The Eds: Gratitude and Grief

Guaranteed human. [MUSIC PLAYING] Somebody tell me that.

A shocking public murder.

This is one of the most dramatic events

“that really ever happened in New York City politics.”

[MUSIC PLAYING] A scream get down, get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten. End of mystery.

That may or may not have been political. It may have been about sex. Listen to Worshack, murder and city hall on the I-Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I'm Lori Siegel, and on my new podcast Mostly Human, I'll take you to some wild corners of the tech world. I'm about to go on a date with an AI companion and a real world cafe right here in New York City.

There's no playbook for what to do

when an AI model hallucinates a story about you. Mostly Human is your playbook for how tech can work for you. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering.

Listen to Mostly Human on the I-Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. [MUSIC PLAYING] In 2023, Bachelor Star Clayton Eckard was accused of bothering twins.

But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.

“You doctor this particular test twice in silence, correct?”

I doctor the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Olespie and Michael Manchini. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is LoveTrap. Laura, Scott State Police.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Listen to LoveTrap podcast on the I-Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Ready for a different take on Formula One? Look no further than no grip. A new podcast tackling the culture of motor racing's most coveted series.

Join me, Lily Herman, as we dive into the under-explored pockets of F1. Including the story of the woman who last participated in a Formula One race weekend, the recent uptick in F1 romance novels. And plenty of mishab scandals and sagas that have made Formula One a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years.

Listen to no grip on the I-Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roll Doll. He thought it really won't go in the BFG. But does you know he was a spy?

“In the new podcast, the secret world of Roll Doll.”

I'll tell you that story. And much, much more. What? You probably won't believe it either. Was this before he wrote his stories?

I must have been. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, because it was a spy. Listen to the secret world of Roll Doll. On the I-Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the ads with Eddie Judge and Edwin Arojave. Welcome back to the ads I'm Eddie Judge. And I'm Edwin Arojave. And today we are going to talk about a topic that's bit on the heavy side.

But an important one. It's great. And I bring this up because my dear friend Edwin has been MIA, you know, last couple of shows. And we're going to talk about why.

You know, it's an important topic. And I'd like to hear what you've been up to, brother. Yeah, I've been away because, unfortunately, one of my biggest fears in life came true, which was losing a parent.

Yeah, a dad passed. So that was quite the hit. I wasn't, I mean, I was selfishly. I thought he would live a couple more years. Yeah, but the truth of the matter, he was 82.

So we did live a long time. But he just had to had his birthday December, you know, in December. And I had just talked to him. And he probably looked the best I've seen him looking years. I mean, just lively the last thing I thought was he was in a pass.

And I was supposed to go visit him two weeks after his birthday. And then, of course, a week after that, I get a call that he's at the hospital and about to be intubated. And actually, he was already intubated at the time. So I didn't mean to get a chance to really talk to him.

And then they told me it was not going to be a big deal, just an ammonia that he caught. Although he did have bad lungs. Yeah, like chronic lung issues. But they were like, it's going to be okay.

And then about 10 days later, it wasn't getting better. And that's when I was able to fly down there and spend some time with them. At the time when I went, he was still semi-conscious. So I was able to talk to him. And I was there for a week, but really tough to see him in those conditions.

As soon as I saw him in those conditions, I probably broke down very emotional

Yeah. Yeah.

I've never really had to deal with death for a long time.

Yeah. I felt like that just wasn't a part of my life. That's what happens to other people. That doesn't really happen to me. Well, you just recently happened.

Yeah, you recently kind of experienced that with Teddy. You know, when we're at the hospital and she's in the bed.

“And you're, you know, we're all kind of, is she going to make it?”

She's going to make it. I mean, that's a lot, man. And the last what three years, four years. To me, that's a lot. You're in a half.

You're in a half. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's all happened. You know, what they say when it rains and pours.

Yeah. Yeah. It just seems that, you know, these things are just happening. But, you know, that's the thing. You know, when you get to your 40s, it's a tough,

“I think it's a tough decade when you think about it.”

Yeah. Because typically, you have kids in your 40s, right? You have work. I mean, you're in the, that's the 40s are really when you're supposed to make most of your money. Yeah.

But then you also have your parents that are typically aging. Mm-hmm. So you're just getting hit from all angles, right? I've got your family, got your wife. So how much family for me to 40s have been.

Quite the squeeze. You know, but, you know, I was, I think one of.

I always pray for wisdom.

And at a young age, I had the wisdom to know, hey, you got to work your ass off in your 20s and 30s. So that you can be ready when you have kids. And your parents are aging at the time. And, you know, have some flexibility, you know?

Yeah. But, you know, yeah. So losing dad definitely a tough one for me.

“Did you take the kids with you when you went to Columbia to go see him?”

No, I didn't. Um, well, the first time I didn't take, I didn't take that. Well, the first or second time. But I did take all my siblings, my niece, my mom when he, when we found out he, he passed. You know, one of the nice, one of the things that gave me peace was that I got to see him.

I got to see him when he was semi-conscious and I got to just hold his hand. And I promised him just like I did when I was 10 years old that I would take care of the family. And, you know, I wanted him to know that it got forbid if he passed that he didn't have to have worries or any cares in life because he knew that I was going to be there to take care of his family. You know, um, I think I wanted him to just be in peace to know, hey, your wife, your grandchildren, your kids don't, don't have to be.

Don't, they're not going to need anything because I'm always going to be there.

I wanted him to know that. Yeah, and for me that, that has brought me peace and knowing that I know he had peace. In fact, he squeezed my hand when I, when I, when I told him that and, you know, I just wanted to honor him. He's done so much for me that it's the least I can do for him, for all the sacrifices that he made for us. So, and then, you know, we're much as given much is required and I feel like I've been given a lot in life.

And it's because of that, it's my job to make sure people are taken care of. It's just blessings and you have a firm believer that a lot of the blessings I've gotten in life because I've always taken care of my parents. Like, that's always been like my number one priority was to take care of my parents. You know, I told my dad, when, when he got put away for, for a long time, he said, I need you to be the, the, the, the man of the house. He came out. I said, Dad, I don't want you getting into that industry that landed you in jail.

And I said, let me just, I'll take care of you, you know, and he never went back in it and he lived a great, great life. And he got spent on this kid, this parents, I mean, his kid and his grandchildren and it was, it was great. So, what did he do? That has given me, that has given me peace. Yeah, what did he do after a little bit about your dad? What did he do after he came out? So, he lived his life, you know, he went to Columbia, so he ended up staying in Columbia for, for the rest of his life.

But, you know, we would travel a lot, you know, I'd always meet him in different parts of the world and that to go to a bunch of world cups together. I think selfishly, I wanted to, again, experience another world cup here in the US with them.

But, you know, I was able to create a ton of memories with them. So, even though we didn't spend as much time as I probably would have liked to.

And I felt like life was always sort of separating us in many ways.

I did, I'm grateful for all the moments that that we spent. And, you know, if you look at age and parents, you know, once they start getting older, if you're only going to visit them once or twice a year and they're already 65. Like, there's a good chance we're only going to see them 10 more times, you know, or 20 more times, you know. And, if you think of it like that, you start to be more intentional with the time you spend with them and make sure that you're present with them.

Because there's not that many years, you know, again, if you always see them once, and there are already 75. Good chance they might not make it at 85.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy to think that my grandmother to turn 100 years old last year and it just...

What am I saying? That is. What a perspective though. Like, I start to think 70. That's no big deal. 80, come on, you know, 90s. I might start to suffer, but 100. I don't know that I want to be around for 100, bro. So they say that if somehow I was survived the next 10, 15 years, as a good chance we're going to live up to 120, but they're going to be good years. I hope so.

“Because again, you don't want to, to your point, like, what's the point of going to 100 if you're not, if you're in pain the entire time?”

Now, you know, I'm all looks like she's pretty good though. She looks like she's having a blast. She is, but she's gone through hell and back in the last probably decade, you know, she's beat sepsis, she's beat pneumonia, she's beat obesity. I mean, what is that cholesterol thing? Yeah. She's just beat it all. And most recently, she was in hospice for failing kidneys and somehow her kidneys came back. And she's full of life again, and then she's just kicking. She doesn't want to quit.

I became a millionaire overnight, but lost everything that actually mattered. Wait a minute, Sophia, did you just say he lost everything? That's right. It's an eriting too much drama week on the okay story time podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, "I just inherited a fortune after losing my mom, and now my girlfriend's entire family is coming out of nowhere with their hands up. One sibling wants me to fund their whole lifestyle. Another vanished for four years and suddenly reappeared.

And my girlfriend is already giving my money away." Hold on, Sophia, so the girl he wants to marry is already sending money out the door.

And that's just the beginning. He makes a plan, sets up a trust, and finally thinks he has everything under control.

Okay, so things work out then? Let's just say the people he trusted the most are the ones who ended up shocking him the most.

“To just the money end up being worth going through all that?”

Find out, listen to the okay story time podcast on the IR radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, a longtime tech journalist, and consider my new podcast mostly human, your bridge to the future. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur, anyone can build an app, and it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future, and we're going to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. What I come to realize is that when people think that their dating is AI companion, they're actually dating the companies that create this.

We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations in human history, and let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you. But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly human will show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook, so you can benefit.

“The reason I say agency is because, like, if you can give power back to people, then I think that's probably the best thing we can do for your mental health.”

Listen to mostly human on the IR radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. That shot shot city all building. A silver 40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene. From I Heart Podcasts and Best Case Studios, this is Worshack, Murder at City Hall. Could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that! July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest. Both men are carrying concealed weapons, and in less than 30 minutes, both the film.

Everybody in the chambers of dogs, a shocking public murder, a scream, get down, get down, those are shots, those are shots, get down. A charismatic politician, you know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon, and I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was effective flat down. Listen to Worshack, Murder at City Hall, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2023, former Bachelor Star Clayton Eckard found himself at the center of a paternity scandal.

The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth.

“You knocked her this particular test twice in selling, correct?”

I knocked her the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Some like the greatest disinfectant. They would uncover a disturbing pattern.

Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Break a Westby end. I can imagine it. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is LoveTrap. Laura, Scott Steel Police.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at America for County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until Justice has served in Arizona. Listen to LoveTrap podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you go. Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bailey Taylor, and this is It Girl.

You may know me from my It Girl series. I've done on the streets of New York over the years. Well, I've got good news. I am bringing those interviews and many more to this podcast. Yes, we will talk about the style and the success.

But we are also talking about the pressure, the expectations, and the real work with the women shaping culture right now.

As a woman in the industry, you're always underestimated.

“So you have to work extra hard and you have to push the narrative in a way that doesn't compromise who you are in your integrity.”

You know, I like to say I was kind of like a silent ninja. Each week, I have unfiltered conversations with female founders, creatives, and leaders to talk about ambition, visibility, and what it really takes to build something meaningful in the public eye. Because being in a girl isn't about the spotlight, it's about owning it. I think the negatives need to be discussed, and they need to be told to people who maybe don't do this every day,

just so they know what's really going on. I feel like pulling the curtain back is important. Listen to It Girl with Bailey Taylor on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know what I heard the other day that I found so interesting. And they've done this research, and if you are, if you believe that you will live a long time,

like for me, I just always believe, for some reason I believe I'm going to live to 100, hopefully I don't know.

That's what I believe, right? But they said that people that think they're going to live a long time, typically lives seven and a half years more than people who don't. And what was interesting is it said that not believing or thinking you're going to die soon is actually worse than alcohol, smoking. And like all these things that you think take your life before.

But it's just the power of the mind and being positive versus negative. That just by you thinking you're going to live a long time, you'll outlive people by seven and a half years. So how many times have you heard stories of couples that have lived together and been in love? And you know, they're in their late 70s or 80s. And then one passes and not long after the other passes because of broken heart.

Like they just can't imagine life without the other person. You know, whether it's they did everything for you or you truly are just heartbroken so much that you're like, what's the point? I don't want to be here, you know, I can see that happening with my wife and I.

“Because that's, you know, that's what I'm counting on.”

And I'm counting on being in love for the rest of my life and getting to that point where, you know, hopefully I go before she goes. But it's kind of the way to think about it, right? Because if she goes before you go, that's going to be so hard. So our lonely, lonely time, it's just heartbroken heart breaking down.

I actually thought about that the other day for the first time. You know, just when death is not really a part of your life, you don't even think about that stuff.

huh, like, I think I rather go before my loved ones, right?

Because just losing the loved one, you know, a partner of yours that has been with you forever. Like, the hard break of that, and I can see how people die immediately after that, how the other partner dies after that. Yeah. And especially at an older age, like, imagine you're together until you're in your 80s or 90s,

and then what do you do start dating again at 94. I don't know. I've seen some movies, and I've heard of, you know, places where 55 plus people, maybe 65 plus people live, and there's a lot of sex. I'm protected sex that goes on in those places.

So, you know, I was just going to say the worst case in there for me would be to, and I think this is taunted to most men to die alone, like, you know, just all by yourself. The kids aren't around, your friends, and your family is gone, and you're just kind of chucking through life.

You know, the last 10 years, nothing to really do, nowhere to go. And I just, I would kill myself if I was ever in that situation. I would not want to be in that situation. What's funny, it goes back to the law of reciprocity, right? You get how you give.

So, if you've been selfish all your life, you're going to probably end up by yourself. That's right.

“The last days would just probably the worst thing that could ever happen.”

Yeah. One of the things that I was, again, very proud of my dad.

I've always been very proud of my dad.

In fact, I tell my kids all the time he was my hero, and I hope to be my kids hero one day. You will. And, you know, I was simply going to be siblings. Like, I wanted to be there, because my siblings are like my kids.

You know, I wanted to be their hero. Yeah. And my dad, I wanted to honor him. I wanted to make him proud, something with my mom. But, you know, I loved at his funeral.

I have eight half brothers, and this four of my siblings. So, basically what happened was, wow. I get a call early February, basically, that he passed. Imagine a week. I mean, again, nightmare coming true.

Yeah. I wake up to your dad passed.

“And then that's followed by, you need to get here in 24 hours.”

I didn't know that in internationally, well, at least in Colombia. But now, I'm hearing more and more, it's kind of a norm. They bury 24 hours after you die. So, they made an exception and they extended it for 48 hours.

Because again, he passed at night. Like, at three in the morning, I wake up at seven in the morning. That's when I find out he passed. So, then at that point, I have to get my siblings, niece, mom, just a last minute ticket to Colombia.

We all flew down. And then, but his family was there. You know, been in Colombia for the last 27 years. And just everyone was just so loving. And everybody had nothing, but great things to say about them.

And again, it testament to the man that he was. And, you know, that inspires me to want to, again, bring out the best in people that, one day, we've got for a big one year pass. You do have a lot of people that show up and talk about all the impact that you made in your life.

Because at the end of the day, that's the...

“The secret life is making impact in this year.”

You know, if we're going to exist, we might as well make impact, right? I think that's good impact. Handle it. She was good, you know, they've been separated for a while, but she was probably the strongest from all of us.

Okay.

I was probably second to her, you know.

Just keeping it in for the family and making sure that, you know, I was kind of the strong one. And again, I think one of the things that I've... That going through this process. Again, the first while I was there, I was just an emotional wreck.

Like a wreck, mainly on my own, not around people, around people I kind of kept it in. But just an emotional wreck when I was by myself, you know, you get all these memories, all these things. But, you know, at the... What I... And again, this was sort of just wisdom that kind of came was...

I need to make sure he understands that I'm grateful for the time, and not be mad at the fact that he passed, right? Like, example, why did you leave me? Why couldn't you just make it one more year? You know, when you say things like that, I don't think they get to go in peace.

No, right?

Like, it was an amazing time. You know, I love you. And going peace, like, I... We'll take it from here, right? That the family will still go on.

“Versus, I think, if you're just mad at the situation, you make them feel bad about the situation.”

They can't go in peace. I can't... Because selfishly we want to say, why couldn't you... Why are you leaving me? Why couldn't you stay another year?

Why couldn't we just... Six more months, and we would have been traveling all over the world cup. Like, why couldn't you? But then that... You know, doesn't let them go in peace.

Yeah, I was very grateful about it. Taken it like that. Like, that sounds a little selfish to me if people look at it that way. You know, when somebody's... In their death bed is like, you just comfort them and you tell them all that.

Talk about all the positive things that you've had together in your life. And I remember you wrote a beautiful post about your dad about legacy. How did that help you stay or say goodbye to your dad? You know, it was really deep. And how did it help you through your morning?

It helped a lot. You know, obviously when I wrote it, it was emotional. When I just read it, I was just bawling as I was writing it. But it was what I felt at the moment. Yeah.

And it was me saying basically goodbye to him, you know. It was... You know, making sure that again, he knew... For me it was important that he was at peace. I can't think of anything worse than leaving this earth not in peace.

And in worry that, "Oh, what's going to happen with this, that, this?" And, you know, for me it was important for him to know that his legacy would carry on. And for me that was, you know, I learned at a very young age

from him to always take care of your parents and always take care of your loved ones.

And, you know, he had a spouts as well. You know, he wasn't a perfect man, obviously. Nobody else. Yeah. But, man, when he was always responsible for his kids, you know,

and he was always responsible for his parents. Like he took care of those. When he didn't have to, you know. How did your kids take it? Did they know Grandpa pretty well?

Yeah, you know, Cruz took it pretty hard. Cruz probably took the hardest of, you know, she's at that age where she didn't really know too much the difference. But they knew him very well because I would, you know, I was, because I didn't see him as much.

I was very intentional about face time every Saturday with him. And so, you know, for the most part we spoke every Saturday

and I always had the kids with me when I spoke to him.

Part of that was important to me. Obviously talking to him was important to me. But I also wanted my kids to see it. Because it's one thing to tell your kids, hey,

“you need to take care of your parents versus them seeing it.”

You know, and I want my kids as Teddy gets older. More so for Teddy, but yeah, I guess so. Officially for me a little bit. Like I want them to remember, hey, dad was always calling, grandma, dad was always calling grandpa.

I'm going to do the same for him, you know. And, you know, things, a mentor of mine has always said, things aren't taught their cop. So those moments were important for me. And the cruiser's always there.

And he's always talking to him.

My oldest fella took it pretty hard as well. You know, Teddy took it pretty hard. You know, Teddy knew him and spent quite a lot of time with them as well. And she was supportive throughout it. So that was nice to have her support.

My girlfriend was a big support during it as well. You know, she had lost her dad as well. Just a year prior. So that's the other thing I had such. I mean, what a great blessing to just have friends and loved ones

that are just pointing into you when you're going through those moments. I was really taking back by just all the support that I got from that. And, but yeah, I, I'm talking to you. I do have this piece about it.

“And I think a part of it is just all the memories that that we created.”

Like, I mean, obviously you could always do more. But I always, I feel like, you know, we, we spent as much time as we, as we could. And when we created some good memories. So, you know, if you still have your parents. Just take the time to create those memories.

That's, that's what you remember.

It's, it's crazy because he's 82. You would have thought of like, all right, it's coming. I'm like, we still got a couple years. Yeah. You know, we're still going to do this.

Like, you always think it's not going to happen even then it just comes.

“So what has surprised you the most through the coping and grieving process?”

The, the piece that I've had with it. Now, granted, it's only been, you know, a month and a half since the passing. So I'm sure it's going to come in ways. I'm not naive to that. I'm sure when the world cup comes, I'm going to be a mask.

Because that was our thing together. We'd go to every world cup together. It was a huge soccer fan. And I'm sure I'm going to have those moments. But I have, I've had this level of a piece.

I don't know if it's just protection. And, you know, I think it's a little part of that. I think it was a part of just, you know, going and doing all the things that we did and the memories we created. The one thing I'd say that I do regret.

I mean, I would always seem, I got pretty good at seeing them three, four times a year.

And the last, yeah, no, I was very intention about it. I mean, again, I started realizing as they got older. And I'm with, I'm similar with my mom. Like every Saturday, I try to have my breakfast with her and my siblings. And, you know, I'm, I'm intention about that for the most part.

“But I, I think, yeah, no, I think, I feel like we spent the time that we needed.”

But what I do regret is that year in 2024, which was that tough year. Well, yeah, 20, 20, end of 2024, beginning of 2025. Obviously, end of 2024 was a tough time for me with, obviously, my personal situation. What Teddy, three months later, 2025, I found out she obviously has the brain cancer. Just a lot going in my life business at the time wasn't doing too well either.

So, I didn't see him for the entire 2025. Yeah, man. I, the last of my son was October of 2024. And so, yeah, I didn't see him again from that time. I spoke all the time.

I didn't see him person. Yeah. And again, I, I just missed it. Like I was, I had my flight, everything, and I missed it by a week. Yeah.

So, that part, everywhere. So, reflecting on this experience, what does grief taught you about love? I mean, love is everything, you know. Yeah, it doesn't matter how much money you have. But if you don't give the love to ones you love.

And again, my dad was in perfect, he wasn't always around.

But man, did I always feel his love. Yeah. And that's something that I want to pass to my children is that. You know, again, you could give them all the gifts, all the toys. And if you give them no love, like, all that doesn't matter, like, love is everything, you know.

And love cast out all fears. And, you know, that was good.

“And I think for me, you know, just forgiving myself too, right?”

Because you could beat yourself up, about more time. I mean, you could come up with a thousand experiences, right? But I think forgiveness sort of unlocked gratitude for me. And then gratitude sort of unleashed this love about the whole situation. Yeah.

And, you know, at the end of the day, my girlfriend told me this, which made a lot of sense, is that, you know, he was in a body that wasn't functioning anymore. Yeah. And he was going through a lot of pain. And now he's a spirit.

And his spirit lives on. And that spirit can now travel so much faster. So now he's going to be in your heart, whereas before when he was in Colombia, like, you know, you weren't going to feel him as much. But, you know, from her experience, you kept telling me that you're going to feel him a lot more in your heart.

And you're just going to see him in a lot of places. And yeah, that's come true. Like, I feel him in my heart, you know. And, yeah, I'm just taking it a day by day. And again, I also know that there's probably going to be some sad times coming of just remembering some good times.

Trying to keep it positive as much as I can. Now, one thing I learned when I was young was, you know, in order to become emotionally intelligent.

And how long do you think it'll take you if it has already happened?

But how long do you think it'll take to mourn the death of your father or anybody's significant for you? Are you still going through the mourning process or do you think you've really just let it out already? No, I don't think it's something that will end any time soon. And I think one of the things that I'm also intentional about is when they come, just let it be and not fight it. Just let it through.

And again, just have those great moments of memories. I mean, a lot of my emotions come from gratitude with him, right? And so just all these good times. And so I'm embracing them as they come, you know? And I'm also not feeling bad about if they're not coming in all the time, right?

Because sometimes you're like, hey, why am I not feeling these emotions right now?

“And that's where I think like there's this piece that I have as well, you know?”

Where, and again, people are different. Like, yeah, my sister's very emotional about it still.

And it's just that's the way she's kind of going through it.

So I think there's no right way or wrong way. I just think we just get hit with different moments. I mean, different ways. But just because you're a piece where you shouldn't, you shouldn't look to blame yourself either. Or like, why am I not feeling this right now?

I'm not feeling this right now. Again, I know that I'm not, again, not even about it. And I know it's going to come from in waves, but I'd say since I got back from it, I've been, I've been functional. [MUSIC]

[MUSIC] A silver 40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene. From I Heart Podcasts and best case studios. This is Worshack, Murder at City Hall. [MUSIC]

“July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest.”

Both men are carrying concealed weapons. And in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead. [MUSIC] Everybody in the chambers of dogs, a shocking public murder. A scream, get down, get down.

Those are shots, those are shots, get down. A charismatic politician. You know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon. And I could shoot you.

[MUSIC] And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was a victim of flat down. That may have been not have been political. That may have been about sex.

Listen to Worshack, Murder at City Hall, on the I Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. [MUSIC] I'm Lori Siegel, a longtime tech journalist. And consider my new podcast mostly human, your bridge to the future.

Anyone can now be an entrepreneur, anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future. And we're going to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. [MUSIC]

What I come to realize is that, when people think that they're dating these AI companion, they're actually dating the companies that create this. We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations in human history. And let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you.

But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly human will show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook. So you can benefit. The reason I say agency is because, like, if you can give power back to people,

“then I think that's probably the best thing we can do for your mental health.”

Listen to mostly human on the I-HAR radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. [MUSIC] I became a millionaire overnight, but lost everything that actually mattered. Wait a minute, Sophia.

Did you just say he lost everything? That's right. It's an editing too much drama week on the okay story time podcast, so we'll find out soon.

First and right, I just inherited a fortune after losing my mom,

and now my girlfriend's entire family is coming out of nowhere with their hands up. One sibling wants me to fund their whole lifestyle. Another vanished for four years, and suddenly reappeared, and my girlfriend is already giving my money away. Hold on, Sophia.

So the girl he wants to marry is already sending money out the door. And that's just the beginning. He makes a plan, sets up a trust, and finally thinks he has everything under control. Okay, so things work out then? Say the people he trusted the most are the ones who ended up shocking him the most.

To just the money end up being worth going through all this.

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

In 2023, former Bachelor Star Clayton Eckard found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in selling stress.

I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Some like the greatest disinfectant. They would uncover a disturbing pattern.

Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Olesby and I command Cheney. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is LoveTrap. Laura, Scott Snail Police. As the season continues,

Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at America, for County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until Justice has served in Arizona. Listen to LoveTrap podcast on the IR heart radio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. You know, Rural Doll. The writer who thought I'd Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy? Was this before he wrote his stories?

I'd must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Rural Doll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life.

His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.

And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, because I was a spy. Did you know Doll got cozy with the Roosevelt?

Play poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney, an Alfred Hitchcock, before writing a hit James Bond film.

“How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever?”

And what darkness from his covert past, seaped into the stories we read as kids? The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Rural Doll on the IR heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What message do you want to leave for someone who might be listening to our podcast about gratitude and grief? Again, with gratitude, again, comes from forgiveness, right? There's many, I know many people that, for whatever reason, maybe aren't talking to their parents, for whatever reason,

and maybe can't forgive. And maybe there's things that you don't have to forgive, but that doesn't mean that you don't show that love back, even if you're not getting it back, right? Because I do think there comes that moment where you don't want your parent to leave

and you didn't get a chance to talk to them. Or something that probably didn't really matter and the thick of things. And yeah, so that, I guess that being the number one thing is just don't take your parents for granted.

Even if you think about it this way, like this was something I did as well. Like my kids in a perfect world are going to be around for a long time.

“That's why I go out on my way to visit Mom on Saturdays”

because I'm like, I don't know how much time she has left. My kids, they have a little more time, so as at the end of the world, if I don't make it to one of the things because I want to go spend some time with Mom, you know, like Mom's not going to be around as much. So I think when I look at it that way,

it's helped me prioritize Mom. And then just remember all the stuff they did for you when you were a kid. You know, and I think it's all reciprocal. You don't have to get it back. But you know, one day you're going to want your kids to want to spend time with you

and not just become absent because they're always with their grandchildren, right?

Or with your grandchildren, right? And I think that's in life you get what you give. So I think if you look at it that way, you know, it makes sense. I'm very logical with decisions, you know, like that's always, I always tell people like, I got common sense and I got drive, you know, and that's been sort of my little formula

to success. But again, I just think your parents eventually are a lot older.

“They're probably going to pass before your kids so spend some time with them, you know?”

How much of say do you have in your, or did you have in your parents' health decisions? You know, meaning, you know, how most let, you know, men absolutely refuse to go to the hospital

And I was in that boat for a long time before I got my heart issue. But, you know, I get it. I see it the same way. And I don't want to go to the hospital unless my arm is hanging off my, you know? It's like, so it's funny. My dad was good with it.

And he actually became very, very disciplined towards the end.

“I think that's why he lived as long as he did because he was just having chronic lung issues”

and I can have 60s. And my mom though, that's the one I got to like drag all the time.

Never wants to go to the hospital.

And she's like, there's an issue. You know, like that kind of stuff. And I'm like, mom, that's, you know, she's like, God's protecting me. I'm like, mom, God created doctors to protect you. It's not just he's going to protect you.

Like, we need doctors and that's why we need to go to the doctor. So, you know, that's, it's interesting with her. But yeah, you do have to sort of push him. And that's the thing where we talk about the 40s. It's not just taking your kids to the doctor.

Now you got to push your parents to go to the doctor as well. It becomes a lot. It's your mom really into natural remedies, natural, like, health. No, for the most part with her, she's, you know, she's pretty healthy. But no, she's just one of those, you know, natural,

ladies that has never really had health issues.

Her mom lived a long time too. But, again, she's getting at that age of, like, you start to worry a little bit. You know, you live by themselves, they're older. Yeah. You know, luckily from me, my sister is always around in, and they live closer to her than I do.

So, that's been a blessing as well. That helps. Treatment helps. Yeah. What's the latest with your grandma, by the way?

Well, she's living with my aunt. And, you know, I tell my aunt all the time I could not do what she's doing. She ended up moving back to my aunt's house, and my aunt decided to take care of her full time.

“Which is, I think the primary reason why my grandmother is still around.”

Mm-hmm. She just takes great care of her, feeds her healthy. It spends a lot of time with her, and it's just a positive thing for both of them. But it's definitely draining my aunt, and I can see it in her, and I can see it in her health. And, you know, and I, you know, I applaud her all every time I see her.

And like, if there's anything you need, I can't do what you're doing. But I can, I can help you financially. I can hire a nurse to give you a break. I can, you know, whatever it takes. I can help you financially.

But I, I had one experience, and only one experience when my grandmother was bedridden. And I went to help to visit. And my aunt asked me to help her pick her up out of the bed, because she couldn't get up herself. And help her go to the bathroom. And that's when I realized, yeah, I can't do this.

I can't do this, you know. Not the physical part. I can do the physical part all day. But it takes a special human to be able to take care of a person that, you know, needs that much help. Just as it takes a special person to be in the ER and help people, you know, in those circumstances.

When they come in, you know, either shot or after a car accident or, you know, they're livers, you know, giving up or whatever. It's just, I'm not that person. Shout out to the caregivers. Yeah, doctors. And just, there's a lot.

Same.

There's some amazing people in this world.

There is. Yeah.

“No, it's, um, do, do you and Tamara ever talk about death?”

At all or is it just something you guys don't even bring up? Um, not in length. Her mother is 74, just doing great. You know, she is starting to go, you know, have eyes, eyes, issues and, you know, back issues. She just recently had shoulder surgery.

She mentioned recently as she talked to her dad and he didn't sound the same. You know, he's getting older. And, you know, she sees what's going on with my grandmother. You know, she's, she's, she's avoided death probably the last decade, probably ten times. She's just, she's a fighter.

So those, those are the limited conversations. And obviously, you know, we talk about our death like who's going to, what's going to happen, you know, if I go or you go and hopefully I go before she goes or she goes. It's kind of kind of talks like that, but nothing real serious like, you know, we need to start planning our death because in one hand, because most of my friends are older.

The conversations are, you know, I got to go to this funeral. I got to go to that funeral and, you know, we start talking about those things.

like being incapable of going to the bathroom by myself.

I don't want to get there. I don't want to deal with that. I don't want to be bedridden. I don't want to, you know, I'm such an active person. I exercise, it just, if I don't exercise, I feel dead.

So I can't imagine a life where I'm sitting on some, you know, stupid chair watching TV all day long and, you know, just waiting to die, right? I don't want that life. And she knows that.

“And we also have talked about, you know, like, what do you want to do with your remains?”

You know, and I said, well, I want to be cremated. And I know that goes against the Catholic religion and which is how I grew up. But I'm not a very religious kind of guy, you know, I'm spiritual. But I just find it easier to be cremated more economical.

And, you know, maybe I'll think of a place that reminds me that I want my kids to spread my ashes,

you know, some people say the ocean because they're, you know, ocean people, some people say the desert. I'm actually going this Saturday to visit a friend who just passed recently. And he loved the desert. You know, brain surgeon grew up in the desert. Just loved the desert mountain.

The desert mountain biked in the desert, lived this life in the desert and they ended up spreading his ashes in Joshua tree. So, you know, everybody has a special place in the world where they might want to be. I don't want to be under the ground. I don't want to place, you know, people come visit me and mourn and know that. I just don't see that for me.

But, you know, if anything, I just want to be remembered in a positive way. Like we talked earlier, nobody's perfect. I've made my mistakes in life, but I just don't want people to mourn me too long or forever, you know. Yeah.

“And I think part of that is showing people that you live to good life, right?”

Like showing your kids like that you live to good life. And, well, they're not mourning for you because they're like, you know what? This person lived a good life. He made a lot of impact a little long time and that we were supposed to do so. And now, take the bull by the horns and go live your life.

You know, I want our kids to be just living a great life themselves. So, yeah. I definitely don't want to be a burden. But, you know, that day will come and hopefully we have enough money that we don't burden our children and take care of us. You know, because that's kind of what's happening with my aunt.

It's not a burden that she doesn't take it as a burden. But, it's definitely stifling her life, you know, because everything's about my grandmother right now. Yeah. And just when you think, you know, like I said, when she was in hospice, this was six months ago, I think. I started having those feelings like, oh shit.

It's about to happen. It's around the corner. This is, I don't know how I'm going to take it. And, and I, I shared this with my aunt. I had a moment.

And I, I rarely have these moments, but I was visiting her at the hospital. And she was, you know, all these tubes and prods and everything. And she did not look good. And the perspective wasn't good. And I'm like, oh shit.

So, I had to go somewhere and on my way to that destination. And I just, you know, started feeling like, oh shit. This is it. This is going to happen. And I pulled into a grocery store about a big bag of chocolate.

And I said, yeah. This has to make me feel better. Because I feel terrible about life right now, about what my grandma is going through. And I ate the whole damn bag and it didn't work. I didn't feel better.

But it did make me sick. But, you know, it was that moment that I realized, oh shit. How am I going to take it when, when this happens?

“You know, like, I, like, what's going to happen to me?”

You know, I, I know I'm going to feel those feelings that you went through with your dad. Yeah. But how am I going to really, am I just going to need, like, a day by myself? Am I just going to need a week by myself? You know, I don't, I don't have any idea what to expect, bro.

I really don't. And you, you don't know until you go through it. I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's interesting.

Because when I would never know what to save to someone that had a severe loss,

because I'd never really gone through it. And I'm glad I didn't because you don't know until you go through it. You know, it's just, you know, it's, it's, it's definitely tough. But like anything, time heals, you know, so that's that. But I think we got to wrap up, Eddie.

Okay. I know. Well, well, come back to there. That was tough. And thank you so much for sharing your experience and hope our listeners can, you know, learn something from that.

Please, you know, on their reviews section, right?

Your story, maybe send us an email. We're happy to, you know, read it. You know, we're shooting that. Yeah.

“Yeah, we're just, we're just, we're just like you guys for human.”

So, thank you so much for listening and we'll catch you on the next one. I'm Lori Seagull. And on my new podcast, Mostly Human, I'll take you to some wild corners of the tech world. I'm about to go on a date with an AI companion, add a real world cafe right here in New York City. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you.

Mostly human is your playbook for how tech can work for you. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur, anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering. Listen, mostly human on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. [music playing]

[music playing] [music playing] Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics.

[music playing] A scream get down, get down, those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that may or may not have been political, may have been about sex. Listen to Worshack, murder at City Hall on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

In 2023, Bachelor Star Clayton Eckard was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.

“You doctored this particular test twice in silence, right?”

I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men, who'd been through the same thing. Break a recipe and I could manage any. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scott's new police.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Listen to Love Trap podcast on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Ready for a different take on Formula One? Look no further than no grip, a new podcast tackling the culture of motor racing's most coveted series. Join me, Lily Herman, as we dive into the under-explored pockets of F1. Including the story of the woman who last participated in a Formula One race weekend,

the recent uptick in F1 romance novels. And plenty of mishab scandals and sagas that have made Formula One a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to no grip on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bailey Taylor, and Mrs. Ikro.

This podcast is all about going deeper with the women shaping culture right now. Yes, we will talk about the style and the success, but we are also talking about the pressure, the expectations, and the real work behind it all.

As a woman in the industry, you're always underestimated.

“So you have to work extra hard in a way that doesn't compromise who you are in your integrity.”

You know, I like to say I was kind of like a silent ninja. Listen to It Girl with Bailey Taylor on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't I-Hard Podcast. guest. Karen T. Human.