What Actually Matters in Dating (and What Doesn’t) | Sadie Robertson Huff & Christian Huff

You're just talking about the story.

You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story.

You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story.

You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. You're just talking about the story. What is that?

Well, that's good fam. And walking back to the world. That's good podcast. But pretty usual. You've watched it.

Your money is better get it. I thought this was a Wednesday episode. You're Monday. Yeah. I thought you'd take your money.

I thought you'd take your money.

I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money.

I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money. I thought you'd take your money.

“Did you see someone commented the other day and said, "It's Christian.”

Your official co-host now for all the future episodes?" That was actually my burner. But I'm glad that that caught your attention. And actually just kidding. Whoever commented that, "Thank you.

I see you and I appreciate you." Well, they didn't say they wanted you to be. What? Well, they rest. Correct.

There it is. Ask it. I'm just kidding. I'm sure they did. I love you.

So that was not a good comment. No, it was probably a good comment. I was just laughing because I love it. You know, I love it. You took it good.

That means that you are at a great place in your life. I keep thinking about that. I love that. We keep the glass overflowing over here. There was maybe a time of life where I would've seen it.

How does that have empty? But not anymore. It's actually true. Right here. Right now we are realizing a major growth in your life.

That's sweet, babe. Yeah. That's sweet to be a glass have mid guy. And now you're a glass have full guy. Yeah, that's who I am.

Let's dive into these awesome questions that our friends had. I've asked us. We love going through the DMs. And actually the last time I posted it asked me anything on Instagram. I got a little distracted within the day and did not get to answer as many as I wanted to.

“And that's why I love podcast like this because we get to actually answer the questions that you guys are asking.”

And we always appreciate it.

Also, can I shout out that you're bio here? It's answering DMs with Christian. Husband, influencer, comedian, businessman, and dad. That is all. I cannot believe that's what Chad should be.

That's not Chad GVC. That's my teammate. Claire, shout out. Okay. Real, recognize real.

She's Claire, GVC. She is. And that's our group text with her. All right. Here we go into the questions.

We'll start with some fun ones. What is your favorite inside joke that you have together? Our inside joke that also is not inside anymore. It's outside everybody knows about it. Is that Christian calls me sandy when I do stupid things.

And you also call me kind of. But when you do things that aren't normally like you. You really sandy? Like if you curb the car or which is a common thing. And that is like, you know, things like that.

It's it's sandy or. What's the other one? You might call me the other one. Wow. Sami, Sami is when I like really do something crazy.

Sami is like, yeah. Sami is stupid. Yeah. Sandi is just like, you were cute. But that was that was nice.

That's that's that. That's our inside joke. Like if I say something wrong. Oh, yeah. Sandi or if I forget that I'm supposed to do something.

It's sandy. And that's kind of like an ongoing thing. And that's been good. That's been a thing for a long time. So that's because we'll go to restaurants and she'll say her name is Sadie.

And then to be come back on the cover of the receipt as either Sami. We're sandy. I get sit. I've gotten Sandi at Chick-fil-A. I've gotten Sandi at Starbucks.

And early on before, you know, whenever I was more known from like Doug Died to see and not doing like ministry stuff. People will like come out to me.

“And they're like, oh my gosh, are you sandy robbers?”

No, sandy Robinson. Yeah. I did get sandy robins in a lot. So sandy Robinson is like, when there's something really. It's my alter ego.

She's my alter ego. Yeah. But that's pretty nice. The sandy Robinson is also really cute. Okay.

That is cute. Okay. What are some girl names that you love but didn't end up using? Well, the one that I loved, we were very close to using it. And we might use it again one day though.

Sure. I thought Hampton was really cute. Yeah. We, which this is also going to answer to you. And we get all the time.

Are you all going to have a fourth child? We're not planning on having a fourth child anytime soon. Really, we're going to give it a lot of space in between because I would love some time to heal my body. And also just enjoy the stage we're in. But we love to one day have another baby.

And if it was a girl, Hampton would definitely be at the top of the list. And the other kids names we've kept very secretive.

This is the fourth baby. But we love the name Hampton. But we'd pray about it. Obviously, God's like done so much with the name stories. And the thought of a visit to me just freaks me out.

I don't know if I can see it. Thank you for that.

“Anytime I think about it, I just start like letting it around the house.”

He literally does. It's a really frustrating thing ever. I feel like I feel like I feel like I feel like I feel like I can't have a honey and a pepper. Because it's a huge thing to find in your pantry. But pepper for anyone who wants that name.

I've always loved the name Andy, but you didn't love that for a girl, but I think it's cute for a girl.

And then linen and like the name linen. We had a few that way that we liked. But Hampton was definitely the top runner. And honey has now named all of her baby dolls Hampton. Which actually happened to with Oakley, because I loved Oakley.

And then honey named all of her baby dolls Oakley. And pet shark. And pet shark. So yeah, those are some of the names that we liked. And then we have a boy name that we're not sure that has been the boy name.

But if any of the girls would have been a boy that would have been the name. We don't even have a runner up for a boy name. Yep, we don't. So if we had twin boys, we have to really think that would be crazy. Okay, carrying on.

If we ever have twin boys, we're going to like clip this podcast and I said that. But that would be crazy. Okay.

“What is something that y'all are looking forward to doing this year?”

A lot of things.

Are we sharing some of the things we know publicly?

Like. Don't share one of the things that you could share the other day. Oh, indeed. Okay. Yeah, well, you're speaking at the global leadership summit in London.

Super excited. I love London. So I'm excited to go do that. So speaking to London, this is kind of funny. And this is how real you guys are who have followed along the podcast for a while.

So there is a picture that I took with honey when I was pregnant with kids. And it was at the time that I hadn't announced like what the name was. And someone sent in or I don't know how I saw this. Someone was guessing that we were actually good in name are baby Hampton. Because they saw the word Hampton behind me in that picture with honey.

Like, there is any know how the other story with honey and haven. Yeah. And we had the honey thing in the haven they behind us.

And I was like, well, good thing I didn't see that because that might have swayed us.

So that was kind of cute. But yeah, we're going to London. I'm speaking at the Alpha Global Leadership Conference, which I'm like so excited about. Yeah, the Global Leadership Summit, that's the Global Leadership Summit. Yeah, but it's it's a Global Leadership Conference called Alpha.

And I'm really excited about it because actually I've done a Q&A at this before. And it was we were engaged right right where we got engaged. Yeah. And that was just like a really cool time in my life because I had a dream that I was speaking at something like this. And whenever they asked me to do it, it was totally a god thing because I just bought a ticket to go to.

It took it to learn from it because it's a leadership conference. And I wanted to learn and I was bringing some members from my team. And then they saw my name, you know, come up as they were seeing their tickets. And they were like, oh, she's coming. And then they asked me to do a Q&A.

And I was like, that's so wild that I'm getting to do this Q&A at this thing. And so here we are, you know, seven years later. And I can't believe that they asked me to speak at it. And I'm just super excited. And really leaning into what God is going to lay them a heart share.

So those super excited about that, I was speaking like to the next generation. And I am pumped. So that's coming up. And then Kayla fan awards coming up, which is going to be really exciting. My book comes out this year.

It's a big, it's a big year as far as like ministry and some work things we've been doing. But also like so many things within our family. I'm just excited about, but we'll save those for our personal life. If you couldn't instantly master one skill, what would it be? Hmm.

I don't, I don't need to think about it. Really? I feel like you noticed something that you don't want to say it. Well, I have an idea. I don't know.

But I want to like, I don't know if that's my question. You just say that you can backtrack. Well, so it's something like tennis, like that'd be pretty awesome. Well, that I thought it was going to be something embarrassing. That's great.

I don't know. I don't know. I thought it was going to be like something with like a slight ninja. I don't know, like throwing a slingshot. Like that.

I changed my answer. If I couldn't master a slingshot, like what David would eat.

“That's what I thought it was going to either be like something with a sword or something with a slingshot because you've been so in a David.”

I mean, you say ninja. Maybe sword fighting. Okay. Yes. Something like that.

I could master anything that King David or I could, if I could sing. Oh, speaking of this is hilarious. Are you outing me? Yeah. Well, are you singing?

I will not be afraid. Hey, when you guys dad, you really can't sing. Honey, yes. You really can't. You just, you really just can't sing.

What do they do now?

I'm not actually singing.

I'm just, that was just like a off the cusp. I thought you were using you. I would not fly. I would not be afraid. Well, what's the song?

Let's go fly. Let's go fly. I'm going to do it. I would not fly. That was a sandy.

Sure. That was a sandy. Again. Let me recover. I will not go fly.

I will not. I will not. I've been a sandy. That's such a funny mix up. Okay.

I love you. Cut this. No, don't cut this. Keep it rolling. What is something that you would master?

Okay. You know, I'm cooking.

“I would want to master cooking because it's something that you have to do so often.”

And it's so frustrating when you spend like so long cooking something and then it's not that good. That just, that just frustrates me because I'm not naturally good at cooking. But I want to be good at cooking because I want to provide for my family for that. And that way and I love Christian loves eating. So I want to be good at cooking.

It's true. And so like I appreciate good food. There's so many things that I'll try to cook. And then I will spend so long on it. And like, pull my all and then eat it.

And I'm like, she's honestly not good. You know, and that's so frustrating. So if I can master cooking and know like I'm going to make this dish and it is going to be so good. That would be awesome. Okay.

Let's get into a little deeper questions. We can maybe go about something fun later. Okay.

What are you going to stay on the fun for a second?

Oh, I mean, we only had three more fun runs. Okay, well, this answer really quickly. Okay. Okay. We'll go a little deeper.

“If you could give a TED talk on one topic and you have 50 minutes to repair what would you speak on?”

Do you have something? Yes. I like to be done living original or I would speak on being a sister in a friend. And I would speak on fitness through a healthy lens. That's great.

See, that was good. Quick and easy. What are some of your favorite Christian books you've ever read? Oh. I was going to say there's a lot.

There's really like, I haven't read that many. I'm not a big book reader. Well, I'm reading one right now. And by Jama Johnson, that's really been interesting to me. It's like the Jesus discoveries and talked about the shroud.

And just all these different artifacts that they found throughout history. Pointing to the fact that Jesus was a real person that lived a real life. So that was been really interesting to me lately. It's great. I think probably the most helpful.

One of the most helpful books I've ever read was winning the battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer. That helped me so much. I remember I had you read it too. I don't know if you were finished it. But it was extremely helpful for me. Very helpful.

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Don't wait head over to Liberty.edu/sadys today. Okay, let's carry on a little bit deeper. How do I set good boundaries and relationships when we have already broken so many boundaries in the past? It's a great question.

The first thought that comes by mind is needing

to surround yourself with people that can keep you accountable.

you know, maybe setting time limits on social media, or not staying at each other's house till late at night and hanging out with friends more often, isolating yourself.

“But I think for me, the thing that was biggest was accountability”

with my guy, friends. To when I would feel tempted to do something, or if we did cross a boundary, like having people that could speak into that, that I could be vulnerable with, that they could,

you know, confess things to an independent with. For me, that was the biggest. There's obviously so many practical things. I kind of what I said. But I think if you surrounded with people that want the best for you,

that are going to ask you questions, and that you don't feel the need to hide or to act, or to feel shame, when you do something you shouldn't do.

So I think I always just think accountability is huge.

That's great. I think to one of the biggest lies that the enemy will try to get you with, it's like, oh, if you broke a boundary already, then there's no sense in even setting another one. Like you're just going to break it again,

or it's already been ruined or you're already impure. Whatever, whatever lie that enemy's telling you, but don't keep sinning. Don't stay in that habit of sin. Like you actually can repent, turn from your sin,

confess your sin, be healed of your sin, receive the grace for your sin, not grace in an abusive way of going, well, I mean, we're going to receive the grace, and we're going to get him at a get grace again.

No, like receive grace, so you don't live in shame, but don't keep doing it.

Well, I actually decide, like, okay,

I don't want to do that anymore. Your boundary is set there, not because it's like, some gold would achieve, but it's something that God set forth as like a good design.

“And so I think put that boundary back in place.”

Go, I'm not going to do this, not because it's just something I don't want to do personally for a pride thing, but because it's what God calls me to. And I trust that his plan is better for me than what my flesh is telling me I want to do.

And so go back to the boundary line, go back to what God said or paint of it. And like, Christians say confess to your friends, set up better boundaries in the future, okay, this led us to that.

Let's not get in that situation again. And obviously speaking more towards like couples when it comes to

the boundaries and the foundation and all this.

But there's so many more things. I mean, that's just that stage of your life. You're going to go, like, at this stage in our life, there are things that you set boundaries for with with yourself. That again, like you're going to be a tentabier.

I would tend to be cross, but it's like, how do I set myself up to win? Like for me, I have like a boundary for my mind. Like shows that I watch. Like I don't want to watch shows that lead me to not having peaceful thoughts. And so for me, it's like, okay, well, what if I do watch something that

all of a sudden now I feel anxious or all of a sudden now. Watch something that was like inappropriate or whatever. Well, then I stop watching the show. You know, it's like, oh, well, I'm only on episode two. There's no see, I don't care.

Like stop watching the show. Like don't keep doing it. Don't keep sending it. And I think so often. Like we just let ourselves kind of live in that like victim mentality.

Like, oh, what happened? Oh, well, so I'll just keep going. Like, no. Gorge your heart for it is the well-spring of life. Like, fight on behalf of your mind.

When the battlefield of the mind fight for your purity. Don't just let it happen. Yeah, well, we see Jesus model that right. You have the woman that's caught in adultery. And, you know, the Pharisees are trying to stone her.

And Jesus rebukes that. So he liberates the woman. He calls her out. He calls her in a freedom. Then he also says go and send them more.

So there is. He sending. So there's freedom. And there's redemption. But then again, there's also.

Don't do it again. Transformative action that is required by the gospel. Um, so that is the beautiful thing. It's, yes, there's not a boundary path that there's, well, we pretty pass it. Let's, you know, let's keep doing it.

There's, there is repentance. There is confession and in that there's redemption and healing. And then the outcome from that is to not keep doing it to stop doing it. On that note, I saw a question coming up. So I jumped to it.

“How do I hold my friends accountable without coming across as rude or unloving?”

It's good, I think. I think oftentimes I think things get labeled as rude because the person's just defensive. So I think sometimes we, we like don't want to come across confrontation. No, confrontation. Not because we're being confrontation of it because the other person's going to perceive it that way.

So you end up not doing anything. So for me, I would maybe rather come across as to the person, you know, harsh or unloving versus not saying anything at all.

It's their responsibility for their response.

There can be defensive and, you know, label you as something and project onto you. This thing that's not true, you're, you're not responsible for their reaction. But I think there is a delicate way to go about it in a graceful way, not one invoking shame, not being hypocritical by you speaking out against something that you're actively living in. So I think there's a way, I think it's a delicate balance to do it, obviously doing it in love. But at the end of the day, I think we are called to call out things, you know, the people.

And if, if they feel a certain way about you doing that, I don't think you can control that. I think that's true, but I, and I also think, because you're speaking from a guy's perspective in guys tend to receive that a little bit better at times. Like I feel like there's just that kind of mill strength and like competitiveness, like y'all go add a little reference for it. So maybe you can go add a little reference even in tone sometimes.

Whereas with girls, it can be hard sometimes because you're like, so worried this is going to be awkward or this is going to hurt their feelings.

Or they're going to cry.

“But I think ultimately, like, how do you do it and not become like not sound unloving?”

Is that if you're really doing it from a place of love, then they should feel loved even though you're speaking some hard truth. And so a lot of it is going to come from like, okay, is my heart really in why I'm saying this really from a place of because I genuinely love them so much. And I do not want to see this sin or this thing hurting them. And so I think when it comes from love, it will be laced in love naturally. But also go above and beyond to be loving.

Like that doesn't mean that you hold back truth. Like Jesus was literally the embodiment of love. But he was also like the embodiment of truth. And he was somehow like fully graceful and fully true filled. And so Jesus did it so well.

So something I've learned is that hydration is way more important than most of us realize.

“It's not just for athletes or people working out all the time.”

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I oftentimes overlook the fact that I need it. It my husband's like have you had a electrolyte today. And every time he makes me any kind of element drink, I am like, wow, that helped me so much. I love the watermelon one. I love the raspberry one.

But they also just launched something new that is so awesome.

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Like, you know, you might show up somewhere, and people are like, oh, I bet they're going to be like this. You know, it's like a judgmental mind to the people we're going to have. And it's like okay. We can see a notion. That's what I'm going for.

Like people will have like a preconceived notion of you before you show up somewhere. And especially when you live your life like publicly, like everybody probably has a preconceived notion of who I might be that follows me on Instagram because you've seen me from afar. You're like, oh, well, she's done this or that, so she's probably like this.

But I always say like, because that can be crippling sometimes because you're like, oh, well, they're just going to think that's where there's going to think that.

It's like, okay, I don't need to worry about like when man thinks like God looks at my heart and when I show up like shock them with your kindness. Shock them with your grace, shock them with your humility, whatever that is. And Jesus really did that because here here he comes, he's got in flesh. He's this messian at King that was promised to these people, but he came like completely in an unexpected way. They were expecting someone powerful and he came so humble.

Like they were expecting someone riding on a horse and he came on a donkey. And he just kept showing up in such a way where it was like not really what they were expecting. But you can't help but like see his heart.

So when that person speaks into my life, she's going to be judgmental, she's going to be whatever.

But when you go to them and you say, hey, friend, I just want to say like, I've been seeing you rustle with this and it breaks my heart that you're struggling in that way because I've been through that too. And when I went through that, this is what it led me to in my life. And I just want to encourage you that there's so much better for you. And this is how I walk through it. I just want to let you know, I'm here for you in that.

If you ever need prayer, if you've been in a friend. And so it's like, you shock them with your grace.

You shock them with your empathy, with your compassion.

They're met with so much love. But also you called out the sin and you were truthful. And you didn't sugarcoat that's not a healthy way to live your life. And so I think coming in in a way that like they can't deny your love for them. Because you laced it so much with love, but also like don't sugarcoat or high from the truth.

And then also there is something to be said that again, even if you do it perfectly, even if you go with all grace and with all love and with all the kindness in the world. People sometimes like Christians that are going to be on the defense and they're going to be mad about it and they're going to be mad about her.

“I'm saying that from experience. Oh yeah, that's what that's what I'm speaking to now.”

I'm saying obviously you are going to like obviously your like tone is everything like you are to speak the truth and love. You are to have a tone that's mild and appropriate and this not harsh. But then again, it is if the person doesn't have ears to hear it, then it doesn't matter. I mean, there's times that our marriage where you might call somebody out of me and it might be harsh.

Or your tone will be harsh in it and I'm defensive, but there's always also been times where you've called something out and just been the most gentle loving

Compassionate way and I'm still it still irritates me because it's it's me being defensive about something. So it's but that does not mean you shouldn't do it. Yeah, like you did it the right way, but it's also if I don't have ears to hear it, if I'm going to be defensive. Oh, totally. It doesn't matter how it's you both scenarios because I've had scenarios like add a scenario yesterday where I was worried to say something that was where it was going to come across like. You know that I'm speaking into something that that person's walking through that maybe I shouldn't speak into, but also I'm seeing it so I got to say something.

But I came at it with like so much love and the person was like while I thank you so much. I and she was surprised by like and you heard it because it was a response like how much grace I met her with, but also like calling out something that other people are seeing and not saying. And so like I was using that as an example because sometimes like it's one thing to say like, Oh, well, you can't really care about how they receive it. And yes, that is true. That is true. Sometimes people are going to receive it well, even if you did it perfectly, but tone is everything and with guys, that's why I was just saying sometimes you can be like, you know, JPCD like do people who can be honest with you.

“And you're like, I think so and he's like, you smack bro like you, you got to stop smacking like that's funny, but like a girl when I was eating too loud.”

I know that's I'm saying like he was he cut, but that was like a bro moment like as a girl, you can't just be like, you smack like you got to be like, like kind of lighter about it. And on the flip side too, I do see a lot on social media. I think people people do like confrontation and I think that sometimes people do speak in a situation so they shouldn't speak into. Oh, for sure. Well, I'm going to say any disagree with me.

I know. I'm just saying for sure. I'm just saying it's like, sometimes people feel the need out of this like form of righteousness to speak into this to rebuke that to help correct this. And it's like you don't you don't have this person that has to speak into anything. I don't have to speak into every and every. There aren't you don't need 30 hills that you're going to want that you're willing to die on.

“You need to speak to me. It's like if you're walking through life or someone they're your friend and they're going through something that everybody else is talking about our noticing and no one saying it. That's wrong.”

Like someone needs to say it and you don't need to talk to anybody else about it. You need to talk to that person about it. And you need to come at it not from a place that I can't believe you're doing this, but I'm so sorry you're going through that. It breaks my heart to see making those decisions because I get it. I've been there. I've done similar things and let me just tell you, friend, it didn't end well. You know what I mean? That's more around speaking to and I'll see you as you know, like, trust that the Holy Spirit speaking to. So pray about it.

Like you don't have to be the one to say it. Let the Holy Spirit say there's another situation in my life right now. I'm walking or watching. And I feel strongly I'm not the person that supposed to speak into it.

You know, since I get time to plug your new book. No, we can't announce it, yes. I mean, people know already, but we can't talk about the title. Oh, shoot. This, but this was a perfect time to plug it. I know, it was. It was. We'll save it. Anyways, because what I was going to say was, yeah.

“That's it, buddy. Okay. What is your best dating advice for someone who has high standards?”

Now, I wanted to say this, and I wanted to ask you this, because you are there. You are picky and dating. You literally said to me like, you, I think we've told us in the podcast for a while, but you didn't like, like, sometimes there just be girls voices that you're like, I don't like. Yeah, I said it to say, like, hey, that's real. Some people have high standards, and some people are, like, particular about things.

And that's not always a bad thing, but it can be a crippling thing, and you might be the guy to talk to.

Yes. Why does Tim, you know, you were a lot more a mellow. I didn't, you know, I'm not trying to listen to this. Are probably not thinking I'm a mellow person. No, why does Tim love that? I just kind of bothered me. But if you do spit like that, it's awesome. You just weren't the person for me.

And that's okay, because I'm happily married. Sorry. Well, it's a question that good high standards. Yeah, well, I also just was not a good person before I met Christ, whether it was relationally or in the aspects of my life. But high standards, yes, no, you were just somebody that I actually enjoyed, like,

like, talking to relationally. And I feel like we had a lot in common, even though circumstances, our lives looked completely different. And that was intriguing to me.

And I feel like, you know, I always, when I really started following Christ,

it was this idea about running this race and not feeling like the other person. You know, it was this analogy of if you're running a mile, like you're trying to keep, you're trying to run the same pace. If I'm running a six minute mile and you're, you're lagging at like a ten, then we're probably not compatible from the standpoint of, of where we're going.

So I feel like we are running the same speed, even though we were doing completely different things. And yeah, you know, standard wise, I don't know. Basically, I think the fastest muscle. I never like made up of it. It's a ten.

So we're not super compatible when it goes to our actual mile times. Yeah. But we're very compatible with the running the race got us up before us.

But I never like made a list of, like,

but I, I hate. Well, I just, I thought you can kind of speak to that because you are kind of, like you do set standards high for yourself. And sometimes I can come across in other people. I'm the same way. I'm, I set high standards for myself.

And sometimes I'm, like, very hard on myself and can be, like, a perfectionist about certain things.

“And so, you know, I think I did have really high standards in dating.”

That were a lot of times unfair to the person that I was looking for, you know? And so, yes, I think first and foremost, like Christian said, like, it's different before Christ and after Christ. But, like, once you become, you know, a Sean believer in Christ and you realize, like, the goal of marriage would be like to glorify God.

And to do what the Lord has called us to, to become one flesh and to, you know, be fruitful and multiply and do this life together. Like, we can do this, like, better together than we can apart. A quarter three shreds is not easily broken, two or better than one. Like, if we're going with, like, a biblical point of view on marriage.

Like, this is why we're doing this. Then it's not so much about being picky. It's not picky in the sense of, like, oh, you smack or, oh, you do this. Like, I don't have standards like that.

But I do have high standards and the things that matter. Like, I wanted someone who felt like heavy convictions and things, who did want to live a life set apart from the world, who isn't, like, comparing the way you live to everybody else. But, like, looking at God and being like, what do you have from me, Lord?

“And so, I think you can set your standards high and you should”

and the things that matter. But so many people set their standards high on things that just don't matter, you know? It's like, it doesn't really matter that much. If it's Juan Herr or Brown Herr, if they're taller,

if they're shorter, if they smagger, if they don't smagger, those things just don't matter and those things change, you know? But the things that do matter certainly set you up well. (upbeat music) Have you ever thought about how easy this

to move through Easter season without actually slowing down and remembering what it truly means? I get it, we're busy, they're travel, family, church plans,

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plus being a visual learner and so getting to see it for this perspective is so so cool. So let's step into the story of this Easter and a deeper way this year. Order if the tree could speak by Tim Teebo on Amazon

or check out the link in the show notes today. That's if the tree could speak by Tim Teebo available now on Amazon. The highest standard for me, it's an authenticity, if you are truly authentic. If you're the same person that you say you are,

then you should live that way. I was getting lunch with a friend a couple weeks ago and he was dating this girl and went to another school. And she, I don't know what she looks like, but I'm sure she's super pretty, she's in a sorority.

All these other things, but their relationship would come with but heads because she would, he's really following the Lord. I think she was kind of wishy, washy on it. And she would,

this is not like super expensive. Like she would go to these sorority parties, but as she went, her phone would be dead.

“So she would like a labor fund or a house”

and my buddy would never know where the wish was doing.

But it's different than what, when they're together, it's spiritual. But then when it's a part, it's a little more worldly. So I'm saying that from the authenticity of like, if you're not practicing what you're preaching,

I don't care how pretty the person is, you get along. If those core things on just being authentic aren't real, then your relationship's not going to be slightly strong. And so for me with you,

you had to trust me having a crazier background. This is the way I'm living now. I'm still in college. I still have friends that are fraternities. Like we still go out and do things,

but I'm not super rampantious. I'm not going to the party scene anymore. I'm not doing all those things. And for you, you had to get to a point where you weren't constantly checking my location.

And just being in this negative headspace of, what's he going to resort back to what he did? Be it a trust me that, hey, this is where I'm at now. I'm not here anymore. I need you to trust me in that.

I'm being genuine and authentic. And I have accountability people that are going to hold me accountable. But if you don't have that, then yeah, you are going to be in that negative headspace. Yeah, it's good.

So for me, it's just if the person's authentic in genuine, that surpasses any level of beauty or physical attraction. Obviously, those things are important. But for me, authenticity is going to, it's going to last.

Yeah, the standards have to be high when it comes to authenticity. When it comes to honesty and integrity, godliness. Those are the things you want your standards to be high. And because those things really matter.

“And I think sometimes people can get manipulative with people who do set centers high”

because they're, oh, you're just being too harsh. You're being too hard on me. You shouldn't care that much or nobody's like this. And I think you got to be careful with people who are speaking that because a lot of those people are speaking that out of fear,

knowing that like they aren't don't want to become that person. And so it's like then you shouldn't even expect that of me. And if you're in a dating relationship, I would encourage you.

You might not be at the same space yet, but I mean, first,

ask yourself, am I being too hard? But if it's like, I expect you to be honest with me, that's not too hard. If it's like, I want you to not have your phone dead. Every time you're at a hearty, that's not too hard.

Like, you're setting centers that are practical and I set you up for like a healthy marriage. That's not too harsh. But if you're like, I don't want you to do like, just basic things.

Yeah, like, that don't be like, you know, too pick your two particular. But those things are worth fighting for. And if they're not willing to meet you with that, if you're dating and to break up, if you're married, I would say pray.

Go to counseling, seek counsel. But mainly just pray. And ask that guy, would align your standards to one another that he would give you both the same conviction that he would really align your hearts

and that and open the door for conversations. Because we've had things like that in our marriage,

or you feel strong about something that I don't.

And God has really brought our hearts together and respecting one another and trusting one another. Yeah, that's good. And I feel like the authenticity part two it goes beyond just external things that you can see.

But it's internal things too. It's like if you have this hidden sin problem, eventually it's going to get exposed. So if you're not authentic up front, then eventually it's going to come back and bite you in the butt.

And this was to you, Christian Christian, how do you encourage Sadie and the faith and how does she encourage you? Great question. How do I feel like I encourage you? I feel like I encourage you, maybe I'm like the studying,

aspect of faith. And like, I feel like the way my brain works, it might encourage you to try to learn more about the story or see how it connects to something here. You're very interested in the exaggeration.

Are you referring to that conversation we had? I'm not referring to it specifically. I don't know. That you're talking about that conversation recently about and this was kind of funny.

Christian thought something was really cool and scripture and he shared it with me. And I was like, okay, like, what is that? What does that do for you? Like, what is that?

And he took that other wrong way as if I was saying it's not cool. But I was like, no, I'm not saying that's not cool that is cool, but I just was wondering, what does knowing that teach you about the characteristic of God? Because we have talked about the Bible all the time

and something was said about to me. I said, I'm going to stick out to him. And we're like teaching each other like what we're learning through that and this particular thing that he thought was really cool. I wasn't really understanding how that can, like,

what was so cool about that. And I didn't mean it. And like, that's not cool. I meant like, teach me like, tell me. And it's really cool for us to like get super excited

about stories and share. So, I do think that you do encourage me in that, but I would say if I can share what I can do. I'd like to encourage you more and then even that

“is that I, like, Christian knows what I struggle with, right?”

And so, Christian will see me struggling with an aspect in my life or something.

And like, he always is so quick to like speak truth over it.

And be like, hey, I see you going down this trail. Stop. Like, God is for you. God is good. He is proud of you here.

Like, and he starts speaking truth to the lie. He probably knows I'm already believing. Which is so great. And I'm sure so many moms and women can relate to this. Like, maybe I'll feel like, oh, like,

I didn't do a great job today with the kids. Or I dropped the ball here or I dropped the ball there. And so all the sudden, I feel like a failure. You know, so many might, can relate to that. And Christian will see me going down the spiral

and like, stop the spiral and get me back to truth. Get me back to who God's called me to be. And that's super helpful. So I feel like you encourage me a lot with that. You also encourage me a lot in ministry like when it comes to messages

that I'm about to preach. You walk that out really well with me because I'll get nervous about things. Or I'll get in my head after I preach or whatever it is.

And like, you're always there to be an accountability partner to me.

And it encouraged me and I'm very thankful for that. That's very sweet. Thanks. I feel like for you, for me, for you, encouraged me and just like simple faith aspects of just, you know,

“it's like, that's what the Bible says. I believe it.”

And not that I ever like doubt anything I believe, but I feel like the way my brain works, I can, like, you know, it's like the, I believe it, how my unbelief feel like, sometimes I can struggle with that. And you, you don't really doubt and waiver things like that.

You're always pretty strong and stiff as on the things. Thank you. That's really sweet. I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what is, what if I fail, what if it isn't where I need to be. And looking back, I can see so clearly that God had his hand in the whole thing.

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“Okay, how do I get interested in reading the Bible?”

Well, for me, it kind of goes to what I just said. I think the Bible becomes super interesting when you realize that it's a whole story. But if there's so many cross references and there are so many things that tie into the scripture, it's unlike any book ever written. So for me, the thing that makes the Bible so interesting, it's not like you're just reading

and ongoing story, it's like you'll read something in the New Testament. And then somehow that connects to something in the Old Testament. Or there's a word in this book that relates to this book. Or there's a prophecy 1500 years later that's revealed when Jesus comes. And I think if you don't read the Bible through that lens of how it all connects to each other,

then I think it's not as fascinating. And there are a ton of resources for people that can see that. I think one thing too, I'm a visual learner.

So when I first started really reading the Bible, I love the Bible project.

It's like this clip art. These two guys that are geniuses, and I can look it up on YouTube, they also have an app. But they just break down scripture really, really, really concisely. And they do it through these little kind of clip art graphics. I don't even have clip arts the right word, but like sketches, sketches.

And it shows you kind of like a visual of what's happening in the scripture.

“And I think they articulate it really well.”

But for me, the Bible becomes most interesting when you can read something. And you realize that it connects to this other point here. That it all connects. Yeah, I think the Bible project is a great way to get interested. To like studying a part of the Bible and then kind of obsessing over it.

In other words, you could like binge it. You know, that's very on trend. It's like if you start a show that you let, like you binge watch it. You become obsessed with it. For me, you might watch a movie.

This is not what I do. I watch a movie. And then after I watch a movie, I want to know everything about the real story of the movie. It's a true story. What are the real people look like?

What did they act like? How did this happen? Go and watch all the interviews.

“Or it's like, even if it's not a true story.”

I'm like, what about the actors? What's she up to? I'm going to go watch the interviews that she did before the movie. And I just want to like learn everything I can about that movie and that situation. How it was made and what the actors and actresses are doing in their life.

And that's how I get with the Bible. Where it's like I studied John 4 the woman at the well. Then I'm like, I want to know everything about the woman at the well. And then as I'm studying the woman at the well, I'm reading about like Jacob's well. Okay, that's Jacob from the Bible who had Joseph and you know he was, you know, just connect to everything.

And so then you learned about that. Then I get on the Genesis kick and learning about the story of Jacob and then Joseph and then that's a kick. And it's like just getting so into the story and the nitty gritty of it. And then also like right now I'm reading through the Bible recap. And which shout out to everybody who heard me say I'm doing that for my New Year's resolution.

Still in it. Still up to date. And you had some catching up to do that. I did. You're up to date now.

I'm out to date now. There's grace for the journey. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just. It's been read. But it's sure I did get behind that cover come.

But um, like, you know, whenever we were in the Vitticus and numbers, I was like, okay, this is a little hard. A little stretching because you're literally reading like page after page about like skin infections. I'm like, okay. Let's go back to the New Testament. Actually, what's been really cool is as I was reading it.

I didn't really think I was learning anything at the time. And then all the sun and I'd be like, wow, God, like, you are so good. I see your hand and that's like, you're such a good father. You're provision for the way that you were talking about calling people out. Not really rude and unloving.

But like, he just would call these people out because he wanted a better life for them so bad. And they just could not get out of their sin. They could not keep wanting to go back to their old ways. They could not stop idolizing false gods. And he kept pursuing them and kept being gracious to them and kept giving them boundary lines to stay within.

So that they wouldn't keep going down to strike the paths. And so it was just like really cool that as I read and became like disciplined and consistent with something.

Ultimately, it was leading me to a greater revelation of God.

And so I encourage you, like, you might be reading it and be like, how to really get it. Lean in and for me, like doing it with terribly cobble or I will project or anything where you can like go to another resource and learn more. So many commentaries out there, we love enduring word. If you have a mentor, you could call if you have a pastor, you could call and be like, hey, this doesn't really make sense to me. Like, let someone help break it down for you because it doesn't make sense to most people when they read it.

It doesn't make sense to me, I have to like go listen to what terribly cobble had to say or go looking up at the Bible project. And so like keep learning be a student of the word.

Well, why did it? How did this connect? Like, you know, and it's so cool when the Lord starts revealing stuff to you.

And on that note, someone said, how do you slow down and reset? And I wanted to bring this up because I want to talk about Sabbath because this is something I've been learning as have been reading the Old Testament. So to be completely honest, Sabbath has not been something that I've ever gotten to into, like super stoked about mainly because, although I know Sabbath is a big deal, obviously, because the Lord said it in motion and on the seventh day God rested.

“And literally when you're reading the Old Testament, when you're going to the Leviticus and all these things, you're going to hear how God was like, you need to take a Sabbath on that seventh day.”

You need to rest. It's also one of the 10 commandments. Like when you think of 10 commandments, like these are the big things. And he's like, remember the Sabbath, like keep it holy. And so obviously, like Sabbath is a big deal.

So when I say I never been too into Sabbath, I don't want to say like I'm going to get so word of God, but I'll tell you why.

And was never like thinking too much into it is because when you get to the New Testament, the Pharisees really always so mad at Jesus because Jesus was healing on the Sabbath. But then he was doing stuff on the Sabbath. And Jesus was like doing these miracles and doing these wonderful things. But they were so religious that they couldn't like accept that he was whatever he was doing because it was the fact that it was on the Sabbath.

“And I think sometimes like people in religious circles, like can be a little bit religious, like spirited when it comes to how we talk about the Sabbath and then what it needs to be or what it needs to look like.”

And I felt like when Jesus came, you know, he didn't come to like keep abolishing. abolish the law, but he did come to like fully fulfill the law. And so it's not that he's saying that get rid of Sabbath, but he also like heat is a lot. He's fulfilling it. And basically Jesus was saying all of those things that you've read in the law, like the infection things. And all of it, like all of that is good, but ultimately it comes down to this. Love the logic out of that art so mind-earned and love your neighbor as yourself.

And so Jesus was like, I'm fulfilling the law in this. And he said, this doesn't mean I'm like dummy down. You know, even when we talk about adultery, he's saying like, I'm actually calling you to a higher standard. Don't even look at a woman lessfully. So he's saying like, it's not just about the law. It's about your heart, you know.

And so when it comes to Sabbath, I always felt like it's kind of about your heart. And then I look at all the disciples.

You know, after Jesus died, they were just going for it. Like Paul, even, I mean not like one of Jesus' disciples. But when Saul became Paul that Paul was like, I'm mission for the gospel. And you just don't see Paul like emphasizing rest.

“You know, he's not like, and then I rested and I was so important and you need to rest, you need to rest, you need to rest.”

You need to Sabbath Sabbath. He was like, go, tell, get it out there. Like to live as Christ to die as gain. Like it was just like, go for it. So I feel like I kind of took on that approach a little bit more. But as I've been re-reading the Old Testament and looking at Sabbath, something that has really stuck out to me is, yes, Sabbath is about rest. And that is important and again, on the seventh day, God rested. But really, what Sabbath was to the Old Testament people and what God was really teaching them was not just about rest, but it was about humility and it was about trust.

He was saying to them, take a day that you don't work and trust that I will provide. Take a day that you don't work and humble yourself to know that I am your provider. And so yes, rest, get the benefit of what it looks like to not work by being revived and being rested. But also humble yourself to a place to know that you don't, you don't do it at all. You're not providing for your life. I'm providing for your life. Not anything you can do in your own strength, but let trust that I can do more with your time of rest and you can do with your time of working.

And that really convicted me because one, I do need to rest and I do need to make more of a weekly habit of that because that is something important and something that God modeled. To, I do think in a culture that is so work, work, work, go, go, go, like do do do do, God is saying like actually I want you to humble yourself and trust me that I can do so much more even when you rest and you can do when you work. And I am your provider, you are not like you don't need to approve anything like let me provide for you.

And so I felt convicted in that and the week we went to the beach we treated as a Sabbath and for me it was kind of coming out of crazy time because I was finishing a lot of work things, but also there's always more that you can do.

But to I don't need to produce anything like I don't need to work or do anything. This is a week of humility saying that like God you work on my behalf so I felt like convicted not to post social media not to let my team like keep doing things even on my behalf like. Just stop and don't produce don't put out don't you know promote myself in any way but like let God just work in my heart and it was so fruitful and so beneficial and for me I don't want to just do that once in a blue moon and a week I need to start doing that weekly and different aspects and so that's what God's teaching me it's been really cool because again.

“I'm going through the Old Testament and it's not like that just like hit me in one sentence but that's what happens when you obsess with the word of God and in other words meditate on the word of God sums one two three says meditate.”

For those who meditate on the law for those who meditate on the word will be like a tree planted by stream of living water and it talks about the fruit when out whether the leaves when I die off it's always get a flourish because it's planted by stream and so.

When you meditate on the word obsess over the word read the word your life produces fruit and it's a beautiful thing to see.

“That concludes all of our questions we're about at a time.”

We're about time too so thanks for sending in your questions it's always so encouraging to see what's on your heart.

Please keep sending questions and let us know what you want to hear from us.

“We always like to hear what's on your heart so keep sending deans into the world that's good high cast page and we would love to answer them.”

And for the person that said, Tevis Kahos, yes, that is me and as I said before, I hope your Monday is about to get a whole lot better and I hope that it did.