Bobby Falls in Love

but it's still a mistake. But no, not at all. It's my safe space. Do you think everything is safe? Yes, exactly.

It's the story of the story of the story which is simply different. The story of the studio, the job or the music. It's crazy. It doesn't feel like it's a story.

It's a story, isn't it? It's safe. With the story. Oh, this is Springwater. Yeah.

It's a beautiful springwater. It's a different story. It's a season thing.

You've never had winter water.

You've never had some winter water. No. Well, it's a winter water land now. Fallwater. Any of the seasons.

Spring is the only season I've drink. Which season? I've never had winter water. I've never had some winter water. No.

Well, it's a winter water land now. Fallwater. Any of the seasons? Spring is the only season I've drink. What season do you like the most?

Water-wise. Summer. Summer water. Summer water. Summer water.

Had the summer last. Yeah. Summer loving is on the rise. I'm telling you, you're getting so tuned up for this summer. Your body's going to be good.

Your brain's going to be good.

“I think you're going to get some summer love this summer.”

Oral good disease. Which one? The shaky one. Parkinson's. No.

No. That's not the shaky one. There's other shaky ones. What's the other shaky one? There isn't anymore.

Parkinson's is the only one. I feel like that's the main shaky one. Yeah. Shaking tremors. Give us a pull-up shaky diseases.

Multiple sclerosis. Man, say that five times. They can't. I want to do. I want to get a shaky disease.

And then have a time machine go down to the 70s. And go do our sole train. Yeah. I'll do sole train. I'll do sole train.

I've always wanted to do the line with a shaky disease.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Don't. Yeah. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Some people get a time machine. And they'll get, you know what I mean? I want to go see, you know what I mean? Me, George Washington. Not me to do it.

Shaking was shaky sole train. Shaking sole train. Yeah. Yeah. No.

That's not what I was saying. I love him. Michael J. I'm a big fan of you. The man.

Yeah. His Instagram handle is shaky sole train. Oddly enough. He's the man.

“He jokes about it all the time, which is so, you have to.”

Yeah. At some point, it sucks. It sucks. It sucks.

And then you got to joke about it.

You think Christopher Reeves resentful tort forces? Oh, he hated him. After that. I mean, I got hurt by it. It's like a glow.

If you got hurt by an animal, you've been hated for life. I thought that might not be true. I got bit by my buddy's dog. My buddy Adams dog when I was a kid. Yeah.

I deserved the bite. I came in the back sliding door stone at night trying to sneak in to be quiet and not wake up as mom. Dog bit me. Yeah. My fault.

I know Grillam Jenny. She has a big pit bomb scar on her face. Right. And then I go, can you dog set? Yeah.

I asked her. I said, no. Why, Jenny? Yeah, because they're little though. My dog's little.

You don't have big scary dog. They'll bite your ankle. Well, that's not true. Yeah. Hulio.

Hulio is a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. He will kill you. Yeah.

Hulio has that like. Yeah. But then you go, come on. Hulio. And then Hulu will calm down.

But if Hulio senses somethings up. Attack mode. Yeah. Attack mode.

“Do you think Wolverines and honey badgers get along?”

They're so similar. Yeah. That's what I was saying. I wonder who would win in a fight? That's, it does such a good question.

Who would win a honey badger or a Wolverine? Yeah. No. Who would win though? It says they do knock it along.

They hate each other. Yeah. You're highly notorious. I think a honey badger aren't they crazy? Yeah.

They didn't create it. I mean, the X man should have had, you know what I mean? Honey badger. Because honey doesn't sound threatening. I think that's what it is.

Yeah. Wolverine sounds good. But like honey badger. Yeah. Wolverine would most likely win according to AI over you.

Doing, due to it significantly larger size. Yeah. That's what it thought. Yeah. Size and strength.

Yeah. Offensive power. What about Tasmanian double? What is that a mix? Oh, yeah.

They're small. Oh, yeah. But they're crazy. They're crazy. The sound that they make isn't saying.

Have you ever heard it? Yes. Oh, it's insane. It's insane. And what you know why they'll win?

Let me see if I can do it. I'm hungry. Has Manian Bobby? Yeah. Can you do it again?

That's, you know the lore of the truth?

Why they're called Tasmanian Devils? But when people first came to that area, they were, they live in the woods at night. They heard that sound. Yeah.

It was the devil. It thought that was devil's eye. That is very true. Also, these things are crazy blind. They can't see shit.

But they're jaw. Look at the jaw strength of Tasmanian Devils. Look at that. They can bite through. I want to know how many pounds per square inch or something.

That's, that's my new come noise, by the way. Yeah.

Tasmanian Devils have an exceptionally powerful bite for their size.

They cited around 500 to 1200 pounds per square inch. What's the average human bite? What's a human bite? The human's bite force is 150 pounds per square inch. Wow.

The Tasmanian Devils. That's good. That's good or bad. It's 10 times us. It's area.

That's crazy. What is that? Alligators is 3700 pounds per square inch. Wow.

“That's why all those idiots in Florida are like,”

They love the threat. Yeah. I'm a good down there. I'm a wrestle that guy to see what happened. But here hippos are the ones you don't want to fuck with.

They're aggressive. They're aggressive. They're gigantic mouths. And they are very territory. Not only can they protect their babies.

If you see a hippo baby, run. Because they'll kill you. The mother will kill you. Yeah, they'll just kill you. What's the father doing?

Is he MIA? Yeah, he left. Go ahead. No, you go ahead. No, you go ahead.

You go ahead, you go ahead. I don't want it. Yeah, I don't want it either. Yeah. I'll be back getting the bread.

I'm going to get bread. I'll be back. Never comes back. Yeah. Well, they can swallow. They bite, you see them bite through stuff as nuts. Yeah.

You ever seen them bite through like a watermelon? Oh, shit. They can crack right through it. Fancy. Fancy.

Why'd you say watermelon?

Because I always see those hippos in watermelon.

I have all the vegetables. I see pumpkin. I always see video. No, no, no. There's always videos of hippos with watermelon.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And fried chicken. I knew it. I was waiting for it, dude.

I was waiting for it. Look at that. Oh, yeah. It is watermelon. Whoa.

That thing. Wow.

“Have you ever seen him feed him a carton of new ports?”

He'll do that. Oh, go right through it. It's crazy. That's so funny. Also hippos, there's a pink residue that comes out of their skin.

I don't know this. Do you know this? No. Yeah. There's a pink residue.

Wait, y'all big dirt. Yeah. Well, there's no joke. There's no joke. There's no joke.

There's a pink residue. No way. Yes.

I'm looking for the joke.

There's mine. There is no joke. There is a pink fact. Residue. Is there another residue?

Oh, he's right. hippos agreed to thick oily, reddish substance called blood sweat. Blood sweat. It's not tripped sweat. It's sunscreen.

Yes. Yes. Wow. Blood sweat. Yeah.

That's where it comes from. Blood sweat and tears. Tears. Yeah, I wonder what it is. Wow.

Wow, they secreted. It's a red substance. They do. It protects their son. Yes.

Skin from son and bacteria. Yeah. I thought about that. I didn't even know why I know that. I thought, fuck do I know that.

That's awesome. I love all the things. I love it. I just know that. What's in my dog today?

We took a dog on a walk today. And I thought, how weird that we're. Of all the species, like we're the ones that want to walk up right. That figured out walking upright was the move.

“Isn't that crazy that we were like, fuck this all for us?”

It's crazy. Yeah. I'm up here. I'm getting up. Well, how did we get up?

I have no idea. Like something must have taught us to get up. God. Excuse me. God.

Don't bring your Spanish fucking voodoo to this room. Human's walking upright because they offer key survival advantages. I know, but why did we, what other animals can get upright? They do. No, I mean banana.

Go on. What I'm saying is. They're up in the trees. Right. Yeah.

I get it. Yeah. Food is up high. It's food. Food's up there.

Yeah. Yeah. We didn't want ground food. We wanted high food. Yeah.

Is it right or not? I'm up with why. Brother, I love it. No. No.

No. No. No. What do you mean you love it? It's an, you come up with one man.

No. It's because we're up to. Why do you think vantage point attack down? Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Me big. Yeah. You're small.

What happened? Why did we stop climbing the trees though? Probably hurts. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like we've evolved. You think that we still, well, I probably Alex Hohnell does still. Arnold does. Yeah. Tell me about it.

Pist me off. Why does it piss you off? I just, yeah. Why is he doing that? It's crazy.

Yeah.

The guy's amazing. But you're like, what is this? Well, El Capitan is scary, though. No. He said this was fucking weird.

But I'll tell you why, because I saw it. Did you see it? I watched. Yeah. There are places where he would, you could fall.

Where, you know, because once you get to a certain section, he's climbing again. And he could have fell down to like the next level. I know. I mean, what is El Capitan? Once you fall, you're dead.

There's nothing saving you. This was a great PR stunt for Netflix. I mean, a hundred percent. And by the way, get paid. Good for him.

Yeah.

That second of his wife like waving out the window was the weirdest.

What do you think of that relationship? I mean, it seems like it's going up. Yeah. I don't know. It's strange because she, they talked about it.

Is this the same girl from the documentary? Yes. Where, where he says he's going to leave her. Yeah. You either stick around and I'm climbing or you can kick fucking rocks.

Yeah. And she was like, I'll stay. Yeah. I mean, good. They must genuinely love each other.

Yeah, maybe. You have two kids now. They do. Yeah. Where are they up at the top of that building?

There at the one center or whatever. And in Chechron. I wouldn't be able to watch as if I was a kid.

“Like if your dad was doing that, would you be the little one?”

No, it's crazy. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. By the way, this was in China, right? It was in Beijing.

Or where was it? Singapore. Oh, Singapore. Yeah. Great audience Asians though.

Oh. Every second. Every second. Oh. I don't get up.

Everything blows there. On the floors of the. Oh. With the cameras on. Yeah.

They were. They were. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy, it was, it was cool to see.

But like, you know, you knew he was going to do it. Yeah. You know, I kind of wanted to see him slip a little bit. And there's also a delay. You know, there's a delay.

Oh, yeah. There's no way. If he foul, there's no way. They'd show it. Well, because how quick can you snap a camera away?

Yeah. Because they're punched in. Those guys are. And the guys that were doing the cameras on the ropes. That was crazy too.

Yeah. Because they had to do, you know, I'd be a drone. Give me the drone. I'll fly that next to the guy. Like, if my partner wanted to do that, I would just be like, yeah, I'm not going

to be there. Okay, but, okay, let's make it more real. What if your partner's like, I love deep sea fishing. And I love deep sea diving. Okay.

And I like swimming down with sharks. Colliva. She did that. The whole relationship you were with. Yes, what?

What? I'm, at home. I'm not watching that. Yeah, I'm just, that's true. Yeah, yeah.

But you said good luck. But you, you know, you let them do it. You're just not going to go. Well, I did a couple of times with them. Those kind of activity.

“But that's a completely different than, though, I think.”

Well, it's just his life, right? And then because he's an expert at this, the chances of him falling are less likely than one of the girls getting bit in the ocean. You think so. 100%.

You guys don't agree with that? Think about this. Think for a second. This guy is a, is a flawless professional. Right?

He was never going to fall.

That's why they did it. Those girls getting the water. They have an element that they can't control. He controls this all this. They have animals that are, you're at their whim.

Yeah. They could just attack you for no reason. Yeah. This guy, he was never going to fall. There was no fucking way.

But they did change the day because it was raining. Well, yeah, because you'd slip. I mean, that's, that's man up. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't want to run the rain. You want to run the rain. Yeah. Pussy. Yeah.

Are you doing clean it up? The rain. Let's see. Let's see. If you can do it.

Get real L. Not win. Yeah. This guy's the man, though. He is, he is just, one of the greatest athletes of, in human history.

Did you see, speaking of great athletes? Did you see Sean White jumping over Gillis and O'Connor in Central Park? No. Sean, during the snow close in in New York, Sean White literally jumped over Gillis and O'Connor.

Like, look at this. He's just like, Oli's over them in the, it's in Central Park, right? Is that where it was? Yeah, on TMZ. How sick is that?

Wow. They're just chilling drinking bud lights and, and he's Oli hopping over these guys on us. Wow. I'd love to get hit in the head by that snowboard. Yeah.

Get paid, huh? Get a check from Burton. Wow. Wow. How cool is that?

Can we even say it or no? See what? About you doing tires? Oh yeah, I'm doing a couple of it, so it was a tires. Why, what?

Huge. No, I'm saying, I don't know if you're not. Then we talked about it. Or we did the whole script thing, you know what I mean? I think that did it.

We got you that role. Oh, on the episode. Yeah. You remember that? Yeah.

How many of you? I'm doing two, yeah. Awesome. What's your name, character's name? I don't know.

What did you want it to be?

“I think you should bring that to the table.”

I, I'd love to do that. I think you should just tell them what you want to play. You know, I've been thinking about it. Yeah. I'm a scene.

Does it matter? Your name? Yeah, yeah. I just don't like all that.

Every time I played something, it's always like a boring non-creative name.

I'm always Ken for some reason. Like, we know the reason. Yeah. What I played. I played gin a couple of times.

Ken, gin. Yeah. What else have I played? Dude, I finished all of Bert's show, by the way. You saw it?

The whole thing? It's awesome.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Yeah.

Everyone in it's funny. It's great. Chris Wattowski. Chris Wattowski. How am I saying it?

Yeah, yeah. Fantastic. It's so funny. Yeah. He's great.

Great guy. He kills it. Yeah. Great dude. It's a funny show, man.

You know what's the funny about Chicago, guys? You should call you guys. Help each other. Well, we like each other.

You know, but you guys always help each other.

San Diego guys don't do that. No. There's, there's not a lot. Well, there's a lot of Chicago guys.

“I think that's what it is acting in the comedy.”

Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? San Diego has a lot of famous people. Has Adam Driver never called you?

I'll be. I want you to do something with me. How do you feel about good soup? Nick Cannon is from San Diego. Yeah.

Dude. Ted Danson. You know, I need you to babysit from me, Bob. Guess what? Was that Nick Cannon?

Yeah. And you know, I need you to babysit from me, Bob. Yeah. Yeah, who else? Adam Brody.

Okay. That's good. I didn't know all these people were from there. I mean, that's a lot of Tom weights. Wow.

Wow. Tony Hawk. We know Tony. Yeah. Sean White, Bill Walden, Kendra Wilkinson, Tony Gwinge, and your sail.

Yeah. Christian. Interesting. I'm not even on that list. Where?

Where? You're right there. Bobby Lee. Oh, yeah. What does it say comedian?

Nick Cannon. Dude, this is this list. It's a pretty good list. Yeah. Cameron Diaz, we skipped over.

I thought she was from Long Beach. She is. Yeah. I know. She was born in San Diego, but my school.

Yeah. Robin Wright. Penn. Yeah. With the Lawyer school.

Is it not? Oh, they got divorced? Yeah. He was so good in that movie. They got to divorce.

Yeah. You know, I had dinner with her one time. Robin Wright. Yeah. I was in Michigan.

Yeah. Right. A couple of scenes in a movie. And the producer of the movie was dating her. Whoa.

So, um, I had to produce like, I have dinner. You know what I mean? So I show up and she was at the dinner. Was he a good-looking guy in the producer? Pretty good-looking, yeah.

Yeah. Because sometimes you meet these producers at the actresses. And you're like, I don't know. Well, he was the long face like Sean. I think she likes long face.

He likes a long face? Yeah. Yeah. She would like a president. Like an old president.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you wouldn't be her type. Yeah. Yeah.

“But what I remember about her is he her being very funny.”

I mean, she's so smart and cool. Yeah. She was very funny. What's your favorite role of hers? Jesus Christ.

Um. You still didn't play that. Okay. [ Laughter ]

I mean, obviously, the first time I would notice her was Prince's bride.

Yeah. It was really, really good. Yeah. Yeah. For a scum is probably the most iconic.

I can't. But she was good in Wonder Woman. That was she was fun in that. Yeah. Buffed out.

Yeah. She's a super beautiful though. Yeah. She's pretty stunning. Stunning, right?

Yeah. Who do you? Sharon Stone or her, you think? Her for sure. But Sharon Stone or Prime though?

Oh, my God. No. She's just whole some just beautiful. Yeah. Look at that.

Wow. What a beautiful girl. Golden. It's my gorgeous. It's very talented.

Absolutely. I think. Not my style, but yeah. Yeah, but just beautiful. Beautiful.

Awesome. Yeah. What is it?

“I'm dressed just sent me something to see some sort of meme.”

No, I just read. This guy won the lottery and so was so surprising. He found love. Today.

181 million dollar lottery winner falls in love.

Yeah. Yeah. And the lottery winner is the woman. Yeah. Because she, that's she won the lottery that guy.

Dude. Just by chance. Two days after. Yeah. Tell me this guy's British.

100%. Right? Yeah. Is he not British? No.

It's American. Where? I find myself a beauty girl, dude. Wait till you see the girl that I got. She won't not in front of me.

Isn't it incredible though? She's poisoning him. This is basically what happened. Life changed. Yeah.

Life over. You think it's over? The lottery is the worst thing. They say statistically. Like these people end up killing themselves.

Going broke. When you hear a statistic. Same thing. Same. Same.

Oh. Wow. Bobby statistics. You're right. You hear one?

Right. People that are. They're in a car accident and paralyzed in the neck down. Or get our happier than lottery winners. No.

Yeah. Made that out of it. I mean that sounds really why. Why? Can I tell you why?

So when you win the lottery, right? Your friends and family, they change. Right. I want the money. You don't know how to manage money.

So you lose a money quickly. Right. You start buying houses and cars for your friends and all that stuff.

You win the lottery. More burden. More burden. More pain. And somebody that's been in the car accident paralyzed from the neck down.

When they can taste orange juice for the first time, they're super joy there. When they can move a pinky, right?

“Like every day, something new thing happens, right?”

They, you get more joy. And there's more, you know what I mean? The small thing matters. Small things. And then you realize who your true friends are and loved ones when you're in a car accident.

Yeah. And so they say that you're happier. I agree. I mean, you see the history of all these people that win the lottery is awful. That's awful.

Yeah. They lose it quickly.

They're always like, the guy, what was the dude?

There was no kind of just killed himself. That one, that one, the lottery now too long ago. Like he just... Something that this guy is going to lose the law. If he loses the money.

Yes. Mental health struggles. Very big. The curse. The curse of the lottery.

70% of lottery winners go broke or face severe financial distress within a few years. That was kind of like, do you remember the show? What was it? Move that bus? You know that fucking show?

Extreme home makeover. They would give these people these mansions. People that made like 30 grand a year, they give them a fucking mansion. They couldn't pay the taxes on it. They'd go broke.

Then they'd be in worse financial debt than they were. Wow. They got the house. Yeah. Yeah.

So they got sued, right? Didn't they get sued? And then they settled. And then at some point the show had to continue on the air. So what happened was then the networks started paying for the taxes or whatever.

So these people wouldn't drown. Right. Wow. It's interesting. It's a bad game.

Hey guys. Do you know where sponsor my Pepsi?

“Bob, did you see that Pepsi did another Pepsi challenge?”

Well, well, what people still do that? Yes. They do still do that. And 66% of people chose Pepsi zero sugar over Coca-Cola zero sugar. That's not even close.

I know. 66% of people over what percentage of people chose Coca-Cola zero. 44%. 34. I guess Pepsi doesn't make you a good at math.

Right on man. Good man. That is very true. That's right on the number. Yeah.

Perfect. I'm going to try it. There we go. Okay. I'm going to take a straw in the A and then the B ready.

And I'm going to try B first. There you go backwards.

You always go backwards because I'm going to try A first.

I'm going to try B. Okay. Don't say anything. Yeah. Hmm.

Okay. I'm going to try A first. I'm going to try B. Okay. Okay.

I'm going to try A first. I'm going to try B. All right. Close your eyes. I do it again. Yeah, I do it again. She do a more time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got it. I got it on the count of three. Close your throat in my mind is also, you know, I'm parched. I'm in the center of desert. Right. I'm dreaming of a cold of ever. We're in a studio in Burbank. No, in my mind. Oh, yeah. What would I write? Okay. I'm parched. Yeah. I'm in the

Sahara desert, right, and I'm trying to find a liquor store or something or store or comedian stores. So I can get a beverage. Yeah. I see one in the desert desert. Right. And I, what if it's a garage? It could be a morage. And I only have one opportunity to buy one beverage. We're going with I pick what you're going to say. I'm going to say 1, 2, 3, A. No. Let me say. Let me see. Oh, my god. Papsy did. No. What's yours? I picked Pepsi. Yep. Wow. Got me. If I had an option based on the

taste test, I'm going with the rising star. Because you're a rising star. I'm a rising star. Am I? Yep. I am. Yeah. Because you chose the 66%. But my star is a little bloated. So as long as I keep

“drinking Pepsi zero sugar, it might it might be a shooting star at some point. If you want to use that”

analogy. I did. I know. Well, you guys also think of it this way too. I'm an alien. I'm visiting right. I'll, I'll second that. Oh, my god. What city am I in Los Angeles? Hi. Hi. I heard about call a beverages. Can you give me their phenomenal? Are they? Yeah. Everyone is the one that's the best up and rising one. Let me tell you something alien. Yes. I can get you the Pepsi challenge. So you can decide for yourself. Get it? I don't know. Is this is right here? That's it. Wow. That's the

Pepsi challenge right there. Are you an alien or a robot? I am a combination of a cyborg and

human parts as well. You know what I should. I've never questioned you. I'm sorry. I have also

bionotrics. Are you made a bionotrics? Yes. Wonderful. All right. Once you take the Pepsi challenge, what's your name sir? What's your name? Alongo. Alongo. Alongo. What do you think? Love it. Take a sip. Okay. Here we go. Mmm. Me and a pop. That's not going to short circuit your insights. That's me. So it's short circuiting. Okay. Well, drink up before you die before your system crashes.

La Longo. La Longo likes what better. Bapsing. You heard it here. First, La Longo likes Pepsi more.

“Pepsi. Pepsi zero sugar. Longo likes Pepsi zero sugar more than Coca-Cola zero sugar. Go out and try”

Pepsi zero sugar today. Let your taste decide. I'll give you statistics. I'll give you statistics. Smoking a pack of cigarettes is the health equivalent to having unprotected sex with five prostitutes. It is. No, I made it up. Oh fuck. But it sounded real. Sounded real. Yeah. Okay. True or false. Let's see if you can get it. But you know, I'll give you one. You're covered one, right? Yeah. It's better to be a

cigarette smoker for for COVID. True. It is. It was. Yeah. Turned out. Yeah. It is.

Smokers had better. Better lung capacity. Yeah. Yeah. Better propensity to like fix themselves. You know. All right. I don't like that. You're smart. Yeah. Google it. It's true. Because I looked down when I googled things that are the joke. No, it's not. It's true. Google it. No. No, no, no. That's. It's an extensive research. It's a thirties like World Health Organization confirmed. It's smoking. Greece is the risk of severe illness hospitalization. The death from COVID-19. In fact. Oh, I made it up. Yeah. I tell you. You sold me. Yeah. I bought it. Can I give you a statistic? Is it real? Full of faith. You tell me if it's true or fake. Okay. Go ahead.

78% of people that got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine drove Dodge Chargers.

“Well, 78. Yeah. I think it's false. I think it's false. It's. I don't know anybody.”

It's 87. It's 87. It's the other way. Yeah. Wow. That's a good one. That went from a cone. McCone. Welcome back. McCone is back. Give it up from a cone. He got stuck in New York. Shit. Hey. How was New York? You pig. It was great. It was very fun. It was nice hanging out with you. Yeah. Yeah. We took the boy. It took the boy to Madison Square God had a fun little time there. Then we took when then we went to what we thought was a gay bar. But it was just gay night. Yeah. Yeah. It was all women. We went downstairs and it was all women. Wow. And then it took five seconds for the intelligent people to go. Oh, it's a gay bar.

Yeah. And these fucking doorks. Simon is buddy. We're like, it's a lot of babes here. Man. They're like, great ratio. I was like, great ratio. These women don't like penises. Oh, wow, wow, wow. You can tell because the girl came out to me and Daped me up right away. He literally goes, yo, fucking love your show dog. And I was like, yeah. Thank you, dude. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. By the way, big in the lesbian community, that's huge bad friends. We love that. Really? Yeah. Fuck yeah. We had a lot of fans. It was great. Yeah.

That made me feel good. That's amazing. All right. Sorry for sharing. That's really good. I like that.

You go to a gay bar. You find out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get recognized a gay bar. Bobby, you're back. Where have you been? Yeah. You bad boy. I just got tuned out for a second. It was so weird. We're going. Because I had a keyboard with a little statistic, but then it's like, it was too late. It was too late to say it because it, we had Transition done to something else. And I just got stuck on it, but it's like, I'm not even going to say it, but I'm just saying, come on, give it to you. Give it to me. It's stupid. They're all so fucking dumb. They're all like a minute. I got hung up on it. You know, I mean, you know,

there's people that in China, where they can walk, like it looks like they're where they can walk above the ground, like they're floating. When they, they're dancing. Yeah. Do you know that? Yeah. Did you know that those people, they're not everyone can do it, but those people. They don't have bone marrow. Did you know that? Not be real. So, what do you mean this? What do you mean this? That's not a good one.

“I know. But that's why. But that's why for a minute, I was thinking about it, right?”

No, it wasn't. I know, wasn't. For some reason, I couldn't get my mind. I got stuck in it. You know what I mean? In my mind, I was like, this is not a good one, because you're making it up, obviously. You know what I mean? And then I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Bone marrow. Exactly. It wasn't even good. That's why you, I even said, I don't even say anything. No, it's fine. Yeah, I just did, it's, yeah, I don't, but you didn't have to fucking call me out. Well, it was just so, yeah. Oh, you did this.

What did you do this? I didn't like it. I don't like it either. I didn't want to say it. It's terrible. The meal was bad. It was bad. I don't want to eat that. Like a kid. Get that, but is that?

It's like spitting in someone's face. I didn't have spitting on you. That's basically the spitting face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, that's the word. Like it away. Yeah.

“Anyway, did you have fun in New York? What else did you do? Would you get into?”

I mean, there wasn't much. We were snowed in, but I went to the, I went to the, the met. That was very fun. Great museum. Yeah, you went by yourself? No, I stay with my friends Jackson and Abby. Oh, what are they? Anyway? Who gives a fuck? Shut it down, shut it down, shut it down, shut it down. Get the fuck out. Shut it down. Yeah. That's great. No, that is nice. You want to tell us what you saw at the bat?

Yeah, you don't even want to know. What is the beat of alarm? What is that? Did you have the slice of New York pizza? We went to a bar together above five guys. That was actually wild. You walk into five guys like you're going to order and there's a fucking bouncer by the fryer. And you hand them your idea and there's a bar upstairs. Secret bar upstairs. No. Yeah, it's kind of cool. Five guys. Yeah, and you could take a inside. Inside, and you could take some peanuts to go upstairs and

everything. Wow. It was kind of a cool little bars like a nice little knuck tucked away. Five guys in the village. Wow. Is that the original five guys? No, the original is four guys. And that's up the street. They just had the one up up. Hey, dude. That's your that dude. That was your bone marrow. That was my bone marrow. Yeah, yeah, four guys.

“No, the original five guys. I think is in DC. Am I wrong? I believe so. I'm like. I think my buddy”

Tyler took me to the original five guys in Arlington, or wherever it is. Arlington, Virginia. There it is. Yeah. I think I went to that one with him. No, is the original like the original panda or the original, whatever. Is it better than the chain of it? I mean, I'm sure the locals would say yes, right? Because they grew up. If you had the first,

you're always going to be like, we did it. It's like the band. You're like, I knew that band.

Mm-hmm. Like that band. That album wasn't as good as the first one that I heard. Because the original panda expressed their actual restaurant restaurant, apparently is very good. It's in Pasadena, California. What's that called? Panda. Panda in. Panda in, right? Is it? It's right there. Zoom in, bud. The original concept for Panda Express started with Panda in, sit down restaurant, open by Andrew and Peggy Churring, Churring in Pasadena.

97, 73 and foothill, Boulevard. It burned down during the fires. However, somehow the child main did survive. That stuff is just, it's not flammable. Child made it so strong. So strong. There's the original, that's Panda Express, the original Panda in. I hate Panda Express. It's good in a bind, but I want to try Panda in. Let's go. I'd love to go. Is it still open? Is there an original McDonald's?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's here in California. Yeah, this is open. Let's go do it. We should try Panda in. The first McDonald's is in San Bernardino. Are you being real? Yes. And it's still there. I do not know if it's still there. I think it's a museum now. And then the first chain, of course, was in Illinois. That's where our boy Ray Crock stole the idea took it. And we went there as of on a field trip as kids. Yeah, you know what I'm obsessed with?

No, multi-occupier. Love, novelty architecture. You know what novelty architecture is? Yeah. What is it, McCone? Architecture that's kind of silly around the ordinary. Yeah. For the fun of it and the love of it. I got to find, like, Randy's donuts is one. Look at that. That's so funny. They had idle hour. That bar in North Hollywood. I've been to that bar. This one? Yeah. What is that? It's a bar on languishing. Oh, those barrels? Yeah. I love it.

And you go sit in the barrels. Wow. But then when beer starts filling up in there, it's scary. I mean, that's it. Yeah. Another one. Yeah. I know. Yeah. There it is. Yeah. But you know, it's like, you know, you know, some like, you go to cities all over the country now. They all look the same. Oh, why can't we like, you know, express ourselves in different ways?

Our architectural wise. I mean, terms, is that money? No, we're going. No, the problem is we're going

backwards because what happens is people want stuff that looks nice and new. But in, in fact, it actually is just cheaper and poorly built. But they like the idea of because, be, okay, like the all these fucking apartment complexes going on. Yeah. They all at the same exact. Yeah. Because people want new, right? So they say, I can't afford a fucking house. But I want a nice apartment. I want something nice and new. I want a new build. I want no one to live in it. But the

problem is they throw these things up. They, they, they, they do it with the cheapest materials possible. Yeah. And they built them so shanty like, but people want the image of nice and new from the outside.

“Yeah. That's why the whole city of fucking L.A. looks like that. Yeah. It's fake luxury.”

It's, it's a bummer and it's taking over. And if you look at like, um, the colors of cars that we have today versus in the 70s, it's like, what happened to those fun colors? Well, here's the problem now. Yeah. As a car guy, it's paint to sample now because they don't sell as well. And there come a car

company's main goal is to sell as men. It's volume at the highest level. It's just sell a billion

They were like, here, we'll get it back. And then we'll just sell it at a huge discount. That because the highest colors of cars that sell are like white, black, and gray. And so they're like, fuck it. We won't make any other colors. God, it's just made our society in a culture look like green land. It sucks. All of it.

“So now you have to paint the sample. You want to special color. You have to order a color of a car.”

It costs more money. Yeah. Like the 1970s that arrow, the top selling cars were avocado green, Harvesty, L.O. Earthy Brown, Burn Orange. Wow. Beautiful. Beautiful. Fun. I've fucked with a burn orange. That's such a sexy color on a car. Yeah. What's today now? Is that today? White is 38. Black is 19. Gray is 15. Those are the highest that I said. Oh, my. Silver and blue are nine and seven.

Red is five. It doesn't even happen anymore. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. It's incredible.

What happened? Well, let me be honest. Yellow is the fucking yellow stinks. Yellow is weird. Yellow on a car is not it. It's hard. Yeah. Not it. It doesn't do it for me. Midnight purple would be fun. Who? Hello? Is that the nickname for your penis? Yeah. Midnight purple to gay. Hey, George. Midnight purple. What's the opposite of this? That's it. What's a color of your car? What is that color called?

It's like, that's why I like it. It's like, it's like a soft baby blue. Soft baby blue. Yeah. Yeah. Not a hard

“baby blue. It's like that. Yeah. It's exactly right. It's like it's like a card. It's like, yeah. It's like this.”

Well, kind of, I guess, right? He was a lighter than that. He was a lighter than that. He used to know a little bit of the kid goes right to Texas stuff. Yeah. It's what I see when I see his car. What are you going to move to Texas? The rumor is you're moving to Texas. No. Everyone on the streets talking about it. No, I'm not leaving LA. Everybody says, do you know this? People on the round L. They're saying he's going back. He's going to Austin. Oh, no. He keeps going there. He's looking

for a place to live. I already have a place to live. Oh, it's big idea. You have a, you want to place in Austin? My sister and I do. Oh, really? Where is it? South Congress. It's like, yeah, by one of those boot shops. No, it's actually like by like a Verizon store. It's like a random neighborhood. You know that on South Congress, that was the funniest neighborhood back in the day. He's to love going down there. And now it's a Lulu lemon and a fucking soul cycle and a, right? It's

so house, so house and duck base. Earth bar. It's just, it's here. It's California now. I like that stripping Austin. We'll have that pizza place. What's it called? We're right across Richmond of the boot boot. We went. I know. It's so good. Is it fucking cold? I don't know. I love that place. Why can't I think of the home slice? Home slice. Yeah. That place is fucking great. Yeah. It's a fun place. It's a fun place. Yeah. It's a fun place. Yeah. It's a fun place. Yeah.

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Rocket Money.com/badfriends. You keep the troops in line these boys. Yeah. Yeah. You don't do that with your crew? They're all subject to NDAs. So I have a... Fuck. We never made these guys sign NDAs for this boy we did. These guys are there too late.

What coin has one? Yeah. Adam, they could ruin our careers. And once we get a career,

they could fucking bear them. I'm actually here to get them to unionize. I'm trying to take down all of the podcasts. I'm very funny, right, guys? I'm probably right. Dude, you guys deserve to own the means of production. Totally. We've even seen that for six years. Yeah, it's a... This is a Republican man. This is not... This is a Republican. Yeah, this is a Republican. Dude, I know dude. What? This is a protest. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. How far is Jay Leno's cars? He lives up there.

He'll come down in the middle of this man. How is he okay? He just keeps like getting into

“slapstick style kind of accidents? He's... I think he's doing a lot of prat falling.”

I think there's... The video of him... The video of him... Where he's like, I'm fine that he gets in the car. That one is just... He's like, he just fell down. Well, he hits the fire hydrant where he's like talking... I mean, he's a colleague, so I'm in a friend. I mean, like, I'm not... This is... Yeah, the... The burn accident. Like, oh my god, he's okay. I hope he's okay. I think he's got to be okay, man. He's still doing car shows every week. Burn accident. How many horrific garage accident?

This man who death follows him everywhere he goes. He's like in the movie "Final Destination." Do you know him? Yeah, brand new phase have Adam. Do you know him? Jay? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What? Yeah. You guys just served him Vietnam together? Well, it's new. There's like... You know like the Harvard club? Oh, it's like for talk show. Oh, talk show club. So it's me, Leno. What's... Bill Mar? Kelsey lately. Uh-huh. Yeah. Who else? I don't know.

Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, that British guy that no one likes, Gordon. I mean, sorry, he's a friend.

“Are your boys with him? Bobby, boys with him? He produced something I was in. What did he produce?”

That game show I did. Really terrible. What was it called? How to be a fatso for you? Apparently he's terrible to, like, in a restaurant. Well, the rumor was "Balthazar." Oh, yeah. Oh, he was like a dickhead. Yeah, yeah. What's his name? Who's the restaurant? So where's the "Balthazar"? What's that? What? Not Jose and Dres. You fucking idiot. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. Oh, you guys are inspiring me to talk to these 80s.

Ethanic Nally. Keith McNally. Yeah, he did that post. You blushed. You blushed? I mean, it's the good thing this is just the one side. You don't ever blush. Man, you represent fat friends. Don't blush. You're right. Why that's nice. Yeah, yeah. You don't have like a bitch, dude. Stop. Don't talk to him that way. Hey, fuck you out of my mind. I tried to out of hot long.

You know, guys, he's just you're making advertising. It's a complete honor in a privilege to be an assistant. You guys really? Yeah, yeah. I'm here. I'm here in Los Angeles, just visiting and this is one of the stops I'm making. What are you doing in LA? Yeah. You hate LA. I don't know. I don't hate LA. I don't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, I like LA because it's gorgeous. Yeah, I'm from here. I was born here. Yeah, but you're in New York, guy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm just Jewish. I'm wearing clothes.

“That's what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We like, we like to keep you guys over there.”

There's you just in LA. I know, but here they're there. We keep them in order. We keep them.

Fairfax. Do you like having a wall around the they wouldn't let us do it? I think it's pretty popular to be.

Who do you think runs the industry that we work Chinese people? Yeah, no, that's not true at all. Seriously? No, no, no, no, no. You don't think the Chinese run us? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I do, I on stage, I do a joke about if they have to not take it from the Jews. Hollywood. And if they did, and, you know, Bobby, they would make like what going to work one, going to work two and stuff the Chinese. It would be terrible. I'm just saying if they ran it,

packed it instead of the Jews, packed it at train as a good move. Yeah, it would be called, yeah, we don't know how to wait in line. Do you ever think about what it's like just there in China? Yeah, yeah, I haven't been having been. Have you been? No, but it's just what for like 60 years

and they're just going like, yep, is that dynamite? No, I'm just thinking of family line. Yeah,

“oh, that's just like, he we the worst in a assembly. That's how slow he goes.”

Yeah, if I be terrible in Chinese, yeah, I'd be one of the worst Chinese imaginable. A little American kids get easy. Just they're whole life. They're just this. That's what they get. Oh, that's what they get. I imagine. And I have, I have my own YouTube, but Jewish style, a long form interview talk show and I complain, look at this. This is way, this is terrible. She loves it. Yeah, she loves it. Also, what are they dreaming? What are they thinking? Are they

fucking? Yeah, they're going to the club and fucking. Really quick. How do they get drunk at work? Yeah, no, they're not going to, no, they're not going to, they're not going to go to the bathroom. Yeah, they have to put their pants, they have to put their pants. I just think, yeah, what's, what do they do for fun over there? It just, it feels so fucking. We're working in a factory, Adam, okay. I'm not going to work in a factory. Let's do a scenario. Yeah, I'm not going to go out.

Oh, my god, that was a tough. You, the HR, Tom. Hey, what's up? That's really hard. They shit. I like the way you talk. Oh, yeah, I just, what time in America? We have to be back here in two hours. What do we do? You don't get sleep, eat, sleep eat a party. You don't get two hours. You,

“there's a suicide net. If you want to jump off the roof, then you have to go back and make more iPhones.”

Have you jumped into the net yet? No. It's pretty fun. I'm trying. Yeah. Wow. You got to jump, it's a little bouncy. There it is. I've been in that net. Dude, that's so crazy. What do, what do they do after work? Yeah, what do they do after work? They go home. Are they watch Mandalorian? What do they do? They eat and they eat and they go to bed immediately. They go to bed because they got to be

up in three more hours. There's no TV. It's a tough life. Well, I'm glad there's no TV because it's a TV sucks. They're smart to not have TV. TV is awesome. You get the sports games. Yeah. Sports TV is different. But TV shows, like name a TV show you like. It's a pre-edos. That's on right now. That is a current show. Inside the NBA. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's a good. Non-sports shows. What's a good show right now?

Say. And just like that. Fuck you. That's a great show. I see every episode. I see every episode. I see every episode. Why? I'm not a good actor. No, I thought you were going to put that up. You know Sarah and Jessica was on my show. I actually love her. Yeah, yeah. She's so nice. You know? She's awesome. She's awesome. She's the president of girls. Yeah, push her. Who's your white wife for your show? Amy Schumer probably. Or white well for the show? I don't know.

I was like, I'm Amy Schumer, but I'm never met her.

Oh, my job. Yeah, she nice. Yeah. Well, yeah, see her at the meetings. Yeah. She's like, I'm Chuck Schumer's niece. Yeah. She says that to me. I'm like, I'm supposed to be impressed. Have you ever been to her? Who's niece or you? Who's niece of mine? And then Yahoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You got to be somebody's. Somebody has a piece. Oh, no, I have gotten none of the advantages of you. I've never know Neppo shit. Yeah, yeah. I know. Wasted time. I know. It sucks. Get out of this business.

“That's what my parents told me the night before I moved to New York. I'll don't listen to those”

Jews. I mean, but honestly, I mean, like seriously, like they were like, we don't know anyone in the entertainment. You're, but as good as you are as funny as you are as talented as you are, to not have anything to help you out, Stanks. Nick Molen. Pretty much. That's the only one. And he's an anti-Semite. I mean, it's like that. Wrong. Yeah. Like, it's pretty much the only person that's ever known. It's like, uh, no, yeah. I remember, like, I thought because I started in DC,

and I was like, I was like, the glasses, Jewish guy and like the local scene. And then I moved to New York. And I told my parents, I was like, they're like, we don't have any connections and show business.

2,000 guys named Adam Freely. Literally Adam Freely. Like, you just meet Jews. Yeah. There's nothing special about me whatsoever. Yeah. Yes, they're, they do stand up. You know, you know, there's

something special about you. Oh, I was, I have a little secret. I'll never, no. Where were you born

“in the city? Where were you born? Santa Monica. You're born in the Wikipedia, the west side?”

Uh, yeah. Uh, I'm on the Wikipedia, St. John's Hospital. Are you really? Yeah. One of the most famous guys born there. Well, Mariska, Mariska, Mariska Hargite, Mariska Hargite, big fans of her at this show. She was, uh, she's on the list next to be notable patients. It's not, not cool when you guys make lists, but this one's good. Is this, uh, the Wikipedia? Yeah. Freedom is, who writes it? Can you, you can check out, like, what? He's the former, what? Fiancea, odcaster, Dasha. Oh, yeah, he's currently

engaged to, wait, no, come on, don't, how does this know this? She gets mad. Well, did you put this out there? No, no, look at the editors. You can check, oh, God. This, this was terrible. Hot. Hot. I was, when I did the photo shoot for that article they did. Comedy Central presents taken it easy. Shane text me, he was like, it's actually making me so mad how gay this is. That's a cool photo. That's a cool photo. And I love those chairs that you have on your show.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, but I was on the chair. They asked me to do, like, or on the floor, and I was like, can, can you not use these? I, like, stopped in the middle of it. They used it as the main picture in every comments group chat was like, fuck, this guy. Uh, yeah, that's cute.

“And also, like, look at my cheeks, they like airbrushed me. Look, disgusting. What do you mean the airbrushed you?”

Like, look at that. I mean, I have acne scarring. They got rid of it. Yeah, good, though.

I can never get rid of mine. I have this big chunk here. They can't, even if they try, they're like,

it gets, what happened to you? Accutin? Yo, yeah. Yeah, me too. 100%. Me too. Twice. Yeah, yeah. How much, how much rage against the machine do you listen to when you're on Accutin? Literally, that's all I would listen to. It makes you aggressive. Uh, it makes you crazy. It makes you a little manic. Yeah, it took my senior year, and I was doing my college essays, and uh, did you pick out your acne as that? Why they're scarring? No, this was because a group would,

it would group, and then, and then we had cystic acne. So it would, it would layer, but what's the cause of that kind of acne? Asian people probably in my proximity. The more of you that were around. Really, you grew up around Asian people. They were everywhere. These people. You can't get rid of them. I grew up in Vegas, actually. A lot of this is from a lot of Filipinos. All right. You like them? I love them too. I love them too. I love those are good. They're the best ones.

They're good. They're the second best people. What's the first? Mess again? Yeah, they're, I love Mexican. Yeah. Third? What mine? Yeah. Yeah. What's your power regulate races? We should do it. We're like, Bill Simmering. I can do my Asian list. Yeah. What's your list? You have an Asian list? No, no, not not Asians. Just every kind of person. Every kind of person. Also, I cut off an injury.

“This was good. Yeah. Yeah. Top three races. Can I say fat whites?”

Fat whites? Is it the worst people? No, I love fat whites because they're nice to me. No, good looking whites are not as nice. That's true. The guys are good. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. No. Korean. Korean is the best race for you. In one, I'm Korean. I have to say that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't put you. Okay. You're taught 25. Okay. Number two Filipinos. Yeah. Yeah. Three Mexicans. Yeah. For any kind of black. Uh, any kind. Even like Minnesota. Yeah. Like, just what? All right.

The Chappelle Lacy is the blacks. I like that. He's good. I mean, hey guys, I'm going to do an alley. Yeah. All right. Yeah. You know some black, black people. Let's hear it. Well, you know, the, I like Cogasi and I like to Oli. No. You know, how do you feel? He likes black guys that like metal. Yeah. Like, like, like, like, oh, black guys. Yeah. All black guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've ever met vampire Mexicans. No, yeah. Love the El Paso. You got El Paso Texas. You know,

we got him here on a full. Yeah. Like Marvolta. They're like Dallas. Where to? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like the. Yeah. Yeah. What's that? The golf black guys. That's the golf music. I like, yeah. I love the golf black. The golf black's are cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look. Oh, my.

I got there in my favorite. Look. Oh, and I know Trinity. It's crazy because they always sound like their

fake California. Oh, like, yeah. Or free as style. Yeah. More free as style. Back. Yeah. Yeah. That's my favorite. Yeah. Is that trying to go super sane? They think it's a real thing. Yeah. That was guys. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. You always at my shows wearing sunglasses and the audience. Yeah. I mean, like a like a snake, dark purple jacket. Uh-huh. Yeah. I like that. No shirt. Yeah. No shirt. Yeah. Yeah. A shirtless. Yeah.

I love that. Smith's Mexicans are the best. Yeah. Smith's Mexicans are the best. Yeah. Smith's Mexicans.

I grew up with a lot of Mexicans and I became like, uh, I earned their respect because I smoked Motta and uh, I also smoked weed and they're like, oh, they Jewish kids. They're like, they're like, we too. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. And they were like, tell me, Adam, like, you're like a emo. And I was like, no, I don't know. And I was like, I like the accent. I was like, I like like radio head and like, I don't know. I guess I like me. And they're like, you like low, low smits. And I was like,

yeah, I love the Smith. And they're like, they're really into the Smiths. But specifically, Morrissey. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, but I was like, it's weird that you guys are into

“the Morrissey because like your homophones, your homophones. Yeah. They're like, that's how fucked up”

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conversions. Less cards are going to go abandoned and more sales for you. All right. So it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month. Trial today at Shopify.com/badfriends. Go to Shopify.com/badfriends. Shopify.com/badfriends. Genuinely though. Yeah. All jokes side. Who is the one that you want to get on there so bad? There's got to be someone that you're like, you know, who'd be

fucking perfect for the show that won't do it. Uh, Sydney, sweetie, no cam. Just no, no, no, just no cameras. No condoms. Look cameras. No card. No condoms. I don't know. Obama. Have you fun? Have you killed the Bobby? He's been here. You just made Obama? It just made him. What was it like?

He's like magic. Sweet. Such a sweet like, like, uh, affable and also like disarming.

Right as you talk to him. You're like, oh, I feel good. This time. I want to ask him if he's depressed. I did. What, you did it right? Yep. I said, how do you feel? You look like you're depressed. No, you know what it is. I bet you he's. Can you imagine what it's like to be Obama? It's got a suck. Yeah. Why? Because all the time, everything is all the time and you're the one. He's fucking Neo. It's like, yeah, yeah. He is the one, yeah. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one

for all the good and all the bad. Well, no more so it's just like everything. Everything went crazy after

“he was the president. That's what I mean. He's got to be like, is it my fault? Well, 100%. Yeah. He's got to be like,”

that's what he looked like when I met him. Really. Yeah. Really. That looks a lot like Morpheus from the, uh, from the movie. Sure. The major. Sure. If you're small-minded, but this is if you really know what's going on in the

world. Oh, yeah. He probably always has to be nice to when he's out in public. Yeah. You feel like you have to.

Yeah, but I don't have that kind of image. But you have a bad boy image. Yeah, you do. You think I have a bad boy image? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm nice to everybody. No, I'm nice to everybody. No, no, everyone says like you're at that. No, you're at the Viper room, sunset street. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I kiss the sidewalk where River died. There's a lot of stories I hear about people. I always do. I miss you when someone meets me and they'll go, you know, I met Bobby when he was in town or whatever. And I'll go, oh yeah, and I'll go,

yeah, he's like through a fork and like yelled at the server and we loved it. Yeah, yeah. They love they, they love when he's a fucking maniac. You know that's not true. You know that I'm a nice guy. No, but I'm saying you do you play don't do that. You play bits with people. You guys got a pipe up. You do bits and we know you fucking do. Like people with less money than you. Yeah. Yeah. He does like doing bits with strangers. And then it leaves, he likes, it's like his, uh, what, Bill Murray. He

like he wants to be Bill Murray. He wants like leave a nugget of, you know what Bobby did here when he was here. Oh, yeah, he loves that shit. Yeah. He was like, went to a wedding and yeah, you do love that. Don't lie. I guess so. Yeah. You do. You're a rambling man. What? A rambling man. I'm a rambling man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, de-camera. We learn. You do that kind of thing. You go to like a random bar mitzvon. You're like Bobby

Lee just chilled with us all night. I would do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds kind of sick. Actually. Yeah. Not a bar mitzvon. You wouldn't do a party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He would do it if he had a, he would do it if it's like a, if it was like a small click somewhere at a private little thing. He would bust in on that. Oh, famous people. Oh, he loves that. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Famous. Famous. He want to be

first famous person you have in your food. I, it's not like him. What? Already. It's not like him.

Yes. Wait. I'm going to ask him next. But yeah. Who's yours? Oh, my. Fuck man. Uh, it's not in my phone. Look. What? Yeah. Oh, no. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Oh, look at that. Look, look, look. Look at it. What are you doing there? Dude. Like, it looks like I was going to point at something. Yeah. He takes a pick of me. Just go like this. Is that your girlfriend or wife or? That's my wife. Yeah. Who do you have? I don't know. I don't, there's no one. You know everyone that I know. That's not even Travis Kelsey. Do you have his number? No.

You lied, fuck. Do you have Travis Kelsey's number? No. You really not. So how do you go? How do you hang out with him? DM.

“Oh, you DM of my name? Only DM. Oh, no, on Twitter. We don't do this. Okay. All right. Only on that. Who's your most famous?”

I'm not no one really. Stop, maybe. Stop it. Our boy. Yeah. Shane, maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Non comics. You got some people in there. You know, he is. He is. He is. Oh, wow. That's a good one. It's not inspired. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I saw you too much. We do it too much. Jamie Lee Curtis. We text her. Why? Because you earned it. What are those yogurt commercials? There you go. It's yogurt for your brother. You think she got that to believe. Be like the mean stuff people say about me. I'm going to do the pussy yogurt commercial.

Just go as far as you can. I'm like, I'm going to go all in. Yeah. You're trying to find me on this. Yeah. No, he did a movie. Do you know it, right? Yeah. Which freakier Friday? No. It's called Borderlands. Nobody wants. War at. Borderlands. Oh, it's that director. You like Roth. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's good friends with

“Michael Bay. Michael Bay? Yeah. Yeah. What? Yeah. Oh, my god. Tell it. Can you say my boy?”

Okay. Adam says the ambulance was fired. Yeah. I like that movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's like what would

Michael Bay. Tax Michael Bay. Adam's here. Yeah. Yeah. Just actually just say Adam's here. Adam's here.

“Adam's here. Adam. Yeah. It says, that's it. That's it. You have no no no one. I don't really have anybody”

in my phone. Then can I throw you some names out? Yeah. They want to be on Bateman. No. You don't bateman's number? No. Okay. Charlie Day. No. I don't know. Tell DMs. Really? All DMs. So you send your cock out all to all these guys just to just to the dogs. Yeah. Just the dogs. Yeah. During COVID, me and my friends got addicted to that. Send your dick to the dogs. Just yeah, in the boys chat, like my friend just middle of the lockdown and you just said it's penis. And he was like, yeah,

it's he said the rule was it's gay to send it to girls, but it's cool if you're sending it to your friends. And then I said, well, I eventually played the game. Yeah. And then, uh, and then, uh, he's like, you're puffed and I'm like, dude, no, I'm not puffed. And then he said it to my girlfriend to be like, is this puffed or is this really? You were puffed out when I was puffed. Yeah. No, we know when someone's puffed it. I wasn't. Well, you know what? Hey, you know what? Also,

post stroke post stroke though, does that doesn't count as puff after you have a stroke? Post stroke. Post stroke. Oh, I don't know why I thought it was like, yeah, like now, because after you nut, you're on the come down so can you send a come down photo? Well, that's that's puffed.

“Now, because puff is on the way up. I think that is the deep deflation, the deep puff is,”

that's not on you. That's faster to deflate. Post. Yeah. How fast you deflate? Look, what is I wanted it to look beautiful for my friend. Yeah, we got it. But, I mean, how quickly? How quickly after you nut does it deflate? It depends on how quickly my wife is coming up stairs. I'm barely hard at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The noodle. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's pretty fast for me. I can get a three minutes. Full minutes. Yeah. Three minutes for me. Yeah. Three minutes of deflation? Yeah. What are you 13 years old?

Yeah, yeah. What are you the healthiest man in the world? I use blue chill. Oh, we're in China. Oh, they don't do us anywhere. They don't? No, they did, they did come down for a very long time. Yeah. We used to do make irresponsible claims. Are you doing shows in town or not? No, I was just in Seattle

for the do a weekend. Now, I'm meeting with some of the most powerful executives in the

way. What clubs up there? There's a new one Emerald City. Have you done up there? Yeah. Seattle last time I did. It was a club that closed years ago. A little live. I used to play. Yeah, parlor. Yeah, yeah. They're every year. But that's close forever. Yeah. This is new Emerald City. Yeah. It was like nice. Yeah, it was my first weekend after a year. Because I took the year off the road to get the talk show up and running. And so yeah,

so it was like my first weekend back out. It was so fun. It's actually like, yeah, you know when you're doing stand up all the time, you hate it. Yeah. Yeah. It really, uh, I feel like a young kid again. I feel like a bright-eyed kid again. Wow. Do you bring someone with you? Yeah, I brought my boy Caleb out on the road and he has to do anything nice. No, no. Yeah, I brought my friend Caleb who also works on the talk show with me and right around the

talk show. And yeah, no. It was like, it was funny remembering how to do an hour. Yeah. Yeah. And then like, yeah. And then you get it back down and you're like, oh, actually, this is, it'll blast again. Yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, whatever. Cut all of that. She needs this. Last night was at the store. I was about to go up and I just laughed. We're gelsons. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I just looked on stage. I was like,

I don't want to do it. Why? It was the first time I was ever like that where I was like,

I'm not going to do it. Are you over because the hours done? Yeah. I just looked at, because Sebastian was up there killing and I was just kind of like, well, I'm going to go home.

“He was shotgun on deck. Yeah. Yeah. Just for fun. Who did he killed a woman?”

I'm Steve. What would be funny? Let me see, you have anxiety. What's going on here? No, I'm a, I'm a fidgety guy. Yeah. You mentioned. You take out. You gave a man a skill. Adam, do you take anything? Uh, do I take anything? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. You're often jack-a-deal. Yeah. No, I don't think anything. I just got on Alexa Proud. I'm not a whack of you. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever

taken anything? Cock? Yeah. A lot of cock. When I was in college, I tried to do, uh, oh, man. One of the anti-depressants. I don't know which one I did. It was all off. Yeah, one of those. But I think your penis doesn't work, right? No, mine still did. Oh, nice, brother. Yeah. Mine still did. It wasn't that. I felt, uh, like a woman. Time-depressed. Yeah. I'm mad about the word. I mean, you're supposed, isn't everyone depressed?

everyone, you should, everyone should be depressed, right? Yeah, varying levels. Yeah. All the

sad. All the time. No. I mean, it's, yeah, if you're going to die one day. So that's really sad. Yeah. You don't get to be alive after that. I'm on the fence about it. It's like, I am depressed,

“but it's like, I mean, that's, I think that's what drives. Yeah. This is right about this. It's”

just thinking about LA comedy. They fucking talk like there's like women to each other. Not like a new you all. Not like a new y'all. You got all those kings of comedy out there, Mustang down the walls of these sensitive guys. I, I rewatched the King's Special in Seattle this weekend. It was my favorite comedy special as a kid. Oh, King's a comedy? Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. It's so fun. It's so good. The fucking Titanic that is, I think it's the funniest and a bit of all

time. That's whenever that one, the Steve, the Steve Titanic, but uh, oh my god, he's unbelievable. What a genius. Give it. He did. Well, it's the same joke about it. If black people. Yeah. Yeah. But do it in the town. He said, I hated that dry ass, long ass movie. He's like, uh, something about the little boy that killed that kid drown these motherfuckers. Yeah. Yeah. So he savashes that he

“doesn't like the movie Titanic. Yeah. And then he says, uh, you know, what, uh, you never hear about”

3,000 black people dying at the same time, which is like, you know, that's a joke. We, you know, like, uh, it wouldn't have been like that. It hadn't been black people. And he's like, you saw that movie, the band can't play. It doesn't ship went down. And he's like, what kind of black band keeps playing? Cool in the game would have been rude. That's funny. Yeah, funny. And then, uh, and then he talks about how he does this act out, which is this really takes

it to the next stratosphere where he has this tiny little side table. And he turns it over and uh, he's like, I would have been turned over the damn table. And uh, and then there's a dinner nap can on top. And he's like, open it up and attack it. And then he does this thing where he's blowing on the dinner, like, like a sail in these kicking people. Thank you, Robert. Yeah. Yeah. Are you Robert? Yeah. Robert Lee? Yeah. How do you want? Okay. I like Robert Lee. It's,

it makes you, it instantly, like, uh, yeah, like a, oh, my straw. Robert Lee, oh, general. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have the same name as the, is the general. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

“Wow. Your middle name is, uh, young, young Lee. Yeah. With an E? What, what the? Why?”

Young, lean. You have the best name of all time. Young, lean. Wow. That song was so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love, yeah. I love music. Now you love young, you love young, you love young, I think he's, he's really cool. Yeah. This kid, that's this kid's great. Bitches, come and go. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. This is, you know that, uh, Robert. He doesn't know that. You don't know? That's a reference that is not going to go near him. What kind of music do you

listen to karaoke? Oh, that come on. Do you? That's good. Stop it. Yeah. Yeah. Why? What? I like it. I like it. I like it. I think someone pouring their heart out. But no, I'm more like, you know,

I've always been more into, like, you know, alt, alty kind of stop, you know. That's not true.

You know what I mean? You like commercial shit. Like coal play. Sure. I love coal play. Yeah. First two albums pretty good. Yeah. You like commercial shit too. Yeah. You like all of it. I like all of it. Yeah. Yeah. I love, I love coal play. Yeah. Yeah. You have his number? No. I don't know. Oh, okay. I like bands like the Pixies and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Who got Zia like cool Sonic Youth. And what's Andrew Warren? You know, he's into everything. Like he is a true. He likes everything. Hip hop historian. I love hip hop. Yeah. Yeah. He knows a

little bit of everything. Big, big wicker. Big wicker as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a jazz guy. I like soul. Yeah. I told Jay to kiss when he came on the show. I came out of the closet. I was like, I feel bad, but I used to me and Jewish guys used to walk the door and put on Mitchell and Nesson just pretend to be like you. And he was like that. He thought it was cool. I had to come clean. Why would you think he would like it though? I mean it's embarrassing. So what? Yeah. He'd be like yeah, you're pussy. I don't know.

I have found out from the from the talk show that rappers have gotten along with rappers and it it has made me feel love comedy. It's a lot of them do. It's a dream. I mean it's like a bar mitts for something to find the approval of a rapper. It's huge. Yeah. I had G Herbo on the show

on your show. Yeah. And we got along famously and it was like, uh, I was like, it's incredible.

It's incredible. I mean he's probably killed like three, maybe. But three is not that bad. Three is not a lot. Five five enough. He grew up in like fucking literally blackhawk down.

I mean, yeah. What happens? I mean, why is it so tough? Okay, I can't do what happened. 13-year-olds have guns. Oh, they don't know. Yeah. Kids have guns. It's like legal. Correct me if I'm wrong. It's legal under a certain line of demarcation for, uh, like if you're

your black, if you kill another black person, basically. But like North, if you like, uh,

but the cops aren't going to stop anything. No one's going to break anything up. They should I mean, they should probably, right? No. No. No. You got to let it go. Do you have Lori

“Lightfoot's number? Yeah. You want to call her? I'm trying to fuck you. Trying to fuck?”

Who's the average number? Who's that? Fuck no. Lower lightfoot. Yeah. She's the, uh, didn't Trump call her Mayor Crackhead. Mayor Crackhead. Yeah. That wasn't very nice. Chicago's homicide rate per capita significantly higher than New York City and Los Angeles, Philadelphia being the closest. Not still. He's still not us, Philly. Because when I'm in Shumberg, I don't, I don't feel it.

No, that's not where we're, that's not, that's not it. Yeah. No, it's crazy there. I just see many, many malls. Yeah, that's all the malls. I mean, he's Rose Monks. No one's going to click up there. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I played the improv. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So from the Shumberg improv, how far do I have to go? It's north, south side. It's southeast from there.

“And it's Shumberg north of Chicago. Shumberg is northwest of Chicago. North west, right?”

So how far would have to drive down to get the South? Like an hour to get to where you want. Wouldn't where I want to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you don't want to go. Yeah, but if I step out of the car, I'm like, hello. What would happen? They're probably mad. They go, that's a bomb. Not mad TV. All the fuck mad TV. Mad TV. Yeah. You'd be good. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be good. You would. Yeah. Yeah. If I go, and I step out and they go,

that's a motherfucker that went that dude on man. It'd be like, oh, it's Miss Swan. That go, Miss Swan. Oh, it's the Miss Swan. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're like, oh, he was under in just like that. He did the podcast with Carrie. He was fabulous. Carrie and Chady has.

I love. I watched the whole thing. I had no idea what was going on on that chart. Wait, I never

ran it. I just didn't know. Wait, you were in a fan? I had no idea about what it was all about. Why? Because I put it in the work. I know it all about it. I mean, they call it, I mean, I was totally sexy to the city. Culturally know what it is. You culturally? Yeah. Yeah. But, um, you look great. That's sure it's cool. Did you bring your own words? They made you wear that. And this is what people like you wear, right? It's like a pop or Aussie style. It is. That looks like you

guys are just out in LA and the stars are just like us. Yeah. And just like that. And just that stars are like us. She was very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had her in my show and gay fellow told me that I showed her in a light that no one has. And if I'll really, if a gay person says that, they know this shit. Wow. Yeah. They know this type of shit. What kind of light did you show her in? I, as like a her personality and like a, just, yeah, through a genuine way.

Then I, I tried to do that on the show. So it's like kind of a sweet. It was a really nice, I mean, if a, a sauna might, a homosexual, if a butt, a butt pirate says that to you. Why not a butt pirate? But pirate? I was an insane butt pirate. But you know what? Surprisingly, like, she was surprisingly kind of down to earth. And yeah. And the experience wasn't like, because my, my fear is, oh my god. You know what I mean? Because if she was rude,

that would be like, I don't want to do this. Yeah. I mean, but it's just like she was pretty cool.

“You know, so. Yeah. Yeah. Did you rip ass on set? Did you ever rip ass around any? What?”

I asked her. Yeah. We did a thing where we asked her, um, I did like fake questions from like friends. And I got Caleb to leave. What are the voicemails? And he's like, hey, like, um, I just want to address the elephant in the room. Like, was there ever a time where like, Charlotte or Miranda, you just like farted, like, really disgustingly, like, yeah. All you're making the show and like, who's your favorite character, boyfriend? And she was like, she was like, I think that's the one that pushed a little far.

She's very proper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like a reader. Yeah. Did you ever tell you about that? No. No. Well, I

feel like the rebokes. You didn't chat with. Yeah. What? You never chat with. Oh, no. This was, we were like sitting.

She's like reading something. You know, I mean, I'm playing a candy crotch. Yeah. Really, you didn't, you didn't vibe out. Whoa, cook good morning. Good morning. Is that something? Yeah. Yeah. Really. Yeah. Oh, so you're not making your song. Good. Yeah. No, I would say. And she'd be reading. He'd be reading. He'd be reading. It's like, how was your, do you say, well, I got. She asked about your morning. Yeah. And that kind of good morning. Yeah. Yeah. That's the last thing. I should go. Have you been up to Sedona or something? She said that. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not really

nice. I think that's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice. It's summer year. Did you get jade on your show from a guy named Vinnie Vinnie? Vinnie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he told me he knows you. One of my good friends.

he's the one of one tattoo. He's the man. We know the man. You met Vinnie. You met him. You met him. You don't have any other business. On his ass, he has the Dallas Cowboys star next to a Palestinian flag. Yeah. What is that? Not the same tattoo. The combination of those two things is

“unbelievable. Well, Jerry Jones is Palestinian. That's why he was. Yeah. Yeah. He was a, yeah. He was in”

the PFLP for a while. That might look like a Dallas Cowboys star. Now it's just a star, but it covered up a what? A name? What was it? It was a butterfly butterfly. That's right. What? It's so you were like, I'm embarrassed to have a butterfly somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was, when I was drinking, I had a butterfly tattoo there. Okay. I was drunk and then I was embarrassed

I put a star on top of that. That's a good story. Wait. You have tattoos or no? No. I've never

respect for any tattoo I've ever seen ever. It's like street art. Yeah. I'm going to look at a fucking feeling like wow. Yeah. No, no. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's it. Why would I do that? Yeah. I just don't. Ridiculous to get that for Lily. Forever. Silly. For ever. He's got him all over. Wow. Well, I like the Mad TV tattoo. Man. He's like, and you've actually earned that one too. Yeah. It's comedy store. How many seasons were you Mad TV? Eight years. Oh my god. You're the cool. That's

“so cool. Yeah. I was on air. Yeah. It was so cool back on. It was so funny. Yeah. It was it was just,”

I used to watch it. But I just just see something though. I prefer this. SNL? No, I did. Oh, sorry. I mean, I got with you like this thing. This kind of thing. Yeah, there's no notes. There's no somebody saying, you know what I mean? You can't do that. Well, these are the conversations that comics have. Yeah. Yeah. When no one's watching. Yeah. You said, there's no like, oh, you're 20 minutes late with the fuck. You know what I mean? They said that on Mad TV to you? You can trouble

if you were like an hour late or whatever. Really? Yeah. How did Arnie survive? I wasn't all with him, but, you know, he barely survived. Yeah. Yeah. The story tells about the pig things. Yeah. The funny.

Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You never did anything with him. No. I never met him. I mean, I know him now.

But like back then you did no crossover. No crossover. No. I crossover with Alex Borsley, who did this one, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, I thought, I never went. I thought, where you like, hey, this is what the hell is this? Oh, no. No, you came up with that? No, I didn't call it a no. But if someone was doing a character on Mad TV with me, like, has she testure with the pedophile? Yeah. I would be like a little bit like, you're a black guy. Why are you doing for me? It's comedy. There's no bounds. There's no bounds.

He's also. There's no bounds. He's so good at it. He's so good at it. He's so good. Yeah. My friend, actually, his mom was a dentist. She did Alex Borsley's teeth. Oh, no, no. No, he, no, he wrote a letter to Mad TV. And he, he said he loved the Miss Swan character. And she sent back a what he called headshot and it said, Phil, you look like a man. And then she signed it. Yeah. And he had a next stone cold thing because his mom didn't stone cold teeth. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Look at like he looked like a man.

Phil, you look like a man. Yeah. That's so funny. Who wrote that? She did. Really, she came up with it with the character. Yeah. You think, you know, that she said to me when I got on the show, she pulled me aside. She goes, get off the show. It quickly. She said that to you because I hate it here. Oh, I thought she was like, I don't want to see you. It's celestial ass around. Listen, you look. How long was she on? Three or four years. She's lowest. No. Yes. Yeah. Wow. She's the,

“she's the best lady of all time. The best. Oh, my God. You have her number? No. Why didn't you get her?”

There's some cast members. Why just never clicked with. She was one of them. She was one of them.

Yeah. Do you play clubs here when you're in town or no? No, no, no, no, no. Come to the store. Come to the right. Are you there tonight? Are you there tonight? No, I'm out. Now how low you mean? I'm other night. When are you there? Really. Next week Monday. Oh, you're gonna do Monday. That's Monday. Yeah. Yeah. You have Jay's number? No. Yeah. You have Jay's number. He's upstairs. What? Jay. Jay. Jay. Jay. Jay. I love him so much. He comes to the store now more.

I don't know why he's been coming up. He has. He's amazing. Everyone says that. I don't know his. But the late 70s, they say everyone was like, that was the best comic I've ever seen. Well, you know, and then the store was the divide between him and Letterman. It was either you or his side or his side. Well, yeah, and then he crossed the picket line during the strike. How pathetic is that striking? Yeah. Yeah. From what? From what? From what? He's dead. How pathetic. We're gonna start a union.

What does the fucking lame is a rob? Give it to me. Oh, yeah, but they never got paid anything. I know, the store was getting all the money. Yeah. I mean, Jay like Jay like crossed the picket line in a fucking like clown car or something. And then midsea gave a drink ticket. Yeah. You know so much about that. Me? Yeah. I was there dude. I was there brother. Yeah. Oh my god. You should have seen it. Yeah. Yeah. You should have seen it. That was the good thought.

Yeah. That's specifically everybody knows those stories. But that's also why like young people divided on who they liked more was Letterman or Leno.

“Yeah. But I hated that. I hated that. I hated that. I liked all of them. Yeah. But it became this kind of thing.”

It's like you deserve rolling stone. Yeah. Yeah. It's bullshit. I mean, I like Conan as a kid because he was silly.

Love Conan. Yeah. It was like a sloppy fun show. But I loved Jay. Just just finding it was a make.

There they come on. They're friends. I'm friends. They're a friend. Yeah, just finding dumbasses and asking them one plus one.

“Or you want to plug anything? Adam Freelish. Oh. Did girls come to your guys shows?”

It's all guys. It's all guys. It's all in the direction. We're doing it at the capital next.

Actually because of the talk show, there's like more now there's like, yeah, like parents. I would say we get a lot of couples. We get couples. Yeah. A lot of couples. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I actually girls like this show. Well, you guys are more sexy and bold kind of style. Thank you. For me. I commend. Yeah. I just lose or no. I love boys. Shout out to the year the craziest. If they let out the insane asylum or Adam look in the camera and go,

“um, what? Thank you for being a bad friend. I mean, that's how we close the show. All right. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah. That's good.”

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. What do you guys do that? You make the guess do? That's fine. Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah!

Woo! Woo! Yeah!