What Changes In A Relationship After Kids?

- You're in for a lot of insults.

- Yeah, we're not a baby. - Well, welcome back. - I got the full singing praise. - That's right, what a treat. - Jordan, that's sort of a gerencey.

- Now I love you, I love you. - You've been to me. - I really like the skinny chair. - I love you. - Wow.

- What a treat.

“- How you feeling, how the babies, how's Ronnie, how's Mike?”

- How's everyone? - How's everyone? - Everyone's pretty good. - Yeah. You gotta wait for the podcast.

- All right, let me go away, but don't talk to me. (upbeat music) - Hello, and welcome back to the U.S. podcast. I'm Jordan and Abraham. - And I am Jared Fried.

It is so good to be back here with you, Jordan, and welcome back. - I'm back. - You're here. - Oh my God!

- Oh my God, holy shit. - Wow. Oh my, amazing. - Oh my God, wow.

- I thought it was gonna be way quieter than that.

- I love it. - Oh my God. - I like to, you guys like looking at each other and then you just did it, it was very impressed. - Oh my God, I almost had an heart attack.

- You guys are a well-oiled machine over here. - My cholesterol medication today, that was crazy. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Wow, I feel very welcomed.

- Thank you. - Thank you. - Dot, dot, dot, dot. - Yeah, I walked in, I got like a welcome. - I got a standing like Ovation and everyone was clapping.

It was amazing. - Yeah. - We're excited you're here. I know the listenership, they've been begging. They said, get rid of these loser guests.

(laughing) - We hate them all, I feel like I read the comments. I feel like they're been hit or missed. Some people are like, are really into them. - It goes both ways.

- Yeah, definitely, you know, again, well, some people are like, like, stay away, you're done. - Right. - There's some people, well, it is like an emotional roller coaster. You know, some weeks, and for me, you know,

“having to tend to the ship capped in a loan, right?”

- Yeah, I feel like a single mother. - 'Cause it feels just like kind of like, J-Trade? - Nah, it did for a minute, but it also felt like, you know, I don't want my biggest fear is like, everyone's like, oh, we're gone, you know,

Jordan and has gone, it's over, jump the shark, and you're like, no, we're still here, we're still here. - Of course. - Doing it, well, with this segment. Before, you know, we're gonna make some money off of this comeback.

- We gotta get into it. - That's why I'm here. - You know, listen, you're here to make the dough. Our next segment is something new and different, sponsored by Season 3 of Euphoria on HBO Max.

We wanted to do something big for their big comeback. It's been five years since the events of Season 2,

and the stakes have never been higher.

So it got us thinking, we hear a lot of stories on this show from people in messy, complex and surprising situations, but we don't always get a follow-up. Like any good cliffhanger, it's hard not to wonder, but what happened next?

So this segment is, what are you up to? And we're gonna give updates on our lives. - We are, you're gonna hear something we usually reserve for the subscribers. - Now you guys are gonna get everyone gets an update.

- That's right. So it's been three months, which is like crazy. Like I haven't gone three months without seeing you. - In eight years? - I know, it's crazy. - And like crazy.

- Yeah, and I don't, for me, I've never missed an episode of the show before this. So it's been weird. - It's been, how do you feel? How did it, okay, so the babies are healthy and doing well.

We wanna check it on the babies, Lucy and Charlie. - The babies are wonderful. They're, they're just great. I mean, they don't do that much, but they're great to sit in there.

- Yeah, they're sitting there, they're eating. They're, you know, they, but every day, they do like a little something new. So that's fine, like they're starting to like smile. - Awesome. - And laugh and all that.

- Do you have a day where you look in the mirror and you're like, you're a fucking mom. Like do you have a death wall? - Kind of like kind of every day. - Every day, oh my God, I'm in charge.

- It feels very surreal. - I also like zero to two feels like, I have two kids that feels like I've been doing it for a while, but I haven't. - Right.

- So that's kind of the weird of that? - Two children. - Yeah, that huge house enough room for 10. - Oh, my God. (laughing)

- And you have your hat on. - I got my hat on. - So if you're watching on YouTube, Uncle J trained is in the building, that's right. - Uncle J trained.

- Okay, I have a question for you. Did your brother say anything about the hat? Was he like, what about my kids? Future kids? - Well, now I have the hat.

- For when? - Yes. - His kids ride.

“- You've already tried to train to a lot of kids, okay?”

- Okay, it's not just, let's not take it. - Oh, I thought it was like a special, it's like a special thing. - Oh, I got the hat for you. - Okay, who else are you on comedy?

- There's a lot of Uncle J trained, you know. - You have a lot of children that call you that. Does anyone actually call you that? Any children? - There's a couple where the parents are trying

to push it on them, but they're not confident after not like adult enough to be like, Uncle J trained, like it's not like, and I'm not around enough. - All right, you'd have to like take them somewhere.

- Right, I'd have to really be a part of their lives, I think, I think right now they're probably not sure of my name, so they're like, "Ooh, they would do it "how I do it?" - That's my uncle?

- Yeah, it's a little much for the amount I'm around.

But to your kids, I'm Uncle J trained. - Yes.

“- We're gonna make sure we make them do this for day one.”

- Yeah. - So, how's Mike as a dad, how's you and Mike? Well, let's get into the relation. - Yeah, so let's do it. - You guys doing well?

- Yeah, we're doing great. We're very well supported. - My extension of that question is, is there something you wish you would have looked for in the dating process that would have informed you for,

or your happy worked out? You know, you can't really do that when you're dating. You're not like, you kind of are like, "Oh, they think they'd be a good father, "they're not responsible."

But is there anything specific that you go, "Oh, thank God this worked out with Mike." - Yeah, I think there's a lot of that. I think, and I don't know if I necessarily was looking for it at the time when I met him when I was like 27,

but now I'm looking back and I'm like, this is a great quality to have in this person. I mean, neither of us are like huge going out super odd. - You're not like party animals. - We're not party animals.

We're not like, I mean, we have our moments, but like, cool, we're cool, we're gonna do shit. No, but we don't even like really like, we kind of like being home. - Yeah.

- And I think that's very helpful now because you spend a lot of time at home. - Right. - So that's been nice, like he's not like, "Oh, I need to go drinking with my friends

"or I need to like, get out of here, "I need to do any of that." Besides, you know, trying to run the marathon. - Is this still running the marathon? - No, he got rejected, which was great.

- I don't. - You know, he, but he opposed to that so easily. - Yeah. - No, he applied. - Sorry, but it's like the lottery.

- You don't have to like qualify. - He just like, they didn't have like a looks competition. - No, it's not like personal.

“That's why I don't feel bad just saying it like that.”

- Yeah, check it, I was like, "Oh, yeah." - Yeah, no, you just like, a lot of, apparently like, they take a very small percent of people over the New York City marathon. - Okay.

- It's a, I wouldn't know anything about it. - He wouldn't think, yeah, he's done going to watch and it seems like they let Eddie. - I think they do. It's like barnyard animal into that race.

- It's like random, but there's ways to get like, to get in, I think if you've done it before, there's a whole bunch of stuff. But if you're just like, any random person applying, there's like a pretty small chance that you get accepted.

So, he was rejected, I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't. - You're doing a little fist pump. - Yes, yeah. - Yeah, but you know what's funny? I feel like he's been trying to get healthier,

which is interesting. - Okay, well, he's got something to live for now. - Now he's got something to live for now. - Not me. - Not me, yeah.

- You, you know whatever. - But just take a lot of energy. - You guys are just dating you. He's like, tragic, fun, sexy, Dale. - Yeah. - You guys with two twins, twipplings.

- Right. - I saw twisters. - Twisters, yes, that wasn't mine. Someone who, someone did a question about someone said if you thought about calling them twisters and I was like, I love that.

- I love twisters so much more than twippling. - Same. - It is really fun. - I'm mad, I'm not wearing a uncle twister hat right now. Like that was a missed opportunity.

Yeah, because if you're, listen, if you're new to the show, I don't know, we like to like keep people up to it. - Sure. - Jordana has twin-ish, you know, twisters, which is one baby with a surrogate

and then had a baby on her own afterwards. - Yeah. - So you have these two? - So there are three weeks apart, yeah. - But so they're not technically twins, they're technically sisters, but they're twin-esque.

- Man, they have a great, fun fact. - Fun fact, and it's built in.

They never have to worry about a fun fact.

- That's true, it's a really one of the greatest gifts you could give someone. - Absolutely, can anybody times in my life they go and you're gonna say one thing about yourself that is fun and interesting and new.

- What did you say? - I don't know hobbies. I have one like an inch and a half longer than the other. - You would say that like it like in the... - I got older.

- Icebreakers, as they say. - As I got older, that was my fun fact or I had a dog that was a model. - Okay, and name solely. - Same stove.

- Yeah, a dog that was a model. - That's funny. - Yeah, a model dog. - Mine was always like, again, I was like, oh, I have eight siblings that was always,

that's an easy one too. - That's great. - Yeah, I want to, what it would be like, but it would be like a dark thing

“where you're like, do I have anything that makes me interesting?”

- Like whenever they first ask it, you go, oh my God, I have nothing on my loser. I'm just like everyone else, you know? - Yeah, especially when you're like eight. - Yeah, I've seen Charlie, I'll set.

- They're all set. - What an interesting thing. - I made them interesting for they even were born. - Great work. - Yeah, that's right.

- Thank you. - So okay, so you and Mike are doing well. You're happy that he doesn't go out and you guys are home bodies. That kind of like fits the couple years of a baby thing.

- Yeah, and he's also like a little bit,

I would always say he's like a little bit of a square.

(laughing) - Okay, they know I would describe Mike. - Oh, you mean I say it to his face. He's like, it's like a good, that's a good thing now. - I'm buying him a hat, the square.

- I mean, I'm like a little bit more, you know, a little type B, a little bit more,

he's on the schedule. He's very much like, things should be done the way they're supposed to be done. - Jordan is just sitting outside and we go to the house. She's sitting outside, leg up on the wall smoking.

- Look at a cigarette. (laughing) - Hey mama, fuck off. - No mama here.

- Yeah, that's basically how the whole thing works for sure.

“- But yeah, I think, yeah, we've been getting along very well,”

but I also think it's funny, like one of, obviously it's not a secret. It took me a while to get to this point. Like I had a lot of issues, like having the babies, but one of the silver linings of that

is that I was able to like set myself up for this period of time where I was very well supported. So I've had, you know, a therapist, a psychiatrist, the baby nurse, like just the house all done. Like, it was a full team.

- Yes, it's been very, like I've been a time to prepare both financially and like emotionally. So I do feel very well supported, which has made the whole process like more pleasant for both of us.

- It's an interesting thing, you know, like the, you know, if you're too young kids running around with your head's cut off, it's a little different than we've been preparing. The nest has been made, you know, us as a couple. We've had trials and tribulations together.

They're like, I would think, you know, the issues that came with having trying to have a kid. - Yeah. - We went out with each other in ways that like, oh, the diaper needs to be changed as like small.

- For sure. And we did, yeah, and we did a couple of like, couples therapy sessions to sort of align before they were born. - Okay, really. - Yeah, and it was helpful.

We liked talked about everything from like the actual birth,

like what we needed from each other to like the first few weeks

after. So I would recommend that. - I don't know. Is that brought up as like, you know, we need this or is that

“brought up as like, this would be a fun thing to like get us ready?”

Like, I'm trying to think of like, how is that sold to one another? - I was something that was recommended by his therapist. - Okay. - Yeah. - So his therapist was like, hey, you know,

you guys are about to have a baby. You would be good to like get on the same page. - Yeah. - Going into this. - To align on like what, you know,

anything that you're worried might come up or like, that he, you know, boundaries or anything that you want, that you want from that person as you're going through labor and the first week's after because it's supposed to, it can be a very like emotionally intense time.

- How many sessions? - Two. - So is it like a package like, is that like something they do or they like, hey, it's your pre, that'd be a great thing for a psychologist listening like they come to the therapist.

- Prenatal package? - Prenatal pack, yeah. - Yeah. - No, I think it was kind of like,

let's see how the first one goes.

And then if there's anything that we like feel like we didn't cover, let's do another one. - There we go. - And that was, and yeah.

“But really it was, I think it was nice to kind of have a space”

with like an objective person to error something like, oh, like what are, like, like when are your parents are going to come over or like, or, like anything you're worried that, you know, I want to make sure I have my space, they've all these people coming in and out.

- They've started in a wrap, but I guess I'm gonna ask questions that maybe the audience would have. Are they giving you hypotheticals? Are they like, parent, you know, you got the baby, parents want to come over, it's 2pm on a Sunday.

- Right. - How do we both feel about this? Is that kind of how it's kind of brought up and then you both give your answer on a page and then you compare now?

- I'm trying to remember. No, it's more of just like an open discussion. I think facilitated by someone who also knows exactly, like who knows almost more than we do about what the experience is like in those first few weeks

and months after. I guess it would be important that that marriage counselor has children. - Yeah. - That's got to be a big question.

- So that they want to ask what pressure points to like, - I would assume either has children themselves or has enough experience talking to people who have it that they know like the expectations. - Okay, this is great.

I'm sure for anyone who's pregnant, great idea. - Yeah, I think it's worth it. - That's a relationship that you found value in it. - I found value in it. I just think it's nice to like have a facilitated time

and space to like talk about those things. And, I mean, we were on the same page about a lot of stuff. It didn't like fully like transform our whole relationship but it was nice to have an opportunity to talk about like, what do we want?

I told you like we have different feelings about like child care and care things like and caregiving and that it's like an easy open space to kind of talk through anything where you might have different views and kind of come together in the same way.

- Where did you guys differentiate the most during these sessions? What's one thing you guys disagreed on in those meetings? - I wouldn't say we disagreed on anything. I think it was more like maybe the other person hadn't thought of it.

like when we're coming back from picking up,

“from getting Charlie, like from the airport”

and we're getting like picked up by his parents and they were like taking us back to our house and they've been watching like our dog. It was kind of like on that day, I was like, I'd like to go home and like not be entertaining.

- Just like someone like your parents over. - Or like if they're being very helpful, it's not even I don't want them over but it's like I want to decompress after this whole. - I don't want to have to raise my eyebrows, which is a thing.

Like your parents come over, I don't want to say please and thank you. - Right. - Even as small as that. - Yes, or like they can, you and your parents can watch the baby.

I would like to go nap without feeling rude. It's funny we are thinking about the love is blind thing with an apping. I was thinking about that a lot. - Right, well you gotta head of it.

- Yeah. - But then they were going out. - It was great, they're very helped. Like the three of them watch the baby. I wanted to go nap but I didn't want to have to feel like

I was being rude. They're like doing something and then I'm - Pull like this out to the door. - Yeah. - And again with family, you don't have to be as polite

but within laws, there is some measure of courtesy to them. - For sure, especially when they're meeting

their grandchild for the first time.

- Totally. - They're doing you a favor, they're picking you up from the airport, they're watching your dog. I don't want to be like, "Buy guys, I'm like out of here." - Right, you also don't want to get in the car

from the airport and your mother-in-law's like, "Let me see that baby, you're like, "Get out of here, "Ranko, stop out there." (laughing) I'm like, "Yeah, you wanna set the tone."

- Exactly, it's kind of like all small stuff that's sort of has to do with that kind of thing. - So what do you do? - So what do you do? - I'm just letting you know a feeling that would be tough

to let you know in that moment. - Right, for sure. And I think there were other little things like, "Oh, I was like, "Oh, in the hospital room." Like, if I want you to go ask the nurse for something,

I know he hates asking for things. He hates being at all confrontational. I wasn't like, "I want you to scream at all the nurses for me." But I was like, I was kind of like, if I need something, I need you to push back on something,

I need you to like, back me and also like be more aggressive than it's your, generally how you would be. - Your default, I need a little bit more, I need you to be a little bit of a warrior for me.

“- You need to go to battle for me a little bit.”

- Yes, if something comes up, I want to know because I know he hates doing that just that if I needed to be done, that he will just get over it and do it. - If you have a note, what was his notes for you?

- What was his notes for me? - I'm perfect. - Yeah, other than keep doing what you're doing kid. It's gonna be tough for him. You're with like a pregnant woman and you're like, well, here's a few things I've had on my mind

and you're like, what, you know, like, I don't know, it's just, I mean, I'm going by the sitcom, you know, hack, you know, the view of pregnant woman but you're like, every sitcom had the woman crushing the guy's hand, you know, like breaking his hand

during the deliverance. - Right. - Can't ask anything. You gotta walk on egg shells. - Well, he's like, can I run the marathon on his head? - Wow. (laughing)

- I'd love to take care of my heart. (laughing) - No, you're gonna die right away. - But it is funny, we have, we have shifted into a couple where he's like, do you mind if I go for a run?

And part of me is like, you don't have to ask me, like, I'm not your, like, mom. - Right. - But part of me is like, oh, it's nice that you ask because I might actually, you might not be allowed

to go for a run. - Right, well, well, things of, it's not that, I guess it goes from, I'm not your mom to, I'm your business partner. - Right.

- These two investments we've made. - That's a great way to look at it. Look at it, like, you're putting in for your PTO. - Right. (laughing) - So, I do have questions from the audience.

- That's here, yeah. - Okay. - Okay. - How has marriage evolved since becoming a family of four,

but actually you're a family of five? Well, let's not forget Ronny. - Can't forget Ronny. - No. - It becomes a lot, like you said, a little bit more, like, a business, then it does,

two people just, like having a great time all the time.

“We have a good time, and that's why I think it's so important”

to be with someone who you can kind of, like, just be around a lot. - Right. - Just, like, do they not, like, can you be with them, like, all the time and they don't annoy you?

It's almost the lowest sum of the dominator of what you need in a partner. - What's something you've learned about each other in this new chapter? Any, any new insight into Mike,

anything new that you've learned about yourself? - I mean, he's a great dad. He likes to be, he wants to be involved in everything, and I think that his, I've told you,

he's always had, like, this little bit of,

like, a sort of traditional cheesy sense where he's, like, he loves Valentine's Day. He loves Christmas. He, like, he likes doing stuff, is gonna be, like, all the dad cheesy dad stuff.

- Yeah, he's, like, really excited to do all the, the cheesy dad stuff. And I'm more excited than I thought I would be, too. I'm like, Valentine's Day, of course, I'm putting on the, the onesies.

- Right, right, well, I don't know. I hate when people say they're a great dad in the first year. - That's true. - I feel like they're a better,

- Fair, you know, it's fair. - Right, like, yeah.

- You can be a good husband in the first year,

but being a good dad, like, yeah. - Not to, I listen. - He's good, he's back to hot, man. - I guess it's, it's fun. It is unfair because, like, if you're like being a good dad,

just seems like, oh, not being miserable when you're around your kids. - Right. - Being, being happy to be around your kids. That's like the bar for a good dad.

- Right, especially in that first year, it's like, good dad, what, doing? - I mean, change his diapers, he's like, don't we all gonna change his diaper? - I don't know, but apparently, like,

dad's in the 50s weren't doing that or something. - Okay, I know. - Low bar? - Yeah, love it. - He comes with me to all the doctor's appointments.

He's like, yeah, he's a, he's a, he's a. - He's here. - Yeah. - Okay, so, what surprised you most about taking time off from the podcast?

I mean, this is all about us.

How did you, what was the surprise, not being on the show?

- I had, like, some foam, though. I think there was a sense of that. Like, I think there was a fear of, like, I think I've talked about this a little bit on benefits. I was a little bit afraid of becoming obsolete.

And I think that's probably relatable to any, any mom who takes maternity leave. Like, are they gonna still need me when I come back? Or like, is it, are they gonna discuss, I was like, again, it was a little worried

you were gonna do too well without me. - Oh, yeah, right, we didn't want that. - Right, we didn't want that. - The time, I didn't wanna be, the chance to hit. I didn't wanna be Tom Brady that here.

- Right, right, you know. - Or wherever they got their eyes out. - True blood threat. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that was my fear, it was gonna go too well.

- People love our dynamic, the show, what we built here.

“- Yeah, that's what this show is all about.”

You know, like anyone could have a dating show, you know, diet and exercise. That's like, all dating advice comes down to it's, the care we have for the listeners and the subject. So I think, okay, so someone asks this,

your kids are Jen Alpha. We're already seeing how different Jen Z is from how we dated. How do you think dating will look for them? Do you imagine apps will still be a part of it? This person really got ahead of themselves.

- Seriously, well, actually they're Jen Beta. - Jen Beta.

- 2026 is the first year of Jen Beta.

It's the new, we're just starting a new generation. - I don't know, we gotta change that name. - Oh, yeah, not as fear. It's not gonna do all of that. - Not great for the in-sales.

- Yeah, I'm a part of Jen Beta. (laughing) - Jen Beta, okay. - How do I think dating will be different for, I mean, how do you think dating will be different?

- I don't know. - Thankfully, they're not dating it. - Yeah, I think it will be. - Listen, AI, they'll be dating an AI robot. - Yeah, I hope dating still,

I hope people still speak to each other. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think that's like a fear like there's, that there's so much screens around everywhere or that there's less human connection,

but they have each other to look at. - It's a, it's a beautiful thing. We're all very happy for you, Charlie Lucy, Mike Ronnie. - Yeah. - How's Ronnie doing? We know that there's been some,

- He's had some adjustment. - Some adjustment. - He's had some adjustment issues. I'm trying to get him. - I, Ronnie, the dog getting neutered and having two sisters come into the fold

at the same time, tough time. - It's been a tough time for him, I feel bad for him. But he's the, - Shout out Ronnie. - Shout out to Ronnie, he's the best one. He's either the best or the worst.

- Okay. - Depending on the minute. - Is it good to have the dog around?

“Do you feel like is it a burden more than it is a pleasure?”

Like, do you see a light at the end of the tunnel where you're like, the dog will be great in a few? - Yes, that's kind of what I'm thinking. Because it is a lot. Like I understand why people don't like to have puppies

while they have new babies, it's a lot. But I, again, I've heard that they melow out after like two or three years. - You're gonna get, I mean, honestly, you'll have one picture of Charlie and Lucy

standing next to Ronnie, you know, or riding him, or whatever, doing something with him and you'll go, this was all worth it. - Yeah, then. - He's got a special place in my heart as a narcissist.

I find that like, it actually, he does give me more almost like attention than them. - Right. He's giving you something back a little bit more. - A little bit more.

He's like obsessed with me, he follows me into every room. Like the cage, like at this age. - It's okay, less about you. - At this age, they are like, they don't really like know the difference

between me and anyone else. - Really? - Just a milk source. - I'm not their favorite person yet. - Yeah, they're not like not their favorite.

They don't really have one, but with Ronnie, he's like, he's pretty into me. So. - This is, I completely agree. - From an ego, from a place of my ego,

he's still plays a big part. - This is great. We are all happy for you. Uncle J. Train. - Yes.

- We clap for you. - Yeah, and we're coming to Florida, so you're gonna beat them. - That's when I'll meet them.

“- You're gonna be there, maybe you should film it.”

- Yeah, if you wish you get you down to Feet. - Maybe you should babysit. - Yeah, I am not gonna babysit. - The two babysit the two of them, that would be a great, how many subscribers by April 26th,

to have Jared babysit the two of them alone for one night? - One night babysit, change diapers and stuff. - You're gonna do all of it. - How funny is everybody? - How many subscribers?

- Let's just get, let's get a challenge. You guys are gonna get it.

- Yeah. - 22,000 on YouTube. - If you get to 25,000 by April. - That's it. - Oh well, that's it.

- That's doable. - We're gonna walk before we can run.

“- All right, if we get to 25,000 subscribers”

by April 26th, we will film me babysitting Charlie Lucy. - For one, Ronnie. - Not Ronnie, he's not coming. - I can't do all of it. - He's not coming, but for one night.

- One night. - We're gonna film it. - You guys get to go out on Atlantic Avenue and Del Rey and leave me at home, I'll be waving. - Yes.

- With the two babies. - I would, I would bake, good money. - Love it. - I mean, it would have to because you'd be the babysitter. - How much do you charge?

- I'm gonna have to check in with a couple teenage girls to see what they're charging. - You would definitely. - And so if on a my neighbor was like, "Oh, did you hire a nanny?"

Like, I'm looking for a nanny. And she's like, our parent's age. I'm like, "What do you mean?" She's like, "I'm looking for like a nanny for like myself." - For like, "To do things around my house."

- It's always your neighbors like in her sixties.

- Yes, I'm looking for a nanny. - Yes, I'm like, "I don't know if it's called a nanny."

“- Yeah, I think it's called a clean-up person.”

- Can't take it's called a jiggalo. She's married. - Okay, I don't know. - I'm looking for a young man to... - She's like, "Take care of me."

- What do you want? - What do you want for a man? - If you know it's like, "You're the CEO of Beth's industry. "You know a lot of young people, bring it out of them." - To come live with me, come with me. - You're okay.

- Yeah. - All right. Well, let's get to your questions, right? - I mean, my check-in is a panna, I guess. - Let's do it.

I have so many questions. - It's been a while. I have a girlfriend now. - I know. - And that's, you know.

- You have a name, can we give her a name? - Emily, we can, we can refer to her. - That's a real name. - That's a real name. - Okay.

- Well, this is part of the weirdness of, you know, the whole story is, not, I don't wanna like, I don't wanna be the person, it's like our story is. So, interesting, wild, amazing. - Our story page.

- How's your our story page? - The our story page. - What would you give it? - Well, I would give it a 10 because it's, you know, as I mentioned on benefits,

I talk about her in the book, walking red flag, which you can see behind me on YouTube. There's three stories that were told about when we dated, we had dated a few years ago and we were in the, you know, the talking phase

and the dating phase and it was getting more and more serious and then I basically was like, I'm not ready. This isn't it, I have like a little bit my stomach. I even called Dr. Naomi, I remember it. - I remember, yeah.

- vividly calling Dr. Naomi to like get advice and talk to her about it.

And I'd never done felt that way again, not to like,

I don't want to like glorify the tale. I kind of looked back on it and I'm like, what was I thinking? Why couldn't I, you know, push through when right now it feels very easy.

You know, I'm going to meet her parents and her sister and her niece tonight and, you know, she and it's funny, like the weird part is about saying her name is, people like are like, are you wearing the hat? - I'll call you.

- It's a little presumptuous of her, right? - I'm going to walk in, Michael J-Train. Yeah, I can't wear the hat. - You don't call me Antficky. - You don't call me Antficky.

- So yeah, it's been, but it's, and it happened pretty quick 'cause it was like, out of the blue, I, you know, it kind of started. And, well, where'd you had you meet? - We met at a show three and a half years ago.

- She was attending one of your shows. - She was at the seller and a comedian was on before me dealing with a heckler and the heckler and they were making fun of the heckler and she was like laughing so hard, she was like crying in the front at the comedian making

fun of the heckler. - Okay. - And then he made reference to, there's a single Jewish guy going on next, you should get with him. Like something like that.

- Oh, that is a good meet, that is a good art story page. - It is quite a story, well then it goes on and on.

And so then we meet basically through the comments

of the heckler video that got posted. - Through the comments. - Because they posted the heckler video like this is like the beginning of posting clips and they're posting clips. - Right.

- You know, she sees it and then there was a DM sent and it didn't go anywhere. - Did you send the DM? - No. - Okay.

- And then, but it didn't go anywhere and then we ended up matching on hinge, going on a date. - Okay.

“- Having like what I remember to be like a great,”

one of my best first dates, the wine bar in the West Village. I think it just closed recently. It's looking up, you know where Apollo bagels is, that wine bar, I think I'm gonna close. That coffee shop is right in front of it.

It's like four inches big. - Johnanna, you barely don't know about it. - I don't know anything. - It's on my island and called Starbucks. (laughing)

- Ouch. - So, Mike and my first date was at a bar in the West Village. - What was it called?

- That was called Highlands, but it was also closed. - Yeah, Sogno Tuscano, it's still temporarily closed.

“Sogno Tuscano, - I'm sure that's how you say it.”

- I'm sure that's how you say it. - Right, exactly. - Sogno Tuscano market in wine bar. It used to be a kind of a good way. I would say it was a good date spot.

And I remember having this like really amazing date

and then it took us a minute to connect again and it was one of those things that I was dating in the way I was dating at the time, which is like, not necessarily like, ready for a full commitment.

- Right, and having to realize that along the way. And kind of going person to person, no matter how great the connection was, I was still distracted. - Yes.

- And then the special came out at the time, 37 in single, I'm distracted by that. And there was a lot of that going on and then I ended up ending it. And we didn't talk for like two and a half years,

just no conversation. And we still follow each other, but like in a, we'd follow each other and I'd see them watching my stories and kind of have these moments

and it would make me think about it. - Right. - And I was doing a lot of comparing and then they reached out because I was going, you know,

I was gonna be in their town for when I did a show. And they're like crazy, but just wanted to check in. Maybe you want to get coffee. - Yeah. - And I was like, and I wanted to text them.

I had mentioned to you.

“- I remember, yeah, maybe I would text them.”

And that's no bullshit. Like, that's the hard part is like, it's funny, like a lot of this stuff. And especially being on a dating podcast where like I would advise for the texts to be sent.

I know that my advice is consistent. - My advice. - Yeah. - Consistent that if you're thinking about someone and you want to send them a text to go get coffee

and it's been a couple years, why wouldn't you? I would give that advice. So it wasn't like I saw the sex and was like, whoa, what a fucking crazy person. You know, I was like, I was like kind of upset.

I was like, I kind of wanted to send that text and I wasn't really, would you have sent it? I don't know if you would have sent it. - I don't know. I don't know if I was, I had the balls.

I don't know. I was really afraid of coming back into someone's life and then having to unbutton that shirt again. Like, I didn't want to be a dick. You know, I'm not trying to make myself into a hero.

I'm just like, I'd rather not know than have to deal with that. And then when we got coffee, it was like, it just kind of was like a rush over my body of calmness and feeling excited

and kind of like seeing how happy they were

“and being like, yeah, like don't fuck that up for them, you know?”

- Did she know who you were when she saw you or how many of you saw her? - Did she know of your work? - Sure, a little bit. - Did she listen to the show?

- No, I don't think so. - Never.

- Okay. - I mean, it's so far away now. - You know, remember, right? - I don't remember those questions being asked, but I know that she was familiar-ish, but not like...

- Not like a super fan. - She had message me 10 times before to like be like, "Hey, I think we'd really a good match, "which has happened with other people." - Was she following you?

- I think she was. - Okay. - And did you discuss like when she reached out to you again more recently when you got back together? - Mm-hmm.

- What was her, like what was she thinking? Like what was her intention when she reached out to you? - It seemed to her intention was just to see how everything was. - To check in. - Okay. - Okay.

- If anything, it was me. 'Cause like we had this conversation, so we get coffee and the coffee was in and she was like, it was purely a catch-up. Like, and what became very weird to me

and something that I'll acknowledge and admit to, is how much more the her watching my stories meant to me than it had meant to hurt a watch? - So she knew things ish about my life, but I was like very much like seeing a story she'd watch

and being like, it imprinted into my brain seemingly more. - Right. - I haven't asked her about that, but like I... I don't know if I want to, I don't think it would be fair. I don't, you know, but every time I would like...

- She probably watched her stories also assuming

you would never even know she watched her stories

'cause you have so many followers. - Right, but I saw it every single time. And I... - Check it out when she muted me. She wasn't watching as much of them like,

when we first ended, I was muted, but then I could see when she would check in. - Right. - And like, I'm talking about like, I went, like, there's so much stories that happened

between when we dated and now, but I felt like she was there the whole time. You know what I mean? Like, I was, you know, I'm talking to her about Australia. She's like, "Oh, you went to Australia.

"Oh, yeah, you were planning that." And I'm like, I was like, yeah, I put up like 30 million stories from there. Again, I'm being... - Right.

- It's embarrassing to say this. But I think this podcast was started

that could be like, no, that's stupid. And I'm like, no, it's not stupid. It all matters. - No, it does not. - Yeah, so like, I just remember being on,

and I told this to her. But I didn't say this at the time. In the beginning it was like, and I went to, you know, I went to Australia, and we went to Can, but Can feels like

it's 100 years ago that we went. - Yeah, that is a long time ago. - But that was something that she like, "Oh, you went to Can't, like, tell me about it." And I'm like, I can't believe I have this full story.

She doesn't know. - A lot to tell her. - Yeah.

- But I always felt like she would know it.

And so we go, I'm like, do you want to... So we're having coffee and catching up, and I'm hearing about her like how happy and how well she was doing, you know? And I'm like, and how bright she looked, you know?

And I was like, as I was like, "Do you want to go get something to eat?" We go get something to eat, and then there's like a 45 minute wait to get something to eat, and then we were like,

"Let's get coffee while we wait." And then like, it kind of, the questions got a little deeper. - Okay. - And I kind of like broke down to her. You know, I had this like kind of breakdown.

- Like public emotionally? - Yeah, like public. - Public, I'd never like a crowd. - Wow. - Tears, all this stuff.

And just about how much I had thought about her.

“And, you know, honestly, I don't even remember”

what she looked like during this. Like I was just like very like caught up and letting her know that. - Right. - 'Cause I just wanted her to know, you know,

that I don't know why. But I, especially 'cause I'd held that in. I, you know, I do a podcast where I talk about my life and dating every week. I don't think this story made sense

to tell on a podcast for me, you know. - At the time. - At the time, before this. I'm saying, it wouldn't be fair. I do try to have some, you know, people,

I, I don't know what people think. But I, I think you can only, you say what you can. This is an entertaining show. This is supposed to be entertaining. And I'm not doing this to try and like,

and also I was trying to get over it. I was trying to like move on and not compare. - Right. - So after this, we connected pretty quickly. And that was that.

- Yeah. - So I don't know what I was like at a, could say. - And I mean, I, I had encouraged you to reach out to her like throughout the years,

“but I think you were though, it felt like,”

there was always like a hesitancy.

So maybe like she needed to do that to kind of like, if you, if you reached out, you might have felt too weird about it or something. Or too much pressure to do anything. - Right.

- Probably. - Yeah, I, I don't know. I, I, I definitely feel I'm in a different place now than I was then when we first dated, I feel really good.

- That's great. - Yeah. - I got a tan. - Okay. - How did she live in the same area as you?

- How do you, how do you, how are you? - I mean, we're figuring this out, you know? - Yeah, we have so many episodes to it. - I can get to it. - I can get to it.

- I can get to it. - But I guess that's the ketchup. - Yeah, it's crazy, I like, went on maternity leave, it came back, you had a, you have a girlfriend? - Well, I didn't want to, you know,

I don't want to like, steal your thunder. - No. - But we did name the relationship Lucy Charlie seven. - Nice. - I love it.

- You know, that's good. - Okay. - I, I'm honored. - No, yeah, it's, it is funny how quick.

- But that, we always knew that.

- I knew that like, once it's, once it was on, are you gonna like move in together, like, we haven't crossed that. - Okay, sorry. - We did yet.

- No, we can keep that. - Try to, like, I'd like for those things to happen.

“- Yeah, you know, I think like the difference now,”

like I, I do, I don't feel like I'm playing ketchup with them, like with her, I don't feel like it's like, you know, there's a fear of like, I guess when you go back with someone, the fear of like, does, do they trust you?

- Oh, that was my question. Thank you for even, for starting it, even before that. - Is, do you think, I guess, I'd have to ask her probably, but like, is there, do you think she has a fear like he left once he could leave again?

- Sure, I would, sometimes I can kind of feel that. And I, I'm, I try to be, you know, you said something about the, you know, some similarity to connect your pregnancy and the babies to this is like, this is, when I, I kind of have this opinion that at 41,

I should be a good partner. You know, or better than I would have been at 31 or 21. You know, like, there's lessons I've learned, there's a lot of things I know, like I can't act like I don't know that, hey, letting someone know that you've dated before,

like, hey, I'm really enjoying this and I have like, I feel really happy here and I don't feel any of that fear that I felt before. Letting them in on that is like something you learn along the way. I wouldn't know to do that at 30 maybe,

but I'd know to do that now.

of the context, like, to give assurance like, hey, the context of us getting back together, I might have to let them know that like, I don't have a lot, I don't have any fear here.

“- Right. - You know, and I think I've been trying to do that.”

And I could, so she just maps it just wonder. - Right. - And in the beginning, like, that's great for her. - I could feel, you know, and I was like, I could feel like a little bit like moments

where I'm like, oh, this is the person that I want to date. - Really go in on that. - Right. - And then I was like, oh, this is the person that's like maybe holding, figuring me out and where my intentions lie in my fears

and if I'm the same guy before, like, but I don't think I was a word, you know, like, I think, you know, something I'm gonna like,

let myself relieve myself of, is that I've never been,

I've never dated dishonestly. Like, you know, I never dated someone thinking, I know I don't wanna be with them forever, but I'm gonna keep in this because I wanna keep fucking. Like, it was never, like, that the mean version of it.

There's the nice version of, like, I know there's not forever, but I don't know how to end it and maybe I should keep going a little longer. Like that happened. But I don't want, you know, I, this idea that, like,

I've learned lessons about how I wanna be.

“And now it's easier to be that person again.”

Like, when we hear from people, my boyfriend's the best guy ever and all these other men fucking suck and every other guy I dated sucked. No, the guy you're dating made a decision that he was really in for this.

- Right. - And now he's really good to you because that's how it should be. - Yeah. - You know, so it's, and all those other guys

are gonna be really good to someone else and you're out there to tell you saying how it should be, they were saying what a piece of shit they are. - Right. And again, there are pieces of shit.

I'm not saying that everyone... - There are, definitely. - There's definitely pieces of shit out there, but I'm just saying, like, this idea. - Comment and Spotify if you are one.

(laughing) - So, I drag on, thanks again, to HBO Max, sponsoring this segment, they got their money's worth today. - Seriously, I have so many more questions, but we have endless amounts of episodes to do

in the future. - We're gonna get to all of them. - This show will go forever.

- Yeah. - You heard it here first.

- Never leaving. - Euphoria's back for season three. Five years later, the characters you know are now getting power-faith and ambition in the real world. It's bold, visceral, and genuinely unlike anything else

on TV right now. Don't miss the third season of Euphoria starting two time Emmy winners in Daya, premiering April 12th on HBO and HBO Max with new episodes every Sunday.

(upbeat music) - I'm Teresa and my experiences with all entrepreneurs started a top-of-the-five episode. I'll end the top-of-the-five episode

in the first day, and the platform will make me no problem. I have a lot of problems, but the platform is not one step away. I have the feeling that Shopify has a platform that can only be obtained. Everything is super, simple, integrated and useful.

And the time and the money that I can't in other words invest in. For everyone in vaccination. - Now, the cost of testing on Shopify.de. - A double-chishbar, a promise

and a coefficient of $9.90, and you'll notice that it's worth it for you. You can stick maximum, minutes, yet it's $4.90 by McDonald's. Unforpentish, price in film, and tiny, and then restaurants. - Okay, so Jordana, welcome back.

We're gonna do, let's get into it. - We do. - We gotta show to do, before we do, I'm on the road. I got road, I'm still doing stand-up. - Yes, you didn't just, like, become a house husband.

- No, I'm not, I'm not just a house husband anymore.

“No, I do a lot of different things, listen, what do I do?”

- I do stand-up, I do impressions, I, if you're listening now, what's the deal? - I do, voices, you know, Mrs. Depp, I do. - I do, voices, what's the date today of this episode? - April 1st, April Fool's Day.

- It's, was this whole relationship, right? - Oh my God, yeah, no, I'm not in a relationship. I'm actually single. - Psych, April Fool's, all that sweet stuff about learning and loving and becoming a new person.

- Made it up, stupid. - Can you imagine? - That would be so fun. - So fun. - Confetti things again.

- That would be so funny. - Oh, my God. - Oh my God. - Yeah, please, tell your mom's not to DM me anymore. (laughing)

That's our first fight, the April Fool's.

- Love it, I love it. - I am gonna be in Tempe, Arizona this weekend. St. Louis, Missouri. Jonah St. Louis, a Norwalk Connecticut, Vegas, Las Vegas, Nevada. LA, Los Angeles, gotta sell that show out.

That's for the Netflix is a joke festival, Jacksonville, Austin, Texas, West Hampton Beach. - Ooh. - Maybe you'll come there? - Yeah.

- Okay, West Hampton Beach. - That's a 4th of July weekend, July 5th.

- So that could be a fun weekend. - I would. - Okay, and then I'm gonna Portland Maine. I'm going back to Portland Maine. I love Portland Maine.

- So I'm gonna be all over this great country of ours. Come to ushowjardfree.com. Also the book is coming out.

“April 1st is my 16 year anniversary doing stand-up, you know that?”

- Wow. - I'm gonna start it on April Fool's day. - I started it, it's very apt. - A fool for doing it. That's what I said on the day I did it.

Yeah, it's 16 years of comedy. - Wow. - So congratulations. - Congratulations. - Thank you.

So yeah, you can go see a 16 year veteran of stand-up. - Did it every night? - Yes.

- And then his first rodeo.

- No, that's a message to all you go into. Other people's shows were just trying this out. - Yeah, you get what you pay for. This is gonna be a 16 year act. - Yes, but your tickets are still affordable.

- Very affordable. (laughing) - And you can rent something for that. - You get what you pay for, but my tickets are very cheap. - Oh, yeah, you get what, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- It's five to five that whole thing. - Listen, also the book is in pre-order. - I am so excited to get my grubby little hands on one. - I got it again. - I've been waiting.

I saw Sammy post a story of one and I was, Mike was like, "Wow, Jeremy must hate you." He gave Sammy a copy that you didn't get one. And I was like, "Yeah, you know what? "Where is my car?"

And then I found out she stole it. - She stole it. - Yeah. - She was her grubby little hands. - And then I relaxed.

- Yes. - She stole it. She took it out of here.

She really was very complimentary of the book.

I publishes weekly, which is like, that's not like cooldudes.com. - Well, publishes weekly, you know what, it's cooldudes. - Well, it's cooldudes.com, give it.

- Two boners. (laughing) So, I, but publishes weekly is like, the way it was explained to me. So I'm learning about the book world.

You already know about it. You're a New York Times bestseller. - Yeah, I didn't want to sit and out. - What's it like? - I need to become a New York Times bestseller.

I want people to like address me as that. - Yeah. - For me. - Instead of Doctor Freed, I'd be New York Times bestseller and Jared Freer.

- Right. - So, like Academy Award winner. - That's right. So, I need you to go. - Are you gonna put it in your bio?

- Have some fun with me. - New York Times bestseller, mama, to Uncle to two. - Uncle to two sisters? - To Twisters. - Yes.

So, no, go pre-order and if you go pre-order and you send it to a friend, I'm doing a little bit of a special. You can pre-order it. If you send me the receipt of pre-ordering

and who you're sending it to and one fun fact about you in the friendship, I'll make a video that you can send with. - Like a cameo, kind of like a cam, right? - Okay.

- All sent is just DME, a picture of the purchase order, and then... - I'll send you my screenshot. - I pre-ordered mine months ago. - Well, it's who, maybe you're sending it to a friend.

“If you want to send this book to a friend,”

which here's the thing about the book.

It's funny. - It's all different. - It's all different. - It's all different. - It's very fun.

- And here's the publisher's weekly, which is a librarian. - Are you gonna relax on the anti-reading? - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no.

- There's an audio book too, 'cause you can listen. I'm doing the audio book now. That is a beast. - Yeah. - I never did, I never voiced,

we have an audio book, but it wasn't voiced by us. - Well, that's, I mean, good for you, because I'm doing this. It, I have to go in and like perform. Like I'm, I go in like Hamlet with my friend.

- You're like Carrie Bradshaw, when she does the thing and then she starts crying, when she reads about big dying. - I told you, I guess. - Well, doing the audio book.

- You really are Carrie Bradshaw. - There's too many parallels. There's too many, but you go remister, and are you, or are you Mr. Pick? Are you Carrie or Pick?

Let us know in the Spotify comments if you think Carrie is Carrie or Mr. Pick. - Here's the review. It's a friendly and refreshingly blunt resource for exhausted dinners.

- Love it.

“- I think that's like as good a review as I can get.”

- Yeah. - 'Cause that's what it is. It is for an exhausted data to feel renewed again. - I have a good segue in that a lot of, I've been reading a lot of children's books

to the babies, even though they don't know what I'm talking about. - Is that something they tell you to do? - They tell you to play Tov and... - Well, there's like, they tell. - No, my voice, does one of them know my voice?

- They might, she might, we'll see. - We'll see if she looks at her Lucy. - Lucy, what is the... - Okay, so Lucy's the one I like more. - Okay. - That's the one that knows me.

- That's enough, yeah. - Charlie, I gotta get to know. - Lucy's a tougher critic that we'll see if she really is. - Maybe that's why. - Could be.

- She's what I mean. - I'll give you feedback. - Complain about stuff. But I've been reading some children's books to them because you're supposed to speak to them, so they learn how to speak English.

- Oh my, but like you can't... - Switch to Chinese, it's probably better for them right now. - I don't really know what to say to them. I don't really like fucking telling about my day, so but the book kind of gives you something to like say.

And they're, that Jimmy Fallon, I don't mean to be a hater, but he wrote two, hugely best-selling children's books called "Everything is Mama" and "Everything is Dadda." - Okay. - They are terrible.

- Oh no. - They're like three words each. - Tudana, I have to ask to go on this show.

I'd listen, it's your review, it's an honest review.

“- His show is great, he's very funny, this book sucks.”

(laughing) - So there's no words in it? - No, there's like four words in it. - It's like, I mean, it shows you. This is kind of like, this is why you shouldn't listen

to a podcast by someone who started it 'cause they had a following. - Yeah. - You know, you shouldn't read a children's book who started it because they had a following.

It's being sold under the name Jimmy Fountains 'cause he can sell some books. - And so everyone's like, everyone gives it as a gift. They're like, oh, Jimmy Fountains, she likes comedy. Like, take this book literally.

If there's one word on every page, - Yeah, you can't say you wrote that. - I know, it's like, they picture of a bee. Bee. Mama.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - I'm like, I can, it's in, I was like, I can't believe this is a best-selling book just because it has this name on it. It's crazy.

- Well, they should everyone who bought me that book, which was most of the book. - Well, it's at the front of the aisle. It's the, you know, it's, it's big book, you know? Like, it's, this is why, again, if you're listening

and you enjoy this show and we like, say to you, hey, go pre-order the book. Like, we wanna, like, we put a lot of work into these things. - We do. - We, you know, we're not just writing Mama on a page

with a picture of a bee that I didn't even draw. You know, why is that's crazy? He's just making dough. - It's crazy. - How much money does Jimmy Fountains need?

I don't know, someone was probably like, we're gonna write this book, just put your name on it. - Oh, that's exactly what I mean. - Yeah. - It's very irritating.

Like, I was like, oh, it's gonna be a fun, it's gonna be a funny children's book. I'm so excited. - Right.

My goal was always to get famous enough.

“I think when the moment you're done making money”

is when you're the voice of a cartoon animal and a Pixar movie. - Yes. - 'Cause I always thought that was like the best job in the world.

- So you just go in, you read it. You don't have to get dressed, no makeup. You know, they sit in a booth and you, and then you go on the tour, the press tour, it's just you next to your cartoon version of you.

Like, I'd be next to what's slug. - And you get paid like the same amount as if you were like, we're in a real movie. - Probably more. You get part of the toys, you get part of all that stuff.

Like, David, you'd be a good, you'd be a good, you'd be a good children's movie voice. - That's the end of my career. - Okay. If I ever got big enough to be in a children's movie

where I'm a cartoon, I'm not going to let it anymore. - I'll do select cities. - Okay. - I will love you there. - And I will keep my tickets cheap.

There's, I only need so much. I just need, I already have thought this out. - Okay. - There's a house in Del Rey that I would really like to have near the beach.

I don't even have to be on the beach. You just moved, you're looking-- - I'm already looking. - I'm getting real, real estate now. - I'm on.

- I want a tycoon. - I'm going to be the tycoon of Del Rey. I, there's a lot of things from Del, I've become real rich. - I need to go to Del Rey to see if I need to long beach it up.

- I think that. - You might, because there's no tall buildings near the beach. - Okay, no high-rise condos? - Not, there's one. - Who do I need to evict?

(laughing) - And bulldoze their home and build a high-rise condo. - Do it out of the monopoly woman. - Yes. (upbeat music)

- This episode was a big catch-up episode, but we're gonna still play a game. We're gonna play Red Flag Del Reyker. What the show is known for? You date someone, you go on one day.

They do something. Is it a red flag, you notice it and it's fine? Or is it a deal breaker? - Yeah, and it's sight on scene. - Yes, let's see.

All right, I'm gonna read our first one.

- Go for it. - Hello, big fan. Red Flag Del Reyker. - Doesn't ask me if my cat is okay. Context, we were supposed to be for coffee last Friday

and an hour before he canceled because he got called into work, which I completely understand. We rescheduled for the next Friday and then I had to cancel

because I had to take my cat to the emergency bed. I gave some reschedule options and he didn't ask. Not once if my baby is doing okay. I even tried to give him more of an inn by providing a brief update.

Still nothing. Not even, I'm glad she's okay. I'm seriously considering canceling all together because it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. What do you think?

Red Flag Del Reyker, he doesn't ask my cat is okay. And thankfully she sent the screenshots

“because these are important, especially for this kind of thing.”

You be him, I'll be her. - I'll be him. I'm looking forward to Friday. Sorry, I had to reschedule on you. - No worries, it happens.

I'm looking forward to it as well. I hope you have a good week. - Okay, then on Wednesday. - That was the initial canceling by him, now she's back. - Okay, Wednesday two days before their Friday date.

She texted him, "Hey there. " Unfortunately, I need to rain check our date Friday. "I unexpectedly had to take my cat to the emergency bed today "and we'll need to come into the clinic Friday "as opposed to working from home like I usually do."

Any chance you have some time over the weekend? - No worries, I'm free Sunday before five. - Sorry for my delay, Gigi is okay. She has pancreatitis, but we'll make a full recovery. Smiley face.

I have a brunch at 10. - Oh, Gigi's fine. - Consider all of us not caring. - Yes. - I have a brunch at 10 30 at the Penrose diner.

I could meet you around 12 30 or one. - That works for me.

- Yes, so what do we think here? Is there a red flag or a deal breaker? He didn't ask about the cat who-- - I'm assuming-- - This is a first date.

- First date?

- I'm assuming this is the first date.

- First date, I wouldn't ask you there. - Well, you know, it's funny.

“I was thinking about this and I have dated many a woman.”

And this happens as you get older as a data. - Yeah. - You date these women with pets where I'm asked to be as loving with the pet. More loving with the pet than I am with the person

I've gone out with. - Like when you go to their apartment, it's after the third date and you're like, yeah, we're cool, but then this pet comes out, oh, oh, oh, you gotta go look at your roofers and I gotta go, oh,

and I feel weird. Like I'm not there with the pet. - I don't even know if it's a good dog. - I got that I want Gigi to die, but-- - I get both sides.

- I get right. - Having a dog now, I get both sides. - Yeah. - If I know it, 'cause with your kids or with your dog, you'll get, it's a turn on when someone is like

into the thing that you're really into and like loves your, someone loves your kid. You love your kid. It feels like something you haven't got. And someone loves your dog.

Like if they do really love dogs or they love your dog and I don't really, and I say this is someone who doesn't like all dogs. I like my dog. - Yeah.

- But if, and so I'm probably like not that person, who would meet some guy's dog and be like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with the dog. I'm obsessed with your niece and nephew where I'm obsessed with this thing.

- This happened on the flight yesterday. There was a dog next to me, very cute dog on the flight. They're sitting aisle with their owner and I'm sitting aisle. There's two different types of people.

There were there's three. There's eye-hate dogs. - Yes. - And we're like, I'm annoyed by your dog. - Right.

Or there's the people that were next to me on my left. They're like, oh look at the dog. It was like a daughter and her dad. Oh my God, we have one just like it. I'm in aisle, I'm the third type,

which is let's see how he does on this flight. - Right. - I'm not just sold on this dog. The dog was very good. By the end of it, I said to the owner,

great work out of you. - Wow. - It was great. - I'm impressive. - Good job out of the dog.

And there was an older person behind me that said, didn't make a peep the whole flight. I'm with that old person. - I will review after the flight. - The plane.

- You don't love dogs. - The dog dependent. If that dog was running around and being a terror, you're gonna hate my dog. (laughing)

- Well, don't have it on a flight next to me. But I, so again, so when you're in this position of like that third type, which is this guy seems to be, he's not being like, I hate Gigi, the cataract.

- It's also never fucking met him.

- Right, but it is reading the text.

“It is weird to, honestly, it's as weird of hard to be like,”

and Gigi's gonna be okay, don't worry. - Right, that's violent. - I think it's more about, for me, it'd be a red flag of someone volunteered that night and asked.

- Right, it's like, it's a little bit, she's a little bit the problem. - A little bit, yeah. - 'Cause it's like, okay, what do I have to do? I have to be like, I've been praying for Gigi every night.

- Right. - So happy to find out. - So concerned. - Also, here's the other thing, if I haven't met you yet, I'm just assuming any excuses like,

potentially an exaggerated thing, 'cause you just like couldn't, didn't feel like going out. - Totally. - Which is fine. - Gigi the cat with pancreatic cancer.

- Right. - Like, I'm feeling under the weather. I would be like, I guess I would be like, hope you feel better, but I wouldn't ask you any questions about it.

If I haven't met you, I don't get, for me it's like, if I haven't met you yet, I don't really care that much about anything that I know in your life. - I say that, 'cause I'm with you.

I spread this and I said, yeah, I don't give a fuck about Gigi. And then I read the text and I was like, Jared, how would you text back? I would say happy to hear Gigi's okay.

- Right. - I would say hope everything's okay. But I wouldn't ask one question. - This isn't a deal, right. This is, I wouldn't, right.

I'm with you, no question fine. No acknowledgement is like, it's almost like he's trying to prove a point. So you're getting a certain type where it's like, I budged for no cat,

unless I get to know the cat. Like, you gotta fake it a little bit. - You haven't even gone on a first date yet. You don't say well, I'm happy with the cat's okay. Can't wait to see you on Friday.

Like, you're still going out with them. Are you asking for them to take your leave you or are you trying to be good on the date? - Right, I think it is trying to, to me this reason,

he's just trying to get to the date and then hold aside if he's like, - Right. - You're gonna be asking questions about the cat. - Which, again, should we appreciate that more

than the person who tries to win a date? To me, this is a person who has no interest in winning a date,

“which might be the person you should want to go on a date with.”

- I think this is kind of closer to what I would do than be asking a lot of questions,

especially if I've never met that if I'm to an app date,

never met them. I'm kind of like, let's just see if we like each other and then I'll ask you on the date how your cat is. Like, I don't want to get into it now.

- Right, that's why she's more the deal breaker than he is because she's trying to test him.

- She does the first text about her cat

and then no worries I'm free Sunday before five. At that point, you've already gotten what he is. And then she's like, well, she's not gonna ask about Gigi. And then she goes into Gigi is okay.

Now she's testing him. - Which is annoying. - To see if he'll break, she's annoying. - Yeah, I might not go if I were him. I would both, both people should go.

Both people are red flags in their own special way. They just might not be a match.

“I think like, if we saw him like on a percentage scale,”

like a heat chart of like, you know, oh, you two are gonna be great together. Versus like this date might be a disaster. We are moving more towards disaster than we are great. - Yeah, she probably should not go.

- I'd say chances are low that they are a married couple years from now. And I would agree with that, although who knows? Let us know. (upbeat music)

- Let's do another red flag or deal breaker. You're ready, last one. Jane, Jay, love the pod, love you all. Father, Father, congrats on the twiddlings, et cetera, twisters, twisters.

We're going right, twisters now.

- So it would be twubbers, if they were brothers? - That doesn't sound just good. First, trouble word. - I have to admit something very embarrassing. - What didn't you know?

- No, this is like a very personal thing that I'm gonna, I'm like truth. - The safe space. - Is it safe? - Yeah.

- Is it safe for everyone here? - Yeah. - Is this insulting to someone? - No, it's insulting to me. - Okay.

- Do you re-ware Jeans? - Me? - Yeah. - Of course. I thought that was only people with body issues

and you don't have body issues.

“I think we were wearing jeans like a body issues.”

- Like where are the same pair of jeans more than once? - Right, 'cause you don't know. - Like without washing it? - With that before we washing it. - Oh, yeah, I wear jeans a lot before I wash them.

- How many times would you wear jeans? - Probably like a good like five or six times. - Five or six times. It depends on the jeans, rag and bone jeans, not a re-wareable jean.

- Okay. - They don't keep their structure. It's a little too loose. I look like I'm Gen Z. - So you don't like to wash it all?

- I don't, these jeans I didn't wash. I wore them last night and I just had a realization. - I think that's okay. - I'm not insulted by this. - Can I do, I don't think that's disgusting.

- I just, as I was sitting here, I, I, I, this is crazy. I'm gonna put, can I just, everyone? I'm gonna put my hands in my pants for two seconds. - In your pants.

- Okay. - Okay. - And not my underwear. - Okay, HR. - HR permission?

- Okay, hands on one. - That's what I'm gonna do. - Right. (laughs) - I've had a good run here at Batches.

(laughs)

“But I just, I'm telling you, I didn't even,”

- Oh, wow. - Okay, they're going in. - They're going in. - Okay. (laughs)

- Don't get the sound by it. What are you doing? Did you leave something in there? - I just realized that my underwear, - Stop it.

- I wore, with the jeans. - This was not planned, right? - Yes. - We're in my pants from the night before, but I was sitting here and I'm going,

"Why does it feel like I shit my pants?" And I'm like, "This is crazy." - Wow. - Did we send those to one lucky listener? (laughs)

Did you do the cat? I mean, I, 'cause I live in fear of the dryer. So like I, but this is happen before. You ever put on pants, then you realize

the underwear is in the pants? - I've had socks in the pants, and not realized the socks in the pants. - I haven't had a-- - There's a lot to be in there.

I walked here from the hotel. - I guess it was in the leg. - Or just like in the, I felt it as I was sitting here. - I thought. - Did you have underwear?

- Yes, I'm wearing underwear. That's why I said I'm like, "There's something extra in here." - Okay, so you put them back on. And you're like, "You're in like,

"you're not in your home, you're in a hotel, I guess." - Right. - I said put on the jeans, but to get from the, I'm six blocks away. - Yeah.

No, it's impressive. You were like comfortable enough to not stop? - I literally was sitting here like fidgeting in the seat. - I could see that happening to me. I'm not, I don't think you're crazy.

- Yeah. - I was pretty embarrassed. - I mean, it's funny that you just took it out like you were a fucking clown. (laughing)

- I was like, "Oh my God, I can't, "I think there's extra underwear." - Right, like, or deal breaker, someone does that on a date. (laughing)

She's like, "Good day, one second, I'm just gonna..."

- I'm putting my hands in my bathroom. - That's the way I did it. I'm putting hands in pants. - Yeah. - I'm going to grab something out of the eye.

- Are you into it? - You probably would be. - I'd be into it. I would love the vulnerability. - Yeah.

- I'd be like, oh. - In the way I hope the listeners love the my vulnerability. - I feel like I'm sitting here. - I think it's great. I've done, like, my shirt inside out.

Something's bad. - It's not that bad. - It's a little different than what just happened here. - It's a little weirder that you didn't notice, but like, it'd be glad you wore a new underwear.

- Yeah. - The underwear I changed. I washed, pretty after I've reused. - That's not something I can admit.

- But that's a good question about the jeans.

- Would you wash jeans after I've reused?

“- How many times do you wear jeans before you wash them?”

- Four to five. - Four to five. - Five, five, six. - Five, six. - That's everyone, everyone goes,

we're all just sitting here, fearing a wash. - I don't think you're supposed to wash. - You're not supposed to. - Yeah. - Ever?

- No, you're supposed to wash them. - You're right. - You're definitely not supposed to dry them. - That's something people with the shape made up to make other people with legs that shape feel better.

I think, and I think those people. - You'd dry them, I don't dry them. - I'd dry them, I just do it. - Okay. - Well, I guess we'll do one more red flag.

If you would like these to send to you, we should keep them here. - Right, we'll hang 'em up, we'll put them in a poster. - We should save it for like one of your shows, and then like, you know, when the woman takes her broth

and throws it into the audience? - Yeah, I don't think the artist throws there underwear to the audience. - Oh, you're right. - You're right.

(laughing) Who wants to bang the artist? - To the point, yeah. - Throw the other way. (laughing)

- Okay. - Righty, I'll save it for my next luminous concert. - Thank you. - We're writing in with a red flag. Hey, oh, is that what the woman is?

- Yes, I have a thumbs up. - Writing it with a red flag deal breaker from my friend.

27 females she went on a first day to a wine bar

and total was $45. When he paid, there was an iPad with 20% 22% and 25% options. He selected custom tip and tiped $5.

“Some factors here, not sure if they are important or not.”

He's 30 years old. You respond, do you think these are important factors as I give them? He's 30 years old, does that matter? - Yes.

- They only had two glasses of wine, so all the waitress did was pour the glasses, but they were brought to them at a table. - No. - That doesn't matter.

- No, not to me. - He lives in the West Village with a roommate, already a member of a workout studio that isn't cheap and mentioned. He's thinking about joining Equinox as well.

Does that matter? - Somewhat, I don't know what do you think. - No, I don't think. - Show us he's not that poor.

- Right, but, okay, he was working at a start-up

that failed recently, so currently on employed technically. He went to an Ivy League school. He's from Greenwich, Connecticut. I said it was a deal breaker. She said it was a red flag.

Would appreciate the final say from YouTube. Thanks, a cheap date. So what do you think? Should you tip better than $5 on a $45 attack? - Yes.

- That's how it, that's the, you should tip 20%. On a, if you have a waitress service, you should tip 20%. - You would think, right?

- Right. - Right, I mean, - Did he go up to the, did he go up to the, they were brought, if they, if someone brings something to your table,

I feel like you need, you gotta go 20%. - I think so. - It is weird to hit the, I mean,

tipping is very confusing. I do, I do sympathize with that, but I think this war is more. - Taking the extra step to hit custom, versus just hitting 20% when it's on there,

to go less than what they are letting you do easily. - Yeah. - Is a statement about who he is. Now, he might tip 15%. - Because, this is 10%.

- Right? - Is it? - It's not. - Not what? - 14, oh, is it 15%.

- It's 14% but it is actually 15% because some people tip, do it on the, so I actually look this up. This is what, some people do it on the pre-tax amount. - Okay.

- So, no, but I keep that in mind when I'm tipping, like if I'm doing 20% and it's like, do you tip it like a coffee shop? - I have become, I'm not saying this to like be performative, whatever.

- I have become. - Show us how generous you are. - I have become a big coffee shop, pepper. - Okay. - I believe in it.

- 20% I go to Peravita in Del Rey on Atlantic Avenue most days and they do a 5% included tip

“and then they ask if you want to give more than that.”

I add 10 onto that. So, it's 15% on the coffee on top of the five that they're, but I have become, when that pad comes out of the barista, always tipping. - The older I am, the more I'm tipping, I will say.

- I just don't think that they're trying to get us. Like I don't think anyone there is getting rich off of this tip. We should be getting angry at the corporation that's not paying people enough where they say we need a tip, but you don't even know if they're paying them well or not,

you're just assuming they're not. - Right. - But I would say if someone's working out of place and they're pulling the tips with a bunch of people and they're all working hard to try and make this right,

I don't know, I'm just like, - Yeah. - Why is this my cross to bear? - I don't know. - That's why I wish they would just include,

like they do in Europe, they just pay them more

- But then we wouldn't be having this fun,

you know, judgment festival we're having now. - The tipping is a very judgmenty thing. - It is, well because this guy, to go into delivery people, I don't know how much to tip anyone.

- Well, it used to be like, I mean, it used to be. For me, it was like three bucks on a delivery, like you'd give $3 cash. I remember growing up babysitting for my brother.

- Oh, I see. - It comes, here's three bucks in addition to the, you know, the $15 it was. - It was $3 for a really long time. - Right, three dollars was like the amount growing up.

And then the minute we went to this digital world of like, including tip and it became less, like you're giving something. So I don't know, my connection between money and tip and has changed, my brain chemistry.

“- What would you tip on this $45 to two glasses of wine?”

- What'd you do, 20%? - 8 to 10. - Okay. - It would range, it would be from 8 to 10. But I looked at the sign, what's that? - So 9, 9, but I would hit the button.

- I would hit the button, and I would hit the middle button.

- Yeah, especially if I was on a first date.

- Well, this goes back to, do you wanna date someone who's trying to look good or being themselves? - I guess so, right. I guess it's similar to the cat situation.

- This is very similar to the cat situation. Do you wanna be on it, and I think it's something I've thought about myself, where the amount I tiped was me looking to get, to win the date.

It wasn't because, let me, you know, I hope she sees this so she thinks I'm rich so that I could bang tonight. - Right. - And I think that's gotta be more normal

than my versions more normal than the guy who's tipping to bang. I think most people, if they're tipping higher, it's to look, I'm a good person just so you know I'm a good person. - Right, even to themselves.

- Right.

“- Yeah, I think it's tough, because I think we have that,”

it's so easy to sort of put that on someone as a personality trait, and that feeling of like, do I wanna be liked for being authentic, or do I wanna be liked because I'm like trying? I think about that constantly.

I think about that when I'm like debating how much makeup to put on, to come into this record. - Right. - Like, do I wanna just be who I am, or do I wanna like put on a little show for the shirts?

- Sure. - Maybe a little bit of both, maybe more depending on the day, I've worn like a hat in here, 'cause I'm, could just couldn't manage doing my hair. - Right.

- You know, it is, you're right. It does translate to all forms of life. Like, what am I doing something 'cause I want to, or 'cause I have to, because I think I have to. - Should I be right, is it more authentic,

but or is effort more value? - Right, I think to me, I don't want to be on a date with someone who's ego is in the way. I don't know 'cause my ego's in the way, too, when I'm trying to be good.

I don't know, is it equal? Because for him to put custom tip to put less. That is him saying, I don't tip 20% when it's just two pores of wine. - Right.

- And does that say something about you? - Right, and I think it does say something about him. To me, if the game was say something about him, not say something about him, statement or no statement, then I would say he's trying to make a statement.

That would be mine. - I think he's trying to make a statement. - Absolutely. - Oh, to me, I'm kind of like, he's just not the most generous guy.

- Cheep, my statement is I care about money more than you, or more than this, I care about money more than I care about you thinking I'm a good person for tipping. - Okay. And in that scenario, I'm like, this person is thinking

to, I would be, it would be kind of a deal breaker for me now, though. - Be a deal breaker, yeah. Because I don't need that. This is an easy, breezy, beautiful, cover girl day.

Like, this should be drinks and worth the 22%. And let's move on, you say three bucks, right? - Right, yeah, I think for the $4 that it is, that he wouldn't do it, even if it was just, even if he didn't really want to do it,

it was just to impress you. I think that's really like the main, he, he's sacrifice, he wouldn't pay $3 to impress you.

“Is what he's saying, if you want to look it in a certain way,”

'cause I tried to come to his side. I did write this out. - I mean, do you tip more when people are looking at you? - Yeah. (laughs) - That's what I'm saying.

I think most people would tip more, yeah, or do something more when people are looking at them. And this guy's trying, looking at someone

he's on an actual first date with and doesn't give a shit.

- Right, so that's who you're dating. So when it doesn't give a shit about compromise and things like that, 'cause I tried to make him not a bad guy. You did. I was like $45 means it's a $41 tab, actually,

because $399 in state taxes.

- There's three, I wouldn't look the same,

'cause I was like, what's 20% of 41? 20% of 41 is $8.20. - Okay.

“- He tip $5 on what he should have given, if it was 20%,”

if you believe 20% is the number, it should be $8.20.

So he saved himself $3.20, does he know that? Probably not. - For example, for his own reputation. - Right, he needed to feel like he saved money and didn't get fucked.

“And do you wanna be on a date with someone who's like,”

who's basically screaming in the world?

Yeah, ain't gonna fuck me. - Right, would you rather be on a date with that guy or someone who just can't do math? They thought that was 20%.

“- I'd rather be the person who can't do math.”

Like a dumb, likable person versus a douchebag. - Right, he just doesn't-- - Smarty, smarty pants, well, we saw dating again. - We did it, so good to be back. So glad to be back, I missed you guys.

- I missed, we're so happy to have you back. - Yes, so glad to be here. - We're gonna be back on Friday, Friday feels. - We'll be back then, bye. Boom.

(upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Batches.