Lois Brady: Publishing Autism Digest and Exploring Real Stories and Experiences

Meantour, broadcasting from the Heart of Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee.

“Join us as our guest share their raw, powerful stories, some will spark laughter, others will”

move you to tears.

These real life journeys inspire, connect and remind you that you're never alone.

We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance and profound understanding of autism and mental health, tune in, be inspired and join us in transforming the world one story at a time. Hi, I'm Tony Meantour. Welcome to Why Not Me Embracing Autism and Mental Health worldwide.

Before we jump in, if you haven't already, I invite you to tap Follow. It only takes a couple of seconds and it helps us show reach more families who need to hear these conversations. Thanks for being here. Joining us today is Lois Brady.

“She's the publisher of Autism Digest, a publication dedicated to sharing knowledge, resources,”

and real life experiences from across the autistic community.

Through her work, she's helped create a platform where information meets real experience, helping families better understand autism while giving a voice to those who are navigating it daily. Her work continues to help shape conversation around understanding, inclusion, and support for individuals and families worldwide.

Today we're going to talk about the evolving conversation around autism, the importance of sharing real stories, and how platforms like autism digest, help bring those voices to the forefront. We've got a great conversation coming, so before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors.

Thanks for joining us today. Yeah, no problem. Be fun. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. You publish the Autism Digest, for those that may not be aware of it, can you share a

little bit about the magazine? I do Tony, I am the publisher of Autism Digest, which came about to me in kind of an odd way. I'm a language pathologist by trade.

When technology first came out specifically like the iPad, when Steve Jobs stood up

on the stage and announced the iPad, it's almost instant, I realized that that could be a great tool for people with autism, so I got one, and I started researching, and I wrote the book Apps for Autism. So of course, at that moment, you become the expert, now I'm a speech-language pathologist and a technology expert, and I started writing for, at that time it was Autism Asperger's

Digest. I've written a book for Future Horizons, which at that time published also Autism Asperger's Digest. There are in Texas, and they were a family-owned company, publishing company, and I really liked them, so when they were getting ready to sell it, they asked me, and I'm like, "Oh,

my gosh, no, I'm too busy," but, "Oh, my gosh, that's so tempting." That's incredibly tempting. I'm going to go ahead and take it on, and I did, and I love it, it's a great way to kind of get all the experience that I have in my 30 years of being a speech-language pathologist plus knowing all the experts in the field and all the parents and just meeting and working

with probably tens of thousands of families to take that experience and to give people good information, not just information, because there's a ton out there, Tony. You know, you're in the business, and everybody has information, but I feel that I'm in a particular position where I can actually pick out what's the greatest information. And entertain people as well. I put in, like, QR codes, where you can go to movies, or go

to videos, and I'm trying to make it more of just absorbing information, but kind of like submersing yourself into the information, multi-modality. That's kind of where we are now, and I'm really proud of it. Had it for almost two years.

“I'm right there with you. You should be proud of it. Tell us, what inspired your passion for this?”

Um, originally, Tony, I just don't know. I used to go to, oh my gosh, this is going to age me, but it was called the Stopton State Hospital. Okay. What you're then turned into developmental centers and now have been kind of dissolved and volunteer. And I love, love, love working there from that experience. I thought I was going to go into teaching deaf kids, and I learned sign language, and then autism became a thing. And it was so different at the time. This is like 30 years ago.

took the deep dive of. Oh my gosh. Okay. Time to figure it out. Now, you being the mother of an autistic son, how did that change your perspective on what you had

“planned on doing? And then ultimately, how did it change on what you did do moving forward?”

As a mom? Yeah. As a career. Well, let's do both, but let's start out with the mom first.

On the mom, well, you know, it completely changes your whole perspective. Now, there's that moment where you've had this son. It was my first son. And he's, you have all these plans. Everyone does. And then there's that second where you look into his eyes, and you're like, something's wrong. Something's not right. I got to figure it out. And you start digging and working and digging. And then it was over 30 years ago, Tony. This is 32 years ago,

and I took him to his pediatrician. Oh, he's just a boy. And I'm like, no, he's not just a boy. There's actually things he's doing. I'm a speech-language pathologist. I know what just boys are. No way, behavior that's not quite in the norm is too. He's he's not doing things

“typical boys do. But I got brushed off brushed off. And I think, unfortunately, parents still”

do get brushed off. I mean, I was speaking with a mom who had a young little girl, two years old, just the other day, Tony, and she was telling me that one of her providers from a state organization, I'm not going to say the one, talk where not to even get them checked and tell this little girl's three years old. Don't even worry about it. She'll grow out of it. Wow.

This was just the other day. And I go, oh my gosh. That's amazing. Yeah. In the middle of California,

where you think, you know, there's a lot of information here. We're very progressive cutting edge. And here, this is still happening. Yeah. Yeah. Back then, so, of course, my aim changed. I was up. And I hear this story over and over again all night long. On the computer, figuring out what to do, where do you think I'm, what my best choice is worth. Right. And I have to say, unfortunately, as a therapist working in the school districts, I knew, and this is going to be

controversial, that that was not my option. Sure. Giving him over to the special ed system, making him worse and just create conflict and, you know, so I didn't. Yeah. I did not even have

him labeled ever. You know, it's a parent's choice. I hear people say it's good. People say not to,

it was my personal choice not to have him labeled in to just send him through school. Sure. So, what were some of the things you started noticing that didn't quite seem typical compared to the other children, his age? Yeah. Yeah. This lining up is little cars. Okay. You know, not able to stay. He was verbal. So, all right. That part was, you know, a blessing. And he was one of the hyperverbal kids who would fixate. Yeah. They'd on his little cars. And by the time he was,

I don't know, three, he knew the name of every piece of heavy equipment. Yeah. Where was going? Right. So he was one of one of those guys and just unusual physical movements besides the stemming. Sure.

“Kind of a robotic gate. Unable to fake friends. Yeah. A little bit of head banging. Where is he today?”

Today he's grown up. He's in construction. He has a car. He has a car. He drives. Nice. You know, he lives on his own. Okay. He still has significant trouble with the friendship stuff. Right. You know, reading other people, the whole dating and opposite sex thing is still very mysterious to him. That's understanding. So yeah, but he's functioning. He's out there. I'm telling you the Tony was a lot of work on parents part. Sure. And from what I've seen through all my career,

if there is that person, that parent, that one whoever it is who does not give up and stays there, the child usually does very well. Building that kind of bond and relationship takes a lot of work and understanding. You mentioned earlier that just a few days ago, someone told you don't do it, which is pretty surprising. When you think back 25, 30 years ago, how have you seen the understanding and diagnosis of autism change compared to what it is today? Yeah. For the most part,

that's rare that I see and hear that. That's a little scary, a little rare. But now we have technology. Yeah, that's so true. I'm even creating tools for early intervention. That's great. Early diagnosis. Like me, I saw something that was different in my child. Something that was wrong. Yeah. At the time, there was no autism. We didn't even learn autism in school. We had one half an hour lecture on autism. You know, we all kind of like took notes and then it was gone. Yeah. So when I saw him,

That's interesting. You mentioned that. A speech therapist who inspired me to start this podcast

once told me that during her four years of college, she only had a small portion of one semester that focused on autism. Now, fast forward, 20, 30 years, there are entire courses and programs dedicated to it. With that kind of progress, what innovations or research do you think are most important for us to focus on moving forward? You know, and I've written about this several times

“in autism digest. I think we have, and I don't know if you, you know, the rules and all affect.”

We have that for our kids with autism. And I think in the schools, it's super pervasive. I think even parents have it to a certain degree because I'm trying to coach them and talk to them. And

they, you know, parents are over helpers. It's like, you know, I have people writing in my magazine

who are non-speakers. Teach these kids to type. Teach them how that's their mode of expression. Many of my people on the autism spectrum, if they're going to communicate, it's going to be typing, talking, and gestures, and some kind of, um, medical, idiosyncratic language. But they can learn to type. Teach them to type. Oh my goodness, that is what I found to be a huge key. But now I run into the Rosenthal effect where people are assuming already that these kids,

they can't talk. Well, how in the heck can they type? What's that? And if they're being, you know, if they're stimming or humming or whatever it is, they are, people almost all the time say they're also developmentally disabled. And so until they can talk, why in the heck would I even teach them how to type? So that's my, you know, that would be my key. Don't put limits on them. Teach them, you know, real life things. You know, you see these kids there, their teenagers.

They're already all over YouTube and, you know, managing these things. And I'm like, did you teach them a type? Well, I know I didn't think about that. Well, he's all beyond me. Yeah, that's such a great point. Is there a time or a moment in your life, either with autism digest or being the mother of an autistic child, where a certain moment or experience with someone on the autism spectrum, really shifted your perspective and the way you look at autism? Yeah. Yeah, I have that little guy.

He's still there. Okay. And it was the first time I actually took this very, most people would

say profound young man. Okay. And his afternoon screening, frying, he lived in a group home. But there was something about this little guy. I could see that when the teacher put her Starbucks on the table the second, she turned around, he was over there getting it. So he's watching.

“And if you see those things, you're like, well, there's a level of intelligence, you know?”

Yeah, right. And he was, I don't know, maybe let's just say eight. He was still having trouble using the bathroom. So, oh my God, he's so low. And I realized he would walk around with these little styrofoam letters in his hands. And I said, you know, let's just take those letters and spell your name. And so I spelled it. And then I picked up my phone and I put it in my text to speech. So we spelled it in the text to speech. And then I put, speak, and he heard it. And he turned around

and he looked. And he's like, oh my gosh, you know, and I'm like, oh my, I think I just, you know, turned on a light here. So we were doing all kinds of things like spelling high and my name. And come back the next session and he remembered it. Nice. And I'm like, oh my gosh, so this little child learned to type. And then he became self-taught. Because he realized that he could do that. That's something he can do. He started typing, but then it got heartbreaking because as he got

better and better we realized that like I said, he lived in a group home. He was very bitter about that.

“Yeah. And that's why he was crying most afternoons. Because he was very angry with his mom”

because she, anyway, in terms into a saddest darker story at that point. And I'm like, oh, she raises this little child and nobody knew what was going on. And now we have, we can address it. So yeah, that makes sense. Now some of the best teachers of autism are those who are autistic. Yes. So tell me, what have you learned over the years from autistic people that you might not have learned if they were not autistic? Oh my gosh, probably, you know, just in myself, how to navigate

the world and realize that my actions really have an effect on other people, because that's what we try to teach them that what you do affects other people and just to learn how to do that better myself. I don't think I would have learned that because we're all kind of a little bit shut off to other people in our own world. But when you start like really trying to get into other people's world and then bring them to yours, you just kind of like start feeling everybody else's like

Over the years, you've had so many stories that have come to you through the autism digest

is there a special story or moment that has stayed with you all these years coming from someone this autistic? Oh, you know, there's so many in there all similar. Yeah. There's not one that sticks out. There's just the story. Yeah. And it's my story. It's the mom with the sun usually the sun and how her life has changed because she's been struggling to try to raise this sun with autism. Sure. They learn how to do it and that's the story. Yeah. I say mom, typically mom. Right.

And father, it has been daughter, but there's just air into just the whole life got rearranged in a second. Autism has received a lot more media tension, especially in the last 20 or 30 years.

But sometimes the message is just not always accurate and that can leave families feeling very confused.

When people hear the word autism, many still do not understand what it means. With all that confusion, it can make the journey for an autistic family even more difficult. What do you think we need to do to create a clear understanding for the word autism to the public? You know, I've been asked that before. Someone asked me, can you explain autism to me like,

“like, I'm a toddler. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't. Right. You have to know those folks and you”

have to know each one is different. And I think like somebody, the main, the general public has a perception of maybe shelved in on the big bang theory. Yeah. Yeah. Someone like that. And that's

it. Yeah. And that's why they're saying leave them alone, let them live like they want to live.

But my perception is very, very different because right now, if you walk into a school, you're going to find out one, maybe two classrooms full of very young autistic, very severe kids. And these kids can't talk. These kids are writing out of the classroom into the street. You know, and there's this whole movement towards empathy, which I get. And just, you know, live with them and learn how to embrace them. And it's like, but they're running out in the street.

You know, we got to teach them certain things. Right. Yeah. So yeah, those two movements don't get along with each other because people have different perceptions of what autism is. Yeah.

“And I think when they took Asperger's away and moved in with autism, it was a huge disservice,”

because Asperger's is not autism. Right. They're very, very different kinds of symptoms and very different ways that we manage those symptoms. Communicate twice. Yeah. Right. I think that was a huge disservice to clump them together. And I'm not even sure why that happened. It's probably something financial. One of the things I heard recently really caught me off guard. I was talking with a gentleman who had just gone through the process of being evaluated for autism. The reason

he started that journey was because his 10-year-old daughter had been diagnosed. She actually told him, she thought he might be autistic too. Here's the fascinating part. He uses AI, specifically chat, GPT, a lot in his work, and had about two or three years of conversation stored there. When he asked it to look at patterns in those interactions, it pointed out traits commonly associated with autism. So now even undiagnosed because of commonalities with his daughter,

he now believes he is autistic as well. So this raises an interesting question. How do you see AI in emerging technologies, helping people better understand autism,

“and how do you see a supporting people that are on the spectrum? I think you know, and like I say,”

I'm using, I'm developing one right now, but if we can identify kids as early as possible. Yeah. And start working with them as early as possible. We can really suppress a lot of the characteristics and a lot of the things that really make it difficult as they grow older. We can super help parents with strategies. I mean, if there's just maybe 10 strategies that are so easy to implement if we taught the parents as your child's growing up, you know, and he wants something.

Most parents will say, oh, is it this you want? Is it this? Is it this? You know, get them to point, get them to do a sign. What it is, give them choices, and just teach those strategies we could really avoid a lot of problems as they're growing up. AI can help us do that. So I have right now on on autism, I just, you could go in and say, hey, I'm cooking pasta tonight. I have a non-speaking, let's see, five-year-old. How can I use this little dinner cooking event to help my non-speaking

give you all these wonderful strategies, and I love that about the LLMs. It doesn't have to be

chatGBT. ChatGBT is just one of them. There's a lot about there now. Yeah, and there's so supportive that a diagnosis where we are actually there is vocal characteristics. So we can get a little sample of a voice, whether it's a word or not, and run it through our system, and we can tag certain characteristics. We can say, that's for diagnostic purposes. So if you have any suspicions at all, some things wrong, just go ahead and start the strategies. They're super easy. It doesn't mean you

don't love your child. Doesn't mean you're not being a great parent. These are very easy strategies

“that you can start. Now you have to go to a chatGBT. What are some strategies for early intervention”

for autism? But don't, up there. We've come a long way since the 50s and the 60s, when autism really wasn't understood at all. When I talk with families today, I still hear stories with someone shares their diagnosis and people around them think it's something that can be cured

or fixed. Yeah, you know. The truth is, it's not about fixing anything. It's just a different

way that brain processes and receives information. You can explain that to people, but sometimes it fully doesn't register with them. No. How do we shift the conversation on how to fix autism to helping people understand it? So that individuals on the spectrum have the tools and support they need to navigate a world that wasn't originally designed for them. Yes. Yes. Give them their best life possible. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's what we want to do. It is a

“brain difference. There is no fixing it. And I think a lot of the early messaging was it is a”

condition that we're looking for the cure. Right. You know, and I think the early messaging is still there. And you know, maybe there are things we can do. I don't know yet. You know, I have my personal biases about what can make it worse, trigger it. I know it triggered my own sons. And, you know, it's a very controversial. And if you say anything, either you're on this side or that side. And it's like, I'm not actually sides. This is what triggered my son. And I know it as a fact.

But I've heard other parents say it. You know, the waters are muddy. They're really muddy. And, you know, the true voices come out like, like, temple gran, look at temple gran. She's still temple gran and in her what 80s. According to her, there's no cure. Okay? She's learned to live within her own self. And she's happy. Yeah. And you bring up temple gran. And I had her on my podcast twice. And she's great. Yeah. She has. She had a consistent thing. She would say, and that was give me a

“pilot's checklist. I can check it off. And I'll get it done. That's the best way for me to understand”

what you want to get done. The interesting thing that I found about temple gran and is that some

people seem to view her in two very different ways. Some see her as having one of the most important

voices and platforms in the autism community. Yeah. Well, others feel her perspective reflects an earlier era. Yet many of the things she talks about are common sense, practical, and rooted in real world experience. How do we help people appreciate that age or experience does not necessarily make someone's insight outdated? You know, she's she's a scientist and she loves technology. And when I first got into the autism world, she was my go-to. Yeah, understandably. Even in my speech

therapy sessions, she published. I think it was 28 teaching tips. Yeah. I still use today. They're fantastic. Right. Give them to my parents. And I say, use these. It doesn't change. Autism not changed. Right. Autism is autism. So whether you're in your 80s or your 10 years old, you're still going to have the same kinds of symptoms and the same things are going to help you. In many ways, autism hasn't changed. The way individuals experience the world is the same. What's

evolving is how society responds to it. But there's still a lot of misunderstanding. I recently spoke with parents supporting their child through a meltdown trying to give them the space they needed to regulate. People around them assumed it was poor parenting. When in reality, it was exactly what the child needed. Yeah. How do we shift people's awareness? So situations like that are met with empathy and understanding rather than criticism. There is a difference between a meltdown and a temper tantrum.

Yes. Yes. The huge difference. And I don't know. I look at it and if I can hit one parent at a time and even if I tell them and explain to them the differences, it takes so long for the parent to understand at themselves. You have to go to someone who doesn't even know what autism is and try to

things like what you're doing just continuing pushing the information out there. You look at things like we all know it's bad to eat a McDonald's and oh my god, don't feed your kids that stuff. But how lobby meals do they serve a day? People don't want to know things. They just want to live their life.

When I first started exploring autism podcasts, many of them were incredibly knowledgeable.

But they were also very clinical. They were acronyms and terminology that someone new to autism might not understand. I kept thinking about parents who had just heard their children's diagnosis.

“If that's the first thing they hear, it could feel so overwhelming. That's why I wanted this”

podcast to be different to focus on the human stories because when people hear real experiences, they tend to begin to understand autism in a way that clinical language alone can't provide. I think the stories are very important for people to hear because it's very relatable. Yes, yes, more stories. I know that we're having a debate on the explosion of autism, what's really causing is identification. Are they really more? Because with autism,

bottom line is yes, there are. There's a lot more. Again, I've been here 30, 35 years and we're used to have only one non-speaking. Now I got whole-case load. It's like, okay, so they weren't hiding anywhere. These are non-speaking very severe little kids. So what helped me, I actually picked up a couple of books written by non-speaking people. There's Edo Kadar, Pena, Daniel Pena, Carly Fleshman. So pick up those books. They tell great

stories about their lives. What does it feel like to try to talk? Why do you slam your hands sometime? Now, why are you going like this? There's reasons. Carly told this great story. She went to school and the teacher said she just kept flicking her head and was wondering did she have a headache? Did you check with the dentist? And essentially when Carly was able to type and learn to communicate, she said note was a cute boy in class and she was flicking her hair.

Those are great stories from the people themselves. So pick up those books. They're inspirational.

They are. What I go around and talk about technology. Those are the first books I bring up.

Look at these are non-speaking individuals who actually sat there and typed these things out. And again, I understand there's a controversy there too. I hate to say this. I think they can create a controversy on anything they want to create. Yes. What I think it comes down to is common sense. Yes. One of the beautiful things about what you do with autism digest and what I try to do with this podcast is storytelling. Some of the stories people have

“shared with me are ones I'll never forget. And I think that's a huge reason autism digest has”

been so successful because you're telling real stories that people can connect with. When people don't understand something, stories help them begin to see in a way facts alone sometimes can't.

The reality is unless someone is living that experience every day, they'll probably never fully

understand autism the way an autistic person or their family does. I know I don't have that lived experience. What I have is a basic understanding. But through conversations like this and through people sharing their stories, we can at least help others gain insight and understanding even if they haven't walked that path themselves. Yeah, exactly. And I've started really putting some success stories in there. Oh, nice. I got entrepreneurs. Yeah. It's not a lifetime of being locked in a room.

Know these people doing things even if they're not what I want to say like the the Asperger's guys. There are some people who have trouble communicating. Yeah. They're going to college. They're doing all kinds of things. You know, again, I come back to the Rosenstall syndrome. Don't put

“limitations on them. And that's what Temple says too. Her mom pushed her to go to college. Her mom”

pushed her to go to her and farm and the best thing she could have done. Yeah. You know, don't protect them. Don't hover over them and just keep pushing them forward. Yes, give them the same opportunity that you would give to a neurological child. Right. There will be certain limitations that both of them will have. Absolutely. Like the old saying, you've seen one autistic person, you've seen one autistic person. Everyone's different and they all have different things that they can

do throughout their life. Right. Right. And here's another, I'm going to throw this out here because I think this is super important. Okay. You know, they have the transitions are huge for people with autism. And if you have a youngster, they don't like to go anywhere. They like to sit in front of the TV. And if you leave them, that's where they're going to be. Right. And I'm taking my son and going to the park at least twice a day. And the second he thought I was going to

forget it. But I picked him up and I took him. I'm screaming, sat him into the car. We're going to

the park. You're going to sit there with the other kids. I don't care. Why do you're just going to sit

“there? And then brought him home. And, you know, for the first few months, that's what we did. And then”

it started getting less and less and less and then he liked the park. So it's like, you'll got to like get out there and expose them. And it's hard because you get the looks. You get the,

oh my god, why is this mom bringing her screaming kids? So you just have to be confident. Just

get out there. And if mom wants to know you explain it to her, these sensory, these transitions are hard. But he's still got to learn how to come out, enjoy the outdoors. And you know, I'm going to get him off of his videos for a while because then it was like the video. Yeah. As we wrap up,

“what message would you most like families and listeners to remember about autism and the work you're”

doing with autism digest, especially from your perspective as an autistic mom? Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's a whole bunch of things. You know, just just ask the person, walk up to him and ask him, what's it like? I've noticed that most folks with autism don't mind telling you, most families don't mind telling you. If you really want to know, just go ask, you know, I've read so many lists,

Tony, where people say, never say this to an autistic person or never say this to an autism mom.

“And what you're doing is when you're making people afraid to talk to you. Yeah. Oh my god, okay,”

I can't, I forget what I can't say. I'm just not going to go say anything. Right. We need to stop putting those lists out there. Just stop. Yeah. Right. And because it's taking the opposite effect, just go talk to them, volunteer somewhere. Get in there and figure it out and, you know, someone's acting a little bit out of the norm. It's okay. Yeah. May or may not be autism, whatever it is. It's okay. Right. Let them go. Yeah. Learn to work for them. You know, we're all,

I have our little quirks and things. Yeah, we all do. And then just search out more knowledge, more, more, it's better. Yeah. Now, how do they find you? Well, I'm on the website, autismdigest.com. Okay. Yeah. All the information's there. They can contact me. Anyone's interested in any of the research. Yeah. Yeah. Contact me and see what's going on. Happy to share. This has been a fantastic conversation and incredibly informative. I really appreciate you taking

the time to join us and share your perspectives. Yeah. Thank you, Tony. Thanks for having me. It's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you'll enjoy it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know someone who has a story to share, tell them to contact us at whynotme.world.

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