#679 - Luke Bryan

He's a host on American Idol.

He's an outdoersman, and he's funny, man. I'll say that straight-up. He's funny, man. He's got a new album's Signs that's out September 18th. I had a blast with today's guest, Mr. Luke Bryan. [MUSIC PLAYING]

Shit, shit. You on the readers? Dang, where you saw 'em, huh? Dude, me too. Are you on them? I have no other choice.

Well, what does it look like? It don't look like nothing's happening. [LAUGHTER] It don't look like... If I don't have them, I can't pick out which draft beer I want.

[LAUGHTER] I'm like the hills, bells. What is that? Oh, when you saw an IP, yeah, you're lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be the owner pills, and then got an IP, yeah. [LAUGHTER]

Well, they started... When they came out with all those out, like the local IP, it was always like beavers, ass, or whatever, like it was like, it was always like Vermont, stepdad, like it was always saw.

Sitcha ass down. White men can't hops. Feetal alcohol sour.

Uh, man, my first time. You know, I've never done high-gravities.

“What do you mean, like, uh, like a fake carnival rather, whatever?”

A high-gravity beer. Oh, I don't even heard of that. [LAUGHTER] What is it that you make it in a French press or whatever? Well, it's like a, you know, it's a beer that is like a 12% alcohol.

Oh, I take the way the whole point hadn't beer. Well, yeah. Well, the first time I did it, we did it. It was a beer called Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale. And it was like a 12-point beer. And I had Bourbon flavors, man.

We did a, we were doing cake stands with it. And that was a beer you came out with? No, it was a beer that it just got popular. And it got popular, and I called where to get a cake of it. And you got one at the house.

What did I call a bunch of my buddies on my, hey, man? The Bourbon Barrel Kentucky Bourbon Barrel cakes here. It's about six buddies. My wife goes to dinner with some friends. Oh, yeah.

She comes back. She shouldn't have come back. Man, where we all did. We were, we were just, we were gone. But we all doing this, tickling each other and shed.

Man, we were, we got, got, got interesting. But just Kentucky Bourbon Barrel do not do cake stands with a 12-point.

I, I could never hold natural light down in college.

Yeah, cake stands.

“Well, dude, you know Bob, Bob, kid rock came out with a beer for a walk called Badass Beer, right?”

This is a story he told me this. And I'm paraphrasing, but it doesn't matter because it's done in well. But I, or maybe it does matter, whatever. There it is. Badass American longer.

But apparently the second batch of it that, and in first batch, it, like, sold out, right? And the second batch, they made of it, like, it got, it was fucked up, right? Dude, I, I had a beer that did that. But they just put it on anyway, the, like, we already made so much of it. Just put it out there, dude.

I did a beer that went sour. And it was, like, three in every case. So my boat is going to be drinking it. There, like, man, this shit's awesome. And they call me about three hours later, they're like, "Hey, man, something went bad, South."

Then I had to call the street anyway. It was a damn nightmare, dude. I'm not putting anything else out anymore. I'm just going to damn, just, it's just too much. Yeah, dude.

Oh, yeah, when you get attached to some things, have you been attached to some wild stuff over the years, probably? Attached to what do you mean? Like wild products, kind of, anything. Yeah, TikTok.

“Yeah, I was not the only thing I'm attached to.”

Are you addicted to that? I said it's closing in on that. Yeah. I saw your son on there, the other night. Or was it, I saw your boy out there throwing bombs.

Your boy's playing quarterback. Yeah. So it was past weekend, this past weekend. Oh, it was. Where was he playing that?

Man, we went down to Fair Hope, Alabama. But on the coast, it's right there by Mobile Bay. I Spanish for it. Yeah. And we.

So our team last year. We had a really dominant team. So we beat a lot of kids. We beat a lot of teams by so much. And my son wasn't the quarterback last year.

Really great quarterback last year that went on to play college. But we had a lot of local national teams just like, man, we're not going to play all.

Okay. How to go out.

“So we are coach found taught to fill it rivers.”

And they scheduled the game.

Well, they had originally scheduled on a Friday night with an ESPN wanted to pick the game up. Because it was obviously a fun story with me and fill it rivers kid. Oh, his son's a great quarterback. Okay. And I already four star recruit going to NC State.

Man, they moved that game from a Friday night to 1230. Noon in South Alabama. Buddy. I mean, I'm from here from down there. Dude, it was it was bad.

It was hard man. We, I had to go. Man, I had a dad call me. We went and borrowed like these coolers from another college. I had one of my guys that works at my farm hall.

These damn missed in coolers down. Try to keep these boys from. So man, I turned it. I had all kind of stuff going on. Oh, y'all.

Look, y'all had that hot. You mean the high tech, the big blowers that are blowing in the big old line. But man, you know, my son got through it and did really well.

I mean, when you, when you think about your kid starting his first football game.

And it's owned ESPN National TV. Oh, that's heavy. Dude, I was flipping. I was losing it. Oh, right.

Oh, you must have been geek dude. Oh, dude. Y'all are lucky, man. Y'all had that hot. Falu that fancy.

Cool air. Yeah. Dude, we had you be lucky. Dude, I learned it. Dude, nothing.

Really? When it's 107 heat indexes and you put hot tap water.

“Dude, I remember I played one year football dude.”

And it was too hot. I think the cleats I had were real thin or something. I remember the ground was too hot for me. I remember I'd run over like if we had like a timeout.

I'd have to run over and stand on like one of those defensive linemen's feet.

I'd stand right on his feet. Oh, dude, the heat was just come right up through my shoes. I think they got me a bad pair of cleats. But I just -- I played in South Georgia.

I played my, man. I learned. Man. We were playing this. I was in eighth grade.

I was about 120 pounds. We're playing this team. Sly County. Hmm. Where is that?

Man, it was up above America's Georgia. They must be damn slithering. Oh, they sound like they're on the same side. They must be damn slithering. They sound like they're on the same side.

I was like, "Oh, man. I'm going to be a good one." And I put my head on his thigh bone.

“And the only thing I remember when I come to was the bottom of his feet,”

running into the end zone and him hand the ball to the riff. I heard the bail go off. Did you hear a little bit of free gospel, huh? I said free gospel, bro. You got served up, man.

Dude, our field had damn lice or something, man. So I remember for a whole season nothing to do about it, dude. See, we had to feel that staff all over. Oh, God. So you get a strawberry and then next thing, you know, you're...

What's it called, men's uh? Oh, yeah, bro. We'd have to, we'd have to, we'll bear some of the players out there because they're, their joints couldn't have run out there and play in defense on the play, dude.

Some of that shit was bad. Dude, we were itching so bad. God, we'd have to etch each other. That was the craziest part in the huddle. We wouldn't break the huddle, probably.

Somehow, the play would already have started. Do we have our hands each other's backs and stuff in there? I bet if you use a pedophile, you stayed for the whole game. Just to watch all that. It was different, man.

Is your awe? How'd your son do you say he had three touchdowns? Three touchdowns and, uh, man, and we got... We got a real... he's got a great team around. I've got really great receivers.

And is it Christians could we go upstairs? So it's, uh, you know, just a school diner, Frank, and called Battleground Academy. He got it. And, uh, man, he's really went about it the right way.

He, you know, he's a senior this year. And he, he had to wait his turn behind a really good player. And then, like I said, he's got, he's got some really good players. He's got some dogs down there. Maximus Curry and Madwich Porter are really, really great.

Maximus and Maddox, bro. And Maximus's dad was Mr. Olympia. No way. Dude, you guys see this guy? Dude, dude, Brandon Curry.

Look at this guy. Bring him up. God. Boom. Oh, my God, brother.

I wouldn't make it through half a hug from that man. God would make our kiss to him about five times that game. 'Cause his son had about a... Dude, with beef prices where they're at, that dude, he's going to have that in five, bro.

You got somebody back, keep on his own. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, more in Bitcoin. Hey, bro. I can't even imagine that.

I couldn't imagine having a muscle like that. God. Oh, Brandon's going to kill me. Dude, I would not even leave the house if I had muscles like that.

I just hope Brandon doesn't headlock me for exposing him on your show.

Look. It's like you exposed him bad, bro. He's laying it out there.

“I mean, he's definitely he's using that spray tanner for sure, I know that.”

But I will say this. He's that color. Oh, he is? Yeah, he's even... Maybe he may be a little lighter there.

I can't see that guy. I gotta get my readers on, dude. I can't even... Yeah, you can't tell these days. Some of these guys, if they...

They start doing that chocolate body, and you know where they tan their whole body. I would say that'd be more of the Irishman out there doing it. Yeah, fuck up. Look at ginger.

Yeah, that's right. Since there's any ginger body builders. Oh, God. Yeah, that's going to be interesting. But yeah, Brandon, curry there, God.

Leprican body building. I would just... If I saw that man, I would just sit on his lap and tell him what I wanted for Christmas, I feel like. Oh, this dude is from... I mean, this guy's from Game of Thrones, obviously.

Oh, my God, that's wrong. Oh, that's nice, though. And a lot of ginger women are built like that, too, when they get in their 40s, I find. If they do that on me.

Oh, you're trapping me. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm not saying anything, dude. I'm just saying a lot of...

Oh, hey, that's who you're referring to. Oh, God. Yeah. God, damn. Well, she could open my pants with it.

She could just sneeze in my pants and damn open up. But without even...

I would never choice at it.

Good, God. Yeah, I'm questioning the women, the woman. Yeah, that one's very well. Yeah, I mean, they got it. Yeah.

I would test some of them. I would test some of them.

“That's how I bet a lot of times when I play that WNBA, you know, I bet.”

I take up the dude. Oh, that guy who wants to be in it or whatever. That seems so weird. You think he's just doing something weird? God of being just doing it.

Trolling. Trolling? Yeah. Because dude, I don't bet a lot, but when I bet, a lot of times, I'll take up...

Well, someone who is an out, a lesbian woman. I take the toughest lesbian on the team. And I do at least three rebounds. That's what I bet. Where's your percentage on that?

Hundred? No, probably. 58, 60. But we're doing good.

Because some of my picker on the fence under a line about it,

just to fit in in the league. That's what I think. What would you slap down on the old guy that's claiming to be a woman? That's probably a safe bit. Oh, I think if he says he is,

I want to see that gender reveal. That's what I want to see. You know? Get his parents there. Get everybody in the backyard.

And then break that thing out. You know? And if he's rolling on the gut, he's trolling him. But I wonder why he's dead.

“It just seems like what's going on with him for me?”

He's doing it just to prove the point. Former NBA player. Oh, how ridiculous it is? Yeah. Yeah.

Former NBA player. He knows canter freedom. Declare themselves. Did he change his name to freedom? Oh, there's another one.

Royce. Royce. Why? Declare themselves eligible for the WMBA draft in August. 2026 to protest league policies on transgender athletes.

So sources say they are not eligible. So what? Oh, they were saying if they go through with these new rules, then they're going to have to allow guys like them in? Well, what they're saying is right now the rule is what?

But not listen, let's just claim that the fact that you and I are claiming to be, you know, we're learning as we go here. But I think they're just saying if you identify as a woman, you can play in the WMBA. I see.

And he's just saying I identify as a woman. Yes. Dang. Well, we'll see TVD boy. But they should do that gender reveal right for the draft.

If he is, bro. That's all I'm saying. Can't say. Yeah. Just a pants.

Just old school high school locker room. Pants style. He's a huge guy boy. If you probably can't even pants him. Get hung up.

He's huge guy. Get caught on something. Shit, did I bet his wainer's got knuckles on him? I don't know what I'm saying. I bet he's got a elbow in it.

Oh, I bet dude. I bet it's in a fair scope. I bet it's wearing a damn hoop bracelet. You know what I'm saying? I bet he's fit bit.

Yeah, dude. That's when, yeah. That's when you know. That's when you know. That ain't for me, man.

Dude, do you? What are we talking about? Luke Bryant good to see you, dude. Man, yeah. I can't wait to see the clips.

You're only five minutes in. Dude, you think your son could beat all. Lane Kiffin's son. You think he could beat Knox Kiffin if they were? Well, I don't know.

I mean, when you're talking about boys like Knox and my son. These boys are working so hard and so tuned up. It's really about the team, really. I mean, I don't know. I don't know anything about Knox.

And talk about a damn deal.

That was it. You went to it. Man, I went there and it was really.

“It was, I didn't want to put my son in camps before he was ready.”

Okay. Well, because then, then he's got some embarrassment. He may get out there and not feel like he can compete. So we might be too much when I could be sees like some people are so good. Well, I just tried to manage it.

And then this year, this past spring, we did a couple of them. And man, let me tell you something. We went to Atlanta and he threw well in Atlanta, but we went down to Louisiana, man. And when you see them boys getting after it in Louisiana, it's a different deal.

Well, so was it that man in camp? No, it was a Nike. It was like a Nike Elite 11 camp hosted. So Nike Elite 11 host camps in different regions of the country. All right.

And so they host one in different areas. And then they compile the the top performers for a big camp.

But what's so think about this, I don't know all this.

Like I'm learning this as I go. I mean, I mean, yeah, you didn't. Yeah, I didn't. You weren't that good. Exactly.

No judgment, but yeah, you didn't have this opportunity. Yeah, and it probably didn't exist then. It didn't, but, you know, it's not.

“I hadn't really had time to meet other dads for them to walk me through it.”

Got it. So he's a brand new brand new brand new brand new to it. He is, but he knows he's brand new to camps. And he's wanting to see how he's going to compete with the other boys. He did good in Atlanta, top talent in the world.

We go to New Orleans. And there's like a hundred and fifty quarterbacks day one. Well, not length knocks Kiffin's there. And day one, we can tell that Bow is throwing it. You know, you're going to stand.

He didn't have any stars at the time. That's the big thing. Two are you a three star four star five star. There were a lot of four and five stars there. And he was throwing alongside of him.

Well, I don't even know. This was a Saturday. So we already had planned to go home Saturday night. Well, he comes up to me dad. They want me to come back and throw for the DBs and the receivers tomorrow morning.

Buddy.

First of all, I didn't even plan.

Next thing you know, we're eating crawfish. And I'm out on bills on bourbon stream. Hey, that's right where you need to be. Right, we went to a nine. We tore up bourbon stream.

Did you had no tour managers with me? No, it was just me and a buddy. And Debogo, but you know, he can go. They let him in a piano bar briefly. Oh, yeah.

“But now we went on the bed early, but we had a big time on.”

Y'all didn't have gone to bed early. What are you talking about? We'll see. Anyway, the next morning, he is. So he's a tougher competition at next day.

Well, he's throwing to the receiver to the DBs and the receivers. Okay. You know, they needed quarterbacks to showcase the receivers. And man, I was so AMPed up watching them bulls compete. And you know, you're in the room and all of them are probably going to go off and play college ball.

Yeah. They're getting evaluated. There's cameras on them. And, you know, they're putting their life. I mean, this is their thing.

They're putting it all out there. And so we're so severe now, you know. I mean, they start, you know, you'll see videos of seven year old. They got seven year old kids that are miced up. Miced up.

Yeah. And some kids. Well, an Instagram. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And all his doing is he's like, he keeps me. I'm like, Mom, I gotta go to the toilet or whatever. It's like, some of these kids, like, go to them two year old out there. Miced up on the toilet.

No, just miced up. Like, he just keeps trying to leave the game and go to the restaurant. Whatever that one kid. They keep micing up. But it's like, yeah, they have some of them.

It's just like, they're micing them up so early. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just gotten lower and lower. You know, these kids are starting off so early. Well, I think it's psycho of this room.

No, I don't know. It's might be him. Is this him? This is just one of them. Yeah.

One of them is miced up. Toilet kid or whatever. I mean, what are we doing? Yeah. Dave, bye, I'm boy.

I'm doing my stuff. I'm doing my stuff. I'm doing my stuff. What are we doing? I'm doing my personal YouTube.

Oh, my gosh. I'm still in the room. Bro. That's Diego Pavey, I think. I'm all grown.

I'm all grown. That's wrong. You know, he's a tech mate. No, he'll be fine, man. We're joking.

That's my guy. But, dude, well, the crazy thing is though, with your son going down there and playing against those guys that are the, you know, four stars, five stars. Playing against guys who are working.

We're growing when he's throwing with four, five stars and he's throwing with them,

Right.

It told him and his brain, all right.

Well, I deserve to be here. Right. It was a great moment for him, rather than going in there prematurely. And not getting called to come back. And then so he left that camp.

I think he got ready to three star. Some kind of truth. You started getting some some college offers and stuff like that. Well, yeah, because you play in some of these like, somebody's Christian leagues and stuff like that.

He's smaller communities, dude, it's I'm just saying the Lord don't have the best defensive backs. That's all I'm saying, dude. Don't say it. So it's like, sometimes you'll get players that come out of these places.

And it's like the guy ran for 70,000 yards. Yeah, what was he running against? Yeah.

“You know, a lot of people, I think even as Beau did well,”

there's still, there's a lot of eyeballs trying to discredit what he did or whatever. But, you know, he's got a whole season to put his body all together. And, you know, you can't judge anything kid on one day and you can't judge mine. And you can't. So, so, and, you know, Philip Riversson, unfortunately got hurt.

And, you know, got hurt. And so the game would have been a lot tougher. Game had his son stayed in it. But it was, it was a big one moment. I was happy.

You know, you know, the deal, man.

I've, I've just had an amazing life.

Like 95% of my jewelry come from watching. You kids and all of them have fun now, you know. So, you know, we spoke on kids. You know, you hunting, you hunting somebody to bear some children. Where are you at in that quest?

Yeah, man. I'm out there. I'd like to have some children. Yeah. I mean, I got to do it.

Same. Yeah. And with a woman. You know? That helps.

So, and you can't just, yeah. You got to figure it out. I'm, yeah, I'm headed in that direction. I'm working towards. I'm starting to like see if my actions will kind of like, you know,

do you, are you straight up asking first question. Do you want kids? Is that, is that how you lean in and out? No. Still a little more.

I'll draw a picture of a kid off this, you know. How about this? Just slide it over. Yeah.

What do you think about that?

Yeah. [laughs] I'm not a good artist. She'd be like, I said, I was an ugly kid. I said, look.

Yeah, she'll be like, you think I'm that ugly? [laughs] We ain't making that. Yeah, dude. But I, it'll happen, man.

I start feeling, the more I start to like, just take care of myself and live in a good way. You start to feel like anything's possible, man.

“You know, but you have to have some children, bro.”

I think like, mmm. Yeah. I want to be married. That doesn't want to be married all week. You know, that's how I feel about it sometimes.

But it'll come around, dude. Just set that up in the, in the early estate, in the early stages of, just so people know what's up. Yeah, I mean, it's something to be, anything to be pre-nuped it. Yeah.

Just pre-nuped weekly. Right. Just sunny evening. The sun again. The sun, the week contract.

It's like a 10-day deal. Like in the NBA, you're getting a 10-day contract. That's out of bad idea. Home of the 10-day marriage, right here. Nashville, Tennessee, dude.

TLC coming to your TLC network, the 10-day marriage. 40-minute marriage, dude. That's what they need now. Like a mosquito. Yeah.

Like a prey. Like what? They're like an insect that lives for, like, hatches, hatches screws and dies. Oh, that's a, uh, B if they sting you to die.

Yeah, but there's like an insect that lives like five hours. Probably my old landlord, that bastard. The May flight says is an insect that spends most of its life underwater before hatching into a wing to dull. Reproducing and dying within 24 to 48 hours.

Yeah. That ain't bad, man. That ain't bad at all. Yeah. And then probably getting eaten by a fish as it does.

Mmm. That's a life, though. That's a circle of life, dude. Hopefully, the big trout gets you. There it is.

The fish may fly hatches on Lake Blush. There's a May fly. Catching brim. Is that we all catching? That's what we ate primarily.

Yeah. Wild brim. No. That glyphosate brim or whatever. Yeah.

That six-eyed brim. Oh, Lord. Dude, that's just getting wild. There's my flies right there, baby. Theo, that's you.

“That's what you're going to graduate to right there.”

You start catching fish on one of them. You think that means you've been hanging out with me. Yeah. I'll graduate you up with that. Were you?

Were you took me fishing over there one time? So Theo was quit. You were quit learner. You actually got complimented by my, by my fishing guy. Did I?

Kate? What was that? Flint. Flint was his name. Said you got, uh, you got some skills.

Some natural talent. Did he really? Yeah. But once you get, it's all about layers. Now, we got to graduate.

Yeah. You're in kindergarten. Okay. And then when you start catching stuff on a fly rod, then you'll be easing into ninth grade.

Who? Where's that at?

“Where's the best place you, that you found to go fly, fly rod fishing?”

Probably out west. Yeah. Got west.

Put you in the south-fork and snake river.

Put me in that beach. Put you on a stone fly. Mm. Let's catch you a big old 21 inch cut throat trout on a ruffle. Mm.

How's that sound? That sound beautiful. What's a ruffle? It's like a, that's where the water just ripples over the rocks. Really?

Mm. There it is. Cut throat trout. That's in your future there. Shit.

That's out. Now see here.

“The only way you can do that trip is you got to get married.”

You got to have three kids and then you got to tell that wife for three kids. You're going on a cut throat trout trip so she can cut your ass out. That's the only way you can do that trip. Yeah, bitch. It looks like my ankle right there.

Right. Because his jaw don't work on the bottom. That's what I call the cut throat. See that red looks like somebody cut a throat. Yeah.

Probably is wife for being out there lying. He would out may fly hunting and got a throat cut. The uncle said he had to hold the bottom of his mouth closed all the time.

Dude, the bottom of his jaw didn't work until we'd always have to hold it like that.

Uncle said he was always like that. And then he crack it out and put something in there. Shut it back. Never got around to fixing it. Huh?

He never got around to fixing it. I don't think they could fix it, man. This wasn't the time when everything was fixable. Now you got people where everything shit's fixable or whatever. Everybody got clean teeth or whatever.

Hey, I knew Joel. Oh, dude. Yeah. Now you could just get a 3D printed damn Joel. But back then, remember they had scoliosis at all that shit.

Remember that at school?

“Did you have to bend over in front of somebody uncomfortable in a game?”

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No, but why got called in the whole with lies? I'll tell you that shit, did I had to lie so bad when you're,

I was at itch in my head so bad.

I had to open my gifts when they have feet, dude. I couldn't. God. Yeah, they'd pull us at the principal would pull you out in the hall and go through your hair with popsicle sticks. Lice was one of the biggest problems in this country when we were kids.

Oh yeah, did popsicle sticks for y'all? Yeah, popsicle sticks and then, man, one of my kids got lies, buddy. We in Nashville, we got a nice clinic. Oh really, that's nice. Like, I'm talking about you going there, they served you cucumber water with lemon and, um, that might be where you're going.

I don't know. Gosh, you know, everybody ain't getting married. With, uh, like a mehito for a kid. I mean, I walk in my kids. He, like, I'm out there with popsicle sticks.

“And they washing my hair was something that like, you're at a salon, huh?”

Yeah, well, I took mine. My kid kept scratching his head. I ain't ratting on which one it was, but it was one of the two. Yeah. Man, that's a coming boy.

What's wrong with you? I thought it was going to be like something I had to look for. Yeah. No, I, he, he, man, I pulled some hair back about three of them day and things went running. No.

I said, oh, shit, my wife's fixing the female gate. This whole house. They call me this and go down to the damn lice clinic. Hm, man, we go down there. And does that have an outdoor area as well?

Like is there a little play area?

No, man, I mean, it ain't, you know, I didn't never see the sauna.

I didn't ever see the dry sauna or anything. You rolled in there. And man, they do all this stuff with, like, organics. Oh, damn. We didn't have that shit.

That's what I'm saying. We had, like, lighter fluid. Oh, yeah. Our neighbor, I remember. Well, they just shaved your damn head.

I remember a couple of boys come to school. Just ball headed and still had lines.

“I remember they used, they would use a hair dryer.”

Try to get them just burned them out. You know, like, this is like a damn napal. Yeah, I remember they'd blow cigarette smoking year. Try to get them bitches out. Dude, he had to go like four times, man.

They brushed his hair with these, like, Oh, little things. Mm. But man, imagine, like, he's a boy. Imagine being like the captain of the chair,

the middle school chair, leading team with, in all that hair. Yeah. I mean, it's like a six hour hair brushing commit. We'll do women get headlights, you think? Yes. Oh, my God.

I didn't know that. Yeah. Bring that up. What percentage is it more of a male ideal? Or is it, is it more of a male pastime?

Or is it female and male? Probably non-discriminatory on the whole headlice. I don't know. If I'm a little bug, I'm pulling up on a shit. I'm coming up.

Because otherwise, they're probably gay bugs. I'm guessing females actually get headlights more often than males, according to data from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, or at least they're trying to prevent it. Hair length, longer hair gives lights a larger surface area to climb,

hide and lay eggs.

“That's why you got to get that buzz cut, ladies.”

Yeah. Age matters. Children between the ages of three and eleven get lights the most, regardless of gender. Cleanliness does not matter.

Getting lights has nothing to do with having dirty or clean hair. Dang. Just hold about who you're hanging with. Woof. We got 'em, boy.

We had 'em, though. We loved 'em at some point. 'Cause we weren't allowed to get a pet or whatever. I remember getting them bitches up and like, ah. Man, I was a kid.

And I stayed over a little boy's house one night and it's trailer. Hmm. And first of all, this is how terrible. Man, like, I have the worst allergy to cats.

Hmm. My parents never cared. Cats all in the house. I'm over there wheezing just your whole childhood. Yeah, did you ever had to kid in school

just always kept the green thing right there.

And there knows just that green, that green snot. One of one of my friends had tits, kind of one of my buddies. And I'd sleep at his house and I'd lay there and watch him. Look at his body. Or not look at his head.

I'll just see it. I'll just see it. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him.

I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. I'll just go look at him. Oh, wow. That was his name.

And was he rich or whatever? He looked rich, especially in our house.

“Dude, I remember first time I ever saw a dog inside of a house, man.”

I was probably 12 years old. I went to my buddy Scott's house and they had a beautiful dog in there. Go look at it. Retriever. And I looked like damn Suzanne Somers.

I didn't even see it. It came around the corner. He was like, they breakly. I did. I was like, who is that?

Because I just never seen a dog inside before.

And that thing came around the corner. Damn. Beautiful brother. I just remember that. And God, y'all.

Some people. I remember sleeping at some fellas house and he had all the pets. He had all the pets and cages in his room. And tons of them had escaped and shit. He'd cut the ferrets.

Oh, yeah, he had ferrets. He had the ones that pee on each other's backs or whatever. You know, like the twinks or whatever. Those twinks. Those, yeah.

Twink. Whatever they are. I think there's nothing there. Twink. And turtle probably had turtles in there.

Oh, dude. Anything that fucking sank. He had it in there, dude. And at night, he'd just sleep fine. But if you stated, it's humid in there.

Oh, probably. Bro, the air just felt like it had been eaten soup, dude. It was just fucking. It was just. But he cut that fan on.

He had the most powerful ceiling fan I ever seen in my life.

“I think it was hooked up to their truck out front.”

And he would cut that. And he would sleep, dude. And it would just whirl up all the smells. It was almost like. God was just like, it was almost just like doing a all call for like,

I'm not a market. Yeah. So it just. Yeah. But that was alive.

Oh, it smelled like a damn Vietnam breath. Man up in there, dude. It was. Bro, every animal in the animals. It kept him awake all night.

So I couldn't sleep. I was so scared of all these snakes and musk rats and them. Demons and fucking just violent emojis. And all the shitty hadn't cages. And I would lay there wide awake and it just stank, dude.

God. And you could hear his daddy watching pornography in there in the other room, dude. God. And he bang on the wall whenever it got to like a good scene of the porn over, whatever. When he was spraying out.

And I'm like, what in the hell? I can't watch. You don't say. And I'm in here. I'm in here in the damn jungle book.

God, that was dude. I forgot about it. I mean, the sad part is that I have stories like that. I just am not as quiet as good a town. What are you talking about?

Do you hear a great story teller, dude? Oh, man. You're a great storyteller. Oh, man. You're a great storyteller.

Oh, man. You're a great storyteller. Oh, man.

“I'm talking about, do you remember at a school dance, dude?”

Do you remember like being at a school dance? I'm going to slow song with come on. Yeah. And you had to go across and ask her to dance, man. I'm talking about, I had on my dance.

I had on my dance. A cardigan. Oh, God. A little navy blue cardigan and some. I knew you remember where like all my buddies had the polo shirts.

But I had to fake horse one. That was like the real polo. And then there was a fake one. And then everybody had subagos. But then I subagos pulling my panty machine.

Oh, subagos. Yeah. I had to fake subagos. I remember how to teach her. There you go.

Subagos. There. No. Keep going. Oh, yeah.

That's real subagos right there. Right in the middle. Bro, that's nice. That's subagos. Now I see how you got the little tag right there.

Yeah. What does that say? Subagos on it. S.E.B.A. Oh, yes.

He minded and say subagos. Mine was. My shit was plastic. Yeah. She had to crack.

That night one would be cracking. The shoes. The shoes. It didn't play the last 35 years. Mine I have a crack.

Bro, we had some day. I'm trying to think Eastlands were popular. Eastlands. Yeah, but those are kind of a little bit pricey dude. So sometimes I ended up in the tennis shoes.

I had some S.J. 9, 1000s or whatever the Mitch is worth. They've got. So you're how? I'm 46. Yeah, you're.

So yeah, we. Man, I had to fake James. Did you ever have real James? I never heard of James.

You never heard of James.

Oh, my God. Wait, were they long shorts for me? Long shorts with all kind of colors.

I remember that. It was like beachwear. But I was just passing. You go. Yeah, I should.

Man, I never got a real pair of them.

I was always some damn. I think you're a little worse.

“You're lucky you didn't get a real pair of those.”

The roses. Did you all have roses? No, home. And we had roses. We had that.

We had a Jerbo jeans. That was a big thing, bro. Bungos. No, no, we had a hit. And we had, oh, is he cavalry?

She was kind of popping. It was like this tight kind of dance pants. Oh, but. Yeah, that's a different thing. See Cavalry.

See Cavalry. She's bringing them up. It was Italian. It was Italian pants for boys. And sometimes masculine girls.

[laughs] I never heard of this. See Cavalry.

Oh, then things are popping, bro.

But do the school dance. Boy, you get over there. Man, I had. And in our school, they made the girls sometimes. Ah.

You hid this right here, boy. Oh, yeah, that was a move, dude. Freaking. And the girls, like, sometimes they made them where, like, um, you know, there's pool things that they have at pools that people get in.

Like a floaty kind of thing. Well, they would. Oh, they would do that sometimes. Yeah. But then some of the girls, they're, some of the girls,

their dad is going to make them where, like, a little floaty thing. So you couldn't even put your- Yeah, but you couldn't put your head. You couldn't put your head. Poor child had to show it with the floaty on.

Yeah, but you couldn't put your head just get your head kind of. You could rest your hands on it. But you ain't resting him on her back. You know what I'm saying?

It was kind of like a little, like, bumper bowling kind of.

You ever been bumper bowling? It was like that. But I remember that. And God, dude.

“I just remember if even if a girl like whispered in your ear,”

I just remember my ear would start just right. Oh, hot, bro. And remember if you even touched, like, a girl's back or way you. It was so hot. I don't remember, like, God, dang.

I don't even know what they're going on. Or maybe our receptors were bad off, bro. No, I was feeling him. I'm just, I mean, it was just so big. It was just being that, that just like that.

You forget, like, how much the energy. I don't even think kids really go. Did they even get hyped? Like, we used to get hyped. Dude, we were talking hyped.

Oh, dude. Oh, dude. And we'd have like homecoming dance. Valentines, like, every president's day dance. Oh, dude.

I remember one time I just got an act near whatever something happened. I might have just fallen into something that was like, you know, I might have just falls into nothing. It could have been poison. I could have been when that spray truck would come through the neighborhood or something.

I was scared of truck. Because we fucking, I'd ride right behind that bitch to catch a buzz. But then the, the dark side of that was, you would get a little bit of rash for not long. Maybe 48 hours.

But I remember we had a dance. And so my sister's friend was like, well, I'll put some makeup on. You know, and they had Revlon. You ever heard of Revlon? And it sounded like--

It was the only one. Yeah, maybe it wasn't. And I wasn't there. Oh, God. Yeah, that shit was--

Light rain. God. You'd start your pants with that shit. That shit could have, that was dual purpose. Dude, but I remember she put some makeup on me, dude.

And to cover up that hat. You know, I was like, oh, nobody will be able to know, dude. I thought, well, I look like a damn fan of the opera, dude. I looked absolutely unbelievable. Great.

“I think it's probably eighth grade or something like that.”

If you look back on those pictures, I look like Sammy Sousa when those crazy pictures they came out, you know? Like the later in the-- Well, a lot of villager. Oh, yeah, I look like I've been making love to a Call of Code cat, broadest day.

I look bad all for God. I got tricked, though. But that was fun, man. That was a good time, dude. Those are the good times.

It was a skier sprayer. Yeah, I remember that stuff. You grew up, I saw a red somewhere. You grew up in a peanut farm, yeah? Well, we grew up in Leesburg, the town in Virginia.

We grew up in Georgia, South Georgia. And we grew up-- we didn't grow up like-- you've seen like your houses with all the fields around it. I didn't grow up like that. I grew up in a small town, like, man, just quintessential small town,

Rajabike down the street. But all-- like, there was literally peanut fields. One, a core amount down the road. And then all the peanut meals. Like, I literally had a peanut meal in my backyard, essentially.

I mean, I could take a rock and throw it into the peanut meal. And, man, you talk about all the-- they start cleaning all those peanuts. Dust up the whole city. Smelled like peanuts, the whole-- It's a good-- you go down there.

If you just bike over there to give you half a handful of nuts or something. Yeah, they was planted a go around. Yeah. And so we-- Yeah.

But, you know, we would go pooled green peanuts

That was something.

You know, this time of year all the peanuts are getting--

They're starting to mature a little bit. So you can go get green peanuts and bowl them. Did y'all ever eat bowl peanuts much? I love eating bowl peanuts. But a lot of times, I'll see them like in South Carolina.

So that's how we pull them up. And then we put them on a tailgate. You kind of sit them on the back of a tailgate. And just sit there and go-- And just pick them all filling in a bucket.

Open them all up. No, you leave them in the shale. I'm just pick them like that. And then you wash them real good. A lot of people--

People all would ask me about peanuts. And they'd be like, I don't like them. Some people wouldn't wash them properly. They'd be dirt, dirt, water, and a peanut. So with us, we would really clean them good.

Man, my dad cooks them. They're about as good as it gets. Where's he? Get you a middle light enough. Starphone cook for the bowl peanuts.

Bowl peanuts are good, huh? Oh, man. We got to make a flavor with him, too, ever.

We never really did cage it and all that.

You know, we couldn't afford no Tony Sasheries. And none of that. We just had to do a Morton's straight-up Morton's baby. Morton's salt, baby, dang. Dude, there was only like a couple of things in the house,

“so you even remember there weren't even any medicines”

in the house you were growing up. There was like-- No, salt. Like something pink. Yeah.

Yes. What was that? That was for pink. Calamon lotion. Calamon, but then there was always pink.

Anybody else? Oh, like, well, that-- What was that? Oh, that-- I don't know what it was.

We were just pink stuff. I don't know. Well, they had like, they had like cleanse and stuff if you needed to like clean yourself real quick. That's it, right there.

Just pink stuff if you got a moxisillin. Moxisillin. Rubble going flavor. Bro, that shit cured everything, dude. Yeah.

Cloud. Yeah. Childhood Cloud. Oh. I had a strong case of it, dude.

I had clapping my eyes once. That's how bad it was for me, dude. But I've been through a lot. You had somebody that was called blink. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was called blink. I just wanted to got the blink. Oh, that's hilarious, bro. Dude, I'm looking glad you're here today, man. Dude, do you remember?

I saw a broke.

“Do you even remember that I saw you at in Hawaii?”

Yes.

Dude, I remember I was in the sauna first of all.

And there was a man in there. And it was damn Ryan Seekrest in the sauna. And I didn't know what the hell was going on. I thought it was like a new game show that we're doing or something. Like man in the, like, you know, out of the, like, steam buddies.

Grab the hot rock. Yeah, it's all like that. Yeah. Yeah, so like that, like bold peanuts or whatever, you know. Like I just didn't know what it was.

And then, have you told this story yet? No. The world needs to hear Theo Vaughn's trip to Hawaii with his brand new body girl. Yeah.

Yeah. I had, yeah. I had a security guy with me do because I wasn't like. So I see Theo. But yes, I get out there.

See you. And I'm like, well, I mean, you're in Hawaii. Yeah. It's romantic and beautiful. And I keep asking you.

Yeah. Like, who'd you bring out? And you keep telling me a security guy. And I'm like, there's line. Like, why do you counter the four seasons in Hawaii by yourself with a brand new security.

So after about the fifth time, I was like, it's really just human security. Well, I didn't, well, how are the conversations brought up to you exactly how. So me and it would as go to dinner every night because the freeze happened. So the freeze and Nashville. I was in Las Vegas for UFC.

The freeze happens. I can't go. Oh, I got it. So you're with pivoted. You pivoted.

Yeah. And I'm not saying that there's probably not great girls in Vegas. But I didn't really know anybody. Like, you know, it's like, I just don't want to bring somebody for five day. I was like, I don't know how long I'm going to be out there.

So I probably could have had some strategy and float and float and get a gal out. But anyway, me and Amber Hawkins are like, I've probably. We sat there for five nights. We'd be sitting there and we were really, we weren't even really like, now we're like friends. But at the time, we weren't like really friends.

This is what you're getting. I mean, you're hell.

“That's what way to, that's what way to vet your dad's security.”

I just do a Hawaii and get away. Do a honeymoon with him. Yeah. But without the honey. You're out there eating a full pig together.

Oh, too. Who ate the apple? I know this neither one of us put in our mouths. I'll tell you that, brother. We were just sitting across from each other dreaming about women.

That was it. But I will say this to we be at dinner and it's just me and him. Because I didn't have anybody to go with.

And when we had our dinner. Well, yeah. You're like, man, you need to get on. You said I just little bit just got out. Well, I didn't know him.

And I already had five meals in a row with him. I was like, just one time I get to hang out with you. But the hilarious part was, so we'd be sitting there at dinner. And somebody in the right next to us would get down on a knee and propose to somebody there with dude.

We must have sat there next to each other through nine proposals, bro. Over five days. Just me and him. Eat and them.

You know, it was always like fierce dinners.

And then it would be we would be out on the porch and right next to us. They'd built the American American Idol. Yeah. I was out there doing that. So they'd built y'all stage.

So every three. So I'm sitting there thinking, well, they don't brought you in to be some kind of band. Yes. Criticker.

I'm like, I, you have me so messed up. Like, I could have, you could have put 10 options. Of why you were in Hawaii. And out of where O for 10. 10.

“Well, I can't think, like, if for the first five minutes, I'm like, why are you here?”

Yeah. Man, I'm just here. I'm like, man, he, the shows didn't told him. He's a surprise or something. And then I'm like.

And this bro's just here with the security guard.

I didn't know what to do.

And my buddy, Rich is the old. Some of his is the only friend that have who's not married. Or doesn't have a job like you can't call your married buddies. Just let's get away. Yeah.

It's ice and Nashville. So we're coming hit the road. Let's go to Hawaii. Yeah. Yeah.

Just don't work like that. So it's like, yeah, sometimes it's like, well, that's my buddy. I can go with, you know? And so like, yeah, sometimes we end up just kind of going around a place. But dude, when I tell you we sat there and just like, and I think people thought we

was gay, man, or whatever, because they would, um, they would. Everybody else was just couples, you know? And it was just me and him sitting there in dinner all the time. I think it was pretty sad, bro. But it was nice.

Yeah. Yeah. So we're still, and we're buddies now, too. Yeah. It's kind of like, now like we just went to Austin this weekend.

But yeah, things got kind of scary for a little bit. It's like, I don't know. I get it.

“And I think you just don't know how people are going to act sometimes.”

Like things can just be weird. So sometimes it's nice to have somebody around to watch. Well, you know, we're talking about just to watch your sit. We're talking about it. Well, it ain't like with me.

We're when my son's playing football at our stadium. You know, our home crowd. They get that they're not going to come up to me. And want to picture while I'm watching my son. But man, when we travel to other other away schools.

Um, it's nice to have a guy just go, hey, local. You kind of have a guy. It's nice to have a guy just go, hey, let him watch. Let him watch his son play and then on our way out of whatever. You got to have a guy manage that.

Because if I manage in that by myself, then you're just tracking from your son. That I'm managing that, right? Like even in Alabama this week, we signed. I mean, I didn't take a picture with everybody that would have won a one. But when the game was going on, I was watching the game night.

Because man, I'm, I try to, I try to do the right things on all those moments. You know, you got little kids standing there want to picture. But, yeah, it's nice to have a guy to kind of. Yeah, just say what's going on. And also somebody just to, and it's like, but it's just somebody to go with.

It's like, I know it. Let's go. Look, we can go do something. It's good. And he likes to go to the job as getting satirms out of it.

It's also. It's like, we'll do that for having children. By the way, I'm learning. You and him could adopt. No, dude.

I ain't adopted me. But I was with him for five days in a while. I mean, I don't even propose. You think I'm adopted?

“I think I'll both put it in the cup, spin it, and then find a donor.”

I think it. I come out. Look at like both y'all. I'm putting it in the cup. Like that picture you drew.

[laughter] Bro, you're hilarious, dude. This is fucking hilarious, bro. God. I know.

But I've been going on some day. I've been dating some, dude. So I think it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen semi-local. You know?

It's not always like, I do got some buddies that are single.

They've been forced to single. Like, man, there ain't no women in Nashville. And I'm like. Here's what it is. It's not a walkable city.

Dude, you walk. You start walking around. You're gonna get hit by something. I know, but if you can't find a woman in Nashville. And I'm not saying you're having trouble.

But this other couple of other buddies. I'm like, there's a fresh new. There's a fresh new cruise ship. ship. The cruise ship from what it's like every weekend and the the from where Murphy's Perl. What they reset from. Oh, I see what you're saying at gals is coming in, but

there's some place that you can't we we I mean like a lot of great. Yeah, it's like it

is dangerous out there for it's like you just run it's like it's too much out there. Yeah, well, I'm sure you probably did a little bit and it was like hey, I probably won't

“maybe three times. Well, I was with you. I honestly was with you first time you”

told me you and kid rock tried to walk down the street of Broadway and you were like dude. Like you had just tried it. We were at that little we were at a showcase.

First time you and I met and you were like man, I just learned I can't walk down

Broadway. So that's for the first time. Maybe it's I think if people are drunk to was scary, that's the thing. It's just scary when people are drunk dude. But yeah, they're barriers seem to go away. Yeah, I think it's normal. Yeah, but it's like if you're not just like, you know, it's just a mix of things. But you know, in the past I was hesitant to invest. I felt like I didn't know enough or maybe I was too late. You know, I'm

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TECOVAS.com/theo. Tacobas.com/theo. See site for details. Tacobas point your toes west. Yeah, do you live in a national's been great though? It's all the different people just to meet and be around. Man, it's been a vibe, dude. And then you get to go out in the country and have your country moments. Oh yeah, do we just guide? I do. I do. I do how I'm just talking about a lot of. But I came in the week after. Did you the one with a when you went down there?

Yeah, when you went down there. Yeah, well, they were just a week later. Dude, they put the bullets. They put in my gun when even real. They didn't they didn't trust me in the firearm. Did you find that out later? Huh? Yeah. Well, who killed the turkey? I couldn't have done it. Well, first of all, you're wearing the wrong guitar. They said green and yeah, I bucked it off. Now have you done that again?

No, I would go down again though. I'll take you hunting. I'll go you. I won't. I'll put you real ammo in. Take you somewhere. See, look right here. Yeah. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I know those glasses were from a damn senior citizen. So that was get dark. You know, dark. You get cataract surgery two days before. That was stuff about images were dark dude. I drove a sedan home. You know, the images were big. They were looking kind of mental.

“Roll your face. It happens, bro. That's how I want to get that one. That's fun. You get do that.”

I'll take you on some real stuff. What else? He don't know what he's doing. Well, he was hunting some osteolids. And I'll say this, man. They hunt like afterwards, we were leaving the I don't know if it's called the scene of the crime or whatever it is. Where do you go? So we're leaving out of there. And there's two birds like right by the road like on the way out.

the game's over. Like we already did it out there. And these are like in the locker room.

One of them's taken is he's got a towel on his neck. One of these turknotes. Yeah.

“Putting go bonnong. Yeah. I want hell. But somebody went over there with the damn hand gun. I think”

I was like, dude, God, get me. Yeah. This is this is starting to something else. You know, this is a damn wet market. We're back. But God, bro. But it was fun. Dude, I would go hunt some other stuff. Dude, it might, we might have to start getting some real different animals, especially with these beef prices. You see what's going on with all that? Yeah, you know, it's it's funny, man. I mean, I'm from Trump said he's got 300,000, 300,000 tons of beef they found somewhere.

Let's see what it is. The president announced Friday that his administration would temporarily lift tariffs on up to 300,000 metric tons of imported ground beef, dude. Well, be, you know, I'm kind of in the loop on all that. I talked to a lot of buddies that that have

“them. And, you know, there was, I'm not, I mean, I'm in ag. I mean, I've kind of, I've gotten to know,”

I've gotten to know Brooke Rollins, Secretary of Agriculture. Cool guy. It's girl. And, um, she, uh, that's her. She's your bro? She's, she's married. She's married. She's got kids at A&M. And, okay, I shouldn't be asking that. But she, uh, I know you feel bad. Now, now you're going to have your phone tapped. Yeah, every time I say Paul treat a pig somewhere. Brooke's going to, Brooke's going to

put some, uh, dude. So, man, they just had this thing in Texas called screw worms. I've never had

them. Yeah. Well, you would know. So, the light screw worms light on your skin, their eggs hatch on your skin and they burrow into your body and them. And so, that's like just having neighbor. So Brooke and I, you know, I've done my farm tour stuff through the years and, and so we've had a lot of, I've gotten to meet a lot of governors that come out in my farm tours. I've, uh, uh, where Brooke, I'm trying to plan stuff to, to bring it to lift up farmers. But,

man, it's funny, you know, listen, I mean, we all, everybody can sit back and judge administrations and cabinet members and all that. But when you know somebody that's in the trenches doing it, I mean, you hear what they're having to try to negotiate a day like, man, she's having a,

well, first of all, when I came, when she came into office, like, there were Nini, I mean, the egg,

egg prices were going crazy. Uh, poultry, you know, bird flu. And you're like, man, you're not even thinking that the secretary of agriculture is trying to solve all these problems. And then I call her up and I'm like, what are you doing today? She's like, she's like, I mean, yeah, we're trying to lose back. Yeah. Or it's something new. We don't think we're in a rolling right time they get about time they get the eggs going, then screw worms coming in and Texas and the problem with screw

worms is, what are they, bring them up? They're up, they're a fly. And in, in, in, they're a fly that you can, they're easily controlled if you, you got to, you got to look at that. I don't want them bitches. Yeah. God. And look at that one, huh? Yeah. That's a lot different than pecker net. She

“remember pecker nets. Uh, I don't think so. Did you grow up with you to grow up with pecker nets?”

Mm-hm. I just worried that all flats fly around your dog's pecker. My grander. Look at where I'm pecker nets. You got a real thing that happened. Pecker nets. Oh, wow. Anyway. So these things light on what not only do they get on cattle, they get on deer and wildlife. No. Yeah. So they'll, if you're, well, your monitor, you know, if you're a cattle farmer, you're watching your herd a lot better. Yeah. But if you're a, if you have a big deer ranch, you can't really monitor your deer. So

you got to really, this is a, it's a bad thing. So what you got to do is you have to launch sterile flies into the environment that mate with the female flies. So the female flies will chill out. They don't hatch the eggs, don't hatch, and then they die. Damn. Throw it away. No. When you think about how it's so many like little edges of science have to use new world screw worm eradication relies primarily on the sterile insect technique,

which involves releasing millions of radiation sterilized male flies to mate with wild females and halt reproduction. That's the fact that we don't even know that that goes on. All the things that we don't even know that goes on, man. I'm just wondering if they're like, you start to wonder

say the price at beef gets too crazy because also I know that they don't have like a young herd of cattle. That's one of the problems they said. Well, I think drought, you know, there was a, there was a lot of, man, there was the one, there was the one time where all the, I think one thing that God has put behind was when a lot of the cattle was lost in the big freezes a couple years ago.

You'd think that would be fine. First of all, heat or freeze, it's ready to eat or it's,

“you can eat a later. That's how I feel like at the end of the year. Yeah. They died from,”

from cold weather. Yeah. Hundreds of thousands. Yeah. But I'm saying they're frozen. You can't, what's they dying? The field, you can't go out there and salvage it. Yeah, you can't go out. You can't. Well, guys, why, ask it why we're in the true cattle deficit right now. I mean, why we're in a great question. Yeah. Why are we? Why is it happening now? The U.S. is at historic is in a historic cattle deficit with herd sizes dropping to a 75 year low of roughly

86.2 million head primarily driven by years of severe drought, soaring operation across an aging, ranching workforce. Wow. Huh, prolonged dry spells across major cattle producing states, dried up water sources, urban sprawl and highland values have tempted older ranchers to sell property to developers rather than passing unprofitable operations down to younger generations.

“Huh, interesting. Man, I think, hopefully. Yeah. Thank you about all the stuff that”

do you remember like being a kid just been like, we're going to get new. You ever think about that was a kid like getting new by something, just getting nuclear warheads and stuff. I

remember just always been scared of like, did you? Yes. Trying to think what I was scared of,

probably. I was scared of like, we had a neighborhood kept burning down homes in our neighborhood. You know, we had wild my mother at thinking an attempt. So I wouldn't play in the yard a lot. She would tell me that there were packs of wild dogs that would roll through the front yard and eat me alive. I have to hear well. So she had early onset, but I'm going to play your mother. I mean, I mean, that's crazy. And like, about every month or two, you'd see a pack in the

cut, there they are, let's see. Oh, you remember, they're all hunting one hot dog from a one dog in heat. Oh, it ever just didn't. It wasn't wild dogs. It was just every dog that wasn't on a leash in Smithville, Georgia was just chasing the one hole. Yeah. And how many leashes do they haven't Smith

ville, Georgia? Yeah. That's amazing. Dude, well, I remember they just had wild dogs. And I was a kid.

They had a dog in the neighborhood. I remember the first time I saw a doberman pinch or dude and a rot wilder bro. Oh, not only. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't even do the rot wilder play tail back somewhere

“in our town. I think dude. They had some to him. I mean, some of the dogs were just wild when you were”

kid. Oh, that dog right there. God. Yeah. I mean, when you, I remember seeing them and just in the back of a pickup truck, just going like, what is that? What is that? And I don't want to, I don't want to do with that dude. Well, then everybody that owned them would brag about how it could crush a bowling ball with one bite. Hey, I'm so we had a guy killed his grandmother. And that, yeah, that was unfortunate. But yeah, it was a sketchy area. Not with the rot wilder. I did it. I mean,

I didn't want to talk about it, but it wasn't good. And she was our lunch lady, too. God, that was hard. Right. Sloppy Joe Day. Went south. Yeah. But my mom is, I mean, she's, my mom has like 500,000 Instagram followers. But I can see that my mom just three kids. Yeah, she's hilarious. We're living in a single wild trailer. She's tired. Her son won't go out and rot his tricycle down the dirt road. And she don't want to sit out there and watch him in the 85 degree, 95 degree.

Whether so what are you telling? Dangerous. I think the wild dogs. We're in a, we're in Devcom. We're in Devcom five right now for wild dogs. So, and you're going to have to. You got to wake to the coolest. Oh, my mom would, well, that, this is back when I was just talking to this here the week is back. And they used to have PDF files or whatever they had sent them to the door. You had a law. You had to say he was a PDF file. You know, is that PDF files? People will

bet or pet a file. Yeah, pity. Yeah, people say it different. PDF files bring it up.

malnourished. I thought you were so malnourished. They would drop PDF light off at your house.

Well, if you see an older dude just drinking PDF light, that dude is halfway there. That's all I'm telling you, because a PDF file often misspelled his PDF file. So, we out, we misspelled it. But also then we misspelled it. I'm fine with it. But anyway, this was the laws they had where you had to go door to door and say you were a PDF file. Remember? But our mom's all works. You can't say your PDF file. They had to. That's, you would admit to be in a pet a file.

They had to. If you moved to a new area, you had to go door to door in the neighborhood and let everybody know you lived in the neighborhood. If you were a pet a file. Yeah.

Oh, if you weren't with the fuck, why would you do it? I thought you were saying that

“that's crazy. I thought you would, I get it. It was like a judge order. Or did you have to go tell”

everybody about it. All right. So, these PDF files were coming to the door and it would be for us four kids standing there. And we go, he was like, I'm just letting y'all know. I'm a PDF file. I'm going to be like, put it in the stack. They had some damn. Do we play kickball with this one PDF file, didn't we mess with them? We'd be like, you ain't touching my ass and we just kicked that bitch, dude. Because once you know who it is, kind of the, you know, a little bit of this, you know,

you know whether to hang a right or left. Yes, you know what's going on. It's when the secret of surprise, when they don't have that surprise there, that's, you know, when they can't surprise you. Dude, we used to have a ham radio member that. Dude, and you talked to get that CB radio and just be talking to truckers. Somebody would come. Oh, somebody would come and make love to my neighbor and we go sit out in his car while he was in there. And we just sit on that on that CB radio,

talking to truckers, dude. And it's fine. That shit was, we had a good time, dude. Yeah, the job we would bill forks. We would take saplings and chop them off with a machete and haul 'em up the tree and make logs. But if we fell out of the tree, we would all, if we fell out of the tree, we would land on the saplings, y'all were doing some damn Vietnam shit. We would land,

“we could, could have landed on the saplings that we just, oh, really? Like, break your fall?”

You just would get in pailed. We never got in pailed, but it, it was a miracle.

It could have. We did. No, we had some dude had passed through town in Chilsville to set a tits into a tree bus and people would go out there and look at them. Where'd you stash your playboys? We would do, we just found them dug 'em up. I remember my brother had some stacked on the topest shelf they ever made in the whole world, doing not climbed up there one time, and I didn't know what was up there. They had colon, a little bit of booze, and then knewty mags, boy.

And I took a hit off all three, and I think I drank half that colon by the end of that night. I don't know what was going on, dude. I remember passing out and coming to, and the death, coming out, death, and the playboy mags. That's when society failed. I mean men started getting leg tattoos. That's when shit all fell apart. Yeah. I mean, if you couldn't ride your bike to the woods, hike one mile, and find your playboy was under a piece of old rustity, and it's

sit there and, yeah, sit there in nature. We had to fellow draw you a couture for the weekend for two-three dollars, this fellow Nick, and he passed away. We had swish your sweet stash with our playboy, so we'd come home smelling. God, we'd come home smelling, not like swish your sweet.

“God, dude, it was all left. All that stuff was being funded. What do they do now?”

I love nostalgia. I don't know what kids are doing now. I think it's just, well, everything's turning into robots now, dude. It's all changing, dude. But I wonder, if, if, if, was that thing, oh, I was going to say, if we did have to go to a rare meat, what would you go to, dude? Something that's not rare meat? Something that's not a meat yet. What you're going to get to? Not, like, tell me, not dear meat. Well, I think, tell me, say if beef gets too out there,

what do you, what do you think, what do we switch to? Squirrel, maybe? I've had Squirrel. We used to shoot squirrels. I mean, we pellet. Oh, yeah, bring it. Tell it gone. Squirrels, we had a little lady named Mabel Copswell. Mabel had a little nephew these to come into town. Chris, man, we get our pellet nuns. We shot about eight Squirrels one night. And she, we scanned them. And it's really weird when you scan a squirrel and then you're eating it.

Like 30 minutes later, it's the needs to be a little more.

And she put it on wild rice and I threw it up for nine hours. That night as a kid. And you think it was tainted meat? It was the last time I'd ate squirrel. Through, when you throw a raw squirrel, I'm not sure she cooked it all the way. It left a mark. And if you put any vinegar on it, that's how I like it. Vinegar, but squirrels are good.

“I think squirrel populations are, that's what I'm saying. They're thriving. That's what they're”

great. That's the damn branch cattle. You know what I'm saying? You see the images up there. Do you see 2,000 squirrels, dude? But dear man, how many squirrels were in the world right now? Bring that up squirrels in the world. There is no exact global count for all squirrels, but scientists estimate there are hundreds of millions to billions of individual squirrels worldwide. Boy, look, 100, 75 species of squirrels, ground squirrels, flying squirrels, and chipmunks. Yeah, fly right into

my mouth because it matches it good. Yeah. Dude, it wouldn't take long for us to get used to them. I could have some. I'm wearing them one, huh? Just marinade them on something different. So I could have put some of that Morton zone on baby. You know what else I'm making? Slow smoke them. Slow smoke them. Dude, what if dehydrated? Oh, if things got real bad. I cooked that bitch with a lighter, dude.

It was a damn candle. Now I'm bad and bad. Bad. The body works. Caramel candle. Oh, dude, I'll put that thing. Which is a Christmas cookie candle right under that bitch. Boy, God, that's a good way to do it. I'll tell you this and then people aren't going to want to hear it. I don't eat damn Scottish Terrier if I could. They're beautiful. Bring one up. Look how cute they are. And I'm saying only if things got real bad.

I'm not doing, I'm not running into a damn pet coin doing it. Scottish Terrier. Bring up the white one. I like the white ones. I'm open to whatever, but I grew up around a couple white ones. Look at him. You think that if he were real sick, yeah. And if he didn't mind, I'd have to get somebody like one of that doll whisper.

“Remember that girl? Well, so have you ever had helped me? I had rained here somewhere.”

That breaks your heart, but I've had a little. Do you like duck meat?

I've never had it on thing. Duck on down here and get some of this meat.

Ta-da! God! God, don't get out of it. That is a great. That's a duck hunting joke and I got your ass. Dude. That's fucking great. You started. That thing got set up 30 minutes ago. What? And you brought up meat, baby. I've been waiting 30 minutes to hit you with that shit.

We had to go through squirrel meats, Scottish Terrier meat. Help me. That's how I got to duck meat. You've been waiting, huh? It's awesome. God dang, that is good. Thank you. But dude, you need to get on the elk meat, man. I go elk hunting. You need to go on the elk hunt. You put it in your freezer.

So my wife, man. You know, most women don't think about, oh, I got a freezer full of elk meat. Well, in the first elk, I brought home. She, um, it was in the freezer and finally, man. She just, she goes out there and grabs it and you're liking it. And this is still at the horns in her, you're talking about it. It's all looks like ground beef. They process it. You know, if you're out in Colorado

and you kill an elk out there, you take it to the local process when they ship it to you. You'd love that, huh? I would mind trying it. So why are you, why are you so stressed about that you're stressed about this meat thing? Well, I just start to worry. Like, what if things get weird, like, you know what I'm saying? I want to have a strategy where things do get start to get kind of dystopian in the world. So what happened?

What percentage of, I've never had one of these with a good?

Yeah, it's great, man. Yeah. It's good stuff. What percentage? What is this, by the way? This is called. This will be the first one I've ever had. It's called Celsius. It's an energy drain. Is it going to make me say it's a lot of stuff I want to take back? Too late. Yeah. I mean, I'd say pecker nuts is one I want back. Oh, I did.

“Now that one's fine, I think, huh? Oh, it's good. Yeah, just what percent are we on the way there?”

It's like, it's like drinking vape. Have you started your, you have your doomsday bunker here? No, I don't have a bunker yet. I don't have a kind of, I don't know, that kind of loot. I got, uh, I got probably 11 bags of quick read in my yard right now. So I could fucking probably get behind that and I could build a, you could build your own little smoker with that

and hiding that baseball. They'll never find me in that bitch. Dude, if you get it,

here's what I'm saying. If you can't afford a bunker, just get you a big ass green watch paradise. I don't show paradise paradise. Yeah. Uh-huh. Well,

it's like a mixed like a thing they have at the gas station. I've ever bring up parrot ice.

Parrot ice. I'm talking about? Yeah. I like those. I used to like him anyway. I don't did they take out slush puppies? No, we had a bunch of y'all. God, remember slush puppies? God, they were good. Lemon lime, slush puppies. That's, I remember all of that shit.

“There's a slush puppy right? That's what you need to get tattooed on your leg. You”

think so? Oh, slush puppy. I'm not late. I got enough. No, I'm here now. How slush puppy the company doing? Yeah, bring them up. That's a good clip. We might ought to buy them. Dude, kick start that again. Make it a little healthier. These puppies ain't gonna slush themselves. I want you to kill me. So it's puppy is still in business, though, finding and ready to drink cup at a major US gas station or convenient store is much harder

than he used to be. The brand is owned by the ice corporation and its parent company, J. N. J. Snack Foods, damn. That's beautiful. Well, well, large chains have largely swapped them out for icees or slurpees. The official slush puppy sight notes the brand is still active. You can still find machines and surps and select independent locations. You've got a roller rinks. Convenient stores bowling out. Yeah, get slush puppy back and parks. That's not about idea.

I'll look in at that, man. Well, you remember little jerks? The little jerks? Uh, with the, they're about that big. They look like a grenade. There you go. Oh, yeah. I'm talking about sugar water. Yeah. When you got done with football practice and whichever mama brought you that, after football, man, you knew you needed to pass the hat around the toss. It was hurting, baby. It was hurting forever. I'm talking about, we don't know about

starfall cooler and the mama brought the little jerks. I mean, like, and what, and she had the Oreos cut in half. Yeah, you got to have Oreo. Yeah, dang, bro, that was it, dude. Little jerks. They were good, man. I miss that kind of stuff. I'm, yeah, I'm. So if it goes down, you just need to

“get into my house. That's what I need to do. If it goes down, because I got, we got the deer. We”

live off deer for a little bit. Yeah. When the new, I got my dude, I'll live over there. I mean, and I'll work for you guys, too. I'm happy to get do something. I did painting. I did siding for a little while. I did flooring. I'm not, I need temporary flooring. I need gutter work. I could do it. gutter work. Yeah, I could do it. If you let me do it really early in the morning, I'll be quiet. But I could definitely do it. Get up there for him and do it. What was your job? What was the

worst job you ever had? Me? My grandfather may be put lightning and rods on houses. The jaw

have lightning rods. Nice to count this lady's cat, so. And she had probably 50 cats, dude. Here's what

we did. It is. Oh, we're about forgot about this. We've had something wrong with her. God was trying to get her to come to him soon. And so we go get one cat. We'd run it in there and she'd give us a dime for it. And then we'd run in the other room and run back in with the same fucking cat. Do show it at saying cat. I bought my farm and that was a trailer on that a woman had. It's cat out of your cats. That's a smell. You don't forget. Dude, my friend, they didn't know, but their dog would

just go pee in a room in their house. And that was their gastronomy. I guess they never went in there.

“And I remember going to stay there and I walked in. And I like stepped on the carpet and just”

the dust of like the dog pissed dust. Just flew up out of there. It's like, go almost like when you see. No, it's not our immunities, our immune system from growing up. God. And but just strong. Dude, we used to we used to play under old houses and just dig in old house dirt and go look for

shit under houses. We, yeah, people would always tell us there was gold under people's houses and

shit like that. My dad made me clean out a grain bin elevator one time. Elevator? An elevator. So when you pull in, when you, let's just say you got a wagon big, you put corn on a big wagon and you dump it in a pit. Yeah. Well, you dump it in that elevator takes it up and dumps in a big warehouse. Well, we, we took ownership of a new, it wasn't of a, we started renting a warehouse to put peanuts in. All right. Well, to get the, to get it approved. So you could store peanuts.

You had to clean, well, for years, these farmers had just been using that elevator to offload wagons and put corn. Dude, my dad sent me down in that thing and it had about five years of soybeans, corn, peanuts and it would get if the elevator breaks, you got to be able to go down there

cats, some snakes. I got three quarters of the way down. It was straight maggots. Dang. And the only way

“to get it out is you had to shovel it in a fire galling bucket and the guy above you had to pull it”

up with the water and it's just hitting you. Man, I went to the local diner after cleaning that thing out. Clear the whole diner out there. People couldn't be in the room with me. It was in my skin. Some of that shit, I used to have to clean out like, uh, uh, it was like combat. I guess they would run the combat through. Right. And then they would just park it for the winter and a lot of, they'd have still have some corn in there. Right. And so some of the mice were getting

there and then the snakes would get in there, dude. And I'd have to get in and just clean it just

like pressure walls and just it man, but it was always always some crazy. It was usually like a

watermark. And since I, I guess it wasn't rattlesnakes, but we would pull rattlesnakes into our peanut wagons that would come into our peanut milk and climb over there. It was not it was. Those are the days, man. Damn. They were fun, but they were something else, dude. Did you

“um, I saw, uh, what was it going to ask you about? Oh, did you see those robot Olympics that happened?”

I saw them attempt attempting to run. Yeah. And I saw one of them went faster than the same bowl. Yeah, bring that up. But did it did it? I saw one fail. Would you, yeah, one fail? I'd get to see one like complete the drill. Look at that. Yeah, well they came. Also, they're, they're still only making the white ones right now. I do want to say that. So I think things will change a little bit. So this is real. Look at that. That's nice. What's

her name? Uh, this is the part that like the boxing, I don't really know. This is crazy. But

here's what I think's going to happen, man. I think we get to this place where

is it called singularity, ain't that the term? Well, it's just like the tech lords and stuff. They're going to start. These will all be competing for them. So they, I'm just saying, they won't need us anymore. What, what will we do? Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Hey, bro. Look at that. Bro, that looks like an owl trying to get on from a bad date, bro. Oh, without his skirt. Oh, she went down. So this isn't China, though. Yeah, but you know,

it's coming here. But dude, I'll tell you this. One of those little dinkies robot, you get me a big diesel powered robot from Kentucky. Some name rustier something. You know, saying you get that bitch out. Look at that. Dang, that's wild though. That's five years that thing won't be falling in sparking. No, things going to be cooking. But I just wonder what will it be like when you get one of those and that things doing all the, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just wonder if that's like what

it's really light. If it's that closer around the corner, I wouldn't marry a robot, I don't think it's big in China. Is he seen in latex ones and sent that? Oh, I don't want all that. I don't want a way. I don't know. I guess. I don't know if she sleeps real heavy or a program or do that pre-nup that weekly pre-nup where you're robot? I don't know if she sleeps real heavy. Dude, I just thought, yeah, I haven't my mom's actually visiting right now, dude. Yeah, so Theo goes,

yeah, man, I want you to meet my mom. She goes, oh, she's sunbathe and I'm like, Anne? It's time to meet her, right? Shit, I was ready to sleep. I was ready to sleep, so I'll make it have a man. Sunbathe.

“They're just cooking. Oh, and ain't no clouds in Nashville today. I think she's out there. Dude,”

we should be growing up. I probably put the damn, just come and roll in with the Johnson and Johnson baby old. None of this damn, no SPF. When she out there cooking for getting her vitamin D up? Yeah, she just trying to stay active. Dude, she just at that age. She just told me the other day that she used to be native American. So I'm like, oh, shit, she's starting to lose her mind a little bit because that's older. She's 77, man. Yeah, she's same age as mine. Is she? Mine was born in 47.

No, mom was 79, be 79 in October. Yeah, she's good. What keeps her the most healthy you think? You know, she, man, I think what keeps her the most healthy is she's, she's, she's, her weight's really good. Um, and man, you know what's funny. She's got a little house down in Mexico Beach Florida. She wants me to put her elevator in. And I'm like, I'm not putting your elevator in because I think going up down hurt her house is pretty close to the beach. So they

coming up down. Yeah. Steps all day. There she is. That's, that's her back portrait there. She looks

good. Who's that with her? That's all, that's all. That's the old, uh, that's all bank rolled daddy right there. Damn. Somebody's got to do it. Hey, man, it's all, but, man, that's a, she looks

“happy. Oh, that's what you did. That's me. Oh, I mean, I'm not even joking. I can tell that. That's”

so. Oh, that's nice, dude. That's a tough woman. Yeah. A man, man. She, uh, two packs of salams every day. Hell, yeah. Four butlites. She has calm down on beers. She drinks her two odules. Oh, she is. She's pushing that bitch. Is that a dison? She's pushing that bitch. Yeah, I guess I bought that last week. Oh, she don't even call me to buy that. She just

goes straight to my business managers assist. God, that's how they start cutting corners.

Dude, that's beautiful, man. Yeah, my, my parents, they, they pray on the weakest link in my global world. So you mean, well, like if there's a new hire, right? Let's just say we hire somebody. All right. They come out on the road and they're like, hey, we just hired Casey. My dad's like, Casey, what are you doing around here? Man, I, I, I, I do the ice. I need your nub. I'm like, oh, shit. They're saying, no, Casey's coming to me. Hey, your dad called me for five

tickets. He said he couldn't get nobody on the phone. Because anyway, they just goes down the down the chain. They just get them a new number. If they can get a number to get to me, baby.

Oh, this will make it easier. Yeah. Dude, I don't like, so my mama would call me and be like,

I need some flowers from those. Yeah. And I'd be like, well, you just got something last, what, we're not, she just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just cutting around, cutting around. Now, see, she got a new lime green electric in her grass. He didn't look like she had no grass. Dude, I'll tell you this. It's a little wild turnips. They ended lines. It's either not grow it or she just cut it again yesterday. Just don't even tell her, yeah, that's

not grass, man. No, that's like, that's like damn. Let us. Yeah. And she got luck. That's like butter. What's that butter lettuce? Oh, yeah, that's good. Dude, we just went on damn road trip last week, did I ship you and your mama? No, me and freaking, uh, me and some of my friends, where we went at running one of those cruise America campers. You ever went to one of those? Just went to run up there and got one off line. We got in like a big one, but my buddy and that was

license when he went to get it or whatever, uh, his driver's license, so they wouldn't give it to us or whatever. So dude, we got this cruise America thing. Bro, it was like driving a damn open toolbox, dude. It was bang. Every, every bump you would have bang. We were all huddled up in the front of it, bro, because if you were in the back, like everything was flying. How cool. You look like popcorn flying? Oh, dude. It was like, so you're not going to get a cruise America endorsement after

this. No, bro. And they know what's up, dude. That's us right in it right there, bro. We took

“that bitch. That is like the poster child of it. What was that bad boy, that a day?”

Probably 14, 14, 99, maybe not. How far did y'all take it? Now is that y'all or is that just online? That's true. My buddy's right there. And what's our buddy, Bizzle and Z, that we all went out. We went out to that field of dreams baseball game out there. Was that awesome? It was cool, man. But how long was it? When you sleep the price? Could you not enjoy it? Because you were sleeping the price? Oh, dude. It was like my buddy texted me yesterday. He's like, hey, if you forget what it was

like in there, just go slam your head into an open silver red drawer for that bitch. Bro, it was your old bro. Who drove? All of us did, dude. No one slept? No, we ended up just getting to people's houses and staying there and sometimes we'd sleep in it and then we'd stay with friends. Are they going to do that game every year? Is that field of dreams game? It's annual?

“I think so. They taken two years off, but now it's back. They actually built, so they don't play”

the game on the actual field in the movie. They have the movie set that's there. They built another field back behind it through the corn. So it's kind of the capacity of it. About 6,000? Was it worth it? It's cool. Yeah. It was actually man. We had a nice time, dude. It was a good experience. Bro, you're standing there and they had probably 30 Hall of Famers that were there and so all of them just killed you hit the corn maze? No, they said it was overpopulated. Or when some kind of

thick kid had went missing in that bitch, said it was locking it down. Oh, I got it. That's probably what a beef prices are screwed at making cornmases. Hey, that's a good point. When y'all's coming around fucking making puzzles out of your crop, things are going to get better.

went there and then we went ATV and that was good. What Pennelly, you know him? I don't like Pennelly, he's a friends with Jimmy John and some of those guy. I hadn't met him or boy. That's us. We were right there. That's y'all, how long y'all, how long was the trip? Probably one week. They man, you know, back in COVID, I did 13 straight days with the boys on my tour bus. It's just the best. Oh, yeah, so much

“fun man. You know, I think you could probably afford one of those. What a tour bus? Yeah. The problem”

is you got to who's the driver? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I couldn't, I couldn't mentally manage a big vehicle like that. What happened there? At Bang Flip or something, some bit of technical issue on that bitch. But it was good man. We enjoyed it. Did you go to ATV Park? No, my buddy built a track out and like, uh, Marcelus Michigan and we drove out there. We drove to Chicago to interview Billy Strings.

He was up there. He's amazing. I saw that dude. He's amazing. He's, he's, it's just amazing. Dude,

his still, I like, yeah, I didn't see where you brought a good tar in for me to play like, you know. I didn't think about that either. I know you can play. The bed didn't he? Was it a new song he played you on there? Yeah. God. It was good. He's great man. Watching him and just talking with him about how training is parenting is just about everything in his life. Bro, he just had such a wild to survive. Dude, was, oh, when, when Raleigh Greenen was on, he was talking about your song. Technically,

do the song again that everybody keeps talking about. It's called smoke fish golf hunt drink fish golf hunt drink. Yeah. I know I've heard this song, but I just forget about because it became like this

internet piece of lore or whatever. Trace I always always talking about. Trace is always talking

“about it. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, we wrote it and I think, I mean, you know, it just started”

this, this, you know, this whole narrative got started that I mean, that's the best of crazy thing about where we're at with social. They started a narrative that we aid at it. Yeah. And then whether you like the song or not, whether you like me as an artist, whether you like what I'm about or whatever. Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, we're all learning that I mean, I can't do anything to them. I mean, back when I wore tight jeans, which wasn't, then I was the tight

jeans guy. And he got through all these phases. Well, I don't wear tight jeans anymore. Now, I'm the guy that somebody said that I ate out of song and wrote it. It's fun song and managed. Well, Raleigh got involved because Raleigh, I text Raleigh that Raleigh goes, hey, man, let's get together. And I said, hell, yeah, I said, fish golf hunt, drink, etc. Yeah. And then we wrote the damn song. Oh, you know, really did write it together. No, Raleigh didn't write it with me. Oh,

bad. Well, then I told the world that Raleigh, well, the damn thing got so much negativity didn't Raleigh was being funny that he didn't want to be, don't associate me with that. Oh, I wonder what he said. But yeah, because I didn't understand it. You know, the song, I, you know, we featured it as a, like an early release on the album. And man, you know, the fact that we featured it in younger kids called it a single, then man, it got, it got off.

Like, right when it came out, you know, you get one or two kids with a bunch of Instagram or a bunch of followers that say we ate out it. And then the whole world, like goes on their narrative. But they also go listen to it. They go listen to it. But then it started. It starts like,

“but I don't think people think you really ate. I did. I mean, I think there's like, I don't know.”

I think a lot of people would do once it started, once they started that chatter, yeah,

it started. I mean, it was pretty crazy. I think that, I, yeah, I know, I never

aggressive that because I, I saw that stuff. And, but then it led me to go listen to the song, you know, at least, right? But then it makes, it was making guys like, like, they're at a camera going, I hate you. Like, they're looking in the camera. I think it's just, and they're like, I hate you. And I'm like, I'm watching it. And I'm like, I can see your face. Like, if I see you one day, I'm going to f***ing not the shit out of you. Dude, I'll f***ing eat somebody's ears off their

dick or face, I mean. But yeah, bro, that's it. I'm like, people are lost their minds. I mean, I get like, I hate you. Yeah, choke on your own vomit. Don't your sleep. But these cats are saying it. But I don't think they, I think it's all part of like, it's kind of, this is interesting. It's actually almost should be like a case that I feel like, because it's kind of interesting. Like,

involved. But I know. I think sometimes it's just some of people to get involved in that day, right?

“Because I think you have to start to think of like, or I start to think of it like this. Like,”

we used to get involved in things socially like amongst each other. But that doesn't really happen anymore as much. So now a way to get involved in something is to create some angle or have something to say about something and just put it out there, right? Like, I think it's funny that then you have to wrap your head around the idea that you're happy that everybody is being this way, because it's getting more notoriety. But then I'm like, well, wait, I'm not sure. I'm happy about

a bunch of teenagers telling a 50-year-old man he's a piece of shit. Some writer. But that's

what I mean, I'm like, New Jersey's 16. You're talking to a grown man that's made a shit ton of money

doing this. But that's what they're going to do anyway. I know, but it's just so, like, it's so far out there. I'm like, if I call my kids doing some stuff like that, I would kill them. I don't think, right, but I think real conference or real fans of your music is done. This is what I know. Like, they're not fucking, man. I went down to, I went down to, and who gives it? When I went down to watch Bose game, they were playing that song on the speaker at the football game,

having a blast with it. So, man, as long as I'm writing songs, like, man, these people feel fault. When I wrote Clime Tree, that I wake up, coffee, camera, put on camera. Yeah. And I go

Clime a tree like Clime Tree. The nearest tree. Yeah. Like, they're not understanding.

So, I think I don't, they, they think that I'm out there climbing. Like, I'm bear hugging a pine tree and climbing doesn't it? And those are people that people are not doing well.

“People are not doing well, Lou. That's what I'm saying. I did, but I do. So, look,”

like, so Bose highlights. My son's football highlights the role of something. And then I'll look, come on. Clime Tree. Yeah. That's okay. Good. Like, it's idiot. So, Clime, like, that's my leg tattoo. Clime tree. That's good, bro. Dude, I think just anything that has like, people are screaming. Oh, they're just, I get it, but I'm just like, it's still, it's still, it's like, well, it's like, people, like, you want to know why, like, I'm worried about

why it's that way. Like, you're worried about beef prices. Yeah. Like, I'm worried about why that this many people are that way about me, like, in everybody, like, why are they that way? I think it's just fun. I think people are just clown right here. Who were you chill on the Adderall, Luke Bryan responds to video saying his new song sounds like it was written by a four-year-old using AI. I think it's all, I think it's all just kind of fun in games, man. Yeah. I don't think

people read, I think a lot of it is. It's just like this new way of communication and it's like, uh, it's just like, it adds just lore to the whole thing kind of, that's what I feel like. I know, I mean, listen, I mean, you, you got to figure out, I, I, I've, I've really had a long career. Oh, you have a lot of people doing that. I mean, when Country Girl Shaker from me came out, there were people that they couldn't handle it, couldn't handle it. Why? Because they didn't want the

women shaking it or whatever. They just didn't want it. They didn't want it. They didn't want it. They've been shaking it anyway. I mean, yeah, my mother and my parents were getting drunk,

“listening to Clarence Carter stroking in the house. Do you remember that? Well, yeah,”

man, until you watch your parents sink stroking in the house. What I'll be doing, be stroking, remember that? That was a night. And then they would play male McDaniel, Louisiana Saturday night, right after that. And then you get down a boat. So, it's back to it. So, I was like, yeah, I mean, so that kind of stuff's been going on. Yeah. But then, like, I almost think that, I mean, I don't know. You just want people to graduate from. But I have to get like,

yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's just fun. What are people messing about the song? Yes, it's just that it's just a fun song. It's just a silly song. Who cares? Right. Right. I mean, I can't, what am I supposed to sing every, like, what song would you want me to sing every time? Well, most people, those people would be like, we want you to die. Yeah. Like, we want you to get hit in the throat by an errand fastball at the field of dreams when you go with the old next year.

I read, I mean, I read that as a key word according to Garp was like, one of the first of all.

“So, yeah, I read that. But yeah, Simon. I loved prayer for Owen Meaney. Prayer for Owen Meaney.”

Dude, that's fun. I read it another. I got into a couple John Irving books. He's put when I read a prayer for Owen Meaney. I was like, that is the greatest book I've ever read. It was because we had to read all the other shit that the school's going to read. But man, when I read that, like,

I never even got that. What was catcher in the right? I don't even know. I don't even know.

And that was part of that thing. Field of dreams. You're going to be part of it. But dude, yeah, a prayer for Owen Meaney was a great book, man. And the movie's not that bad. Jim carries in it. People say about that. He's kind of in the beginning of the movie. But yeah, that was so good. It's so funny. You said that, man. Dude, I have a

“I heard a rumor. This is a rumor that rumor that I heard that Jason Aldeen said you only have one”

American flag in your yard. And then it was made in China. Oh, God. Is that true? That is not true. We, uh, we're all square. We're square in the American flag world. Dude, man. Because he said you only had one in that big old yard. When did he say that? Just telling you what I heard. Now, Jason and I will have our cross to bear when I see Jason. Yeah, we're, me and, you know, we, uh, now that you say that I do need to count up my American flags. Maybe I need to put a few more

out. Like that's all I'm saying, dude, just get a couple. Where are yours? We got a couple out. We got at least two. We got four in the back. I got you around the fire pit. Uh, I just got the blocking your mom's son by either right now. David, she's taking it down. Oh, she had real small breasts. I was breastfed on a small tip.

And I don't know if you ever been through that, but you never get you never

you never escape that catch up. Oh, you never. Oh, it's never, never enough in my mouth. You know,

“just, that's how it was, dude. If you're breastfed on a damn makeup, is this, you can never,”

you never get what you need to be. Um, I wanted to ask you a, I wanted to ask you about something. It's just about parenting. So I heard that you had taken, you took over helping your sister's children. Is that a story? Yeah. So my sister and I'm not trying to, like, not just, I just want to know, like, about like, what's it like when you take over, like, to help out with somebody else's kids? And what is that kind of, like, responsibility feel like? And then what does it feel like with

her, like, in relationship to, uh, like, yeah, just as, like, as your family continues on, kind of, some of that. Man, you know, with, with my sister passed in a way and then her husband, they had three kids. And they passed away at different times, which was, man, I don't know, I don't know if it's better if they go at the same time or not, you know, you tell them about these these, my sister and her husband were lifelong partners from high school. He was, he was my, damn hero, you know, and my brother.

So my sister went past the way at home and then he had, like, the massive widow, make her heart attack. Well, they had, um, that three beautiful children, two girls and, um, a son, a Jordan, Chris, and Tiel, Tielden. Well, Tiel was 13 and he kind of, he says, he goes, uh, we kind of sat down as a big family, extended family, because they, uh, my, my brother and law's family, they, we'd all been in each other's world from, since day one and for a long time. God, very tight,

even when, uh, you know, even when my sister passed away, we were like, we were unsettled on Thanksgiving and we would go to my brother and law's parents house for Thanksgiving. Wow. So they were our damn, I mean, we were all tied. So we all sat down until my nephew goes, I want to come live with y'all, which was just, I mean, man, we had, uh, we had, uh, I guess, tape was four, four, six, four and maybe seven and then 13. And so my, my two boys got an older brother,

like that. Wow. And so he's 13. The girls were still in Georgia and they were, uh,

Jordan was in her first year of college and then our middle niece, Chris, she was in her

midway through her junior year of high school. He stayed there. So she stayed there, no reason to uproot her until came to live with us. And so, you know, man, we wake up and we're retrofitting, uh,

the bedroom and man, you know, it was a lot. You know, he, he's a 13 year old kid that,

“yes, something got a teenager. We had a teenager and man, we've got to deal with, you know,”

we're, we're dealing with a new kid, but man, we're dealing with a kid that don't understand that doesn't understand why life has went this way. And we're dealing with two other kids at a long distance. So man, you know, we've just been in, uh, you know, it's just kind of what you do and you learn as you go. And now, you know, fast forward, uh, the oldest Jordan, she's got two beautiful little boys. I mean, man, they're, you know, I'm gonna treat them a lot in my grant,

they're my grand babies and then the middle girl, Chris, she's getting married in December.

Oh, no. So we'll, you know, we're, she's getting married until my nephew, he's 24 and man,

he's my damn dude. I mean, like, yeah, like we write, he comes to the house. We like get on a players and go right around and have a beer in the evening. And so, you know, and, you know, I look at, you know, when you look at what my wife got, I mean, my wife went from two boys, which, I mean, you know, my wife went from managing two boys to like having two older girls that she's trying to fit in their lives. Well, she's, she's on the phone with them and, man, they're talking

boys, they're talking. I mean, they're talking, what do I do with this boy? What do I do with clothes? What

“I do with college, man? I mean, I remember she'd be on the phone for hours. One of them would break”

up, one on big crime, one on this, and you know, so it was really honored that we had them to turn to. And then they had a support group down and we also had a support group down there. But man, when I look at how those kids of none of them have wound up with any serious like stuff that

we've ever had to be like, yeah, get your shit together. You know, we've never had to do one of those.

We just have to try to make sure they, they get the most out of life and, and understand, they got delta, you know, they got delta weird unfortunate set of circumstances. And then, you know, as I've told my story through the years, I mean, man, I'll come up and they'll be families that if they lost five people in a car, I mean, you know, you can always create a narrative where you got it bad, but then you can go dig deep and you can find some other people that

that that have had unfortunate. Oh, yeah, there's always somebody to be thankful in spaces, you know, Dolly Pardon passed away. Look at the life she lived 80 years old and, you know, she just lost her long time husband, you know, heck, she probably was lost since then. I'm not trying to be. Yeah, I'm sure. But you know, everybody's life, I tell people and you've, you've already lived, I mean, just know in your story, I mean, you've already lived through a lot with,

yeah, personal stuff that you conquered and stuff, man, and the beauty of your story is you've told everybody that. So when people start, when people start going, man, I'm having a rough patch, but I remember when Theo Vaughn said this, this is, you know, you can help people out just by telling your story and then not feeling like they're alone. And I feel like when people hear about me losing

“people in an unfortunate way, you know, it can help them in the long run. I think transparency,”

I think, you know, you know, the deal. I mean, every day you try to be only one trapped in something, you know, everybody's going through things. Yeah, you try to share what you can from it, to help yourself and help others. It's not like you're trying to help others, but just, yeah, you try and, yeah, we're all just trying our best to be alive, you know? Well, and I see, you know, like, God, man, I mean, I'm not worth, like, you're worth, we're talking about beef prices

and stuff. But man, when I see, I mean, you just, just see all the stuff going on where different groups and cultures in this country are against each other. Man, it just breaks my heart. I don't know, I wish, wish there was a easy fix to make everybody just be like, yeah, it seems like we should get out. Yeah. Extreme on any side is just not good in my opinion. What does it, as people on the planet, it's just even a being of God, it's feeling like we should all kind of be able to figure

this out, you know? All we got to do is just eat, drink, be alive, you know. And then just cut people some slack and golf, or just go hug it, can't you go hug a tree and get the frequencies,

Wait, is it? What is it? I think it's vape, Jim. Wake up. You're vaping before you wake up. Yeah,

vape up, vape up, Jim, time, cry, uh, cry, what kind of cries that are they, uh, nothing heavy. Like cry. Yeah. So vape up, Jim, time, cry, light, cry, light. What was the last one? Think. Probably because I just enough thinking a lot. Right. I probably put, pray. Pray more. There we go. See, shoulda had you in the room. I don't know, dude. I don't think anybody could have saved vape up. Oh, yeah, vape up, vape up, Jim, time, light cry, light cry, pray more.

What's not bad, man? It's not a better. You know what? I kind of, we need to have everybody do their

“four and submit them. People should, now here's what you should do. Now you take the song and you”

do create some sort of a play. Hey, I think we're everybody getting going there. Some things about their life in and now it can make my voice. Yeah. Can do it. Make it for them. That's exactly what we need. Dude, thanks for the chat today, dude. And thanks for this, the laughter brought. I like you are hilarious, dude. Well, listen, I can't. Yeah, it's the first time I've done this with you. And so it took me a little bit to settle in. I mean, it's funny. On podcasts historically, man, I had to settle a

little bit. Like it's a, it's a, it's a different thing with me because like you've got to understand the, like I've watched your stuff through all the clips and stuff. So it's like it's so weird to come in and it just starts settling, settling, settling, then you're like, okay, we're in it now. Now we can start busting each other's balls a little bit. Yeah. But, but you are just so funny. I'm

going to fashing your hilarious, dude. You're hilarious, bro. People always say, dude, you have, you

“have me rolling, bro. I think you probably could have been a good comedian, man, if you had wanted to do”

it. You know, I thought about, you know, I've got a little file in my phone and I've written some funny stuff, but then, man, you don't want to go up there, not be, and then it's not, it's not, how do you, I need to be in fine, I think. I think, you know, what's fun is when I did Vegas. Yeah. By that time of the show, I'd had a drink or two. Oh, I'm on the piano. And, man, what's I do get a drink and I can interact with fans on the piano. Man, I could start really having fun.

I think I think down the road, I'd love to do that vibe in Vegas. I walk out. Oh, I like that. Walk out, have a guitar, piano. Just enjoy. Well, I mean, because not, man, nothing makes me happier than people. I freaking love people. Like people fascinate. Yeah. And it's fun. Well, it's what we're here for. You know, is it get to be around other people when some of them are pervert or whatever, but the rest of them. Yeah. And even some of the pervert, some family. But like, were you ever like when somebody was so

mean to you still wanted, they were mean to you, but you still want to figure out what you can crack them. Yeah. Like, why can I do to make? Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely fun. Yeah. Like, I think, yeah, being engaged when you're in a good mood and you get out there and you're in engaged. You're engaged in what's going on in the show. It's a blast, man. I think you could have done it. I think he's still good, man. And also, I feel like a Vegas type of show where you just

“interact and with him. It's a perfect name. That's what I do. That's the way to do it.”

You have a new album that's coming out. It's coming out September 18th. Yes. Science and wake up, coffee, climb tree, light, gym, pray more. That's on there. The the of the the of version. Yep. We could do a thought. We could do an a cloud log in, a, put yours in there. Yeah. Yeah. It comes out September 18th. Is that you in that orange shirt? That's me, baby. I'll polish stuff. That don't even look like you. What does it look like?

The o Dammit. Somebody else. I think are you sure that that's it. It is.

Yeah. Oh, he finally admits it. Yeah.

Look, Ryan. Science. Now that you on the right me. See, that's all. They didn't get all the wrinkles out of my damn face. What the hell? Look at that left by set. That thing's popping. That thing's, damn I think it is popping boy. God, I like women. But Luke Ryan signs, man. We'll make sure to tell him. Well, thank you. I'm glad I finally got in here. We didn't will. Yeah. I've got to come up and fish again. I mean, I'll come as it's hopefully next two weeks.

It'll start to chill out. Yeah. When it gets, it gets a little cooler. They'll bite better. And man, like I said, you got to get you out of kindergarten. We're getting you.

Chicken liver is a Mac nuggets. And these two. There's no, uh, there's no catfish in my pond. Really?

You get fish on these, though. Fish on him, fish on me out there. Seal. Seal. Seal. I need a new sponsor.

“I bet they would work with you. Pay from my fish bill. You need to go to my”

lake stance out there. I'll go wherever, man. I just don't have nowhere to fish. We just have,

I like, um, I just want to anywhere to fish right around here. Exactly. But yeah, I'd be about an hour from here. But down by home, all but you. So he runs so damn. You run so high strong. We got to get

“you in the, in the woo saw. Just get down there. So I won't dedicate because you're so big. I get it.”

But you, you're like me, you fish like me when I used to get off the road. And I would feel

guilty that I'm fishing and I'm not with my boys. So I would go down there and I'd be like, I got a fish. I got a fish. I got a fish. I got a fish. I got a fish. And then I'm like, so you just need to, you just need to plan a day. But you like, you know what? This is my day. And I'm on fish. And I'm not going to feel like I got to get on the phone at three, four, zoom call. Hey, man. But you just need to come out. Splat. And just let it woo saw. Dang, I didn't let you

“it woo saw did. I'll get him. Yeah, dude. I got it. I wasn't enough. Oh, yeah. What is he doing?”

Yeah. He got to get some of that fish. I don't know what it is. Like CPR. That's CPR when you're buddy. When you live alone. I think that man, he was kind of a stuff. Oh, man. Luke Brian, thanks so much. Thank you. I appreciate you, bro. Uh, congrats on the new album. Thank you. And uh, yeah, thanks for being, uh, yeah. Thanks for, and thanks for letting me go fish. I appreciate it any time. Amen. Whatever gets you decompressed big dog, let's get it. Thanks, dude. Now I'm just

focused on the breathing. And I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. But when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mine. I found I can see it in my bones. But it's going to take.