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For 50% less your first year, go to Home Serve.com/2020 to find the plan that's right for you. Home Serve.com/2020 for 50% less savings compared to renewal price void in Florida. Hello everybody. Welcome to 2020 The App to Show.
“I'm Deborah Roberts and as always, it's really good to have you with us.”
And particularly today because we're taking a deeper look at a story that feels really personal to me. 2020 episode which just aired that revolved around 11 year old Jacob Wedderling. He was a young boy who was a bright light in his family who was abducted by a masked gunman while writing his bike home from a Minnesota convenience store back in October of 1989.
He was actually with his younger brother and a friend when this happened.
The two other boys were unharmed and released, but Jacob was never seen alive again.
What was so difficult about this and for the family and while I guess why it feels so intense for me as a mom is that this mom, Patty Wetterling and her husband and her family had no answers for 27 agonizing years. Well, I met Jacob's mom Patty and spent a couple of days with the family and I have to say her strength, her resilience, her determination have just been something that I have never been able
to forget. She turned this devastating loss into a nationwide crusade to help other families, victims and to ensure child safety. Patty joins us now from her home in Minnesota. Hi Patty.
Good to see you. It's a see you again. You look fantastic, by the way, in that yellow I have to say it's been a little while since I've seen you, but your brightness has not dimmed and I'm really happy to see that. Thank you so much.
“How are you doing, by the way, and how has your husband Jerry doing?”
Jerry's good. We are both feeling lucky to be healthy and strong and our kids are good and happy and grandkids are amazing. You have grandchildren. You have grandchildren.
We do. We have six grandkids and they just sparkle. Well, that's a one part of you that I did just struck me because you so enjoyed just being a mom of your brood of kids and let's go back to this horrible scenario for your family back in 1989.
You're in the classic, you know, mom raising four children in St. Joseph, Minnesota. Sports, you know, was a big part of your family.
There was always chaos in the family like it would be in any family and give us a sense
of what life was like because you sort of really painted that picture for me with your calendar and all the activities. What was life like for you at that point is a mom? Oh gosh, I was lucky enough. I had taught previously and at that point in time I was lucky enough to be able to stay
home and be a stay at home mom with these four amazing children, but they were involved in everything. Jacob was in every sport, you know, soccer, baseball, football, basketball, just and so was Trevor and Amy and Carmen gymnastics and dance and I love kids. It was just my world.
Give me a sense of again, of that night October 22nd and what those early days were like for you when it all just sort of stopped. There was nothing on the calendar because that was the day Jacob went missing. Oh gosh, it was like getting picked up and thrown on to another planet. We were with friends at a dinner party and we got a phone call from the neighbor saying
that somebody had kidnapped Jacob and it was like, what it is and you can't, you're psyche can't handle that, it doesn't make any sense. But we came home and met with law enforcement at the abduction site and they followed
Us home and there was already an officer in our home and it just began this s...
And I know I look back at some of the media I did at the beginning, I was in shock.
I was just off into to La La Land. I had I couldn't grasp it, who would harm a child and then they said the most of us often sexual and it's like, who would do that? I couldn't grasp it, it absolutely took me a long time and so Jerry, Jerry was able to step up and and do you know answer questions and and do we were told the number one
way kids are found is when someone sees their their their picture and knows their story and calls the police. So we tried we used the media to help us get the story out and thank you all, everyone was so kind about you know trying to help us find Jacob and Jerry did all of the media at the beginning, I was I know it was in shock and I'm looking back.
Yeah, no I can imagine that that plaintiff question you ask, who would harm a child and when you said that to me when we said and talked I mean it just absolutely grabbed me around the heart because that's that's your thinking and this is the 80s and you were some of the early families that we really kind of got to know media wise who had lost
“missing children kind of a wake up call I think for for the nation but when you talk about”
how it was so hard for you but Jerry did that those interviews and interestingly you know he was getting criticism people thought he didn't look a certain way somehow they thought he would look a little suspicious and you everybody said you needed to talk they needed to hear from the mom how tough was that for you for you know remind folks what that was like to have your husband looked at suspiciously and now you've got to take
the charge and you've got a marriage and a family you're trying to hold together.
Right, it was devastating I've heard for him he was we were together and he would never
harm a child or anyone actually and I think that people were trying to protect themselves if we if it was our fault then your kids would be safe you know I that's simplistic and man are often judged in these situations it's it's hurtful and harmful and it can lose time in the real search so I I didn't know what I was never knew what I was doing on this whole journey but I was very very honest we had nothing to hide and I was desperate
I was absolutely desperate everything I did was to try and our other kids knew that if was them we'd be searching as hard for them and they wanted Trevor wanted to help he was in some of the media and I can't believe I let him do that but he was begging he wanted to find his brother so we were all we were all in and I would talk to anybody who would listen who could possibly help yeah and your your please and your composure I mean
even though you were in shock you were so effective when you got out there and people
“can see that in our peace I remember you talked about keeping the porch light on because”
adjusting case you know Jacob somehow was lost that he would find his way back there and I'm just sort of curious because people who may not have had a chance to see the full
episode and they can always watch it later but you know your hope didn't wait and I mean
you held on to hope that you were going to find Jacob didn't you I did I believed in my heart that we had to you know not only for us but there was a man out there it was still his kids I wanted the whole world to not stop we have to find Jacob who took him where is he what happened and I I get asked that all the time but I never I never gave up hope we had to find him it was a desperateness inside of me you don't stop. Nine months before Jacob was taken Jared Chirole a
12 year old boy from nearby cold spring Minnesota which was just 10 miles away from patty's home was abducted and assaulted before he was actually let go. Patty when you heard about Jared and did you think these cases would be connected? Right we heard about Jared right towards the beginning I know that there was another boy named Jared didn't know his last name that had been taken but he was let go so there's hope I hadn't met him for years and met him later on through a
TV station kind of arranged for us to meet but he was busy he was growing up and living his life so it wasn't till years later when he he was brave enough to share his story that it opened up it was like a the sky clearing it's so much happened as a result of Jared being brave enough to come
“forward. Yeah and bravery is the key word and so many of these stories including yours. Patty I”
want to we're going to have to take a quick break but I want to come back and talk more about
The years that went by even though you were still holding on to hope but it w...
someone which surface a man by the name of Danny Heinrich and I want to talk about that as you
“search for answers and also how an appearance in court with him changed everything in this case so”
you all stay with this will be right back with Patty. This show is sponsored by Murder in the Heartland, a podcast from ID. Murder in the Heartland explores real crimes across small town America towns that might look a lot like your own every week uncover shocking stories of murder and betrayal from a suspicious hunting accident to a college student who disappears after her shift at the local bar. Here from investigators witnesses and
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Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's banking partners qualifying direct deposits required terms and limits apply go to chime.com/disclosures for details. Welcome back to 2020 The After Show. I am here with Patty Wedderling, a mom who is dealing with heartache and trauma but has also turned it into a real purpose in her life. Patty signed Jacob was abducted and assaulted murdered at just 11 years old and it
would take 27 years for her family to get answers. Patty has chronicled her journey of trauma and hope in a book called Dear Jacob. In Friday's episode we spoke with Jared Chirole and it had actually been nine months before Jacob was taken that Jared had been abducted and sexually assaulted and fortunately released but police were able to confirm that one man's DNA actually matched DNA from Jared's case and how did that hit you Patty when we were talking about Danny Heinrich.
He was the man who police were able to connect this DNA but it's years and now you're starting to kind of get this puzzle put together and now you're figuring that there's zeroing in on somebody. Was it hard-a-releaf? What would the emotions for you? Oh it was so everything. We had formed a team with Joy Baker, the co-author, Jared, Jerry and I and we were pushing and we got the sheriff invited the FBI, cold case review team to come and they're the ones who re-rand Jared's clothing.
It's not like it hadn't been processed for DNA before but DNA advanced all this time period. So they knew it was Danny Heinrich who took Jared but we didn't have any connectedness to to Jacob. They did a search warrant, they didn't find anything of Jared's or Jacob's but they did find pornographic images so they were able to arrest him on those charges. I didn't want it to be Danny Heinrich. I knew it would be a horrible ending. I was my mind and my heart were in
our in battle. I knew it had to be him but my heart did not want it to be him so I was in turmoil for a really long time and and still we were held hostage unless he told us where Jacob was we knew nothing. You were not closer. Yeah yeah and that was what was so heartbreaking about this whole thing just being in limbo. Well Jared actually bravely shared his story with us on 2020 and I want to play a little bit of that interview from Friday night. Let's take a look.
People don't realize that just what it took to come forward and speak up and speak out
“but ultimately it proved to be a pretty key factor in helping solve or find resolution to this.”
Fear will consume you. It'll become a part of you if you don't learn to overcome it or get strong and and speak up. Speak out and find avenues to talk about it. Being a male victim of a sexual
Soul have learned that there's a lot more male victims other than the world t...
a lot of it just go isn't discussed because men don't typically talk about it. We don't have the
“same outlets as women. Women have built a large coalition against against abuse and they have”
numerous support avenues to help them get through difficult times. Along with a more openness to talk about it. Through the years the community watched patty wetterling the wetterling family fight hard to keep the case alive to advocate for other missing people to get involved in legislature or to try to make a change despite the unfortunate incident that gone through. Patty's strength is an inspiration for a lot of people. A lot of people see her as a
really big advocate for for good reasons. She speaks out she speaks their mind. Patty you got to know Jared. Give me a sense of what he meant to you. I mean as you said he was let go your son was taken and you had not heard anything from him. Tell us about that bravery that he showed what he meant to you and also just in trying to figure out what happened to your son.
Jared and I got to be really close friends and I was worried at first when he wanted to tell
his story because I worked with a lot of victims and going public brings out a lot of other people who sometimes are helpful and sometimes can judge. So he bravely went forward. He shared his story and so there was an energy and the four of us I jokingly said a blogger plumber a chiropractor in a mom that we were teaching us so we're feeding all of this information to the sheriff's department
“and the FBI at this point became involved and it was all of that energy that I think eventually”
applied pressure into him wanting to tell he plea bargained. That was so significant because
an october october 28th of 2015 Danny Heinrich. He was actually arrested and ultimately as you said
he would strike a plea deal. The statute of limitations had run out for the kidnapping charges but police as you said found those pornographic images inside his house so they were able to go ahead and charge him but he took a struck a plea deal so he wasn't able to be charged in the disappearance or the presumed death of your son but you wanted to know what had happened in part of that deal was that he would share some information. How hard was that for you to not go be able to see more
happen here? I for 27 years I was focused I wanted to know where's Jacob. I'll let the rest of the world deal with the guy. I didn't invest any energy into this man. I just tell me where's my son and that was my purpose and there's no amount of sentencing or justice for a crime like this. So I really didn't think about him ever. I seldom say his name. He wasted a lot of years and a lot of life units but I just needed to know where's Jacob and what happened. I totally
understand what you're saying but when you did find out and he ultimately does reveal something what was that like for you though seeing his face? Oh gosh I was sitting next to Trevor in court and you could feel you know when he walked into that room you could you'd feel him but his face was blank. There's a man who doesn't care about life and respect and everything that I believed in. He's not so it was like there was no there was nothing. It was sort of like this blank
soul but I heard I heard for Jared because he never did get justice. I really for all those years
I was focused on Jacob and I don't think about him ever. Don't blame me one bit. You ultimately petty I just my heart just ached and still continues to ach for you because when you described how you finally ultimately did find out you know he killed your son and you know in a moment of panic after he had taken him and he eventually shared where his body had been buried and all of that
“and I remember asking you in the peace you know was it something you almost wish you hadn't known”
or you know was it better not to know and ultimately you did want to know and I'm just sort of
Wondering like all these years later 37 years later you know I'm imagining th...
hasn't ease how much do you think about Jacob? I think about Jacob all the time he's with us he's
still with us he sends messages and he gave us an eagle that he'd made in a fifth grade art and every time I see an eagle every time I go out on the road to speak or something there's an eagle that just guides my way and it's like hijack. I remember him I remember the joy I remember the
“world that he knew and it's worth fighting for and that's what I what I carry I can't live with the”
the horrific ending I have to celebrate the life that he lived. I love that I love that you are are fighting and I want to talk more about that we're going to take a break but the fact that you're
able to fight for others is just pretty remarkable patty I want to talk about that and we're going to
get into the work that she's doing to protect children and keep her son's memory alive so just stay with us we'll be right back. It's very good. It's some unreal racist newly up game. Welcome back to 2020 the after show I am here with patty wetterling a woman who in my mind is just a heroine and patty I am embarrassed you and I say that but you just are you are the epitome of bravery
and strength and just heroism really because you've become a crusader and the fights you protect children from sex offenders after losing your own son to a sex offender and again I just the idea that you have stayed in the public eye because you had gone to legislator and tried to have laws changed and just gotten so involved you could have just as easily have kind of shrunk back
“into life but it was important for you to really stay in this fight wasn't it?”
It was I couldn't I couldn't back off I met other families who were going through a similar thing and some didn't have the support that we did so you know shared energy could could help them as well and I just everything inside of me screamed you know that we should build a world where kids of the right to grow up safe and follow their dreams and what has to happen to make that to make that so and I tried to help as many families as I could we try to
get on the prevention side wouldn't it be nice if it's never happened to another family and I
think there are lessons that can be shared in building building that and I I got I drew a lot of energy from the kids themselves I I got I received letters from other children who had been
“victimized or who had run away and bad things had happened and I was fighting for them as well”
I just I guess I just it was fighting for Jacob but also and not but the world that he believed in and that impacted every every child well it's it's just pretty amazing and I want to talk about that advocacy work but I also want to know we talked in the piece to patty about your family life and how you know for many couples something this traumatic and tear them apart you said you weren't going to let him have your marriage that that Heinrich had your son but he was not
going to have your marriage and I'm I'm give folks out there a sense of as a family you know how you go on you had other children to care for when you were living through this nightmare and also trying to make a difference in your stepping forward but you're trying to make sure that they're taken care up how do you how do you navigate that as a as a as a as a mom and as a parent I had a lot of counseling I I advise getting some outside help because you're going through something that no
human being should have to to go through and with that we would have like family meetings and talk about what do you say when somebody says something that's cruel or hurtful and how do you how do manage the leads that would come up and we we shared that way the kids could tell of what was going on in school they would have your rumors and stuff too there was so much impact on this community and I I thought we journey and I had built something really good and we wanted our the
other three kids to be able to not live in a fearful world to be able to go out and enjoy people and this is great big wonderful world out there I didn't want them to be so scared so it's counterintuitive
I ended up being more encouraging them to go out everybody thought I would ju...
sight hold them tight exactly but I didn't want that for them I wanted them to be free and to
to be confident and no there's more good people in the world than bad and so during I we worked really hard at keeping our our family together and ourselves when the kids all left and the empty nesters I just kind of looked at them it's like you still here now what do we do I would still here and I'm so here let's down oh I love that it's you know we started to celebrate us again
“and you know get to know the parts of us that did just sort of set aside because you have to and”
then you just rebuild and I'm proud of us makes me cry I'm proud of you too also I mean I know having heard from you what you went through and wow and that might explain to that that glow I can see about you that you kind of claimed your life again you know the advocacy work has been so important for you you were chair of the National Center for Missing and Exploded Children for many years you we've come a long way since the 80s since Jacob was taken but I'm sure there's
a lot of work to be done what what do you want to see changed most right now in terms of how we deal with these things and how how how our world is I think that one of the big things that well a technology's gotten better in terms of helping fine kids but it's also a a lure that we
“did not have to deal with with all of the social media and stuff like that so I think sharing”
information is a really important part of it um scared kids are not safer so talk about things you know share um articles that you you might read the National Center for Missing and Exploded Children has really good information online and it's good talking points for kids what do you use the other thing I think parents need to do is listen to children because they see the world different and they can give you much insight one of my favorite letters I got a lot of letters from kids one
of my favorite letters was from a second grader named Dalton and he said you know I hope Jacob will be fine and he'll come home if he's not all right you'll see him in heaven and he said my dog died if Jacob's there he can play with my dog oh I just that was an image I could live with you
know I was never world of pedophiles and child molesters it's the vision of how we want the
“world to be and I think that we can't ever lose sight of that vision if you don't have a vision”
you can't build a path there so I met kids who came home I've met many of the kids who came home and it's a it's a lot to overcome but their great shining lights in the in the search and the problem of missing children because they can come home if we're all looking and caring and trying to build that safer world yeah and a lot of them out there missing according to the FBI estimates about 460,000 children reported missing every year so you know there's a lot of work to be done
you say and you said this earlier you don't want you know kids to miss out on having that carefree life and families to be able to you know let their kids at least be kids and but you know we do know more today than we did when you miss Jacob back in 1989 that you know so much happens and how do you teach kids to live their lives and be free but not be so consumed with stranger
but to also be safe right it's not typically a stranger or harms a child so that's the first piece
of awareness is that knowing boundaries and if somebody makes them feel uncomfortable they're wanting them to do something they don't want to do to talk to an adult if kids can be connected to like five adults you know they could they could share with one of them if they often don't want to tell their parents of something bad happens but they could they could share with a caring adult make it I like to empower kids so they know what to do they know how to get away they know how to
tell if something's is going on and also we need to we need to quit creating those who would harm a child talk about boundaries respect permission consent you know those are all things that kids learn it really it young ages and it's part of becoming a decent caring human being on this planet is nurturing the good behaviors as well such important information important lessons there you know and not creating people who hurt hurt people hurt people is you know we've heard
that expression before I let you go so many when you think about you having this heartache for so many
Years so many people of course have been talking about Savannah Guthrie and h...
colleague and a friend of ours here at this network her mother's been missing for many many
“months now she talks about the agony and the heartache of not knowing you know what it's like”
to be in that that that zone what do you say to a family like hers or maybe another family who might be in that same situation not knowing and trying to figure out how to deal with that unknown possibly tragedy up ahead but yet trying to sort of hold on to their lives it's heartbreaking and that the not knowing is there's no sense to it why why would this have happened and where is she what happened there's a there's a desperateness that we all need to know what happened to Savannah's mom
and just knowing I just wanted to know she's not alone and all of us are caring and looking and trying to keep that story alive her situations a little different because of her mom had medical issues and stuff so don't lose sight of the wonderful person that you're you're fighting for and and celebrate the all the gifts that she gave to you along the way because you don't want
“you want to remember how she lived her life not not the horrible way it ends yeah yeah that's a”
very good point and it seems that you really have focused on that with with Jacob you know not thinking about how how do you honor his memory I know you say you see the equals and you wave and you think about him any other ways that you sort of keep him alive in your heart and in your world I still go out to visit him at the cemetery and we chat I write I still write dear Jacob you know
here's what's going on in the world I he's been part of my my soul my spirit for all these years
and yeah was will be yeah I don't I can understand that I mean he sounds like just a remarkable boy I love that you hold those memories dear and that you have continued to celebrate him and to
“celebrate your life and your husband's life see hello to Jerry for us we'll do that he sends his”
greetings back well Patty thank you so much for joining us on this podcast episode so often we talk to our producers about putting a piece together or we'll talk to someone who is on the outside of a story but to talk to you somebody who's in the inside of something like this but who is also made a difference in our world has been so special so thanks again for being with us and you can pick up Patty's book it's called Dear Jacob a mother's journey of hope and it is all about
hope it's available such an amazing read and of course you can find 2020 on Friday nights on ABC
and you can stream episodes like this one anytime on Disney Plus and Hulu take care of your body three decades ago a young woman named Angie Dodge is found brutally murdered in her bed room in Idaho Falls it was the probably the worst case I've ever seen it is the one that sticks with me please zero in on a suspect and put a man behind bars I don't know what the hell you guys want do you think we'd be wasting our time and waste in your time if we didn't think you're a boss
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