Coffee In the Pool w/ the Island Girls

- You were these two idiots.

- Whoo. - I did, I did, I did, I did. - You two are disgusting. - Whoo. - Are you two or something?

- The bad friends. - What's going on with you today?

“You feel like you're very, yeah, you're very meaggy today.”

- That's the Sunday. - Teach us meaggy? - I woke up and it's like, you know, when you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on today.

I'm living in the moment. - We're gonna do a bunch of Chinese Proverbs. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - I'm just saying that I saw a bumper sticker driving over here, made me kind of mad.

- What'd it say? - It said, if you drive, if you get near me, I'd arrive slower. - Oh. - So I want a bumper sticker in my front window

and says, well, then I'll crash into you. - You just have to drive in front of them after you see it. - Yeah, yeah, I went to the side and just to see what they look like. - What did they look like?

- It's an old white lady. - I know.

- Ooh, Karen, past, stay hydrated.

(laughing) - Look up how many babies born in 2026 named Karen, like nine probably. - Yeah. - I think that ruined the name Karen.

- Yeah. - Eight off is ruined. - No, no, that one's back. - It's a kid off his back. - Oh, what does it say?

How many babies named Karen plummeted? The name plummeted. - It plummeted. - It fell out of the top eight parts. - But pull pot, pull, yeah.

- Yeah, pull pot, see if pull pot. - Potsy, see if potsy. - Yeah, pull pot. It can't zero, zero, zero. - Zero baby boy.

- I created a name zero. - What? - Why? - Because he was a bad guy, give me a name. - You can't beat, you can't beat zero dude.

- Yes, I can. - That's the, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm champ right now. - How many babies? - I'm fucking named champ right now dude. - How many babies in 2026?

- 2026. - You can't make up a name that's no one's ever had. Like Xana's ass, I don't know, no, no, no, no, no. - Xana's ass, I don't know, no, no. - Xana's that, no, no, no, no.

- Just say a name in the past. - How many people in 2026 were named Ganges Khan? - Ganges. - No, you said pole pot. - Ganges is not up here in the top thousand recorded

by baby knit. - Yeah, but it's still not zero. - Yeah, but pole would be a name that would be a baby. But you said pole pot. - You said Ganges Khan.

- Yeah, Ganges Khan. - Yeah, okay, all right. - So I'm saying, all right. - Zero baby's name Ganges in 2024.

“- But if I ever, baby, that's what it is, Ganges.”

- All right, we're tied, Ganges pot. - All right, Ganges pot, and that's it. - All right, we're tied. - We don't have to play, well, there's no way to go lower. - Okay.

- Yeah, there's no way to go lower. - Yeah, so I saw obsession last night. - Did I not tell you it was good? - Mm-hmm. - Do you think it was good?

- What did I call them? - Why are you? Tell me. - I called, I called McCone. I went and got pizza.

I called McCone. - Yeah. - What did I say? - Terrible movie. What did you like about this movie?

- What was good about it? - And then he goes, "Every the contrarian." - I did. - He said that, "Every the contrarian." - Dude's bag.

(laughter) - And I go, "What are you doing?" he's like, "Oh, hold on, sorry, man, I'm not carry okay, if you go back in, they just picked my song." - Yeah. - Did you go to the place on Willstere, was it called the monkey bar?

What's it called? - I don't know, but I had a bunch of Egyptians stuff in it, but it was-- - It's called Brass Monkey. - Brass Monkey, oh yeah, yeah. (laughter)

- Well, I was close, there's monkey in it. - I mean, BC boys dude. - Yeah, yeah, Brass Monkey, there's one on Willstere. - There's monkey monkey. - Yeah, and that's a huge--

- It's a massive carry. We've been there for, we've been there for, yeah.

“- You didn't go to that one with how many private rooms? Was it like a row of rooms?”

- Yeah, yeah, I've been to that one downstairs, and then they have the girls that you can bring in. - Why? - Why not? - Dude's on--

- That's the question you've asked us on. Why not? - Why not?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, why don't you ask it, why always?

- I always say why not, you know what I mean? - But why is it what does that do with karaoke? - I don't know, but Koreans, they just do that. - Kumonin? (laughs) - Yeah, she does.

- Anybody's allowed it. - Yeah, no, but you know what they call them? Carlos? - They're like, they're like, they're like, I was going to-- - I was going to use that hang at your table.

- Nations. - The location is not Japan. - No, here in America. - No, they have host's girls. - Host's girls, that's all?

- Yeah. - How do we not get that? - Yeah, host's, yeah, they're host's. - They're host's girls. - Yeah, they're friends.

- Kumoninu. - Kumoninu. - Yeah, yeah, and then they try to sell you on a, you know, I really expensive bottle of whatever. And they flirt with you, right?

- You guys sing together. - You buy the bottle. - You buy the bottle. - And they just disappear. I don't know that ninjas.

They're not congences, they're ninjas. - They're apparitions. - After you say, you pay the bill, they're just cops. - Gone. - Why don't you?

(laughing) - Yeah, I did not, I unfortunately wasn't a big fan. - Did your wife like it? - No. - You weren't, you didn't like it.

I thought, it was a good, I'll tell you this. - You're a good premise, a very good premise. - Yeah. - They hung the film on the premise, and there was no great twists for me.

There wasn't enough where I was like, whoa. I didn't own, wow. And then my biggest point that I made down the phone to him was, he breaks it and he says, I want Nikki, whatever her last name is,

one of the two think in the world.

That didn't justify the behavior.

“To me, it should have been a clever phrase”

that would have been gray enough. Like, I wish Nikki Howard was crazy for me. I said that when I walked out, I was like, "A writer's had on." - Yeah, yeah.

- It wouldn't have been better. - You've got, you've got to take it off when you go to a movie. - Like, leave without me, something big. - Yeah, something that was like, oh, okay, yes. - Okay, I'm also, oh, you didn't,

you didn't think she was gonna feed him the cat? - Yeah, she packed him lunch. Saw that coming for fucking 50 miles. - Yeah, and also, when your cat dies, you don't keep it near your house.

- Barrier. - No, you call it like when Remi died, when my dog died, two, three months ago. - Wow, you enshrined him in a throne, he's in your living room.

- I know, I understand him, but I had a mummified. - It's lock and key. - Yeah, you got to, yeah, you take the meat out. (laughing) - It's got to take the meat out.

- You got to put him in a funny position with a tuxedo and a hat, you know what I did. But my point, no, I didn't do that. We had somebody take them to a facility and we got his ashes.

He's like, "With the fuck is he doing not keep, "did he bury it in the backyard?" - I don't think they showed anything like that. - Yeah, they're doing spoilers, but it's been out at this point for, you know, two months,

so. - All right. - Anyway, no, I, what I enjoyed was... - You weren't scared at all. - No, dude, I'm a 43-year-old man. (laughing)

Wasn't scared. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - Oh, they're graphing like, (laughing) - You do that in the studio here.

- I do that. I know I do that. - I know that. - It's not that crazy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've ticks. - Yeah, you do that. - Yeah, you do that. (laughing)

- Oh, here's what I know. I, and I'm gonna offer

me some money, and this is what the deal is. If you wanna hear my new thing, I've been, for some reason, bad friends and other podcasts have been popping up at my algorithm. I'm trying to stay, you know, with, you know,

the things I wanna watch, which is what Carlos? Like, people on Africa doing things. (laughing) - Football clips and people in India doing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like, you know,

and for some reason, comedy is like coming up. - Oh, good. - When you see your friend doing stand-up, you just, you go fast, right? - I shut my phone off, like, (laughing)

- If I see someone I know and like a, what's going on? Who's this girl? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's especially a crowdwork kind of video. - I love fast. - I love fast.

- Yeah, I'm out. - But anyway, I realize, well, I had a book signing yesterday. (laughing) - No, I know he's, it's real, but.

- It's just such a funny phrase for you to say. 'Cause most people, that book signings, they wrote a book.

- He's never laughed, I'm much younger.

(laughing) - Yeah, you see, okay. (laughing) - Okay, get it out, get it all out then. - What's the book, oh, the, there was that way.

- Cartoon. - Yeah, it's not a Cartoon, man. (laughing) - What is it? - Literature.

- It's animated. - Yeah, yeah. - So it's a graphic novel. - It's a graphic novel. - It's a cartoon.

(laughing) - No, but it's awesome. - All right. - I actually read it by the way. - Yeah, I had a book.

- I read it, it's in our front room, I read one. - Okay. - I only have one. - Huh? - Only have one.

- Well, it took a long time. - It took about five minutes. (laughing)

“- All right, I think doctors, I just, I read it.”

- I read it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's on Harry Potter, you know what I mean? - I really enjoyed it. - Yeah, no, you didn't, and I don't care. - Yes, I did.

- I don't care what you think about it. Now you're getting me raw love, I'm trying to be a zan. (laughing) - So anyway, I'm exciting.

- And so, you know, one guy said, can you write this? Now this is a war, Bobbi Lee, and I go, why would you want me to write that? It goes, it's something that you would say.

- You say on the show all the time. - Right. And then I go, what are some other things I say? You know what I mean? And then else I'm watching algorithms.

And so there's certain isms that I have that drive me crazy that I do. So every time I say an ism now, I'm gonna give him a cone $5. - Oh, nice.

- What's it giving me? - I'll give you, though, some of the things that I, yeah, yeah. - Is this that? - Yeah, is this that? The thing is, is that, yeah, yeah.

Can I say something? - $5. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're saying what they are now and then there's there gonna be a time when the game begins. - That was a sub-bomb. - From now on, yeah, yeah, there's no way I'm giving you 25 bucks right now.

All right, so I'm just telling you, let's get the isms out now. And then if I say them, I give McCown, and we'll add it up through time, and then I'll give them money. - Okay. - All right, so let's write them out.

“So it's, I think, two years is fine, three years?”

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's three years. - It's got to be three years, so if I say, yeah, that's fine. I can say two knows. - No, you get one, no. - I get one, that's not fair, that's not fair.

- Dude, this is your isms, all right, this is my isms, all right. So, are you ready to get down McCown?

- Yeah, can I say something? - Can I say something? - Which I don't even know that I say that, do I say that? - All the time. - The thing is that, right, that's another thing that I say.

What are some other things I say? - Whoa, dude.

- Oh, I don't, I've never said, whoa, dude, dude.

- Give me the loot. - I've been saying, give me the loot, give me the loot. - I haven't said that a long time. - That kept, what? - You're urban Bobby, yeah, urban whole thing,

whenever there's a black person around, some octaves change your voice. - No, we can't do that because I'm being, I mean, I'm trying to get to the rhythm and they're energy, vibe, it's a vibe, I'm vibeing.

- You do have to match.

“- Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to vibe, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

- If he's in character, he can say anything. - Are you doing bro? - You know, there's some people that you say that, too, you know? - Yeah, Mexican, okay. - Yeah, I didn't say that.

- I did. - He did, oh, you did it. - Wait, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. - What I see, you know, you mean, that's the money chain game. - You know what, is that?

You know what, when he's about to get mad. You know what, but, oh, I say that, yeah. - All right, that can't be a thing. - That's why. - 'Cause you say it.

- Yeah. - So that's not an isom.

- I have no restrictions, I don't want to talk to me about the isoms.

- Take, take, you know what, out. - War, war, war. - Anything about war, unless I'm talking about Iran. (laughing) - Then we're good.

- Yeah, that we're good. - But if I tell somebody, we're in a war. - Repeating what Andrew just said. - You know, that all the time, whatever he says, you say the word immediately after.

- Like give me an example. - Like if he calls something like ugly, you would say, yeah, yeah, that's ugly. - But then that's $10, yeah, yeah, that's ugly would be $10. - No, it's too, yeah, it's too, yeah, yeah, that's ugly.

- Yes, well then it's too, yes, it's fine, 'cause it's three, yes, it's the truth. - Oh, yes, it's the root. - Oh, yes, it's the root. - How do you, you're the fucking mind dude?

- He does say that. (laughing) - That's right, no. - I don't think that's an isom. - It's like, I mean, it's like,

- Like, angryly say it loud. - Are you fucking mind it? - Yeah, and then you follow away, you kick the table. - All right, kicking the table. - Yeah.

That's $5, so kicking the table is $5. - Okay. (laughing) - Laughing like Elmo. - Okay, that's, you're not your be a jerk, you're being a jerk.

- Yeah, you're being a jerk. - Breathing, yeah. - You know the way you breathe? - Yeah, you can't do that. - Okay, that's enough.

- Can I fiddle? - Elmo laughs, gotta get out. - No, get it out. - Yeah, yeah. - That's been extra.

- All right, put it next to it, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I have an Elmo laugh, just sometimes. - What? - That's in case. - Yeah, but I have an Elmo laugh.

- Yeah, I got him in that way, but yeah, yeah, you can point. - He brings up-- - I said, yeah, twice as though. - Yep. - Oh fuck.

- $5. - No, that's not $5, yeah, three years. - Oh wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I caught my tongue. - Yeah, close.

(laughing)

“- That's it, that's what I'm running down.”

- There's no way I can do this. There's no way I can do it. - All right, we'll try. - Just for today. - I'm trying.

- Let's just try it today. Is any way fine? - Any ways fine. - Any way it's fine. - Let me just finish what I was trying to say.

- I'm happy a young filmmaker is sprouting, and it's gonna lead other young filmmakers to make stuff. And then we can start getting back to making shit. So maybe it helps. - I think it proves the point that we can make a movie

for the amount of money that they use. - Now, there's a weird thing that's happening with that. It's like everyone's like $750,000.

It's gonna make over 200 million.

And you're like, I know, but no one got paid. - I understand that. - So someone makes a lot of money. And everyone makes no money. And then they'll go, but they'll get it on the next one.

You're like, I know, but some of these people might not get the next one. - But that kid will. - Yeah, but not everybody will. - I know, but when Jordan did get out, they bought him a car.

It's the same company, Blum House. - Yeah. - On top of the money that he got. - I wouldn't want the car. I'd be like, I have a car.

That's how I got to the shoot. (laughing) - I understand. - It's giving the money. - They didn't give him the money and as well,

but they also gave them a nice car.

“- I think they're probably gonna give this kid a bonus.”

And my guess was 10 mil. - Yeah, and sign him to like an overall deal with them to make two more foot films. - Yeah, but a different movie. - Texas changed on MasterCur, I think, right?

- Oh, that's gonna be amazing. - Yeah, he's good, he's talented. - Yeah, he's a talented kid. You can just tell by, yeah. - Why did you cover up your comic store tattoo

with a sticker or something? - 'Cause I have a new one right here. - Oh, wow, we didn't even see this. The arsenal tattoo, did you see this? Big Gunner.

- Yes, the grabbed it. - Yeah. - And Instagram did, yeah. - That's great. - Yeah, she reputed me.

- She reputed me. - She reputed my comic store and she reputed my part here. - Was it the same artist that did to your original? - Yeah, you only use one girl, Char. - And she's a girl.

- What are you doing with that star on your wrist? - Am I gonna remove it? - Really? - Yeah, I'm getting this removed. - If you wanna re-join fall out, boy, you gotta ha--

(both laughing) - There's Elm Olaf. - Yeah, there is a 15 bucks. - Yeah, there's an Elm Olaf. - I'm telling you though, that good--

- 'Cause that was so funny what you just said. - Let me see your--

- Yeah, that's why I said it. Let me see the Gooner tattoo. Gooner for life, dude. Good for you. - Congratulations.

- Oh, thank you. - Oh, we've been here for--

“- We've been here for an hour and a half.”

- An hour and a half. - And-- - You guys are late? - No. - Yeah.

- You guys are late. - Sit down. - Sit down. - Guys. - Guys, how are you?

- Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jules and East Side. - Yes. - Ah, this studio. - Belated Happy Birthday, McColle. - Happy Birthday.

- But let the Happy Birthday-- - I went to his party, you didn't go. - Was it? - Was it? - Our last one.

- Yes, you were invited, it's in your tax. He showed it to me. He was really upset, you didn't go. In fact, McColle, when I showed up, dude, this is so funny and pathetic.

He's up, look at his laugh, and he knows. I walk in, I walk in with my wife and our friend, and we walk upstairs. They're sitting in a circle in suits. - Yeah.

- Like this. - No one's talk. - Of course. - Nine people, and I go, I'm gonna leave this. This is not a party.

- It's mid-Summer. - It's mid-Summer. - Yeah, it really is. - But you changed the vibe when you come here. - I did, and we took us outside,

and it made it so much better. - Oh, yes, that's the intention. - His friends are very weird. - Can I be honest with you, right now? - Yeah, yeah.

- Absolutely. - Yeah, Friday night when your brothers and his friends came to my Minnesota show. - Some of the weirdest people on plans. - Yeah, and they try to be,

you know what I loved about your brothers, because you gave them a talk, did you not? - Yeah, we go, try to be more engaging. - Right, so they're trying to smile and go, "Thanks, Bob!"

- Right, but I know that it's because you gave them a pep talk, so I don't believe what they're saying. - Yeah. - Yeah, they have to believe in it. - They get scared of the Hollywood of it all.

They're not used to it. - I'm not Hollywood. Why is he working with this podcast? - Good night, y'all, and good, take it down now. - Is that a part of the thing?

- What is that? - Yeah. - Is that you like disclosure day? - Did you see the movie? - Yeah.

“- Oh, I left left, yeah, what do you think of the movie?”

- I guess anything 'cause it's gone. - I know, but he's a good or bad. - It looks like a God of War. - Yeah, it's so crazy. - There's no fit of my time.

- Why'd you crop out, why'd you crop out Steven Spielberg? (laughing) - Dude, zoom in. - He was next to you. - I'm a man in this, look, look, look.

- Are you looking for a condominium and Rita Delray? (laughing) - Dude, dude, look. - So crazy. - So crazy.

- That is such a, it's like a press poster. - Yeah. - Do you purposely expose some of your belly or is that a new fashion thing? - New to this area, come to Trivian, I did the local path. (laughing)

You're running for like, state something, state government. (laughing) - That insane. - Girls, how are you? - Very good.

- New glasses? - No. - I do wear contacts, but--

- You never wear, I've never seen you in those.

Have you won these to the show? - No. - No, never seen those. - Do you wear contacts? - Yeah, I do.

- What are those just sunglasses? - Let me see, put 'em on, let's see what you're doing. - She thinks she's bono. - Yeah, let me see bono. - Let's go bono.

- Yeah, let's go bono. - Danny. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Where the streets have no name, say that. Where the streets have, go go out.

- Well, where they're from, the streets don't have name. - Yeah, they don't have name. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. So can I tell you this something that happened?

- Yeah. - And just give me your best judgment as a, there's a couple of things I want to say. - Okay. - Okay.

- All right. - Is it Patriot? - Yeah. - America First. - God bless.

- Yeah.

- Girl, say America First, real fast.

- America First. - Thank you. - You don't believe it though. (laughing) - Yeah, there's no belief system now, yeah.

- You can tell. - So, I was, we were on a little break on our tour, so I said to the comedy store and everybody, I go, you know, I'm picking a week off. Nice.

- I don't understand up, I want to relax, hang out with my girlfriend, hang out with the family. All right. And I had a friend call and say, you said you were going to be performing

a couple of months ago on a Saturday night. This specific Saturday night, which is the last night. - Mm-hmm. - And I go, yeah, but I'm not, you know, I didn't call in, so, but my family's in town,

you know, is a whole thing that we're coming.

“- Did you tell her you were going to be there that night?”

- A couple of months ago, I think she had texted me saying that like, are you performing whatever the day it is, right? - So I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's about $20.

- That's $20. - That's $20. - Yeah. - That's some of my isms, if I give, I say them, I have to give them, I'm gonna count $5.

- Anyway, so look, so you did may have said, which we do all the time, they go, do you perform on Saturday and like August, you're like, I don't know man, it's June, mate. Yeah, probably, I guess, I have no idea.

- So that's what happened. - Right, I understand. - And so all week, this person's like, you know, I go, I'm taking a break, you're not,

and so finally, Friday, which is a couple days ago,

I call the Comedy Store Rose. Is there anyway, you can just slot me into the main room at eight. And so when you do that, what do they do? They have to readjust call everyone and go.

- Somebody gets pumped, you know, there's, you know,

that happens.

“- And I go reserve a table, they miss these table,”

they reserved. - Very nice. - Right, and then I was also invited to, I'm out of couldn't drop a name. - Sure, I don't want to.

- Why not? - I don't want to. - I don't want to. (laughs) - I mean, people who know, I've got a normal laugh,

five more dollars. (laughs) - Is that off? - That's a close. - You know, it's close enough?

- Five more dollars. - This person invited me rockstar. I can say that. - Ace freely. (laughs)

- The close. - Okay, close. Yeah, a guy that's in a band, it was like, "Hey, do you, you and your girl "for one, hang out and go watch, have dinner and watch a movie?"

And I said, I can't, because I have to do this show, Saturday night. - All right. - I mean, no, but you go ahead. - What would you have said?

- Yeah, I'd rather hang out with you.

- I'd like to, I'd like to. - I'd like to. - That's not what I go off, and that's not what I do. - Okay. - So we did the show for these people.

- So yeah, so I show up at the Comedy Store and I go to the cover booth and I go,

“are my people here and they're like, "Oh, man."”

- They're like, "They haven't checked in yet, "but she'll just start it." - Oh, no. - I know. - And then I'm on stage and you can see Mitz's,

you see the booth from stage. No one's in there. - Oh, my God. - Okay, no one's in there. What, what, why are you shaking your head?

- It's crazy. - It's crazy. - We're in a green, so it's insane. - Right, right, yeah. - And number one also, it's like, they could have sold those seats.

- Yeah, they could have. - For a lot of money. - And they're very expensive. Those are like nice seats. - Right, and then afterwards I go to the cover booth

and go, "Are you sure they checked in?" They're not in Mitz's section and they're like, I'm telling you, no one had a guest list. - Did you know that? - No, I didn't text her, I just let it go.

I went to dinner with my girlfriend afterwards. - Did you check in with the... - I was so mad. I was so mad, I couldn't even text. - Okay, time out.

- Okay. - What if they tried to go, their name was none of the list and they were like, well, we don't want to bother them and they just left. - That's no way that could happen.

- I definitely can have. - I know, but they have my number directly. - And you didn't text her after she didn't show. So maybe she showed up, couldn't get in and didn't want to bother you.

- The cover booth goes, we promise you, no one came up and said, we're on Bobby's list. After, I'm gonna tell you what happened. I'm at dinner.

She texts us, so I tell her, my show was at eight with her, you know, and at nine, 30 she's like, we're at the store, we're at our dinner and late. - And this is why you don't do that. - All right, and I got, I didn't respond to it.

- Good. - Then today, what happened? - She went over. - Came to my house. - She just, woman came to your home?

- Yes, she's a dear friend. - Oh, I was like, what is going on? - She came to my home and what? - Why don't you love me? (laughing)

- Yeah, yeah. - What? - She went with four lucky boy burritos. - Which is what my favorite breakfast burrito. - We know.

- Yeah. - And then six fresh eggs from her own chicken. - Farm. - I don't want those. - Yeah, I don't want those.

I don't do four eggs. (laughing) - I don't do eggs that are on free range. - No, I got a free range of stuff. - Yeah, I do.

- Are they free range?

- No, they're from, no, you never been there.

- You're Northridge, right? - In Northridge, yeah. - In her backyard. - Yeah. - Her kid was there.

- Yeah, her kid was there, yeah. - She tried to use that as a sympathy card. - That's right, yeah. - How old is the kid? - Six legs.

- That's so mean. - It's so mean. - Boy, a little boy? - Girl. - Oh, even worse.

- I love her kid. - 'Cause she's like, "Oh, I'll be quick to see you!" - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like one of those. - Right. - And what I said was, I said, you don't want to see her.

I don't want to see her and I go say that I left my girlfriend in her car. - So I was just in my room when they were at the house. - Yeah. - And you never said hi.

- No way. - He never came out. - No, so we had to entertain. - How long would she there? - Like 30 minutes.

- That's not bad. - That's not bad. I, in my mind, was like she stayed for a year. - Yeah, but you have to understand. - That's a horror movie.

- Yeah, you can't leave your room. - Yeah.

“- She's like, you know what I think I'll sleep over.”

See when he gets back tomorrow. - I understand. - You try to get out of your house. - But now, while this is happening, I'm sitting in my room.

I want my other chairs like this. (laughing) For 30 minutes. - Okay, that's not that bad. Just lay down and--

- I keep texting, is she gone yet? They're like, no, she's still here. - It would be doing seat-ups. (laughing) - I stopped doing that.

Because you know why I stopped doing that the discouragement. - I thought it was a hundred a day, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I started doing the morning.

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- What is going on here? - You know what? - I think I did a book signing a laugh. - You sang, I did a book signing a song. - I know, but it's somebody else's game real.

- I'm sorry for calling you Pippi out front. That was wrong. I think that's what it is. I apologize. - You know what?

- But let me ask you something. - That's my friend who's an author. Thank you very much. (laughing) - Stop it.

- What? - Is any way anism?

- Just a natural transition.

- It's a natural transition. - Yeah. - So then you can't put any way up there. - No, you can't. - How are they gonna transition then?

There's no way to transition. Only okay during transition. Okay, okay, thank you. - So this woman was there for 30 minutes, and then how did you say,

"Cabai, how do you shoot?" - Yeah, 'cause we're really close with her. - Oh, okay, you know her well enough. - It's just family. - Well, she's so close that you lied to her

and didn't see her while she was at your home. I mean, she was close for her. - Plus because I would be enraged. - You're right. - Would you be enraged?

- I'll tell you something, they wouldn't be in my home. (laughing) - That's what I'm saying. - I would call and go, "Hey man, you bailed. They saved that seat.

That's kind of fucked up." Which by the way, this happened to me, this happened to all of us. Where people go, "We're coming, we're coming. "Somebody told me one time they go."

I was like, "You didn't, did you not show up?" They were like, "We didn't see, we were there. "We left." - Oh, they were in different rooms. - They went to the hall.

And I was like, "Did you say I'm Andrew Santino's guests "because they would have gone, he's in there?" They're like, "No." It's like, "Okay, well."

“- That's why you, I don't know what you want me to do.”

- I'm specific, I'm like main room. The show starts at seven. I'm up at this time. You mean, talk to this person. - And then they text you and go,

"Hey, what time do you go on? "What time does the show start? "What room is it in?" - Yeah. - And you're like, "Look up, I do the arrow."

(laughing) I go, "Look up, look at the text fucking two texts ago." I just said all of it. - Or, "Look up at the billboard." (laughing)

- Yeah, there's a main room saying, and an old R thing, right?

And you could just look at it and we were always on the billboard.

- Yeah. - So it's like, just look at the billboard. - Look at the billboard. - Yeah. - I dinner at 9/30, she goes, you know what I mean?

Oh, dinner ran late, right? So what would you do, you would say? - He was really sorry though. - I don't care. - But I don't give up.

(laughing) - So that is also urban Bob. I would not text, your smart to not text to get mad, but when they talk to you again, just go. - No, it's forever dead.

- I would say it's not cool. - It's forever dead. - Well, I go, it's not cool. ♪ Forever dead ♪ ♪ I wanna be forever dead ♪

♪ Do you really want to die forever ♪ - Forever. - Do you guys know that song? - Yeah. - What shirt is that?

- Rocks. - Rocks in music. - Oh, it's mine. - Oh, that's a cool, I was just gonna say. - Yeah.

- Is that a Bobby distressed? - Yeah. - It's a distressed, I didn't like the distressed, I think it just said it too much, so I gave it to her.

- It was me, his failure, one. (laughing) - So I have a lot of new shirts. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

- Every morning he's on the dining table, just scratching all the way. - Breaking away. - He's got a, that's his new hobby. - Yeah, yeah.

(laughing) - It's my life. - He was all the coffee things in the pool. - Yeah, we already talked about it. - He told me.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So it's already said it last time. - Who had to clean out the pool? - My cool guy. - That's right. - What did he say?

“- He's like, I don't, I think he's like,”

- Really worried. - He was worried. - Yeah, yeah. - It's actually not a good one. - Why is your pool black?

- Because coffee grounds are gonna get in the filter system. - You know, you'll probably buy in the pool. - So it's, it's, it's, it's Insta coffee. Oh, it's okay. - It's not ground. - Yeah, it's fine.

- Yeah, it's fine. - It's totally fine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's another thing, because when you take a white shirt and you soak it if anyone wants a distressed shirt, right?

- Don't give away your secrets. (laughing) - Right, you take a whole bottle of hot water. - Yeah. - You put hot water in a bucket.

And I take, you do want to, are you interested? - Yeah. - I feel like you're not. - I'm listening. - Okay.

- You take, poured the coffee in an instant coffee. And you let it sit for the other days. - And then do you scratch it with rocks, sandpaper. - Sandpaper, but here's, go get some rocks.

- Nope, here's what I just found out.

And I found out a trick. - Do you want to give this away? - I do, because it's, it's three dollars for everybody. - Good. - I had a wardrobe for this movie I'm doing.

And I asked the wardrobe lady, 'cause they know all about distressing. - Yeah. - And I'm telling her all these things I'm doing. She's like, just go to this company.

Just do it. - Oh yeah. (laughs) - So I'm just gonna, so what I'm doing, but they go, they do it in bulk.

So you need 12 shirts at least. - You got 12? - No, I'm saving, I have like four or five arrived. I'm waiting for seven more. I'm gonna bring it in and then it adds,

they, no holes, rock wash. And then I'll put paint and I'll do a little bit more distressing, but you know.

“- You should just throw them in your dryer”

and then throw some rocks in there. - I don't know what it'll do. It's, you know. - Let's test, let's figure it out. - You put coffee in your pool.

(laughs) - That is true. - That is true. - That is true. - That is true.

- That is true. - That is true. - That is true. - That is true. - Yeah.

- I like a kid gets a house, he's like, "Look, put coffee in the pool!" - It's insane. - Yeah, it's insane. - Yeah, it's insane. - I wanna build a slide on my bedroom window.

- Yeah. And I also want a publicly, from these two, friends of mine, you know, publicly announced that, I'm, you know, you okay? - So, you're United Kingdom?

- Uno King, right? - We talked about it.

- Yeah, you're the Uno King.

- Is he the Uno King? - Is he the Uno King? - He won six games in a row. - Five.

“- But he is using tactics like threats and bribery.”

- Yes. - Yeah. - He tried to bribe our mom and he got really mad that he did it. - Well, that is what the kings would do. Kings would bribe.

Kings are big bribers. - Dude, we colonize. - And you know what they are in the kingdom? - What? - Last night, they're group farmers.

Do you know what a group farmer is? - No, I don't know what a group farmer is. - You're looking at two of them. - Yeah, it sounds racist. - It sounds racist.

(laughing) - Group farmer. - Yeah. - There's one letter away for being racist. (laughing)

- Group. - Do medieval times. It's called a group picker or a group farmer. What they do is, oh, I'm sorry, what is it? - Gone farmer.

- Oh, gone farmer. - Yeah, nice. (laughing)

- Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up.

What did you call them? - Group farmer. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, where near. - But groups sounded fun.

- Yeah, that is, but a gone farmer is a what? - A gone farmer medieval and tutor error, labor response for manual removing human waste from city, sess, piss, and castle privies. - Raw.

- So when you were in the castle, they a video of this. They would poop off the side of the castle in like a shoot and then they had to go clean up the poop and wheelbarrow it away.

They were compensated very well. They said, this was a very good job. Picking up poop was one of the best jobs.

“- Yeah, because you have to imagine in a castle, right?”

You're pooping out of a hole. - And just off the side of the wall. - Off the side of a wall, publicly five stories up. The wall must be, look at that.

- Oh, that's, yeah, that's it. - Oh my god, I imagine. - And there's this. - Once a year they have to do the canal, you know what I mean, the canal cleaning?

- Got a cleaning. - Some little like, a little Brad Williams, that's it. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, get up there.

- And he would get stuck so they would, tie someone's foot and just pull him down. - Yeah. - It's a, it's a, a shot-check redemption kind of a situation.

- Gone farming. - Got, remember when he escaped? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You guys are gone farmer. - Yeah, you're a gone farmer.

But me, good money. That's a cool job. - It's a very good job. - Yeah, you guys don't go with smells though. - I can't smell.

- Okay, well then you'd be gonna gone farming. - Yeah. (laughing) - Did you guys go to McCone's birthday? - Mm-hmm.

- Kristen was there. - Why didn't you guys go? - Um, I had to babysit and then I got really tired. Why didn't you go? - I didn't even know about it.

- Wow. - It's interesting. - It was really fun. - Really fun. - I didn't get invited as well.

- You know, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You have to direct invite me. You can put me in a group chat. - Our direct text message. - All right, let me, I'm gonna look it up.

I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you should. - Yeah, I'm gonna look it up right now. - 'Cause I knew you'd make a thing out of it.

- And then as soon as I went to leave, I go, what do you need? What's going on? And McCone goes, can I have $100? - Oh, it's this.

- Yeah, it's a powerful invite. - Okay, so what I wanna say this is, sometimes you send me videos. No, I'm being real. This is like, like, check out this silly video

on like, your TikTok. - He does. - Right, and so then I'll click on it and it's the most uninteresting thing that you could ever watch.

So in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's just one of his silly TikToks. - Sure. - It says McCone is 27 and I don't even read it. If I see a square thing and looks like a video, I just, I can't ignore it.

- You can't part of full of Bobby. - You can't part of full made it. - You've got a, you gotta write in a text, what it is, and then send it.

- Part of full, he's never gonna open.

- I don't know what it is. - He doesn't know how to do it. - I do know how to press a button. - He doesn't know how. - Yes, I do do it.

I can do it right now. - Oh, then why didn't you do it for his birthday? - Because I thought it was a TikTok video. - I'm sorry, I'm raising my voice. Yeah, and I'm leaving Tuesday and we're gonna miss you.

- Wait, where are you going? - Back home. - Oh, no. - Yeah. - And so is your mom?

- Yeah. - How long are you guys gonna be gone for? - Oh, she's gonna be gone for the whole year. - Until Trump's out of office, I guess, huh? - Yep.

(laughing) - Yeah, yeah.

“- Wait, you're gonna be gone for the rest of the year?”

- Yeah. - And then maybe come back next year? - Yeah. - 'Cause immediately when I get back my school starts. - Okay, so what I wanna ask,

and I, it's not a personal thing, right? But you guys have two younger brothers, who I don't know at all. Can they come instead? - They don't have visas yet.

- Okay. Get them of visa, Bob, and of visa. I'll get them of visa. Yeah. - Now, here's my worry, Andrew,

and if you can help me. - Please. - 'Cause I have familiar as living with me. - Mm. - Yeah, you know.

- And you are a familiar. You call 'em gunfire, I call 'em familiar. - Actually, I call 'em group farmers on action. (laughing) - But Gong is the right thing.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Gong sounds more right. - So, in Gong, what's this, I'm more right. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you gung piece of shit.

What's your doing on my neighborhood or whatever? - Get out of here, fucking Gong, I'm armor. - Yeah, yeah. - Anyway, that's another transition. - Yeah.

- Another transition. - Oh, you're transitioning. - I'm transitioning. - Oh, okay. (laughing)

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. - 'Cause another five. - 30. - Yeah, 30 dollars. - So, my, your mother is my house keeper, essentially.

- Yeah, she's gonna be gone for three months now. - Yeah, what are you gonna do? - Well, she promises me that this one right here will clean. - Pick up the slack, huh?

- Yeah, but she won't. - I will. - No, you won't. - So, what I'm asking you is, do you know anybody that can help me?

- 100%? - Yeah, I will, I swear. - No, you don't, you don't. - I will. - If it's front row, Justin Bieber, you will.

(laughing) That's exactly it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's Sabrina Carpenter, you will. - Sorry.

- Clean the house, you won't. - I already promised you. I'll clean it. - Yeah, but whatever you've done, it's not good. What's this?

- Topless cleaning. - I don't want that, if I turn that off. - What are you doing, Carlos? - Carlos, what are you doing? - Oh, dream made.

- No, no, Carlos, stop. - Is that who you use, dream made? - No, I just do it myself. - Yeah, yeah. - How about McCone, McCone can clean your house?

He always says he loves cleaning houses.

- Are you good at cleaning houses? - I'm pretty good. - Yeah. - For my own, but other people. - For money, he can be good.

- If I gave you, let me, let me.

“- You must think McCone's better than me.”

- Yeah. - Oh. - Yeah, because he scared of me. - Yeah, he is, that's true. - Yeah, you're not.

- Yeah. - It's like living with a fourth dimensional ghost when everyone's gone. - That's true. - We don't see high, you're scared of him.

- She doesn't acknowledge me. - No, you go! - No, you go! - No, you go, acknowledge me. It's fine, I don't want to acknowledge you either.

- I think. - But what I'm saying? - For me, you can tell Bobby and you're just like, ugh. - Yeah, all right.

So, I never made that noise. (laughing) I never made that noise before my, ugh. I've never done that, okay? - Yeah, yeah.

- So, I don't want to get angry. I was trying to be calm. - It get easy, baby. - I know, I'm trying to relax. - This is why he was like, in Uno.

He was like, back Bob, he's like, back Bob. - Yeah, I betrayed even my girlfriend at Uno. - These slick back Bob right now, you're good. It's like, back Bob, that's slick back Bob. There he is.

- I need help. 'Cause I live in a house. - She's not gonna do it. - She's not. - Yeah.

- I have someone that's amazing. - Yeah, so thank you so much. - Yeah. - I would love to be center of your way. - No, you're done.

- How about this? - I'll give you a shot. - Yeah, she has to prove herself. - I'll give you a shot. - Give me a shot.

- I'm so scared. So you're gonna, you're gonna fold my underwear the way your mom folds them. - Yeah. - Okay.

- No, you're not. - No fucking wool. - Well, wait, you're just gonna throw them in there when they all crinkly. - I will.

- Yeah. - Call her, ask how she folds it. - Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, this is what she does. - This is what she does.

- Have you never seen them?

You've never seen her do it? - No. - No.

“- So what she does is she'll put clothes in the dryer, right?”

Then I'll come home, right? And there's a literal pyramid of clothes on top of the dryer. - And those are the clean ones. - Those are the clean ones. - Okay, very nice.

- While she's washing other things, right? The pyramid becomes bigger and bigger, right? And then it becomes guisa, the pyramid of guisa. - It is. - Yeah, yeah.

And then I'm like, and then what happens when you dry clothing? And you don't fold them immediately. Tell me what happens. - Rinkles. - Rinkles, baby.

- Clos, wrinkles, baby. - Clos, wrinkles, baby. - And then the clothing pyramid of guisa. - Y'all guisa, yeah. And so it'll do it.

- That's what I don't want. - Right? - I also, this is not-- - But that's is gonna come. - No, she's not.

- I fold your clothes. - A 90 year old lady is gonna come out. - I also should do it. - Yeah, you're outsourcing. - A 90 year old lady.

- That's insane. - That's crazy. - She has apps. - Yeah. - She has cleaning apps.

- Yeah, she has apps. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought she was like, "Boop, boom, boom, boom, boom!" - Who's that's a phone?

- Yeah. - Clean. - Clean. - Yeah.

“- Hey, you gotta prove yourself somehow.”

- I will. - You know what you should make or do? - What? - Clean the outside of the house. - It needs a good washing

'cause of all the dirt from the trees and the stones. - No. - He doesn't even care about-- - Yes, he does. - I do care.

- I don't know. - Well, it's like vinegar because of it. - No. (laughing) - What do you mean by that?

- The poverty. - The poverty and there's so much stains everywhere. And it's just his shirts laying out in the sun. And it's like all kinds of colors up. - Even our mom gave up on it.

- Yeah. - Oh, so you don't pay that noise. - Yeah. (laughing) - You paid that noise.

- Yeah, that's another five. - It's like 40 bucks? - Yeah. - That's 40 bucks. - You also have propried to me twice.

- Yeah. - We're off to. - We're cruising, yeah. - We're doing good. - I'll give you.

- Give me. - I did this another one. I just were pretty cruising. - Yeah, another five. - It's amazing.

- That's not a thing, okay.

- You've never repeated a word that I've said.

I don't like to sound like you. (laughing) - Okay. - All right, that's fair. - Okay.

- Here, anyway. - Yep. - I say, okay. - Yeah, yeah, thank you. - Thank you.

- Anyway. - The thing is, this is this. (laughing) - I'm gonna, that's another five. I'm gonna give, I'm gonna, one day,

I'm gonna, oh, I'm gonna move a couch. - Okay. - I'm gonna look underneath. - See, there's a difference Andrew

- So you gotta gotta,

- Give me the difference.

- Yeah, tell me with some of the difference. - surface cleaning is when just going over just to the eye. What's available? - What's available to you. - Deep cleaning is what's not available.

Under the beds, under the couches, behind the refrigerator. You got to pull that thing out. You got to pull that thing out. - You do.

“- Can I deep clean once a week instead of every day?”

- No, not. - Every day, deep clean. - No, not every day, deep clean. You do clean every day, deep clean once a week. - Yeah.

- Okay. - Maybe twice if you feel like. - If I feel like it. - Okay. - Yeah, and I'm just gonna do that symbol.

- That's how you know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're gonna be like, "Oh, okay." And then you're like, "I'm busy." - Well, I got things to do.

- Yeah, so what's your job? - The baby can clean. - Yeah, the baby. - That baby can clean. - One year's old now.

- Yeah. - Once you're one, you can start cleaning. - Can you walk? - Yeah. - Yeah.

- He can clean. (laughing)

- If you've been walking, clean.

- Maybe subsets with the tubabies. - The baby's walking around a lot. - Yeah, the baby's saying my name all the time. - How? - Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

- Oh, so it's clear. - Even if he hears me in the phone, he'll yell my name. - We ask him like, "Who's your favorite person?" He says, "Bobby."

- We should get him on the show. - Can he get on the show? - No, he's too young. - Put him on the show. - Yeah, he'll cry.

He can't conceptualize what this is. All he says is this deep gross orange. (laughing) - You're talking about me? - No. (laughing)

“- Yeah, and this color, it would freak him out.”

- Yeah, too much. - It's too much. - I got it. - You see all these paintings, he would think that he was in another world.

- He isn't. - He was in another world. - Yeah, yeah. - But sad that you're gonna go home, that sucks. - I mean, that's good.

- So what is the sense you've been,

how long have you been in America?

- For a month. - For a month. What have you been doing? - I've been, if you learned anything. - Yeah, what have you been doing?

- Like, I've just been walking around and walking. - Why? - I've been walking around. - Yeah, I'll drive around. I'll see that I've driven past you before.

(laughing) - And you're even ignoring dollars or I probably don't. - Wait, what do you do? You don't acknowledge me? - Yeah.

- Where are you going? - I'm going to the coffee shop. - The office. - The office. - You're going to the office?

- Yeah. - That's the only place you're going. - No, I'm going to see you. - Give me some other coffee shops in that area. - Like the books and coffee ones.

- Oh, the books and coffee, yeah. - Yeah. - Is it weird? Have you ever been to the witches' brew, or there's an-- - No, but I just think this is America.

What have you been doing? Walking, coffee, coffee, yeah. - Nothing, really nothing. So you really took advantage of coming to America. - And you'll do something like this.

I'll go, hey, me and my girlfriend, I'm going to go to dinner, you want to come. She goes, no. - What do you eat? - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thank you for asking.

(laughing) I'll tell you what they ate. - I'll tell you what they eat. - What? - Thank you so much for asking.

- Okay, you're welcome. - Thank you. - What they eat is two weeks ago, I ordered Sunon Dang. - Oh my God.

- Okay, which is short rib. It's like in a stew, there's carrots in it. It's like a Vikings like a meal, right? - It's the best. - It's the best.

- Sunon Dang. - It's Sunon Dang, right? It's been in my fridge for two, three weeks. - Okay. - And the other day, I just see them eating meat,

just like a bone and meat. I'm like, and they're like, oh, it's from, and I'm like, I can order you a new one. - I don't know. - That's right, why waste?

“You think meat for three weeks in a fridge is fine?”

- I'm not gonna eat it for them, it's gotta be fine. - I know, but you think that you would you eat meat in your refrigerator that's been there for two or three weeks? - No. - We're not having diarrhea, so it's good.

- Yeah. - What do you mean? - Well, it's good. - What do you mean Carlos? - What diarrhea?

- What? - She's Filipino stomach. It's different. - Another question would be, why is it in there for three weeks? - Yeah.

- Why throw it away? Why three weeks? - We want to keep it. - They want to keep it. - Oh, it's you.

- Are you kidding me? - Keep it in your room on the floor, then. - Yeah. - On the room on the floor. - If you like it so much.

- Yeah, it's a stacked with old food. - Yeah. - And then I'll go, hey, I'm gonna get postmates and they're like, we don't want to eat it. - Yeah, but that's good, they're not wasting money.

- They're not wasting money. - They're not wasting your money. - I don't care. - You should. - Why?

- You should. - What? - I don't want to get it, I don't want to get it with you. I don't, that's anism of yours. - Okay.

- Give me a breath, I'll give McCone five dollars. - Okay. - Well, in so '95, I already gave him $100 the other day. - Yeah, it's an exhausting breath that you do. - Sorry.

- All right. - And I'm gonna tell you why I'm concerned about your money. I used all the money we've made on bad friends. I gave it to a guy named Bertie made off, and it's not good.

(laughing) - Warby Parker, now listen to me, okay. - Listen, here you hear you. - Here you hear you, hey, hey, hey, hey. Your wife's glasses are so dope, worry Parker.

- They're so cool. I'm gonna go to work with Parker, I'm gonna get glasses there. - You cannot, because you know what they do, they do prescriptions.

- That's what I'm gonna do.

You can get whatever prescriptions you are wearing

or need put into them.

“And by the way, the best part is, you can try on the glasses”

virtually from home on your phone or iPad or whatever. It feels so real, you can look and see what it feels like and looks like on your face in your space. - They made the whole entire experience even easier. Now you can actually go into one of their stores as well.

- Yeah. - And get an eye exam right there and they're running around the multiple spots. No guessing if your prescription is even up to date. - Yeah, not anymore, it's easy.

Warby Parker's got everything in store. By the way, cool new styles, all the time. Colors, that are so different than anything that you see that's running around on those racks at the gas station. And by the way, the prescription glasses started $95,

you can actually get quality in stylish frames at an affordable price. And they do, like Bob said, I examed glasses, context sunglasses. You don't gotta piece it together anymore.

They get over 300 retail stores across you. - That's a lot of stores. - And Bob, for every pair of glasses that Warby Parker sells, they give a pair to someone in need, which is huge.

20 million pairs they've given out through their buy a pair of give a pair of program, which I think is very cool, very huge. - All right, now you can buy a pair of glasses and get 20% of any additional pairs

at WarbyParker.com/badfriends. - That's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-Y-Parker.com/badfriends. - All right, you guys ever woke up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch

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- Helgip pouches have a shorter half-life than caffeine they're not gonna disrupt your sleep. And I gotta tell you, they make me feel much better in the morning because I don't get that insane crash. All right, I'm trying, working on--

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Delivering an instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use a code, bad friends to get 15% off at takealtrad.com. - That's takealtrad.com for 50% off code, bad friends.

- And after your purchase, they're gonna ask you, "Hi, do you hear about 'em?" Support our show and tell 'em that we sent you. - It's not good. - It's not good.

- Yeah. - But what I'm saying is if I'm getting a sandwich or a bagel shop and I go, "Hey, you guys wanna get a breakfast bagel thing in the morning and then I know things

and then they'll go to the fridge and eat the three week year old meat." - Oh, it's good, they're cleaning it out. - Okay. - Yeah.

- I wanna clean it first and then we'll say yes once--

- You guys wanna come over to my house and eat all my expired shit in the fridge? - And more than welcome to. - Yeah. - And then there, we got so much shit in there.

- A lot of bananas. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - Banana bread? Who makes banana bread?

- Banana bread. - Can you make banana bread? - Mom can make it. - Can she for me? Tell her just for me.

- Yeah. - 'Cause she has a bakery. - She's still got a crush on me, right? - Yeah. - Yeah.

- I like that. - I love that. She's leaving me. - Maybe I should leave it. - She's going back to the Philippines.

- I know, they'll be back. - Maybe I should go with-- - I'll be back. - Yeah, I'll be back. - I leave my life here in Los Angeles for your mom.

- What about 'em? - Yeah, what about your dad? - What about 'em? - I'm sorry. - I'm the new guy in town.

- The new guy is the male version of Pippi Longstocking. - Imagine me at a fucking village in the Philippines. - You became. They'd be scared. - Oh yeah, all the girls would.

- Let's do it. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

“- How many red-headed people do you see in the Philippines?”

- I've never seen them. - Wow. - That's me. - Yeah. - With my wife.

- White guy enjoys holiday. - You and honey. - It's an intense one. Are there black people in the Philippines? - Yeah, I'm like our native people.

- What do you mean? You're native people. - Do you sing people native of the Philippines? They're like Detroit and the Philippines. This channel. The scene is indigenous people. Oh, she does look black. There's Negritos. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What little black person? Yeah. Well, that's for Spanish. It would be. Yeah. That's our native people. Yeah. Wait a minute. The name is Negritos. Yes. It's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. With a pdf. It says. Yeah. Zoom it up top. Yeah. Yeah. You say it then.

Negritos. Yeah. Very good. You're going. Keep going. It's used to mean little black person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the lot. Yeah, Doc Willis is out there. Yeah. So you do have indigenous black people that live in the Philippines. - Defilipans.

“- Are you friends with any of the indigenous people grown up?”

- No, why not?

- They live in other islands.

- They live in the other islands. - Right. - South Central. (laughing) - Southwest.

- Southwest, yeah. Southeast. - Yeah, Southeast. - Yes, Southeast. - South Central.

- Yeah. Is there, do they have games? - Game. - There's no, like, you know what I mean? - It's a good song.

(laughing) - Oh, sure. - We do have games, though. - Okay, what are the game names in the Philippines? Do you have game names?

- It's flip-flop boys, look at that. - Flip-flop boys, the flip-flop boys. (laughing) The flip-flop boys, they're up to no good. - Yeah, they're up to no good.

- Flip-flop boys, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What are the name of the game? - Seaguer, Seaguer, Sputnik. - Yeah.

(laughing) - Yeah, that's insane.

- One of our just the most well-known citizens

in the country. - Oh my god, ballad nagging. - You know, yeah. - Bahalana. - Bahalana.

- All right, I'm a part of the War A War Again. - What if you know that? - What's Bahalala, man? - War A War? It's like a specific...

- War A War! All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

[laughs] [speaking in foreign language] [laughs] [speaking in foreign language] [laughs]

Go back, go back to the names. Go back to the names. The last one is, uh, "Kuritang Beligin Beligin Beligin Beligin." [speaking in foreign language] [speaking in foreign language]

Oh, they're gone. Do you guys-- Do you have much wrong? Nothing, I'm listening. [laughs]

Do you know any gang members in the Philippines? No, but I remember in the village that we used to live. Yeah.

There was this group of guys.

[laughs]

“Oh, we're gang members, so you have to do the--”

What is it that in this? Let me guess it. Let me guess it. Let me guess. Let me guess.

What's the initiation of the gang? What's initiation? You have to-- No, we will go to the forest. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow down. Okay. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?

[laughs] [laughs] [laughs] [laughs] It's not scary.

[laughs] No, no. We go to the Negretto forest. [laughs] What's going on?

Yeah, what's going on there? What are you doing in the forest? Yeah, what are you doing in the forest? We have dead frogs. [laughs]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, you have to eat a dead frog. Oh, I didn't eat a dead frog. I didn't have something that bad of initiation. Yeah.

And then after you get a spanking. [laughs] [laughs] [laughs] [laughs]

I love games. You're not so bad. They spank you. They spank you. They spank you.

With a paddle? No, I said no to the spanking. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you can say no. You can say no to the game.

Yeah, I'll eat the frog, no spanking. [laughs] You can just say no to a game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a...

No, I'm a friend of yours.

“Tony's like, you're going to pay us what you owe.”

Yeah, I don't want to. Okay. Okay, what can we do? Yeah, what can we do? So you said, but do you eat the frog?

I just like licked it. Oh, you looked... Is it psychedelic? No. It must be psychedelic.

Gross for just like a nasty pond. How do you eat it? It's fine, like dead frog. Oh, it's a dead frog. Have you done that?

No. No. So wait, that's... When you say initiation, that means you'd be in the gang once you did it.

So did you get in the gang then? Oh, you got a lot of spank you to get in the gang. It's not a real gang. Yeah, I think it's just... Oh, it was a fake to gang.

We were like, oh, like, we're real, we're like, we're bloods. But there's bloods out there. That you're saying? They're certainly not. They're certainly not.

That's what they say. Yeah, yeah. They were lying just as spank. Yeah. We had the frog bloods.

Yeah, yeah. They are active blood gang members in the operating sets in the Philippines. Well, we're wrong. Okay. Yeah, we're learning.

Yeah. Oh, in Cebu. In Cebu, wow, the true brown style. [laughter] The name of the EES.

True brown style. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. True brown style.

Yeah. So have you run into true, up TBS? And we should say something to the gangs. Yeah. Philippines.

We're in the middle. We are big fans. We're corrupt cops. Yeah, we're corrupt. We would do dealings with it.

Let you go. Yeah. Probably be careful.

“We don't want these guys to get mad at us.”

Well, I've been to Cebu many times.

You know, I've never run into a TBS.

I haven't been spank years. You're in the boozy parts of Cebu. That's right, girl. Say it, girl. Wait.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, you went to Marigundun. I went to Marigundun. Okay.

I went for a swim. I went to a swim in Marigundun. Any gun down? Yeah. Is that what it's called?

Yeah. So Marigundun, I went. And what did I do in Marigundun? Tell 'em. You recorded the podcast.

No. What about the goat and the feeding the children? That's how Marigundun. What is that? That's another area.

Oh, but you're not going to give me props for that. You fed goats to children? No, no, no. I bought a bunch of spaghetti. Yes, spaghetti.

Oh, yeah. What? Like spaghetti noodles? A fucking spaghetti. Oh, yeah.

That kind of spaghetti. Yeah. And I bought a bunch of spaghetti. And there was also bread and some little salad. And went to a village, right?

Mm-hmm. Everyone was naked. Okay. You're coming out of the village. You know what I mean?

A little bit. There was a goat tied to a... Right? Always a goat tied up. Yeah.

I just said it again. There's another five. Yep. And we had a truck. Yeah.

A van. Yeah. And I fed the villagers boxes of spaghetti. Yeah. That's right.

And that story's in the memoir, which was signing. That's in the book. Yeah. You get the otter bubbly feeding a spaghetti. Yeah.

You just gave out what I want to try. Hard spaghetti? No. It's only goat. Yeah.

You cooked spaghetti? I didn't give it dry noodles. Like a boiling water. Wait. You got to make your own pasta sauce.

Cooked spaghetti. This story really bad. Like he gave meal kids to people. Yeah, meal kids. Yeah.

I wish it was the other way. Yeah. Just handfuls into it. And spaghetti? Spaghetti?

And they seemed to be very happy about it. It did charity. Yeah. A little bit. And then I did my talent show out there.

Which is fun. Yeah. So I've done some stuff over there.

Never ran into any TBS or...

And you never want to. We respect and love the TBS. Do you have motorcycle gangs? No. Do people have motorcycles out there?

Yeah. It's all motorcycles. It's all motorcycles. No, those are motifs. I mean motorcycles.

Yeah. I think so.

“What's the difference between a motet and a motorcycle?”

A lot of CCs. Yeah. So much bigger engine. Well, because of the conflict that we're in right now. I mean, I feel up here.

It was the hardest hit really in the beginning of this conflict in terms of gas. So what should we do about it? Can we do something? What are we supposed to do? There's nothing we can do.

Other than house Filipinos. Yeah. That's what I do. I do what I can. You did what you did.

Yeah, spaghetti and everything. We got it. How some three week old meat. Yeah. Yeah.

Like pools. Yeah. Yeah. I do everything I can. Negrito pools.

Yeah. Give me what's going on in your lives. Rudy, what are you doing? Yeah. Baby sing.

That's all you're doing all the time. That's your full-time job now. I'm American Dream. Yeah. You went camping last year.

Yeah. Where? You've invited to Bobby.

No, you never invited me.

Where you got Joshua Tray or something? Leo Carillo. Leo Carillo. Leo Carillo. You got a 10.

That sounded like home, huh? Yeah. When we went camping. Like Katuma. Oh, I love like Katuma.

And the fucking dog. I was like, oh, wow. She can. She's like restricted. She doesn't have to.

“We don't have to worry about leash or anything.”

Why? Because it's like fence. Where we were. Yeah. And I'm thinking, oh, this is great.

She jumps into a like a briar patch and has birds all over. It's been like three hours picking out. Should out of her fucking. I felt so bad. It's stuck.

And then I was bummed because we didn't get the 10 set up. And I was like, this is, we should just go. Oh, my God. You must snap. I did.

I told you about my cousin Andy and I. What? My. My parents did. Huh.

Oh, we call camping. That's the right. That's it. My cousin Andy. And you know, me and also Andy's father.

My own goal. Yeah. And so we set up a tent. Right. We went to sleep.

And when we woke up. They were not there. And they in his dad. My dad and my uncle were not there. They went to a hotel.

That sounds right. Yeah. And they drove back. And it was sleep good. They're like, you left us here?

Yeah. You would do that. It's camping. Yeah. You got to learn.

That's it. I know. But I'm 12. You got to. You got to survive.

Okay. I've got to survive. All right. But let's go back to camping. I.

I will never camp ever. I'm not though. I don't like it. I don't like it. I like everything.

I like fishing. And I like all that other stuff around it. But I don't want to sleep there. I'll go sleep somewhere else. Yeah.

Because we have buildings now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Buildings are great.

Also the ground is very uncomfortable. I don't care how comfortable you are. You have a bed though. Like a padding thing. Oh, you guys do glamping.

No. No. You don't have padding when you do.

You could do like an insert into a sleeping bag.

But it's not. That's not much. We did not do glamping. No. We were sleeping bag.

With an insert so it's more padded. Oh. Not on a cot. No. Yeah.

The ground's not that comfortable. But you didn't sleep well because when you came home, you slept all day. So what happened? Because I couldn't sleep because I thought we would just die. That exactly.

True. True. You don't camp. Did you guys cook? Did you guys do gling and stuff?

No. Did you hear scary things outside of the tent? What was the guy screaming at us? Like I'm foray. What was he saying?

What was he saying? First of all. I wasn't yelling at her. I was talking to her. You were screaming at his wife?

Yeah. He was like, you're stupid. Yeah. Talking dumb ass. Why are you doing that?

Whoa. Whoa. Now that's scary. Yeah. What's going to happen?

Yeah. He's screaming at her for in the morning. Yeah. Did anybody say shut up? No.

How far away were the campsites from each other? Pretty close. Oh yeah. See, that's not also not camping either. You got to be woke.

You got to be way out. Yeah. You got to hike. Yeah. I did have a knife.

So you have to go. You didn't have a knife? Strange.

“You have to do what Ivanka and Jared did.”

They went to that island. All right. Took their shoes. Went swimming. Yeah.

They swam to an island. Fairfoot. They hiked up top of the mountain. And then they bought it. They bought it.

All right. That's a real camping. That's real camping. And that's what you guys eat. What albania?

Buy a mountain. Yeah. That's a real camping. So what? You did.

Did you build a fire pit? No. You didn't build a fire pit. You didn't grill or anything? There was no light.

What did you do for food? We sandwiched. What what sandwiches and mustard. You brought sandwiches and mustard? Yeah.

What kind of sandwiches? It was just bread, bread, lettuce, ham, cheese, and mustard. Yeah. Present food. Yeah.

I like a ham and cheese. We're making it in the dark. Yeah. It's like the worst time ever. You didn't just, you didn't have a flashlight?

No. Our phones. That was on our phone. And then we didn't have data. So at 10 a.m. we were just like, what are we going to do?

Yeah. Exactly. You know, it's like those cave people that go. What do they plunge it? What do they call them?

Spelunk by lunking. Yeah. And they get stuck in a crack like this, right? And they get stuck.

“And they're like, I think I'm going to die, right?”

But it's like, you chose to be there. Yeah. You just belong to this. You just belong to this. You just belong to this.

You know, I've never been in a cave stuck in a crack.

Never. Have you ever been it? I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. I don't, I don't, I don't know.

Would that one do that movie with it? Is it under cot? Seven hours. What? What?

Hundred, twenty, seven hours. Yeah. And he had to cut his own arm off. I've just never been in that situation. Never.

Do you know why? Yeah. I don't go out there. You don't do that. Yeah.

When people are coming back, like, you know what I mean? What happened to your arm? Shark attack. Tiger sharks. Yes.

Yeah. But in South Africa now. Not going to. Why ever come? Well, I've been in there.

You're fogged up again. Yeah. Big fog guy. You know what's a good episode of he's fogging? Yeah.

Oh my god. So no camping anymore. More camping. All right. Never again.

Never. Okay. I think it's a good idea. You don't need to camp. You don't need to camp.

Yeah. You're comfortable where you are. You're living in his house. Living a good life. Yeah.

I'll tell you what I was going to see. And I'm glad I bailed. I bailed on scary movie. My buddy told me he was like, it didn't. It didn't do it.

Which sucks.

I fucking loved the first ones.

I can do it. But the original was so funny. Yeah. You know why it was a moment in time. Yeah.

“I think it was just a great moment in time.”

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

More money. I'll say this. This might be the last time that we see you on the show for a little while. Probably year, year and a half. Yeah.

We'll miss you. Yeah. You'll be back. Yeah. Maybe.

We'll see. It's funny. She's like, I can't wait to go home. Yeah. You miss the Philippines.

I crazy. And I can't meet my friends. Yeah. She's like. She's been doing attitude to you.

Your attitudes. I mean, why? Why, though. No, because like the last time he was like, I wanted a day. And he was like, I wanted, I want to meet this guy.

I'm going to, I'm going to go to his profile. I'm going to message him. I'm like, why? And we're going to miss you. We are going to miss.

And I also believe that you're going to miss being here. Yeah. I don't, I that part. I don't believe. I don't know.

I think you'll miss some parts of the state. You'll miss Rudy. Yeah. She prefers it. Do you want to go back?

You want to stay here. Yeah. You're American. You are. Yeah.

But I mean, good luck. You know, good luck. We hope you come back. I hope you come back. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you.

Say thank you for being a bad friend.

Salam ala. Alam ala. Alam ala. Okay. Great.

Yeah. Yeah.