The Bluebelle with Blair Braverman

Welcome to your roundabout. I'm Sarah Marshall, and this week we are joined by our wonderful

“survival correspondent, Blair Braverman. Except this time I'm telling her story about what”

happened aboard the blue bell, and why in 11-year-old girl was its sole survivor. It's a survival story, and it's also a true crime story and a story involving suicide. So please listen with care. And now let's go talk to our friend Blair Braverman, and learn about survival in many different senses of the word. Welcome to your roundabout. The podcast where we're surviving, and with me today is Blair

Braverman, noted survivalist, and everyone listening today is surviving things right now,

and we are going to talk about another survival story, and make a beautiful survival perfe. Blair, hello. I love using the term survival perfe with you. It's okay. You'll think of a trauma dessert later. This is actually, this was, have we talked about how I loved the TikTok trend a while ago of trauma candy salad, where it would be like my name's Mandy, and when I was at children's hospital, when I was 18 months old, my dad gambled

away my, all of our savings, and I brought nerds ropes. What would you trauma salad entry be, sir? All right. This is a funny one, but a trauma candy salad, and to be clear, I don't, this is like more funny than anything, so it's a cop out. But when I was 11, my dad got drunk with a guy who ran the Wicker store down the street and died his hair black, and then when he woke me up for school, I thought he was a burglar. Okay, but what kind of candy

did you bring? Oh, and I brought peanut buttering jelly, M&M's. And jelly? Yeah, I got some on discount the other day. They might be on their way out. Have you tried them yet? No, yeah, I ate them all immediately. They were great. My gosh. Okay. My name's Blair, and I was very

alive, and I brought Swedish fish. Incredible. See? And then that's like a great icebreaker

part of the pun, because then people have so many great questions to ask. So any of you, you and I have known each other for this is actually our 10th year of friendship, because

“I think it's very exciting, and we should celebrate by erecting a maple or something probably,”

and you've done many wonderful episodes with us, and like many episodes that are people's absolute favorites and have gotten people through some hard times. And you're in luck, because the hard times keep coming. And so we're going to keep doing shows together. Okay. And Sarah, today Sarah has brought a story to me, and I don't know anything about it. Yeah, I have no idea what she's going to tell me. In fact, I came to this recording session today thinking

we are going to do something completely different. So I'm going to be a surprise to as the listeners are. Yeah, which she'd think would be me being really strategic, but it wasn't. I just forgot to text her. Okay. And so I think the clues I gave you when we talked about this last is that this one is a survival at sea story, much like your last episode with us, The Oralin. Okay. And that it involves an 11-year-old girl. Yes. Oh, this is going to be hard for me. Okay. Oh, tell me why hard.

I mean, I can imagine. Just since having kids, I know. Any sort of like kid suffering or in pain, or like wanting to get to their mom, but being able to, like I cannot handle those stories. And I remember what I was a kid. My mom couldn't handle shows where kids got hurt. And I was like, I'm a kid and I can't handle it. Why are you? Why are you so weak? I did that exact thing. Yeah.

“But now I'm completely the same way. So I'm braced and I'm ready. I love it. I think that is like a very”

important thing as a child to be able to feel like all these adulthood drips. You know, because that confidence, I'm sure helps a lot. But I will say that like this is a story about a child surviving a lot of different things and growing up into a woman who survives a lot of different things and doing so with a lot of grace. And that my joy at this story involving a twin girl is about just the fact that I love adolescent girls. And I think that they're capable of anything.

And we're inevitably going to talk about that. I think a lot of survival stories are about luck.

Yeah, it would be hard. I'm sure. I mean, what would be one that wouldn't involve luck theoretically at that possible? I guess that kind of a philosophical thought.

“I don't think that's possible. I think everything in our life is defied by luck to a large”

degree. Like, there isn't anyone who's gotten out of anything without luck. A real man makes his own luck. Billy is a Titanic. Yeah, yeah, jump in. I'm worried. I'm worried. Let's go for it. Yeah, we're going to go for it. And I am going to do this to try and have a bare minimum of moms crying happening is my goal. Okay. But, you know, I'll be your test subject.

There might be some inevitable tears. Okay. So, we are starting off with a family that lives in

Green Bay, Wisconsin. The parents are a thorn gene. Yes. A tween girl. And she's from Green Bay. A town where you and I spent many, very happy hours, especially at the target. And the eat all you want. Wait, what is it? All you can eat sushi, but say eat all you want. It feels like a very Green Bay way to put it. I feel like, you know, you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable,

“because, you know, seriously, lay off. Okay. We love Green Bay. People from Green Bay are”

competent. So, I'm already getting a sense of that. Yeah. People are exactly. And so, in November of 1961, we have Arthur and Jean DuPurral, whose name, I'm sorry if I'm saying wrong in any way,

Arthur is a world where two that and he fell in love with the sea during the war and one of his

dreams is to get back there. And one day to live on a sailboat with his family for a year. And they have three children. So, there's Brian, who's 14. There's Terry Joe, who's 11. And there's Renee, who's four. And Arthur is an optometrist in Green Bay. And also, I'm taking almost all of the information that we're talking about today from a book called Alone, orphaned on the ocean, which is by Richard Logan and Terry DuPurral Fastbender. So, it's done with the authorization of Terry.

And also, after surviving this experience, Terry, she had been Terry Joe, T-E-R-R-Y, space, J-O, and afterwards, she changed her name to it's still Terry. But this spelling is T-E-R-E. And I find that very sad because there was something that she had to maybe distance herself from or feel reborn from. And also, it's really funny and cute that she was like, "My name isn't Terry anymore. My name is Terry." Because you don't want to lose everything. You know, you got it.

Because it's like, you just give it a refresh. Change the spelling. T-E-R-E seems like a very beautiful spelling to me, though. So, I'm here for it. Although, at some point, someone is going to call you, "Hey, Tia, Tia, come over here." My aunt is named Terry Lee, and she also changed the spelling of her name. That's an adult. Hmm. Fun fact. So, I've already thinking of somebody in my family. If you're a Terry, and you want to stay a Terry, but maybe, you know, got a little distance,

like, yeah, that's an option. So, yeah, this is the book that I read to prepare for this episode, and we're also going to look at a news article or two. But this is done with Terry Joe, now Terry's authorization and through extensive interviews with her. And so, for what we know from this, the family life was really like pretty idyllic. And, you know, they weren't worried about money. There just aren't a lot of rough edges that come up in this telling of it. And another thing

about Terry Joe that I felt might possibly resonate with you is that she loved being outdoors as a kid and something that she did a lot growing up was pretending to be Tarzan. Based on the old Johnny Weisspieler movies, and we just spent a lot of time outdoors just on her own doing her doing her Tarzan thing. Excellent green day childhood. Yeah, green day childhood playing Tarzan. Which I also, I like being alone as a kid too, and there's something about that, especially if you

have access to nature in your parents like you roam, that like you kind of learn how to be observant in a way. Which I'm sure also, I mean, I don't really know what it's like to be. A young kid growing up in a city because there's a lot of tubes there. But you're able to observe maybe nature in a more direct way in a way that could serve you in later situations. So in November of 1961, the family goes down to Florida because Arthur's ideas that they're going to

charter about for like a little excursion they're going to go to the Bahamas. His yeah,

“like a fun little trip as a family and the idea which is very smart and which I think more”

more people who have big ideas and wanted these days live out of an RV or something could kind

and then maybe we can think about committing to it in a bigger way. And so they charter about

“called the Blue Bell, whose skipper is named Julian Harvey and he's also a world where two that he was”

a test pilot and he has just a handsome face which is often an ominous sign in a man because it means he's been able to get away with two my actions. That's the case with Julian Harvey. Why? Okay. Sorry if you're handsome and you're listening. I'm sure you're a great person, but you you understand. And if you're not handsome we trust you more. That's true. Yeah. And now let me get some let me get some Blue Bell specs up here because I don't want to leave the boat enthusiast

hanging. Okay. So here's an excerpt from alone. The Blue Bell was a catch. A two-masted sailboat with a 60-foot tall main mast toward the bow and a shorter 45-foot mizzon mast toward the stern. A racially built as a racing yacht the boat was long, low, and narrow. The combination of it's simple linear design. It's low, profile, and white color made it elegant and sleek. The

“boat was 60 feet long overall or about 45 feet at the waterline and 15 feet wide at its broadest”

point. In front of the 11-foot long cockpit was the 21-foot long cabin roof covering most of the interior of the boat and rising two feet above the deck. Normally the ships white wooden dinghy and black rubber life raft were stowed along the left side of the cabin roof. And a white five-band quirk life float was lashed to the right forward cabin roof. On either side of the cabin were walkways that were not quite too feet wide and were bordered at the deck edge by stensions that

held a cable safety line about 30 inches above the deck. The longest area inside the boat was the 13-foot long main cabin and then we have additional rooms. There's a smaller sleeping cabin underneath the cockpit. So I guess kind of a fairly substantial living space. It seems like. So that's kind of what the boat is like. And Julien Harvey also brings along his wife Mary Dean and she's cooking meals for the family and it seems according to Terrijo's memory of it and also people who encounter them

along the way that everybody's having a great time. Something that the family doesn't know about him is that he was actually hired for a position that he's not quite qualified for. He's just missing him or whatever the right now is exactly. He's too handsome. And B that he has been married quite a few times and that a handful of years ago he was driving with his wife and his mother-in-law and suddenly the car somehow ended up in a ditch and his wife and mother-in-law died

and he collected insurance money. And then later on with another wife he had a boat and the boat

mysteriously sank and he collected more insurance money. And so basically he's practicing

elements of a larger crime. He's doing insurance fraud and he's escalating the size of the thing he's willing to destroy and perhaps the number of people with it. Oh wait, sorry. Are you saying that sinking a boat is worse than killing his wife than mother-in-law? No, I'm thinking of going from cart to boat but if those ambiguity there for you then yeah let's not freak people out. Okay, I did it think you thought that I mean I want to like I hear this and I want to give the guy the

benefit of the doubt. I mean people, souls are infinitely valuable but then there's boats. I mean do we know that he crashed it on purpose? Like this could be a horrible tragedy at crashing a car that he's in he didn't know he was gonna live. Right yeah. I mean I'm trying to

sort of it's a very good point. I first thought when I hear that is not necessarily that

“he tried to kill them. Right, although I feel like that's what you're setting up. Well and there is,”

I mean I get but at this point there is enough ambiguity in those events that it's like well what what an unlucky guy who keeps getting insurance money. But if you're if you're ever mind that a pattern is emerging which if you have 2020 hindsight you can see. Then he's also his most recent wife Mary when they met he gave for the impression and this feels like a very common story in human history that he was doing so well and had lots of money and then they got married and he was like psyched.

I am in so much debt. You wouldn't even believe how much debt I'm in. Shocking how that happens. And he's learned that insurance money will come through for him. So even if he's just been through some very unfortunate accidents in the past he's in a position of knowing that he can get perhaps a good insurance payout on a boat because for whatever reason he's gotten it before and needing that at the moment. Okay, I'm worried and worried. It's a little worrying. And so

on Saturday and November 11th they go to Gordiki which is and I'm quoting from the book again

harbor. Off the island, the blue bell party was observed trolling for game fish. The catch moving

“steadily under power. And Dr. Du Perl goes on shore and he gets to talking to a local fisherman”

Jimmy Wells and Jimmy ends up coming on board for dinner and later on he's telling the family about the jungle that's on shore where there's wild boars and there's feral horses that are

descended from the domesticated ones that escaped. It sounds incredible. I mean, I a pair from all

the red flags and the fact that we know something terrible is going to happen, I want to go on this trip. Yeah, exactly. Like you're going to little deserted islands with wild horses and seeing sharks and fish. Okay, I want to do it. Exactly. Yeah, I mean it sounds like just a really lovely trip and I should say also that like everybody in this family really they're pretty outdoorsy as you can kind of see from their choice of leisure they like fishing. Terry Jo also enjoys water skiing

when she's growing up. They enjoy sailing. They haven't really done anything on the ocean as a family but you know, there's a lot of water around Green Bay is the name sort of gives away. And growing up on a great lake is not that different from growing up on a notion as Blair you can you can testify to. I can testify sort of to that. I have lived along the great likes for for quite a while. That's true. Yeah, you didn't you didn't grow up on one. I didn't I like the ocean but I

I have no experience but I do want to say also the water ski teams around Green Bay are iconic. Yeah, same worry about that. They are multi-generational. So you have like little kids you have people who are in their 50s and 60s. They like stay on the same team for their entire life.

And they just have these amazing costumes and do these amazing shows and every lake

traditionally had their own team. So Terry Jo would have been an icon. I can already picture it. Yeah, yeah and also the water is a place where she feels comfortable and where she has a lot of

“happy memories. And I think that's going to maybe serve her really well too. And so yeah what”

Jimmy says, you know he's visiting. He stays for dinner and Mary Dean Harvey makes chicken cactiatory and salad. And he says it was a happy ship and everyone was nice and having a wonderful time. So then the ship goes back out on the water and then we're going to skip ahead to the next day when there's a tanker called the Gulf Lion and they see Julie and Harvey in the dinghy, which is the emergency life boat that was on the blue bell and the dinghy is towing the

life raft and they pick up Julie and Harvey and he says the ship sank and I tried to save them but based on the story he tells it seems like he did not try super hard. So he's saying that both parents all three kids and his wife whatever number wife are all gone with the ship. Yes, yeah and he also and this is one of the saddest details in this. He has the body of the youngest child in the dinghy with him. Oh my god. Oh yeah, I thought he would. He would have just like

dumped them on an island. So what? Oh my god. Yeah, I don't. I don't. And it's there's kind of different ways that, you know, people have put the story together over time. Yeah. Yeah. I hope they arrested him on the spot. Well, I don't know. I see what you mean about pattern recognition. This guy is trash. Well, but that's the thing, right? Is that it's how do you kind of spot something

“before it escalates to that point? And that is the thing that I think we as a society have to put”

maybe a lot more resources into recognizing patterns and showing people how to recognize patterns to the extent possible. I don't know, but no, he, um, so the tanker calls the Coast Guard the Coast Guard picks him up. He's acting like a little bit weird under the circumstances. And I know and I'm also often the first person to say that like, if you've just been through a giant tragedy, then like, you're kind of bound to be acting weird. But they're like, they're specific weird things

that do feel again kind of like of a pattern with potential guilt. And one of them that I've seen in other stories and that becomes funny in a macaque way when you've been thinking about something sad for a really long time. Is it like, wow, do you think that anyone could possibly have survived? And he's like, no. And how he's not thinking of how a normal person would be like,

gosh, I hope so. I really, it would be amazing if someone lived. He's like, no, they for sure. No,

I wouldn't worry about it. Probably shouldn't like for them. But also he lived so apparently

don't even worry about it. And that's a little bit worrying. I'm thinking specifically, there's a case in Colorado about coming up on 10 years ago this man named Chris Watts killed his family.

And I have just felt a lot of time thinking about it and have never felt less confused

than when I started thinking about it. And there's something comforting about not understanding what it is in someone's brain that allows them to do that type of thing. But there's these absurd TV interviews with him where he's just like, yeah, I'm worried. I miss them. Normally they'd be here and they're not. And you're like, hmm, yeah, you do seem very upset. I mean, you never want to judge someone for how they respond in the wake of a tragedy. It's not the kind of thing we can predict

exactly. Right. Right. And we have to have humility about it. But and then it's like, and in that

“case, I think also of kind of his, his and his wife friends being like, should we drive around?”

Should we look for her? What should what should we do? Should we be calling hospitals? And he's like, no, it's fine. Yeah. I mean, at the very least, with the ship that sinks to be like, they'll look for the bodies, even if he doesn't think someone's survived. Right. Exactly. And he's just kind of like, not feeling super curious about it. And so the Coast Guard picks him up and they're kind of like, okay, some things are starting to feel a little bit weird. But look, we're going to

question him. We're going to get the full story. And so there's a Coast Guard in quest. And so there's actually, you know, a very good record of him being questioned and telling his story of the boat sinking.

And it's kind of an amazing story. And you feel like he could have come up with a better one and then

the more I kind of learned about how this all probably transpired or how it there's a good chance

“to transpired. It makes sense that he didn't come up with something better, which is he says,”

well, you know, we were sailing and then it was windy and then the mizz and mask is simply fell down out of nowhere. And I don't know anything about boats, but I do know that like having a structural element of an otherwise sound and, you know, street legal see where they whatever vehicle of some kind of saying that it just simply suddenly stopped doing its one job for kind of no reason. I don't know, it's not super convincing. And the Coast Guard feels the same way I do about that one.

Okay, so the Coast Guard obviously does know about boats and they're like, no, this does not.

Well, yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, it's really a huge part of what they do. And they're having some concerns, but at the same time there's no one out there to contradict them and there's no one to say that they saw anything happen differently. The boat has also unfortunately just been inspected and is in great shape. So again, it's like it's not convincing. I bet he like hid the boat somewhere. He didn't even want to sink it because he also wanted the money for the boat. Now I'm just

totally speculating. Right. Yeah, that would be very clever. But right. So we don't know. We just have this one man in his story. So he's rescued on the 13th and the ship recorded him sank on the night of the 12th slash the early morning of the 13th. Root of shipwrecks to happen at night as with the Titanic. I feel like that would have been slightly less scary in the daytime. I mean equally lethal, but I don't know. And I'm scared of the dark. Yeah, dark water is even scarier than non-dark water.

Exactly. And non-dark water is still pretty scary. So you know. So yeah, so this is the night of Sunday, November 12th is the last time anybody sees the ship aside from the party that is sailing it. It sinks some time overnight, according to Julian Harvey. And also, I want to be fun and have suspense,

“but to end your speculation, the ship really did sink. At least that's what all evidence points to.”

So the ship sinks. And then November 13th passes, November 14th passes, November 15th passes. And the coast card is doing its in quest. And on the day of November 16th, three and a half days after the ship has sunk, Julian Harvey is being questioned by the coast guard. And the news reaches him, and he is informed that Terry Joe has been found floating on a cork raft, and has been rescued by a Greek tune about. Oh my god. Okay, the 11 year old,

how does he respond when he finds that out? Also, I have a sled dog next to me, and she's grunting. I mean, that's just a bonus. So that's the on the odds if you hear that. Yeah, that's peppy. She says hi. That's like there's a sled dog grunting my soup. Lower your voice or everyone will want some. Well, it's here for all of us, if you hear that in the background. Okay, Terry Joe, what state is she in? What happened? And how does he respond? All right, let me answer your two

all on the record. Now read you from the book. Oh my god, Harvey said when he heard the news of Terry Joe's miraculous rescue echoing words of surprise, uttered by the others in the room. He pushed his chair back and looked down for a moment. Then he raised his head, looked around, and said, isn't that wonderful? Others nodded, then went back to shaking their heads as they too, processed the extraordinary news. Harvey got up, walked to a window overlooking busy Flagler street.

This is in Miami, by the way. I'm sorry if I said that wrong. And stood there for some second,

staring out. When Harvey turned back from the window, he headed toward the door without a word, seeming preoccupied. And someone says, Captain Harvey, don't you want to remain for the rest of the testimony? You have that privilege. Harvey shook his head smiled briefly nodded to the room and departed. And then within a few minutes, the Coast Guard authorities called Miami Police Department. Because he was acting suspicious. Yeah. And so he goes back to his hotel room and goes into his

bathroom, and basically does not come back out. He dies by suicide. Good fucking riddance. Yeah, I feel like we're in a moment where and hopefully an era that last forever where we're very sensitive about suicide and suicidality, but also, yeah, he did kill an entire family. I feel like we're not being too controversial here. And presumably at least one prior wife. Okay. All right. So he knows that she's going to say something that's going to puncture his story and presumably

all the other stories he's told. Yeah. Yeah. And so he leaves our story as a character in that way. And now we're going to go to Terry Joe because she and I want you to talk a little bit about your knowledge base on this. But she has now survived for about three and a half days without food or water or shelter for that matter. And um, my God. Yeah. What's uh, let's let's talk about that.

“I mean, and she's floating in so water. Yeah. She's okay. So here's the thing too. She's floating”

in saltwatering. She's not unlike a life raft like you would imagine that's like rubberized or

that has a floor. She's in basically a ring of cork that has a net of ropes. The strong on the

underside of it. And the ropes are pretty weathered. And so they keep breaking when she sits on them. So she's on this tiny, unstable rapidly disintegrating, barely a life raft. Oh my God. This is 11 years. So sixth grade, right? 11 is 11 is six grade. Buy herself without her family. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I, the ocean is absolutely not my expertise. My expertise is cold. Hmm. But um, cold, not salt. Cold, not salt. I have only crossed the sea by mushing over the sea. I

is not by spending much time in boats. There you go. That is like a beautiful sentence that you just said. That is a poem. I mean, my understanding, my conception of this is that I mean, salt is going to make everything harder. It eats away at your skin. It eats away at materials. I mean, the fact that she doesn't have anything to protect her from the sun. Just the exposure. Yeah. If the water's cold, even if it's not. I mean, I assume she's in water. Yeah. No, she's, she's in the water.

Her skin is probably in terrible condition. Yeah. I mean, psychologically, I wonder if she was even conscious when they found her, that's not psychology necessarily. Well, but brain related. Yeah. I mean, I'm just thinking like, okay, the amount of shock she must be in. Yeah. And she is, she's like barely conscious when they pick her up. And she's suffering kidney damage. I'll say,

“like she gets treated for immediately at the hospital. Is that because she was drinking salt water?”

I think just from severe dehydration because I don't think she tried to drink salt water at all. Because again, she's like, she's in outdoorsy kidney. I think she, she knows these things. Yeah, and then the body just rejects salt water. It doesn't take much the experiment to learn that. And there's, there's a little bit of rain occasionally. She's able to kind of like,

basically just moisten her lips with that. And there's a little bit of cloud cover. But

right, because she doesn't have any materials like we're not talking about her having like right, cup with her or a knife or anything. She's just, it's just pure like, how long can her body hold on? And I imagine she was at the edge of that limit when they found her. Yeah, because I mean, the thing everybody says and that it doesn't seem like an over-simplification is that three days without water and your dad, basically. Is there anything to mitigate that? Not really. I mean,

conditions affect things. Yeah. You know, if you're a hot or cold temperatures,

“maybe that's why millennials are absolutely obsessed with hydrating because the world is trying to”

kill us and we're like jokes on you. You can't kill me. I drank four quarts of water today.

necessities in terms of immediacy are our water shelter and food. Like you can go the longest

“without food, but that really depends because if you're in an extreme environment, you need shelter”

before you need water. So without knowing the exact conditions, I mean, I just be guessing here, but I am shocked. She's alive. Yeah. Yeah. And everyone else is, too, because she's barely conscious when she's pulled aboard this freighter, the Captain Theo. And she also has seen other freighters passing by because she has ended up in a shipping lane, luckily. But unlikely, she is in a white raft. And she is a pale blonde child. And so she is invisible,

unless you're like basically right on top of her, which is where the Captain Theo ended up. But

like other ships passed her by, you know? Yeah. As we learn from the oral end, right? A shipping lane can be pretty wide and it can be really hard to spot something small in the water and know

“that it's someone who needs rescue. Yeah. So she is rushed to the hospital. She's really dehydrated.”

They said about dealing with that. And she starts bounces back pretty quickly. She's 11. She's healthy. So she's lucky in her body's ability to to be able to recover from that type of thing among other things. And she's also privately at this time worrying about where she's going to live and who will take care of her. This poor kid. Is there a whole family gone? Well, okay. So

yeah, let's talk about when Terry Joe tells her story because once she's recovered for a few days,

she is questioned by the Coast Guard as well. And she tells a very detailed account of what she remembered and what happened on that night. And actually let me send you a picture of her recuperating in the hospital. Okay. And when that comes straight, you can tell me what you see. Oh my gosh. She looks so sweet. Okay. So here's this black and white picture of this little girl with blonde bangs and blonde hair that's like shoulder length. And she's lying in bed and wearing

a white tank top that looks like she's wearing a headband that's pushing her hair back. And it looks like someone who's really brushed her hair and sort of cleaned her up. And she's slightly

creepily holding a doll with the same hairstyle who's exactly the same size as her. And yeah,

the exact, it looks exactly the same, the same color hair and the same hairstyle. Yeah, that's a little bit more haul on drive. It's a little bit, you know, out of context, I would be alarmed by this photo. But I'm an alarmed and you do a place from the context. Stalls got a bad rap, yeah. Well, life size ones. I don't know. Sorry. That's a distraction. No, if their life size, they can come free. But there's actually, there's a story behind the doll, which is that when Terry Joe

and her sister were back home in Green Bay, they had life size dolls. And they brought them on the blue bell and apparently one of the things that she talked about and that they meant from the Captain Theo who rescued her herd about. I'm not sure if it was directly from her was that their dolls had gone down with the ship and so they got her placement doll. Oh my god, I thought you were going to say the doll is going to be on the cork raft with her and I was going to cry. Oh, that would have

been so nice. Oh, no. Now, that's a play. That's our play. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, she's so sweet. She looks so young and she's been, yeah. I imagine more so after after having been on this raft. Yeah. And then there's a caption under it that says Terry Joe said, "Porpuses swim alongside her as she was stranded." Yeah, they did. Yeah. Um, I love her so much. There's something about like the spirit of the eternal 11-year-old girl that like you can survive longer than Dr. is a

“magazine possible alone at sea and then you really want your doll, you know. Oh man, what did she say?”

So at about nine o'clock after dinner, Terry Joe went to bed. She went to the little or sleeping cabin and she goes to sleep by herself. The rest of her family is in different rooms or still up on the deck and her dad is helping the captain to feel like steer the boat as the wrong verb, but you know, do the boat thing. And so she wakes up at some point later in the night. She doesn't know. She's very disoriented and she can hear that there is like some wind and some rough weather,

but she also hears screaming inside the boat and it turns out to be her brother. And so she wakes up. She hears about screaming and then somebody running around and then she doesn't

And she lies there terrified, not knowing what to do. And then after what she thinks is about five

“or ten minutes, she leaves her cabin to try and see what's going on. And she sees her mother and”

brother. And as far as she can tell they're dead, she sees, she's lying there and she sees blood. Holy shit. And later on in her life, she is going to have a hard time with blood and with dark water, but she's also a life-long animal lover. And so she will deal with blood if she's taken care of animals later on in her life. Oh my god. So the ship has gone down or anything. He just he just murdered them. So this is what's hard to understand as kind of like the order of things and some of the motive, right? Because he has

apparently if you know based on interpreting the pattern based on kind of what we see when the pieces come together. He has a this fondness for insurance fraud and killing a wife because of it, but this degree of escalation is curious. And what the author of this book eventually theorizes

“and which is persuasive to me is that his original plan perhaps was to kill his wife in their own”

cabin and basically throw her overboard. And then go spend the night with the family there by

establishing an alibi. And in the morning, be like, oh my god, my wife is missing. She must have drowned mysteriously like women do. Especially when there's an insurance policy taken out with a double indemnity clause in case of accidents. Because they stood to make $40,000. Yeah, it's it's extremely seconding. And so the again what this author theorizes, which I again find persuasive is that this was his plan and then she put up more of a fight than he anticipated

because they were deep scratch marks on his body. Then in the opinion of one witness looked like they could have come from a woman fighting for her life. And so perhaps his wife put up too much of a fight, the family who was still awake, undec inner-veined and having not planned for any of

this, he killed them and then attempted to sink the boat and basically forgot about Terry Joe

or assumed that she would drown if he just left her sleeping downstairs. This monster. You could also theorize that he just planned to kill everyone and sink the boat to begin with. I do kind of

“lean toward the first idea because I think that there are still scales at which people do terrible”

things and that escalating to killing an entire family is, um, I don't know, I guess I have a world view that that maybe that that takes a longer time to escalate to, but is that too optimistic perhaps it's hard to know? Well presumably also anyone alive would have tried to stop him from sinking the ship. Well exactly, right? And so yeah the question also then is like did he just plan to kill his wife and get insurance money from her dying? Which he very easily could have just

done that and then used this family as witnesses and that's kind of the smarter plan. And then there's the insane person plan which is just to kill everyone and then sink the boat and then be found by the Coast Guard. And they both feel possible, you know, people do all sorts of things. And the point is that he seems to have not anticipated Terry Joe seeing him doing any of this or perhaps even waking up perhaps even kind of forgot about her, but she comes out on the deck and he is

basically actively sinking the boat at that time. He's turned on the sea valves which are basically

pumping water into the boat in my understanding and the water is oily. Wait that's a thing boats can do. They just have plugs. They can unplug like the opposite of emptying out of bathtub. I can see two options. Someone's going to be like no, it's much more sophisticated than that or someone's going to be like yeah they have plugs but they call them something else to be not a call about it. There must be a reason for this that we're missing. That's like okay I'm going to we're going to

see if we can determine it in the next 90 seconds. Let's see. See valves. Why? I'm googling. See valves why? See valves or sea cocks naturally. Pardon A and why? I'm reading the Wikipedia page for sea cocks of the adventures we go on. A sea cocks is a valve on the hull of a boat or a ship permitting water to flow into the vessels, such as for cooling an engine or for a salt water faucet or for sinking the ship on purpose and killing everyone. Doesn't say that right? No. But he's so yeah

he is basically flooding the ship with salt water and an attempt to scuddle it and one of the

retreats to her cabin. She sees Julian Harvey in silhouette at the door with what looks like a rifle

to her. He leaves and her cabin starts filling with water with like this oily water which is what drives her back up on deck and back toward the man who's killed her family. And she under it sounds like she understands that he's killed her family. She's not like oh it's an emergency. I have to go to the nearest adult. She understands that this man is someone to hide from. I think so but she also she doesn't kind of she refers to it as an accident after the fact. She doesn't refer

to it as a murder and she doesn't express anger about him until many years later and I don't know

“what to take from that except that that's how she treats it after the fact. But so two crucial things”

and these are two pieces of luck in a way. She doesn't see her father's body and so later on

she's able to hold on to hope that her father is still alive and the water that Julian Harvey is pumping into the ship is oily and it gets on her skin and possibly when she's on the life raft. Predators leave her alone and don't try and nibble on her because she's protected by this little oil slick. I wonder if that also sort of, sorry, dogs, dogs groaning next to me, grunting. That's okay. It's good stuff. That means she's very relaxed. I mean, I wonder if it's sort of helped keep

moisture in her body too. Why not? I'm just guessing about that but I could sort of see that working. Yeah, so I guess this, I mean, and what it ends up being is this like this combination of horrifying events that guests get more and more horrifying and yet at a certain point there's so many horrifying things trying to happen to her once that they kind of cancel each other out in a weird way. You know, or not cancel each other out but mitigate each other in ways that you

wouldn't expect. Yeah. And part of what this book talks about or argues as a possible reason for her

“survival, I think that Aided and her survival is that she's been through this massive emotional trauma”

and shock and that perhaps, and I'm not, you know, this is based on interviews with her, so I'm not sure if this is something that she's theorized about herself or not, because we only hear from her directly in an afterward, which is a great afterward. But the book argues at least that maybe the emotional shock and kind of dissociation may be that she was in allowed her to remain calm about the survival situation she was then in, because she already had maybe a little

bit of a sense of unreality about what she've just been through. Yeah. And maybe that helped her to not panic. I hope so. I hope I hope her brain protected her from that, so she was also facing that incredible grief. Yeah. Well, she was in that situation. Yeah. Well, and then another thing that she

she says is that she never doubted that she would survive. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, that's something

I've heard from people who have survived other extraordinary things like this, but also we don't know how many people never doubted they'd survive and then still didn't make it exactly. Right. A lot of those people are dead and we don't know that that happened because they can't tell us about it on daytime TV because their bodies are in a cave on Mount Everest. So it's, you know, it's it's so many things and it, yeah, that there's, okay, this is such a silly comparison. But in the

extended Titanic soundtrack, there's a shut up. I know, you're giggled. There's a really lovely like fiddle piece called Jack Dawson's Luck, which is based on this idea of like, wow, he's so lucky because he want to take it on Titanic, but he's unlucky because it's saying, but he's lucky because he met Rose, but he's unlucky because he died. Um, and, and I keep thinking of like the

“luck of Terry Joe, you know, where it's like the worst thing you can imagine becomes something that”

helps you through the next worst thing you can imagine. I mean, if you were actually lucky, net of this would have happened to her at all. Exactly. But yeah, the luckiest thing would be to not be there. What she had was like a tiny, tiny break in the extraordinarily terrible luck she was dealing with. Yeah, exactly. And also, you know, there's luck and she also, she keeps a cool head through this and who knows where that comes from or why, but I think spending time alone

pretending to be Tarzan really helps. And she also, you know, she as a kid will go play in the wood and pretend when the wood, oh my god, who am I? And she as a kid will go play in the wood. And she as a kid also would go play in the woods and do kind of pretend survival stuff, you know, yeah. And it's like not to say that that's practice, but like it can't hurt. I mean,

were a foreigner terrifying environment. Right. They were a place that she felt comfortable enough

“that she was doing these things recreationally with the people she loved. Right. Yeah. And that she”

is in a place where she has, you know, not the open ocean, but the water, the time that she spent to this point, like, you know, she's, this experience is being built on a base of what her, what she's experienced and what her family has, has given her in terms of stability and love. And so how did, how did she get from the cabin into the cork raft? Okay. Well, here, let me read you this scene from the book. So she comes up on deck. She says, is the ship sinking and

those wastey water on the deck. And Harvey says, yes, he wrecked quote. And I'm reading now. He

rushed at her again and handed her a line shouting frantically here, hold this, like men are always

doing. Terry Joe, already numb from shock, stiff and entire, and the lines slipped through her fingers. Harvey hurried forward. Terry Joe could not see what he went to get. Since the boat was already well down in the water and it was the line to the dinghy that Harvey had hurriedly handed to her. Clearly Terry Joe had interrupted him at the very instant. He was getting off the blue bell. When he rushed back seconds later, he cried, the dinghy's gone. The dinghy was not slowly drifting

away in the dark from the sinking blue bell. When no further sound, he dived overboard, abandoning her on a now wave wash deck. She saw him swimming after the dinghy, but couldn't see if he caught up with it after he disappeared into the night. And so she's alone on the dark ocean. And she just has barely enough time to get to this little life raft, this little circle of cork or oval of cork, I guess. It's it's five foot long by two and a half feet wide.

“This is the kind of thing that like life guards throw to someone. I'm imagining, right?”

Yeah. I mean, I have never lifeguarded or been thrown that kind of thing, but that feels right.

Or, you know, that it's just like, I think it's designed for people to cling on to while in the water. It's not designed to be sat in by somebody, basically. And so she unties four half hitch knots, which go learn your knots, kids. I will never give you parenting advice, except one thing. Teach your children knots. And it's kind of the last possible second that she can get this cork raft free before the ship completely sinks from under her. And then it's kissed her in the water.

And she drifts over the next three and a half days for about 18 miles. And she ends up in the shipping lane where she's eventually found. But she's out on the ocean. The Coast Guard now knows to search for her, because despite Gillian Harvey being like, no, it's fine. They're still looking for survivors. But the search area is five thousand square miles. And so, you know, she sees planes. She takes off her blouse and waves it to one to try and signal it. But she's just

invisible against the ocean. Especially because she's surrounded by white caps. So she looks just like another little wave breaking. And so, like he said, the salt that's on her skin is making her burn faster. They're salt on her lips all the time. It's also extremely hot. And she gets a little bit of cloud cover occasionally. But mostly it's just the sun beating down on her. And so, she's getting extremely sunburned. She's also getting nibbled on. Not by predators,

but she gets nibbled on by parrot fish. I mean, they're predators if they're trying to eat her,

“they're a point. Well, they might not have a lot of teeth. I think they think she's coral.”

So, I guess intent is three tens through the law or something. Yes, predator coral fish. And so, she's able to, you know, to get a tiny little bit of water when it rains. It must be just like three drops. Yeah, almost nothing. Or just they, you know, she can't catch it, right? Because she's just wearing like a little like a blouse and petal pushers by the way. And she's wondering about her father and wondering if maybe he survived somehow and talking to God asking him to protect

herself and her father and also her little sister who she doesn't know what happened to her yet, either. And let me read you this quote from the book. Sometime later during the night,

the sky is cleared and she finally raised her head to see a great bowl of millions of bright stars

overhead. They increased her feeling of the unreal vastness of this world of water in sky. She felt like she was in some kind of strange cosmic dream, drifting alone through a dark infinity with nothing to hold on to. Drifting alone through a dark infinity with nothing to hold on to about herself. That's such a new bucket of description too. Yeah, I mean, it's almost like she's

during the daytime, which again, it's not that bad of hearing the shade and not on an open ocean

“and covered in salt and starving and everything. But when all that's happening, I think 85 degrees”

is hot. Yeah, well, you have reasonable perspectives on temperature. Yeah, I mean, a lot of that is what people are acclimated to, but she's from Green Bay, so I feel like exactly, I feel like she's a cold weather girl. What is your signature temperature? Is that a perfect 10 degrees? 10 below is the quote from Gereleau. 10 below perfect 10. Okay. I don't know, like in the summer 70, in the winter, 20 are sort of my, my perfect temperatures. I think sunny in 20 is very nice. Yeah, it's right here.

Only if you're, if you're, if you're walking, if you're sitting still, I don't know what, I don't know, sunny and, and well, my favorite weather in southern California is sunny, 60, and bone dry. I think that's very nice. I have 20 degrees in the winter can actually can, it can get a little bit warm if it's sunny. Like sled dogs can potentially overheat, especially like a black dog on a sunny day, but I digress. Just pretend, I mean, really when

ever times your tough, just pretend here is sled dog. And it is from sled dogs that I learned that if your phone is dying because it is cold, you can put it in your armpit, because if you don't have

a sled dog armpit, which is of course a deal, which you taught me many years ago. Sarah, I never

taught you that. This is the first thing I've heard of that. I swear to God, you taught me that. No, I didn't. Did I? Did you put your phone in a sled dog's armpit? I think you knew it and then you forgot it. Or maybe it was a joke you told that I took literally for the past decade. But I've done it and it works. Well, no, it makes sense. It's not a joke because that's the hottest part of the sled dog, right? Because that's where their skin is. I put my hands in my dogs armpits, what I'm

“cold, and you have to warm up your phone when it's cold. I think you put those two things together,”

but that's inspired. Oh, I innovative. Yeah, I've definitely never done that. I have definitely

put my phone in some sled dogs armpits. I have never done that. And I have had a very wonderful life

and that is proof of why. Well, great. So now we all learn to skill. And that is my big survival tip. If you're having a to build a fire situation, stick your cell phone into your dogs armpit, that's how that story should have ended. Okay. Yeah, and she also, let's talk about her dolphin encounter. Yeah, so she sees some seagulls, which is, makes me think of a movie I made you watch the shallows, where we also have a survival seagull. Some seagulls come by and but Terry moves and they fly away.

And then here's another passage from this book. Just as a seagull flew away, Terry Joe saw some large dark shapes just breaking the surface some yards from her raft, her heart caught in her throat. They came closer and she thought they might be porpoises, but they were too large and dark and had great bulbous heads. They swam passively near her, some 20 to 30 feet away, staring at her with large and passive dark eyes that barely broke above the surface of the water,

spouting regularly as they breathed. The great wushing sounds that they're breathed spoke to Terry Joe and seemed to say, "We are life, you are not alone. We are here with you." Terry Joe was immensely comforted by the presence of these gentle giants. She saw the little prayer of thanks to God for sending them their main nearby for hours. It sounds like her religion was a comfort to her too,

“during this. Yeah, I think I mean really pretty unequivocally based on her description of it. It”

it was because she it seems like she was really talking to God this entire time and holding it hope for her father to be alive. But I don't know it makes me think about because when we talk about the mental game that survival is, it feels like maybe so much of that comes to self-talk and sort of what reality do create for yourself in your mind and not talking to yourself in a way that causes you to ignore the stakes of your situation or to lie to yourself. But to be able to kind

to believe in a reality where you are loved and protected even if the people whose job it is to do that were murdered very recently and that some of that survival is carrying the love that she received from her family forward into that experience and also her faith as well. And I think just sort of believing that you're your safety matters deeply that you're being protected if not by people who are there with you but in some some way that is there with you spiritually or inside of you that

you know you're sort of warned you are going to try not to make moms cry with us. Yeah. Sorry. But I mean it just makes me think and I wish her mom could have known this about how obviously I

hope I'm around for my kids long past when they're 11 and I hope they never have to endure anything

remotely like this. But I do hope that at some point if I'm lucky and they're lucky they will be in this world after I am out of it. And you know what what you're trying to do as a parent is set them up so that they can carry on the things that they need from you even when you're not there. And Terry Joe lost her parents so early and in such a horrible way but they had still managed to succeed as parents in that sense that they gave her these gifts that were able to get her through this

“horrific thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think that is actually a beautiful description of”

what you try and do as a parent where it feels like maybe one of the goals is to love your child just to build off what you're saying to love your child in a way where when you're not there even when they're just you know like in a different state or something or just not with not in the room with you just as they go through life as they grow up that they can feel that love that you gave to them no matter where they are what's happening you know and that you can

be the first person to show them who they are with the way that you love them. Sorry moms. I love

you guys. I'm sorry. It's good to cry. I love crying personally. She's rescued. Wait where are we now? She's rescued. Yeah. Well, she's-- She's pleased. We're getting to that. She keeps enduring.

“She keeps floating. She's in the currents of the ocean now and she's not expanding energy trying”

to, you know, paddle or anything like that. And she's in the Northwest Providence channel. That's the shipping lane where she gets picked up and it's as this book also beautifully points out this vast underwater canyon that she's sort of in this tiny little vessel floating above. And she's out of spit. She can't swallow. On the third night she starts to hallucinate. She sees her father. And then the next day she's basically in and out of consciousness. She's so dehydrated that her blood

has thickened and her blood flow has slowed down. Her legs are cramping and she's able to put less and less weight on the ropes at the bottom of the boat because of just how much they're disintegrating. And her body temperature is around 105 degrees according to the book. Oh my god.

“And this is how she remembers being rescued. And again, I'm reading from alone.”

Through her super, she had sent something. And through the mist of half consciousness and demise, a huge shadowy shape loomed before her, like some great rumbling dark beast. Its rumble was so deep that she could feel its pounding rhythm in her chest. As she walked, it seemed to metamorphose from an unwirledly vessel floating above the sea to a great whale. And then into a solid black wall suspended in the air above her. She could dimly make out

voices shouting. She sensed that they were telling her to stay put. Digging deeper than she ever had in her life with a supreme effort she struggled into a half sitting position. She lifted an arm and managed to feeble wave then toppled back into the float. Somewhere, she found the strength to pull herself upright again and make a pitious effort to paddle with her hands. She fell back again to spent to hold herself up any longer.

Finally, the strong arms of strange powerful beings speaking in alien time were picking her up.

And she felt herself suspended limply in space, being lifted slowly up and up. And she slid back into oblivion. Oh my god, imagine being that ship and seeing that kid and just not knowing if she's alive or dead and then she moves. Yeah. And seeing something that like only kind of by sheer luck do you happen to see still? Yeah. Because of how high up you are compared to her and and how camouflage she is. I hate it. Okay. I know. The man whose

sponsor is second officer of the Captain Theo Nicolas Spocky Docus. So, you know, thank you. I hope they stay in touch. Physically, she doesn't seem to have permanent damage. She bounces right back. And she also, this is a big story, especially in Green Bay and also in Miami. And actually too, but like, you know, even more so in these places that are connected to it. And of course,

family that so many people would have been connected to in one way or another. And so when she's

better, she goes to live with her aunt and uncle in Green Bay. And she's gotten letters from well wishes all over the world. People are sending her gifts. She becomes pen pals with some of these people when at least one in the very, very long term. And she, you know, sets about trying to get back to normalcy. But one of the one of the problems as you mentioned is that it's 1961. And as the Spock points out, there's one therapist who sees children in all of Green Bay at this time.

Well, hopefully she's bumped to the top of the list. Well, unfortunately, you know, yeah. And so the thing is that we make fun of Millennials and Gen Zers for talking too much about trauma, but you know what? It's better than not talking about it at all. And that's really,

“I think the norm that culturally will still try to correct because her aunt and uncle out of,”

you know, the best of intentions decide that the best and the healthiest thing for her is for nobody to talk to her about it ever again. And it's not just her family. It's people in town. It's people at school. And so there's this sense that she seems to grow up with that everybody knows about this horrible thing that she's been through. And yet, she can't ever talk about it with anybody because she's supposed to be forgetting about it.

You mentioned when you brought up with a book that she wanted her story told, is that sort of the correction she makes as an adult that she chooses to come forward with what it happened. Yeah. Yeah. And then I mean, the rest of this book, which is really just as compelling as everything leading up to it, is Terry growing up. She changes the spelling of her name. And then, you know, figuring out what you do after you survive, which I guess is to figure out how to

not to be too rhyming, but figuring out how to thrive in life and how to build the life that you need. And and this is again, this is something that I guess love and feel so relatable to me that she

goes away to boarding school at one point. She gets her first serious boyfriend. And they break up.

And she is more upset than she has ever been and kind of is able to thrive for the first time, like including going through the survival experience because it's like there's something about just like, I mean, in one way, I'm like, it's all of the trauma she'd been through, finally allowed to surface, but also I'm like, but also sometimes having a stupid

“boyfriend who stops calling you is the worst thing that has ever happened. And absolutely is.”

And I guess love that. You can shock science by the things that you can survive and then avoid can still hurt your feelings. And so she grows up. She goes to college. One of the jobs that she eventually has and which she's apparently fantastic at is as a water management specialist in Auskash, which if you're wondering, where do I find someone who has survived something that I can't even possibly imagine? Where do those people hang out? And it's like they're just there. They're just

water management specialists in Auskash, like just look around. Women have collectively survived everything you can possibly think of. I often think that that the people around us have survived things we can't possibly imagine, right? If everyone around you on the grocery store had to tell you or if you could somehow like psychically pick up what was kind of, because one of the worst things that they had survived in their life, you would, you know, it would be hard to get it together

“to drive home emotionally, I think. So yeah, she does not really talk about what happened to”

her and surviving on the raft, you know, after this initial inquest is over for 19 years. Wow, until she's 30. Yeah, until 1980. And by then, you know, she has been living her life. She, her last kind of thing that she was able to get back from her family home in Green Bay was

her Tarzan outfit from when she would play Tarzan. And she marries her first husband,

who's a guy named John, who she says in the afterword is like a perfectly great guy. They guess kind of weren't a good fit, but they have her first daughter, Brooke, in 1974. And this is another very endearing fact that after she and John break up and get divorced or start the divorce proceeding, she goes and lives with John's four brothers in Florida, because she like just bonded with his family so much. They just kind of remained post-divores in laws. She meets her next husband,

Spencer in 1975, they're living in a tent in Naples, Florida. And in 1976, they have her second daughter,

I think they're kind of doing a happy thing. Okay, that's what I assume, but good to know for sure.

“I would love more details on her tent era, but you know, she's I think she's kind of maybe doing”

like a little bit of a Julia Roberts and runaway bride, where kind of your relationships kind of take you to the next place that you're going to live or what interests you're going to maybe try out.

That's a total guess. So that's her second marriage and after having her third child, Brian,

named for her brother. She goes with her second husband, Spencer, to Germany, and that's where she's living in 1980 when she takes her kids to see the pediatrician. And the pediatrician, you know, she fills out a form. And one of the questions she has to answer is, are your parents still living? And she writes no. And when the pediatrician asks how they died, she says how, and this is the first time that she's talked about this since it happened, or, you know, since the immediate aftermath.

Then so she just talks about it all. She starts talking about it. It sort of gradually enters her reality. And then she divorces her second husband, Spencer, she goes back to the United States with her kids and lives with her friend Pam and Kansas. And then her third husband, her third marriage, is her worst because she marry someone who turns out, and this is her description in the book, to be a pedophile. And so that is kind of her, her next survival situation in a way, aside from

“surviving beyond going after math because I think that sort of that never ends in this period of”

people not talking about it. But now she's in a situation where she has three children who she has living in a marriage in a house with someone who is dangerous to them. And so she has to, you know, once she has accepted this reality, take her kids and leave. And she gets out of that situation. And she just keeps on surviving and keeps on meeting men who she has to survive. Oh, girl. Yeah. And then finally, working in Ashkosh and her water management specialist job,

she meets this guy. She really likes named Ron. And he says that he had a voice you could cut wood with. And they fall in love and get married. And that is her ending to the book of her life that she ends up, you know, in these relationships and her adult life that seem to get in many ways more and more dangerous and that she, in the end, finds herself surviving a relationship. And then

ends up in the place that she wanted to be. And she also pretty much always lives near the water.

She, she's in Green Bay, she's in Ashkosh, she's in Wilmington, North Carolina for a time, which is a very beachy town. And she writes just like when I was a kid, I loved being outdoors on my own. Sometimes even in risky conditions. Wow, man. And so this book ends with her afterward. She's talking about, you know, surviving this unimaginable thing as a child. And then surviving something as an adult woman in a way that people, you know, you don't see fanfare about,

but which is just as meaningful. And just as odd as to find, I mean, survival isn't something

“you ever done with, I guess. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. And that's why we all have to help each”

other do it. And let me guess read you her conclusion to her afterward to this book and give her

the final word. So she writes, what I want to stress to all who read this book is never give up.

Always have hope and try to look on the bright side of things. Be positive, be trusting, and try to go with the flow, have compassion, give of yourself to those in need and be loving and kind. I believe that what you give comes back to you. And then we have an editor's note, which says Terry Fastbender was named Employee of the Year for the State of Wisconsin DNR in 1993. It was but one reflection of the kind of person that she had managed to become and of the kind of person she

always was. So if you're feeling, I guess love that it's like this profoundly emotional moment, you're kind of wiping away a tear and it's like, and she's the employee of the Year for the State of Wisconsin DNR. That's a big deal. It's a huge deal. You're right. I think it's a change in town, but like, good for her. Yeah, yes, yes. Well, and I think I feel like that's also a very, very Wisconsin coded editors note because like, she wouldn't ever tell you, but Terry was employee of the Year.

So bring it up a few sears. She won't mention it. And she'll get shy if you say it, but she did. Oh, Terry, is she still alive? As far as I know she is, and she has, you know, a beautiful family.

chat to see if I could see if she had been interviewed recently because this book came out in 2010.

“And so she won on TV to promote it then and kind of ended, I don't know, something that I think,”

I wonder if that was a meaningful experience for her to kind of returning to that story in the

public eye in a way that she hadn't, um, that scale since she was a kid. I can't imagine how powerful

it must have been if she went 19 years without anyone around her speaking of this. Yeah, or without her being able to speak of it. And then to be able to claim that story, claim what had happened to her. I mean, silence is destructive. For some people, it's protective, but to have it forced on you is destructive. And so for her to be able to do that. Well, thank you for, thank you also for telling her story, Sarah. I'm, um, thank you for being here and hearing it and just sharing it with me.

And yeah, I'm so, I'm so glad that we have so much of her own words about this. And I hope that she's just, I don't know, having a really nice walk along the water at this moment, perhaps and I smoked white fish dip. And yeah, I guess, I don't know, I've been thinking about the story for a while because I happened to cross it, you know, a few years ago and just could kind of could not stop

“thinking about it from that moment because I think at the end of the day, there's this question of like,”

what is it that can exist within a child or anyone really? But especially someone who's so young and so vulnerable to just be able to endure. And I think, I don't know, that maybe the most useful answer I've come to is that we don't know, but that you don't know it's inside of you until you find out. And I, I believe that you are listening now are not even aware of how strong that you can be

until you need it. I also hope that you never have to dig so deep that you're at capacity for

your strengths. Maybe all, yeah, never have to find out our limits. Yeah, I will also say that I think there's no perfect way to deal with trauma. There's so much we still don't know. And it's also individual and human relationships are complicated and difficult. And that's, you know, that's one of the great things about them. But I think Blair, you have done so much amazing work in

“writing about trauma and helping, I think so many people to feel that there is a place in the”

world for them to be heard and see in what they've experienced and have modeled finding ways to talk about it and showing people that struggling to survive on a daily basis shows your strength the not your weakness. And so thank you for, thank you for helping to keep making the, that culture that we live in a place where we can do that surviving work more easily. Well, I, my hope for all of us is that we won't need to. Yeah, I love that. Oh, I do, oh wait, I have one last thing. This is great.

Let me read this to you from the book because, you know, one of the problems as we discussed a couple times is that nobody can see her out on the open ocean. She's in a white raft. She has very pale blonde hair. She's practically invisible. And so after the Coast Guard in Quest, the one where Terry Joe is able to give a very detailed account of what she experienced and also to contradict beyond pretty much a shadow of a doubt, Julian Harvey's claims that the boat sink

all by itself because she's able to describe exactly what she saw him doing. The Coast Guard makes a recommendation based on the fact that no one could see Terry Joe and they write basically they're going to amend the vessel inspection regulations, quote, to require that the body of buoyant apparatus, life rafts and life floats used on board vessels or artificial islands and fixed structures on the other kind of no shelf. Be painted or otherwise colored, international oring.

The above recommendations appear at the very end of the Coast Guard report on the blue bell case. They were duly adopted by the Coast Guard and have been enforced now for decades. It is not generally known that the widespread use of international oring. That we now take for granted is due to the ideal of a brave young girlfriend green bay alone and almost invisible on the high seas in a tiny white raft. Since that change was made, untold numbers of others who

would have been lost at sea have been found. So also, yeah, may you never have to survive and when you

do your survival may make someone else's survival easier in a way that you can never possibly anticipate. That's a perfect note to endown, Sarah. It's beautiful. Thank you. And also Blair, maybe talk about survival while lying in great comfort on lounges by a pool with all you want to eat sushi. Oh yeah, with all you care to eat, no pressure sushi. That was my episode. Thank you so much for listening.

and the Cole Ortiz, who is our administrative assistant.

“Thank you, of course, for our wonderful guest and our survival correspondent, Blair Breaverman.”

You can find out more about her and our show notes. She's the author of some wonderful books,

including one of my personal favorites, the novel Small Game, which is about a survival reality show

“going terribly wrong. We also have a new bonus episode that you can listen to about all”

things, dolls, creepy dolls, haunted dolls, dolls with dolls, and a doll survey for our listeners.

With our guest Chelsea Weber Smith of American Astaria, we can find that on Patreon

“and Apple Plus subscriptions. Thank you again for being here, for surviving for all of you too.”

I'll see you next time. [Music]