes, Caitlyn Jenner. So for her, multi-millionaire coming out at the closet immediately on Forbes or times my image of women of the year. It's like a, for her, transitioning, I mean, transition for a millionaire in Hollywood. How hard can it be? Right. Now,

imagine being gay during like the Soviet Union, who you have to suck cock in the shadows,

“like a secret, you should, yeah, there's now that six. Yeah, double those slurping there.”

That's got to be crazy. Like gay in San Francisco is one thing. That's now homosexual in the 80 Soviet Union in 1980s. And now that's he's so thick risking his life. Now he loves cock. Yeah, I mean, but he loves either loves cock or he likes mysteries that ending cock. You know what I'm saying, I just do imagine that, bro. Like imagine first of all, you find out your gay, because I don't even know how people find out. Like I don't know if you get like a thing in the

mail or whatever, because it's like some people I think would never even know like if you're like,

maybe if you're uneducated, you think you just like watching your buddies, you know, trying to peek it. I mean, I don't even know what some people think, but yes, dude, a long time ago, and you're like, oh my god, and you cannot let anybody know nobody. And then imagine what you've been you've been like in the closet closet closet. This is in the closet. This is a bank vault. Yeah, you're being very deep in the closet. Because you're in the hamper. And he told me,

he told me I was like, so when did you and he's like, man, I always knew it. But I hid it so deep in

he was younger, he was kind of violent against women. Because you know, you hate yourself. And when you hate yourself, you hate the world around you. No, he probably didn't even know it either. Now,

he said he knew, but he never explored it. And then he said he was like, what? Maybe like 25 or something.

Yeah, I think it was something like that. He goes to a party in Finland. Finland is a fairy ride ride across from Estonia. And it's not the Soviet Union. So it's a bit more, you know, and also nobody knows you there. Oh, it's a bit more kind of like a renewable risk. Oh, yeah, risky. And he was in a nightclub. And he took a fairy there. So even a fairy ride that will stimulate the ocean. Yeah, the ocean within and you're your abroad. Nobody knows me here. And he said he was in

like a bar. And he said a guy looked at him in a way that no one has ever looked at him. And he knows that look. And they just suck and fuck for like three days in a row. Oh, no, yeah, I thought this

story is going to be a lot of others. Like it'd be a bigger moment with in that part. They just

“went to the hotel and said, and that's what's his first like experience. No, you know, and he talks”

to this guy in this guy. Yeah, it's fine. Like this is like you're a person. It's fine. You know, you're finished. Yeah, you're finished. Yeah, finish on me. Yeah. Yeah. And then he went back to Storney had to hide it for a little while. So it's like those gig when I look at like a 50 plus year old gay man to be gay in the 80s, you had to fight for your right to suck. Take that's a gay man. Here. Yeah, that's a hero. That's yeah, you know, that's the Navy. Yeah, that's literally you're

at, yeah, yeah, you grown up in the Marine. Yeah. And sorry, the Marines might take offense. I think the Navy will be okay if we say that. And no offense if anybody is being gay or not or in the Marines or whatever. But yeah, dude, I talk about that actually. I just tape us a special the other day and I have a bit about that. I mean, everybody has a bit about a lot of these things. But yeah, dude. And with Caitlyn too, you know, it's like she's like an icon in America. We had a trans base player in

a band. It was all chicks in a band famous of Storney and band. And one guy, the base player was a guy.

But he always wore like skirts and shit, okay? And then eventually he transitioned like women's

paraphernal, you're whatever skirt in these years and then he transitioned like early 2000s. And in Estonia, that time, we were all like we don't even know what to, to go do an Estonian doctor. Yeah, who usually does gives you a little like piracita moment when you have a headache. Yeah, like these are, yeah, people can't even do this in Estonia. Exactly. So to get a sex change and to tell a doctor. Yeah, shove half of it off the other half you just

like cut half of it out shove the other half in build me a pussy. Build me a Soviet pussy. And they were like, I remember he was even in the news. She was even in the, I mean, at that time,

“I mean, a Soviet pussy dude. Bro, that's the name of the musical. We're here, right?”

That's the name of the musical. And there was like a news article that she was in the grocery store in Estonia. And so this is, it originally is a man in any transition. Yeah, okay. Then she was in the store. And then she was in the, there was a news article. She was in the grocery store and some guys are drunk and they're yelling "F***, I can shit you know." And you know what she did? Look, the hills all on one fucking factor of settings. And just don't know. That's, now that's someone who stands up for gay rights. Yeah, you know.

You're a millionaire. You go to a private clinic, you know. That's easy. That's an easy training. You're a hero. Yeah. And the rich people, they'll even get like a, um, a pretty pussy. Yeah, or weak and cock. You know, just give me someone can put on for the weekend. Yeah. You know, don't get something with earings on it. It's like this is unreal. I'm talking about the frickin' day-to-day blue collar glass. Yeah, the glass skull Scotland pussy. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, so if we try to, that even like, if you look at it, if you look at it two times,

“at least one of the times, it still kind of looks like a cock. For sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.”

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“I've always, it's not like a fictional place. Like, I remember when I was a kid, I heard the word”

Calamazoo, right? And it sounds like a place. Dr. Sue's what it made up or something. Is it a place? It's a place in Michigan, but I didn't know that. Calamazoo. Calamazoo, right? It sounds like, yeah, that sounds like a candy. Yes. It sounds like a candy that pops in your mouth. Yes, the Calamazoo. And I, but then I was in an airport one time. I was probably 16 years old. I'm

in an airport and I saw Calamazoo and I was like, no way, it's a real place. Never had an idea.

So Estonia seems like a place that almost seems like something out of, um, I guess it came of thrones or something. Yes. We get that out of it. But it gets confusing because I can't, if somebody said describe Estonia, I'd have no idea what it is. How to spend a week in Thailand, is that the capital? Yeah. Wow. It's like Calamazoo is like my subway. You know, you know, the sandwich shop subway? Yes. We had a one subway in Estonia. When I was like 16,

I went there every day and I thought, so cool of a family restaurant. Name it subway because the sandwich looks like a subway. I did my birthday there. And then I went for a trip to Sweden and I saw another subway broke my fucking heart. I thought this was like a family restaurant. Yeah. Oh, dude, that's beautiful. I mean, just picture in somebody doing their birthday there. I'm in a subway. Yeah. It's beautiful, dude. Yeah. And I'll say this too. I dated a girl that worked at a subway and

I remember, um, I'd go in there and she'd hug me with she'd have those hand covers on and she would hug me when when she had them on. Like, did she smell laughter? Her shifts, she smelled less of way, but, oh, beautiful. The Asiago, when they came out that Asiago bread, people didn't know what to do. I used to bang a girl from McDonald's. She said that's different. She quit McDonald's. Like, she had been quit. She had to be working there for six months. What the sex was so good. She quit

McDonald's. I'll tell them me. That's insane, bro. Are you kidding? What? And I will go to her place. Are you six months later, her apartment still smells like the fries. You know, yeah. There's some, bro, that was such a mystery, dude. Like, it is, like, it's certain ages when you're still going over two strangers, homes, for sex. Yeah. That's a crazy experience. Especially if they live with a lot of other people, or you don't know who they live with, or there's an animal there.

“You have to, like, first, defend yourself against the animal. You have to, like, playkate the animal.”

You have to get down close to it, lie in it's ears. Tell it lies. And so, you don't

say, and it's like, you have to get past the wizard. You know, always know if it's a horror,

if the dog is too friendly. It's like giving you water, like you're doing a fuck, guys. Just you wait here, they'll let you know when she's ready. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. You know, it's a fucking dog. It's like taking number out of one of those little machines. Yeah. Yeah. If the dog attacks you, that's that's that's it. That's a good sign, bro. That's it. You're right, dude. That's great. Dude, one time I went into, uh, if he brings you, if he brings you the condom,

you know, in his mouth, he's like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Anything to take it off for you? Yeah. And bro, dude, one time I went on this thing called semester at C. So it's like a floating

“school that's on a campus. It's a floating college. Floating college. Yeah. Bring it up. What?”

semester at C. My friend got me on this. It's, it was for like fancy people, right? Oh, my god. This is such a, if my daughter ever said, I'm going to a semester at C. Oh, my god. I mean, this is a suck and fuck boat. I mean, I think there was sweet baby Angelie stuck at C. No,

there's a lot of education. Right. I said my daughter to France. This is worse than take. Well, in France, they'll fuck about softly. You know, they're like, very, they can't even really get the job done. Yeah. But, uh, but no, we went on this and, um, and I got a job. I worked in the bookstore and my college like, oh, my college stuff applied to it. So in the end, it wasn't very expensive. And like, I got like, you know, different, like little loans, you can get like, um,

they had these like, fancy mail loans or something. Anyway, so I was able to go on this thing. But we went to, what was something we were just talking about, you remember it? Uh, we were talking about, oh, going to a stranger's place to suck and fuck, uh, you're on a boat, you're working. You

met a girl, maybe. Yeah, I was on a, uh, met a guy. No, I never met a man. I'm never meeting a man.

Yeah, I'm so straight. I'm never meeting a man. Well, I would meet a man for like dinner or something if it's a friend or like, but I'm not going to. When something goes down, you gotta go.

“Well, I'm just like, I think being gay probably 1000 years ago, or even 100 years ago,”

probably seem way more exciting. Like, even if you were a brave ass dude that loved like Carmen San Diego or Encyclopedia Brown or any of those type of, um, you know, those books like those mystery books, you might be like, oh, I'll be gay just because it's fucking. You want to play hide and go see against the best. You ever did something like gay shit when you were young, but you didn't know it's gay. It's just like boys exploring themselves or something to do anything like that.

I wouldn't say I did anything like that. I did something where me and my cousin

we would go to an abandoned, you know, like a construction site when it's abandoned. It has that, what's the place where they like the container, where the construction guys, they do coffee, they take a nap. Oh, yeah, container. Yes, it's like a little like a, it's like a little trailer. Well, trailer, yeah, yeah, like, and it was like an abandoned trailer. I mean, my cousin would go there and we would like give it to other massages and the price was like candy, a piece of candy,

like one minute was a one piece of candy, and we'll give it to others. And it was like, and then one time I remember we put our dicks into like a bottle, we like shared a bottle. How big of a bottle are we saying? Now, I wish I could say nesty with the big one. It was a little of those. Oh, wow. Yeah. So we were like exploring it. How did you put them both into the top of them? No, not the same thing. It's like we separate bottles. No, same bottle, but we shared it.

Oh, one person than the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I have very interesting. And then one time we were giving each other these back massages. I had my shirt off. I was on the floor. And my friend was giving this back massages. And then we're going to fuck the bottle. You know, it's like a regular Tuesday. And like, oh, yeah, this first of all, this is also the Estonia Olympics.

“Like I said, and then a security guy or a construction worker somebody walked in, you know what?”

He didn't just ran out. Because I get it from his perspective. He can't go to his boss and be like, I said these two boys. It was me and two boys in a try and look at fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he just ran off. Well, now that you shared it, and I'll say something. So yeah, there was like a thing where like, I mean,

I remember a couple things, I guess. Because I never had a father. So I guess like,

right, nobody ever taught me about sex or anything. So I could step that try to talk to me about sex. He was literally showing me videos on like a laptop. He was like a neurotic movie where you don't see penetration, but you see it from the shadow. I was 17 years old. I was like, you think that's cool. Let me, I showed him. Yeah. I've seen Mr. Horse. My step that was like, yeah, this is out there. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. So yeah, my sex talk was so late. So it was just

me and the fucking trailer at nine years old trying to figure out, oh, yeah, emotions. Oh, dude,

“armor one time. Yeah, like my buddy and I who's ever at my birthday party or whatever. And he was like,”

you had your birthday party and then like two friends got to stay overnight, right? So there was the everybody came to the party and yet it pretend like everybody was leaving, but then two friends got to stay overnight for your birthday. And one friend was like, a little bit older and he was kind of thick, this little kind of thick kid. And he was like, all right, let's all take our shirts off and then let's like, and then he taught, he said, like, you could read each other's ribs, like, you know,

your ribs, like they had like, it was almost like hyeroglyphics like you rub your hand along the other person's ribs. You could get like a message out of it. Is it make almost like, you know, those bumps that they do for people that are fucked up? Yeah, uh, Braille Braille Braille. So we said your body holds Braille in it. And if you put your hands like a long somebody's ribs, you can, you'll get a message, right? And so we're real hard Braille for you right now. You can read this when you're

blind death and you did. I got a good braille for you down here, dude. No, no, no, so we had this pro. So he had us like, there was like three of us under this like blanket or something. And we're

others, you know. And then like whoever seemed like that kind of gay is give it like get a message or

something. All right, it was just like, but this one kid was kind of facilitating it and he'd probably seen something erotic or he'd had like exactly different thoughts or something. Because you're because you're synapses for firing of pleasure and reproductive and testosterone. But you've, it's a lot of information, but you can't translate it. Right, like, I remember when I was like seven years or something old. It was a Christmas part. Oh, do you tell? It was a Christmas part. Fair, fair play lad.

And my, and was this snowing out? Lots of snow. Oh, so we need to be here, talk them.

“Yes, uh, and I remember that was the visa. Yes, we do. And that was the cousin. She was like in her”

30s maybe ginormous titties. I didn't know that titties are the secret to life. But I know that something is there. You know, it's like there's sexuality is already it's you just don't know what to do with the information. Something about these titties are making me feel in a way. And I don't know, you know, it's not, it's like innocent. It's not like I have an iPad to Google right. It's just this mystery feeling. And I would sit in her lap and I would put my head like my back on my neck

between my cousin's titties and I would like squeeze him and I would feel oh, you're just

feel the pressure of two tits against the back of your head. It feels amazing. It's good. And

all my cousins are laughing because they know they know. So it's funny to them. Right. They see this kid just I know there's a little part of this little horn dog. Right. It's just a horn dog. You're this. It's almost like an electrical wire on the street. It's just rattling. And I noticed the more I bring her this she was doing in this red liquid. It was wine. And the more I would bring the wine, the more titty access I could get. Oh, do tell. Because she got a little crazier and crazier.

And she's not laughing more. And I kept going to the kitchen, a little bill card, a little bill cost me junior. I was putting the juice and I kept bringing her more wine, my dear. And you know, what's crazy? She gets so fucked up. She like takes a nap on the couch. Okay. Do you want to stop this story here? You know, it gets good. And I really want to squeeze the titties. But in my seven year old brain, something said no. Right. Something said no. Right. The titties are close. And I felt bad about it.

“Like that I even thought of it, running in my room and I felt bad. Mm. That's how I know I can never”

rap. Mm. Even as a seven year old boy, there's something in your body that goes, just now that she's sleeping. This is weird. Right. Right. If two people are playing the game. Exactly. Then we can have the game. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, dude. Yeah. Let me think. Oh, I take so many, you know, and after that, it takes so many years for even to find out about six pussy and all that. Yeah. But it's funny when you're a little pervert boy, and you just hold these emotions and all these. Oh, do you know what to do with them?

Oh, yeah. Well, we had this one, fellow boss named Roy, I think his name was, or he said it was, and he'd been like, he used a hair dryer, whatever. So he was kind of, he was leaning towards being gay. Uh-huh. And because children didn't use hair dryers, we just didn't know even know about it.

And he knew about it. He would always have his with them. If you were even just hanging out with them

in a room, you'd fucking plug them up. I would say he's like a kid who loves a sunny day. Yeah. But one time he did get, I remember he got, uh, he's like, dude, if you take a piece like a piece of tape right, and you put one piece on the end to top of your wiener, like tape it to the top of your wiener, and you put the other piece of the tape on the top of his wiener. And I remember him, like, getting this to do stuff like that and stuff or like play navier, whatever. Like just

different shit that was just in hindsight, in hindsight. Because then you're just standing there and now there's like this little break. You don't realize it's a bridge. You don't realize that, though. It's a bridge, right? Because you think, oh, it's just some tape on my wieners and tape on there wieners. It's like a wiju board. We're opening up the spirits. Yeah, it's a board though.

“Yeah, that's a board. So I think there's stuff like that when kids are young and they don't know,”

one time I found my buddy's kids. I just walked, I was like, I'd live with this family. They're pretty much like family to me. I'd walked in and two of the young kids are in the bed naked together. Yeah. But I think it's just kids. I didn't know what to do. My friend Scott would come over and we would like go on a date with our pillows, like in the room or whatever. And just like shit like that. My mom and I like had boy friends. I do think that being open to your children about sexuality,

I don't, I think at these times, especially with the internet, all this keeping it innocent is actually worse and keep, you know, sometimes kids get really traumatized if the parents make it really

you know, your dad walks in and starts yelling and being in the shit out of everybody. That's actually

“really bad. It's like, it's hard to rate. Like, okay, like, I have a friend. He's got a beautiful daughter.”

And I had to babysit for this little girl. She was like, maybe six or seven. First time in my life, I've ever been together with a small girl. And I got so nervous immediately, you know, because it's like, it's not even my daughter. It's my friend's daughter. They go to, they went to the city to do something. And I've already hung out with her. So, right. But when

you're the, I did, first time I watched my niece, I was like, what the heck? I never thought about

that it actually, I can't leave you alone because I'll be downstairs watching TV and you're up there fucking jumping off a balcony and I gotta explain to my friend, you know. So, so I'm nervous, you know, so she, and then the mother starts telling me all these things she can't do. No peanuts, it's literally, she's gonna explode into a, and then I gotta think about, wait, what has peanuts in

“them? Does sneakers, oh, sneakers, oh, I got sneakers, but I gotta now I'm starting to,”

right now you're hiding stuff or covering things up, typing down a snickers. Yeah, yeah, then I'm like, oh, where's a loose knife? I start baby proofing the place, basically, you know,

so you happen to bring four loose knives, which is exactly, yeah, yeah, I guess I gotta hide the knives,

I guess we're not doing throwing knives. So then she goes, no peanuts, blah, blah, blah, oh, and then she goes, no watching, what's that series that girls like, the, the, the, the, the grassy, the grassy, the grassy high, the, yeah, that show is now on and it's not, it's on and it's done, yeah. Well, that time it was, oh, wow, and growing the grassy dude. Is this your original series? Wow, bro, I forgot about this. And people, and a little girl love this shit, but it's got a lot of like

sexual stuff in it. It's a certain age where you're ready for this show. Got it. She was not ready, so the mom tells me, no, the grassy, you know, you can watch frozen, you know, and then she goes, no, no candy, because her sugar, because it's like late at night, and when we're picking her up, we need to put her to bed, if you give her sugar now, it's all, you're fucking just, right. All these rules, power, and then they go, oh, and watch out that she likes to climb stuff.

They noticed that in my, in my apartment, I had a, had the, the staircase that goes up like this, you know, what, it's not circular. Like a winding staircase, and it's got the railing, like in Castlevania, Transylvania. Yeah, yeah, exactly, I'm a vampire. And, and they go, oh, I don't let her ride the railing, it's like, you know, don't, don't let her climb it, you know, they already see the danger, you know, so they're giving me this power, don't do no jelly beans,

no fucking the grassy, no peanuts, no, and fuck, Jesus, it's way more than expected. And they leave, takes the fun out of it too. I know, part of the fun of watching someone's kid is seeing what happens if you don't know what it's going on. And then this, I mean, the danger, we're like hanging out on the couch, I mean, we're watching frozen, she's already seen it, I've seen it, and then like, I ran around like, I want to be the cool uncle, jelly bean city,

I get the jelly, I fuck it, right, or you smoke on the ports that are watching to the glass, I kind of shit. Yeah, I get jelly beans up in this bitch, but the grassy on, she's jumping up and now we're watching the grassy's running around. Oh, let's go. And I'm like, and I tell her, I make her pinkies where I don't tell nothing, you don't say nothing. And she's like, okay, and we run around, jelly bean city, the grassy's on full blast, we're listening to fucking, what's that glow,

real, real young boy. Yeah, it was in the crazy shit. We're having a nightmare when you got it out. Yeah. And then she goes, that's right on the railing. And I'm like, fuck your parents. We're taking

our ride. So I go first. I come down fast. She's like, oh my God, it's my turn. My go,

okay, she gets up there. And I'm at the bottom. And because it's, I'm trying to see where she can fall off. Yeah, you know, risk management, risk management. We got jelly beans. We got the grassy. We're riding rail. Yeah. And she comes down slow, but first, she looks back at me. And the face she has,

“she makes like a, I realize I can see it. I don't think so. I think so. You think so. So it”

cuts just a little horn dog. And she wants to go again. She keeps getting slower and slower. And you're putting her back up there. You got, Ellie, what are you doing? I'm she wants to go again. Oh, you're the fucking manager of the play. Yeah, but it's hard to be like, no. You know, yeah, you're right. So she goes, maybe two, three more rides, right? I mean, like you're saying, I'm, I'm not sure if this is what it's about, but I do know children are a little horn dogs,

when does hormones start to affect the way that children act and behave? Oh, dude, I remember

when I was a kid now. And yes, sorry if I made you feel, I shouldn't have been making you people. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I won't try to make you feel weird. I think I just got scared. I don't know what. You know, there's more to the story. Oh, there is. So should we have more? We ride. She rides. She rides. We fun. We fun. We fun. We fun. Jelly Bean Jelly Bean City. The grassy, the grassy, the grassy. So then the pants get back. This bitch blows it in meters.

She goes, we had jelly beans. I wrote the life. We watched the grassy. It was so much fun. And they're, you know, my friend. And then my, uh, uh, oh, my friend stays over. We have a little beer. We haven't seen each other in a long time. And the mom takes the kid home. And this is awkward moment between my friend. He goes, because they have a, they have that staircase, too. And he likes it. He goes, that staircase didn't see. I got, yeah, he goes. Yeah, that's a mom

“conversation. But see, then we talked about it. You also has a parent. You have to be cool about this.”

Yeah, you know, like you can't, you don't have a little girl like that. You can't be like,

never, never touch the flower. That's right. And it's going to be then she's going to be

banging prisoners when she's 20 years old, because she's like, oh, daddy said, no flower touching well, I'm open of a florist down there by the correctional center. It's a florist center. It's a fucking forest down here now. God. So with kids, you know, it's always there's a tender point. But that's probably a mom to daughter conversation of course. But it is interesting how you learn about sex, right? And what happens to you? This says, "Purbety" actually starts between age eight

and 13 in girls and nine and 14 in boys. If it starts before age eight in girls before age nine and boys, doctors often consider it early and worth checking out. But is it herbety that starting or is it because it is, I remember probably, maybe I was about seven or eight and

“and I remember like just pressing things against my cry. Like, even if I was just was like,”

pressing is against my crotch felt good. So I'd thought, like, even if you were just walking by something and like, you ever see a tree that has like one of those kind of, but like a little butt sticking out. I've dated a few. Yeah, so you've been to that forest before it's where you're telling us. But what I was saying is this, yeah, I remember as a kid. Like, sometimes my dad and I would go walk to church and I would just walk like we'd walk by this one tree.

And I remember, I remember him telling me at some point at one age or something, I just would walk up and press my crotch against it. Like, all I did as a kid was lay on the floor flat and just shove my little willy into the floor, just to make it stimulate. Then I had a pink panther, remember the deck of pink panther. Oh, yeah. I had that as a toy, like a soft toy and I would just like, this pink panther so much that even under my left under my like four skin. I had pink hairs.

I would just share out this. Oh, wow. Yeah, we would solve some crimes and then, you know, what the award is, you solve another crime panther. Oh, and that exact toy. She's got a little pussy. It's got everything. It doesn't have a pussy, Ari. That's just his body. Yeah, but your imagination can add. Why, it doesn't. No, you cannot. And I would, I don't fuck it so much. I still have it in my podcast studio in Estonia, it's like a story that I told

in my old podcast in Estonia and between the crotch, all the hairs are like gone now because I just,

“because I just, and she was a little whore, it wasn't me. She was a little whore, wasn't she?”

I would come home from school, I put my talicon and just railing my peeper every case got sold. That night. What if you listen to that song? Allison chains. Down and up. Speak back. There's a mail. Well, you know, it's, thank you. Let's say that one. We don't who else say for the people in the back, the say it. You got to hear yourself say it. Gender is a spectrum. Yeah, but let's see what it says here. Perplexity help us out. Can you use perplexity? Let's get this real quick. See, see, see, see,

generally portrayed. Let's say if we can use it. Would you mind reading it for us? All right, it's what just on gendered. The cartoon pink Panther is generally portrayed as mail. Other than they put mail as bold, just to fuck with me and like, hey, bro. I did it. Yeah, it was bang. I'm banged this toy, blah, blah, blah. It was like, you know, over you banging them or do you think you were just rubbing, but right, but between the legs already knew enough. I already knew enough.

That's where I got to put it, you know, yeah, I had fun with this dirty slut. There's not a dirty slut. Not she wasn't a little slut. That was pink Panther. That's Heathcliff. For that's these are good. People just snoopy. These are good people. And then I even fucked this horror when I even got like a little girl, not like a girlfriend. You know, like, you get to get a little kiss. So I had like breakup sex. Like once every two weeks, I still fucked the show. My fucking pink Panther. And then we're back to my little

girlfriend next door. Yeah, you're running. Yeah, I'll run that. You're just a little slut, dude.

Here, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just didn't know that kind of stuff's going on in the third world or

like, Mattel or these different companies, bring up some different Mattel animals from like the 80s and 90s.

“If you can. This was the company that made a lot of these stuff to animals. And I think we take it.”

We take for granted here in the United States that these animals get treated well, right? They get, you know,

the people. I treat her real well. Like popples like you ever see popples? Never. Okay, but okay. Well,

inspect her. I had a potato. Okay. Yeah, some people. We had a long winter communism and a potato. But I'm saying it. But I think we take for granted America that stuffed animals here get, like, they'll tuck them in the bed and they'll like treat them well or get them a little glass of water. Bitch, well at all. Yeah. This bitch got ran through it. He was a male cat. No, no, no, no. Did he was a male cat with pink skin? He was obviously going through a lot. And then, um,

and then what? Like maybe like 10 years ago when I, when me and my girlfriend were chilling at my place. We did a little roleplay and she dressed up because she didn't know the story from my old podcast. So, oh, for your birthday or something, she did it? Yeah, she dressed as the pink pants and them all. Oh, that's pretty much the detective closet, detective closet, I can't remember his name.

And I was like, "Darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, darant, dar And I was like, "Darn, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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Life, God-Life's a journey.

It's a dang Oregon trail in it. One day, you got somebody's coffin. Somebody's got a humetom or whatever. Somebody lost all their money or something through it in a wish and well. Somebody's kids left or something.

Some days feel good, some days feel overwhelmed. Some days feel good. Some days you're standing in your yard and a balloon floats over to you. And that's good. Some days you're sitting in your car at night.

Hide from your family and somebody come over and give you a little cut of casserole for no reason. That's God. Look, I'm talking about Better Help, guys. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you've to figure it all out on your own. And let me tell you, that is not the truth.

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Take me into a Sonya a little bit though. Let's talk about this. We're talking about sex and being young.

“And so you're saying that, what is the conversation really?”

What is the real conversation you would have with the kid? How do you really do that with a kid? Because obviously you and I grew up in a way where we were figuring that ourselves. For me, I realized now, I don't like talking about a lot of sexual stuff with my friends.

Because to me, sex was always like a secret thing.

Yes. And it was secret. I had to sneak and find the magazines and I had to do it in secret. So my whole life I've always felt like it's not like scared. But it's like a secret if thing.

It's like very like, it's a secret. I don't think that it's good. I don't think it's good either. Like my household at a single mother. We had a step that at one point.

But my mom had a lot of boyfriends. She would be, you know, in Estonia, we have sauna culture. So everyone's naked. Everyone's naked. But you have what culture?

Sona culture. Sona. Sona. Okay, Sona's yeah. Like even as a little kid.

Even as a little kid, I would sit. You know, a sauna. It's got the lay. You know, the steps. Yes.

It's hotter up there.

So kids would always be sitting in front of the feet of the adults.

Got it. And even my mom's girlfriends would come over. And I would be in the sauna with the ladies. I would sit in front and be like so far from my face. Right.

Like as a kid, I would look back. I'd laugh at it. They would laugh at it. Very close to casual distance. Yes.

And it's like. And it's. So being naked and sexuality in my family, at least. This is not the case for all Estonian families. But we also don't have any Christian guilt or none of that.

You know, it's like a communistic thing, which has Christian values to some extent. Some homophobia and some chauvinism, all that. You know, that comes with it. Yeah. But sexually wise, sin is not like included in it.

You know, so there's no guilt really feeling sexual things. And in my house, yeah, my mom would have boyfriends. I would hear them have sex. And my mom would need to be like mommy needs her own little time. So you go hang out with the sister.

I know that that means like I didn't know what sex was. But I know it's like that little grown up thing. Right. So so you knew there was something grown up going on. Yeah.

So it did feel adult, but it didn't. Yeah. And then, you know, I would have like even when I was like 14, 15, I started having little girlfriends over. My mom would like literally.

When I was like 15, my mom. This girl was like very shy. And we were watching Ice Age in my room. And then my mom would bring us cinnamon rolls. And then when she didn't look, my mom would give me like two condoms.

Just in case. We didn't even fuck. I was like fully virgin. But she wanted you to just feel okay about it. Because you wanted me to feel okay.

And I think that was very healthy. Like looking at other people. My age, who I've met. And I talk about their childhood about their sexuality. Sure.

It seems like it's exactly like you said. It's a thing in the shadows. And I think when you're a young. Like a. Especially when you're with every young man.

Young boy.

“I think it's really bad to hide those things.”

And make you feel bad about having certain emotions. Yeah. You can't really control. It's just horrible. Some of you, that's the thing is that you can't control it.

So it's like, then it makes you feel ashamed of party you. That you have scientifically. There is no way you can control and you. And then what happens? Then you're 40 and you're in a dungeon with.

Oh. We're like a drilling your ass. Well, that's because I got to let go. Because mommy said I'm a bad boy. That's what happens.

Yeah. Really? I was, I mean, I guess. I don't know. It was a good boy.

I'm not going to have a drill up my ass. I'm going to treat a girl nice and then we're going to have sex. Yeah. Two adults. Yeah.

I think this is the very. This is definitely a good time to learn about some of this because. Yeah. Now with horn. Wow.

Well, let me think about some of this. Let me think for a second. Do it because I like talking about this stuff. Because it's also important. Like a lot of people don't have some of these conversations.

Right? And they don't think about it. And parents don't know. Because like, I think it's interesting. Your mother would make you the cinnamon roll.

So here's something. It's like, you know, you're a good boy. You get the dessert. And I, you know, I care about you. There's something a mother making a treat giving you an offering.

But also here is something I want to let you know that I understand what's going on here. And that if there's something that that I want you to be safe, no matter what.

“So then it's like, that's what a mother always wants for a child.”

Is the child to always be safe.

But I think like the presentation that is pretty interesting. What do you think? Like, what do you really think? Because you know, there's some Native American tribes were an uncle. Or even a father or brother will teach the younger sibling about masturbation.

We'll literally go out with him in the woods and teach him how to jerk off. It's like my step that I was already 17. And he's like, he's like saying, like, when he gets hard, you know, you can watch videos and play around with it.

I'm like, okay.

Do stick a finger up your ass.

I'll show you what's a good time. Yeah, sorry to late, you know. Yeah, I'm pretty. I got two toothbrushes hidden in my ass, brother. You know what I'm saying? We're party in there. Click this remote and see how I feel.

I got to think of my ass that makes me go, oh, Yazoo! Yeah, dude, click this remote. Now run a fucking five, two, four. I clicked this remote. Bro, that would be a great game show.

You have seven people somewhere, right?

“And like a quiet area, right? And one of them, and you have to be like 40 feet away.”

One of them has some sort of remote, activated sexual apparatus hidden in their, but the holy hole. Yeah, the butter, whatever the 11th fingerprints. Some people call it, right? And so, but you don't know who it is.

You only get to press it three times. If you also show a count as we call it, yeah, the offshore. Like when you're a Christian, you can't fuck the holy hole.

Yeah, but you can do the offshore.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The IRS don't know about this one. Yeah, we're talking about where, let's just say where people do Malaysian banking, right? That's what we'll call it. So, so anyway, but that's the game show.

You have seven people and you just get to look on their faces or whatever. Or you can ask them a question and while they're answering, you could buzz. But if you don't have the right person at the right time, then you're going to get the wrong person answered. So when you see a lot of people in a pool and you see that one guy pissing, it's so clear. Yeah, that's fine.

Is that okay to pee in a pool in your country? Is it normal here? It's very similar. Every time I'm in water, I pee. Yeah.

It feels so good. Yeah. It feels holy. Yeah.

“Yeah, I think getting that out early, it must be tough for a parent.”

Here's why I think it's tough, I bet. And I don't know. I'm not a parent. But I bet it is you just don't want to see your kid grow up that fast. One hundred nobody likes to see that. And it's probably such a special age where your kid isn't like, and it is, it's a special age for young people too. It's like, dude, that's like the best years probably where you're like, you, your dad has like a new best friend.

You guys do cool stuff together. You're like, he's your hero. And then somebody shows him some kud or something or draws a picture of some pussy on a piece of, you know, on the inside of a big oyster shell and some and shows it to the boy and then everything changes. Everything becomes about that.

Yes. Yeah. But so it must be tough for a dad. Maybe it's just a little boy. And then looking at my friend with his daughter, you know, it's that's even tougher.

Because I think it's your angel. It's your angel. Because I think with boys, it's more expected. Like even with my mother, me being sexual, very accepted. My sister was a bit older and she was very protective of her.

You know, mothers always love their sons.

Dad's always loved their daughter. It's like I think, you know, they always say it's like a thing. Mother's always a very tough funder daughters. Because they're a, they're a woman. And they know how tough it is to be a woman.

And you've got to toughen these bitches up for the real world. Oh, you got it. Nobody touches your fucking flower. Yeah. You know, oh, that's a boy.

You've got to fortify these bitches. But as a boy, fertilize the ground. You know, right, have fun. So it's like, so that's another thing with like girl. Because I remember that.

I mean, I literally remember. Even my, like me being a little kid and like having girlfriends and my, my mom would be like, That's, that's cool. You know, my boy is cool. Yeah.

My boy's having a little girlfriend. He's the hot guy at school. He's the funny guy. That's cool. But if my sister would date, that's like a,

Oh, like a girl. So right. Yeah. It's a total different energy. Yeah.

It's a total different energy, man. Yeah.

“I remember they had a gal who would like kind of rub clean.”

Exes on her like inner underpants, whatever. And then throw him off the balcony and let us grab him and catch him and start. I'm just like catching the bouquet of wedding or something. Wow. Pretty clean.

With the juices. It wasn't juices, but it was like it had enough of an ambience where you want. Like I'm putting on cleats one time to catch it, you know, really. So yeah, like act, you know, like activated sneakers kind of under which you guys have cleats in your country or not. One time I had a, we do have cleats.

One time when I was a little boy. There was a, there was a girl that stayed over. She was like my mother's friend hold classmates daughter, maybe. She was like maybe 19. I was like 11 or 12 or something like that.

She stayed over one night. And the next day I'm alone at home. When you're alone as a boy at home, that's when the devil comes. Oh, visit, you know. You're crotch suddenly like shows up on the wall like a genie coming out of a lamp.

Like, what are we gonna do today? My house needs to get fucked. Yeah. What'd you say? Everything in my house needs to get fucked.

Yeah. Like I tried my cock everywhere. The couch is the pillows. So then I go up there. My god.

And this 19 year old. I think it's like the ferromones and her colon were on the bed.

She sounds 19. I mean, I think so. I think it was colon. Not colon. What's with perfume.

Oh, I didn't know. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. I didn't know.

Okay. I smell. I'm really nice. Oh, my god. I'm going to the bed.

I put the covers on. I take the pillow. She slept on. Like forcing. My face.

I'm like jacking off. Oh. Dude. I remember.

This is, I don't even know.

We're talking about anymore. This is supposed to be an interview about it being from Estonia. Yeah. But dude. But dude.

“I remember I would hide in my buddies at their house.”

I would hide. His mother was like this sweet. She was like, just like a good. Or she just like, I don't know what she was attracted to. And it was like, you know, there's that energy.

We're attracted to your buddy. One of your buddies mom. There's something you keep going over to this house. You don't even like, you'll sleep. I don't like the game.

You're playing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I would. And I would. And then room with him. And she had like just weird shit.

Yeah. But still legal stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But I remember I get in the closed hampering.

Just like she had like one of her bras was in there. Oh. And I don't know if it was still warm, but I thought it was. And I would just smell it. Like put it close to my fucking.

Like I just wanted to push it all the way into my nose forever. That's what I did with the pillow. I just wanted to fucking shove it down my DNA. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I wrote. I wrote a love letter to my friend's mother. Oh, whatever. You need the amount of hand.

You got it. Yeah. You got really bad. And somebody should be watching you. Yes.

Still to this day. That's a lot to. Did you give it to her? Yes. No.

And she never addressed it.

Oh. Oh. So weird. But it wasn't anything. It's called un-requited love.

Bring up un-requited love. It wasn't anything. I've read about this before. Hold on. I want to.

I want to. I want to. That's what I'm saying. I want to help you get to this. Just not to the solution.

Un-requited love is one-sided, romantic attraction where feelings are not reciprocated, often causing profound emotional distress, including loneliness, low self-esteem, and anxiety. It commonly stems from idealized fantasies, un-requited crushes, or unbalanced relationships with roughly 98% of people experiencing it. Wow.

So you know what? You're not alone. I'm not alone, dude. Well, often it's un-requited love lead to crime. Can you look that up?

And then we're going to say. That's what I was also thinking. Un-requited love is a very common violence in murder. Awesome. There you go.

Yep. There you go, right there. The actions can be severe, including stalking violence and murder.

“What was a little boy, so she was stronger than me?”

But also three options stalking violence and murder. It's not like it's just like include murder. Mm-hmm. 'Cause stalking... It's wrong.

But it's... Well, even the mother I wrote that letter to... When I was... When I was going home from school... Yeah.

I would take a longer route just to go buy her house. Oh, yeah. And maybe catch a teddy. I never did. But I gave the universe a chance to give me a sign.

Just to see something. Just to see something. 'Cause that's also like... I mean, we had porn, but this was illegal. And I like download a fucking image.

And it was hard. It's like right there. You need a prey for it. Yeah, so to see a teddy. I need an intervention by God.

Right. Yeah. Oh, man. Then I found a magazine. You ever find like a magazine in the woods?

You know, the classic. When there's porn in the woods or something. Yes. Who's during winter? Who hid it there?

They always hide. I don't get it at all. 'Cause somebody hide porn in everywhere. Everyone. It could've been Israel.

I think if somebody hid it in every woods... It's Israel. It's like that page. It pages. It's a page.

You're corrupt young men. Yeah. You corrupt the future army or about the fight by showing them a huge horse cock going into a pregnant lady. 'Cause they all jerk off and then the army's weaker.

It's not a bad strategy.

“Well, you know, that's what happened with Ukraine and Russia”

because Russia deployed a lot of North Korean soldiers.

And now they're first time having it.

And it's Internet access. You know, they're like not fighting. All they're doing is drinking and jacking off. No. Yeah, 'cause it's like imagine.

You're seeing porn for the first time. Jack off by myself. Wow. And let's bring it up. What are you saying, Koreans are jacking off?

Yeah, North Koreans, 'cause they had no internet. No, they deployed. It's like a huge thing. I'm being its Pandora's box. And then I found this magazine.

One time I found it was during winter time. It was on the rise. 'Cause it was so frozen. Someone's like ice fishing. Everyone ice fishing?

Yeah. And then I had to get a pick and to like, it took me hours with my hands freezing to access these cities. I was like the new Frankenstein with Jacob Belordy. Have you seen the beginning of that?

Exactly. So, Klang, Klang, I get a big block of ice under the magazine. Out. I put it in not in towels. Near my, uh, near my, uh,

what's out on the wall? A radiator. Radiator. Radiator. And you're the radiator.

It took me like days for the dry water.

And then dried off. And I had to peel.

“I got only one page open because it was all fucked up.”

But it took me like, I was like a detective. It took me like days to see. And it was all fucked up except these two big round titties. So I cut the titties out and kept them in my fucking bad man wallet for years. And I would show other guys at school.

I'd be like, "Check out this." And show these two ominous titties. I love that. Yeah. Like wolf's eyes.

Mm-hmm.

And the first born video I ever saw.

It was gay porn. I just didn't know. Wow. It was like solo pixels. I just saw cock going into an orifice.

And then like, it took me like minutes to realize this. Another cock hanging near the orifice. It broke my heart. And the guy who was banging doing that porn is an Estonian guy. I met him like 20 years later.

No way. Did you tell him in her feelings? Yeah. It told me I really said, "I thought you were banging a chick." Oh.

And he goes, "This is my friend Marcos." Oh. There friends. Yeah. Yeah.

You want her, people are friends in some of those videos. See the whole fucking. North Korean soldiers hooked on porn after getting internet access for first time by helping Russia fight Ukraine. North Korean military men who join the war front and Ukraine on behalf of Russia have

unf -- why would -- first of all, look up this up separately, keep me on this page.

“Why would North Korean men be supporting the Russian side in this war?”

I just -- Communism. Because they're also communists. Oh. They support them on interest.

Everyone's against North Korea except so Russia's seeking for partners. You know. Got it. North Korean military men who join the war front and Ukraine on behalf of Russia have unfettered internet access for the first time.

They're not going to be able to do that. They're not going to be able to do that. They're not going to be able to do that. They're not going to be able to do that. They're not going to be able to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that.

They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. As a result, they're gorging on pornography. Someone's telling you the whole different line.

But you're seeing everything you've ever dreamed of for the first time. I'm staying at the base, brother. We can give up a little line. We can give up a little line. If we give up a couple of hundred more acres, you know.

So to just so I can get through a couple more of these categories that I'm really curious about. Dude, ah, when I did the youth exchange program in Romania when I was a kid. Oh, throw it all out of the second. I just don't know how many stories I can take. There was somebody in the jacket off all over at the end of it.

Just you. I'm not judging you. I just have to fucking brace myself for just a second dude. Let me touch my fucking neck for a second. Great release to clean you.

I imagine you started doing that on a plane. I got a whole lot of things. And I got to release my cranium. We put a fucking balloon up and those people are getting weird out there. Dude, you know, someone's like stretching at the airport.

It's like too much. You know, when they're on the ground, then they're doing that little things. Oh, yeah. Just take your bad hip. He's a stupid man.

Yeah. I'm uncomfortable. Dude, I want to do squats too. But I'm not going to just get your fucking bad ankle to Minneapolis, brother. Dude, but I here's a dream I had is one day a fun way if I was had a long enough

layover. I wanted to go for a jog in the Atlanta airport or the Madrid airport. I think it's really, really big. You want to go jog? Because you could jog in the Madrid airport. It's like giant.

You could do like a two mile run. And like, so I just wanted to go for like a run. Like, say, if you're running late for your plane, you're, well, you're welcome to do that all day. For sure. So I'm like, if you just had your headphones on and you just popped off that obnoxious thing.

“Yeah, it popped off some shorts. Why not go for a run?”

Yeah.

That's always been a dream of mine ever since I was young to run in an airport.

To run back to go for a run in an airport. I think it's to do something someplace that seems obtuse, you know. But let's, I just want to make sure that we get to the end of this thought of like, So did we, did we cover fully? So as a mother, I think, or as any parent,

it's just to create a comfortable way to have that conversation and keep it on going. So that it can be there's room for it to breathe. Like, yeah, I think if it's taboo or if you don't talk about it at all, then it feels like something's wrong or then you just learn.

Your friends tell you, and it's always some evil older brother that's like calling you a

F*** or whatever. And just are doing this and for you like this. And you know, it's like too much.

“It's gross and that kid probably learned from some dark dark way, right?”

Yeah. So I think like, like, yeah, but then here's what happens is you learn from a kid. You learn from some like, and then, and then you become like, Oh, I need to do certain things or I need to operate certain ways or make sure that I'm like trying to like engage with sex or something.

So that other people, my peers will think it's cool, right? Well, the only reason I wanted to lose my virginity was because all my friends had lost their virginity. Yeah. It's not even, remember how much you wanted to have sex, like in your DNA, you feel it. But then when the opportunity, how scared or did I was literally, I was so terrified.

It's crazy. And also my girlfriend, when we decided to do it, I had already a lie that I've done it. So I had to pretend like I've been here before. And would you do to pretend to stand up straight or whatever? I didn't even know, you know, like, she has angles.

To even get my cock into her sweet little angel hole, it took me several tries. Like better try several times. And of course, he's like trying keys on a door, you're like, "Oh, that was not it." Exactly, that one goes to that other player. They never explained that important, you know, they don't know that.

Yeah. And it took so long, yeah, I had to like, and I came within like, maybe it was like two seconds or something.

And then you just got a lie that, you know, like, I told her like, "Oh, it's my like third time."

So, you know, I'm still pretty new. Oh, dude, I lost from Virginia, I had a bowling alley in our town. Really? At the refurbishing now, so I'm glad that they're doing that. Wait, what the room did I put toilet?

No, no, no, behind it. What? Yeah, in the woods? What?

“Yeah, no, it was sex, but it was, yeah, I lost from Virginia, mine is bowling alley.”

Bring it up over there, Tiffany lanes over there. (laughs) Oh, you've talked about this. See how dusted off his little wand, and got his weasel grease for the first time here. That means these lanes are well on and the napkins are well done.

Pretty cool. Oh, here is where they're. I hate to see that it's close. Good place if you came early like Theo. I know his girl didn't like that.

He came early, but that just makes him an alpha. Let's go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Nicholas F.

Wow, it's all Theo. It's all Theo, dude. (laughs) I had no idea, dude. Dude, you took this business down, probably.

Now there's all these little kids trying to get their (beep) wet, and they're not even interested in the lanes. This bowling alley owner must be so, his mind must be like, the fuck's been happening in the lake for years. It's everybody behind the building.

(laughs) Nobody wants to use the lanes anymore. Places full of rich history. Theo, if I became a man behind this alley, shout out to the patrons for giving him the strength to do so.

Amen to that. I'm here because of Theo, mine who lost something precious at this bowling alley so long ago. Any good place for Theo is good enough for me. Oh, that's nice of you.

Thank you, man, man, weasy. Again, Theo, it's all Theo. It's literally all Theo. I didn't know, sorry. Yeah, but anyway, thank you guys for some of the warm sentiment.

And yeah, just a beautiful place, and they are reopening it soon, so I am excited about that. You should go to the Rio. (laughs)

Go to the river and cut it. You should go to the Rio opening. (laughs) I did, are we even gonna mess this place up even talking about this on here?

No, they're totally fucked now. But it closed there. When did it close?

Well, but the renocity, two million renovation.

Getting a new bowling alley. You know what? I should have reopened it. Yeah. This is the spot.

Hang. Yeah. But still, I hope that people practice, you know what I'm saying? Bumper bowling if they do around there.

Just say factivity. But what would you, if you're a dad, what do you think you say to your son like really?

“Like, what do you really say to your son if you think you like?”

And when do you think you would do it? I'm trying to think if I had a dad around that was going to communicate like that. What would I have, what would I have like to like, it's probably like you want to live in her 12? Yeah, you follow you see the way before that probably.

You know, little Willy. Like, did you show your little cock everywhere when you were a kid? No. Like did you show it?

I showed it to everybody. I had to really. He felt so good. And people would laugh and feel good. Like my mom would have her girlfriends over there.

Drink wine. And I would do this thing where I would slide. You know, they're like in on the couches in the living room. And I would slide on my socks. And I had little, these like gray sweatpants with a little hole in front of my little Willy.

Oh, wow. I don't play to guitar like this. And then run back in my room. I mean, dying life and they were like. Right.

And I did it so much that eventually my mom was like, you know, that's not. Right. You're like, you're 30 now. You've got to.

Yeah. He's got a sliding out there. So do stuff like that. Like, I love that. That's like funny.

Oh, yeah. I think it's definitely funny. This, uh, perpetually says the best approach to make it ongoing calm conversation. Not one big talk. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, I think that's true. Oh, dude.

I've talked about this for, but my uncle was like.

My uncle. I don't know if he was our uncle.

“But he was like a guy that somebody was making love to that had a car, right?”

And so he would bring us to the wine stuff. The wine store and he left me in there one time. He was going to do something. So I'm wandering around in there at some lady walks up. She's like, if you see my kitty.

And I didn't know what she was talking about. And I was probably, I think I was maybe 12. And then she opens her jacket. She was naked. No.

Yeah. Wait. Why would she be an angel like that? I don't know why, but I didn't know what was going on. I just remember me.

I was totally naked. I don't know if it was bush or whatever. I mean, everything was in. I remember that, dude. But it was just kind of crazy.

You know? I had my real. Now I can feel it was nice, dude. But I just, it was like a car. I remember that that happened.

But I think my uncle has said something after that. He maybe, he asked me a couple questions about it. But I think it's just like, do you make her do it? Maybe. No, he did not.

Oh, that would have been crazy. No, he didn't have any. My girlfriend showed her tits to a young kid one time. Oh, wow. It's just because to blow his fucking mind.

Fuck yeah. That's fucking kind of fucked up. It's cool. Big ass titties. And this kid was like,

I'm fucking yams, huh? Yeah. Dude, I'll tell you this. One time at, at YMCA summer camps. Shut up YMCA.

Best summer camps in the world. I'll say that facts. They had. We would go to this park called Fountain Blow State Park. And it was in Louisiana.

Bring it up over there. Fountain blow. Let me guess the reviews are all for you. No, nobody knows about this, dude. I don't know what he knows about this.

But it was like raining one day. And we sat there and they had this guy named Eddie. And he was pretty cool. And Fountain Blow. Just look at the pictures of it. That's it. It's very pretty.

It's very pretty. Very beautiful place. But like everybody's bored because it was raining. And so you got to walk up and look down like his girlfriend shirt one time.

One time. That's all you need.

“And I just remember I walked up and looked.”

And then I was like, Oh, I didn't get to see it. I said that. Like I just made it up or whatever. It's like, he go one more time.

That is respected that, you know, but I don't know if it was so powerful

that I actually couldn't see it. Like a blank. Right. Like you just you staring into something. You know, just like, yeah.

I do want to learn a little bit about what brought you here from Estonia to the USA. Like, why did you come? Well, stand up, of course. Okay. So you were doing stand up there.

I was doing it in Estonia, Australia, Estonia, in the capital, Thailand. I didn't know Australia, Melbourne. I didn't bang cock for a year. I was the feature on the road in Asia.

With a lot of guys. I met Archio Fear that way. I met Sam Talent in Estonia because he came through. I did it in Canada. He came to Estonia.

Yeah, I invited him. Yeah. I put some gigs up for him. It was awesome. So were you running your own show there?

Yeah, yeah. We have like our own comedy club. Okay. Me and my friends, like, eight of us, basically own. And he is still active.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Some are true. They're all killing it. How big is talent?

600,000, I think. That's a big. Yeah. It's pretty big. How big is Estonia?

1.4. But, you know, when you say 1.4 population, what is it really? Like, actually online voting people who know what's happening in the world, maybe 60,000. 60,000.

You know what's like when you say, how much is in America? It's like a big number, right? Right. Yeah. But how much of those people are actually consumers.

And they go to the shows. They go to like, like, online people. I see we're saying, right. Like, America, I think the population now. What is the population now?

I bet it's about 350 million.

That's crazy. Wow. The US population is approximately 342 to 349 million. But yeah, what percentage are like? So, out of those 350 million, I reckon, actual people.

It's maybe 3 million. Right. A lot of bots. A lot of bots. A lot of bots.

A lot of NPCs. I think that could be right. Mm-hmm. Did you, uh, the people there do that is comedy different there? Would they get our comedy?

What is humor like there?

“Well, you see that that's why I stand up had such an explosion as well as that.”

The Soviet Union collapsed in 1991. That's when Estonia became a country. Again, we were a country in the 40s before Soviet Union rocked around. And we were Soviet Union basically all the time. You know, Estonia didn't get really offended when you call us Russian.

You know, because we're like Estonia. But it's a very day then behavior. You know, it's like you were in my class week and it's like most of our history. We've been Russia. So I don't get offended when people say that.

But it's a thing we have. So there's a lot of pride in Estonia right now. A lot of being Estonia. A lot of language. Everything, you know.

It's a beautiful place. It is. You would. Because you seem like a guy. Um, America's very loud.

It's loud. It's a lot. The highways are loud. There's a lot of pollution. It's loud.

It's a lot. I agree. That's why you guys are also like culturally. Leaders because there's a lot of tension and a lot of push and pull. A lot of push and pull creates beautiful art.

So that's why you guys do that.

But Estonia. Very serene, calm, sauna, the sea, the ocean. Quiet, space, space. We love space. We love quiet.

It's not a lot of people. So when the Soviet Union collapses, we'd like rap, music, culture, movies, stand-up comedy. The more, you know, to control what communism does really well. When it works is to control people.

You control their subconscious, their mind. So that's why there was all this. You can't speak bad about the government. There's all this censorship, right? You can't say bad words, no sexual stuff.

“You have to keep people's subconscious subdued to control them.”

Just like they're doing now in North Korea. That's what you have to do. Well, just like even in this happening now here, I think in America is like, you know, they're like the way that they sedate us with certain things you can and can't say online things or things. No, that's what you do.

But the more tension creates the bigger the release when you get to say it. Like that's how stand-up started in America. So much tension with the government, racial tensions, everything. And then a guy named Lenny Bruce starts riffing with a cigarette in his mouth and starts saying crazy shit. And people go into this room like holy fuck.

This is where you can talk of the record. This is how I talk with my friends when the government isn't listening. You know, that's why communism. So that's how it, you know, like it's how whispering started even. Exactly.

And literature back in the day where Russian literature is so beautiful. It's because it's out of all this poverty. And you have to speak through the flowers. That means I can't say fuck the government. But I can say it in a different way.

That's why, you know, so parameters like having parameters also create beautiful art. And then when the Soviet Union collapse, all the floodgates are open. We get South Park, Shappel Show, Knight Rider, McGyver, Grey's Anatomy. Felicity, friends. Yeah.

“It's all like coming into our consciousness.”

Yeah. And then me and another friend, Sander and another group of guys. The comedy Estonia guys used to be on our organization back in the days.

We were the first generation of comedians.

So now we're the first adults talking about stuff that American entertainment talks about. Potty mouths. So they didn't have it before, not at all. So you didn't, when you were a kid, they didn't have like an Estonian comedian. We had comedic influences, but it's all controlled by the fucking...

It's a mainstream. It's all, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. I got him in the ladies and gentlemen. Like, like, big bird or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like tonight show Johnny Kart, like stuff like that. It's not. So then when we started, we were like first ones at the well. You know, the first ones at the well of creativity. Now that there's no lines, the internet keeps everything open.

So it was a big explosion. Open mics would have hundreds of people. In Estonia? Yeah, open mics, literally people squeezing in. Just to see this new art form.

So it was a beautiful explosion. It's like fucking the Beatles shit, you know.

Yeah, so it was amazing for us, you know.

Dude, that's so cool. And so incredible. The first hours of material, let's be honest. They're not the most original, just because, as I said, we're the first ones at the well. I just got the first couple of water.

Yeah. No one's ever made an airplane joke. I'm going to do a fucking 12 minute closer. That would be so hacky here. But it's the first time anyone's talked about this.

Wow, dude. That's so wild. Yeah, there is something that's so thankful about like, let me say something.

“That's why I think we're in a spot now where comedians sometimes are the people that are,”

the only ones and the few podcasts that are saying something that's like, not the mainstream narrative. Well, exactly. And that's how that's how podcast basically took over the media. It's just because that the more you subdued the subconsciousness,

the bigger the release. What's that movie? This movie is great if you've ever seen it. It was the movie. Titanic.

Titanic. Titanic's so good, huh? They had it in your country. Late, but I had it. God.

I think we're getting, uh, I think we're getting live a ton next year. So I'm very excited about that. Dude, yeah, I remember being in Vietnam and they had just gotten, uh, stand by me when I was over there. Wow.

And they were fucking crazy. You know, these Vietnamese people dressing up like the characters and stand by me and singing that song when the night. It come. The lamp is gone.

We all dressed up as blade. When we got played member blade. Everybody had sung glass and a little suit. If you go to a nightclub, it was the, the bounceer was blade.

The guy, the head was blade. It was blade. It was blade. The guy being blade. It was, everyone was working.

Dude, leather sales skyrocketed.

what's happening in Estonia blade was you.

This was me. This was, this was all of Estonia for like three years. And do they have a lot of black people in Estonia? Three. Good.

Yeah. And how's that been?

“If, like, if we interviewed them, what would I say to you?”

Think it's been good. Yeah. Okay. So it's been hit or mess. It's been hit or mess for sure.

But I would say, Estonians, Eastern Europeans, Northern Europeans, you know. It's not. See racism is embedded in you having a preconceived notion about a certain group of people.

And I would say living in America, it probably gets validated in an echo chamber. If you grow up in a white neighborhood. And there's, and it's a racist neighborhood.

You're going to have this notion.

And, you know, and then you're going to grow up and understand. Okay. That was just my childhood. In Estonia, if you don't really have black people around, the racism is kind of, it's firing into darkness.

Yeah. I know exactly what you're saying. Yeah. Well, I'll be in Canada. And I'll see like a black people in some can.

Can any places? And it doesn't feel like there's any of the tension in weird shit. That there is in America. And I'm not saying that there, it feel, it's so fucking different. You're like, oh, this is how things are supposed to be.

And they also keep like repeating this same narrative in America. Like it's getting beat. It's gotten like, it's like, we should be able to,

“I think at some point start to move past some of this stuff.”

It's like, what are we still doing? I know. You know what I'm saying? If I'm still chewing a piece of gum from fucking 150 years ago. Yeah.

And after, and there's a taste in my mouth after a while. Because at a certain point you got to, you know, somebody let that gum go. Yeah, you just get, you know, yeah, take part of it out of your mouth. You know, I give it a little bit of a rest sometimes. But there's some people that just want to chew like some of the same gum.

And maybe that's messed up for me to say. But I just blew my mind when I was in Canada. And I was like, oh, there's not this racial tension here at all. Yeah. And absolutely, there's people who are, you know, it's racism due to ignorance is one thing, you know.

Yeah. And totally, I must say that as an excuse. But, and it's like, you know, as Tonya's, we draw Ben bombs. But it doesn't have the history you have here. You know, like, we have, we don't even say black people.

We just dropped the word. But what? But you guys have, you know, you guys, you, like, Right, we don't have the word you have. Right.

We say, like, negro. Which you guys say too. And it's not a good word, you know? Right. Well, especially being of the South, someone, it's like, yeah,

it's all like, I agree. There's such a history with it. Like certain terms here that you don't want it. Like it's not cool. Exactly.

So, but there's none of that weight that touched that word. So, if a white guy will be drunk and sell it out of black guy, it's just 'cause he's a fucking baboon brain. But there's no deep, conceived fucking hatred behind it. Right.

But if a white guy gets drunk and yells at a black guy, that's fucking kind of racist. No, it's racist. The action is racist for sure. But what I'm trying to say is he makes it out of ignorance.

It's not, there's no like, right. You know, and it's, and it's like,

“but yeah, I think our media over time kind of perpetuates it or wants to keep that”

flame burning. 'Cause it also keeps a lot of fucking anger in certain communities. Unity has zero dollars in it. Division has the bank. Amen.

There's no reason for people to get along. There's no money in us having an open conversation and being happy with our lives. There's no money in fact. Think about that.

I fucking hate your ass. And I need to be better than you. And you want to be better than me. That creates revenue. Yeah.

Yeah, there's no revenue in peace. Man. Yeah. Oh, it's interesting. It's sad.

It's a lot. I'd love to talk more. We both have to go to the airport. We have to go to the airport. So people know that.

Are you excited to travel like to see places like Estonia? Oh, dude. Yes. What would you think about that? Oh, I would love to go there, man.

I love to travel so much. And then I hate to say this. But it's like, you know, I got into podcasting. And then it's a lot. It's a lot.

And also, like, work started going really good. And then like, that's a lot. And so it's all been like gifts. But yeah. And the next year or two, I would,

maybe fall in love or something going traveling or just going in traveling. It'd be nice to have like somebody to do. Like, you know, you get those things that you do with. My mom wanted to go to Italy. I think I might try to take her there.

So I have to bring it up to her and see if she wants to go do that. But dude, yeah, I want to go see some more places. I've been fortunate to see some places. But I would love to get to go see some more.

Like, that semester at sea trip was like the first time I ever.

Wow. And dude, it would be crazy bro. Like, because you were just, I didn't know anybody on this ship.

“I remember in everybody's families where they're like waving in a poster board and shit.”

I'm like, and I, and I just sort of waving like strangers grandmother's shit. Because I, like, I don't know if I told my film that I was going. So I'm just fucking, this ship is leaving port. And it's just like, And I'm just like, where are we going?

And we sailed for like 14 days. And then we get to Japan, right? So we went from Vancouver to Japan. And, um, and that was crazy.

And even when I got in Vancouver, I'd never been there.

I went hitchhiking to go up to Whistler. Some dude picked me up. This dude, his name was Mike Michael Sutton. He was the caretaker for Christopher Reeves. Who was Superman?

Yeah. After Christopher Reeves got hurt, he was his caretaker. So I got to ride and listen to all these crazy stories about what it was like, like taking care of Superman, which was just fucking crazy. And shit like that.

That was before they had tough ones. Like shit, like you just like, I don't know. Things were so much more possible in like unique. And like everything felt like an adventure then. Um, but that whole ship experience was really great.

And we got to go to different places. But I remember we got to South Africa. And I got off. And I was like, oh my god.

Like, like, there's like other people are like living in different places.

Like it just, it's hard to conceptualize things until you go places. For sure. And I would say as much as I've met the Americans throughout my life. And now living here, I would say there's something about Americans that it gets put into a lot of your heads that everywhere else is really dangerous. And not good. Like it's like you're not safe there.

And I don't know if it's like capitalism and consumerism trying to put this thing like stay put. Stay your spend money here. Take a loan. You know, this is a man like, like, of course, America. Number one, we love it.

Patrioticism is beautiful, absolutely. But you know, the rest of the world in time. Bad. No. And it's getting better all the time now.

“I mean, I think America with special leadership we have now.”

With the way that we're supporting like crimes around the world with a lot that's been revealed. Like I love this country. I respect the people that have stood up and fought for it. Absolutely.

Especially with our jobs.

Like freedom of speech. If people didn't die for that job, we don't have a job here. Absolutely. You know, we don't even have a job market. And then there's other bigger entities now that are trying to like curtail that.

And like he's big, you know, like tech companies are trying to limit what you can say. Like I think America's in a really, really interesting spot where we need patriots like more than ever. And I don't know how we become those. And I don't know also how we fight against the evil that's going on. And the algorithm listens more than the people.

Yeah. You know, say that again. The algorithm listens more than the people. So what you hear is often wise, dictated. The algorithm makes a decision.

What you're consuming. And that's wild. That's exactly the opposite of the internet. What it was created for. Yeah.

Because any opinion, any opinion that the algorithm wants you to have. It will it will make you have it, you know. It's in here. It's very scary. It's very scary.

It's not a human. Like I totally get it. We say a offensive word here. And another person who's maybe a revenue stream or a company that sponsors your podcast. Maybe they don't like the word that we use the slur.

And that's a human making that decision. That's a board meeting. It's not my personal preference of a decision. But at least you can validate it to me to a person. A algorithm deciding like between you and a consumer.

There's an algorithm. And that decides if that content gets to the consumer. That's not free speech. Yeah. That's that's an orchestrated version of free speech.

And that can even be more dangerous than just saying you can't say it, you know. Yeah. I mean, and it's fascinating. And a lot of people don't even realize it's going on. And we don't realize that.

Have you ever looked at another person's feed? How different is it? How is that possible?

“You know, are we both living in this country having the same issues?”

You know, how are me and you living in the same country paying taxes for the same government? And you get a totally different newsfeed because the algorithm knows. Yeah. This is what he needs. That's what he doesn't need.

Isn't it creepy that you know when you scroll? You know, I spoke to a guy who's a programmer. He's from Sweden. And he told me they developed this back in the day. He used to work for sport device, a big programmer.

He sells these patents. And he said that one of the biggest things they've done is, you know when you're scrolling. If you like a post, that's one thing. But you know what's more valuable for the algorithm?

When you scroll past, you stop. You don't like it and you keep scrolling.

Oh, this is something you don't want to show other people you like. But you love this shit, don't you? So it knows you better than you. Dude, and it's like, that's, it's like temptation. It's like, and we don't realize when those things come on,

“that you have to fight against that man.”

Like, if you really want to have discernment,

it like, there's never a better time.

When we realize that people are fighting for your attention, right? Because what you absorb is valuable for them. And then you believe, you're going to, that's what's going to influence your children. And it's like, we're at a crucial attention is money and time. And there's one thing you can't get back as time.

And if you can control what people spend their time on, aka their attention, you control a whole narrative of history now. I mean, it's, it's basically, it's a communism. It is for sure. I mean, it is.

Yeah, absolutely. You're controlling me. You know, you're making me feel emotions about a certain topic that wasn't even entering my brain. It was a beautiful day and a nice flower. And now I see this thing on my feet.

I'm upset about something that has nothing to do with me. Yep. And now that I'm upset, I'll resort to things that these are things that sneak into people's lives. When, for me, these, it's, sorry. I don't want to preach.

These are things that sneak into my life and I'm angry. I'll eat something. I don't want to eat because I'm just frustrated. I'll act out like I'll like, maybe trying to hit up some girl that I'm not really interested to bullshit.

Master, but do, do, watch in porno. Just different things. Once you're agitated, they got you. Because then you're, then you're going to go buy some other addictive thing. Yeah.

And it's up. It's just like, oh. Yeah, everything negative has money in it too. Yeah. No one's making money when they're content.

Yeah. And it's like. And, and, and, but America is, of course, a beautiful, and it was, of course. And it was, and it was, and it was founded on the fact of free speech and alternative thinking. That's why stand up is thriving.

And the reason I moved here is because I want to practice. See how far the rabbit hole of my own mind on stage goes. Mm-hmm. And the only place to do that has, basically is America because the level of comedians is so high here. Because you have generations of free speech and it's beautiful.

And it's important to continue doing that. And, and dude, and I'll say this when you've done something like, like, yeah, I got to watch you.

“I think we did some shows there last month or something.”

It was really great, man. I mean, I love seeing your clips. You're so funny too. Thank you, bro. For just all the entertainment I appreciate it.

And everywhere is beautiful in the world, you know? Like, even dude, my friend, you know what? I stuck out recently. I met an old Iranian wrestler back in the days to work in an eye club in Melbourne. He was a bouncer.

Iranian did a little wrestling. They're so homophobic, but they're history. They are chic. Was it an Iranian wrestler? Yeah, they love.

And I mean, yeah, they love wrestling. Sky, just randomly reached out to me on messenger. He was like, hey, I heard you on a podcast glad to see you're doing so well.

You always used to be funny.

I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm happy you found your lane. And he's doing it wrong. He's doing it wrong. So I go, uh, yeah, thanks, man. You good?

And he sends me a picture. He's getting an upper-al-spirch with bitches on the beach. And he's like, no, I'm not worth the war, is that? And those things always show me. You know, everywhere in the world,

there's a guy chilling somewhere. I mean, a little cocktail or a fresh squeeze orange juice. Steering at us and trying to be happy in his own life. And whatever they tell, of course, there's war, and atrocity is absolutely that's happening.

That's confirmed. But don't forget, a lot of people are happy everywhere in the world. Yeah, don't forget to be alive. I mean, it's easy to get stuck into the things that are negative. It's easy to get stuck.

Because I'm like, are you good, dog? And he's like, no, what are you saying? I'm chilling. I got my parents. I got these bitches that show me beautiful ladies on the beach.

I just dropped my parents off somewhere in the museum. I'm fucking great. Yeah. Yeah, I'm leaving them there for four hours. They think I'm going to get them in three.

It does a great for lawful truck here. It's a beautiful day. What are you crying about? I'm great, man. What was that last thing we were going through?

There was one kind of closing piece that wanted to have about it. Wait, can I take a picture with my camera of you? For sure. It's just going to be a funny picture. I just like this camera.

Damn. And you know, okay. Sorry about that. It's a whole camera. And you know, Theo, you're so funny.

And it's new that camera. No, it's all this fuck. And you know, you're so funny that it's crazy that. You know, I saw you as a kid on real world. You know, really?

Robles. Robles. Robles. The hat in your country. MTV.

Was it an MTV, right? Yeah. Yeah.

“And remember when I met you, I was like, man,”

I know this guy has Theo on the comedian. But how do fuck? It took me weeks to figure it out. And I used to watch all that did you? Funny.

Wow. It's funny that they had it over there. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting, dude.

And it's great that you have this incredible podcast.

And it's great that you're like just expanding the common mainstream media by just being a dude who talks to people. It's great, you know. Well, thanks, man. I appreciate that. I've had the president on.

I've had Ori Maddie on too. And it's an honor.

And the first Estonian that I know. So really cool.

And yeah, I would love to be welcoming your country someday. I mean, I know I am welcome there. But I would love to go there sometime in visiting your home country.

“And yeah, do we got to get to catch up a little bit more?”

And yeah, thank you for your time. Congrats on your success. You have dates coming up. I know it says comedy on state. It's yeah.

It's a ARIMATTI.com. That's on my dates. I keep adding them all the time. I'm on tour. Please go see me.

Let's have some fun. I'll show it so much.

Have you been to La Hoya Comedy Store?

Never. I'm not my favorite. I'm shooting a special there. You all let's go. I'll never.

But I heard it was so beautiful. It's just perfect. There's no bullshit in there. They got Louis running on the piano over there. If he's in there, let him cook in the blender and cook.

He keeps just the energy in there.

“And then don't play rap music to me and they play piano, right?”

Which I like because it sets the tone that what you're going to see here. Sure, it might be messed up, but it's art, right? It's art. Where's if you just bump into some little way in or something. Which is still great.

There's a different energy, right? Yeah. So I love that they do that there. And yeah, it's just like it's a pure thing. There's not like they got popcorn and stuff.

They're not selling people fucking crumber lays or whatever. They're fucking Lego Lego Ryan. And California people. I have, you know who I really love. I love Floridians.

And I love California people. California people. They know exactly what I mean. I don't mean LA. Yeah.

I mean California. San Diego. Some orange county, all that shit, they're fun people. To the best dude. That's hot.

There's no better place to like do the stage. Oh, and the ocean's right there, bro. I'm a big ocean guy.

“And that's what I really, it hurts me and Austin to live.”

I love Austin, but I'm a big ocean guy. You know what? If they could fucking get a little bit of the ocean somehow. Rogan's got money asked him. Get a solution, Rogan.

Yeah. How many could do something? Yeah, yeah. He could text somebody. You got to text somebody.

Like you get a straight of something and pull in there.

Every time the security line is too long at the airport, I always text you.

Oh, I go, where's the airport? Yeah. Yeah, help. Some other shit bearer port dude. He could fucking buy a spirit airline.

Somebody said he might do it. Oh, yeah. I wish you crazy. Just for comics. Yeah.

Aromatic. Thanks so much, brother. Thank you. Thank you. Now I'm just thinking on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be.

Cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mine. I found I can feel it.