A Week of Southern Men, Unmade Plans, and Getting Snubbed

The High Eyes and Low Loads of My Life is a Daddy to two kids and dozens of housewives.

Joining me as always is my co-host John Hill, hey John.

Hey honey, sweetie, spring is here. Oh, thank God. I'd a long way to dinner with the southern charm guys. And John Mayer crashed and we ran into Julia Roberts, it was a big night. You'll hear all about that.

Got my eye surgery book for next week, working on spring bank plans, birthday party for Lucy. I was snubbed by the Watch What Up Inside Softball Team and I'm working with the children on their manners. This is Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries Podcast.

“Monday, March 9, 20, 26, good morning everybody, it is, what is it?”

I think it's Monday, you know what it is, girl. It's warm, it's spring. Why are you wearing a big old sweater and you look like you're bundled up? I have a, I'm in all parts of our agency shirt under this. Okay.

And I have a like zip-up sweater as a jacket, which will come off shortly. I mean, kind of take it off, it's exciting, it is exciting, there's nothing like, and by the way, this don't mean we're not going to get another bomb. Oh yeah.

That always happens in March, you get a surprise, no storm.

I mean, but we know it's coming, I have a feeling that we are going to be broadcasting from that office of mine on a snow day one more time. One more time. Yeah. I just want to reset my expectations and say that that could definitely happen.

It will happen.

“Even when I didn't live here, it would always be like surprise, march, hazard, however,”

when a day like today comes or yesterday, I mean yesterday, I was in short in a tank town. It was like, I bet you were, I bet you were, you are. It was hot. Yes. Um, I, uh, I, yeah, it was like, it was very overcast yesterday the sun broke through.

A couple of times, but it was 64 degrees and we were outside. I had a full throttle kids weekend this weekend, but also, yeah, it was just a great weekend. And yesterday, being able, I was in the playground with my kids for like four, well, I, Dr., I was there about three hours and I mean, we brought the basketball. He brought, you know, I mean, we were out there and he was running around with his friends.

And it was just glorious. Yeah, I was out all day. Ah, it just makes, yeah, I tracked your progress at one point because I went home at a round four to do some riding and I, um, and I, and I was like, kind of hung, I was out on my terrace and I was like, ooh, this is too good.

“I was like, this would be a good cakey, I was like, well, where's John?”

You were heading down the village, you were like on six Avenue. You look like you were heading into so, oh, around four, 30. Were you, what were you doing specific, I would you say for the people? Yeah, well, actually around that time, it's funny, as you mentioned that I was actually headed to, uh, three lives bookstore and as I walked out, I had gone to three lives on Saturday.

Oh, no way, uh, I had gone to my two hour gym. In class, I do on Sundays and I was kind of like gross, but I was running my errands and I had Pete with me and I was walking into three lives and I hear someone scream at me. And I was like, oh, no, and I, I couldn't see, I had my sunglasses on, but I didn't have my regular glasses on.

I couldn't see who it was. And the girl comes out of Julius yelling my name and whistling and I was like, oh, no. What's this? And then she runs up and hugs me and I realize it's jessel, hold on, jessel from the New York housewives knows you well enough to be coming out of Julie, jessel was a Julius.

There's so much going on. I sat across from jessel at Evan Ross Katz, first big chaos dinner in L.A. years ago. We became friendly. She wants, she has a guy, she wants to hook me up with his very cute. He's British.

I want to do a citizenship. I want to get out of here. Yeah. We've been chatting. She was a Julius with this guy.

She saw me. She ran out. She was like, come in here. I'm with the guy.

She looked like a billion dollars.

Yes. She's like, oh, good. I'm like, of course you're at Julius. And I had walked past Julius thinking, like, I looked in the windows, like, I wish I was at Julius. Did you go in and meet the guy?

No, because I was from the gym. I had the dog with you.

So we're, oh, really? You would have gone into Julius with crotch rot and two shows of the food. I didn't know. I did not feel like I had a chihuahua had books. I had a tote bag.

Like, I wasn't like, that's the moment to lay eyes on the guy. And then I would have gone in because I would have been like, okay, let me cross this around. That I could be like, okay, he is hot in person. Or I don't like the tone of his voice.

No, I know. I should, I like the tone of his voice.

Well, finally enough, John Mayer and I had dinner on Wednesday night.

I can't say John Mayer without saying it like Lucy says it, which is John Mayer. John Mayer and I had dinner on Saturday night.

“And he texted and he was like, what, what are the plans?”

And I said, look, I'm on my way to Julius for an early meet-up with Shady Bill and Chris. I go and then I was going to come and meet you and he goes, well, could I meet you before? And I said, yeah, so John Mayer came to Julius. And that was really fun.

And he had a non-alcoholic beer. And I had a real beer. It's fun. So all the greats were at Julius. Oh, John Mayer.

That is really funny. Yeah, that's where I was. Oh, man, New York housewives. It is, we are in production. I read the hot cheats yesterday.

Off to a strong start feeling really good. I got to tell you, I had a night. I need to tell you about this night that I had Thursday night. Because it has been talked about for a few years. The idea that I would take Craig, Shep, and Austin out to dinner.

It's like, okay, I want to take you guys out to dinner sometime, whatever. So it comes to be that this is going to happen last Thursday night. Now, I had a party to go to after for no me fry rights for the New Yorker. Who, John Mayer is friends with. And he was going to be at that party.

And I was taking Craig Shep and Austin to San Vicente bungalow, which is a private club that I belonged to. Right when Friday. Were you were Friday? That is crazy. Yes.

Okay, so I was there Thursday. So I'm taking them there. Now, at about seven o'clock, I'm meeting them at eight something. About seven, John Mayer texts me and says, "What are you doing before the party?

Like, do you have plans?" I said, "Oh, I have a dinner with these guys from Bravo." He goes, "Oh, he said, "Well, maybe I'll crash." He goes, "What would it be if I crashed?" I go, "Well, look, let me just tell you who these guys are

and then you can decide." And he's like, "You know what? I'm up for it. I'm coming." So I said, "Great."

“Now, Austin is, I think Austin's a John Mayer fan.”

I know Shep is a dead fan. Whatever. Craig, I have no sense of his musical interests or anything. But so, John Mayer and I go.

And we sit down at the table and comes Craig first.

And he sits down and he's like, "Oh my God, he said, Austin's going to freak out when you come." Whenever, when he comes and he sees you sitting here, fine. So then, Craig and Shep come. I'm sorry, Shep and Austin come.

And I mean, you know, they sit down. And immediately, they are, you know, wild, the three of them together. And they are, they get in. They start getting into it. I've had something.

And I go, "You guys." Like the dining room at San Vicente, Mungolo. It's Loki. It's Loki. It's fancy.

There's a piano player. Yeah. I mean, elegant. Yes. elegant.

And sophisticated. Yes. Like Shere. And so, I go, "You guys bring it down." And then, Austin's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We gotta be quiet. You guys, come on. Go to be quiet. We gotta be quiet." Like, so funny.

Now, John is now asking them questions of

that their show, which he's never seen.

“John's like, "Do you share a house together on the show?”

Do you, you know, John's trying to figure out what it is?" Craig is like, "Well, they film it like a movie." And I'm like, "What?" They film it, like, you know, so at movies. There's a lot of misinformation coming around.

I mean, it was just so funny. And then, and he's trying to figure it out. And, like, you know, and, and, and, um,

Do you date girls on the show?"

And we're like, "I'm like, they much of his is about, like, the horrible things they do to girls. And then, how are they going to get better and improve or whatever?" I mean, it was very funny. And, um, so it's some point,

Austin turns to John, like, an hour an and he goes, "What do you think of us, John? Like, what do you think of us?" And John, and it was so funny, because I was wondering myself, like, "What is John going to say to me on the way

to this party about these areas?"

“And John goes, "I think that the three of you”

have the most chaotic energy. I have almost ever been around." He said, "I do not understand your speech patterns. I do not understand."

He goes, "I'm not disinterested."

But he's, like, it is a level of chaos that I don't. He said, "I don't understand your rhythms." Well, for reality stars, that seems like they've done their job. Yes, right. Exactly.

It was so... They're in the right line of work. I mean, they are. They really are. Yeah.

And then, so, at the next table, was my friend, Julia Roberts, and Diane Soyer. And so, and I had said to Julia on the way,

“and I go, "Do you watch Southern Charms that she goes”

like sometimes?" Yeah. And I said, "Okay, and I said, "Come by my table on your way out." And she could just say, "Hi." So, here she comes.

So, I say to them, "Hey, guys, I want you to meet my friend Julia. They all turn around. There is Julia Roberts." Now, these guys, I will give it up to them. They are such Southern gentlemen.

They all three stand up as quick as they can. Rise to bow to royalty, which they do. And then Diane Soyer blows them away, and she says to each of them, "I'm Diane Soyer." And they were like, "Oh, my God.

We are in the presence of royalty." So, it was very funny. We had a really good night. And after the party, John went his way. I went my way, which led me right back to the bar down the street from where I lived.

That Craig and Austin in Chep were at. And we had a very spirited debrief of the night. And they were in very funny form. And I think if you watch the show, you are probably wondering, "Well, how does that leave

things with Craig and Austin?" And I will say, "You really have to watch the reunion, but they are able to be around each other." But I would say, "It is a more than fraught relationship, more than fraught."

So that was a really fun night. I mean, really fun. Where do you order? I have to say, "Shep" was especially historical. At dinner. He was very funny.

What did I order at San Vicente in Bonnello? Let me try to recall. I ordered the chicken and the tuna tartar. What is the amount of tuna tartar

“that one would have to eat to be eating too much mercury?”

Would it have to be like five minutes or something? If I ate tuna tartar at dinner. By the way, I deleted ChatGPT and I got claw. Me too. Yes, Sarah Jessica told me.

Yeah. And I got it. And did you transfer everything from ChatGPT? You know, I didn't have a relationship with my ChatGPT. It might have known more than you think.

Well, it probably did. But I deleted it from my phone. Yeah.

And I never said my name is Andy.

Right. I never did that. I did that with clawed. Yeah. So because I was thinking...

How is it that a 13-year-old has made these accusations against the president of the United States? And it's not the number one story everywhere. And there's like a total diversion going on. Then I was like, I might need to talk to clawed about where these allegations

are before I start talking about them. And it seemed odd. Jordan, you look like the cat that ate the canary? No, I just wanted to tell you that six to nine ounces per week of raw tuna is considered excessive.

Because you should eat one, four to six ounce serving weekly. That's safe. Oh, well, then there you go. Then I would say, do not eat more than, well, no, but this week. That's two and a though.

I had set, she just said, no, you didn't tuna tartar. I did, so I probably had like over a pound of tuna tartar. Yeah, so just lock it up for the rest of the week. Overly excessive. A pound is a lot.

Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying.

“Wouldn't you say two orders of tuna tartar would be a pound?”

You ate the whole serving? Yes, ma'am. Okay, you didn't share that with the table? No, I didn't. So I had some tuna sushi at the NBC executive dining room.

Okay, yeah, so that was a bad week. Calm down. Too much mercury. Yeah, a typical serving of tuna tartar ranges from four to eight ounces. So you're in that pocket.

There you go. Or switch off a steak tartar. Went to a great Chinese, I don't need steak tartar. Went to a great Chinese restaurant with SJP last night in Chelsea. And I don't want to say the name of it because I don't want to blow it up.

Because she's always there, but it's really good.

And I'm going to give you the name of it because you need a great Chinese restaurant. I do. I ordered that from that place that Sandy Bernhard recommended for Christmas. And what was down? If you get the name, it was it was gray, but it was far.

Okay, yeah. This is in your neighborhood. I know which one it's not. It's not the one on eighth Avenue. That's.

Oh, man, that was rough. Okay. And I had a great dinner at with my kids before I went out with SJP last night. I just, I had so many things to do with the kids this weekend. A lot of commitments, which is why also.

Actually, I was not able to go to Robert Junior's service on Saturday in Salt Lake City. It was a full report, though. And I hear it was an absolutely incredible ceremony. It was Pentecostal. And besides the Salt Lake City housewives and production team,

I know that Cynthia was there. And Chere was there. And Kyle Richards was there. Which was just. I love it that they went.

So kind, they are real ones, those three. And I hear that the service was so uplifting and so moving. And absolutely kind of rapturous and Mary was. On one. I mean, in a spiritual life, she was spiritually on one.

Yeah. Let me say that. And Robert Senior spoke and was a parent. And Kyle said Robert Senior was unbelievable. So, there you go.

Took the kids to a kids morning at the Whitney Museum yesterday. Which was really great. Didn't know how they were going to react.

But then they fought it at first.

And then they were compliant. And they knew where all these art projects. And we did them together. And that was really fun. They wanted to eat at the cafe at the Whitney.

And I was like, it's like on dive salads. Like you're not. You do not want this food. They went mental. I was like, we are running home.

We're going to eat food. And then we are running to the playground. Like it is a pit stop at best. Lucy cried the whole way from the Whitney home. Like screaming crying.

And I was like.

“I remember that going to museums was always like I didn't enjoy it.”

But there was it was kind of a roller coaster. You say on dive. I think it's supposed to be on deep. On deep. On deep.

I love an on deep chip. You know, like instead of a regular tortilla chip. Like a joe Allen. You can get it on deep chip. Oh, welcome.

Yeah, delicious. Interesting. Um, I watched Rhode Island Housewives. Oh, you did. Jordan and I were texting, yeah.

And I think it is a blockbuster show. I am somewhat of even saying. It's great. Jordan, did you watch too? I watched the first two episodes.

I said before. And I want to build them up. I think this is a good group. It's a great group. You can see the dynamics of kind of like the older cows.

How about the younger cows? Yes. Alicia is so funny. She likes crackers. I'm still learning everybody.

I mean, like that's hard to learn. How's was across the board?

Have always taken a long time.

“Like I still sometimes like, who's Lisa Barlow, who's Meredith?”

Like sometimes they just blend together. Yes. And this one, especially they all look the same. They're also like all Asian, all black, all white, all the time.

Because they all have this surgery.

They look great, though. But I don't know what they are. But I don't know what they are. Look alike. And Liz and Dolores.

Liz and Dolores are like twins. Well, they have a sandwich. And Liz looks like Casey Rose Wilson.

“And Kelsey and Rosie look exactly alike.”

Yeah. But it is very... Normally that's a deterrent. But I'm into it. And I'm interested in learning more.

And Ashley, I, who is from the Bachelor Nation universe, is on it. With her husband, which is, I find very funny. That was my sweet spot. I love it. She's very nice.

She's watching Ashley, I and Jared. Really nice. And I love her. Yeah. That was like the only time I watched that show was them.

And their relationship is funny. And I feel like she doesn't really tell the real story on housewives of their relation. Oh, you kind of... That she chased him for years. Oh, no.

She chased with him. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. He was like dating other people. And he wasn't interested.

And then they finally met up together.

And I have kids that they're happily ever after. I don't know that. Yeah. Okay. But it's good.

Very interest. A lot of drama. Okay. Good morning, everybody. I'm Andy Cohen.

With John Hell, hey John. Good morning. It's springtime in New York.

“There's a... there's a... there's a... I don't know.”

Something in the air. It's good. Spring in your stuff. Well, I was gonna say spring in my stuff, but I gotta tell you something. You know what, Ben Cohen, and I have been doing.

Since springtime. Skipping. We have been skipping together. Okay. Down the street.

I'm about to make a gayer. Holding hands. Well, that's not gay. That's just sweet. That's sweet.

I think. It's good. I was thinking is actually wonderful exercise. There's these... like body builders who are like, hey, get to skip in on the treadmill. Guess what?

He... it was his parent teacher conference the other day last week. He had a half day, and he came with me to the gym. And on the way to the gym, he goes daddy. This is how it started. He goes daddy.

Let's skip. And I said, okay, I go, let's skip together. Because you'll skip with me. I go, yeah. I go, you know, we have to hold hands.

He goes, yeah, of course. And like, we held hands. And we were skipping. I mean, we got there quicker. We had to... by the way, we would skip for a block.

He's like, okay, daddy. Like, I need a break, hold on. And then we would skip again. It was really good.

And I wonder who the first human is who invented skipping.

Me too. Can you imagine some caveman? Like, oh, wait, I just... I think it was Britney Spears. I just invented something.

Yeah. It's like, trotting, you know, horses can run. They can awesome that in-between little skipy skip. Yeah, it's like a trot. Little trotty trotty.

I had the trotts last night. Oh, God. That's disgusting. I'm going to the dentist today. Oh, no!

I'm trying to figure out a little... Just for a little chain cleaning. Yeah, just polish up those new veneres. Oh, wait, you know, we influenced... We were very influential.

Yeah. We influenced Mark Shaman to get his ears waxed at European wax center. See, said it was following an arm. Yeah.

“That's how that's the power of you and I.”

Jordan, you have some information. Oh, I just googled the history of skipping and apparently, Egyptians invented it. Oh, that was a scholarship. Yeah, the athletes as part of their conditioning routines.

Oh, my God. Or maybe the Aborigines of Australia. The history is a little dicey. But it's been around since the 1600 BC. What they've done is reading about Iran's role that they played

in the invention of chess. They invented the concept of checkmate. Well, hopefully they're not going to checkmate the US military. Yeah, right. You know, I would say that's ironic.

To count them out. You know what I mean? They literally invented the act of John Spitzfax. Oh, verify that. Anyway, if you see a grey herald man and little boy

skipping down the street, make room, make way. You know? Yeah. Anyway, God, by the way, I forgot to say, another thing that happened that night with those southern charm boys,

Austin pointed out that he and I kind of have the same voice. We both have the same like vocal fry, which is not good, not great. No. You know what I'm saying?

It's not amazing. Jordan? I mean, it's not nothing, but that does explain why you sound just like when you go mass in.

That's what he was saying.

“He was like, you know, because you kind of sound like yourself when you say,”

"Madison." Yeah. It comes to you too easily. I'm not doing anything when I say that. "Madison."

"Madison." "Madison." That's just me. Yeah. Oh, God.

Not that. Maybe I'll talk to my deemtiest. I showed...

I showed S.J. my new veneers at dinner the other night, Sunday night.

She gave them a good review. So, there you go. She hadn't seen him yet. I don't know that we had marked them in our... She had seen them.

Yeah. She hasn't done a close examination of that. I don't know. Yeah. So, I take...

Look. As we get older, the amount of pills we take on the daily... What are your supplements? Increases. So, I now take...

This is not amazing. I'm going to take you through my pills that I take. Okay. I'm going to have opinions.

“And they say you should not be taking as much as the world would like you to believe,”

because I'm trying to sell you one's stuff. Okay. So, I take... New in the last year. I take something from my cholesterol.

It's like a... Salt pill. Dr. Prescribed? Dr. Prescribed? Everything's Dr. Prescribed.

So, I take that. I take... So, that's a morning pill. I take... I cannot believe I'm taking you through my...

Oh, no. This is my kind of thing. Okay. So, I take that. I take...

...a prep. Scovey, which is anti-HIV medication that most many gay men in America take, that is prevents HIV. If you come in contact with it, it is a shield for HIV and many would say it is the wonder drug that the gay community and beyond was wanting for years. Now, by the way, there are

efforts within the current administration to make this drug not covered by insurance companies in order just to punish fuck with and punish the gay community. So that's a whole other competition because it's also a global domino effect because it's not just gay men, it's women, it's anybody, yes, exactly. So just so I take those two, we should switch to aperture though.

Okay, well, that's another conversation. So I take those two things and then twice, this is my morning pills. And then twice a day, I take a vitamin D pill because my blood test have shown that I need more vitamin D, my doctor said, so I take those vitamin D supplements one and so that's in the morning at night before bed, I take propisa, which is to freeze the hair on your head, but then I've noticed as full and gorgeous of a sometic head of hair

that I have. There are pockets of there are some pockets that I'm not comfortable with. So my dermo, my hot dermo, who I ran into in the wild at the Whitney on Sunday, and I met his wife and I introduced myself to her as your husband's favorite patient. Well neither she nor her husband was used by that characterization. I was like, oh okay, anyway, that's a side note. He just prescribed me monoxidil. I'm on that too, after my hair transplant.

So you know, monoxidil causes hair loss for the first six weeks, and the hair that you are losing are the weak hairs, and then stronger hairs grow in. Yeah. I love it. Did you notice the first six weeks that you took it? Well, I'm not just saying that looking back at the photos,

“it was, I remember going like, oh damn, I'm glad I had that hair transplant because it's”

choppy for a while. This medoxidil, I'm noticing, I'm like, oh wow, like it's definitely stick with it. It's worth me of that. I asked Claude about it, my new AI buddy, and all good all normal. And then I take my evening vitamin D, but that is a total of six pills. You're

missing one huge one. Hold on. I bought a year ago. One of those plastic things that I never

Saturday, Sunday, pill container that I've only seen, the elderly, and my parents use. And on

Sundays, I spent five minutes dispersing through my little pills, and I fill up my container, because by the way, I'm often leaving town for a night or whatever I like to know. Now, it comes to be, it comes to pass that my little kitty cat Larry aka Lucy Cohen is often in my bathroom at my feet watching me either when I am dispersing the pills on a Sunday, or when I am

“taking some. And she always has so many questions about me. Are you taking your pills, Daddy?”

Are you taking your medicine? What is it taste like? Did you take it? Yeah, whatever. And it's so cute. And yesterday, she was watching me because I was doing it late. She was watching me fill up the

container. And the entire reason that I am saying this is that I think that I always kind of

looked at my parents, and all of their pill containers, and felt, I don't know if I judged them, but I just was like, oh boy, you know, they're old, like they have to take a lot of pills. But I have to say, I have noticed that I don't know if I take pride in my pills, but I want to say that I feel good about why I take each of my pills, and they are all talk to recommended. And

“I feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now in my life. I like my pill container. That's”

what I'm trying to say. Yeah, that's exactly that you shouldn't feel any other way, but that that's

right. Self-care. I take, I just want to my highlights of my day every night. I set them out for the

night. I set them out for the morning so they're ready. And so do you have one of those pills containers? I was influenced on Instagram to get like a brutalist, chic, sleek container that shit didn't forget it. You either need, I don't, I take all the ones you take plus a few. The big one being omega threes, which you really need. Those are taking. Yes, that is true. That's the big one. That's from brain health. And for everything. You take a lot of that. Oh wow. Okay.

And those are big, so they don't fit in those things. So I have, I'm just gonna bigger one. Right. Well, I just have a top wear container and I just dump everything in there and then you need a knife. Yeah. Okay. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. I use to travel with it when I took a few less pills. Right. Because I added vitamin D. What I used to do is, I used to have this silver, beautiful silver tray, which is still there on my counter. And I would just dump them on the silver

tray. And in the morning, I would just pick out the pills that I had. I have a pair. I have a set of pottery barn measuring cups that I don't use. And they're like, you just want this one size. Yeah. Okay. And the night time goes to the big ones. I can put that in the cupboard and then the next one. Anyway, I also take silas every morning for hair stimulation. That is bullshit. It's not. What? Yeah. And are you walking around, break up all day? With silas, it's more of an optional

thing. Like if I happen to be coming erect, then that's that. But, you know, Viagra makes you erect without kind of, you kind of can't help it. I can tell us to be more mild. And it's more for circulation. Interesting. Well, that's interesting. Okay. Um, well, I, I just want to say, I have embraced my

“pill container. And I like it. So you're, you feel fine about the pills I'm taking. Absolutely. You should”

be taking more. Okay. All right. Okay. Um, actually, it may need to go get a new one, because I think my Thursday won't shut all the way for some reason. And those vitamin D pills are big. So they're kind of, I have a wee little thing. So, um, I've been, I don't want to move to a bigger size, because it then feels like I am that elderly. And I do like to travel with this thing. Anyway, it helps you, it helps you. I love how clueless children are about the day that we

often, you know, like Ben will be like, is it the weekend? Like they're, they're like, so now Ben

to him. It's bad. But Lucy Larry is often like, she is in the clouds, that girl. She's also in the

cloud. I mean, she'll walk into a lamp post. I mean, she does not look where she is going. I kind of worry for this girl. She's not even looking at her phones. She's not looking at nothing. She is not looking at shit. You know what? She's looking at the pavement as it hits her face, because she's not going in the direction. Like, I'm like, I cannot, she didn't get a milk shake at Bustop Cafe the other night, because she stepped out into the street. And I say to her, I'm like,

Lucy, look both ways. She's like, okay, daddy, and she kind of pats me on the head. I'm like,

don't cuddle me. Like, you're, this is, this is bad. This is bad. Anyway, I have no update on Lucy's birthday

party. Darren was looking for Cat Cafe's. I'm now, we were at a birthday party at Chelsea Pierce, you know, yet another birthday party at Chelsea Pierce, the amount of time that I spent at Chelsea Pierce is next level. Ben's like, oh, we're going back to a heated there. I go, Ben, you live there. Like, you wanted to set me up with one of your coaches. By the way, we're at this birthday party, and I was born. I go, Ben, you all, you all might recall that one night before a bedtime

“bed was like, did I tell this? That he was like, hey, I know who you should date. He goes, there's this really cool”

coach that coaches gymnastics at Chelsea Pierce. He goes, I'm telling you, daddy, he's so handsome,

but he's really cool. Like, he's so cool. You would love him. I go, well, Ben, I don't even know if he likes boys. And I think he's too young. He's like, I'm going to, I'm going to find out, daddy. I'm like, I'm in love with my gymnastics teacher. You have a gymnastics teacher? Yeah. What? You won't give me this. No, you don't. I do. What, you take gymnastics like a little eight year old? Yeah. No, you don't. It's not, I mean, I don't know if it's like an eight year old,

but it's at my gym. John, what is the class called? Gymnastics. What? Why are you also freaked out? What do you do? I mean, do you do like, you have to be bouncy house? No, you learn to do muscle. Ring muscle loves walk on your hand. Wow, can you walk on your hands? No, I'm not good at it. I know what your eight feet tall. It's hard. Yeah. Are you doing any tumbling on a mat?

“Not a lot. No, not like that. Yeah, that's what Lucy and Ben do. They tumble.”

Um, complicated. See, look right there. See that. What does that say? Gymnastics. Yeah. Okay. Um, yeah. So, you know, I made you a birthday party. You know what? I made just get a freaking room in a boom box and say, yeah, I'm putting on K-pop. You kids dance. You know, I don't know. But it's coming up. I need to figure it out. These parents are so organized. Um, and I'm not. But Ben, I was

meeting them at a birthday party the other day and the babysitter text said and said they're both refusing to participate. That one at Chelsea Pierce. I go, you tell them that if they don't participate, I'm not coming to the party. Like, I'm, I'm not participating if they don't. She was like, "Ooh, that worked." She goes, he's in the bouncy house and she's on a tricycle. I'm like, "Oh, yes, it did." So that was good. Um, I also don't know what we're doing for spring break.

Jordan, what are you doing for your spring break with your children? I'm actually hosting my

“sister's family for spring break. In New Jersey? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did I live in Wisconsin?”

They live in Denver. Oh, right. So they're coming. Um, so I'm hosting. How many of them? How many children? Two kids. Do your kids know their kids? Yeah, they're, they all get along. It's great. Okay, well, that'll be fun. Everything will be, everything in your town will be more fun to do. 'Cause they're two visitors. Yeah, we might, we might do Lego land. Speaking of Lego land, we were talking about yesterday. Where's Lego land? There's one in, there's one in New York, actually.

So you wouldn't even have to go to San Diego, in Goshen. So we're Greg Meales. It's like an hour and a half from the city. Oh, my God. If you can't do that, just find like a, uh, a beehive and hit it with a stick. Yeah, there you go. Kids love that. It's been around. Um, I am thinking of doing a little

and then the whole following week. So it winds up being like 10 days. So I'm thinking of going to

Aspen for like five days at the very end of the ski season and just getting them like kitty lessons. Aspen's fun even if you're not skiing. Oh, I agree. As you know, as we know. Yeah. And then

“straight from Aspen to like Miami or somewhere hot. That's what I'm thinking of doing.”

Any thoughts? Posh had mentioned wanting you to come to Miami over Easter. Yes. Oh, my God. This is huge. I think that my cataract surgery is now happening in March. That is this we're in March. Great on the 19th because I cleared my calendar. Oh, this is great. I

guess he's not going to Dubai. That handsome guy. Oh, yeah. Don't be going to Dubai. Right. Oh,

this is big news. Okay. Let's see if I can get my badge and overdue of a nation surgery. Then I spoiler alert. We did have an email in the mail bag. But why you're texting about it? Someone did say ask the doctor, the eye doctor, how soon after surgery you can fly. Yeah, it's true.

“Okay. Because I think there is a time here and I think if you fly too early, you're like really”

do see damage to your eyes. Wow. That's next week. Okay. I don't. Oh, I have a flight. Yeah, definitely ask. I have a flight a week later. A week might be okay. But just make sure

like I know I know some tragedy that has happened. Yeah, because there's has to do. I know

one part of it is like blood thinners and altitude. Like I know someone who had broken their legs. And then flew too quickly. And like they have to end if you are going to travel, they have to give you maybe special medication. Do either feel in your blood. Yeah, because things happen to your body when you're flying. Just be very upfront with them and clear about when you'd

“like to travel and can you. Okay. Back with more from this week's Daddy Diaries after this.”

Wednesday, March 11th, 2021, 2016. Good morning. Girl, you rolled in about one minute ago. You know what? The F-Train was a little slow today. And the elevators here at the Series X and building. There was something just when the vibe is off. I can't believe it. You said that. I forgot my ID again. I can't find it. And so I went to the desk. And you know, now I have my little wallet slip. So I carry my ID everywhere with me as you taught me to do last year. And I got a

temp, you know, I got a visitor pass. And I'm walking to the elevator bank. And this girl came up. She goes, "Are you Andy Cohen?" I go, "Yeah. She goes, "Oh my God. Like she was excited." She goes, "Can I have a selfie?" I go, "Yeah." And she goes, "Wait. Do you broadcast from here? I go, yeah." And she goes, "Well, then why do you have a visitor pass if you broadcast from here?" I go, "Just long story." Don't worry about it. We take this selfie and she spills my T over me.

And then she goes, "Oh my God. Wait. I'll get an app. Can I go? This is where it's at." I would have slapped. So then I go and I get in the thing, get in the elevator and it's not going to 36. And then I get out at 32. You press 36. You've got to go all the way back down. Yes, tonight. That's tonight. This bitch had to go all the way back down. And then I had to go all the way back up. That's so. And when it says access tonight, I have texted Jordan been like, "Well, I'm stuck.

I can't get up." But if you go all the way back down, you can get back up. And then of course I was running late and there was old bitch with a cane and I'm just like, "Oh my God. I'm not able to. But I just like, you know, it's hard to maneuver." No, it sounds like you are. I mean, Ben was doing his old man routine. It's cool today. He was like, "I'm an old man. I'm an old man." I don't like Ben. And he's like, "Wow." And then he's like, "I'm pop because my dad is old."

This is all how they processed. I know exactly. And I was like, "Okay, play it out." And then he was like, "And now I'm Ma. Get over here." He's like, "You know, because Ma's really bossy." I'm like, "Okay." Well, listen. He's got the vibe. What can I say?

Yeah, exactly. It is springtime, you guys. I gotta tell you something.

“Aren't you so happy? I mean, it hasn't changed. Yes, everything. Yes. Jordan, are you objectively”

happier? So much happier. Yeah. Even Scott's. Scott's got more than I am thrilled. I am ecstatic. Oh, couldn't be happier. Okay. Well, that was too long. That was a little bellary cherish. I got it. That was crazy. It was in all sincerity. No, I am really happy that the weather's gotten nicer. Um, good. Well, me too. I mean, it's just, it's just a game changer. I mean, Ben came home yesterday. I was out on the terrace doing a zoom.

At first of all, just to be on the terrace doing a zoom. And he runs out. He goes, "Daddy,

I have the best day of my life." I'm like, "Ahh!" Yeah. Wow. I mean, I have to put my AC on. Last night, I had to do the one leg out of the computer. Move. Oh, yeah, John and I are big. One leg out. Feed out. Well, guess what? I did last. Well, last night, I had a very long night at what you would have been alive. And it ended with, I had them pour me a motion for the live show. Well, I woke up. I don't real good. And I got a roadie. And I came home. I really can't

unhere the fact that I sound like Austin Crawl at this point. Like Madison,

“Chef, you just don't crack. I mean, that's what I sound like now. Um, anyway, I dream.”

Anyway, so I went home. And I mean, you can tell because I posted a little tipsy, tipsy Instagram story from my terrace thanking the W Hotel for damning that like,

because it's still damn. But I mean, it's just a game changer. I slept. I have two doors in my bedroom.

These two gorgeous glass doors that lead out to my terrace. I slept with my doors wide. It was nice. It was just, I have one window. Do you think that, do you think that dust comes in? Yes. In the night? Yes. Really? You live in a polluted hellhole. Okay. But I'm like 18 stories up. Sweet. It don't matter. Dust don't care. Dust don't care. Wow. Anyway, I mean, you're fine. You just keep her coming dust. Yes. I had a new housekeeper comment. It was wonderful. Oh, good.

Did you like her? Love her. I not to get personal, but did you fuck her? Well, I hired her from Bangamade. So I did. Of course. There are any part of you that thinks. I'd fuck her every time. Every time. Because it's like, you don't. Yes, I do. I mean,

“I think the people that I have had. I feel like there's a little open window. Like,”

there's a possibility. Like, if we both had shown interest, maybe. Scott, if you ever had a sexual feeling about your housekeeper, I don't have a housekeeper, but if I did probably. Okay. This lady is so chill and cool. Jordan, do you worry about your husband and your housekeeper? No, I'm curious what housekeeper's your hiring because anyone I've had or just like, nice like older gals. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not very lonely. I don't want to be my housekeeper now. You've dormant in my building that I'm like,

I'm taped out. Yeah, there's a, you have a couple of hot dormant. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't sleep on my dormant. Um, anyway. Yada, yada, yada, yada. Kyle was unwatched up and survived last night. Kyle cook. That was interesting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He, Danny Peligrino was on. He was like, he was a good copilot. He was like, did you do this? Did you do that? It was a good episode. I'm up to date on Summerhouse. It's good. And I watched ladies of London. Oh, man. I knew it was going to be good because

some of my bitchiest friends who hate everything out of the blue were like, are you watching ladies and men? It's really good. I watched both episodes and I have to say I paid attention to 90% of it, which for me watching it. That's true. It's huge. We have a ladies of London surprise tomorrow and I don't watch what happens live. Just, you know, bangers in mash. Bang, no. I mean, some of the cast members. You know, I'm very in. Yeah. I'm very, very, very in. Yes. Between that and Rhode Island,

like you guys. Bravo is really entering a new era. I agree. Yeah. I agree. It's big. It's big. Have you seen ladies of London? Let Jordan? Yes, I have. And I like it. I was a really big ladies of original ladies of London fans, so I sort of miss my old girls, but I really like this new

kidch factor with the original one that is part of why John and I loved, like game of crown,

we sort of like a little bit of that and like the music was so funny. So this is so legit. This is very legit. And Lady Emma, who has long-lead the manner with like the zoo, the largest. She's the only African-American royal. Yes, dignitary. So let me tell you that I was at, uh, I was in the Bahamas last year. And there, and, uh, there's this gorgeous woman of color in a bikini who was so hot. And me and my friends were like, who is this hot woman? Like, we were just talking about her.

She had us a buzz. We just were paying attention to her. So on day two or three of our trip, she came up to me and she said, I just want to introduce herself. She said, I may be on a bravo show. Now, the amount of people that come up to me and say that and usually they're totally full of

shit or they're trying to get on a bravo show or casting reach out once for a show that never happened

or it just so I was like, okay, and she's like, my name is Lady Emma and or she probably didn't say later. She was like, I'm Emma, I this. Ladies of London, I text bravo and they're like, wait a minute. My phone lights up. They're like, she hasn't signed her deal. We love her. Lock it in. Please, if there's anything you can do it, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make this my mission. And I was like, I DM her, I go, we need to talk. This is a very good idea. So we, I would like to think that I

help close that deal. Yeah, you see. And there she is and I just think she is so impressive. I love her.

“There's a lot of people when I was going to mention Jordan, I think the reason I like wrote”

Island so much is because it reminds me of Game of Thrones. Yeah. So we had a little incident at Watch What Happens Live last night or two days ago, I get a text from my PA Nelson saying, would you like a shirt that the Watch What Happens Live softball team will be wearing? What? And if so, what size? There's a softball team. And I said, how interesting that you're asking me, if I would like a shirt for the softball team, as opposed to asking me if I want to play.

Yeah, what is the softball team? Who do they play? Are like, good morning America. They play Saturday Night Live. That's good morning America. Sesame Street, Seth Meyer was fun all the New York shows. So he was like, oh, yeah, I don't really know the backstory. So I go in yesterday and we're like rehearsing in the cathedral room and I say to Rocco who's like the resident, jock, whatever I go, do you think that I am so bad at softball that you

wouldn't even consider asking me to play for the team that would not exist. Where it not for I and I whose name is going to be on the jerseys of the team. And he's like, it wasn't me. It was someone else. Maybe they thought you wouldn't want to be on it. Not that you were bad. There's a long history of me not being asked to anticipate. I wouldn't think you would remember this. Yes,

“well, it's come up before even here. I think because people assume you won't want to do that. So they”

don't ask me. I would like you or Ben, your time playing ball on the way. There would be I would see online that, oh, watch what happens. They all volunteered somewhere at a footbank and I'll text your drama. I'm like, hey, yo, thanks for asking me. I would like to be included in Daredevil be like, oh my god, my dad, my bad, not my dad. But Daredevil, by the way, has become

I'm the first person she now goes to and says we're thinking about doing this. Can we work around

your schedule for a date? Whatever. Anyway, we're good. But so I was like, so then the person in question comes in the control room. And he's like, I'm really sorry. I get any felt that he was too

“nervous to ask me if I wanted to be a part. And I said, well, all you have to do is ask Dare and”

and she'll give it to you straight or she'll say to me, do you want to do this or whatever? And FY, well, now that I come to find out that there are too many people on the staff who want to play,

But I said, guess what? Not only am I playing. I won't be there on the first game.

We are playing Saturday night live in the season opener. And it's on the great lawn in Central Park. How fun does that sound? It like it sounds like something you would think was fun. Here's a deal. I don't like baseball. And Dare and now has put all the games in my schedule in my calendar. And I don't know that I'll be at all the games and everyone needs to have an opportunity. But I think it'll be fun to show up at least for the first game. I did the Broadway league with

hairspray. Yes. I mean, yeah. Okay. Exactly. So like I'll be there. We'll see. I mean, Nick Rizzo's playing. I'm sure that he and I have similar I hand coordination issues. But like you're

“going to get dikes on that team because that's how you're going to win. We don't have it. Well, we should”

see if Dare and we'll play. You need to get some less beans up in that team. That's come on. You can't just be you and Nick Rizzo. You're going to lose. No, I know. Tell me about it. But um, yeah. So stay tuned. Watch what happens live. Instagram. Watch what happens live. Softball team. I mean, oh, and then they all wake. And then they came in and someone came in and said, hey, I just want to run the jerseys by you and see if you like this design. I'm like, okay, now you guys are over

constantly. Like, you know, I don't like it looks fine. But I mean, you know, then I was like, everyone is so terrified of me that you can't ask me to be on the team. I mean, I mean, I mean, wow, maybe I should go to therapy. Maybe the Series XM crew can have a Frisbee team or a hacky sat crew.

“Well, alternate Frisbee team. All of you about a group of people being vulnerable at baseball,”

the the radio. Hey, now. I mean, I'm not an ableist, but we get into this special Olympics. Yes, you're great. Yes, the special league. The radio league. Radio people. Clean out. Now something participation trove. Something caught my eye on page six today. And that is that, um, apparently, and I was like, this is the only story I care about. There was a private screening for like 30 or 60 or 70 members of the Jackson family

of the Michael Jackson movie. Did you read that? A brawl broke out between Janet and Germaine. The movie ended. This was all going crazy. Saying, oh, it's so good.

Janet stood up and was basically, oh, no, this is not good. All this stuff. Now it's

Germaine's son, Jeffar, who stars in the movie. I mean, can I say after that trailer, I thought,

“yeah, I will, I would, I would stand up and say this is not good, too. Oh, really? I think it”

looks terrible. This is going to be interesting, but Janet, and then Germaine told Janet, stop with your jealousy, Janet. Oh, like, no, where was this? Like at the Glendale Galleria? No, I think it was probably in some screening room for the studio, but I want to know who's the leaky, who's the leaky one on the Jackson squad. This will be great for the movie. You think it's great press. Yeah. Now we're talking about it. I don't think Janet

hating the movie is good for the movie. It's all too. Well, I don't think it's love Janet. People do love Janet. I'm on Janet side, just after the trailer. Right. I thought, absolutely not very interesting. It was kind of like, don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining. Vibes, I don't know. Like, what are you trying to sell me? It looks like a, I don't know. What are you looking at me like that? You're tits. What are your tits? Oh, they look good. Yeah.

Just for the record, I have never wanted to bang my maid, but I like, oh, but there was a, oh, well,

there was, oh, why? I don't think I can tell this story. I'm not going to tell it. I had a task rabbit come over one time in Brooklyn and he was like a young, cute man just doing like a side hustle. And first of all, the worst housekeeper in the world, like, could barely operate a broom. And, and I was seeing was he a good cusser. I did not, he was not my type. Well, let me just say that what I will say is this, there was a gender and 30 rock in the

day that I had a heavy flirt going with. And he was a married Dominican guy, married to a woman. And when nothing happened, but it was, it was intense. When were he is now? I wonder too. He used

trash can empty out, mop it up. Oh, yeah. Anyway, I don't know, that's a hot fantasy. Honestly,

it is uniform. Have you ever hooked up with a cab driver? You know, I never have in all these

years. Yeah, I know a lot of friends do you have. Yeah, I got an uncommon. Have you hooked up with an Uber driver? I've had offers. Yeah. Oh, I've, I have put it out there like not, not, not, not so direct. Let me say this. I've flirted with Uber drivers, especially in LA. They're like, yeah, young musicians, you know actors, whatever. I mean, there. Yeah, side hustle. Side hustle is right. Wow. Anyway, you know what the problem is? The longer you're on the radio, the more you say.

“I was thinking of the same thing. Like every now and then you have to check yourself, like, who?”

What are you putting out here to be documents? It's true. Yeah, and I've got family listening.

My sister listens every day. I think you're doing fine. Okay. Janitor, custodian, just a little flirt. Yeah. Anyway. Thursday, March 12, 2016. Good morning, everybody. I'm Andy Cohen in New York City. We are leaking out. You know, here's the deal, John. It was nice this morning, but it's going get real cold. How cold? It's going to go down to 34. That's not that bad. I know. I put my big

heavy coats in the night. That cloth. I had my outdoor shower reinstalled yesterday. Reinstalled.

Well, we shut it down for the turn off the water. Yeah. We, yes. Now, my guy said there's a problem with the shower. I have something to pitch to you. Okay. I feel like as a group effort,

“we should we should listen to Liza Manelli's autobiography. Oh, that's interesting. I think it's the”

spring time. It's the time. Mama. We just make selects. Wait, Mama. Just discuss it. I just think it's on brand for us, right? I think that's probably. We did Barbara. We sort of did share it. It's time to do Liza. John, and you know what else? Yeah. Yeah. I think that is a really great idea. You know, let's do it. When does it come out? It, yes, today. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, great. Okay. I've already got it loaded. Oh, really? Good. Because I am flying to Los Angeles today for the Beverly Hills Housewives

for you. I think if we play our, uh, jazzy cards, right? I think we could get her ass in the studio talking. Oh, it's not going to happen. No, Anthony's been working on it. It's a whole thing. Yeah. That's, it's not going to happen. But I do love the, so are we starting, are we starting today? The book? Yeah. Everybody, everybody download it. Jump in. Great. All right. Okay. Fun book club. Yeah. That's great. Okay. Something to do. Yeah. Something to do. We had ship Craig and Austin

on Watch What Happens Live. Um, last night was so fun. We played a game where we had, we were like, it was a mystery ex-girlfriend. And so we had a board with like 15 of their

“ex-girlfriends all on the board. So one of these women is standing by on Skype. You have to say,”

yeah, ask yes or no questions. And then we will reveal who it is and we'll keep taking people off the board based on your answers. So the looks on there. I want to see a meme of the looks on their faces when I announced who the winners. I mean, who the winner, what the game was, they were terrified. It was so funny, it was so funny. Um, anyway, could you mention if we got page to do that? Who? Your page. Want to do this? Um, yeah, we didn't. Anyway, so good. That's a good game. That's a good

game. Tonight, I've got Jennifer Tilley and Janet DeWan in the clubhouse after ladies of London and Beverly Hills. And we've got a surprise doorbell from a few of the folks from ladies of London. We talked about that yesterday. He's one of them, the bird, heck of two, of heck of tea, the crow.

Kind of into the groter. I'm in a groter. You live in a garage. In a groter, yes. Right. A garage. What

“horses in a play? Gratt. Are you watching Beverly Hills this season? No, not really. Yeah, love it.”

I, I, here's what I like. I have seen parts. I haven't seen, I'm not up to date. I'm loving

Rachel's out. Rachel's so is so good. She's amazing. Amanda is annoying the other women. I know. So much that I love. They're like, they're just, they're so annoyed. No, she's great. She's like, she's the, he is the doorbell. Beverly Hills housewives. I have found it to be a real, easy breezy season. And I'm really engaged in this reunion, which is tomorrow in Los Angeles. So I'll be doing that. And then I am flying early early Sunday morning to Austin, Texas,

where I am a keynote at South by Southwest on Austin. And there was, um, and then I'm doing

a smaller Q&A in the afternoon with Francis Barric tomorrow. Bravo is going to announce something relating to me that is pretty cool. I'm going to be talking about that. It's out by Southwest. And the 20 years of housewives, you know, only fans channel, my new only fans channel. And it's going to be, um, so I'm really excited about that. I wish that I could stay longer. I will be flying out of Austin Sunday night. I land at like midnight. Um, and then I will be back here on the radio

you on Monday next month. Next week is a absolutely psycho Monday Tuesday Wednesday. Then you have your eyes or your eyes surgery Thursday. Monday Tuesday Wednesday. I am not only gang shooting, watch what happens. I have in the radio, but I'm hosting a week of the Kelly Clarkson show. So I'm doing all of that in three days. And then I will be down for the count, um, with my eyes. Um, so now I had dinner at Mark and Kelly's the other night. We had our little rain date for the

“dinner. Yeah, I messed up recently. And I got to tell you something. I think they were ready for”

me to leave. Oh, I was there. I got there at 645 at 830. Yes, that's time to go. I started giving myself another splash of tequila. No, you got to get out of there. And they were not drinking. Yeah, they were. I'm sitting there listening me like what night of the week was this? Two Monday. Oh, I had the school night. You got to get a bit four. I had not seen them in so long that I was like, oh, no, we have so much to talk about like next time.

Yeah, I got, I got, I got more to say. And I was like, what about this? What about that? And how did you tell a graphic to you to live? Both of his hands were on the table. Like he was about to push himself up and be done. And then I was like, okay, I'm going to go and he's like, okay, dude,

yep, he will never. He's going to be like, no, we loved it. We love both things can be true. He

loved it and he loved it when you left. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, you know what, at least I was, I knew at the

“time. I was like, oh, I think I think works ready. It was, see, Kelly could have gone on with the”

Kelly could have been like, yeah, let's go to the other room. She's very easy, very easy. But then maybe he would have heard about it after I left. Like, wow, and he, you know, um, now still fishing around for Lucy's birthday. We did call Dylan's candy bar and they have closed their flagship store. They will do a birthday party. They have a partnership with like some hotel and they'll set up a birthday party for you in a hotel. Oh, no. And I was like, that seems weird. Love them, but it seems weird. So

now there is this cat cafe in Brooklyn. Yeah. And they have a kitty room that four kids at a time can go in the kitty room. I want to go. And they do arts and crafts, cat arts and crafts. And so I was

sitting there with Ben and Lucy this morning. I now have lost back him and to Ben. The remortings

in a row. He is starting to play so much smarter. Like, he's been playing real dumb and leaving guys out. And I'm now somehow he's like covering his men and doing what he's supposed to and I'm like and I keep saying, Ben, that was a very smart move. And when I give him that reinforcement, his little face really lights up. Like it is so sweet. So I said to them, I go Lucy, like,

“what if we added your party at a cat cafe? And they were like, Daddy, what are you talking about?”

I go like a cafe and there's like, kitty's that you can pack. They go real cats. I said, yeah.

And Ben goes, but then you couldn't come because you'll die because you're allergic. I go, it's a thing. No, I go look. It's not a fake out. I go, I think I could go for two hours. It'll be fine. You know, I said, and if I do well, maybe that's a sign that maybe it's not that bad. I don't know. We'll see. So Ben and I said, look, the goal is to get you guys a cat. I said, I would love to do that. And then Ben goes, you're telling me that I don't have to wait until you die to get a cat.

Now, and I'm like, oh my god, this is on his mind. So I said, well, you may or may not.

Yeah, it's a wait until I die. One thing at a time. If you react well to the hit, you can also get a hairless cat. I know. You know, like, I'm looking at the lab testicle. Can I just add in here? Sorry, I've been to this cat cafe before. It's great. I love this in Brooklyn in Brooklyn. Just go for fun. Yes, of course. I love cats. Okay. My wife is allergic to cats and we have a cat. She's fine. She just has take allergy medicine and she's fine with it. Wow. So there is a possibility. Yeah, if you could. I would really like a cat. You want, you need a cat.

“They'll eat your mice. Right. Yeah. I wonder how I think a cat would do fine on my terrace because yes.”

No, we're fine. Yes. I don't know about that. They can jump off. They jump high. Yeah, they jump high. They're going to jump off and jump off. Well, then that's not the cat. They're not going to jump off. They're not that smart. They could possibly fall off. But you know what, if one cat jumps off, you get another one. What does that cat do? Survival of the fast. Yeah. I think it's major. Feel it out. Are we workshopping cat names in the home? No, no, no, sure. Hold on, wait. We will let Lucy. I think the cat's going to have to be named Larry because that's that's

and it's also the cutest name for a cat, especially if it's a girl cat. I mean, it's so funny. It has to be named Larry, right? When, when are you going to make the decision about this

“party? Because I would like to go. Okay. I'm waiting. Darren is getting I asked Darren to find out”

what are the crafts? Because I just need to make sure if I slip or if I'd ask 20 plus kids from our whole nursery school to go to a cat cafe. I need to know what's happening. I need to know the run of show. Higher a clown. Yeah. Anyway. So that's happening. Now also at the meal with Mark and Kelly. I was marveling because their kids are so well-mannered. And I am very concerned that mine. I said to them, how did you train them to like look people in the eye when something

like you when you were staying in my building and you walked in. There were times that you would walk in and like Ben wouldn't really acknowledge you when you walked in or I would have to say Ben say hi to John. Look. Here's John. And as a parent, it's very annoying. What do you do, Jordan? I usually, I'll do like a prep. If I know where like seeing somebody or someone's coming, I will usually prep at least my older one to be like, when they come in, make sure you say hi. Look at them in the eye.

Also when we go out to eat, I also make him order for himself and make sure he gives I conduct and does that. So I just like make it look everywhere. I like that. So what we came up with with Mark and Kelly is I said, you know, what did you do? Whatever. So what we came up with was that I and I said it this

coming over tonight to make spaghetti and meatballs my old friends and they're going to make spaghetti

and meatballs with the kids. We're all going to make it together. And I said, when when they come over and from here on out, when someone enters this apartment or we see someone, you have a choice. You can walk up to them and shake their hand or you can walk up to them and give them a hug and it is your choice and that is it. And I said, Lucy, you are a baby. So you don't have to do this. And I was like demeaning to Lucy purposefully. I was like, you can't figure this out and it was really to empower

Ben that he's smart enough to be able to do it. And I did kind of put them against each other a little

bit. But it was that and she didn't care. She could have given a shot. But Ben was like empowered that

he was like, oh, okay, I can do this. But oh, okay, okay. And by the way, the nanny was like, I think Lucy could do it. I'm like, I'm not so sure. Like, shot up, just shot up, shot up. Anyway, my parents made me

“practice every week three times a week at church. That's how we got accustomed to greeting adults”

behaving properly. And we hated it. But it really did. And the my dad would reinforce in the way home. Like, well, this is why you do this. This is why you shake people's hands. This person has a bad handshake. That person has a bad handshake. You don't want to be like that person. This

person's annoying. Yeah. And it was just week after week of like training with that. Yes. Wow.

Okay. Well, I, uh, we'll see how this goes. You know. Oh, Lord. Okay. You have anything else you want to say. I feel like I've been just hammering. Oh, let's see. We covered lies. That was my big suggestion. Yes. Okay. Okay. I hope I like the book. Make it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What's your concern? Yeah. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I make it. I don't know. I help my interest level stays. Okay. Well, I mean, she's a part of show bit. I mean, she's a, no, entertainment industry, stalwart legend.

You know, she intersects a lot of different. Yes. I just want to hear about her talk about Mama. Yeah. She might talk about that. Yeah. I do hope it's, I mean, I hope it's good too. Yes. Yeah. Well, it's not half the length of Barbara's book. Perfect. Well, I mean, so I, well, I bet she doesn't do. She doesn't remember if she's probably lies on. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, Barbara, we're sure, remember. Day for day. Well, she lies is different. She's not, she's not, she does it.

She cares about, um, performing well and getting high. I think. And fucking part of the morning, you know what? It's very interesting. And this is why I'll be very interested when I, when I listen to this. There is part of me that wonders what her memories are at this point. And how much of them are like, Michael Finstein's manager and Pinestein's, you know, memories.

“Yeah. And like, I just, I think that's what I'm. Well, we're all like that. Unless you're”

documenting in a diary with photos every single day, your memories are not really the memories of the thing. They're the memories you had of remembering it after it happened. Right. Well, I, I think that's why I, like, I have no question that Barbara's book is like, and the thing is, I, I think shares was very well researched. Yeah. You know, it did just really happen the way I'm remembering it. Yeah. I just, yeah. So I'm almost even, I remember a memory. And then I realized,

I'm remembering the photograph I have of that memory, more than I'm remembering the actual thing that happened. Anyway, lies, lies, lies, lies. Well, I remember talking to David Gethin after Sandy Allen passed. And I was talking to him about a lot of Sandy stories. And his memories of the exact same stories are like totally different. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, this is interesting.

“You know, David Gethin's single now, right? Yeah. You interested? At this point. Yeah. But I think”

I'm too old and too white. Could be. Yeah. Okay. Um, let me ask you a question. If David Gethin said to you, yeah. Okay. I love you. I just, okay, you're going to be my boyfriend now. Okay. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Sometimes alone on this huge boat. Yeah. Sometimes, you know, we're just

“flitting around, but you're giving up your career and everything. Mm-hmm. And you just, you buy”

whatever. How old is he whenever? He's like in his early eighties. Seems to be in very good health.

And how often do I don't know? I don't know. I don't know. That's the real question. I don't,

“I don't know how I want to know. So, but I'm asking you, but giving up your job and all that stuff”

you would be fine with. Again, how, how, I mean, how old is he? I mean, I could give it up for 10 years.

I wouldn't want to give it up for the rest of my life, but I could give it up for 10 years.

“Okay. 15. Okay. If I could buy anything and be able to, I would, I would take time off.”

If I could buy anything. Okay. All right. Because like my job, my career, I can return to when I'm 65 and write a bunch of books. Okay. And there's a clause that you can't write about your relationship. I'll write about a fictional relationship. And there's a clause that you can't write about a fixed relationship. I'll write about I'll figure it out. Okay. Careful with your side. Anyway. That's all for this week's edition of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast.

To hear every minute of my geeky with John plus interviews news and more, you can listen to my series XM channel Radio Andy anytime on the series XM app. We'll see you right back here with more Daddy Diaries next week.