Brandi Carlile helps us say goodbye to Bill Kurtis!

Thankfully, over at pop culture happy-hour, it's literally our job.

“We break down what's actually worth watching, listening to, and pretending you already knew about.”

So the next time someone says, "Did you see that?" You can say, "Yeah, obviously." Follow NPR's pop culture happy-hour wherever you get your podcasts. From NPR, NWB Easy Chicago, this is "Wait, Wait, don't tell me the NPR news quiz." I'm legendary anchor man, Bill Curtis. Well, where are we?

Yeah. And here's your host at the Stuttlebaker Theater of the Fine Arts Building in Chicago at Illinois Peter. Say go. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. We've got a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the fabulous singer,

songwriter, Brandy Carlisle, but first. Back in 2014, when our original judge and

scorekeeper Carl Castle retired, someone suggested that we should ask Bill Curtis to succeed him, and I said, "Are you nuts?" Why would Bill Curtis, groundbreaking journalist and giant of broadcasting squander, his harder and reputation doing our silly little show every week? Well, today, either Bill is stepping down after being the hilarious baso profundo soul of our show for 12 wonderful years, or he finally came to his senses. So, if you want to be one of the last people

to benefit from his wisdom and/or his mistake, give us a call. The number is 1 AAA, wait, wait, that's 1 8 8 8 9 2 4 8 9 2 4. Now it's time to welcome our first listener contest and how you run, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Tiffany Rush, Brand, I'm falling from Dayton,

“hi, hey, Dayton is a beautiful place, I think we're going there later on. What do you do there?”

I am a mom of two, and in my free time I'm a Kiankian dancer with Madam Gigi's. I have a hold on, wait a minute. Oh, another one. There's so many. Yeah, I really, I got to talk to our screener as two many, Kiankian, wait a minute, you're a Kiankian dancer like the like the Mulan Rouge Kiankian, Can you come a day and a day and a day and a day and a day and a day and a day and a day?

Exactly like that. Wow. Is there a lot of call for Ken Ken dancers these days and today is a economy? It's a surprising amount of demand. When you're in town, you should stop by.

I'm making a note here. Absolutely. Stephanie, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week.

First up a comedian who you can see in chat and new get 10 to see on June 24th at the

“show, the Muslims are coming with equally threatening friends.”

It's McGeen Farsad. Hi. Thank you. Next, it's the host of the Daily Podcast T.B.T.L. in the public radio variety show live wire, which will be live at the Research Center for the Arts in Beaverton, Oregon,

a May 29th. It's Luke Burbank. Hey there Tiffany. And you can see her June 26th in Atlanta, Georgia at the Bucket Theatre and hear her on her podcast nobody listens to ball of pound stone.

It's Paul Poundstone. Hey. Hey, Paul Poundstone. Hey, Tiffany. Welcome to the show.

You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify and explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voice mail. Are you ready to go?

I'm ready. All right.

Your first quote is from an NPR news story this week.

It first is surging and the tiny bulbous lagoon. That was NPR's annoying way of saying that his food prices go up. More and more people are eating what? Is it chickpeas? It is chickpeas and other beans.

That's the answer we were looking for. That's a magical fruit. Yes. Economists right now are pointing to us somewhat troubling indicator. Americans are buying lots and lots of beans.

I was worried when I saw the New York Times say seven delicious meals you can cook over a trash can fire. I love that this is an economic indicator. We've been like focusing on the price of gas so much. We should have been focusing on the gas that comes out of our butts. Yes.

When you think about it. I guess it won't work scientifically but you can think one surplus would solve the other shortage. We're not just buying more beans. We're really into them. This is true.

And real bean fans call themselves again.

I'm sorry to say this is true. Leguminati. They run everything. They really do everything. I've heard of all the way to the top.

This is happening. Beaf prices are reaching record highs as our smugginess levels among vegans. And vegetarians. Yes. True.

I have to say like I know that this is sort of NPR framing this. The fact that people can't afford maybe to eat the kind of protein that they would like. Which would be more like meat, cheese, chicken based. But as a person who is generally speaking mostly vegetarian. I'm appreciating some people coming over to our slightly gassy side of the fence on this.

I was on Interstate 5 in over in the Pacific Northwest where I live. And one of those big trucks that's got all the chickens in it. Like bombing down the highway. And I looked at it and a chicken looked into my soul. Really?

And I have never been the same again.

Yeah. So it was like save me. I mean it was. It was saying you know, give the beans a try everybody. Just leave the windows open at night.

Yeah. Exactly. Here is your next quote. The Golden Girls Template and Doer.

“That was the New York Times talking about how the latest trend in TV is shows about whom?”

The older segment of the population. Yes. The older segment of the population. Yes. Seniors.

Old people. Yes. More and more TV shows are both featuring and our design for older people.

From the Matlock reboot to this new Netflix show, The Burrows.

And other shows that will be on way too loud when you go home to visit your parents. That's true. They're a growing number of TV shows are featuring older characters like only murders in the building or a shrinking or 75 years young Sheldon. Why am I leaving now?

It's just your moment, Bill. I didn't love the fact that in this New York Times piece, the photographs of some of the actors were, I would say, roughly my age. Yeah, terrifying isn't it? Like Alfred Molina is not that much older than I am.

Yeah. He's playing a senior citizen. Yes. This is their idea of letting, you know. I wasn't ready to be part of that population so quickly, but I guess I'm here.

In fact, this is interesting. The Burrows on Netflix, this new show that sort of inspired this article, that's set in an old age home and it's made by the people who made stranger things. In fact, stranger things dragged on so long, they were just able to cast for your written case from the show. It's in your citizens, just a segue into that.

Have you heard about that? They have won a new one of those reality shows, cops. But it's older cops and the criminals just get away. And they're going, I got it. I got a set.

I just, yeah, it's gone. Fitsing. You just run. And I'm telling you, right, if you're younger, you want older people to watch shows about older people, just to avoid that awkward moment when your uncle tells you he's all caught up in euphoria.

Wait, what is euphoria? That's the right answer, Paul. Very good. You represented your demographic. Tiffing.

Yes. Here is your last quote. Boo. Boo. That was graduating classes around the country reacting to all these commencement speakers

who chose to talk about what new technology. AI. Yes, AI, it is commencement season. And speaker, after speaker, are bringing up AI and getting booed by the graduates. Yes, AI is not for graduation speeches.

It's for writing the papers that help you graduate. Yes.

“Did the secretary of education, what's your name again?”

Linda, the man? Yeah, did she do any graduation speeches and talk about A1? Which she famously did reading a speech. Reading from notes in Congress. Talk about the--

He's very active with A1. Yes. But that was at the Western Oklahoma school of revised. Exactly. Honestly, relevant.

So, any of you-- Yes. Something you all graduated college. If so, did you remember your commencement speech? Or the commencement speech at this given?

No. No. My son graduated from high school in a very small program. He graduated in a class of one. Really?

Yeah. They had to cut pomp and circumstance short. Yeah.

“I have to work--you have to wait for his name to come around when they're accepting the call.”

Exactly. Okay. Bill, how did Tiffany do in our quiz?

Congratulations, Tiffany.

[applause] Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula? Yeah. I know you enjoy movies.

“And you have to use the bathroom at stressful, because you don't want to miss any of the movie.”

Right. But now, a movie theater in Switzerland has found an elegant solution. What is it? They have a guide that sits beside you when you come back and whispers what happened while you're gone. No?

They have a guide that stands in the doorway just outside your stall. And tells you what's happening on the screen while you're gone. At a normal vacuum. All right. If he's in the bathroom with you.

Yeah. How would he be able to move? Okay, they have a guide that stands just outside the actual bathroom. Holds the door open so they can see what's happening on the screen. And shouts to you towards the stall where you're sitting.

These are all wonderful ideas.

[laughter] But there's-- So many steals this, so I'm going to be so pissed. Literally. Literally.

But they came up with another solution. Who? Boy, he got any hints for me? I mean, presumably you could sit there and watch the movie the whole time. Oh, my God.

The film shows in the bathroom. Yes. Oh, that's awful. There are TV monitors in the floor. Smart.

“In front of every toilet so you can watch the movie.”

While you're using the toilet and not miss anything. Wow. Yeah. I remember when I watched Oppenheimer. I needed a break because I thought it was two intense.

And it would have been horrible if I went to go take a break in the bathroom. And it was still there. Yeah. And it followed you to your car. Everybody.

I see everywhere you go. Oppenheimer is playing. Yeah. No, that's abusive. That's not a good relationship with Oppenheimer.

Yeah. When I walk into the bathroom, I say I have to become deaf. [laughter] Coming up, what if our bluff, the listener game, was actually called Blurfs of the listener?

I'll want you to wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We'll be back in a minute with more of weight weight, don't tell me. From NPR. From NPR, and WBEC should go. This is weight weight.

Don't tell me. The NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paul Poundstone. The Dean for sod and Luke.

Perfect. And here I get in your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, a little bit on my Peter. Say, go. Thank you, Bill.

Thank you so much. Right now, it's time for the weight weight don't tell me Blurfs of the listener game. One Triple 8. Wait, wait.

If you would like to play our games on the air. Hi, you're on weight weight don't tell me. Hi, this is Ron DeGrasse calling from McCooks Nebraska. McCook Nebraska. Where is that exactly?

We are smack the ab between Denver and Omaha and home to Senator George Norris. Oh, Senator George Norris? Yeah, you've got to go back away to, you know, Electricity.

Oh, I'm sorry. And now we're the broad band. Yeah. So, Senator George Norris. Now I know.

Yeah. Well, Ron, welcome to the show.

“You're going to play the game on what you have to tell”

truth from fiction. Bill, what's Ron does topic? Just one letter. One letter can make a big difference. Consider the priest who told the congregation

that all singers go to hell. This week, we heard a story of something off just by one letter and the consequences were remarkable. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth.

You'll win our prize. The weight waiter of your choice on your voice mill. Ready to play? I am.

First, let's hear from DeGien Far Soad.

Dr. Mariano Cohen is a well-respected urologist in Argentina who was invited to speak on a local radio station. He was probably flattered that his vast knowledge of urology was going to be useful on a more public-facing scale.

It's about time that the study of the testes, prostate, vast difference, and yes, the seminal vesicles be taken as a serious matter of public health and not as an uncomfortable joke made by dirtbag comedians on silly quiz shows.

But when the urologist went live on the airwaves, the first question he got was, "Where did he study to become a u-fologist as in someone who studies u-f-o's?" "I'm a urologist, not a u-fologist," he said,

as all the genitals he studied metaphorically shrank. (laughter) In the end, urologists are still the one doctor had no one wants to see, but they're pretty decent standing when it comes to explaining inexplicable orbs

with strange behaviors.

urologist invited onto a radio show

because they thought he was a u-fologist. Your next alphabet account comes from Luke Burbank. According to a story this week in The Hill, about six months ago, Ben Forstack was at his desk as regional director of the FBA,

the Farmington Brottworst Association, a Michigan-based lobbying group representing the case meets industry when he got an email from Cash Patel ordering him to look into a series of bank robberies in the area.

“Why, though, would the FBI director reach out to him?”

Well, thanks to a typo on his LinkedIn page, his name came up when director Patel Googled Michigan Regional Director of the FBA. Patel was actually emailing a guy whose real expertise was, "How spicy is two spicy

when we're talking killbasa?"

The even more amazing part, Forstack,

nabbed the suspect with no legal authorization he staked out the one bank in town that hadn't been robbed yet and sure enough, he caught the bandit when he showed up. Something he said he saw in a Matt Damon movie.

(laughter) Someone listing his job as with the FBI instead of the FBA, ends up catching a criminal, your last story of someone playing loose with the letters comes from Paula Poundstone.

Tech Tech, who wired magazine, has put in the top slot of their who-to-watch in tech list. Recently held their spring-fling employee recognition luncheon at the Southport High at Aboston.

“The round tables were festooned with bouquets of flowers,”

the event featured an improv teacher who led the attendees in some hilarious group story telling, but there was something missing, the lunch. In fact, the crowd grew a little restless digging through their bags for power bars and candy

by the last speaker who shook its head slowly and moaned in response to each disturbance during his somewhat out-of-place testimonial about the challenges of his life as a very tall man, his struggles with depression

and the difficulties of finding work as a butler and the current economic climate.

Of course CEO Watson threatened never again to use

let's have an affair, her go-to party planners, until they showed her a copy of the email asking for the event to include "Lurch." [ Laughter ] "Lurch was the butler from the Adam's family."

[ Laughter ] So, one of these single-letter typos created into the news this week,

“"Was it from the Gainfarsada, your relatives”

who got invited to talk about E.T.'s and UFOs from Luke Burbank, somebody who was a regional director for the F.B.A. being mistaken for someone from the F.B.I. or was it from Paul Appoundstone,

a corporate event that went awry because they ended up with this visit from Lurch, the butler from the Adam's family, rather than a delicious lunch. Well, I love the "Lurch" idea,

and I believe the F.A.I. I'm going with number one. You're going to go with the Gain story of the urologist mistaken for a uphologist. Well, to bring you the correct answer,

we spoke to someone familiar with the real story. You log on to a call to think you're going to be asked about your medical expertise in some of the duble and alien, but you're like, "How is this relevant?" [ Laughter ]

How is it relevant? That was Dr. Reena Malik, a urologist, explaining the mix up in this week's news. Congratulations, Ron, do you got it right? Thank you, thank you.

[ Music ] And now the game where people who have won a lot try to win one more thing, it's called Not My Job. Brandy Carlisle says that from an early age, she knew she was going to make it as a musician,

and she was right. She has won 11 Grammy Awards and two Emmys. She has an Oscar nomination for a song she wrote for her childhood idol, "Elton John." Her new album is called "Returning to My Self."

And she joins us now, Brandy Carlisle, welcome to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." [ Cheers and applause ] Let's start with this "Elton John" thing. I was reading your memoir,

a rather listening to you read it, which was pretty great. And you write that you were such an "Elton John" fan as a pretty young girl, you actually dressed like him in a singing competition? Oh, yeah, many singing competitions,

and also Halloween, and I went to school at the homemade "Elton John" jewelry. I mean, I was a massive "Elton John" fan as a teenager. Right, so, and how much did you stand out

amongst your peers? Being, you know, when they come in doing whatever they were doing in Maple Valley? Yeah, watching this rural Washington, right?

that she bedazzled, and he had big fake glasses.

What did they think of you? Well, it was 1995, so it wasn't exactly the height of teen pop, Apple fame, that "Elton John" experienced in the '70s. So it was like, they were all discovering

"Elton John" through me, until the Lion King, and then they all understood my obsession. Really? They all realized you were a prophet before your time. So later on, you not only met "Elton John,"

but collaborated with him, and became very close friends.

“How early in your relationship did you tell him about this?”

Like immediately, I got a ride in it. Hello, my name is Britt. Hello, my name is Britt. You just have to get it right out in the opening, you know? And I think when you're "Elton John,"

you can't decide to choose friends based on who's a fan and knows your music. It's like he'd have no friends at all. You did that? I granted.

If you're an international superstar,

if that duration, yes. Everybody's going to be your fan. Not everybody is going to dress up as you as a 12-year-old girl. One of the interesting things about it is

you meet "Elton John," you become close friends. You meet "Joey Mitchell," you become collaborators. Hi, Brandy. Yeah. Have you ever felt shy about reaching up to any of your idols?

No, I'm not very shy at all. In fact, I'm married to a British woman, and she's in constant state of cringe because I will walk straight up to new people, or people I admire, and I will just get right in there.

Where the hug and I have no life as too short to not be friends and to get close with people you. Guys, here we go. Have you ever been rebuffed? Yes.

All the time, really?

“Can you dish somebody who wasn't nice to you?”

No, I can't get specifics,

but I will say that I've had moments

with my closest friends, where they've been like, "Oh, piss off, Brandy." I didn't recognize you right away. [laughter] I was fascinated to hear the details of your background.

You grew up, as I said, in rural Washington state, you've written and talked about how poor your family was growing up. In fact, unless I got this wrong, sometimes the family would eat only if your father, shot an elk or deer from your window.

I mean, I wouldn't say that we would only eat if we shot an elk or deer, but there were definitely a few elk and deer, shot from the window. And... From the window part.

[laughter] I mean, we were just sitting around the house and somebody says, "It's a reverse drive through." Yeah, kind of. [laughter]

Trying to figure out if good wife can take the screen off. Yeah, true. It's like, well, somebody says, "So what's for dinner?" And your dad says, "Well, let's find out." And he goes to the window.

But you also write about how your father, more or less treated you just the same as he treated your brother, who was very close in age. None of that girly star for you. In fact, and I'd love to this story,

he drove you to go have a fight with a bully. [laughter] Yeah, you did. You don't need to go have a, you know, you don't... It was in the 80s.

You don't miss your fist fight appointments, if you make it. [laughter] Right. Again, just, I mean, I guess plot it to you for having the courage to plot it to your father for supporting you and your goals.

[laughter] I'm just curious as to how that went down. Like, you see your dad and you say, "Dad, there's this kid who's been bothering me and I challenge him to a fight and we agreed to meet down by the lake at two.

Can you give me a ride?" Is that what happened? That's exactly what happened. Really? [laughter]

And your father said, "Okay." Yeah. He went to the lake and he dropped me off and then he left. Left left. [laughter]

What do you mean? He drives you to have a fight with a boy. Wait a minute. I'm remembering you did tell. Two boys.

And he dropped you off. And he just leaves? He left. Yeah, I didn't see him till I went back home at dark. [laughter]

And me and the boys, we did get into a scuffle and one of them fell in the lake and we wound up playing the game at baseball. The baseball diamond altogether. Wow.

Who got the most points? [laughter] I've got the most points in the case by the law. So we've got the most points. So as I indicated, you had an extraordinary amount of confidence

in your career as a musician. You dropped out of high school. You went up to Seattle. You did make it to put it mildly.

“I think we had the total of 12 Grammys to date.”

Two Emmys. One Oscar nomination. 11. 11. Excuse me.

What do you think about my grids cross for this year? I have to ask. That's a lot of Grammys. 11. Where do you keep them?

I keep them all on top of my piano that I've had since I was 18. It's a 1900 upright old granny piano that I write. Tons of my songs on it. The whole top of it's just covered in Grammys and Christmas lights. Wow.

[applause] Thank you.

It's not, you know, it occurs to me.

You have enough of them. You could do like a whole dinner party and everybody gets one of their place setting when holding the napkin or something. Well, I definitely don't hide it when people come out. No, sure.

Well, Brandy Carlisle, it is an absolute delight to talk to you. But we have asked you here to play a game. And since your latest album is called "Returning to Myself," we've asked you here to play a game that we're going to call "Returning to the Store."

Because when you think about returning to yourself, it's pretty easy. For example, you don't need a receipt. But returning to the store, though, is a different thing. We're going to ask you three questions about people returning things to the store where they bought it.

Get two out of three right. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. The voice of anyone that they might choose for their voice mail. Are you ready to play? Yes, sir.

All right.

“Bill, who is the great Brandy Carlisle playing for?”

To have a fair co-agons. Richmond, Virginia. All right. Here we go. Here's your first question.

In 2018, a man in New Jersey was sent back to the grocery store for his wife to return a $5 bottle of orange juice. Because she thought it was too expensive. His wife, it turns out, turned out to be very wise. Why?

A, while he was at the store returning it, a plane crashed into his empty house. B, the next person who bought that orange juice, found a live scorpion inside, or C, he spent the five bucks he got back

on a lottery ticket that won him $315 million.

Hmm. This, it was like C to me. It is C. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

And, um, we've been to him after he won $15 million in the lottery. His wife let him buy as much expensive orange juice as he wanted.

“Meanwhile, I get in trouble when I spend the grocery money on the loto.”

Nice, sir, fine. Just got to win, baby. All right. That was very good. The question, Amazon promises easy returns, but one Amazon customer who tried several times to return an item.

Got so frustrated that she did what? A, as vengeance, she bought a piano on Amazon and instantly returned that. So, Amazon would have to pay for the return shipping. B, she went to Amazon's shareholder meeting and tried to return the item directly to Jeff Bezos. Or C, with a friend, she embarked on an epic quest to cast the package into the fires of Mount Doom.

[ Laughter ] Well, I really want this to be B, so I'm going to go B. That's exactly what happens. She turned out she was an Amazon shareholder. So, she got to go to the shareholders meeting.

She stood up and said, "Mr. Bezos, I have this package. You won't take it as a return. I want to give it to you. Bezos was very gracious about it. He apologized. He asked if anybody else there had anything they needed to return.

It was pretty cool. However, you can still hate him. [ Laughter ] All right, here's your last question, Brandon. Now you're doing as well with this as you seem to do with everything.

Here's your last question. Cost co, famous for their incredibly generous return policy. In fact, at Cost co somewhere in the country, once accepted a return of which of these. A, the bones of the rotisserie chicken, a man had just eaten in the food court, be a dead Christmas tree in the first week of January,

or see everything a particular guy had ever bought from Cost co. I'm going with the dead Christmas tree. Well, you're right, but all of them were true. [ Cheers and applause ] Cost co will take almost anything back, if you bought it at Cost co,

that last guy, everything in every bot, he pulled up with the you haul. He unloaded all this merchandise. He had bought it over the years. He said, "Well, I'm moving." And I figured, instead of putting this in a moving van, I'll just return it to you.

Take the money and buy it new when I get to my new home. [ Laughter ]

“Bill, how did Randy Carlisle do in our perfect score?”

She did three in a row. Wow, that's impressive.

A lot of points. Amazing.

[ Cheers and applause ] Randy Carlisle is a Grammy and Emmy-winning singer. Songwriter, you can see in the road this year, tickets for the human tour are on sale now. Brandy Carlisle.

Thank you so much for joining us. And we're going to have fun. [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you. Bye, Brandy. Thank you so much.

Awesome. Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ] In just a minute, Bill shakes his money maker and our listener, Limerick Challenge. Call one, Triple 8, wait, wait to join us in the air.

We'll be back in a minute with Laura. Wait, wait, don't tell me. From NPR. [ Music ] From NPR and WB EZ Chicago,

this is "Wake Wakes." Don't tell me.

I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Paula Poundstone and Nagin Farzad. And here to get us your host, Betha Stuttabaker, Theater, and Chicago Illinois, Peters.

Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ] Thanks, everybody. And just a minute, Bill, serenade you one last time with some topical yet beautiful poems

in our listener, Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call. One Triple 8, wait, wait. That's one 888-924-8924. Right now, panel some more questions for you

from the week's news. Again, according to the Wall Street Journal, to get their kids more time on standardized tests, parents or sometimes claiming those kids are suffering from what?

Um, yeah, their kids suffer from, like, not wanting to do it. No, no, no, give you a hint. It doesn't stand for IB smart. [ Cheers and applause ]

“And kids suffer from international baccalaureate syndrome?”

[ Laughter ] So close. So, damn close. Yeah, I don't remember, wait, yeah, but, but pooping and stuff.

Yes, I do pooping and stuff. For me, it's stuff. That was like PA. Yeah, slightly more. More, slightly more scientifically,

IBS, irritable bowel syndrome. Parents across the country are apparently falsely claiming that their kids have irritable bowel syndrome. Just that their kids can have unlimited bathroom breaks

during the SAT test. Kids with IBS and similar issues, of course, they're allowed extra time,

so many parents have never been more furious

to have children with out any neurological or medical problems. [ Laughter ] Why are they -- why doesn't the SAT like testing service

provide diapers? Yeah. So, that'll show them. That's -- yeah. So, basically what's happening

is, like, some parents are accusing other parents of having their kids fake this, so they get that extra edge.

“You've got some, being able to take extra time.”

When it is true, they've done studies of, like, eruptions, if you will, of IBS, among young people, and they're sort of centered in wealthy neighborhoods. Wow.

There you go. That's because beans are better for you. No, this is -- [ Laughter ] As a person who did poorly on the SAT, I can tell you that I would not have traded

my low SAT score for my fellow Nathan Hail High School seniors thinking that I was about to absolutely destroy my parents. [ Laughter ] I have personally, like, a lesser --

There must be, there must be, like, a lesser thing that's like, I'm sorry. Any more time I have bunions. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I got extra time for my SAT

by telling them I had bones first.

[ Laughter ] ♪ I got a cold ♪ ♪ I got a cold ♪ ♪ I got a cold ♪ ♪ I got a cold ♪

♪ I got a cold ♪ Coming up, it's like you fill in the blind,

“but first it's the game where you have to listen”

for the rhyme. You're going to play on air. Call the leave a message. It won't triple eight. Wait, wait.

If that's one. 888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. And you can catch us in the road as well.

We'll be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and July 9th, and in beautiful, Sonoma County, California, making your debut there in July 30th. For tickets and more information,

to all of our live events, go to nprepresent.org. Hi, you're on wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi. Hi, who's this?

My name is Brooke. I'm calling from Paralyne, Texas. So what do you do there in Paralyne? I work in the nonprofit field. Yes.

No, more and more of us are doing that. [ Laughter ] I really recommend. Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Brooke.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related to the lyrics of the last word or phrase missing for me. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the lyrics will be a winner. Ready to play?

Ready?

Here's your first lemric.

With a permit at age 45. On the oldest beginner alive, I stole a nice swerve. Go to slow, hit the curb. I've been adult.

Who's learning to... Tries. Yes. A column in the Guardian describes the humiliation of learning to drive as an adult.

Makes sense, nothing steps your dignity away, like one of those student drivers be patient bumper stickers on your BMW. [ Laughter ] I should maybe be taught how to drive by an adult.

Because I have a driver's license, but I don't really drive. Yeah. And it's living in New York. I live in New York City.

I don't need it. And then it now, it's terror. And at one point, I was driving in Los Angeles, but then I had to like parallel park. This was years ago.

And I couldn't figure out the parallel park. And there was a guy. It was a large space. I should have been able to do it. And ultimately, I was so stressed out

and this random stranger was like helping me. And then I was like, "Can you just do it?" So a random man got in your car and parked it for me

That's very nice, though.

It's a lovely story. Thank you. Yeah.

“Did you feel out of police report when he drove out?”

Yes. (laughter) Here is your next lemric. It's a baby name. You will regret.

Even Romeo would be upset. G-H-I for a J is just not okay. It's 12 letters to spell... Goes with Romeo. Juliet.

Juliet. Yes. This is the mirror. Reported on a woman who is in a horrible fight with her best friend, Lorraine.

Lorraine's new daughter's name. That new daughter is named Juliet. That's lovely. But Lorraine has spelled it. G-H-I-U-L-I-Y-E-T-T-E.

Juliet. It's an incredibly elaborate way to spell it and by a elaborate, I mean, dumb. (laughter)

“Was she on Wheel of Fortune when she was naming the kids?”

It's possible. Do you get more points? That's true. Well, she'll be called Miss G, her whole life. Yeah.

Or whatever her middle name is. What Yonder window breaks? Yeah. (laughter) Here is your last lemric.

Older wedding guests started to touch. But mostly, we busted it, gut. She was doing the worm. But her clutes were too firm. So her dress tore.

Exposing her. Mm-hmm. Bucks pass. Good guess. This week's viral wedding video was of a bride's maid

who danced with the groomsman down the aisle to the couple at the altar like the cool kids do. And then, as a little extra flourish, both she and the groomsman,

“hit the floor right in front of the couple to do the worm.”

And her dress immediately split open from him to the middle of her back revealing her entire butt. Everybody knows. That's a terrible faux paw. You're not supposed to steal attention from the bride's butt.

Right. Thankfully, somebody captured all this on video from just the right angle behind. And the bride's maid herself posted it. But with the caption, and this is true, stop zooming in.

Yabastard's. But then, of course, it led to this insane bride's ill-emovement when the bride said, "Well, I wanted matching bridesmaid dresses." So the rest of you hit the floor.

Bill, how did Brooke do in her quiz? Brooke did really well. Got 'em all right. Wow, we're all right. Congratulations, Brooke.

Well done, Matt. Take care, and thanks for playing. All right. Bye-bye. [music playing]

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Film The Blank. Each of our players left 60 seconds in which dancer is many. Film The Blank questions as they can. Each crack dancer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the score?

Again, balla in the game, each have two, Luke has four. All right. Paula and McGeiner tied. So Paula, why don't you go first? Here we go.

Film The Blank.

On Tuesday, President Trump announced a new $1.8 billion fund that could benefit the people involved in blank.

January 6th. Right. On Thursday, the DNC released the so-called autopsy of the 2024 blank. Presidential election. Right.

This week, the surgeon general posted an advisory about the dangers of blank time for kids and teens. Screen time. Yes, screen time ball after being forced up by CBS Blank ended his run as the host of the late show. Steve and Colbert. Yes.

This week, analysts reviewing President Trump's financial disclosure suspect that while attempting to buy over a million dollars of pharmaceutical stock, he accidentally blanked. But over a million dollars of pharmaceutical stock. No, he accidentally bought more than a million dollars of a conveyor belt sushi restaurant stock. Wow.

Because it had a similar name. Following negotiations with FIFA, Mayor Zoran Mondani was able to secure a $50 blank tickets for New Yorkers. Soccer ticket? Yeah, World Cup tickets. Very good.

Best known for being the US's first openly gay congressman blank passed away at the age of 86.

The great Bernie Frank. The great Bernie Frank. This week's spectators at a runway show at Sydney Fashion Week were surprised to learn the avant-garde soundtrack playing as the models were coming down the runway. Was actually blank. Lanking.

No, it was actually just the fire alarm going off. The models at this Australian Fashion Week show walk the runway for a good five minutes back and forth as the fire alarm blaring.

This is just a kid at audience was like, wow, would a cool artistic choice commenting in the heightened sense of emergency in our society.

“The flames and smoke filling the room, awesome ball choice.”

Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? She got six right to settle the 14. She did very well. She's in the lead. All right.

McGeen. All right. You're up next. On Tuesday, a Trump endorsed Challenger beat representative blank in Kentucky's GOP primers. Yes, Thomas Matthew, a Monday judge ruled that the gun found in his backpack would be allowed as evidence in the trial of blank.

Man, Gianni. Man, Gianni. This week, tens of thousands of people faced evacuation orders as blanks blazed through Southern California again. Well, fire alarm. Monday, the WHO said that the blank outbreak in Central Africa merit its serious concern.

Right.

This week's new CEO of Xbox announced plans to make that game system relevant again by changing its name to blank.

Oh, is that a pick? No. Good idea.

“Changing the name from Xbox to Xbox, but now it's in all capital letters.”

This week, a school in Maine apologized after students attending a dinner at the school were served blank for dessert. Ah, shards of glass. No. Although close, they were served a tray of baked dirt. Ah!

Of supporting to school officials, a science class had been conducting an experiment to see if plants could grow in soil that had been sterilized in the oven. And this baking dish filled with dirt was accidentally picked up with the food for the dinner and placed down the table. And trust us, you do not want to know what those gummy worms actually were. Bill, how did negine do? Well, she got four, right? Eight more points total of ten means ballons still out there.

All right, everyone. And now for the, but I hope is the last math problem you've ever asked to do. How many does Luke need to win? Five to five. Six to win.

Here you go. I just want to double check. You got the note from my mom about the IBS. All right, Luke, this is for the game. Fill in the blank on Monday, the average blank price in all 50 states rose above four dollars a gallon.

Gasoline. Right on Wednesday, the US indicted former Cuban President Blank on murder charges Castro. Right, this week, Iran's leaders said that country's enriched blank must stay within its borders. Uranium. Right on Wednesday's space company Blank announced plans to go public.

SpaceX. Right.

“This week, a politician in the UK who declined interviews due to what he said was an important prior commitment was seen minutes later blanking.”

Feasting on beans. No drinking beers at a pub after she was found not guilty of tax evasion. A court ruled that Spain's tax authority must pay. Pop star blank. 64 million dollars.

Shakira. Right on Monday, auditions for who will replace Daniel Craig is the next blank began. Bond. Right, this week for Washington Post. Profiled an airport detection dog who recently sniffed out two duffel bags filled with blank.

Uh, illegal food. Yes, I'm going to give it to you. 100 pork sandwiches. Merle of the Beagle sniffed out the sandwiches at the Minneapolis Saint Paul International Airport where some of them was illegally transporting those sandwiches from Thailand. Officer celebrated this dog for his remarkable achievement.

Rightly. So, because of this one thing that really proves a dog is an elite law enforcement canine. It's immediately detected when someone is holding a meat sandwich. He should be allowed to eat whatever he catches. Yeah, I think so.

That's what people with. Bill did Luke do well enough to win. Wow, he got seven right 14 more points. 18 wins this week. Congratulations.

Thank you. Good. Yes. You can hear the enthusiasm. It's really cool.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that Bill is retiring from our show. What will he do next? But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me he's a production of NPR and WBEZ. Chicago and association with urgent haircut productions.

Hey, Doug. What are you doing here? Berman, benevolent. Overlord. Philip, go to correct.

Our limb ricks. Our public address announces Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is just zero of our deck.

Thanks to the staff and crew always at the Student Baker Theater.

BJ Leademan composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills. Miles Dernboss and Lily in King. Special thanks to Blive Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Green is our Tomato.

Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical Direction of the Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is the NPR and the executive producer.

That's Mike Danforth.

And now for 12 remarkable years.

“Bill Curtis has performed with us and he has traveled with us.”

Hang on. He has traveled with us from Seattle to Florida. He has stood on stages in places like Red Rocks and Carnegie Hall and Tanglewood. And he has said the most ridiculous things in that most serious voices.

And he has often said how lucky he feels to have done all that with us. But Bill, for once you're wrong, we are the lucky ones. The producers and engineers and managers of our show and the panelists. And of course, me because we got to spend 12 years doing that with you. So, let's in fact give it up for our legendary anchor man.

And our dear friend, Mr. Bill Curtis, one more time. [applause] Wow, wow.

“So, panel, what will Bill Curtis do next in the game far so odd?”

He's tired of being objective for his voice, so he's going to be a male bikini model.

So he can finally be objective for his body.

Yeah, I'll do it. Look for bank. Whatever the [bleep] he wants. [laughter] And Paula Poundstone.

Bill will be applying for the weaponization reparations from the $1.7 billion.

[laughter] And, if I do any of that, we're going to ask you about it and wait, wait, don't tell me. So thanks, and again, for Sawd, Paula Poundstone and Luke Burbank. Thanks to our fabulous audience who are here for the show at the student bank

consider and downtown Chicago. Thank you for listening in wherever you may be. I'm Peter Segal and Bill.

“In the end, the only way you know something is absolutely true is”

if you say it. So, would you please do the honors? This is MPR.