Hey, bad friends.
Get your tickets right now. Then I'll be down in Del Mar at the sound in San Diego, bro. Surf sub June 28. I'm doing two shows early in a late show.
“And then July 24th. I'm at the Maristar casino in St. Charles, Missouri, which might as well be St. Louis, Missouri. Come out and see me go to Andresantino.com for those tickets. Andresantino.com.”
Hey, everybody, Bobby Lee here. You know, I shot a special. And so I'm going to do the finally tour before the special comes out.
I want to be in Detroit, 424 Indianapolis, 425 Montclair, 5-1 Atlantic City, 5-2. Just go to my website and check out the other dates. I'm Edford, 5-3 San Antonio, 5-15. And go check it out. It's going to be a theater tour. My first one and come see me live. Good to Bobby Lee, dot live. You two are bad friends. You were these two idiots. I did an Asian dude, you two are disgusting. Really you two are something. The bad friends. It's most like dog food in here. Yep. Rock, rock.
Bobby, I just got here. I yelled at the host for putting the Mike stand low. You know how they try to get a laugh.
Yeah, yeah. Because I'm small. I've done. I do that. I know. And it makes me so angry.
But I won't yell at you. But I want it. If you ever do that again, I will rip you.
“I've gotten that for you. Yeah, yeah. The low voice. Because it's trying to get a laugh that I'm sure, right?”
But it's not my laugh. It's their laugh. You know what I mean? It's their residue laugh. Yeah. Left over laugh. When they're not even on stage, they try to get a laugh. Yeah. And they're in the back going. But I mean, I mean, that Mike's doing a little, you know, I bet you Brad gets that Williams. Oh, dude. I do the opposite from Fred follows me. Yeah, I put it as high as I can. That's see. That's the same thing.
It's the same thing. But it's funny. For you. For all of us. For Brad. It's.
for Brad it's a whole extra thing he has to do for me it's I you know what I have I get a laugh yeah but then I have to go I'm small do that face like oh oh the world got made me right and then Brad asked to bring it down yeah it's funny it's for for the person before but it's not our laugh all right you know we're not going to do any no more fun
“yeah no more comedy okay I think we're done with comedy yeah all weekend long all weekend long that's not what I'm saying”
what I'm saying is is oh my gosh Brad left his toothbrush here at the studio and it's been and it's been another thing is um get it off your chest when like one time I was in the OR and Steve burn halfway during myself grabbed the mic from the side of the stage and walked up on stage and then goes let's do a duo let's play with a crowd and that made me hate so mad this is very funny you know he at San Francisco at the last time I just played punch he showed up and he came on stage and the
animal did you ask him to come up or did you just come up on stage he just came up no are you real I'm being serious yeah yeah yeah but I welcome to the open arms I thought yeah I don't walk it with open arms you didn't want it he's half Korean oh he's not a full yeah you got to be a fully to pull that kind of stunt yeah yeah yeah you got to be a full I actually totally agree yeah yeah it no because it's like I'm in the middle of a setup and all of a sudden what's up without asking
and it's just like I don't like that also from a from a outsider's perspective it looks like your Korean uncle who's got it together because he wears a suit is coming to like yeah yeah yeah talk you down a little bit let me do comedy for you yeah because he wears suits yeah and we were close yeah I also don't like this I just realize right give it to me give me the I don't I want to give you the the feature smile what is it so what what happens is your your back stage
that just put the status in Prague and Ramsay Badao you had a really good set before me and so there's a curtain and he opens it and he has a smile right at you yeah like he knows he killed right yeah if you do feature smiles again no feature smiles no no I need a frown I know what you did I heard it I tell my features no smiling at all no comedy I say go up there say hello yeah yeah tell people where you're from yeah tell them the favorite foods you have
yeah and that's it and then get off yeah bring up the headliner and then the last thing I want to just get off my chest I love stuff on your chest cause yeah are you being real yeah I want you to get it off your chest okay so um what I hate needy hosts was that good was that funny no
At a local you know nice girl she's already brutally I mean verbalize it it's...
then so should we be talking about it yeah well I could just be vague about it it's going to
ruminate feelings again then for her she's going to hear this a hundred percent and be like that's about you know maybe it's going to teach her lesson teach
“did she bomb no she's a great oh then okay no she's a great I think she has a future”
ah yeah yeah yeah but can I be a car salesman she has a future well how was uh I was welcome to open might night lot the open might night lot oh it's a lot yeah yeah we have many new new open up micers here all new new new new yeah yeah we've got uh look at this uh one this is
uh this one's a called cat bird really quick snappy yeah and it's like you know me it's an
engine that grows yeah yeah you know me it's a slim design right and it creates food she was she was married to a chef that she was a chef he was a Michelin star chef that's not sure she worked at Michelin star restaurant that doesn't make you a Michelin star chef if you worked at a fucking super water yeah yeah yeah yeah and then chef got too much caviar what are you fucking doing yeah um anyway um did off your chest so this is cappard um this is another model
we have okay is it yeah there's a foreign no it's black it's a black sleek called a devontre
this is this is a good car it's a gray car it's the it's also the best selling it's got to be yeah
this car though you're gonna love this car it's car right here right oh it doesn't look like it asks a lot of questions yeah yeah it's like nitrate it talks a whole time it talks no time you can't turn it off yeah yeah I don't know you mean you're driving get fast on the rolls yeah it talks a lot yeah yeah there's no off button oh there's no switch no unless you turn it off unless you're maybe talking to yourself at night you know I mean but yeah yeah maybe it'll run
out of gas but it's a lot of like you know I mean you know so what how do I make it to this how do I do this inquisitive inquisitive like you know how do you make it you know I mean who how do we get an
“agent this and that you know I mean and then it's like you know you have to go hey you have to have”
that conversation of like you know you know I'm the polar opposite I'm like I'll give you an Excel spreadsheet on how to do everything that you're asking me no I did I did tell her what to do you did you give her the hints yeah I gave her like this is what you did and then I but I don't think that she got what I was saying well you can lead a horse to water but it'll eventually be glue that's what they say that's the same yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean while Carlos is wearing a wind hat
you because you guys were at the wind you bought that hat or they give us those hats no I bought it I got the same one at Caesar's years ago I know I remember the specific it's uh I might soak a syrup because I don't want I should have brought it and fancy got that throughout his fear hat everywhere I go in the casino yeah we're spoken Bobby bro yeah where's I get that every time at the airport why can't we make a shirt and you know where's Bobby we're a Santina we should
make sure to say where's Bobby yeah we had a great time by the way I had a conversation with my driver my Uber driver on the way to the airport so nice so nice but I was very tired yeah we had a long weekend I just kind of wanted a chill and he was chatty chatty you think she was a dude he was chatty bang bang he was very inquisitive you don't know the rules what do you mean what you do what do I do I open with a statement you say I don't want to talk
no what are you saying okay hey dude I'm going to be listening to music so if you need anything just you know I mean that's smarter hand up but he was a fan but my earphones are even on anyways then anyway okay so the Uber driver super nice guy he's a big fan loves bad friends loves you how do you know he vocalized verbally or through handling ways you were non-verbal it was non-verbal the facial expression he goes bad friend yeah that's verbal yeah that's bad friends
“yeah yeah no this is bad friends and yeah yeah that's what he did that he said he loved us yeah”
and then he was talking and I said he was talking he was like oh I just drove back from LA blah blah blah
He's coming in the car for like 30 hours oh my man I was like oh that's crazy...
gift sent to me from my home country for my sister's wedding or something and they go pick it up
so that's cool we're we're originally from Pakistan and immediately I'm in like a mood like I he's trying to talk about and I just all I kept thinking about was those videos from Pakistan that's like do you know Pakistan you know those videos and I started talking and he goes I love those videos yeah I'm going to be pilot I did what really do for Pakistan and so I'm literally just yelling at him like that in the car yeah I'm not in letting
get another word out I keep going I love it Pakistan is great and then he goes I have no problem with that I'm Pakistani I have Indian friends he's open up this gate I'm like oh no I just think
the videos are funny he's like no but I understand there's a lot of hatred in the world right now
“as far as it and I was like oh no I think he oh no and he goes and I'm Muslim and he goes my barber is Jewish”
and then he starts keep talking I go Jewish barber I have you ever Jewish barber is that a thing yeah I mean how would it disappointment for the family does that Jewish barber go to another an American barber to attack the Muslim guy nobody says I'm Muslim and he goes well I'm not a practicing yeah he's like I'm not like you know praying five times a day and then that logged in my brain for the rest of the time I can hear you say five times there's a lot of times
a day he says he prays five times and not anymore he can't it's exhausting yeah but also why would they do that why not breakfast lunch and dinner it's called Fajir sunrise to who are a sir my grib and isha but the thing is is that it can be quick or I do a prayer right now go that's it I mean what you are facing east yeah yeah I mean that how quick was that prayer that was really
“and if I did that five that imagine it's over if Bobby was Muslim yeah and had to pray”
you know the little rug that they have oh yeah imagine how he would have the most like fancy vintage cool rug he would have to have the dopest rug out of all the rug it would be the high end yeah Monkler rug it would be yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it would be the dopest you would have a fancy rug oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and different brands though too I would do a billincy aga a billincy aga rug you know then just for like a friday oh my god club and you know I mean I would have a Monkler one
I would have a um if golden goose had a grug that'd be cool I guarantee they'd make and then a made one row where it's a kind of tatter and looking old school like you know made from like a 50 vintage it's a vintage but brand new rug yeah yeah yeah you Muslim dude yeah I'll get my sign up sign up and go Muslim why not well five times this is a lot you know it's a lot of times to stop and roll out to yeah it's it I would probably go zoroastrianism oh there's only like 600 of them on planet earth
and I don't even know exactly what they practice but that seems like what it's also before Christ you mean so before Christianity I mean BC yeah BC so it's like um I think I would go
“zoroastrianism that's how cocky Christians are what they name time before their own time I know but”
it's still their time exactly BC still is us you like well Christ not exist yet I know but it's still
our time because it's always been it's awesome I mean how do you feel about I think I'm being
affected about the world around me or what's the war and all that stuff you know I was at marshmallow nightclub last year I don't know what's going on in the world dude yeah we went out till 430 5 in the morning yeah unbelievable what are we doing we were like they were like you want to get a marshmallow I was like yeah I guess yeah wow you went to marshmallow huh I didn't go to that yeah yeah he went to his room I went to sprinkles I got cupcakes you do yeah yeah yeah
I see the sprinkles the sprinkles cupcake vending machines there's no way they're making money you don't want to buy it I don't know that's how long has it been in there yeah it's closed down yeah oh it's closed down they're all closed yeah LA but Dubai do you buy um like headphones from the fun the kiosk so one time I did have to buy yeah because I forgot mine on a long trip so and I thought who's buying it I was I was a guy people but yeah yeah I'm sitting there too and I'm
ashamed yeah yeah people people passing by like dude who buys that yeah what are you doing but imagine like you know like going you buy candy bar and you get stock right you're like it's 60 cents right but in the air pot but doing an air pot a Bose you know me an air pot that's 300 dollars I imagine that getting stock and you're like bang you have the fucking machine it's 300 dollars you're buying meta glasses and they're stuck imagine imagine a kid getting stuck in there
you know how they do in fucking those uh crawl the gray machine how did they get them nerd is it yeah yeah yeah so they're getting stuck there either me some sweet little nerd yeah wow why so
Sandals I was good you know I love it up there well I mean I played that room...
years and it's like it's very comfortable but it's you know it's the same thing where it's like
“I gotta do that place yeah yeah it's a great club I never done it wow I know I just never did an”
improv run wow it's a theater you love it no no I just mean I'm only done a few improvs I never
really did a bunch of improvs yeah but you used to do that all the time I'm an improv guy but you used to do sandals like twice a year sometimes yeah it's crazy it's a great audience but you know how I've been going to the comedy so for so long that when I go in there I feel nauseous what do you mean because it's I've been there so long that it just kind of makes me want to go this again what yeah like if there's a nausea that happens you're losing the love of the store no I
love I've always loved it but it's it's like it's like you know going into your living room I love my living oh you do you don't feel nausea sick in my house yeah you can experience it from visiting the same place repeatedly do the several factors in condition response environmental triggers yeah yeah yeah I've had a lot of trauma at the store back in the day I don't know there's just something about that but but sandals the improv has the same effect you get nauseous when you go
when I walk into the bit I just feel nauseous well that's not good it's not good it's just because I've been going there for so long and it's a like just stop then well no I mean maybe
“I'm day nine not smoking you guys come on that's a huge deal day nine is I think they say”
what's the day that you stop what's the like the crest what day is like you finally get over the hump of snots smoking it's got to be like two weeks you gotta be getting close I want this for you so bad after the first week okay so seven to ten days is when you're gonna start to clear up and then two to four weeks you're gonna be clean ready to rock and roll yeah so anyway maybe
that had something to do with that but there's always a kind of a it's it's also what bumming
out was so the Friday first show you know it's a theater so it's like I go to the balcony and it's empty what do you mean no one's there the show's not on yet no it's starting and you're on the bow and no one so it's not sold out upstairs it they said it's all sold out people buy tickets and don't show up all the time I know but what happened was this is a date a year ago I never just showed up I just didn't show up you rescheduled it yeah so it was rescheduled
so all the tickets from that transferred over this right so like a lot of you just didn't show up yeah right and I um it blew me out I understand they cut the fucking cookies look at the cookies they little made for me that's the show was really nice this one's kind of my favorite I'm not gonna lie yeah well I'll have the one with me on it you know what's so funny about this cookie that's old bob do you notice that yeah that's old bob with long hair old bob and I saw a video of you posted
on the internet with old hair old bob hair yeah and I made me miss the long hair I'm growing it up
“you have to I am because I love when I'm I'm growing it up because old bob hair I like that when”
it was that long like it's gonna be long there's videos when we first started this podcast yeah
your hair was insane your hair was insane you know who didn't get hi this weekend Carlos he was a good boy and vagus no less he doesn't be on your back no he doesn't yeah yes I spoke to each remember I told you I was vaping in the room you were yeah I told you you said you're not doing anything dude what kind of boss are you did not a good one yeah right behind your back he even doesn't do you and you don't even listen well I'm a great boss you're not a great boss no I'm a good
boss now you're not a good boss dude it's like you're good you're you're a player goes a a boss I'm smoking weed right in front of your face yeah parent you're like he didn't do any drug this week and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay I'm you know what I know here's here's the problem here's the problem yeah when he vapes I don't know if it's weed or if it's he's just said he told you you he was the one yeah I was not paying
it that's all right I was busy good boy how away why did you say it I said I'm Andrew no look at me look at me right okay and what is Andrew doing Andrew goes you're being a good boy right I go yeah okay let me you're being a good boy right you guys are no I forget what else he says but I told me to say it the way you okay who cares what he said let him play the scene yeah yeah yeah let me play the scene right you're Andrew yeah you're being good boy huh you your your lip is bleeding
oh yeah yeah put some blood on your lip yeah it's fine go I had any blood you got it see he this is an actor prepares yeah I need an actor prepares there's a red there yeah you're being good boy huh no I'm just vaping we don't worry about it that's either
I was worried about my show what did I really say when you told me you were v...
you said that that was worse than smoking joints yeah it is yeah what's in those fucking things oh you mean so you lied to me no I just forgot you know sometimes I like to go out have a couple of sodas responsibly I'm an adult but when I drink alcohol get converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut and I'm telling you the buildup of this it's not dehydration it's this buildup that's to blame for those rough days after nights drinking at the bar and you got to
take zbiotics you know remember to take pre alcohol your first drink of the night drink
responsibly and you're gonna feel so good tomorrow I always feel so much better when I take this
before I have a couple uh a couple of fun nights out okay and you will too it's uh make sure recovery so much easier and faster versus just chugging water and drinking soup all afternoon from the fairways in August at the first pitch of baseball season and the start of festival circuits April is a sprint of outdoor celebrations don't let a rough next day keep you on the sidelines drink pre alcohol to stay ahead of the game and make the most of every sunny Saturday
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I'm like at the San Jose improv right they have a security guide that walks me to my hotel and I'm like I stop yeah but they do that for they do I don't need I know where to go they're but you're easily attackable people attack you all the time well but before like the other rest of the day you're free i'm just walking around alone in the same area and stuff like that why in this specific incident because you're under their totalage right back
you're under their they if you got her to be on them during that when they're done with you
“I think once I get out of the club it's free I agree yeah yeah I think it's like you know”
me our responsibly is over i don't because i always tell like you please just stay here
but he does like to smoke back in the day he would smoke behind the security guard and walk in very like like galvan behind the security and like dart is no idea that you know yeah you're sold free yeah you did when we were on tour you'd be walking behind the security and you do this you'd be like sexually smoke yeah yes you would piss me off everyone on that everyone's fucking not you you piss me off i've never done that you would roll man that's not the face no
Don't you no you would like cool like very like i'm you you're doing this wit...
you do when you walk do i when you walk with your cigarette you kind of bob a little bit
“and when you walk and then you're smoking then your eyes will be darting all romantic”
i'm listening to the dooby brothers or something no you're yeah i bob do i bob when i listen to the dooby brothers you're so yeah yeah you're dooby brothers listen to the music dude so it's like i'm dooby brother and you're romantic though yeah yeah yeah but it's like and i don't know if that's a security guard you think the behind the security guard you would walk dooby brother you would do be brother all right okay so anyway i took mushrooms last night
can you put that in yeah i felt amazing it was it was the last time you took mushrooms
a couple of weeks ago oh but was it a more of a dosage this one was higher yeah my tire yeah because i've been micro dosing oh you've been micro dosing my mental health yeah i'm genuinely happy and i heard it not helps uh i do feel much better at night yeah when i micro dos i do feel like the end of the day i don't have as much anxiety before i go to bed because i used to lay
“and wake and bed at night i haven't come in three weeks start micro dosing yeah yeah because”
the legs are pro way really yeah so you can't not i can't cut what comes out i can't not nothing i mean i haven't even tried really yeah it's weird did they have something to come back that they do no i'm two three blue two now blue two gold yeah an oxenela malloloc a long yeah
so many ingredients an oxenela malloloc that you will that they again no i did and i watched i
watched my cousin play roulette and i was feeling fantastic oh your cousin was there yeah was he juicin too or what he was having a great time yeah he is he's so funny but then when when i was using in Mexico we weren't doing that oh yeah who you and i we were not having a good time when you were using in Mexico because yeah but because why is it not like why couldn't we have those other drug addict and you have no control because you you you you you don't use until you
get high and feel good you use until it's unmanageable till there's poop on the walls and you're screaming and you're pointing in my face in front of people going you fucking lied this is this no booze in it you fucking liar you know what you know what i love everyone you know why i'm you know what i'm i'm i'm ran from ran in stempie yeah you are yeah it's to be the dog runs the dog right it's a little weird dog yeah yeah i'm because i love ran because
ran so paranoid yeah that's yeah you know i mean and he gets in people's faces and he has these
“delusions you know i mean and i love that character somehow you're both of these guys i think so”
i am ran in stempie yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but i love that cartoon but anyway um yeah i got i ran out when i i'm like it's just when you you're you're up you're up to something no and then you pointed in my face and yelled at me front of everyone because you wanted booze and i lied to you and i got you yeah yeah because i know dumb dumb i know what you're doing but you were so fucked up i know but i know what you're doing what protecting you yeah yeah but i can i'll just get my own drink
i mean you flew to Mexico with a suitcase full of drugs full of drugs you open your suit and i guess what i flew back with no drugs yeah because of us no i did it all okay okay you're right yeah yeah you did but that's called magic that is called magic in a weird way okay so it's like
but we never had that when next time i go out no you're not going yeah yeah yeah no shut the
fuck up all right i'm tired of this fucking bullshit i'm boss too all right your boss i'm a two yeah like the vice president i'm jade event you kind of are yeah yeah yeah you know you're not going to go out what i'm saying is the next time i go out you mean god forbid it doesn't happen right i want to night i want to go to marshmallow okay you can go to marshmallow without use i know you know i know i want to go to marshmallow i want to be on strong i want to be on
ketamine you mean i want to go yeah yeah i want to go to Vegas i want to be able to like walk out of fucking bathroom and go yeah are you okay you mean but actually i have cocaine in my nose no yeah yeah yeah i want that next time it's never going to happen but hypothetically it could and what i'm saying is is that the next time don't cut me out because the lesson i went out you cut me out you were all being parental because you were you were that doesn't matter no i
want good time i want your mad that we are protecting you i don't want to be protected dude i want to go to marshmallow you mean i want to go out with Andreas you know i mean and have those times we can do it without alcohol no no next time no we can't have those times because i'm all fucking Christian on the road now you're not Christian on the road yeah yeah but i'm like i'm going to bed now yeah but we did that too i do that i know you eventually did but like i do
it at like eleven yeah yeah so what my point being is is that you know you guys can have your all your Vegas night life and still and i get cut out when i'm out what's because you
You can't because you're this i can you're a drug addict it's a label and i r...
i know i am one he is yeah i know but he's not why he's he okay he's he's not okay we're very
“can i know what that why when i when i wasn't okay because we care more about you”
you make more money you're famous you're worth more in this world oh so if you passed away from an overdose no if i like made a movie all of a sudden y'all would like talk to me more probably and care more about my health i talked to have every day yeah i should have said more this bit is so stupid we care about all of you equally the differences you have control your addiction right now he does not i know but but i can't do anything what do you want me to do
with him fire him should we fire him maybe maybe when he's like you know me hey hey dad i'm smoking weed right in front of you that's not bad though did you smoke weed if i'm just smoking weed that's so chill that's like going a war and just like showing up for a day with a gun or you're like just outside of carguerland yeah i just you're you're you're on a ship you're man yeah just you don't know if you're gonna attack carguerland yet is that what it is i don't know
a carguerland you know a carguerland it's an island be right there that's one of your i-ranker theories no it's not a theory it's an iranian island you mean they have you know mean oil reserves there and and and you've been watching so much like i know how much eran stuff you've been looking at it it's all day every day i know 24 hours a day i'm not seeing what i was
“saying before you have to stop is there a carguerland yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and what's on carguerland”
probably oil reserve still yeah a bunch of sand yeah oh my god now he's being fucking race stop there's more sand in the middle of everywhere has sand okay there's oil reserves exactly that's what i just said carguer island is a 7.7 square mile coral island in the Persian Gulf that serves as iran's primary oil export terminal right and and and there's now like questions if the US miller marines are gonna charge carguerland to control of it to it's so
good David admiral as the marines charm you know yeah i mean i'm sorry i'm consumed about the war why you're not a soldier i'm an american citizen i just paid a hundred and thirty dollars of the pump and i and i drive a mo pad and that's a lot all right i drive a mo pad was i how much yeah yeah hundred thirty dollars to fill up your tank no it was like 80 something but i usually to pay eighty dollars yeah but i used to only pay and that's my my small car 55
dollars fifty dollars do you do the cheap gas no i did supreme good what does that mean that's actually
a really good question yeah what i mean i never knew can you explain to me the three different
unled it unled a premium and then supreme can you cool cars get the fancy one in the city like air one water oh it is no tell tell me the difference because i don't know so i will tell you yeah yeah so a combustion engine right what explain that let's start with a car so car so the car so the beep beep yeah room room oh okay beep room oh okay all done so a combustion engine right little explosions have to take place within
these pistons right and these pistons that are in your car that fire that make it go fast and have have torque right and have power and drive yeah higher octane right the higher octane numbers they fire out of cleaner and faster rate so faster nicer cars like f1 they need highest octane levels so they use supreme they do their own did they have a different octane they have octane that we can't get f1 gas i need that yeah i didn't we get that i don't think your moped can handle that
again no all right i doubt it never to tire octane gas it burns cleaner and it fires cleaner
“and it's out cleaner for the engine higher octane but it's more expensive but that's what it is”
that's essentially why people do so but people who have like a just a luxury car like to say someone that has a BMW okay i just a regular BMW right and they put in the most expensive highest octane it's meaningless they should just put it but the only reason you would need a higher octane level in your cars if your engine requires a higher minimum because of the performance of the engine so performance cars need them so in what my my Hyundai you mean your moped
in my moped yeah i put supreme in right just thinking that it's better for the engine or whatever it's pointless no it is hypothetically better for the engine it's going to burn cleaner well don't don't want them that i'll just keep doing that but it's not going to make your engine and it's not going to make your your it's not going to make your moped go faster i'm not trying to go room room so so then put in the cheapest you but i want my engine to be healthy it's not even
Your car oh that's right yeah you're going to give it back yeah don't do that...
least by the way to every american if it's a least fucking put the shitiest gas in there you can
“find go to sick lair where the dinosaur is where it's like a dollar eighty six the tarp has”
real shit not go to the tarp it's the brand good all around scoop it i scoop it i stick it manually do it yeah manually do it this is the funny thing about the cookies that i'm knowing i'm delicious yeah is they were like doing shout out to you know they did white noise cookie
the whiskey ginger they did that bad for you did the johns see them will be we're never going to be
cool leads in a thing you have a people think that you're cool already who i'm sorry when you're in Vegas did no one come up to show up to you show up by a ticket well Carlos can actually tell you unfortunately nobody came oh my bad we went off for a nice little fancy dinner we had a great little dinner Carlos paid the bill that's unbelievable he paid the bill through my tour money you haven't paid me yeah we haven't even started my tour money yeah we yeah you haven't paid me yeah
but but my your future future tour money i paid him my future tour my i paid to lie love a future money yeah yeah that which is my money yes a bobby will pay you inform yeah yeah so i pay
for your dinner hey yeah you know he didn't pay for the dinner you know damn well yeah yeah in fact
i don't think any of them have paid for the dinner i have paid for dinner before which one wait a minute time out before you get what are you raising your hand for when have you paid for a dinner i paid for our breakfast one time when when i was over there at the white place with uh with the with the with the weird squid oh you and him was it a cool corn rally what what what what i definitely wasn't there with the white hood and the white faces yeah what i mean what
did you know what because i didn't know my wallet or something no you're like you're paying a day so okay okay that's good good have you ever paid a meal for me we don't we've gone we've gotten food together once that's so natural that's not true which one where was it it was we you took me to sushi around my birthday where was it and then we went to see the mission of possible that's right we've done stuff together one time yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was one time but
a great one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't do like a little like you know
“me white hats white days yeah we don't do that yeah yeah yeah i think you do a nice sushi restaurant”
and a fucking fine ass movie tickets right yeah i don't do a white face white head you know I mean yeah so it's like you just fart no it was just it was but yeah um so you and Andrea say if you ever paid for a meal i don't think so i don't think we ever been to a meal together well it's bad friends we have as a group we have yeah yeah yeah you don't think we
yeah one one we've never had a meal together no i think that we have that kind of relationship yeah
he's just too cool for us now he's got a kid yeah yeah he's over it kind of makes me mad this is that whole thing you know i'll be on it i think it's on you no yeah there's no you know i call you a lot you know i mean you only text me i call you a lot you only text me i think it's you i know that's not true but i'm just going no no that really is i call one my lot about what yeah about what do i not call you what's it about you have called me but
about what what did you want out why are you interested in me um what do you a girl yeah yeah why do you like me but um tell me why you like happy birthday text oh that was a text yeah yeah um you mean what time is bad friends yes yeah what time is bad friends yeah yeah
“and then but you have to read behind the context of it more than just what yeah yeah scramble the”
word you pardon me to say i love you in front of his friends yeah you should say i love you yeah i mean these are the things i'm talking about it it's like there's more resistance when it comes to you than me because he has a lot of repression fancy has a lot of repression yeah repressed feeling he gets really uncomfortable and then when he got drunk he got really touchy feeling with hey yeah did you not and that's when you're real self comes where the defense goes down yeah
and this is how i really feel well i tell you he wants to be a star now because i pitched a little show about me and him going to like a local bar to me like showing him with a local watering hole is like yeah and literally the other day after the episode is like Andrew when are we going to do this show where do you and i go to that bar and who's name is on top he wants to headline the show wow and by the way that only reminds me of McCone that breakfast that reminds me yeah
this is the funniest part i know that i did that to you just to tease you you know to be like oh you pay the time but i also know that's stayed with you for a while you've been thinking about it
How much was it no how much was it like 30 dollars was it coffee it's way mor...
would have spent on breakfast but i was like can you talk into the mic i was also like this is a good this is a good thing why is it a good thing because i get so much it's nice to pay some back oh i say because he walks around like this all day i know he have i not given you cash before
“yeah you constantly give me yeah but you can't get me a breakfast if you want to go out for breakfast”
yes sure he does not want to go out for breakfast with me actually texted me the other day out of the blue what it's a he said uh Marty supreme is a film of two halves that's true yeah that's actually a very true statement what this is the New York Times yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's a critic no i mean i watch i watch i mean can i have not my own opinion about the movie
it is a film of two halves yeah yeah i i thought that the first half of the movie right was like
brilliant it was i thought the setup was good and then i think it just ran away from itself it became something else like there was a light editing that needed to be go on or whatever like get to the thing there was a lot of other movies other movies in there and they just i i got lost it in and you know at the end of the day good movie but you know i mean it doesn't deserve any rewards in my opinion shopify you know we have an online business here at bad friends and we
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Oscar. Yeah and he carried it in like a Jan sport backpack. Yeah it's amazing. Bubble wrap. I
thought that was like the funniest chasing. It's funny to take something that so many people cherish show deer and throw it in like a trapper keeper. Yeah. And give it to a fucking look at that show the video of him pulling out of a backpack. It's like FIFA giving a FIFA Nobel Peace
“Prize to fucking Trump. Remember that? Yeah. Some make believe thing that they they have never”
done before. Chime pen has a that there's a vibe on him that I kind of believe. Yeah. I believe everything he is I think he is extremely him. I don't think yeah I don't think that during Hurricane Katrina when he was diving into New Orleans and trying to say people was such it. I think he was really trying to save lives. I think he loves such it. Yeah. You're saying it's not performative. I don't think it's performative with him. I think he's just there's something's wrong.
That's not wrong but they're like there's like a you know I mean an eccentric personality disorder. 100%. Yeah where it's like he really believed he went out there. Oh yeah doesn't care about the leeches. Dude he's saving lives. He gave the fucking president of Ukraine his own Oscar. Yeah. I mean doesn't he have one already? Yeah. So where are you going to put it? Next to the other. I know. I mean you would know. My Oscar? You know what my Oscar would be?
Well your Oscar's gonna go ask me where my Oscar is. That is a good joke. Yeah. Go ahead.
I said your Oscar's more like a whan you'll never get an Oscar. You'll get a Julio before you
get an Oscar. Oh that's mean. It's not true, though. It's mean. You're never gonna win a fucking Oscar. You got to your mind. It was just trying to make a hype that little good game about like you know when I was just having fun I'm just digging you in. Yeah but you know give me your Oscar speech if you did win. We should do Oscar jokes is so fucking long ago. The Oscars. But yours would be of the front door. Yeah lights. Yeah music every time.
Right as you open the door. I would have a gigantic Oscar holding the Oscar. Yes. Yeah that's actually awesome. Yeah yeah. Then I would end lights. Yeah yeah but don't forget the gigantic Oscar. Yeah. You ever walk into somebody's house? You ever walk into somebody's house and they've got like Emmys and plural you know and like how did you get a fucking Emmys? I know yeah yeah. Like you'll go to somebody's house who's like someone you know in the business and you're like
you got a fucking Emmys. Yeah and like yeah we got through every way to this outstanding non-scripted blah blah blah thing daytime Emmys and you're like they give too many though. I know but but I saw I went to a guy's house and like it was like on the bottom like there was a bunch of books. It was just the corner of a room. Like what's that you guys aren't sending me? That's crazy. And I go I would have an Emmys on top of an Emmys inside of another Emmys. Inside of an
of an Emmys. You know it would be like one of those Russian dolls where you stood up. Yeah I mean there'd be so many Emmys within Emmys you know like but he just put it right in the corner of this like you know I discrete just doesn't care about it rusting. I mean that's cool.
“I think that's what I would do. How funny if it what if I did get nominated for something.”
I would you while I'd quit the show. It would validate all my hate for the business. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah well it's all bullshit. Yeah yeah yeah yeah that would be definitely. My friends. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well I'll tell you why I won't. Even if I do a good job in a movie the reason why won't is because I can't do the thing that you need to do which is which is go and shake hands and you know me. You're so good at that.
No I'm not. I don't show up to those things but for this you would. Oh you think you've got to you've got to go to Paris and meet someone so and you got to do this and that you think I would do all those things. Yeah have you ever seen the movie home for poor them? No. It's one of the best that's like one of the it's called uh that's not a mighty win.
Is it now for your consideration sorry for your consideration.
called home for poor them. It's a movie inside of a movie and the cast thinks it's a
shitter and then it gets um Oscar buzz that they might actually win so then they all change. They all they dynamically all change. Yeah. They become like so full of themselves and they all become the biggest version of who they used to be. Oh that's cool. Oh it's brilliant it's a oh wow.
“That's a um uh yeah. What's his name movie? What's wrong with the cast?”
It really is. Yeah. Oh wow. Look at the cast. By the way, did we kill yet another celebrity? Yeah. We did. We did and dude we got to stop talking about famous people. We killed Chuck Norris. No we didn't kill it. Yes we did. Hey he was 70 well 81 years old. No he was only 68 or 69. 86. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that if they're above 75 we didn't kill them. Yeah. How about 80? If they're above 80. I think he was on his way. 86 is a good run.
Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a really good run. But you don't who why is where I want to die? Yeah. You've talked about this. Yeah. Why why? Because I saw Ram Doss die there.
Yeah. I mean and one of his last videos dude he was weird because this is when they had um when I first
got um what do you call it? The um oxyoculus. Yeah. Right. And then there was like a thing where you could press and see Ram Doss. Oh wow. Right. Right. So then you know me go, boom Ram Doss. Right. And he's like 1000 it looks like a thousand years old. And he's in Hawaii. And he's going you know me and it's just a process. Yeah. You know what he's talking? You know you know it's a witness to realism. Yeah. Whatever he's talking about. Right. And then you could zoom around his body. See all his
liver spots and stuff. But then like yeah. But then I was like um it was definitely in Hawaii. Right.
“And I'm like oh this is where you pass. You want to die in Hawaii. I think so in a beautiful day in”
Hawaii with the palm trees beautiful day and just sitting there you know me and maybe in an ock oculus. And then I see me die on an oculus or something you know me. But like 3D I want people to see me die in 3D. Sign up for bad French patron. We will be we'll be doing a viewing party of Bobby's death and you can lie. Would you do a vlog as I die? Yeah. Why? Until you can't talk? As I may die. Yeah. That's so dark. Yeah. But I would pot until I can't talk. You'd be doing a death
pod. Yeah, I do a death pod. There was a guy that did the guy that got diagnosed like stage four something cancer and he's doing like a pod until he dies. Yeah. There was like a guy that was an artist that was doing this. Would you do it? No because they would be let me tell you something. Yeah. If I do it with you. But if I have terminal cancer I'm telling you guys now in this room none of you will ever know. Oh you would know either if I had it. Yeah. I wouldn't tell anybody.
Yeah. I would do what what's his name did. No arm. No arm. But I was thinking about what's that that beautiful actor Chadwick Boseman didn't tell a soul. Yeah. Why? Why? Because you don't want to you don't want people to treat you differently as you die. You don't want the PD. You just don't want someone to treat you differently. When you're dying people are going to talk to you like a baby. Because they know you're so okay. Well, what how was today?
How was it? Yeah, you don't want to that. She just treat me like you treat me and then I'll die.
“Yeah, please tell me though. I would. You have to tell me. Do you want me to tell you now?”
I don't like what stage like if it's stage two would you tell me? How funny. I'm literally like withering away and Bob's like are you okay? Yeah. I'm on the pot. I'm just like I'm totally fine. Yeah. I'm dying live on the pot. Yeah. No, I wouldn't tell anybody. I really actually even me. I think just me and the old lady would know and I wouldn't tell anybody else. And then one day I show up. You're not here. It's kind of beautiful isn't it? No, it's not.
It's like a little haunting. Yeah, then I've got a house. Then I've got to call Theo. You want to start one? Yeah. I would. But I'm busy. What would I do? It's over. It would be over. Why won't die? Don't die with that. All right. All right. You would. I'm not going with me either, dude for at least another five. Five. Yeah, yeah. Give me more than five. You know, we five more years. The couple next to me said that today. They said it was there. I was eating at the the Chinese
joint before I left and the guy was like just kind of started drummed up conversation. Nice guy. Had a casino. I see you guys out here in Vegas doing something special. Is that kids are in a nursery. It's awesome. I was like, yeah, my in-laws are going to, you know, about through their 50th.
Then she goes, oh God, we'll never make it there. And the husband was like, what do you mean?
Well, you're going to leave me. And she's like, no, I'll be dead. In 20 years, I'll be dead. It was their 30th. And I was like, no, you won't be dead. And she was like, I hope so. I was like, God, damn, it was, it made me sad. I was like, no, don't say that. What's coming for all of us? And I know, but I don't want to think about it. Yeah. I think about it. That's why quit smoking. Yeah.
The truck you give me give my shot.
And now we're going to start exercising. I have been. Go on.
Well, I'm yeah. I have. Yeah, go on. I mean, I've been, I've been trying to let me do set up. I can't tell you something. Yeah. And there's not an insult. Yeah. But your stomach kind of looks like after someone gets surgery and they have all that extra skin left over. I know because you've lost so much weight. I know. You got to just get that ripped off. No, I don't think I have. I don't have that kind of extra skin. You do. I get to sit up.
“You think so? Let's do a tell me talk for you. Yeah. Yeah. I think I have extra skin. Let me see it again.”
What? She's going to gain the weight back. Okay, but don't, I'll get stopped sucking and just don't rely on. Relax your body. Relax your back. Relax. Relax. I am. This. It's crazy how
skinny you are. But this. Yeah. But I've been doing a lot of sit ups. Have you? Yeah, I do like a
thousand a day. Really, you do a thousand a day. Yeah, I tried to do a thousand a day. Try it. How many do you actually do? Six. No, I know. No, I can't you. I do it like, when I wake up, I do it like a hundred and fifty. And then during the day, I'll just keep doing it. Just go through the kitchen for that. No, it's I do. Show me a sit up right now. Oh, a hundred and fifty. No, not in a row. Not in a row. What do you mean? You said I do,
I do like a hundred and fifty. Yeah, so I'll do like twenty five. Yeah. Stop. Right. Look at the window. Right. Watch neighbors on HBO. Right. And then I go, you can do another twenty five. So I'll do another twenty five. Right. Stop. But I'll make sure I get to one fifty in the morning. In the fucking way. You know, one hundred and fifty. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I just started a week after I quit smoking. Can I see how you do your form? No. Please. Please, let me see your form.
No. I just want to see how you do it. No. I can't do it because you're going to tease me and it's going to be mockery. And I don't want to I don't want to do that because it's going to dis, what it's going to do is going to make me go, oh, don't do it anymore because it's mockery.
“Of course, I'm going to tease you. That's why I'm not doing it right now, dude. Yeah, but I'm”
going, I'm doing it. I'm going to do it for a year and see what happens. I'm so proud of you. You'll be ripped. Yeah. Really do it. Yeah. If you, I am, I really am doing it. I'm obsessed with it. Yeah. If you brace your legs with something to like because you need weight on your feet. Yeah. So I hooked my legs on my on cabinet. You do. Yeah. Yeah. Like this. And I get cramps on my feet. We drink water. Yeah. And I, and I, and I try to hold this to the pain is there. Wow.
Yeah. And right now, it does hurt all that. That's good. Yeah. Good pain. It's all this pain down here. Do you know what I'm doing? I just do hard ground. You know what I call it? I'm doing old boy. Doing old boy. When are you stuck in that room for 15 years? Right. So I'm only going to do pushups. I'm only going to do pushups and sit ups and just see what that does. Yeah. Like j, like j, j, prison. Well, street street workouts. You've seen those guys that only work out. Like they just
do pull ups on street lights. Have you seen how jack these guys are? They go to a jungle gym. These guys are street works out. That, that, that, that, that, those two black guys. I've seen these guys. They don't do anything but pushups, sit ups, pull ups, squats. Like this is all. Yeah. From practical shit outside. Practical shit outside. No wait. Yeah. Also, it's like, I went to that fucking place. What's that gym next to my house?
You're going to ask? No. Planet fitness. So I walked in there and I go, I want to join. No, you did it. I swear to God, I'm a mother of the life. Wow. And I went in there and I go, I want to join. They go, we want to, we need, we need to link, you get your bank account. We don't do credit card membership. And I'm like, what? I don't know how to do that. And I just left. I go, fuck you. I'm leaving. Right? I really was going to join Planet Fitness.
It was right. It was right. It was right. It was right by my house. Right.
We're never going to get anything done. People are going to buy you all day. No, no, no, no, I do it.
I put a mask on everything. You do. Oh, yeah. And they can't tell it to you.
“First of all, you have to cover your eyes if you're going to cover anything. Not your fucking mouth.”
A Batman mask. Yeah. I'm like, I'm going to go. I came here to work out. Pain better not be in the cold. Yeah. So I went there and they said, I can come to the steam room. So I tried. So I searched. So I searched. Yeah. So then in my mind, I'm like, you know, when, and I don't want to go to Equinox. That's the world of supermodels and all that hot people go. The hottest people. It's just, is that's why I'm like, I'm just going to go old boy style.
Yeah. And you just sit up some pushups. Now you can't tell yet, but maybe if I do it for like a year, you're going to get jacked. Maybe. But you remember what you said to me in the car? What? What? What? You'll see. You'll see. You're going to see now. It's already been two years.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I listen.
starting every day doing it because I need it because I need a new obsession. You're bored to
because I'm smoke. I used to smoke, right? So it's like instead of that, I have so much anxiety. So it's like, I, I have to do it because if I don't, then I get entrenched in Iran.
“In Iran. Iran. Iran. Oh, yeah. I, I didn't know the, I thought it was an app. Yeah. What?”
Put me on the Iran. You know, like, the war, like, I get obsessed with the war and stuff and what's going on and stuff like that. You know, I mean, and then I, and I get lost in it. It causes me more more anxiety. So it's like now I'm, you know, I mean, old boy. You're old boy. Yeah. Like, or I call it the Travis Pickle. You know, I mean, that's more lines up. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's dirt and the trash and the streets. You know what I mean?
It's been so long. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I talked to myself. You know what I mean? The garbage is human garbage is what? What? And didn't the constant dogs. You mean? You know who's up there in that for room? Well, that's my wife. That's my wife. You know who's up in that room? Yeah, that's not my apartment. You know what I mean? It's a...
It's a shooter. What? You're a shooter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm about to, it's a little danger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just got a rifle. Yeah. I'm Travis Pickle. Yeah. I'm pleased to tell you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I'm like, I have, like, notes from the underground thoughts. That's me. It's a dose-to-ask book and it's about a guy that's
“like living in a basement and judging society through like that little opening, you know what I mean?”
You know what I mean? And I do that. So scary. Yeah. That's such a scary thing to think about. No, I do it. Judging from a window sill in a basement? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just piss jars everywhere. Yeah. Fap all over the place. Yeah. I'm JD Salinger. Yeah. One would think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were a very salinger, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The analogy I'm gonna do. If I was an author, which author would I be?
Never drinks water. He got calf cramps doing sit-ups. So how is he got to fix all that?
Ah, can I have one of the water please? Yeah. Day you're charged, huh? Yeah. I'm so tired and, um, terrain from it. I mean, this week was crazy. Bad, crazy. We did sack and then I just flew straight to Philly. You know what I mean? Three days there, one day in L.A., then one to San Jose. Today I flew back. You know what I mean? I didn't sleep at all. So you're on the safe. I slept all day. What the fuck is going on? It's like a fucking camel.
No, I love you need it, huh? Yeah, so I'm old-boying it. You got old-boy it. Yeah. I think I believe you, I believe. I mean, I'm never gonna destroy you. I'll never get physically enough, you know, I'm just strong enough. You're just a bigger way class. Yeah. How's the dating going? I am seeing somebody and what I've been doing is just looking at them and go, are we done? And then, and she goes, are you sure? I got, I got, I mean, you did it, right?
“She goes, yeah, I got there and then I go, I think. So you're just bailing? What do you mean?”
You're just bailing out. You're not gonna try to finish the job. Well, I'll come, like, some excuse, like, we did the job. You know what I mean? We got rid of the, you know what I mean? I supposed to their military from, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so, you know, you know, it's, you know, I mean, an exit strategy. Yeah, so I use an exit strategy, you know, I mean, when we're done, what is it? It's like, at one time, what happened was, um, you know,
I mean, she was working so hard and I just grabbed her arms and I go, no, he shook it off. Yeah, and I shook it off and she goes, are you sure? I got, yeah, like a picture to a catcher. Shekken off the signs. Yeah. I don't want that. But, but, but is it worth it?
I don't know. Well, if you're happier. Yeah, I'm happier. And it's also, but here's what's the great
thing about it, though, is is that, um, am I boring, everybody? No, it's interesting. Are you sure? Yeah, I feel like being boring today. We're listening. Is that what it is? Yeah, people are quiet when you're talking, because you're listening. Okay. But what it is, is, um, what's helped it? I'm kidding. Are you real? It was a bit, it was a bit, because you just asked. But go ahead. The cookies are good. Come on, I'm serious. Okay. It was a bit, you just said something.
I just didn't have the motivation, or, you know, I mean, it's really weird. I couldn't do it. She was like, hug, I was hugging her and I kind of have hard, you know, how you get half. I know that. Yeah, you know that feeling, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like midway point. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Too much. Too much more. But using reference. Too much. Too much. Too much. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's early. Yeah. I'm bearing very neutral. You know what I mean? But it's like, I love the thing that I realize is that a new game came out that I've been anticipating for six months and I haven't played one single bit of it. What is the game? It's called Crimson Desert.
“Oh, I think it's Alexa probably because it's like, it's downloaded. Yeah, I mean, I turned it on.”
And I saw the character walk, I got him to walk toward like a cabin. Do you got me, point? I got midpoint. Yeah. I couldn't even reach the cabin. Yeah, neutral. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got sweet. My character stopped. And I was like, I just turned it off. What? Yeah. And then I just did 25 setups. We're going to get into that. Yeah. Yeah. Some more drive for life. No, it's,
it's like, I don't know. It's weird. It's like, um, because I play, I use video games to like,
not think about my life and not think about my anxiety and stuff. But I don't have as much, right? So it's like, I don't have no interest in escapism, you know what I mean? In that way. Yeah. Yeah. So, but it, the only downside is, you know, I mean, the climax thing in the orgasm. No coming is a big, that's a big one. Yeah. And you talked to your therapist. This isn't therapy. Do you? Is there a spider on your shirt? It's a hole on the wrong side. Yeah. Yeah. Well,
you, it wouldn't scare me a spider. Yeah. I just look like one. I know, but it's like,
“I felt like you were trying to scare me. No. Yeah. I, I think that a scorpion maybe.”
Is that a scorpion on your shirt? That'd be a whoa. Oh, you have me. But the spider was like, I don't know. It's just, and let's say it was like, um, you know, um, what's a call that the brown one? Brown recluse. So, the brown recluse, if it was a brown recluse, I'll be scared a little bit. They're in California. Yeah. Yeah. Black widow, probably. But a standard spider. I don't think I'm scared of. You think that's disrespectful to them, that they're called standard spiders. You know,
like, when they're crawling up with their wall and they're trying to be tough. And you go, I'll look a little standard spider. Brown recluse. That's so offensive. A brown recluse? They're brown. Yeah. You know what I mean? How did they get into this country? Is my real one? Yeah. Is that, exactly. Who brought your papers? By the way, brown recluse, black widow. Notice a thing? Yeah. All right.
There's no white one. There's no white spiders. The other is genocide. Right there. Oh, there's one. Yeah. There's one. Yeah. Would you be scared with that one? Yeah. Now it looks, it looks nice and safe. Yeah. It's like, hello neighbor. White spiders. Oh, gee, dokie. White spiders asked to come in your house. Hey, man, come in. Yeah. Come in in. Give us a spare bear. A spare butter. White spiders in Arizona.
That's really those are cute. Who will look in? Yeah. But just some black in it. Obama style. Can I have another water, please? Unbelievable. I love this. Hydration. Do you know why all the Ivy girls are hot? I know it. I figured it out. Why are they all at a few figure it out? Because I got them a bunch of times from them on the road. And this helped me figure it out. Because they're bullshit. Oh, here we go. They don't work. And they send a
hot girl to distract you from the fact that it doesn't fucking actually do shit. You piss it out five seconds later. It didn't do anything. It's placebo. And here's how I know that's true. Half of these women that are administering these things. I don't even believe they're nerds. These are just fucking chicks who, it's like an agency hired them. I don't think that any of it's real. That's okay if they're hot, though. I don't want someone stabbing me in the fucking
arm with a needle in a bag. So you, you'll never going to Ivy again. I think they're bullshit.
I get them every week. And is it working? It is working. On what? My sit-ups. Who's shit? I'm shit. All right. My sit-ups in my mind. They're overpriced and they're fake. I know that they're fake. There's vitamins in those bags. But your pee, right? A different color. You're answered what you literally validating what I'm saying. You piss it right out. Yeah, but it's the vitamins and all the good stuff that's going through your body. Almost nothing gets absorbed.
You can talk to any doctor. They'll tell you your body. I close to your veins, guys. It doesn't absorb you piss it right out. If five veins absorb. Let me see your veins. Those did absorb. Yeah, you're absorbing the veins. You got to get your veins checked. Every doctor I know says it's a fucking scam. Yeah. It's bullshit. And they're overpriced. And they go, you'll retain such a small percentage of those vitamins. You might as well just take a handful of fucking vitamins at home.
Easier than getting a drip for 40 minutes because you want a hot check in your living room.
“All right. So what? That's what it is. It's cool. I won't see. No. It's a scam. It's not scam.”
It's a fucking scam. No, because then they add extra. Do you want extra? Ooh, that doesn't sound like a scam at all. Yeah, yeah. Do you want extra or something?
It's like extra hot sauce at fucking Taco Bell.
Diablo. Fire fire fire fire. Diablo. Here's why I don't like, okay. Now here's why I don't like
“Diablo. Yeah. Yeah. Changes the flavor profile of Taco Bell. Fire is just hot enough. I buy it”
at the store. It's on sale right now. It bonds. Yeah. It's in my fridge. Yeah. I have four bottles. I got six bottles of hard work. I have nine bottles of sugar. Hard. Hard. You know, you know, our work? Yeah. Yeah. Great hot sauce. Nine bottles of it. Yeah. I older it on a shop. On my phone. On shop. It's called shop on my phone. Is that like Amazon shop? I don't know what it is, but yeah. The reason why I don't use Amazon anymore, because all my deliveries go to this girl.
You stay hit on in Phoenix. Because she was sick one time. And you forget to do that. Yeah. I forget to do the address. So she texted me last week. She said, I got 12 bottles of work. And I go, oh, fuck. And that finally figured out how to change the address. You know what I mean? Enjoy the art of art. Yeah. I mean, what a gift. Art of art is great. She goes like, I got 12 bottles. You're like,
thinking of you. Yeah. And then here's what I also have been doing lately. And I don't know if
“you know this, this is a good thing. But you ever go to the farmers market every day?”
No. You don't fucking walk around the fucking farmers market and see, like, like four. By the way, it's three of the bins are the same thing. It's like, oh, is this lettuce again from this guy, a different guy? It's a honey guy, four lettuce stands, two egg ladies. Oh, my god. What are you talking about? And how many can there's a sticker shop? Oh, all right. There's a nut shop. Oh, all right. I'm not going there for lettuce guy. It's a scam. It's not a scam. Farmers are the IV of groceries. No,
it's that they're bullshit. Let me tell you something about fucking the farmers market. Which farmers are you talking about? I'm third street. Third street. Yeah. The farmer's market. The that farmer's brother. Oh, the the growth and farmer's growth. Brother, we're talking about farmers. No, I'm talking about the third street farmer's market. Oh, all of us thought the other thing. Oh, you did. Yes, you're talking to you. You got me on third street. I'm sure. Well, about my humicon. I said I made a real
farmer's market. A farmer's market. Oh, so the farmer's market on Thursday is not a real farmer's market. Oh, what is it called? The mall. It's the growth. It's all the growth now. It's the farmers. Yes, that's called. But it's called. But no one calls it that. Nobody called that. Oh, so in big letters, it says the farmers market. Yes, but no one calls it that. No. First of all, nobody goes. Yeah. Yeah. Pepsi, no one calls that. It's brown juice. What are you talking about? And it's brown juice.
There's a farmer's market. But it's looking. It's on a fucking, what a temple. I know. What do you call that? A farmer's market. Yeah. A farmer's market that we're referring to is a thing that's common. Go. This is a permanent farm. It's permanent. All right. So next, let's say permanent farmers a lot market.
“Well, say, say, say, you know, the farmer's market at the growth. That's what everybody says.”
Oh, I'll, I'll, I'll say that from now. Am I right? Am I fucking right? Everyone goes, oh, the farmer's market. I go, that's a fucking farmer's market. There's nine people making candles six people selling lettuce and one bit selling eggs. It's the fucking worst. There's their dog shit. Look at that. Orange is don't need them. Don't need them. But listen, the farmers market at the growth is phenomenal. It's a fucking mall. It's a mall with permanent restaurant. But, yeah. So there's a, there's a hot sauce. Oh, yeah. Hot, a hot,
hot sauce bar. Yeah. That's a bar. That's just a name. A hot sauce bar. Okay. I'm sorry. I've been combative. It's not like it. Okay. So there's a hot sauce place there. And then there's the,
I, and I always buy, I don't know why, and I have a fucking cabinet filled. I go, where is the hottest one?
You want a tree? Just to have it. I now have it. Like I have the source. But you're not going to put it on anything, all right? No. Just, do you dip the finger? You know, I have the one that shit like a devil. I have devil's blood. You know what I mean? I have the, you know, I mean, the hottest ones that you could buy, the most expensive ones. Very cool. Yeah. You mean you're devil's blood. Yeah. That one in the top. Yeah. That's, yeah. Satan's blood. Yeah. I have a couple
of balls. Hey, what's up? It's Mikey. Today we're doing Satan's blood. So stupid. Yeah. But I just, you know, but you collect them because you look, I don't use them. I have the source to the sources. Look at the sources bottle. How do we talk about the source? No. The source hot sauce. Yeah. The source hot source. Look at the way it comes out. Like a mine. It's a book.
It's ancient. No, comes in that. And then yeah, it's like that. It is so hot. It's 7.1 million
scolval units. Rory scolval rated this. 7.1 million scolals. What is, so what is the average
Scolval units of like a bottle of chalula?
guys. I'm trying the source again. It's Mikey. Give me the scolval units of a bottle of
chalula. And let's guess because it's 7.1 million for the source. I'm guessing regular chalula
hot sauce is like yeah, yeah, I was just going to say a thousand scolval. A thousand and two thousand.
“I was right on the money baby. Oh, what? Scolval units, the heat units. That's how they measure heat.”
And that's of what do hot sauce? Okay. So just for like chalula, regular tables, table top chalula. A thousand and a 2000. The one you have is 7.1 million. Yeah. That's absurdist. I know.
You couldn't you got to try it. No, it's what do you, you know, it's going to fry your tongue.
So one time me and Jordan Peel went to that hot sauce place. And we got the source. And we took a fucking toothpick. And we dipped a toothpick and we stuck on our tongue and it was the most painful thing.
“It was like alien blood from the movie alien. You'd be healed as sizzle. You know what I mean?”
It is so hot. Yes, guys, a card that says he survived the hot sauce. Yeah, it's a hot sauce. Oh,
he just tried it once. Yeah, you get a card. You get a card. I don't have the card. We got to get
you a card. You got to get, you got a card too then. I'll go get a card with you. I'll go do try it. Yeah, it's just going to be fucking an annoying. It's going to ruin a part of your day. Yeah. We learned a lot. We learned that you're going to be, you're going to be getting a six pack.
“I, at the very least, get a two pack. Get a two pack, sugar. I'm doing set up. I think you can.”
I think you really can. If you're really doing 150 a day. Yeah. No, just at the morning in the morning. You said more. What are you doing in the afternoon? I tried to do a thousand. Oh, can you videotape it? No. Because I want proof. Well, I mean, hopefully it'll show on my body. I don't think it will. You don't think it will. I don't. You don't think sit ups that many times. I think you count one and then you lay there for ten minutes and you think, oh, I did two hundred.
You're the other sort of some sort of Asian math. Yes. You guys are tricky. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can't wait to see it. I want to see the result. Oh, maybe you won't. Maybe I won't. Yeah. Maybe you won't. Because it's kind of sending and it's negative. Not doing a thousand fucking sit ups. The disruptive is disruptive. It's in not encouraging. You know, I mean, you're discouraging. You're discouraging. No, I said I want you to prove that you're doing that.
And draconian. Yeah. Yeah. It's draconian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Word, I learned through the, uh, Titox. I was just going to say this is the war. There's a war thing. Thank you for being a bad friend. So war, it's a war thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.


