What Are the Rules of an Open Relationship? ft Ashley Gavin

Come on, how did she find her what what do you mean how do you find her just like do a leap of how does she find her to sew it? What do you mean how to oh?

“I don't know my girlfriend didn't excuse me. I'm a spoke. I now understand whatever one's saying to me”

My girlfriend made a dress for herself Copyed do a leap of strength My girlfriend is not a professional stylist seamstress designer What? Imagine if I were to tell a for such a girl. My girlfriend is not a doll

Oh, Donna. I love you babe Hello and welcome to the U.O. podcast. I'm Jared Freed. I am joined by this week's co-host Ashley Gavin. Thank you for coming on the show

Thank you for having me such a love podcasting with you love it always a great time

Man you do pod with yeah, we have good pod energy. We've great pod energy. Well, we'll see we're saying this before people get a chance to listen or We did some sick riffs earlier. I'm so I'm sorry not making it on these cameras should have been rolling at all time

“That is the sad part about being a comedian. You're like we wasted all this fun energy”

Not even to be taped like we know how good I can be right They just hear me off air you can see how good Ashley Gavin is by going to her podcast with Josh Johnson It is called what's news with you. That's your new podcast new pod and it's not news It's the opposite of news. We cover everything that you would never have covered in the news so give me an Example we have people call in so with their news with their personal news. Yeah, they're personal news

Like if a bird flew under their window we cover that how do you vet that some people really will go on And we have a skit so folder a skit so folder. We have we call it the skit so folder. It's not PC I'm so sorry if you're if you're offended by that, but we have a special folder for people who

You know, it's a little it's a little odd so they email in first and then you say hey

We'll we'll take this on the air my producer just we have a hotline and they call and they leave a message and my producer That's all of them. I don't know how hard his job is let's end up in the right. Yeah Also you have another podcast. We're having gay sex. I've been on that show. Yeah, so much fun. Um go follow Ashley Gavin And so funny so many great clips on TikTok. I mean you're you're shows sometimes when they come up for me It feels like it's this like

It feels like I'm getting to watch a party. I wasn't invited to it can be a little it can be horny Let's just call it what it is. Well, so you're doing can be a little actually charred as a great stand up But it does feel like you're like there's a moment in the show where you're like all right Let me hear from you people. Yeah, they're very they're great. It's a great nobody. There's a there's a actual energy to all the videos It feels like it's fun your shows are very like there's like a palpable

I'm going I love I'm realizing more and more I love the live element of performing Especially at the end of the show because I'll do like my my hour And then at the end we do 10 to 15 of crowdwork and I really just let anything happen and People come kind of prepared. Yeah, they do stuff right do. Yeah. They bring signs They bring stories they do have you kind of made it so like hey I'm gonna do my act and then like now we can do

Yes, because I would be afraid the I've had people bring signs of my shows

I'm never to me. It's like an obstacle. I have to get around. Yes, not like I'm really what that happens

And then I learned that if I tell everyone hey, please shut the fuck up for the next hour and then you can do whatever you want They really listen Yeah, very you know what they're not they're very polite like they just need to know the rules If you tell them the rules they will follow the rules so and at the end of the show Mommy says be quiet. I mean

One of you someone in your audience just got a little wet from that. They're like oh my god Do it they'll put that on rewind I didn't say it so as your show, but it does feel like like do people come out at your shows? Sometimes you have that yeah, or they're there in secret. They're there. They're like there's like there's like there's like there's a fair amount of bisexual women with boyfriend's who Are like am I by and then by the end of the show?

“They're by yeah, they're full again, and they're with the boyfriend you have oh yeah all the time all the time and you have to kind of now you've become this like”

Handholding I am a surpa The problem How do you feel about that as as a lesbian woman? I even saying that I was what am I like I felt like an idiot That was the dumbest thing I've ever said actually was so stupid. I really will Michelle Wolf good friend of mine has a has a great had a great bit about how straight men and lesbian women don't interact

Yes, yes, I think that's understated. I think it's actually

Straight women are very proud of the fact that they have a gay male friend

“But I think less so I wish straight men would be more open about the fact that they enjoy hanging out with lesbians”

I think they can be a little insecure about what that means for them Because gay men will come to my shows all the time But often they are alone Interesting they did not bring their boys with them and I get it. It's a hard sell It's a very strange thing to have to say to your guy friends

Hey, I'm gonna go watch this lesbian that I like and they're like what is that? Well, you know I think bringing anyone to any comedy show is like this real reveal of what you watch Totally alone at home. Yes, it's kind of this alone on your phone or on Netflix you turn it on when you're looking to past time You're so right because it is the comedian's job is to get to the weird things that people

Think about don't want to admit they're thinking about and then when you say that this is my comedian These are the thoughts these are my thoughts. Yeah But it is funny because like if I have

“I get yeah the gay best friend to a woman is announced it does feel a little bit weird like I think we've gone to a place where you're like”

Why do you need this? Yeah, I'm not your handbag, right and then but with men you don't hear about You know, but Someone say that's progressive to just be like, that's my another friend. Yeah. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I do wish that more because my Identify so much with straight men, you know like yeah and because I tend to date

I have been many women's first really so like yeah

So I like I don't mind it a lot a lot of Lesbians do mind it. Why do they mind it because I think they're tired of being treated like an experiment There's such a downside but now that people are so liberated I find that the downside is almost totally gone. I will say I'm in an open relationship, so I don't have to deal with I know Jared I'm dropping a lot of bonds here. This is like a lot for me. I don't know. This is too

It this is advanced progressive for me. Exactly exactly. It's really it's a lot. I'm saying relationship Lesbians. Oh my god Women's first I got a what is this a porn category? I will say I'm not polyamorous I don't have relationships with other people. I couldn't handle that So this is you're living a straight man's dream. I am living the dream. You're I have a girlfriend

You also girlfriend who's wearing dulypa's dresses as we said earlier as I said my my celebrity crush

“Dulypa she can wear a dulypa dress. Yeah, yeah, and you have an open relationship where what are the rules?”

We both can hook up with other people but we can't do like relationships with other people. So when you have persistent hookups with other people. Yeah, she does that more than I do and Because I'm on the road a lot. So I tend to hook up on the road and she'll have like a regular that she sees in New York That she'll she's got a couple guys that she this is the dream. This is like what every but you I don't know I'm sorry sorry and girls. I should clarify. She's bisexual. Yeah. Okay, so you go on the road

Men are easier. This is the thing when I start getting into details and I have to clarify everything men are easier Okay, how so what do you mean? She they're easier to get oh for her. Yeah, so easy right she just like walks out into the Student exactly I'm I'm so most of her regulars are men and she's got she's got one or two girls that she sees But for me, it's like a different usually a different woman in every town you're like a sailor So we don't know how to tie knots at the Holy shit. She doesn't all

So So hold on so when you go on the road you are you getting approached. Oh, yeah big time. It's very fun. Yeah. Yeah, you're this is I have a great light in this is heaven I have to remind myself not to complain all the time right well I mean complaining's the best, but I could see now you go So you go to a town and are you what do you generally like getting approached with is it like I?

What my first and sometimes right I want to zoom on the road comedian you're kind of like a safe space for Totally someone first because they because they know the rules to see this is what a lot of people don't get about the open thing

They're like oh, I could never do that, but when everything's out

It makes it so easy. There's no games right this woman knows She is probably never going to see me again and so therefore it's just a lot of problems. It's just what it is Like in reading some of the I've done your other podcast. Yeah dealing with the rules of

Serious not to like be stereotyping sure that's not always what it is

But generally we see that's a Yeah, but when you're in an open relationship and you're just like this is sex and I'm very serious and I'm very serious about that Like that's like Do you want to have a family? Do you want to have a friend I froze my eggs did she as well? She's a little younger than me, so but we've been talking about whether or not she's gonna freeze her eggs

So you froze your eggs and do you plan or doesn't even matter to plan to have open Relationship be a part of your life or we talked about that because it does present when you have a family There's now another person who is not consenting sure even though it's a great way to put it I never would have thought of it that way the kid consenting to Even though the kid is obviously not a part of that part of our lives if the kid were to find out

In the way or feel weird about that so so we've we have not decided what we're gonna do about that if we Do continue I think it would be we would be lying to everybody that we were we were close

“I think it would be such an airtight secret, you know what do you mean? I wouldn't want”

I wouldn't want my kid To have to deal with any weirdness at school about it right so you're saying we would be together and Yeah, yeah, I would maybe be monogamous or if there was some kind of hall pass agreement That happened once a year or something you know like it would be a total we have to be a total secret I got I listen I so on the road by the way there are parents doing this because I hear from them

Well, you're hearing from everyone. Yeah, yeah, you're you're hearing from everyone married woman who's dreamt of this Or a lot right you're hearing about all marriage is like that was what comedians get this like it actually Sips her drink doesn't want to get into it too too far. I know what I'm saying like You know as a comedian we go to a party. We get the weirdest person coming up to us and going oh I have to tell you my deepest darkest secret because I know nothing shocks you

Right like I get that all the time when I'm at a party and then suddenly I'm in this tiery-eyed conversation with someone about you know What's going on in their life? And I'm like I can't believe every fucking party. I have to deal with this and I have to I've heard every gay thought from every man They've all just they've all I can't put it through you I've all just by Jared if you'd like to let me know

“Well, I've a talk after I think I got a few things to go over it so on the road. I'm I'm curious to”

You get a approach how do you how do you how do you decide? Well, I'm not that lucky Well, you're lucky enough. I'm lucky but I'm saying you get done with the show. Is there a DM? Is it? Yeah, usually it's like a DM. Yeah, and it's like let's get drinks, but you know You don't drink. I don't drink and it depends on what she's comfortable with but typically It's like come to my room. I'm here. Yeah, yeah, and typically they're how you are living in hand

No drinks the fuss the fuss This is crazy. I get the Uber I get the Uber and I get it

This is amazing. Do I say like a bad person? No, no, no, no, no, no, you're in the right place

To not be judged. I think this is great. You know the open it's best part of it Women like I feel like straight women if they want to live like this they get called names. You know, and it's Also they live in constant danger

“Well, the danger part of it is crazy. I just get to you get to be with you know. Yeah, you know”

You're not inviting a grizzly bear over Exactly. It's a fair fight if there's going to be a fight. I did make a woman put her knife away this was a very long time I hooked up with a woman. I should bring the story back. I was the first story I told on we're having gay sex By the way, you don't have to be gay to watch it. It's just comedy about dating like it's a it's a great podcast

I always have fun and listen if you want me as the apathy

There's you there's Hannah Burner There's all kinds of straight people ran a green bird like we've had all kinds of straight people on them The straights are invited. Yeah, but I did make a woman put her knife I put her knife in the safe of my hotel So she comes over she says hey, I'd love to she's like security obsessed

She's like a little like to the point where I made she got like her home got broken in on And we had been talking about that. She's like oh, yeah, I own guns. I have a knife on me right now And I was like well, that's not gonna fly. I'm putting your knife in the safe So hey, I'm not gonna take a snake if you got the knife take a step back. Show ends. You got a DM Hey, I had that her on hinge. Okay, so you meet on hinge. Hey nice to meet you

I know you from your comedy I'm gonna be in town with love to or I'm already in town Yeah, yeah, and hey the show just got over come over kind back. Yeah, and and then you say I know if I enter to the show show is over

Yeah, yeah, I put her knife in the safe and she said no problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she said no problem See I have this Here's where here's where you and I kind of diverge You and I are both a safe adventure Which is a what a lot of women want yeah, yeah, yeah, you're safe advent. You're so right about that

Yeah, they want to have this fun this wild night But I also want to know that they're gonna be safe. Yeah, yeah, they're gonna be held and and and respected yeah, and I think for me I'm a safe adventure to date That is a much worse place than safe adventure to have a sexual encounter with Like oh, we should do drinks. I'm like drinks. Yeah, but that's your that's your charm

You're great at dating. That's your whole fucking thing This is like a genie's wish gone wrong. Yeah, it is really great at dating. Yeah, but no where to put your penis So boy, boy, do I talk about that? We want everyone to go follow Ashley. We're gonna do some emails. We'll play some red flag a deal breaker

“We're gonna do a niki or picky. We're so excited to have you here. Mickey or picky. So you're dating someone and you have to decide”

If it's a real valid egg or if they're just being gotten it got it, but we'll start with a red flag or deal breaker Which is the game that is sweeping the nation. Um, you're dating someone one thing happens It's the post perfect date you've ever been on one thing happens is a red flag You notice that you keep going or is it a deal breaker you end its sight on scene Have you ever gotten a fight with your girlfriend about a

Hook up that's happened on the road? No. I know this is gonna sound like Dream come true maybe too easy, but we we're not big Fighters right we do not really have escalated arguments We barely even have arguments okay, but we we have a a monthly check-in

Where we check in about the open thing and we talk about it. We always let each other know

I think we're just really lucky because we're totally identically on the same page

“I think I think what you're saying though is like it's hard to get to but once you get there”

Yes, like you're there and those are the rules and It kind of like you have it's a more simple. Yes, a lot of people are like that sounds complicated like how do you Not let feelings arise, but I actually think the opposite. I think it's easier to cheat When you guys don't have an established idea of what cheating means a little flirting, you know like having a crush. There's a lot of there's so many thing in other cultures and then it like becomes

Resent yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have total transparency right we can be like here is everything that happened And we've had conversations about it and like recently we had a conversation where I learned something new Where she was like I would be more upset if you lied like about something rather than if you broke Rules and told me that would be okay Okay, then you breaking the rules and not telling me and knowing that is great because then I can just be like hey

I accidentally broke the rules and and I'm gonna tell you right now Let's just get out here at the monthly check-in. Yeah, with my supervisor Let's play a red flag or deal break. You ready? Yes, J J and A

I love the red flag deal breaker game and unfortunately finally have something to write in about

I female was seeing a guy exclusively for eight months when he broke things off we started hanging out again soon after But for about two months it was more friends with benefits until I ended it and told him if we weren't going to be together I couldn't keep doing that a couple of weeks later He came back saying he'd been stupid and wanted to be serious again That was two months ago things felt like they were going well

We were making future plans and even talking about engagement rings then out of nowhere He asked if I'd ever kissed one of my female friends. I said yes once He told me to get away from him said he couldn't trust me and packed his things and left He refused to hear me out when I tried explaining it had happened when we weren't together And nothing else happened the next day

He texted that I'm not deserving of his time or energy or even a conversation for context The kiss happened while we were broken up and it was a drunken moment additional context He's not a big fan of this friend He's more traditional about relations what she is more in her casual era He's previously questioned whether I'd be untrustworthy when I'm out with her

And I've always reassured him that if we're exclusive

There's nothing to worry about also early in our relationship there were a few times I left out details about my past that later came up and he said I lied to him

“So is his reaction a red flag or a deal breaker or am I the red flags and suddenly by curious but not that curious bet?”

What do you think? Thank you for thaming this around me. We do we do right by our guests

You go I can't speak for this right you can't think for this. It's also so different right at the same time

I wish God I wish I could apply some of the things that I do and recommend in the queer community to the Straight community I think you guys would be so much better off it really is awful to read some of this honestly

“I honestly what do you guys do after hearing about your life?”

Honestly after hearing about your life. I want you to advise the straight community too I want Jared font right Let him go on the go to the hotel right don't even worry about it. Let me go on the road Have an uber show up with a random hot chick that I've vetted through Instagram and lettering just boon me And go on away

Come on, let me have the Ashley Gavin met the Gavin method the cabin method. Yeah, I want to have a Gavin time You'll have a Gavin time too by the way Right, we'll have a Gavin time. I have a Gavin time

I'll go down on each other. First of all buy here can I just say

Dear listener you are bisexual okay just stop trying to make caveats. Yeah, you're kissing women is by curious the thing It is but it's just like can you please it's you don't have to there's so much shame in this right as I read this I hear shame he didn't help that. Oh no, he did not I'm not that curious She's just a friend nothing else happened. I don't know all this stuff like it is okay that you kiss your friends It is okay for you to be by curious. It's okay for you to be by like whatever like just what if I was like not okay

Don't even worry about the labels. This is like a whole other thing besides this man like everything's gonna be okay Don't worry about the labels

It's okay that you're kissing your friend you can do more with your friend you can kiss other other women even the label of friend like you flirt with this woman that you're attracted to

“Yes exactly and he felt that like he didn't got nervous about exactly. You know the you what was that mean?”

The person you were worried about yes exactly. Yeah, you know it's just like you have a thing with this woman I think it should be more obviously notice this woman is like hot right and someone you're into Yeah, so like he makes him insecure that's okay. Yeah, it is separate than the email because like I look at this email This could be from anyone and I'd be like what he's doing is such a move. Yeah. He doesn't want to commit the minute it got he found one thing

To call you out on and he saw it as a you know, a lever he could pull to get him out exactly. It's like it there's there's Bad energy from him before the bisexuality issue like the you know not getting serious and then Maybe um one of the call it love bombing maybe I don't it's hard to say like but you can't like Talk about engagement rings and then freak out because and then not even worry about when this hook up happened like It's just right well and then not have a discussion. Yeah, exactly. You know you're when you start talking about

The whole order of this you dating then you break up and then he comes back. I was stupid Now we're two months in and talking about relay getting engaged and now one this agreement He goes no discussion. No nothing you go you're bringing up mature topics to try and ease me into like a like a Saying engagement in any ways and looking at rings is like easy there chill chill and then the moment I Do something wrong and you don't want to be in this anymore. You go. Oh, you made out with your friend. I'm out.

Yeah, I also like that's such a tender Sorry, but to ask someone like oh have you ever Had like a gay experience like that's a really sensitive question if you're not willing to bring like Some I mean maybe they think of it differently, but in my mind if like I'm asking someone that I'm like oh Like you're being gentle. You want to be gentle with that person because like they might feel shame

Which she obviously does and even if it's just a little bit even if it's like casual main stream shame Which it appears to be but like yeah, I don't like that. He didn't He didn't bring care to that conversation Right, so he's a total deal break Right when you don't give well

I'm with you when you don't you know, I like that you said that the care to the conversation about that about her bisexuality

“Yeah, then you have to like he's honestly being selfish and not caring about”

What this is the match. She clearly asked that like in reference to himself Either because he was worried about this other woman or because he has like opinions about that

Reflected on your sexuality right like you know

He didn't it was like I need to know this about you because I'm in a form in opinion And well a form an opinion and a reason to go. Yeah, like it gives me the right to leave And it's like looking for anything maybe yeah, I think so like I mean like that happens a lot of breakups. It's like Okay, I have written a check that I can't cash called engagement

“All right, what's the only way out of this engagement that I've kind of like hint at that?”

Yeah, oh, I can use this societally negative thing of like The societal judgment that goes with like kissing a woman yeah in some circles now I can use that against you because you already feel this shame that said kind of to kind of like try to over your own shame

I would fuck the other girl. Yeah, because it looks like she's willing

Just based on what you've written here. There's something there sounds Sounds like she's having a great time. Yeah, I think so. I would go have sex with your friend. So deal breaker. Let's do another don't We'll bring in Ashley. We could go. We can Gavin method it. Yeah, we'll Gavin man What city are you and Ashley will be rolling in? Yeah ready to go What's the best city for

Meeting a woman?

“I don't know you know that they're all good. Where have I had the most luck?”

I feel like it's like it's just like a gay city like is there like maybe it's like a more like like is there more like a repressive city is that better like sometimes you go to like Salt Lake City and you're like the audience is here The audiences in Salt Lake City are unreal. I'm unbelievable when does this come out this comes out Marsha I'm gonna be in Mar uh Salt Lake City that this wasn't a way to bring up Salt Lake I'm gonna be in Salt Lake. I'm gonna be in LA. I'm gonna be in Tempe if you're in those cities coming to my show

But I I've gotten pretty lucky in Phoenix a couple times really yeah Phoenix feels wild Phoenix is West Coast Florida and Phoenix is West Coast for otter know what you're you're not wrong. Yeah, you're not wrong about Phoenix is West Coast for otterdale. It is the same amount of stupid. It's the same amount of like We're just party and man they're drinking monsters versus red bulls. You know like this is yeah

It's like bizarre for otterdale and it There is an energy of there of like just like fun stupidity. You're so right because I hooked up with sort of a Queer anti-vaxxer and I was like this is very interesting. What a combo. Yeah. Yeah, well she had a back story Something had happened. Okay, and I was like, you know maybe Maybe we you know very that's that's rough. What happened? He was very rough, but maybe and a total experience was not

More and I hope you discuss this after the hook up. Yeah, let's get let's get the job done first Yeah, still pounce yeah still discuss like listen. Robert Kennedy means as a liberal. She's not like that Okay, as a liberal Okay, it is my job to stay in the game with people. I think I can swing

“Living learning sexually or politically. So that's your that's what you bring to the day”

I am a middle of the road gay. Okay, and you finally get them swung to the side me personally

I'm pretty far left with my belief system, but I'm never gonna like

Shame someone I'm always gonna be the person to have the the conversation with if you have thoughts that you don't want to Admit to the people around you you can admit them to me and we will have a a a a a thoughtful friendly conversation After you go down after I after I finger you into oblivion. Yes, when your brain is in a malleable state After you've gotten indexed by the gas. That's when you're good to go. That's when we'll start talking Liberal values in and I'm taking and indexed by the gap in next by the gap. It's a great match item

indexed I love that. Let's do a Your picky ready we're gonna sell this person whether this is an avallid egg or they're being picky frequent Let's subscribe here. Thanks for making dating a little bit easier and funnier. I'm writing about something that could be Considered in your picky or red flag deal breaker would love your thoughts on having roommates as we get older Are you living with your girlfriend? Yeah, see that makes it easier, too. You're in you're with each other

You come back you go No indexing Yes, and that course you're on the index today zero on I'm a 28 year old woman dating a 35 year old man We met IRL not on the apps have a great connection have been seeing each other about three months

He moved to our city years ago found his roommate a woman slightly older than him through Facebook

They've lived together for five years get along well nothing romantic has ever happened I've lived alone since 25 and wouldn't usually expect a 35 year old to have a roommate

“I think it ties in his lifestyle. He has a solid career as an independent journalist”

But lives more like someone in their 20s video games. We didn't I going out for drinks late late hours do to remote work That said our lifestyles are actually very similar. We even met it a bar. We both frequent my question is There are my questions. Is there a real age cutoff for having roommates or is it all about context? If two people's lifestyles align and no one's bothered doesn't matter. Thanks a solo living but roommate dating batch. What do you think Ashley gave I mean maybe

Maybe there's something I don't know but this doesn't bother me at all would not bother me at all. Yeah. I'm with you

I mean maybe it's different with men, but I think that would be a bad double standard It's nice to live with someone you save money right you you have a built in especially if you guys get along Yeah, I I don't see the problem like I love I just love hanging out so I can see why you'd want to have a roommate I I lived alone

I don't know I mean like I almost feel like now that I'm older I understand the value of community a little bit more I totally agree with this. This is this is like one of those I'm 27 and I Data 35 year old and how could they have a roommate

“Place of life like I think this is different when you're 27 looking at this then when you're 45 or 40. I'm 40”

and you know I think there has to be there's two things that have to happen there has to be an

Knowledgement in a plan. Yes, so let's acknowledge what is going on is a little bit different like from anyone Like if if someone said you like You know there's a lot of like fear of like judging someone's relationship and how they're doing it and poly versus Yeah, you know ethical nominography and all those things open relationship is you're in For me to ask how does it work is not really me saying I hate it and no one can do it

I just want to know how it works. Yes, if you were to say to me Well come on Jared have an open mind. Yeah, I just what you know you're living differently than I know people to live So in the same way this guy like if if I'm in a woman who's 35 and She lived in this like really fabulous New York City apartment and she was working and doing really well

“And she's living with this other woman. They're both single and she came to me and was like, you know what?”

I I'm a single woman living in New York and this is really the last time I could have Fun roommate. Yeah, we get along really well New York is expensive this makes it Very comfortable for me. Yeah, I get to save money and get to have a great place. I'm in the part of town Anyone would kill the be in I have my own living space. I have my own my own bathroom

I've worked it out to work with my life. I would actually be jealous of that Yeah, I think it's actually great right now that I don't know what the relationship is between the roommates But now that I'm a little older. I'm like gosh, I kind of wish I could live with my best friends totally like I tell them one of my best friends. He's allergic to cats, so he couldn't live with me

But I say all the time like I would gladly Subsidize his rent to like just be around community. I love community. So I totally get it and as far as the alternate I don't want to say alternate, but like you know he's doing his own thing. He's he's a free-land journalist You know like some people are just like that. I think comedians are really just like that I I don't want the life where you get into that level of routine that's kind of boring like

I don't know why not try to be young for it. Listen. I you know we and also with the roommate thing We are living under the The lens of our parents generation 100. I was gonna say it's really not fair to us. It's not fair Especially given the economy like this time he a new normal for a lot of people also the internet and how work works You know like you know I moved to Delray Beach and I have so many people has it going and I'm like once you free yourself like I was like

You know my response a lot of times to comics. I'm like the two largest touring comedians in the world Don't live in New York or LA so you go okay once you get around that You go okay could I do that well hypothetically I could it's it's not an impossibility I've seen it happen for other people and then you go well plane travel isn't what it was In the 80s and like like the idea that I'm living this lifestyle that is

By the rules of another age. I do think in this day and age you meet someone with a roommate if you were to say

I would say that you are living by another time standard yeah, yeah, and

“Yeah, that's not I I'm with like and also as comics we know”

We just we have a lot of value in making the lifestyle work. Yes, yeah, you know So we go well you're saving money and you have a good place and it's in the right part of town and you can do stand up and You can do the thing you're passionate about and you can be an independent journalist so I think to this person like

It's so hard to do I I it's so hard to like

See your life different than the one you grew up in yeah, and I think that's like the thing that they need to get over even in a small way Yeah, I don't know what her I can't really tell from her tone here, but I would just say make sure it aligns with whatever You're trying to do right what's the future what why do you do this now?

“What's the future hold for you? I think those are the two questions because why do you do this now?”

Hey, it makes it so the pressures of my independent journalism You know career doesn't really get to me. I could I know I can handle the cost of living yes even in hard times Yes, and I'd like to live with someone in the future That is my wife or get married like let's make sure that the goals are aligned, but like This might help them get to those goals even in a more comfortable way yeah, totally

I mean I my girlfriend and I talk about it all the time We you know, we're we're not engaged, but we are engaged, you know, and I mean we just we're just moving at the I don't know we're just kind of doing our own thing like we don't really worry about it when's the weather? No

“But we talk all the time like we love waking up at 10 or 11, you know, and like do we want to have kids?”

It's it's just like always just be on the same page as him and his

His life, you know like and make sure it's on the same page as as your life Right, I think maybe sometimes the assumption with like roommate plays video games smokes weed you go Well, they must not want anything else well, maybe that's the way they're doing it to get to the same thing you want exactly exactly Yeah, yeah, yeah, so This is fantastic. We're so fine everyone go follow Ashley Gavin on TikTok on Instagram on all the social platforms

But most importantly what's to news with you with Josh Johnson and we're having gay sex two podcasts that are fantastic and wonderful This is great. So happy you came on so funny everyone go follow. I'm Jared Fried. We are here every week Wednesday and Friday you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok but also on YouTube where you can watch this and We do benefits episodes where we are checking in with Jordana and her mother journey

She's got two babies. They're so cute. We're gonna check in with her. So sign up for you up with benefits to get All the updates on Jordana and during her maternity leave and We'll be back next week boom