We become friends and neighbors with Olivia Munn

>> From PR, and that would be easy Chicago.

“This is weight weight, don't tell me the NPR news quiz.”

Hey, Easter Bunny. Fill those giant ears with my voice. >> [APPLAUSE] >> I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Student Baker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago Illinois. The game, far side.

>> Thank you, Bill, and thanks everyone. I'm filling in for Peter Segal, who's on Spring Break, where instead of a wet t-shirt, he's doing a damp turtleneck contest. [LAUGH] But don't worry, we have a great show for you today.

We're going to be joined by Olivia Mann, who you can catch on the Apple TV series, your friends and neighbors, a show that makes the suburbs way sexier than they actually are.

But first, it's your turn to make some friends.

Give us a call to play our games. The number is one, eight, eight, wait, wait, that's one, eight, eight, nine, two, four, eight, nine, two, four. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on way, way, don't tell me. >> I'm Niki, my name's Hannah, I'm calling from New York City.

“>> Hi, Hannah, what do you, what do you do in New York?”

>> I am a Marine Show physicist. >> I mean, me too. >> [LAUGH] >> Well, that's right, too much. >> So what, what is a marine geophysicist do for fun?

>> For fun, on the weekends, I like to go and play Irish fiddle, I do some cool things. >> Oh my god, yeah, yeah, same, same, same, same. [LAUGH] >> Well, Hannah, let's introduce you to our panel.

First up, she's a comedian and a host of the TikTok series, boy room, it's Rachel Costa.

>> Hi, Hannah. >> [APPLAUSE] >> You sound like a baby girl. >> [LAUGH] Next up, she's a comedian who runs the bi-monthly stand-up show, Frankenstein's baby at Union Hall in Brooklyn, it's Joyel, Nicole Johnson.

>> Hey, Hannah, come on down to our show, where you get home, baby. >> And finally, an actor and writer, you can see with John Lutz in the improv show, two square at the UCB theater in New York City on April 15th, it's Peter Gross. >> Hello, Hannah. >> [APPLAUSE]

>> All right, Hannah, we're excited to have you here. You're going to play who's built this time. Now, Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can identify two of them, you'll win our prize, which is any voice from our show on your voicemail, are you ready?

>> Sure. >> [LAUGH]

>> All right, your first quote is a headline from astronomy magazine.

>> Artemis, two crew fixes toilet, can now pee in it. >> [LAUGH] >> So, that toilet will come in handy for the crew who took off from where on Wednesday night. >> That's the moon. >> That's right, the moon.

>> [APPLAUSE] >> So, this week Artemis, two took off on its first mission to the moon in decades. That's right, little known fact, this whole time, we haven't been going to the moon. The launch was actually delayed because the lines at Cape Canaveral TSA were so long. >> Oh my God.

>> It's kind of a sign of how bad things are going on Earth that people are like, yeah. Can we figure out what's going on in the moon? Is that like free? >> [LAUGH] >> Yeah, I'll take that really wet.

[LAUGH] >> [LAUGH] >> [INAUDIBLE] >> Kim Kardashian over here. >> Yeah, I love a good conspiracy theory.

>> It's one of my favorites that we didn't go to the moon. >> Also, this is actually true, so every single previous moon mission, just they just left their poop in bags on the lunar surface, it turns out the moon operates by dog owner, everybody hates rules. >> Yeah, it sounds like my block, like when the snow melts, you're like, oh come on.

You can't poop in the snow and be like, oh, I bet it won't be there when the snow melts. >> We have to be grateful that the poop on the ground is on the ground. I mean, we can talk our smack about it, but at least it's where it belongs.

“>> That's true, why do we want to live on the moon when dog poop would be like hitting us in a face?”

>> Yeah, in the face all the time. Well, not with this special toilet, and actually this mission that they're on is a test run before NASA establishes a base there to mine resources from the moon. But honestly, we can't change the moon, it'll completely mess up my period. >> [LAUGH]

>> All right, well, here's your next quote from someone visiting the Supreme Court on Wednesday. >> Dumb judges and justices. >> Who sat in on Supreme Court arguments this week? >> The president. >> It's right.

>> [APPLAUSE] >> Yeah, I'll bet that. >> Technically, you're bowing Hannah for getting the question, right? So you're allowed to talk to her. >> That you're right, this week Donald Trump became the first sitting president to attend oral

arguments at the Supreme Court, and we assume the first president to fall asleep during

>> He was just like, I love the Socratic Method.

I want to hear a lot of people asking questions and peppering somebody with intellectual spirits.

“>> He called them Dumb justices, did he nominate most of them?”

>> I do that was my friends, too. I chose them, and I think they're idiots. >> But you said they're like at your birthday party, like, look at all these idiots. I think he went probably to intimidate them. >> Yeah.

>> Like, they won't be able to talk smack about me and my dumb ideas if I'm actually sitting in the courtroom. And then all the people that he nominated were like, this idea is stupid. >> Again, I mean, he probably thought Brad Cavanaugh would go, "Oh, Trump is here or better be more conservative today."

>> Okay. >> Damn, and I was like, the president's here behind your beers, guys. [ Laughter ] >> We're not allowed to drink in the Supreme Court if the president is here. >> [ Laughter ]

>> Honestly, I think he should have done this like undercover boss style, where he's just like wearing a mustache mopping in the corner, like, "Don't mind me, do you like working on me?" [ Laughter ] >> All right, your last quote is a zookeeper at the National Zoo observing some animal behavior.

>> I should just get down the business.

>> That zookeeper -- that zookeeper was noting that for the first time ever, two watts

actually seem to want to mate. >> I have no idea. >> It's not zoo employees. >> [ Laughter ] I'm sure they also want to mate, but you're all giving you a hint. It's all right there in black and white.

>> Oh, is it the panel? >> That's right, the canvas! [ Applause ] >> Two of the National Zoo's pandas were spotted flirting this week. This is huge news because pandas are historically lazy and don't care about sex.

They're essentially the opposite of dolphins. He absolutely freaks of the animal kingdom. >> It was interesting because when you said two watts, Hannah was like, "I don't want to get canceled." [ Laughter ]

>> I can't know where it's the blue watts. >> Being in danger species must be so hot. [ Laughter ] >> It does sound like a lot of pressure, though. >> I was in pressure?

>> I didn't have to. >> You thrive under those circumstances. >> I like it. Sorry, sorry. >> That's what I do my best work.

People are watching me. I have to propagate my species. >> Yes. >> Nobody loves you thinking of the pandas' kinks. >> You know what I mean?

>> You have to. >> One of them might have the same kink as Brian Nome. >> [ Laughter ] >> We don't know. >> That was that, too?

>> Yeah. >> I love that that any of these things. >> The zookeeper do sound like a bit of a creek dull. I'm just going to put that out there. >> Well, I'm going to give you a little bit of insight into how panda business

is going on right now. The pandas are actually in separate enclosures with a window connecting them. They actually flirt the exact same way humans do. She ignores him while he rubbed his giant panda ass on the window. >> Wait, there is too many blinds.

>> It looks like there are two different classic closures. It sounds like love is blind. >> Yeah, so this is, this is actually true. The window connecting them is called a howdy window.

“And it honestly, it sounds like my personal nightmare.”

Like you're saying that my crush lives next door and can look at me at any time.

I like that then you can make sure that he's never talking to other girls.

>> Yeah, there is actually no other girl in all of America for talking to you. >> But he's like, I don't know, I feel like I just want to like shop around a little bit. I don't want to get like, like pin down to one panda. Like you're going to go to China then, dude. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> I might be into koalas and brown bears, polar bears. That's a little bears, I know. >> It was like a really impressive list. >> Thank you. >> Well, the panda's actually won't be allowed to share an enclosure for a couple of years.

At which point they will presumably pounce on each other and start going at it ruining multiple field trips. >> All right, Bill, how did Hannah do? She knows her pandas and they got a perfect score, three of them. >> Oh, right, Hannah, great job thanks so much for playing again.

>> Now, panel, I have some questions for you about this week's news. Peter, TMZ is broadening its horizons by no longer just taking pictures of celebrities.

“Now they're sending paparazzi to capture photos of who?”

Lindsey Graham at Disney World. >> That's right. >> Politicians. >> Politicians, members of Congress. TMZ is taking a break from saying a size six woman has let herself go by pivoting to politics.

even worse, in the photo he's punching Moana.

>> That's what I saw, I don't know. I want to princess dressed. >> Also. >> I remember he was wearing a blazer. >> He was, and also the thing is yes, he's unmarried, so it doesn't have kids.

>> But he was stone-cold alone, which I want to know, like, can you ask anybody to go with you? Like, would see, like, hey, Mark Warner, Democrat from Virginia,

“want to reach across the island, like, could it just be a world with me?”

Or did he ask some Republicans? >> He could have been like, Pam, Pam Bonnie, I hear you have some time. >> Yeah. >> And they would be like, yeah, our woman playing Maleficent is sick. Would it just like you're going to be an evil person?

>> I didn't realize there was something more concerning that a Disney adult is in a loan. >> It is. [MUSIC] >> Coming up, our panelists get freaky Monday through Thursday in our bluff. The listener game call 1-88.

Wait, wait, to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of way, way, don't tell me from NPR. [MUSIC] >> From NPR, and nobody be easy should go this is. Wait, wait, don't tell me the NPR news quiz.

I'm build Curtis. We are playing this week with Peter Gross. Joel Nicole Johnson and Rachel Custer. And here we get to share a host at these two-to-baker theatre

“and should Kago and O'Donnelly again for us on.”

>> Thanks, Bill. [APPLAUSE] >> Now it's time for the way we don't tell me bluffed the listener game. Call 1-88-8, wait, wait, to play our game on air or check out the pin post on our Instagram page at wait, wait, NPR.

Hi, you're on wait, wait, don't tell me. >> This is Eli from Houghton, Michigan. >> Hi, Eli, what do you do in Michigan? >> I am studying human factors at Michigan Tech. >> Human factors.

>> Human factors. [LAUGHTER] >> What does that mean? >> Yeah, it's kind of how to understand how people think and how you can design make systems easier for people to use.

>> Okay, so are you going to be the reason I don't lose my mind scrolling on something that I need to log into? >> Yeah, exactly, just like that. >> Thank you in advance. So it's so nice to have you with us, Eli.

You're going to play the game where you tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? I had a weird four day. [LAUGHTER] >> A whole lot can happen in just four days.

This week, we came across an incredible story that unfolded over the course of four

seventh of a week. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the weight weight of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

>> Yeah, I am. >> Okay, first up, it's Rachel Costa. When Kimberly Whitney arrived at her four-day silent meditation retreat in the Swiss Alps, she looked forward to the time away from her phone until right before checking. She received an incredibly salacious text from her friend Kathy.

The text right at girl, you will not believe what happened last night. Voice note incoming. But before the voice note came, her phone was taken. Kimberly tried to clear her mind, but it was impossible. She snuck out to get her phone and listened to the voice note.

It went as follows. Hey, Queen, I know you're like in Russia or something, but I ran into Martha who told me I can't tell anyone. But like anyway, she found out just in secretly has ten. Just when Kimberly was about to find out what just in the ten of a beautiful,

scary staffer found her. What have we here? She said, like Dracula or something. Kimberly's phone was taken again. Instead of enjoying the four-day retreat, she paid $5,000 for her.

She spent every second trying to find her phone.

When we're flexing on her time to CNN, Kimberly said, God forbid a woman loves gossip. And for those wondering, just in secretly has ten beta fish. Not worth it. (laughter)

All right. (applause) All right. On a four-day long retreat who can't stop looking for her phone from Rachel Costa, your next story of 96 hours

to remember comes from Joyo, Nicole Johnson. You can do a lot in four days. You can go to Lala Palooza, enjoy a cruise or have sex with identical twin brothers. (laughter)

“That's what one woman who shall remain anonymous did.”

In a miraculous feat that I would describe as the MVP of whole phases. (laughter) Nameless McNameless since slept with identical twin brothers in four days and the kicker a child came from this union.

and how they went down, but boy did they. All we know is that she likes one twin more than the other. And now this iconic queen of sexual expression is in court suing to change which twin is listed at the father of the child's birth certificate.

(laughter) However, Lord Justice Stewart Smith ruled this week that the paternity is not possible to determine because she slept with the brothers in such quick succession. (laughter)

Lord Parkway added it. (laughter) It went before a lower court to determine which twin should now be granted parental responsibility. And to that I say Yasquee, Yolo, enjoy every twin

family gathering going forward. Who knows? They might have a hot cousin. (laughter) (laughter)

All right. So a woman who spent four days getting it on which twins and can't tell who the baby daddy is from Joyel Nichol Johnson. Your last story of a court tent of crazy days

comes from Peter Gross. 22-year-old Lila Robbid was excited on Monday this week

when she got her first job out of college

at a marketing firm called B-squared. On Tuesday, Lila's second day she walked into work and found people changing the name on the front door to harm and marketing after that company had bought out B-squared that very morning.

Lila was a little frown but determined to make the best out of her first work experience. On Wednesday, her third day, however, Lila showed up to discover the harm and marketing building and be converted to a combination pizza hot taco bell.

(laughter) But Lila pivoted, put on her best face, and attended the training session on how to make crunch rap supreme. (laughter)

On Thursday, the fourth day things really changed when Lila arrived at a workplace transformed into a lucky martin factory that made AI weapons systems. (laughter) It's been a little confusing, said Lila,

especially since I went to school for marketing and not manufacturing AI weapons systems.

“But honestly, I'm just glad to have a job.”

On a way out of work, Thursday night, she saw a truck unloading video games, bad pizza, and giant mouse costumes. No word if she will be working at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. (laughter)

(laughter) Okay. (applause) Okay, Lila, so here are your choices from Rachel Costa, a woman on a four day long silent meditation

who's unable to spend a single second not looking for her phone when they hit it on her. From Peter Gross, a new graduate goes from working in marketing to pizza to weapons all in four days. And from Joy-Ellenical Johnson, a woman who spent four days

getting freaky with twins is unable to tell who's the father of her child, which one is real? I think it's the twins. All right. (applause)

And to find out which story is true, we spoke with someone who had some insight into the real story. While you don't know who the father is right now, you know who the grandmother is.

(laughter) (laughter) That was Dr. Nancy Siegel, a psychologist and the director of the Twin Studies Center at California State University, Fullerton.

Congratulations, Lila. You got it, right? You earned a point for Joy-Ellen, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voice now.

(applause) Thank you so much. Thank you so much for playing with us, Lila. (applause) Now, we know your inbox is full of receipts

“and promotional emails you need to unsubscribe to,”

so we have a crazy idea. Let's put something good in there. The pod club newsletter is a hand-picked guide to NPR podcast. It shows up once a week,

and might just make you want to open your inbox for a change. Join the club and subscribe at NPR.org/podclub. And now, the game where we ask people who've done a lot of things to do one more thing. We call it not my job.

I'm always curious about an actor's origin story,

and today's guest, Olivia Munn, started as a local news reporter in Oklahoma, went on to host a nerdy gaming show, then became a daily show correspondent, and can now be seen in your friends and neighbors

on Apple TV+. Olivia Munn, welcome to "Wait, Wait, don't tell me." (applause) So like we said, unlike a lot of actors, you got your start as a local news anchor.

How did that happen? You've made my life. That makes sounds a lot full of them. I didn't know.

“This is your chance to say that's what happened.”

(laughter) You don't know. We write the Wikipedia page in real time. I'll just say that. I'm fluent in 18 languages.

(laughter) So I graduated college and majored in journalism,

and I always wanted to get to LA,

and I wanted to be an actor, but my mother's an immigrant, and so when I told her I wanted to be an actor,

We're not doing that. You're going to be a doctoral lawyer.

“But then I was like, "Just love storytelling."”

So I'm like, "What about a journalist?" She's like, "Well, what exactly is that?" So I pointed to the people on the news. She's like, "Oh, okay, okay, that's okay." (laughter)

So I go there, and then she made me a deal. She's like, you know, I'll support you. If you want to go to LA, only if you use your degree for one year. So I worked at this NBC affiliate in Tulsa,

and I did the assignment desk. And people who have done journalism, or have been in a newsroom, the assignment desk is where you get all the calls, you get people calling in,

with complaints, or nice things that, it just everything, but there's also all these police scanners,

like the most important thing to do.

There's police and fire department, there are medics and you're supposed to listen to all of them at once, and they'll look crawl it out. And I was the absolute worst person at that job.

I just didn't get that. They're this close to me. I'm sitting at the desk, and I hear nothing, and I need to see a reporter over there.

“It'd be like, "Just a school bus on fire on 83rd street."”

And I was like, "There is." (laughter) You're probably also going away. And I have to drop the highway on 49th, and I'm like, "Really? Where are you?"

(laughter) And then a year to the day I went in, and I was like, "I'm leaving. I'm not gonna be staying here anymore." And they go, "Great."

(laughter) But like, women who's bad at the assignment desk, leaves town. I really want to hear that. I'm saying, "I love you."

Oh my gosh, she sounds great. (laughter) So you are famously in the show Newsroom. What was it like to do that kind of like, Erin's work in dialogue?

Can you say it while walking? Yeah. Was there a lot like that? It's a lot like that. I could.

One second. (laughter)

My first scene that you see,

it's a big, long walk in talk. I remember my first take, and I speak fast, and then you can make me nervous, and I'm really, really fast talking.

And then they cut, and the AD came over and was like,

“"Director just wants you to just talk a little slower."”

And then I was like, "Oh, okay." And then it sort of pops up. And he was like, "No, no, no, no, no, no." He was like, "Talk fast, we talked fast, this is great."

(laughter) Like, too slow for Erin's story. (laughter) And I was like, and he was like, "No." And he was like, "No."

He's like, "I can get her to say more things. This is great." Like, he didn't realize that moment until I could talk really fast. And then I was like, "Am I the only person

in the history of sort?"

And he would be like, "Yes."

(laughter) Well, you're now on friends and neighbors. And John Ham's character takes to robbing his friends on that show, which made me question, "Which of your friends or neighbors

would you like to rob?" (laughter) Yes. Yeah. So, that's a good question.

(laughter) You know, I'm not, when I'm in New York, there are so many more like cool rich artsy people around. And I mean, he's not, he's my friend through my husband. So, I just have to say that when I say,

but like, don't be like, "Oh, she's name dropped because he's not my friend." But I picked it as house. And like, Steve Martin has like, (laughter)

like, the best part that you can imagine. And like, when I go around in his place, I'm like, "Look, he's explaining stuff." And I'm like, "I only know a few phrases to sound smart with art."

And I go like, "Um, oh, I love the use of negative space." (laughter) There's only one other thing I say, go. It's really interesting how they collapse three dimensions into two.

(laughter) What that means? I heard somebody say it, why? (laughter) Nope, you're an actor, so I really bought it.

I mean, yeah. (applause) I also love how, like, you immediately had an answer because you have scoped out that joint. (laughter)

Steve Martin better look out. You are right. Because we are over there for the New Year's Eve party. I was like, "Send my husband like, "Let's go into the office."

I was like, "He's kind of really cool stuff." And he was like, "Okay, we're going there." But, you know, it's just like, it's like the coolest stuff. Like, it's really, um, he's just like, as cool as you think he would be.

Like, everything's cool and curated in this. And, like, the stuff is like right there. And I'm like, I can just, I have that thing where I'm just like, like, like, when I used to go to church and I was like, "Hey, I really want to just get up and be like,

"Ah!" (laughter) And she's like, "Oh, well, I'm like eating a kabob." Like, right next to like some, like, ridiculous, expensive painting.

And I just want to go like that. (laughter) You want to touch it with your kabob? (laughter) I want it to be great.

I want to feel what it feels like. Like that, something else.

(laughter) You're gonna ask me about that. I'm just a little kid. (laughter)

“Well, well, let me remind you, we've asked you here”

to play a game we're calling. Our friends and neighbors. You star in the show, your friends and neighbors, but what do you know about the NBC sitcom "Friends" and the Australian soap opera neighbors?

(laughter) Answer two out of three questions. Correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail,

Bill, who is Olivia playing for? Well, let's have a host of "Guyton's Barrow North Carolina." All right. (applause) All right.

Well, we'll start with friends.

Here's your first question.

The breeze to at Central Perk, where the friends hung out, was Gunther, played by James Michael Tyler. Gunther was only supposed to appear in a single episode, but the producers kept him around.

Why was it A? Because Tyler was a huge Nick's fan, so the writers would ask him how to make Joey's sounds like a real Nick's fan? Is it B?

A network executive thought the way Tyler answered the phone was the funniest thing in the show, or was it C? Tyler was the only one who knew how to use the espresso machine.

(laughter) You guys know B and C sound a lot of light. (laughter) They're saying E. I know.

And you should say banana or cat. (laughter) I'm just freaking out. (laughter)

“I believe I do believe they're said cat.”

Nanana and cat sound a lot.

So very similar. (laughter) You going? (laughter) Okay.

They were saying C. Yeah. I feel like that's what they're saying. (laughter) That's right.

The answer is C. (laughter) (laughter) I don't know why he wasn't miming using the espresso machine, but anyway, there was.

He actually knew how to use the espresso machine. All right. Let's jump over to neighbors. Here's your next question. In a 2013 episode of Neighbors,

Bad Boyd Kyle Channing became temporarily blind after staring directly at an eclipse. What circumstance? Led him to look straight at the sun. Was it A?

“His kidnappers held his eyes open and pointed them at the sun.”

Was it B? A dog stole his eclipse glasses and ran away with them. Or was it C? He was trying to win $10,000 in an eclipse staring contest. (laughter)

Okay. The neighbors is a soap opera, right? Yeah. I'm going to guess it's B. That's right.

(laughter) How did you know? The dog stole his glasses and he just looked anyway. So, all right. Back to friends.

Lisa Cudro would an Emmy for playing Phoebe on Friends,

but she always had a backup plan ready.

And the same year that the show premiered, Cudro also did what? Was it A? Published a study in a neurological journal, testing if left-handed people are more likely to do that.

So, this is the first time I've had a backup plan. And the same year that the show premiered, Cudro also did what? If left-handed people are more likely to get migraines. Was it B?

Completed an internship at the three Michelin star restaurant, the French laundry, or was it C? Received a patent for a leash that lets you walk five dogs at once. It's A, but that one is A.

That's right. It was A. (applause) Bill, how did Olivia do on our quiz? Olivia was perfect.

Three right. (applause) Olivia Montez and actor, who you can see on Apple TV, pluses your friends and neighbors. Season two premiered this week.

Olivia Montez, thanks so much for joining us. (applause) In just a minute, Bill tricks out his new car and the grossest way possible. It's the listener-limmic challenge.

Call 1-888. Wait wait to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait wait don't tell me from NPR. (upbeat music)

For NPR, NWBEC should cucko. This is Wait Wait don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Rachel Custer, Peter Gross, and Joy Ellen Nicole Johnson.

And here we get a sure host at the Student Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. They need for us hot. (applause) Thanks Bill.

(applause) In just a minute, we're going to absolutely blow your mind

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888. Wait wait, that's 1-888-9248-924.

“But now, panel, I have more questions from this week's news.”

Rachel, researchers at Cornell have announced that by manipulating low-frequency sound waves,

they have found a revolutionary way to do what.

Um, telling by getting, (audience laughs) Yeah. Can you, can I have a hint please? Yes.

(audience laughs) Banana peels really respond to the sound of a wild green sexy music makes plants grow. (audience laughs) Blitz and just fan through it, actually.

Okay, this is so good. (audience laughs) I'll just tell you, the sound waves can wash fruit. (audience laughs) So, we've all been praying for a new way to wash fruit.

Obviously, a complicated process that can take up to 10 seconds. (audience laughs) The researchers found that if you drunk the fruit in water, inject bubbles in the water and then add sound, the fruit gets 90% cleaner than just rinsing it,

and 100% cleaner than just rummaging on your shirt. (audience laughs)

Oh, where are we all kidding with that, you know?

I feel like it's probably good to get all the minerals from the outside of fruits. (audience laughs) Mineral. It's good for your immune system

to just be ingesting stuff all the time. Even if it's not necessarily what you meant to. I'm con. You wear your shoes on the bed? No, no.

(audience laughs) Oh, no. (audience laughs) But they're okay on the couch. (audience laughs)

Right? How do I check the bubbles like when a soda stream?

“What I'm picturing is that if you want to get yourself extra clean”

in a, you know, you run a nice bubble bath, and then you dunk your head under water, and you just start screaming. You're just so weird. I understand why the left and the right don't get along.

The right is probably like the left is putting music in the water. (audience laughs) And apparently we are. Yeah, of course. Peter, Patreon is an online platform

where you can support struggling artists by paying a monthly subscription for exclusive content. So it makes sense that who started a Patreon this week? Um, I would assume the government or Donald Trump. Here's a hint.

Uh huh. Don't think twice about this answer. Wait, is that a reference to it? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, yeah. (audience applauds)

This week. Struggling for cash? Yes. Struggling an artist, Bob Dylan. (audience laughs)

Posted a mysterious message on Instagram promoting his new Patreon page. Fans were shocked when they heard the news. Taking to message boards to be like, "Wait, Bob Dylan knows how to use Instagram?"

(audience laughs) So for just $5 a month, Dylan is offering fans the exclusive content that the legendary songwriter knows they want from him. This is true a 70 minute essay about Aaron Burr. (audience laughs)

Read by an AI voice. (audience laughs) I'm sorry. I mean, right? I mean, just checking here, but can the Nobel committee take away

someone's prize to ask the date? He write it and then AI's reading it out loud. Yeah. For 70 minutes. (audience laughs)

Live Manuel Burranda's right there. He would read that. Yeah, exactly. It ain't better than Bob doing it. He'd just be coughing up in the easing episode.

(audience laughs) Take two hours.

Nobody's always been like that.

Yeah, I feel like he's always been like that. I saw that as a coughing man. All right, I'll try to make this quick. I saw Bob Dylan with some friends July 4th, 1989 at Tangowood and it was four.

No, I was we were at Camp, we went to go see him like on a day off when we were a counselor. We were writing down the lists of songs. He was playing, and we were kind of far away, but not that far away.

And we didn't know the name of one of the songs. And based on what he was saying, we wrote down Chabba Chabba Sasa. (audience laughs) That's the name of the song.

So he's not the clearest. (audience laughs) I'd like to black that's right. (audience laughs) (upbeat music)

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank,

“but first, it's the game where you have to listen”

for the rhyme. If you want to play on air, call or leave a message at one, eight, eight, eight, wait, wait. That's one, eight, eight, nine, two, four, eight, nine, two, four. You can see us most weeks here at the Stutabaker Theatre

in downtown Chicago. And catch us on the road. We'll be in Austin, Texas, on June 4th. And let me tell you about something we have. Cooking up our comedy grab bag stand-up show

at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn, April 24th. It's stand-up in games. Our panel is Josh Gommel and his hosting. And he'll be joined by our very own Peter Gross and other special guests.

I've been there, it's so fun. For tickets and info to all of our live events, go to nprpresents.org.

Hi there, this is Ivan from Cherry Hill, New Jersey.

“Hey, Ivan, what are you doing, Cherry Hill?”

Well, I'm a retired lawyer and now, a full-time musician. Oh, all right, I didn't see that coming, what's your instrument? I learned at the saxophone, depending on the group I'm playing in.

Oh, were you with the marching band? I was in the marching band. Need to baby. Yeah, play that marching band. Nice, well, I love that.

Welcome to the show. Ivan Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related lyrics with the last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly on two lyrics, you're a winner.

Okay, let's go.

All right, here's your first lyric.

My smartphone, I frequently check. So from chin to my chest, I'm a wreck. Crags and deep wrinkles are scattered, not sprinkled. All my tech use is aging, my neck.

Yes. That's right. That could be it. There's a new part of your body to feel weird about. Your neck, according to beauty experts,

the more you look at your phone,

“your neck looks and all for the love of God,”

just let me live. You're very supposed to find out how to fix your neck if not looking down at your phone. It's, have you guys ever tried like laying down and reading like with your hand held up.

That's supposedly one of the positions you're supposed to do. That's how you lose a tooth. [laughter] Enjoy. [applause]

All right, here's your next lyric.

Because I'm not a natural jack, I give muscles a jolt until I squawk. To lift weights, I'm unable. So I strap on some cables. My muscles will get a quick stock.

Stock in the air. Stock in the air. The latest fitness trend is a workout where you do body weight exercises, while electricity, quote, "zaps your major muscle groups"

simultaneously for 20 minutes. Ooh, I wonder if when you look in the mirror, you can see your skeleton like in a cartoon. But also, for the love of God, just let me live.

[laughter] But the shocks are delivered via a quote, "dap suit covered in electrodes." And by the way, you had me at "dap suits." [laughter]

Yeah. What if we already wear "dap suit" to the gym?

“Can we just strap some of our own homemade electrodes?”

It's terrible.

Well, if you don't want to go to the gym,

you can get the same workout at home by doing one squat thrust and putting a fork in the socks. [laughter] Here's your last lyric.

This car's creepy. Don't make me get in. The seats have a sunburn built in. I really have horror, the hair and the pores. I'm sitting on fake human.

Yeah. Skin, that's right. [laughter] In order to raise awareness about the importance of wearing sunscreen while driving

an Australian company re-appulsed the seats of a Toyota Camry with simulated human skin that gets sunburn and also, for some reason, has hair.

[laughter] So, yeah, this simulated skin burns when exposed to too much sun, which is a good reminder to take care of yourself, I guess. But it doesn't matter how great your skin

is nobody's talking to you when you drive a human skin car. Yeah. Or if they are, they're not people that you want to talk back to.

[laughter] Hey, I got a car like that. [laughter] Made of myself. Nice. Nice to see another person with a skin car,

grabbing her up. It was a cover-up. I died who, like, already had a skin car. I was like, oh, it's for science. [laughter]

I had a plan for this, actually. It's big stuff. It's all big. Yeah, no, no. It's for, uh, it's to warn people

about, uh, skin cancer. Yeah. That's what I get. Definitely why I made it. Yeah.

It's town without mailmen anymore. [laughter] Sorry. [laughter] Bill, how did I even do?

I haven't got them all right. Congratulations. [cheers and applause] Good job, Ivan. Thank you, Ivan.

Thanks, Mark. Bye, Ivan. Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank. Each player will have 60 seconds

to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? You know, we have a three-way time.

Oh, everyone has two. Anyway, we'll have to fight it out to the end.

I'm going to randomly select Joyel to go first.

“So Joyel, the clock will start when I begin your first question.”

Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump gave a prime time address to talk about the war in blank. Iran. Right.

On Monday, airport wait times drop significantly as many blank workers received their first paycheck and over a month. TSA. Right.

On Thursday, Trump fired his attorney general blank. Pamela Bondi. Right. Right. This week, Connecticut was the only school

whose men and women's teams both made it to the final four of the blank. Oh, um, March madness in C.W.L.S. Somebody sports ball. Right.

This week, a group of thieves in Europe who stole 12 tons of KitKats were publicly praised by blank. Donald Trump? No, by KitKat, who said the thieves had excellent taste.

Nice. This week, police and Michigan are facing criticism after a woman they arrested handcuffed in place in the back of a cruiser was able to blank. Oh, get out of the handcuffs?

She was able to wiggle out of the half-open car window and escape without any of the cops noticing. The woman who was being arrested for a parole violation was caught on camera squeezing herself through the cruiser's half-open window

wiggling her way to the ground and making a run for it as four cops stood nearby and not a single one of them noticed. It's just one of those rare cases where I'm like, "Yeah, you guys should definitely delete

the body cam footage because this is embarrassing." Yeah. Fun fact about me, y'all.

“I got the only thing Dainty about me is my wrists”

and I could get out of handcuffs. Yeah. Right. Bill, how did our favorite little criminal do? (laughs)

For, right. Eight more points. Total to ten. Enjoy all this leading. (audience cheering)

All right. So, that means Rachel, you're up next. Yes. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a federal judge halted construction

on Trump's proposed addition to the blank. Ballroom. Right, White House. This week, average blank prices in the U.S. rose above four dollars a gallon.

Right. On Wednesday, Russia said it would continue trying to provide blank with oil despite the U.S. blockade. I'm not sure.

Keep up. Keep up. Keep up. Thanks to a hacker, people who called the White House this week noticed that it came up

as blank on their caller ID. Have a John. (audience laughing) At Steam's Island. (audience laughing)

Following years of help setbacks, beloved Canadian diva blank announced her return to the state. Chilling beyond. Right.

This week, a town in Missouri complained of a quote,

“unforgettable odor after a truck spilled”

40,000 pounds of blank nearby. Fish. 40,000 pounds of tofu. This spilled tofu set for three weeks before cleanup began.

Blanking the town with an unforgettable and unavoidable stink. According to the local fire chief quote, "It was probably one of the worst smells I've ever smelled in my life

and I've smelled some nasty stuff." (audience laughing) Okay, brag. Bill, how did Rachel do? We're stuck in the loop. Rachel got exactly

the same score as Royale. Really? Yeah, both of them have 10. So what leaves you Peter fill in the blank?

On Tuesday, the Supreme Court ruled that Colorado's ban on blank therapy

likely violates the first amendment.

Um, at a conversion therapy. Right. On Wednesday, sources reported that private space company blank had filed papers to go public. The, yes, basics?

Right. On Tuesday, the FDA proved the second blank pill for weight loss. Like, uh, does that pick or something? The GLP, that category, yeah, okay.

This week, auctioneers estimated that one of Bob Marley's blanks would sell for over $30,000. Old joints. (audience laughing) One of his dreadlocks.

Oh, yeah. Following a roll over crash, golf legend blank pled not guilty to driving under the influence. Tiger Woods.

Right. A new study proved that blank could be classified as a musical instrument. The recorder. (audience laughing)

Sorry. It's already real. It's already really real. It's just so close. I don't know.

Manays. Manays is a musical instrument. According to a study by Northumbria University, Manays fits the official definition of a musical instrument.

Something that can produce or modify sound in a controlled and intentional way. This is revolutionary news for musicians. And marks the first time that you can get sick from listening to music that's been left out

in one of the side. (audience laughing) All right, Bill. How did Peter do? Well, in my 12 years here,

we have never had a three way time.

(audience cheering)

(audience laughing) It's really hard. Coming up, our panelists predict

“after his visit to the Supreme Court this week”

what'll be the next surprising place Donald Trump will show up.

But first, let me tell you that.

Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Fill up, go to go rights, our limits.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

“Thanks to the staff and crew with the Student Baker Theatre.”

Vijay Leederman composed our theme,

our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,

Miles Dornboss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blight Robertson, Monica Hickey and Travis Hagen. It's going one week since Peter Gwyn looked at me. (audience laughing)

Emma Choy is our vibe curator. Technical Direction, Lorna White.

“RCFO is Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert Newhouse.”

Our senior producer is Ian Chilag.

The executive producer of Wayway Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, where will Trump show up next? Joyelle. A gold plated platinum line, Diamond Acrusted Prison Cell. (audience laughing)

Rachel and his children's lives. (audience laughing) And Peter Gross. Driving down Pennsylvania Avenue in a car made of human skin. (audience laughing)

All right, if any of those show up, you're going to hear about them on weight, weight, don't tell me. (audience laughing) Thank you, Bill Curtis.

(audience cheering) But, in the way you can see me doing stand-up at the Lost Church in San Francisco on April 29th, and the Muslims are coming with equally threatening friends. Hope to see you there.

In the meantime, thanks to Joyelle, Nicole Johnson, Peter Gross and Rachel Costa. I'm the keen for our side, and we'll see you next week. (audience cheering)

(upbeat music) (upbeat music) This is NPR.