Mom Guilt - Let’s Talk About It | Sadie Robertson Huff

That's why I love hunger root.

“It can play my mills, film my car, and deliver everything I need for the week based on my preferences, budget, and any health goals that I'm working towards.”

It takes that mental load completely off my plate, and that alone is such a good, and the variety is amazing.

They have over 50,000 chef crafted recipes to inspire you in more than 1,000 grocery items, so it's super easy to keep everyone in your house happy. Lots and meals that they suggest come together in 15 minutes or less, which is a total win. I also love that they screen out over 200 additives like high fruit toast corn syrup and artificial sweeteners, which is amazing.

“We just have love hungry, since the start, the first time we did it, we actually let hunger root choose for us, which was kind of fun, because we found things we might not have put for ourselves.”

They also have, like I said, so many meal ideas, which is so great to have all of that, and just one app and one place, and then sit right to your door.

So I know you're going to love hunger as much as we do, for a limited time, get 40% off your first box plus, get a free item in every box for a life, go to hungru.com/wo and use the code wo.

Again, that's hungru.com/wo with the code wo to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. What's up, friends? Have me my day, everybody. I hope you're having a great day. Okay, so this is what you're going to do for us, you're going to have a free item of your choice for life, and if you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life, and if you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life, and if you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life, and if you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life, and if you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life, and if you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life, you're going to have a free item for life.

What's up, friends? Have me my day, everybody. I hope you're having a great day. Okay, so this episode is actually a solo episode, flying solo, flying solo, okay, sorry, but I'm actually really excited. I don't typically do solo episodes. It's been a long time, but recently,

“I was doing like answering DMs on Instagram, or I was like asking me anything, and it was just really sweet how many questions I got from first time moms, and I'm first time moms,”

it just like Todd, their questions, kids, questions, so many mom questions, and I was like, okay, maybe I should do a podcast episode on this, because there's so many questions,

and so I literally said, should I do a podcast episode, and what questions do you have, and the response was very overwhelming, so many questions, so many of you guys out there, just trying to learn from another fellow mom and sister and a friend out there who's in it with you guys, and so I'm super excited to do this. I just want to say first and foremost, that I know not all of our listeners are parents right now, or moms right now, I know that some of you guys are younger, some are older, some of you are longing for a children and longing for a family,

and I just want to say this podcast, yes, is specifically towards moms that we have done so many podcasts over the past eight years, almost a podcasting, and we sometimes go into niche topics and different topics, and this is one that I know a lot of our listeners are walking through, so we want to speak to this, but I really do hope that this can bring hope to anyone no matter what season of life you're in, and I just know those who are longing to be a mom, that longing is so real, and comes from such a deep place, and even at aching a lot of your hearts, and so I just want to say,

God, see you, God knows your timing, who knows where you're at, and he loves you, friend. We have several podcasts that I know can speak directly to so many of you, whatever season you're walking in. But today, we are going to talk about questions from the new mom, and y'all, y'all asked a lot of questions, I have three pages of questions, and that doesn't even begin to cover the multitude of questions you guys sent in, but we're going to go through a couple different categories, just general motherhood, we have newborn stage, postpartum stage, toddler phase, all the things.

I also want to be very clear from the beginning that I am a mom of three girls, and my girls are four, two, and six months. I say that to say, I do not have it figured out. Sometimes it's better to get advice from somebody who has like 20 year old, 30 year old, you know, people have actually done this, and I actually have my grandmother on here, my mom and her, my great grandmother on here for advice, and so this isn't necessarily advice from someone who's crushing it. This is me saying, I'm in it with you, and here's what we've done, and here's what's helped, and here's what we've seen, great things in, here's what we're still struggling with, here's how we're learning, all the things we're in it with you.

Actually, it was just a wedding recently, and this mom came up to me, and we're actually good friends, but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

But these little ones, and she said, I actually go to your podcast, listen to it for advice, and I try to find like motherhood advice. Like, how are you doing it? And I just simply, I guess, kind of gave her empathy in the moment, but just want to her to know, like, it is hard. Like, I get it. It's hard for me, too. I'm not over here, like, crushing it just because I'm the one giving the advice. I'm just trying to be a sister in a friend. It is hard.

There are so many struggles, it stretches you, then, but it's also the most amazing and beautiful gift, and I truly have such a joy in it, because it is one of the greatest gifts that guys given.

And so, all that to say, I'm in it with you, she also told me that I take a very chill approach and she's very inspired by how to chill and casual I am about it.

“While she was saying this to me, kids like screaming in my arms, and I'm just like, yeah, and the truth is, I think that that is key to it is just not overstressing, not overthinking.”

And a lot of my answers to these, as I was just skimming through them, I'm like, man, I kind of do take a chill approach, and I think that's because I have a mom who has just been very mellow, very even killed, doesn't kind of stress it, and I'm super thankful to learn from that. And so, hopefully, through this podcast, you will just hear grace and peace over you, you will hear somebody who empathizes with you, who's with you, but hopefully some good advice in the midst of it. So, without further ado, let's kick it off.

Okay, first question was, how do I fix the mom guilt from having my second child? Now, we're just going to stop here for a second because there has been so many questions about mom guilt. How do I deal with mom guilt going back to work? How do I do it with mom guilt? How do I deal with mom guilt on paying one more attention to the other? And mom guilt was such a trend, and I thread through so many of these questions.

I just want to first address this whole idea of mom guilt.

That is something that I just want all of us to, I mean, I know it's hard. I'm not going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard.

“I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard.”

I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard.

I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard, but I'm going to say it's hard. I literally said in Genesis, be fruitful and multiply, like multiply.

That doesn't mean just have one kid and pay them all the attention in the world. It's like, no, God gives you this amazing gift as a mom. Your heart literally expands.

Somehow, somewhere you think I could never love anything more than this baby,

and then you have another one. And you love them just the same. And you have another one. You love them just the same. And the love multiplies and the love grows.

God does not just give you enough love for one kid. If God gives you another kid, he gives you the love to love that kid and to take care of that kid. And so there is nothing wrong with that, and so take off the guilt. When it comes to mom going back to work, now I get this. I had to really wrestle with this because when I first started going back to work,

even after having honey, I really wrestled. And I was like, okay, again, like, is this wrong? Like, should I feel guilty?

“Should I not be working? And I really had to ask the Lord like, God, have you called me to this?”

Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? And I really did feel this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Now, some of you guys, you're not going to work necessarily because you feel cold to that. It's out of necessity. Like, your family needs the money and the income.

And that's not wrong. That's part of life. That's providing for your family. So you're certainly not wrong for going back to work to provide for your family. That's even biblical.

And when you look at the proverb of 31 woman, this woman worked. This woman was doing stuff. She was selling things and making clothes. And she was preparing for her house to be ready for the winter. And she was doing all of these things.

And yet it says that her husband and her children would praise her name and call her blessed. And so her working didn't affect her family in a negative way. Her working actually gained respect from her family. And so when you look at it, Biblically, it know you're not wrong for a working.

Know you're not wrong for providing for your family.

You should feel proud of what you're doing.

“And what I see in the proverb of 31 woman is not a guilty woman.”

She's a confident woman. She has strength in dignity. And so one of my favorite pieces of advice was actually from Dr. A. Women who came on this podcast. And he said guilty parents raised confused kids.

And he said, be a confident mom. Don't be a guilty mom. Because if I'm guilty, then what I'll do is I'll parent out of guilt. In other words, I'll come to work. I'll feel guilty for being gone on day.

I'll go home and then I will give them whatever they want. Or I will apologize for being gone and for working. But then that's a little bit confusing because then why do you keep doing it? Well, why aren't you still parenting out of the confidence of. I'm doing what I'm doing to provide for my family.

I'm doing what I'm doing because I believe in it. That changed things for me so much because I stopped parenting out of guilt. I stopped trying to make up for me being at work or whatever. And I just came home and I was confident in the decision I was making to go to work to do my job. I was confident in what the Lord called me to do and how it provides for my family.

And I shared that with my kids. I told them the joys that I had throughout my day. And the podcast that I was doing or the book that I was writing or the things that I, the conversations that I had and the meetings that I had. And my kids actually love to hear about it and you know it's so cool now. My girls, they love to pretend they have a podcast.

They both will be a little podcast host.

They love to preach. They always go find their Bibles and preach to me.

“They love any kind of microphone because that's what they see me doing.”

And so I think that it's an amazing thing when you're confident in what you're called to do. And it'll be the same thing for you. I have friends who are teachers and their kids pretend to teach. Nurses and their kids pretend to be a nurse. Be confident in the work that you do and the job that you do.

And you'll be amazed how your children respect you for that. Okay, can we talk about how hard new this to find a gift for the men in our lives? They'll actually wear because I don't want to be the girl by in this safe option. The ends up folded in a drawer or back in the closet forever. And if I'm giving something to Christian, I wanted to be something that he reges for constantly.

And let me tell you, this man is picky. That's why we love poncho outdoors. Their shirts look so good on him, feel amazing. And they're actually built to last. He also gets super excited about a new poncho shirt.

Their flannels are next level, super soft and stretchy, but still durable. And the details like hidden pockets, a sunglasses holder, and even a built-in lens cloth are the cherry on top.

“And really with the mid-year life are going to love.”

Poncho has thought of everything. So he can wear it to dinner, working outside, hanging with our girls, literally anything. And their denim shirts feel broken in from day one. They look sharp from the start. And somehow they just keep getting better over time.

And I love this poncho offers free shipping, free returns, and even exchanges anytime. If it's not his favorite shirt, they're going to make it right for you.

Poncho literally is amazing.

Christian actually got his brother, Chad. It's like a full poncho spread of her Christmas. And it was so exciting, Chad's tried all of them on for us. And it was just really funny. So poncho is amazing for any type of guy.

Give him something that he'll wear every day, not just on the date night. Go to poncho at doors.com/woven into your email for $10 off your first order. Again, that's poncho P-O-N-C-H-O outdoors.com/woven for $10 off and free shipping. And when they ask how you heard about it, make sure you let them know that the woe that's good podcast sent you there. I tell you short story real fast.

I was struggling recently because I had been gone a little bit and just working a lot. And sometimes that guilt does could be like, "I've been gone too much." And it was just so sweet because that night I was laying in bed with her. And she said, "Mommy, you are the heart of this home." And I was like, "What did you just say?"

Because she's four. And I'm thinking, "Did she really just say that? It sounded so profound." And like, "What did she say, honey?" She said, "You're the heart of this home."

And I said, "Huh, that is so sweet." Like, when did you hear that phrase? And she said, "Well, you know how like Judy hops is the heart of Zootopia. You're the heart of this home." And she began to describe this scene where at the end of Zootopia.

I think it's the first one.

The lion is really proud of Judy hops for doing what she did. Because she's this little bunny. Then think she was capable of doing that. But she did a great job. And the lion refers to Judy as the heart of Zootopia.

And honey said, "When I was watching that, I thought of you." And I wanted to tell you that you were the heart of our home. And that really was such a profound thing for a four year old to say and even think of. And to me, it really felt like God's way of reminding me that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And I'm still doing a good job.

I mean, if you're a mom, then you're called to be a mom.

And that's your first job. But if he's also called you outside of the home to work.

Or you need to do that to provide for your family. Still a calm of God on your life. Because it's to provide for your family, which is a calm in your life. If that's part of it, God will equip you to do both things well. He will give you the grace and the strength to do both things well.

And I don't believe that one thing has to suffer. I don't think my job has to suffer, my family has to suffer. If that's the case, then I'm not doing it right. I'm not receiving the grace of the Lord or the strength of the Lord or the mercy of God. And so for me, that was such an encouragement.

I really feel like that was from the Lord that I'm doing a lot in ministry and in my job. But I'm still the heart of my home. And that doesn't just come because I am the mom. I think that comes from being the mom, you know? And so again, I don't get it right a lot of times with that was a huge encouragement to me.

“So when it comes to mom girl, I think you need to ask yourself is what I'm doing wrong.”

If it's not wrong, then say the Lord take away the guilt. You know, give me a confidence in the mom that you've made me and the job that you've called me to do. If that's the case, give me a grace that's sufficient for me in my weakness. Give me mercies in the morning. And I'm not going to be, you know, insecure about it.

I'm going to be confident. I'm going to walk with strength and with dignity knowing that this is my job and I'm doing it well. And so I hope that helps. Go read, probably so anyone too, you'll be encouraged. But how much is woman worked and how much her family adored her?

Very encouraging to me. Okay. When do I get started? When do I start getting my kids to read the Bible? Okay, this is actually a really sweet one.

So my friends do a great job with this. Like literally my friends, baby is two months old and she has reading the Bible over that baby. I think that is amazing and so beautiful. I did not do that.

“And I think it would have been great to do that.”

I think it's awesome. I don't think there's ever too early of a time to read the Bible over your children. But I also don't want you to feel guilty. Again, about to mom, if you have it yet. I mean, just recently I was like, okay, I want to start reading the Bible to my kids more consistently.

Now we talk about the Bible a lot. We've read them Psalms. I teach them verses just on the day-to-day. Like, we'll be like, I don't know if honey's afraid.

I've always said, like, do not fear for iron with you.

That's a Bible verse. You know, like, I tell honey these things. But I didn't like read the Bible with her. And so recently it was asking someone. I was like, oh, like, how should I start reading the Bible for my kids?

And they were like, oh, the Jesus storybook Bible. It was like, oh, I haven't heard of that. And they were like, you don't have the Jesus storybook Bible. You haven't been reading the Bible to your kids. And I was just like, ah, no, they're like four and two.

I didn't know I was like, I didn't even know. Like, we talk about the Bible. We love the Lord. But I say it to say, like, I think people automatically, like, you feel guilty if you're like behind on something.

But you're not behind. Like, you've been living the Bible to them. You know, like, you are, you might be the Bible that are reading right now. You know, by the way that you're loving them. And by the little verses that you're teaching them day by day.

And even for me, like, we talk about the Mino app all the time. We've shown them so many movies about Jesus. There shows about Jesus. There shows about Jesus. They know the stories.

We go to Sunday school. And again, if you're not even doing that. And you're like, oh, I'm not doing that. Hey, just start somewhere. You know?

And so for us, we started reading the Jesus storybook Bible at night. It's been so great. And they love it so much. So if you don't have that book, I highly recommend it because it's very true to the Bible

and a way they understand it and it always points to Jesus, which is really cool.

Okay. My friends are moms. And I'm not ready. How do I deal with the feeling of judgment and feeling less than because I don't have a child yet? I mean, again, kind of goes back to the same thing as I'm saying to the mom, like, be confident.

Be confident and what is on your heart to do and what God calls you to do in the season that you're in.

“The truth is, kids are the greatest joy, but it does change things.”

You might not be ready to step into that season of your life. And that's okay. You might be in a time where you and your husband need to establish a relationship and build a strong foundation and a friendship. You might want to just, you know, enjoy the job that you might just work. You know, four years in college for like everybody has a different scenario and a different season of life that they're in.

So just because that works for one person doesn't mean it works for you. And I'm probably going to give that same advice for a lot of these answers. But it goes back to being confident and the decision that you're making and being confident in what God told you. If God's, you know, laying on your heart to start a family and you're not, that's one day of God's not doing that and you're not feeling that longing towards that. It's okay. Be where you're at, but what you have.

Okay. Let's see. After my first pregnancy, I experienced a lot of pregnancy rage and post-brand depression.

Um, I'll say that for me, I didn't experience post-brand depression, but I did experience pretty severe post-brand anxiety after having honey.

It was really, really hard, but I did a lot of work to become healthy again. I, uh, mentioning Dr. Aiman earlier, I started seeing Dr. Aiman. He really helped me work through a lot. I have a counselor, her name is Ms. Tara. She's been on the podcast before. She helped me a lot. And, um, I really did a lot of work to make myself mentally healthy again before having haven. Um, and I also changed some lifestyle things that I thought were probably contributing to my anxiety.

For instance, after I had honey, I did not slow down. I was just like, you know, I can have a kid to keep going at the same pace I did before.

“And that is not true. You have to change. You have to adapt to the new season of life.”

I actually heard Haley Bieber say this one time in an interview, and it was something she was learning in motherhood. And she said, I used to think, like, okay, I'll have the baby and then I'll go back to like my normal life, like, I'll get back to it. I'll get back to it. And then I realized there's no going back. There's only going forward. And that's actually so true. And I think, with after having honey, I kept trying to get back to what I used to do, not realizing this is a new stage of life. Like, I'm a mom now. So things have to change a little bit. And that's not a bad thing.

That's a great thing. It's just a new thing. And I think as long as we're trying to like be who we used to be and go back to what it used to be, we'll kind of live in this like, I guess like a little bit of like grieving that who we used to be in disappointment. But as long as you just say, like, no, this is who I am now and you go forward. You will learn to love your new self and this season. Like for me now, I'm so different than who I used to be, but I love who I am now. I wouldn't ever want to go back to who I was before having kids.

Even though that was a great time of my life and it was so special and something I'm so thankful for. But that was that time of my life. And this is this time of my life.

“And so I said to say, do the work that you need to do before going forward if you're dealing with postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety.”

See accounts or get the help. And then find your new rhythm of normal. Find your mind to love who you are now and this season you're at now. Instead of comparing yourself to who you were then. And for me, I did not experience postpartum anxiety with haven or kit. And so you can move forward and you can be healed from that. It just takes a little work in a little time. Okay. How did you manage going from one child to multiple?

I wrote on here, just do it. You just do it. You just figured out as you go and you just learn as you go. I was actually at that same wedding. Oh, it's just that. I was out, you know, rocking kit and another mom came out and she was rocking her daughter.

And she was like, oh, this is my first ever, you know, wedding to attend with a baby. And this is our first baby and it's so hard.

“And I was like, oh, I remember that. Like, I remember the first wedding. I went to with honey and it's so hard. I even remember the first one with haven. It was so hard.”

And what things are just a different after you have kids when you're going with your kids because you're normally outside rocking them the whole time. What everyone else is inside and dancing and enjoying. And it's funny because now with kit, I don't mind leaving the party. I actually and some ways enjoy it because I realize how fast this season goes now. And she said to me, she was like, oh, but I know it's so much harder for you if three kids only have one. And I said, actually, it's not. I said it was way harder with just one than it is with three.

And I was like, because when I just had one, I was trying to learn how to be a mom. And now that I have three, I feel confident in being a mom. And so for me, the more kids I had, the easier it got because I felt more confident in my role as a mom.

As the first one, I just didn't know what I was doing. I was trying to figure it out. And that was so hard.

And so for me, multiples have been easier because I feel more confident and I've learned so much than even one kid. So I actually think, one kid's harder than three kids at times because with one kid, it's your first time to do it with your third kid. It's your third time to do it. So hope that encourages you. I've been thinking a lot lately about how real change usually doesn't come from big dramatic overhauls, but it's really the small things that you do consistently that stick. And in this season of life, busy, full sometimes chaotic, we're trying to sneak in a little more protein to our diets, but it has to be simple.

And that is why I love Taylor dukes bonus protein powder for the whole family. It's made from 100% grass fed bone broth, but you seriously cannot taste the bone broth at all. It's just clean, smooth, delicious way to get collagen rich protein into our daily routine.

And I love that the founder of Taylor dukes is a functional medicine nurse practitioner and a fellow Christian mom. The heart behind the company is so intentional, pressure-free, wellness, and that is something I can get behind.

“Like I mentioned, we love the vanilla, but we really love it all. The chocolates come in with me next.”

We really, every single person in our house drinks is Christian, me, the kids, they love it. I actually even put it into our muffin bags in the morning too, as well as the smoothies that we drink. It's just great for you. You can literally feel the difference. Like I said, it's dairy-free, which is a huge one for us. TDW gave me an exclusive offer that I'm stoked about, so you can use my link shop.taylordukeswomeness.com/wode to save 15% off-site-wide anytime. Plus for the next 48 hours, you can also unlock two free gifts with any full-size protein purchase.

And let me just tell you all the things that they have are good. They're a tri-lata. You got to try it. That's shop.taylordukeswomeness.com/wode.

What is something that you've learned in the motherhood that no one told you prior to becoming a mom? I actually wrote down that, that the first time, to me, is the hardest. It's your first time to do anything. And you're getting confidence and you'll grow in that. I also think that you look at moms and you just think they're just superheroes and you think they're just powerhouses. You always think moms have it like going on. But then you realize that every mom feels overwhelmed. Every mom probably didn't sleep great that night before. Every mom is going on little sleep.

But there's a security and a confidence in being in the season you're in and like, gosh, I just, I can't explain the joy in motherhood. It's so, such a joy.

“There's such a pride in it. There's such a joy in it. And that's why I hope people can get rid of the guilt because I just enjoy it so much.”

And I think that, yeah, even with the lack of sleep, even with the silly things and the tantrums and the losing our patients and all that, that's all a part of it.

But there's still such an enjoyment. Okay, how do you know when is the right time to start having babies? Multiple people ask this. I just want to want to say to you all, you don't, you don't know when the right time of kids is. And you really don't even have that much power in that in that process. And I actually want to read y'all another verse. I'm going to bring out my computer again because I think these verses are so good when it comes to thinking that we can plan everything. And that goes both ways. Sometimes you want to have kids and it doesn't happen your own plan. And, you know, years to go by of infertility. And I've walked that road with so many friends. We have an amazing infertility podcast that Bella and I did together.

“We also have a great one that Don Cherie and I did together called the slow burn. So, I know that is such a hard road to walk.”

And then you have the other extreme of that where you did it in plan of having a kid and you find out your pregnant. And that's also a part of it. We weren't necessarily planning the timing of having kid.

We thought we were going to wait a couple of years. And in fact, I even thought I needed to wait a couple of years because I felt like my body really need to recover from having to.

Kind of traumatic birth experience with honey and then a sea section with haven and I was like, I really need time for my body to recover. I actually met with a doctor the day I found out I was pregnant with kid that morning. I'm just meeting with a doctor for some recovery things from the past pregnancies. And I was like, oh, I just I'm so ready to get my body back and like feel more strong. And I said for me to one day have another kid. I'm hoping like years on the road. She said, you're not there's no chance your pregnant. I said, no, no, we're really trying to wait so that I can get my body back. And then hello, that afternoon.

I took a pregnancy test because after I said, no, I kind of got my head. I was like, well, I don't know. And honey had been telling me that she thinks I have a baby in my tummy. And all these crazy things and I was feeling a little tired. So I was taking a test and sure enough I was pregnant. So said to say, like, it's not all in your plan and your timing and you thinking you know you're ready or you're not ready. And I want to read these verses to you, probably 169 says, we can make our plans. But the Lord determines our steps.

So there it is as plain as day. You can try to make all the plans you want and you can dream about the timing. But at the end of the day, the Lord determines your steps. I love this one too, preversed 1921. Many are the plans in a person's heart. But it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. So again, you can have all the plans in the world. But it is the Lord's purpose that's going to prevail. And at the end of the day, that's actually what you want. I cannot imagine my life without kid. I can't imagine my life without the timing of having kid. The way that my girls adore their little sister, the way that we adore her and her little life is so precious and so beautiful.

So I say it just say like you actually want God's way anyways, his way is actually better. And even those like Dodgerie who walk through seven plus years of infertility.

I don't think she never want to walk that road again. But at the same time, look at what the Lord has done with her story. And now she has four kids and has talked to so many people and preach as so many people about the waiting season and the slow burn and how God meets you in it. And so the Lord's plan will prevail. It's the Lord that determines the steps. So it's okay to plan and it's a beautiful thing to plan. There's wisdom and planning, but at the end of the day, you don't have that much power to decide when you're going to have a family. You just don't.

“And so I love that so many people asked that question. I think it is good. I think today to realize we don't have that under control. Okay, how do you deal with anger and resentment when so much responsibility falls as you as the mom.”

I think that this is a hard thing because a lot of people have asked us like how how does a dad help more in the newborn stage how does you know all the things. I think at the end of the day, you have to realize that your roles are different your responsibilities are different. The dad and the mom have two different roles. Y'all are a team though, and so I think the more you can be a team, the better and be good teammates to each other, but don't compare your roles to his or you're going to be better. You're going to be reasonable, but that's not his responsibility.

I mean, God, the way that you're even created, you're the one that when the baby cries, like just quite literally and physically, your breasts will fill it with milk.

“You're going to have to do as the mom that he's not. I mean, if you bottle feed, then he can help. I bottle fed honey, she was a formula baby and Christian helped me so much, well, then I breastfed heavy and get and that almost on me.”

There are things that he can help with, though, he can help with the diapers. He can help, you know, with so so many things, and I'm going to do more things hands on with the baby. One thing that I think Christian did a really good job of, he didn't necessarily do a ton in the newborn stage for the baby as much as I did because I'm the mom, but he did a lot for me. So I think like he took care of me what I took care of them and that was really, really helpful. I don't get me wrong. He loved them very, very well, but it's just different. You know, I certainly can relate to times of feeling like, oh, it's all on me and the responsibilities and that's so heavy, but again, like realize that that is the grace that God has on your life and receive the grace.

Your grace is sufficient for me. Your power is my perfect amount of weakness. So yes, I feel stretched then yes, I feel over-touched. Yes, I feel like I have so much responsibility, but yet God, you made me a mom and you built me to do this and I am capable of it. And you just got to lean into the Lord. It's an amazing time to lean into the Lord and to get to know him better and again, let your spouse know ways that he can help communication is everything and the more he can help you as you help them.

It's a beautiful thing. Don't grow resentful and don't compare your spouse to other spouses or your all story to other people's story because everyone is different.

Someone actually has how to do a comparison to other moms. I would say just know that you're different than other moms. There's going to be strengths that you have that they don't have and there's going to be weaknesses that you have that they don't have. And if you have weaknesses that another mom doesn't seem to have and instead of comparing yourself learn from her, learn from the techniques, learn from the methods, learn from the things she's doing, but if it doesn't fit your family, then it's okay. It doesn't have to fit your family.

For me, me and my sister-in-laws are parenting like so differently, Rebecca and Mary Kate and I have like such different ways that we approach parenting. But I don't compare myself to the way they're doing, even though they're doing a fantastic job. I learned from them a lot, but I also realized that Christian and I's lifestyle is different than Mary Kate and John Luke and Rebecca and John Reed, all of our lifestyles are different from each other. So if we took the same approach at everything and wouldn't even make sense for our family because our lifestyles are different.

“And so then to the day, just realize that your home is different than they are home. So what work for them doesn't mean that has to work for you or be something that you have to implement in your home.”

I think a lot of times moms are feeling like failures when it's not that you're failing. It's just that you're not doing what they're doing, but that's not even necessarily what's right for you. And so do what's right for you and your family, that'll take a lot of that comparison off.

A lot of prayer, a lot of prayer and a lot of advice from other parents that decided to post their kids on social media and those that didn't and just kind of getting both perspectives.

“And there are still times, although our kids are on social media all the time and we have TV show and we're out there in the world. There are still things that I go, "Okay, I'm not going to post that."”

So we have our boundaries and what we share and what we don't share. And we have a reason for what we share and what we don't share. Actually Alexa Penavega gave me this advice when I asked her about it because she shares her family on social media. And she said, "We feel called to share our family because we feel like that is missing in the TV industry and the movie industry is godly families and what that looks like. Yeah, we have an amazing opportunity on social media to be an example to people of what a godly family looks like. And that really spoke to me a lot because my family through duck dynasty like certainly took up that call of sharing our family and the example it can be.

We've seen how the lords used that and so I felt like in my own sense. Before we knew we were ever going to have to go to the revival or be on TV again. I was like, "Okay, this is a great way to practically be the light of the world and to show people an example of a family and I felt like the lords spoke a lot of things to my heart through prayer that gave me confidence to pursue that.

“There are of course fears, there are of course things that race lags but I just feel like the lords sometimes calls you to things that are scary. I think that's why he says to so many people in the Old Testament do not be afraid for I am with you.”

He says that because he knows what he's calling them to do is going to come with some things that bring opposition that bring hurt that bring pain that are literal battles are going to have to face.

But that doesn't mean that that's a no that doesn't mean you're not supposed to do it. Don't be afraid for I'm with you. Don't be afraid I'm calling you, but I'm going to go with you and go before you and behind you. And so there's a lot of prayer and that there's a lot of seeking the Lord and them. Asking God where the boundaries fall but at the end of the day I want to be a lot of the world and so that's kind of how I even asked myself I'm like okay with this post of our family show people an example of a godly family we'd love to share it and that's kind of how we do that so again a lot of prayer and not even just prayer front prayer throughout it we still pray we still as the Lord for wisdom on that.

I'm thankful for the example we've been able to be I mean even this past week we were out of town and it came in to tell you how many moms come up to me with kids and talk to me about like the example our family's been and I'm super super grateful for that. And this season of life we've got something on the calendar almost every single night and so it's a little bit crazy at the health house I used to be being tired was just part of mom life but then I discovered that the quality of your mattress makes a huge difference.

We've had our helix mattress for years now and it's legit then the best slate we've ever had Christian and I both are side sleepers and we took the helix sleep was and got matched with the midnight mattress and it supports your back and there's barely any motion transfer which is such a win whenever our girls sneak in for some middle-to-night cuddles. I used to do it with way more stiffness and just not feeling fully rested and now when I wake up I actually feel so ready for the day and in fact I'm in like a or a circle with my friends and we all look at like our reading and what our sleep was and everyone's like how are you getting such good sleep with all your kids and I'm like y'all I'm telling you I got a good mattress.

And if I'm being honest it's one of the things that I miss most whenever we travel whenever we're at different hotels. It is just nothing like coming home to my helix mattress helix is the most award and mattress brand. It ships free ride to your door and gives you the happy with helix. So there's a zero pressure it makes upgrading feels so easy. So go to helixleep.com/sadie for 20% off site wide. Again, that's helixleep.com/sadie for 20% off and make sure you enter our shows name after check out so that they know we sit you there. That's helixleep.com/sadie.

Now we're moving on to a different era of questions. You have any tips for first of a moment how to create a balance between being a mom and spending quality time with your husband.

“Biggest thing is be a team. Again, be a team and communicate and also go on dates like don't have so much guilt of leaving the kids for a night that you don't go on a date with each other and pursue each other. That's so important. So so important.”

Okay. Do you have any advice for keeping your marriage a priority for first-time parents? Again, prioritize your marriage and actually actively prioritize your marriage. Even last night, haven was being just to your zone and she said something to Christian and I said hey, you don't talk to your daddy like that. I said it's really important to mommy.

And I said that's not true. I said it. Me and your daddy love each other so much and out of our love.

“God gave us honey and haven't in kit and that's how the love overflows. And so we are not only being prioritizing our marriage with each other, but we're being prioritizing to our kids and letting them see that our love”

and our marriage is fundamentally very, very, very important in our home and that love in that marriage overflows to our kids. And so we try to be clear on that.

How do you balance having lots of family close by and figuring out your new role yourself? I would say receive help. Like you don't have anything to prove.

I think back in the day, think about how you did family in community like your family was your community. Now it is everybody lives everywhere. And that's a beautiful thing and that's a beautiful gift of the new age that we can go places and move places and you know go and be the light of the world wherever we're at.

But it's a gift to live beside family and it's a gift to live beside people who are like family who will help and bring dinner and help with the kids.

So I just think like you don't have anything to prove you're the mom even if you receive help and view it as a gift that it is.

“I think so many times like our generation is so big on boundaries and hear me boundaries are good and boundaries are needed.”

But sometimes we give so many boundaries that we're actually removing people from our life who we need to be in relationship with and relationships are messy and they are hard. Now obviously distinguishing there are relationships that are unhealthy. I'm not talking about that. Like unhealthy abuse of that is absolutely in need for a boundary. But there are just relationships in the nature of relationships are messy and are hard and sometimes you, you know, mess up in front of each other and you have to laugh it off. You have to say, that's just a part of being in community and being up close with people.

People are going to see you in your flaws as your mom because you're going to be stretched then and that's okay let them see you in that that just shows your human and so I would just lean into it let people come in let people surround you. Do you have any tips for prioritizing a personal relationship with Christ as a new mom? Yes, don't put pressure on yourself for it to look a certain way your quiet time is not going to be quiet your quiet time is probably not even going to be a specific time. I would say 24 seven relationship with the Lord is so key. Like God is in it all not just nurses in the morning. Mercy is all day every day not just grace and my weak moments grace it all my moments like I need God and I need the Holy Spirit to parent always and so invite him in and you'll grow in such an amazing relationship with him.

I mean, I love God so much more now with three kids than I did before three kids and that is not because we have more quiet time we have way less is because he's in it all and he really does provide the strength to be the mom that I am and I'm so thankful for that. I am praying it was my first how do you get over the fear of not knowing what to do. Again, how could you know what to do you're this is the first time you've ever done it you're not going to know what to do you lean into the Lord you asked for wisdom you call other moms and you ask them how to do it you listen to podcasts if you're listening to us you're doing it you're learning read books parenting books are great like fine people on social media who are influencers who you're inspired by.

At the end of the day be confident that if God made you the mom he will equip you with what to do if the Holy Spirit is in you he will speak to you he will lead you and so yeah just no one knows what to do no one knows every first time mom fills overwhelmed and that's just a part of it and it helps you become the mom you're going to be in the woman that you are. How were your sea section recoveries tough rough so many people ask me about like sea section versus vaginal delivery and much for my birth experience and to be honest you all there's no easy way to give birth and that actually biblical to that child birth is going to be hard.

But I would never here's the important thing to hear in that though I would never want to scare anyone away from having a baby or going through labor or having a sea section or having a child because the joy is so it's so outweighs the pain it's so outweighs the fear it's the best thing in the entire world and the best experience ever those were painful painful days and experiences.

But what a joy I mean I think about Hebrews 12 it says for the joy set beforehand Jesus endured the agony of the cross well that was horrific but for the joy set before him he did it for you and I and so.

An aspect of leaning into suffering of leaning into pain of leaning into a progress that's going to push your body.

But for the joy set before you you're going to have a baby on the other side and so what a great way to you know I mean obviously you can't relate to Jesus in that because I was like so horrific but.

“You know that pain brought new life is what I'm saying and that pain in labor will bring life on the other side and it's it's a joy so yeah see section recovery is rough.”

But at the same time brought me my girls and I'm so grateful for that.

Do you have any baby registry essentials I'm going to give you all my essentials if I forget a few I'm sorry because I'm sure I will. I'm a great city stroller just so good the outlet the outlet is like my key to sleeping peacefully I am over thinker I'm a warrior and so having an outlet just give me a peace of mind it's like a baby breathing monitor that I've used for all three girls. I've used for all three girls all of these I've used for all the girls do not allow a dream landscape sack it's a weighted sleep sack but it's not like to wait it's just perfect okay this is a new find but doctor green mom is like my favorite her.

“I think it's like doctor green. If you just type in that you'll it'll bring you to it but it's like all of these like college drops.”

Any drops fever drops everything but it's like herbal and good for you but their college drops are miracle workers if you have colickey babies I've had to know very hard but that is helpful. So if you the giraffe all three my girls love so be the giraffe it's their favorite and pretty much only toy of the newborn stage and then like I always say this because we're on the go a lot so we don't have like great bedtime routines. But I do have like consistent things I do around bedtime so like a softie for them like little soft blankets were like super good because anytime they could like grab a soft blanket or even put like a little Muslim cloth over their face or anything like that with white noise it was like no matter where we were they could go to sleep because that was like a consistent thing were like that meant bedtime and so those are really helpful for me.

Okay let's see what are some verses what are some verses that I can pray as a struggle of body image while pregnant I'm going to keep going because there's a few others around that how do you accept your body after babies. Do you have any advice for physical recovery after birth? As far as accepting your body after babies and even during pregnancy it's just I think gratitude is the biggest thing gratitude for what your body is doing and appreciating what your body is doing. I think about the verse like rejoicing or always again I say rejoice then talks about like with Thanksgiving and prayer and it's like essential like gratitude like present your request to God and then it's like and he will give you peace surprises all understanding.

“I think it's Philippians 4 but all that to say like gratitude and rejoicing and all of that like has so much to do with confidence and for me like my body is amazing.”

And like are you kidding me and birth my three children like that is insane and I actually always felt the most confident right after have my babies which is ironic because that's my body was like in the like least good shape I guess but I just had such an appreciation for what it just did and what it was capable of. And I think that gratitude appreciation goes such a long way I don't get me wrong I mean six months after kid here I am and I'm like okay my body's changed and there days I have to go like don't worry about it you know or like thank you Lord that.

That gave me my babies and it's really cute like a kids perspective it helps you because like honey like loves my season scar she like loves she loves the things of my body that I might have felt like insecure about that a change but she's like that's where kid came and this and that and so I think just lean into that appreciation and gratitude it goes such a long way. And then advice for physical recovery after birth and go at your own pace I'm not a bounce back girl like I'm like go at your own pace you're taking care of a baby your responsibility right now is not to get your body back it's not to bounce back it is to nourish the child protect the child you know help your child in every single way and so my body is like really to serve like our kids and to provide home for our kids and to.

Okay new born stage also we'll say in the not pressure yourself and having kids it is such a workout to just have children and you will be surprised about how your body just naturally gets back and it takes about nine months to a year but but it will. We're in our talks about that. What are your tips for establishing schedules for your baby and when do you start implementing schedule again no one's life looks the same and I would just say do what works for you don't and don't panic about it someone said do you have any tips for sleep regression actually a lot of people ask that I say don't panic you know everything get you will sleep again and it's okay this this is just a season of your life.

For me I just truly don't overthink all of that I just lean into when I'm weak that I'm strong it's okay to not have as much sleep I drink a coffee in the morning that's for me I know that doesn't work for everybody and if you need to establish more of a sleep routine to make sure that.

“You're getting the sleep that you need because obviously sleep is important that I would just encourage you there's so many great things out there.”

I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what ifs what if I fail what if it isn't where I need to be and looking back I can see so clearly that God had his hand in the whole thing starting something new is exciting but it's also very scary and that's why I'm thankful for Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US from massive brands to tiny startups team low starts on Shopify every single day for managing inventory and staying on top of orders it just works.

You can build a beautiful online store with templates that actually match your vibe and their AI tools are game changers they help write product descriptions page headlines even enhanced product photos plus everything's in one place so inventory payment analytics and they have a 24/7 customer support it really feels like you have a built in business partner.

“I think it's so amazing for anyone starting our business this is the place to do it like I said we do it for low dot commander does it it's just honestly very simple and does everything for you it's time to turn those what ifs into.”

Was Shopify today sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at Shopify dot com slash low go to Shopify dot com slash low again that Shopify dot com slash low for me you know it's okay we did the best that we came. All right let's see breastfeeding our formula we've done both I did formula fully for honey because we just had a lot of problems when trying to breastfeed based off of like the labor experience we had everything and so I did formula she is great did it fine and we.

“Then with haven I was like expecting me to not be able to breastfeed but I was actually able to in the hospital so I breast better and gave her formula too so we did a mix.”

And then with kid pretty much exclusively breast better I've started to try formula but she doesn't do great with it kind of messes up her tummy so I'm.

Figuring that out but again not only is your life different from everyone else's life but every kids going to be different every pregnancy is going to be different everybody's going to respond differently so you can't even compare your life to your you know previous experience sometimes. Um okay how do you get through tea thing how do you do with mastitis I this isn't my first for at all this too show pass like you're kind of get through it it's just going to be hard for a little while and it's kind of like whenever you have.

Like a cut on your arm and like it bothers you and all of a sudden like you the cut heals and you kind of forget that it was over there it's like yes it's a hard stage of like teething but when you get past it you'll be like oh I forgot how hard that was. I've got to see your daughter and do better than if you have to it's just hard I had mastitis with. Like the worst some about going my life so I was putting the household for a couple days hopefully that doesn't happen to anyone of you but again the social pass I'm fine you'll you'll be fine it's just really hard at the time.

Any tips on potty training okay so so many people ask this this is funny because I remember someone saying like you know a lot of people just wait to the kids ready or like you you either way to the kids ready or like you establish it hard and I remember with honey being like no I am not waiting light pushes ready I can do this like we we can take control of situation and y'all we tried so hard and nothing was working and then when she was ready at about two and a half.

She was just like I want to go in the party so she did and I was like why did I stress that so much and then haven't about.

Last little bit of things let's see how to what rhythms do you find most important in your home regarding discipleship how to consistency.

Someone also asked about like going back to work in ministry and I would say show your kids that ministry is your life like discipleship is it's not just something you do on Sundays it's not just something you do when you're specifically talking to your kids about God like it's always and so for Christian and I.

“There is this advice that we heard like to shepherd a child's heart is like always bring them back to like what God's responsibility is for you as parents to love them and like who they are as God's children and.”

Shepherding their hearts is like a beautiful approach whenever you think about discipling them and so it's amazing how we've seen so many opportunities to talk about God's love and to talk about who God is and just. Do that in such a casual way and just show them like ministry as our life like I don't want them to just see me praying over people on stage like they need to see me praying over people at restaurants they need to see me praying over people at Disney world like wherever we are we're praying for people wherever we are we're ministering to people and so just keeping in mind like not.

“Setting them up to think about their spiritual life as just when they're at church or just when it's in a ministry setting but like that's not always thing that's important to us so consistency is key.”

If you say patient with your kids especially in the toddler phase so any questions about that you're just not always going to be patient and you're not always going to be kind and you're going to lose your temper and I do that often and so just Christian and our biggest thing is apologizing when we get it wrong apologizing or not patient. I'm so sorry I got frustrated and I shouldn't have acted like that and essentially we're showing them what they're going to do when they're not patient and when they're not you know always the best temper and so I don't think your kids like need you to be perfect I don't think that's even a relatable example to them.

Now I think that you need to do the best that you can obviously as I am but you're human you're going to make mistakes you don't have to always feel guilty whenever you make those mistakes just learn to repent and apologize and teach your kids what repentance and true apology looks like. Okay yeah best advice for surviving the toddler phase I would just say like don't just survive it thrive in it it is messy is chaotic it is crazy but enjoy it like the toddler phase isn't just a phase it's the year that they'll be two and three you know and so there's so much fun in the midst of it and it is hard and there are so many hard moments but like just enjoy it the best you can be consistent with discipline.

“They need discipline that they are learning they are listening it will click now I see honey telling haven the same things that I told her and that's been really really sweet to see and so.”

You might feel like it's following on bad soil but it's following on soil and it will get watered in their hearts and you will see it grow so those consistent disciplines I heard someone say like whatever you don't establish in the toddler phase you're really good at doing it in a teenage phase so you rather do with it while they're toddlers and wait till the teenagers actually my dad said that and it's so true like. Now that you have them in your home with listening years even though it doesn't seem like they're listening like establishing these things in them you might not see a lot of fruit but they're will be fruit and one day you will and so stay consistent with discipline and also just enjoy it the best you can.

And I was feeling overwhelmed by our toddler in a public situation I was like I wish we just didn't bring her like we could have just gotten a babysitter and this is so hard and he said to me he was like I'm glad we brought her he was like because that's just the part of it he's like I'd much rather her be here and throwing a tantrum here than her be at home and not be with us and I love that perspective and it's so true like I would much rather her be here I said that out of embarrassment for her throwing a fit in public but.

But hey it's okay it's part of it and then also like giving them grace that they are two or three or four and they're learning and so I think parenting has taught us so much grace not just for ourselves before kids and like receiving grace of God because we're all just learning everyone is learning.

Okay any tips on traveling with new ones again enjoy it laugh at yourself know this two shall pass you'll make it there and you'll laugh at the memories getting there and it's just fun so.

I not I guess sometimes I I think what that girl said to me is like you know everything it's true but there is a lot of intention behind it and that intention is.

Meaning on the Lord leaning on scripture leaning on family and community and advice from others and just know that like you are in the same boat as everyone around you you might think everyone else is crushing it but they're dealing with tantrums they're dealing they've dealt with teething they dealt with long nights. You can do in the best they can and so receive grace friend receive the the peace of knowing that if God made you the mom then you're built for the job then you're called to do it and you're capable of doing it and you are the best mom for your kid because you are their mom and you are the heart of your home and you can be the heart of your home by providing for your family by loving your family by discipling your family by showing them the things in life that matter it does not have to be perfect.

“But where there is joy and where there is the spirit of the Lord there's so much freedom and there's so much there's so much joy and so much hope so I hope that you feel encouraged today.”

You're doing a great job if you have any other questions of course always then then this was really fun and I love diving into this because this is the stage of life we're in.

Is it Krishna or learning and talking about every single day and then the day like okay how we did today? We couldn't have that better. We couldn't have that better. But we're learning and we're in it together. So keep going mama high five to you you're crushing it and you are made for the job. (upbeat music)