Dating Asian Orange

Shrimp ah, bye bye.

“August 14th in Melbourne at the MCEC is I'm gonna be playing”

great venue, August 20th in Sydney at the Darling Harbor Theatre.

August 22nd in Brisbane at the BCEC. And August 23rd in Auckland, New Zealand at the Bruce Mason Center. Tickets at bobbylead.live. Everybody got you, sir. We got the shoots, baby.

Get a bad friends merch.com. Bad friends merch.com. We're gonna get to just help this in black or red. Black or red go see us at badfriendsmerch.com. Go grab yourself a shirt.

You two are bad friends. You're these two idiots. Woo, I did an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo, I need to show the bad friends.

You know, I got to tell you something. I've been watching more soccer than ever now. Good. It's blown my mind how much soccer I'm watching. What's blowing your mind about it?

That I'm interested in it. Yeah, it's very interesting. Only when it's on TV. Oh, you can't see clips. I watched the game, but I don't want to engage in all the new ones.

Yeah, I was at the We Spawn last night. That's how the Mexico game. Yeah, I watched the Mexican game from the hotel. And there's a lot of Mexican people that work at We Spawn. That one.

Yeah. I go pick up the towel. Pick up the towel.

Yeah, yeah, like what are we doing here?

How do you say eight in Spanish? it's an ape. - Mono, but it's not that bad. - Mono, meere de mono. - Meere de de mono.

- They went meere de de mono. - They went meere de de mono. Meere de de mono. Pampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere mampere - I was late on that, you were late.

- Yeah, yeah. I'm literally looking at the towels that we spot. None of them are done. - All right. - No, let's get this off my chest, right?

- All right. - And all the everyone is watching the game. - Yeah, they're watching the game. - Yeah, yeah, do the towels. - Oh, they can't do the towels.

Look at those guys. They were losing their mind. I watched the news. I was in Northern California and they were talking about riots in L.A. in North Hollywood.

- Yeah. - I loved it. They were doing donuts. They were breaking stuff. - Every time there's a Mexican game, you can tell.

- You can tell, there's a Mexican. Look at that guy. He's got Agent Orange on his face.

“I don't know what that is, but that's how they celebrate.”

- He's just as spasticy. - What is that from work? - Yeah. - That was in North Hollywood. That was at like Van Nized, they said.

- That's insane. - Yeah. - Is it Pacoima? - Yeah. - But you knew they'd play an act.

- Who? - Mexico? - Who do they play? - England. - Oh, yeah.

- Let's see what happens. - Yeah, it's over there. - Let's just see what happens. - Although this bottle already be out by the time this happened. So, wow, wow, what a game.

- What a wonderful game. - It was a cool one. - It was cool to see Messi. I'll say I'll say that, that was cool to see. - Yeah, I know.

- Greatest ever touch of socks. - He's 40. - And he's still 40. - I know he's great, he's great, he's great. He's one of the greatest of all time.

- No, no, he's the greatest. - No, he goes Messi, Maradona, I know him all. - He's the best. - Yeah. - Every soccer player ever has said he's the greatest.

- He is. - You have Zindi Deedin Zedan, you guys. - He's at Armin. - He's at all those guys, but my point though is he is 40. - Okay.

- You imagine me on a soccer field? That's crazy to play with. He's playing with 19 year olds. - I know. - And he's cooking them.

- That's 40 years old, how does he do this? - He's just born that way. - I love when they, they cut to his wife. They go, and miss Messi loves it as well. She's bouncing up and down, having the time of her life.

- Yeah. - I will say this about his wife. - Yeah. - And I mean this. - Beautiful.

- Very unattractive. - But no. - No, she's so beautiful. - She's so gorgeous, dude. - You know what they're called?

- The hottest couple in the world. - No, they're called Wags. - Wives and girlfriends. Yeah, yeah, the wives and girlfriends. - Oh, you didn't, you know.

- Yeah. Wags are in all sports. - Oh. That was only. - Look at his wags and basketball.

- Baseball, baseball too. - Oh, really? - Look at his body. - Yeah. - She.

- Look at that body. - Yeah. - He's legs, they don't show his legs. - Can you imagine the sex that they get to have? - I can't.

- I've never imagined that.

- Oh, how? - Tell me how fat a good is it. - I'd love to cook that. - Yeah. - How big is his balls?

Like a soccer ball? - I guarantee he gets tiny little balls. - No. - No, because you're running a lot. Your balls got to get.

- If I was him, I would make my balls look like soccer balls. - Paint your tattoos. - Yeah, paint your hair. - Yeah, yeah. Argentina won.

And the other one Miami. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Miami FC. - Yeah, yeah.

- Two is, is that, you know, Korea's out. - Korea's way out.

“- And when they landed in Seoul, do you see the airport?”

- Right? - People were there going, "You're a loser!" (laughing) - You're a disgrace. - That's great.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They fucking shame people screaming, you know what I mean? - Wow. - Yeah. - They're met with insults.

- insults and harassment. - harassment. - Wow, that's so sad. - Look at the way it's positive. - Be motivated.

- Be motivated. - That's the coach's nose. Do you know why he's the nose? Is that long? - Is he a liar?

- He's a liar.

- Yeah. - What do you lie about? - Look.

- I gotta tell you something.

- This is awful. - No, I think it's good. - These guys, they've worked so hard. - It doesn't matter. - World Cup was ruined because of you one person just said.

- Yeah. - World Cup was ruined. - And it was ruined. - No, it was. - It was ruined for Koreans.

- Nobody thought the Koreans were going to go far. - Do we have a son? - Right. - We have one guy one guy. - One guy.

- One guy. - One guy. - One guy. - One guy. - For Koreans?

- It's a disgrace. - All right. What I want to say is a Korean. We do good food from film. - Good food.

- Good food. - Good food. - Right. Samsung. - Right.

- That's all we ask. - You didn't do it. - If you lost against Argentina, if you lost against France. - Fine.

- Fine. - That's right. - But who do it?

- They lost against Mexico.

- Yeah, Mexico is good though. - I know. - But it was the goalkeeper's fault. - The coach hired them. - Oh, so it's the coach's fault.

- Yeah, yeah.

“So what my point is is that I think there isn't enough”

shaming going on. - More shaming. - Yeah, yeah. I think more shaming. - I think there's something.

- I think that if the USA lose. - Shame. - No. - They don't get to go to a cracker barrel. - Ever again for five years.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah, there should be consequences. - There must cost go. - Cracker barrel. - What else?

Walmart. You're not allowed to go in. - Those are our American things. - No more AMPM. - No more AMPM.

- No more that right. - He's awesome. - You get shamed. - Shame. - Pulsinic.

- No, I think it's right for certain cultures. - Koreans? - Yes, yes. - You have to shame. - But Americans here, you know,

soccer isn't our thing. If it was a world football American football. - Yeah. - Yes, I think we should shame them. - A Germany lost.

- You know what's going on with them. - Yeah. - Right on back. - And when Germany goes back to fucking in a man? - You Germany?

- Oh. - These are good Auschwitz. - Yeah, yeah. - It's a train. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You betrayed your people. These are good Auschwitz. - They have to. - Yeah, like at least a year. - Okay, not death, right?

But like in a man. - Hang out there. You lost to what? Paraguay? - Yeah.

- Who they lost to a Paraguay? - Right? - He has another lens lost. - Another lens did lose. - Yeah.

Who did they lose against? - Morocco? - Morocco? - That's good. - Where did another lens go?

- Where did they not allow to go? - Yeah, when they go back to the Netherlands that shaming ritual, what should it be? No brothels for a year. - I was going to say, for them,

it would be being around any minority whatsoever. - Yes. - There's another lens is like all white. They don't let anybody in.

“I think shaming is lost in the World Cup.”

- I need more shame. - I think we need to be more shaming. - You have to. Because if Korea knew that if they were going to fly back to Seoul, right, and get attacked like that,

I think they would have won. - Yeah, maybe. - I think maybe. - It would have helped. - It would have wrong a little more.

- They would have ran a little bit more. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. I think their days would be more shaming in the World Cup. - I agree now.

You got me on your team. - Yeah, really? - High shaming. - Yeah, yeah. - Right, you lose.

- You're going to go luck. - Let me tell you something. - Yeah, yeah. - If Russia, yeah. - They will get killed.

I think they do get murdered. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm not even kidding. - Yeah. - I think they actually do the I think.

- Because I'll tell you what. And this is truth, okay. When North Korea lost to eight one, I think it was against Portugal. - Oh, yeah.

- Do you remember that? - And they said they won. - They said they won. - Yeah. - But every player and the coach went into

manual labor after that for a year. - They had to move rock. - They went to a mining facility. - So I'm who's saying they did with Iraq. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“- I think that's, those are, I think that's fair.”

- So what did he do? A suffered brutal treatment of poor performances. His son Uday Hussein, who headed the Iraqi Olympic Committee, reportedly tortured in prison and beaten national soccer players and coaches, following embarrassing losses or failure to qualify for major tournaments.

- We got to bring that back. - We got to go back. (laughing) - Uday Hussein. - Uday, yeah, yeah.

- What do you think? - Handsome guy. - Yeah. - So the USA loses what do you think? - Yeah, I think we do need to shame and beat them.

- Yeah, not beat them. - No. - We don't do that in this country. - Why not? - What?

- That's right. Why not? Why not? You know, Guantanamo Bay. - Get down there.

- Yeah, you gotta get down there, right? Because people have been prisoned for less. - For way less. - Yeah. - You're representing your country.

- Best country in the world. - You're representing your country. - Millions of people rely. - They need this. - They need it, dude.

In this economy, what's that? - That's a soccer player who didn't do well. - Yeah, yeah, he didn't do well. - Yeah, yeah. - That was a world cup.

- Yeah. - He's like, I was on the bench.

I didn't play one second.

Doesn't matter. - Doesn't matter. - You go to fucking Guantanamo Bay. (laughing) - There are many soccer players.

- Look at that shit.

The South Korean soccer team. (laughing) - And they have to sit like that. - They sit like that. And I guess what?

When you do that, the natural cup? They get to the fucking final. - They have to sit like that for four years until the next world cup. - They'll get a new crop of pillars.

- But what you do is you get the new crop of players. And you show them what happened to the old crop of players. - Yeah, I got to see, look at this, Gulag. - Propaganda. - Do you remember him?

He was the forward for, you know, me and our team. - One of the best in the world. - In the best of the world. This is what happens to you. - I did watch.

I'm catching up on Margo has money problems. - Oh. - L fanning show? - Good.

- Oh, it's not good, it's amazing.

I think it's incredible. It's well done. She is such a good actress. Nick Offerman is phenomenal. - Mm.

- And the five dog? - Mm. - It's a great show, dude. But I will say, Elfanning carries this show in a way where I'm like, every time she's on camera,

I'm like, oh, she's the best. She's so good. Her, she delivers the lines. You believe every second of her character. - I find her to be extremely beautiful.

- She is. - I know, but like, extra. - She's so good in the show. - Like, if I was on an island, right? And there was 10 women of the hottest women, right?

And she was one of them.

“And they said, you have to, I don't know why I'm making this out,”

but like-- - Is it on an island? - Right? - It's probably, you guys probably share the fantasy. - None of an island, a peninsula.

- Even better. - It's that better? - Sure. - We're on a peninsula.

- On a key, you're on a key.

- In a key. - Okay, good. - A key. Is that fine? - Yes.

- Yeah, I'm in a key. - A key, right? - A key. - Right? I think I would choose her over the nine other beautiful women.

- Wow. - Yeah. - Who are the other men? - I don't just think of the most nine most beautiful women in the world. - Done.

- Yeah. - Magorabi. - Over her. - Over her. - Galgado.

- Over. Not because of the look. [laughter] [laughter] - You know what I said, I said it out.

- Yeah, you said it out. - How about you and a key? - Me and a key. - Well, you're not with your wife anymore. - And I'm on a key with the love.

- You sadly passed away. - Nine but you'd you kill her? - No. - Nine beautiful women? - Ten beautiful women.

- Ten beautiful women? - Yeah, yeah. - Who am I picking? - Yeah, who you picking? - This is how Facebook has started.

[laughter] - Kind of. - Kind of. - Kind of.

“I think this is a kind of how Facebook has started.”

- How or not, right? - Can I be honest with the group? And I don't want anyone to go no, you're wrong. - I think I'm in an honesty. I'm in an honesty phase with myself.

- I know the gold rings are doing something for you. - All right. So I'm in an honesty phase to myself. Let's just be truthful. - Okay.

- Okay. - I'm ugly. - No. - Yeah, let's see. See that seat.

No. - I'm ugly. - Okay. - Okay. - But every metric of handsome, I do not hit.

- No, that's-- - Yeah, yeah. One hundred percent. - You draw a line. - You have no draw. - Yeah, exactly, right?

- Hight. - You're very tiny. - Okay. - Okay. - And then people go, oh no, but you're cute.

Yeah, the boo-boos are cute. - Yeah. - Wouldn't fuck 'em. - You wouldn't fuck a little boo-boos. - Okay, but how about this?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Obviously you're incorrect because you have a girlfriend who's very pretty. - It's cute. - It's cloud, fame. - That's it.

- You think if you had none of those things? - Nope.

- She would never be with you.

- Hell no. - Hell no. (laughing) - And why can I be-- - Right?

- Yeah, no, no flags, no. - No. - Right. - Why can't people just be honest with themselves? - I don't think you're ugly.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am ugly. - You're like an artist though. You're like a stinky cheese. - People still like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You got boo-boos. - All right, you're blue cheese. - I'm blue cheese. - Not everyone's gonna get me. - Garcon Zola.

“But what my point deal being is, why can't we be honest with ourselves?”

- I think you're-- - Listen, okay, I'm ugly. - You're not ugly. - And I'm fine with it, okay? I have other attributes, right?

- Yeah. - But in the marketplace, if I wasn't who I am, okay? - I don't like it. - I know you don't like it. I'm fine with it.

- Why? Why are you-- - Because it's the truth. - Did you look in the mirror and have like something-- - I was stirring up myself in the mirror at the spa. - I'm fine with it, clean them. (laughing)

- Yes. You're a meanie, we need to that. - Yeah, me, so meaned it. - All right, and I looked at myself, and I objectively said, "Yeah, I'm pretty ugly."

- No. - Okay, then give me the counter. You are in grit. - I'm talking about physically. - You're in great shape for a man of your age.

Most men in your age range are not in your shape. - That's true? - You look at the average weight of a 54-year-old. Who's five foot three?

- Korean. - Korean. - Korean.

“- All right, an average weight of a 54-year-old Korean.”

53-year-old 54-year-old Korean man.

- Yeah. - It's 112 to 136 pounds. - You're like, "I weigh 155." So, I'm fat. - You're not fat.

- Yeah, yeah. - I'm a fatter than the average. - I don't believe that. - Yeah, well, you're going to review AI? - No.

- I'm not saying this in a negative way. I have high self-esteem. - It's not from AI. It's from the Trunk TomTO Don Cardiff. - No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- And that's the best fucking center for that. - It is. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The crime crime factor is the best for that, okay? Look at the statistics here. I can't read that map at all.

(laughing) Or whatever that is, right? But let's just be honest with ourselves, okay? I'm ugly. - You're not ugly.

- Okay, well, give me, you haven't given me any other fucking, give me, give it to me. - From a physical standpoint? - No, you have nice eyes, you got great hair. - If I, if I, if I, let's look at this.

- Okay, I'm 55 years old.

I'm working at Chipotle, but not even in the front counter. - You're cooking. - You know, I'm in the back washing dishes. - Oh wow.

- Okay. - I'm making 12, 50 an hour. - Yeah, that's the wrong of that. - All right, I have no vehicle. - Mm.

- Okay. I have to walk five miles home. - Were you in prison for a while? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why are you in this position?

- If I was in this position, right, there would be no aspects. - I did disagree. Someone would find you very attractive. By the way, there's a woman that works at that same Chipotle.

She's like, Cheryl, who's half Asian. You know, she just came to this country. - Mm. - She just got a job there.

“She works at the front, and she goes, you know what I mean?”

- She's three eleven, and she's a flat nose. (laughing) - And she says they're-- - I'm talking about-- - She says they're a coworker.

You know who I find hot? The guy in the back, he's funny. - Can I propose something else to you? - I think it's not just fate. - Can I just propose something else to you, okay?

- What? - Have I dated over the years? Beautiful women. - Of course. - That's when I'm talking about.

- But even before you were famous? - Yeah, yeah. Trang, I mean, who works at the, you know what I mean? Chipotle, right? Trang Trang, right?

- Yeah. - Just three eleven, right? One eye missing, right? She has fucking bullet hole wounds, right? - Gotcha.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. A titty blown off. Yeah. There's problems. - Yeah, yeah.

I'm not going to be able to get, you know what I mean? The access to women that I find attractive. - You dated hot women before you got famous. - No way. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, but I was in the trajectory of fame. - Okay, when you were in high school. - No, nothing. Zero, nothing.

- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.

- Yeah. (laughing) - Were they hot? - Probably a little. - I think that I was the founder of the TFL movement.

I'm one of the founders. You don't even have the Google, I'll tell you what it is. (laughing) - Okay. - No, I'll look it up too.

- Look it up. You're not going to find it. - It's time for a fork outfit or something? - No, no, no, no. - See, that's what I'm saying.

- What's the TFL movement? - No, this is a TFL. - TFL? - TFL. - What's the TFL movement?

- What's the TFL movement? - We'll see if you can find it. - Transport for London? - No, no, no, no, no. - Total fucking loser.

- Oh, cut it out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes. - Where's this coming from? - It's coming from reality.

- I don't like it. - You mean me or me not like the truth? All right, but here it is. - Okay. - You don't know the truth.

- I know you can't handle the truth. - Is that the line? - Yeah. - You can't handle the truth. - Sorry, I fucked up that line.

- Right.

“- The truth is is that I was a co-founder,”

founder of the TFL movement. - All right. - And because I've had success, it doesn't immediately take you out of the TFL movement.

Once you're a part of the movement, you're always a member.

- You can never graduate. - You can never graduate. - What? - You can never graduate. - What?

- You said you're a co-founder. Who else did you find it with? - I don't know who the other founder. Because I, we, at back then. - Can't look at each other.

[ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] - Also, back then, there was no internet. - Uh, yes, we didn't know who the other founders are, right? - Right.

- But through the internet, I have found the other founders. - Oh, you slowly found your-- - Yeah, yeah. So when I look at certain internet videos, I go, yeah, can I send you one?

- Yeah. - Okay. - On a video, sure? - Yeah, yeah, I ticked off video. And I realize this through this man.

- Through one man on tick. - Well, one man on ticked off. And I will show you, I'm sorry, my God. Your network is unstable, it says. - Okay.

It sounds like everything is. - Oh, here we go. I will send it to you right now. Uh, hold on. I'm going to send this to Carlos Herrera.

And I'm going to tell you who else is in this group,

- Okay. - Carlos.

“- I was going to say that's why we're close.”

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“- I think this age of personal empowerment, self-improvement.”

- You're a manifestation. You ignore the truth. - Right.

- And the truth is this, okay?

Is I'm a fucking loser. - I disagree. - Yeah. And you know what? I'm fine by it.

- You mean physically. Because you're, I'm talking physically. - Internally. - Every other metric of your life. - Friends, community, job, the career.

- I'll tell you why. - Huge success. - I'll tell you why. - It's all shame. - Shame based. And because of shame.

- Because of shame. - Right. - I can endure so much shame. - Right. - That I've gotten to the status that I've gotten to.

- Maybe use a code to the Korean. - Yeah. - I'm going to coach the Korean team. - You would be good. - Yeah, I think I would be good.

I think that's a good callback. - Korea, if you're listening, right? - I'm coaching the next team. - Rename the team, the TFL.

- Because we'll never win a game.

- We'll never win a game. - Yeah. - I'm going to put every position in their opposite position. - Okay. - Your center forward?

- Your goalkeeping. - All right. - Your right wing? - Your left back. - All right.

- Every position is going to be wrong. - Right? - I'm going to put women in it. - Okay. - Anyway, I don't know if this is funny what I'm saying.

- It is, but it's sad because I don't buy into this. - Oh, you might not buy into it. - It's what I'm feeling as a layup. - A beautiful woman in your life. - Who's your girlfriend?

- And you tell me. - So her attraction to you is invalid. She's wrong.

“- I think there are exceptions to every rule.”

- Well, there's no rule being broken. - Yeah, there is. - What is, don't the eight ugly Asian men? - No, no. - I think that, um, let's just be honest, then.

If you want, right? - Sure, yeah. - Every woman I dated, right? Their dad wasn't Vietnam. At PTSD, right?

- Right, took that rage, you know? Right, threw it onto the daughter, right? And she's like, I don't want a date. You know what I mean? PTSD, white men.

- Right. - So they go to the Asian, right? And goes, you know what I mean? I'm rebelling. - You're like, hey daddy, look who I'm dating, right?

They get all PTSD out, you know?

You know what I mean?

They smell like, you know?

- It's agent. - Whatever, agent orange, whatever. - Right. - Yeah, yeah, I mean. - I'm-- - They hear pollution.

- Explosions, right? When they go, here, you daddy, look, right? - Right. - They get back into that. - Right, here's another thing.

- Flashbacks. - Right. The white women that I've dated, right, had a dream of getting out of white. - They want to get away from white. - Right, so they grew up in the Midwest.

All they saw was white people.

“And every once in a while they'll go, you know what?”

- Right, right. I'm going to go with the opposite, okay? But there's no other exceptions outside of those two. - But most of time it goes to black culture. You're interesting, you're-- There's that's a real left turn.

- Yep. - You're the farthest left turn. - I see, farthest. - Eastern, farthest. - Yeah, yeah, I'm the farthest east that you can turn.

- So far right turn. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right. - Far right. - You are far right.

- No, liberally, I'm liberally. I'm politically, I'm liberally. But yeah, so I know people that want to hear this because I feel good about myself. - So you're positioning-- your position is--

you're okay with telling yourself that you're ugly. - It's being objective. - And more of us should tell ourselves that we're ugly. - I think the people should just be honest with themselves. - About their looks.

- 'Cause you see a lot of mid-- - I'm sorry, I'm going to say something maybe controversial, right? But you see a lot of TikTok-- I see a lot of TikTok maybe too much.

- Yeah. - Maybe too much, right? I see a lot of mid-women going, yeah.

I need a guy that makes three million a year or two.

It's like, no, you're ugly.

“And you should be dating men that are ugly.”

- Yeah. - And I'm saying that I'm going to be honest with myself. - Right. - And I go, I got lucky. I took some risks.

- Yeah. - But objectively, I'm not-- If you look up handsome, let's see if I hit any of the lists. - What does it mean to be handsome as subjective, though? - No, it's not.

- There's no objectivity. - Yeah, absolutely. - Objectively handsome. - No, not Asian actors. Just say, what is the objectively--

- Objectively handsome? - What does it mean to be objectively handsome? - Yeah. - In America today. Handsome describes a man with classic dignified aesthetic appeal.

Often characterized by strong facial symmetry and proportion. - I'm like, stop there. - Stop there. - I don't hit those. - You're pretty symmetrical.

- Yeah, in a mythological way. Yeah, this is for humans. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is for humans. - You have a very classic appeal.

- Yeah, yeah. I don't live in a tutorial fucking, you know, mean forest. - Right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But you could.

- And I will. And I will. - And I will. So God keep going. - Unlike hot, which focuses on overt sex appeal or cute, which leans towards a youthful or smaller features,

which you've been called. Handsome implies a refined more permanent sense of good look. - Exactly, let's go. - Authenticity and grooming, you have that. You're very authentic and you're very well groomed.

You always smell good. The total package. You are a part of the total package. - Emotional and-- - No, no, no, this is bullshit.

- I don't think so. - Yeah, no. - Is AI wrong? - You're going to say AI is a lie. - If you look for a defined aesthetic standards,

it's good. - We ought to your mind, because I smell good. I'm fucking hot. - You do smell good. - I know, but that's not, I've--

- I've been tricked by a smell before, buddy.

- Women like funny, first.

- That's what they say? - No, that's bullshit. - I believe it. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - If you weren't funny, you'd be hideous.

- Okay. (laughter) - Okay. So, if I wasn't funny, I would be very unattractive. It's a part of your--

- Your aura is-- - That's right. - When I'm saying-- - Your funny is part of your looks. - What I'm saying is, before I was a stand-up,

was I funny? - Yes. - More funny than most guys.

“So, I, you know what I mean, I would hit on girls, right?”

And they were like, you know, and they claim we-- funny is the thing, right? Then a year later, they'll have a boyfriend. The most unfunny as a guy you've ever seen in your life. - They eventually come around, look what's happening.

- No, no. - No, what I'm saying is that they-- - I guess, you know, you guys aren't-- - The funniest part about this is we're about to have one of the most handsome dudes on earth.

On the podcast, it's so funny. He's so handsome and talented. It's just to him. Get in here, Jimmy. Get him in here. - Jimmy, come on.

- This is going to be the best version of this guy need some-- - No. - How are you, Jimmy? - Good to see you.

- So, Jimmy, how are you, buddy? - Okay, sit up. Get him. Set him set up in the blue chair. He needs to be a part of this great men

have sat in those chairs. - The blue.

- Jack, black one.

- Jack, black sat in that.

- Oh, this is black. - It's nice, right? - What a handsome guy.

“- People think it might not be comfortable,”

but yet it is. - Jimmy, put your earphones on if you want. - If you don't need to, if you don't have to. - You don't have to. - And I ask you a question, Jimmy.

- Yeah, yeah. - And there's no offense to the question I'm going to ask you. - Okay. - Okay. - None at all.

- Okay. - Am I objectively handsome in societal terms? (laughs) - Already stops, stops, stops, stops, stops, stops. - No, no, he's thinking.

- No, no, no, I think it's yes or no. - He's thinking. - If I was Matt Rife, he would say yes immediately. - Maybe he's not attracted to Matt Rife. - Okay, but Matt Rife is objectively handsome.

- Maybe not to him. - Okay. So go ahead. - I would say. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I would say objectively. - Yeah, yeah, he'd be not. (laughs) - And let me say something. I love Jimmy more than anyone else in this room

because he's being honest. - But Jimmy doesn't know you. - It doesn't matter. This is, I'm talking about just on my physical appearance. - Mm.

- Okay.

“Without knowing my personality, this is what we're talking about.”

- You're adding in, oh, can you do sketch? - You can. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're good at sketching. - You have improv skills, no.

- Yeah. - You give a fuck about that, right? What I'm saying is Jimmy, I'm not objectively handsome. (laughs) - But, there's no point.

- But you may have, what did he say? - But you may have sex appeal. - Yes. Yes. Sex appeal.

You've got sex appeal. Now, Jimmy has sex appeal, and he's handsome. So he's in first place. - Okay. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

- But you're still running, baby. You're still in the race. - Okay, I want to say this. Okay, Jimmy. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Alright. - Jimmy Tatre was on the show, by the way. Ladies and gentlemen. - Give him a comment.

- Thank you, Jimmy. - And nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. - Yeah.

- I can't be because I've never met before.

- I feel like we've, I feel like we've been. - We never know that, never. (laughs) - You've never met before. - I, I, we never.

(laughs) - Good to see you, though. - Good to see you. - Yeah, yeah. - Very handsome.

- Likewise. - But, he means mentally. - He means mentally. - Eventually, you're awesome. - So, I, I don't want to be a downer, Jimmy.

- Yeah. - Okay. (laughs) (laughs)

“- And we're going to get into, you know what I mean?”

- Yeah. - Everything else. But I just want to say that if there was a hundred, we, no one knew who the fuck we were, right? - Right.

- Attractive women. - All over the world. - And the two photos of us from head to toe, and said, who's the most handsome between you and I? - Yeah.

- What do you think the answer is?

- Well, but it's all over the world. So remember, you're going to get some, you're going to get some votes that he won't get. - Okay, I know. But what do you think the, what do you think it will be?

- I think maybe, maybe, you know. (laughs) Maybe like, maybe like 70, 30, 75, 25. - Pretty good. - Yeah, yeah.

- And that's all you. (laughs) - That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. - Okay, but that would--

- You're like, I'm coming in in the middle of this. - No, no, you're like, I'm coming in the middle of this. I think we're really good to see you. Give Jimmy a round of applause for everybody. - But this would be the same number.

- No, I was just, let me say this. - Let me say this. - Let me say this. - Let me say this. - I was just trying to get fat.

- This will be the same number with him and I. It would be a 70, 30, same. - I don't think so. - Yes, it would. - Because I'll tell you why.

- I said, would do it. As traditional handsome looks. - Jimmy, I saw you. - When you were in San Diego, Bob both either. - Bob both either.

- Right. I was in the audience watching you perform. And there was two women sitting next to me. This is God honest truth. They were very both attractive.

And they looked at me and they go, "You're friend on stage is hot." - Because I'm on stage. - So I'm speaking truth. 70, 30, you and I.

- Maybe a little, it might be a little more skewed. Maybe maybe 65. - Okay, 65, 35. So I got five more percent. - What was that?

- Thank you so much for being honest. - Welcome to the show, man. - See? - I am. - Welcome to the show.

- I'm sweating over here. - Yeah, I don't be sweating. - Don't be sweating, Jimmy. - We've got five of the shows. - This is the vibe of the show.

- We already got through a lot of our show. - What was your stance on this? - I think he's extremely attractive. He's put it himself down for no reason. I think he's got so much.

- I'm not putting myself down. I'm being objectively honest. - He's got a lot of genocide. You know, there's something about Bobby that's on, when somebody says people have the X factor when it comes to talent,

which you have. You're not a lot, you can't dictate what that is. He's got that for sex appeal. Women do find him attractive.

- A lot. - Yeah. - That doesn't surprise me. That's why I said, "Thank you. That's why I said the sex appeal."

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you said objectively. - Yeah, that's what I said. - Yeah, objectively. If I didn't know who I was.

“I think I think the number would be closer to 99 to 1.”

I do globally. Historically. Historically in Rome. - That's not going back. - Oh, that's not going back.

- Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it roam. And any historical-- - Mr. Patemia? - Yeah, Mr. Patemia. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- For sure. - Right, yeah. - And I'm okay with it. - I have high self esteem, right? I have worth.

- Yeah. - I walk around with my head up high, arms open with confidence.

- He always walks like this.

- Yeah, I always walk like this. - Like a penguin, okay? I see that's, we haven't met, but I have seen you walking. - Exactly, I do that. - Yeah.

- Because that's confidence. I have confidence. - Right, you walk. - No, no, I'm engaged. - But he's--

- Is he a graduate? - Is the woman that came in here earlier? You're the one you're engaged with. - No. - Okay, who is she?

That's Laurence. - Lauren, come out here for a second. - Do you think he's gonna bring his fucking fiancee to this? - No, Lauren, you don't have to be on screen. Just, just, can I see you?

- Oh, there's a high Lauren that's-- - High Lauren, that's your public. - Just stay right there, your public says, right? - Yeah. - She doesn't wanna be on camera.

- She's not gonna be on camera. - Okay. - Are you she on camera? - No.

“- All right, so we can even believe your name out, right?”

Can I ask a woman? (laughing) (laughing)

- No, no, you're not gonna--

- She can't even answer it. - Okay. - She knows better. - She's a publicist. The last thing she wants to do is--

- Okay. - The fame signer said, it's not defaming I've accepted. I'm fine. Do you mean how worked, how's your life? - You know, it's, it's, uh, it's good.

- Good, yeah, it's good. - Yeah, how you doing? - Busy bull. - I feel great. - I feel wonderful.

- You're fast? - Do I ever fast? - Yeah. - I did, uh, like a broth fast. - Oh, broth fat, yeah.

- For how long? - Like, like, 36 hours. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Uh, I think I alternated.

- Yeah, you gotta keep switching. - Yeah, my friends were on like a water fast, like a couple of years ago, they were like, we wanna do this set, they did like a 72 hour water. - That's insane.

- And that sounded intense. - 24 hours as long as I've gone. But I do it once a week. - Oh, really? - Yeah.

- And how do you feel after?

- Terrible. - Hungry. - Yeah. - I feel absolutely terrible. - So why do you keep doing it?

- I don't know why. - Yeah, I have no, because you go on the internet, they say it's good for you. - Yeah. - They do.

- But you're not doing any actual benefits.

“- I think that I feel, I haven't had diarrhea”

in a long time. - Okay. - That's a good thing. I haven't had diarrhea in a long time. - That's good.

- My stool is perfect. - Oh. - Pure perfection. - Yeah. - Like solid.

- We're thinking about entering into a contest. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I could win. - After every stool, you take a photo and send it to a graduate BTA, so you give me a score out of 10.

- Oh, I see what you've done there. That looks pretty good. - Yes. - And I've ever some six questions. - Of course I do that.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, we all do. - Yeah, and then I also know process foods. - Unless they've been processed. - Yes.

- If they're already processed, I eat them. - What is that? - What is that in tail though? - Like process foods. - So you're not eating like chips?

- No, like any no chips? - No, no carbs. - No carbs. - Yeah, yeah. - At all.

- Unless there are things that I'm eating that have carbs, I'm not aware of. (laughing) - Like he has, he has pasta and bread. - Yeah, but I'm not aware of those things.

- Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - No, no. Here's the thing, Jimmy. I eat Japanese purple potatoes.

- Got to have purple potatoes. - Sweet potatoes? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Those are good for you, you know. - Sardines, salmon, I mean avocado,

things of that nature. I'm sure they have carbs, but, you know what I mean? I'm trying to eat everything on organic. - A lot of organic. - Are you a diet guy?

- I recently, I did a blood test. Came back super high cholesterol. - Me too. - And I was shocked 'cause I thought I ate really well. But I wasn't being mindful of saturated fats.

- So then I read-- - What are those? - What are those? - That's like, you know, butter has the most. - So good.

- And what I didn't realize was like eggs. I was eating like four eggs a day. Each egg has like a gram and a half. - A saturated fat. - A saturated fat.

- Well, the egg whites have none. So I'm fine with eating egg whites. So I kind of switched over. Cut back on red meat a little bit. - I'm gonna die, I don't care.

- Yeah, eggs cheese, yeah, I like it. - Cheese is also, it's like all the fun stuff. - Yeah, I don't eat any of that right now. It's been weeks. - So what do you, oh, you said salmon and Japanese purple potatoes?

- Would you call me purple potato? - My dick's purple. - Yeah. - Yeah, it really is. But anyway, let's move on from that pack.

Why are you nodding your- - Well, I wish I had known that before you asked me. (laughing) I would have given you some points. - I had a different color penis.

- Yeah, point.

So steak also has saturated fats.

- Yeah, a lot.

“- If you cut out the fat though in it, is that fine?”

- That helps. - It helps. - It helps. - If you eat leaner meat, but if I eat leaner meat, okay.

- I think do what you feel is right and then you'll die. So who cares? - Yeah. - It's not gonna matter. You gotta be on camera a lot.

That's why you're doing it. - It was more because, I mean, I thought I was eating well and then I saw that and I was like, oh. - Do you and your wife soon to be do the thing where you meal prep and meal plan together?

- No. - Okay. - Is she wild card sheets or whatever she wants? - She likes to cook. - I like to eat what she cooks.

- Yeah. - And then if she's out of town, I'm a big post-nate guy. - Big post-nate. - What do we eat too?

- Post-nate too. - Yeah. - I'll do all of it. - I do all of it too. - Yeah.

- Yeah, but it's bad because there's nothing good on there. It's usually pretty bad shit on there. - No. You know what I do? I post-nate's marijuana.

- That I do as well. - Thank you. - On the road? - What do you mean? - When you're out of town?

- From now on, when I go out of town, can Sardines in my fucking bag? - It's all you're having.

“- Yeah, Sardines or do you bring 'em with?”

- Yeah, I'm gonna bring 'em with. - Sardines? - Sardines? - Sardines? - Sardines?

- Yep. - I hope that's okay. (laughs) - That's insane that you do that, man. - Are you ever hungry and then you're like,

and you just check your pocket and I'll think of it. And you have a pack of sardines. - Yeah, yeah. - You have a looser. (laughs)

- Oh yeah, oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Mountain Dew is America's 250th birthday. And let me say, I'm an American. - You really are.

- A lot of my memories going up is with the Mountain Dew. - That's right in this. - By the lake, with my dad. - On a bench. - Summer moments.

- Deserve an iconic drink like Mountain Dew. You've been having Mountain Dew for a long time. It's an American. Original, baby, the refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew is a perfect companion to your all-American

summer adventures, whether you're drinking, down by the lake, have a drink. - Yeah. - Hot dog, you fish, and you swim in. - Road to whatever you do, road to long.

- Yeah. - And they've been tasting great since '48, man. - Oh my God, 1948. And let me say it's on that 18, 19. Okay, and I'm gonna say that's too, right there.

When you taste Mountain Dew, you know exactly what you're getting. - You do. - That citrus fresh taste. - You can do the do, and you know the two brothers

created Mountain Dew deep in the foothills of Tennessee, they should get prepared because we should create that. We're two brothers, and we should create our own little drink. We'll hold up against Mountain Dew, probably not. - No, 'cause it's the king.

- Whether you're celebrating on the grill at the beach, riding your own living room, sitting on a Mountain Dew is a great way to start a damn good time. - Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original tasting great since '48.

- Look for Mountain Dew and stores near you at Mountain Dew.com. That's Mountain Dew.com. - Quince! Oh my God, I love Quince. - Thank you to Quince. - Yeah, this was huge.

- The one thing I love about Summer is how easy everything feels, and you feel this fabric, dude. The days are a little bit more relaxed, and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable,

go anywhere pieces again, and again and again, and again, you know why? So 100% European, linen pants. - Oh my God. - These are breathable, easy to throw on,

and the summer upgrade your rotation needs. They're starting at just $34. I don't know what you're looking at. - I don't know what you're holding price-wise, but this is extremely affordable,

and these pants are so very comfortable, and they're a little stretchy, because sometimes I eat a few too many chips and soda pop. - Okay. - Everything at Quince's price, 50 to 80% less than similar brands.

They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're paying for exceptionally quality, not brand-market. - Yeah, you're not gonna get marked up with Quince,

and that's the best part. They've been a partner with us for a while,

and at first they sent you stuff,

and you go, "Well, let me see if I like it." Well, McCone wore my shirt to the lake all weekend, and I was really mad about it, but luckily he left my pants along, 'cause sometimes he does steal my pants.

- Well, my Oxford blue shirt, I don't have anything. - No, I don't have anything. - Make your summer wardrobe easier, go to Quince.com/badfriends for free shipping on your order, and 365-day returns.

- Now available in Canada too. - Wow. - That's Quince, QU-I-N-C-E.com/badfriends for free shipping, and at 365-day return. - That's Quince.com, QU-I-N-C-E.com/badfriendsquince.com/badfriends.

- Badfriends. - Yeah, I'm trying to, I don't know what I'm doing. - Well, yes, you can be carry it, but it's risky, why? - Because it goes over the other side of your bag. - You can bring certain things in your carry-on,

but it's risky. - It's very risky. (laughing) - The water goes over the ounce limit. - Oh, fuck.

What if you catch, check in your bag?

“Well, you should just keep them all in your mouth.”

The whole flight gets smaller when you're hungry. - Okay, you don't check your bag. - Yeah. - You don't check, you don't check 'em. - I know, I only do carry on, like a hobo.

- I have a dick and a little bag, and I walk across. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He takes a train to L-A-X. - Yeah, it takes a train, it takes a train hop. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- But you don't ever check a fucking bag. - No.

- Never, unless we have to when we're on a big tour.

- For going on the run, the world, yeah. - What about Australia, are you gonna check one? - Don't do it, yes. Try to see if you can get away with it without doing it. We so funny to try to do that.

- Well, how long are you gonna be there for? - Two weeks. - Easy money. You do laundry at a venue. - Yeah, I'll laundry it.

- I think you should, I think you don't need-- - Two weeks, you gotta check two weeks.

- I'll tell you why.

- Very good question, Jimmy.

- Right? - Very good question. - Thank you. - Okay, so, do you see that? - See this?

- Size four. - No, that's like the time. - Is that the shoe, Jimmy? - It's the jeans. - I have raw denim on.

- I bring one pair of jeans. - Okay. - So I can fade them. - Right. - So all I have to do is put shirts in.

- Yeah, underwear, too, yeah. - Underwear and socks.

“- That's true 'cause the pants, that's what takes up the most space.”

- Exactly. - Well, when you're in short for two weeks, how many pants do you bring? - I bring too many pants. - But he's a hot guy.

Hot guys have too many pants. - Just said it again. - Hot guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, your hot guy. - Yeah, because hot guys--

- Ugly dudes, one pair. - One pair. (laughter) - I'll do two, that's the other five. - Oh, I say, yeah.

(laughter) - Hat guy. - No. - And in my head, I'm going, why do hot guys have more pants? - Oh, you're hot guy, hot guy, hot guy, hot guy, hot guy.

- Let me ask some brass tax real fast. - Yeah, yeah. - How fun was it working with Will Ferrell for real? - It was great. - Best thing ever.

- Yeah. - I've never met him. - Cool is guy in the world. - He's the best. - Have you met him?

- Yeah, but, you know-- - I've never met him. - In past it, it's not a real issue.

- I've never even been around him.

- No way. - Yeah, I have a hard time believing that. - That's the 100% truth. I've never been seen him or-- I mean, the other day I saw Vince Vaughan.

- Yeah. - 100% will Ferrell. - I know, but I'm just telling you-- - I get the association legendary comedy guys, Tall. - Tall.

- Tall. - No, what I'm saying is, is that I'm telling you how close to proximity I've been. - Okay, this is the top, the degrees of-- - Yeah, yeah.

- This was my fifth time working with him. - See, you're hot. (laughing)

“- I mean, that's what Will wants, he wants--”

- I know, he does. - He's got to be the ugly. - This is the fifth time, but first TV series. - This is his first, I think, like it's his first series that's like his series.

- That's crazy, that's crazy. - That's crazy. - Why, because in my mind, I think for sure, he's had a television show before. But now he's a movie star and then he never--

- He's a great-- - And trailers. - Does big, big, big movies. - Big movies. - At least that I know of. I don't know if he's had like a--

- The Hawk now on Netflix right now. - Yeah. - I know that he, or maybe the shrink next door, is that a, is that a show? - Yeah.

- Is he, oh yeah, he was the series regular on that. - And then he obviously, like, he's mountain down, but I think this is like-- - But it's his lead shit, like it's the Hawk, right? - Yeah, he's the Hawk.

- We did an advertisement for your show. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - How did it go? - We were the hat.

- No, we were the hat. - We were the hat and we had a good time doing it. - Yeah. - Because we're proud of you. - We are very proud.

- And congratulations. - Where'd you guys shoot most of the show? - All in LA. - Everything in LA? - The whole thing in LA, except we shot it, TGL.

- Oh, and Florida. - And Florida, so we did like the last couple days, we would go out and during the commercial breaks, we would shoot at TGL. - So that was--

- Well, we've got the boys got the hats on, there you go. Good job boys, where'd it be, team players? - Yeah. - Is that Luke Wilson? - Yeah, it's funny 'cause Owen has a golf show

and then Luke's doing this to combat it, which is very funny. - Yeah. - That's amazing. - Almost like a fuck you.

- What's Luke like? - Luke is cool. - Yeah. - He's an interesting dude. He's like very casual and like chill.

- Yeah, that's good. - And laid back. - Yeah. - Exactly like his brother. - And he's definitely the best at golf at a three of us.

- Oh really? - Yeah, he's Lucas. - He's actually quite good.

“- Are they better than Andrew, have you played with Andrew?”

- I don't know if he's, I think he's pretty good. - Yeah. - And he's one of the best. - I, you're, can I say something? - Yeah, Jimmy.

Pure athlete. - Pure. - I think we need to get you, I think we need to get you on the show. It'd be nice. (laughing)

- Yeah. - You know what I pissed off about, Jim? - I call you, Jim? - Yeah, sure. (laughing)

- This is like an old cowboy movie. - Yeah. - And a car, Jim? - Go ahead, Bob. - So, Jim, hit me, Bob.

I will, Jim. (laughing) - I'm good, Bob. (laughing) - Got your good.

What a crafty. - Call me Robert. - Okay, then you call him, Jiminy. - I call him, James. - Jimithy.

- His first name is Jimithy.

- Is it really Jimithy? Can I call you Jimithy? - Oh, my license, it's Jimithy. - I'm gonna call you Jimithy from now on. - Okay, cool.

- Can I call you Jimbo? - Jimbo, I'm not as passionate. - Yeah. - That's why I'm gonna call you that. - Because there was in my high school,

a father of one of the kids named Jimbo, and everyone thought he was super cool, and he was... - Not cool. - Not cool.

- All right, let's go back to Jimmy. So, Jimmy, I'm gonna say that Andrew is a great actor. Can you agree on that? - Okay. - I can't.

- Okay. - What's the angle here? - There is no angle. There's only truth today. - Yeah.

- Today is about on the truth. - He's big on a truth. - Yeah, okay. Is that you're a great actor? - That's nice.

- And you're a great golfer, right? Season two, get this guy on the...

- Yeah.

- He has no control over that.

He's an actor on the show. - You can say things. - I can say things. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can say things.

I can say some stuff. - No. - Yeah.

“- It makes me mad that there's these golfing projects”

that you're not in the top three in. - I get that. - I think it should be on it. - Yeah. - This is just for us.

- I like where you are though. Pretty close to my house. - Oh, it is nice. - Oh, that's nice. So you're in the area.

- I'm like, you know, 10 minutes away. - Oh, you're 10 minutes away. That's perfect. - Yeah, it's great. - Did you read for this show?

- For... - The Will Ferrohawk? - Oh, I actually did it because... - Offer only. - I had just...

- You know he's off for all that. - Offer only. - No, I had literally just come off for a movie with the whole...

with Will and the whole, the whole team.

- Perfect. - Mm. - And so they made it happen. - Went straight from that in the... - Yeah.

- Yeah. - He's a good actor. He's nice to look at. He's nice to work with. You know what I mean?

He doesn't cause problem. - That's why he's so successful. - Yeah. - And then also fortune features in this. - Yeah.

- Who's the one of a friends? - A good friend. - I love fortune. - So fucking funny. - Yeah.

- She plays the catty. - She's the catty.

“She plays a catty that's like, he picks up”

in a Walmart parking lot. - Love. - And is like, hey, do you wanna be my catty? - Yeah, just a random woman from Walmart. - Yeah, yeah, because he's just like,

he's like this kind of washed up golf for who's trying to make his way back under the tour. - Yeah. - And something happens.

He needs a new catty.

And he just sees this woman.

And he likes her vibe at a certain point. And he's like, hey, do you wanna be my catty? And she's like, I have no idea what that means. So the whole half of the time, he's like telling her.

- Explaining to her golf. - Yeah, he's like, let me get my seven eye on him. She's like, which one is that? So the one, the one with the seven eye on her. - Kind of on the nose.

- Yeah. So wait, this is the funniest part about the show that I did notice was he's got Luke's got a shirt on that has Mike's heart lemonade on it. - Yes, he's character is sponsored by Mike's heart lemonade.

- But the layers of this is funny and true because obviously Mike's is a sponsor of the show. So like, clever move by them to be like, it's funny. Also we're gonna, they're, are you the nemesis in the show?

- I, we kind of are, you're the nemesis. - Nemesis, nemesis. - Nemesis. - We are, yes, code nemesis. - Yeah, oh, code nemesis.

- Aren't you his son? - I'm the son, yeah. - Yeah, he's his son. - Oh, but I play a pro golfer and he plays a pro golfer and a certain point he's worried

that I'm gonna kind of start to outshine him. - That's so funny. - So he sets off kind of on a mission to take me down. (laughing) - That's funny.

- It seems like maybe it's gonna be like a nice kind of father son's story. - Yeah, it's like, you know, maybe he'll coach him. - Yeah. - He's like, now.

- Do we ever see your mother? - Oh yeah, my mother is Molly Shannon. - Oh, it's so good. - Ever heard of her. - So good.

- Anyway, no, she's great. - What a talent. - One of the sweetest. - What a sweetest. - And most talented people.

- She is so funny. She, unlike the last is shooting everyone's kind of weaving and I just, I was like, oh man, I haven't sit by the Molly yet and I just hear like, boom, boom, boom. And I'm like, walk out of my trailer

and she's blasting Chief Keef. Then I'm like, I'm like, Molly and she's like, she's like, I love Chief Keef. (laughing) She goes, do you know Chief Keef?

- Isn't he great? - Yeah, that's great. - I love it so much. - That's amazing. - It's really awful, like a sub slapping.

- She's like, two, 12s in the back. - Yeah, yeah. - I make it thump. By Jimmy. - Yeah, literally.

- She's the shit. - Can I ask you another question, Jim? - Yeah, yeah, shoot Bob. - He's inquisitive, dude. - Do you want children?

- Don't watch what? - Do you want children? - Do I want children? - Yes. - We're trying to sell some here, guys.

Bring out the kids. (laughing) - We have a Nigerian and Puerto Rican. (laughing) - Choose wisely, daydro.

- I was looking for an Asian. - Good. - Do you want kids? - We can't have kids, we tried. We did it for a long time.

- Okay. - Couldn't do it. - But I will, you adopt a Nigerian or Puerto Rican. We have a couple of back there. - I think come home with me.

- Oh, they do. - Yeah. - Is that why you're asking? - What? - Because.

- Oh, no, no, not because of me. - Not because of them, no. - No, but we did try to have kids. I just, I'm at the point, I'm 43. I think I might have missed the trend.

“- Yeah, I'm 55, what the fuck are you talking about?”

- But, but Asians, specifically Koreans. They're good, we're losers. - No, look at the world cup. - They're good as old dads. Old white dads, Gary and Sad, old Korean dad,

funny, sweet cute. - Jimmy, give Korean friends. - I think so. - Oh my God. - Well, you got one now.

- You got one now, so that's one. - I'm rackin' my brain. - Where'd you grow up? - I grew up in LA. - In here.

- Yeah. - Yeah, where'd you get a high school? - I went to Notre Dame and Sherman Oaks, but I grew up on the West Side. - Mm, huge Venice.

- Huge. - Do you have Asian friends? - Yes. - Okay, that's all I wanted to hear. - Yeah, growing up in LA, for sure you have Asian

friends, this is LA, and Mexican friends, for sure.

- You're a West Side kid, I didn't know that,

you're a West Side kid. - You're a West Side kid, how West? - Venice. - Okay, you could be a notion kid. I don't know.

“- I was West, it was good to have been born on a boat.”

- Yeah, they're old. - But Venice, Venice, you grew up in Venice 'cause you're what hold you. - I'm 34. - Yeah, you grew up in Venice,

and it was still pretty tough on your kid. - In the 90s, yeah. - It was like a rough patch down there. - It was, yeah, it's definitely changed a lot. - Since I lived there.

- Sure. - Are you a dog town kid? - Oh yeah. - You are. - I was a skate rat.

- Skate rat? - I, you look like a dog town. - It's a kid to me. - Yeah. - You do.

Did you get in fights when you were a kid? - Not so much, not. - Were you in lords of dog town? - I wasn't in lords of that. - Do you know Tony Alva?

- I don't, I wish I did.

- Yeah, you know who he is.

- But I did, yeah, that. - I mean, after I saw lords of dog town as a kid, I was like, oh man. - That's my life story. - But that's us.

- Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah. - Isn't that crazy though? Do you see movies like that knowing that you grew up

in the thick of that thing? Like in that place, whether you knew it or not? - Well, honestly, you know what was, when I saw the movie mid '90s. - Yeah.

- I like wanted to not like it,

“because I was like, nah, skateboarding movie,”

like what do they know about? - Jonas is skating, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And then I saw it and I was like, oh man,

that was like, that was my life. And it was like, the three dudes, it was like that black dude on the left, and then like, the little boy. - That guy, the guy with the long hair.

And it was like, that was my squad. I was like the little white dude, and then I had my two best friends, which is Mexican dude and his black dude, who were both like four years older than me,

and it was the one that filmed the videos. - No, he didn't skate at all. - No, I did, I did. - Let me ask you something. Can you do a pop shove it?

- Yeah. - Can you do a kickflip? - Yeah. - He'll flip. - He'll flip, I have, but I couldn't,

I don't know if I could do it right now. - But you pulled one off, but in your life. - Many, yes. - Oh, many. - Let me ask you another one, laser.

- No. - Okay, no laser flip. - If you can't do a fucking heel flip, he can't do a laser flip. - He's done a heel flip, he said.

- I know he said he can't really do. - I peeked at the tray full. - Trayflip's big. - Trayflip's huge. - Yeah, the tray flip works.

- Can you tray flip onto a rail? - No. - Okay. - What? - Trayflip onto a rail?

- Okay. - He's not a pro skateboarder. - Okay. - That's insanely hard. - He could be like, you to Horgomi. - He could be.

- Yeah, I could. - He's so good. - He could be. - This is your crew. - That's your crew.

- That was literally my crew. - Yeah, this is why I like you. - Now were you a little bad boy though? - I wasn't that bad, no. - No, no drugs, no booze.

- I was more of a good boy back then. And then the friends were kind of bad boys.

And my parents were always like,

"We don't like you hanging out with." - Mexican. - It was like he was. (laughing) - No, no, no, no.

- Can we, why can't you have white friends? - No, that was gay. - There was Tony Alva! - There was Chris and AJ and my parents like them. But then there was this kid Hugo.

And he was even older. - Yeah. - He was like 45. - He was like, I don't know how old, but I thought he was like 20, yeah, yeah.

But you know, I was like 12. And he would like pick up cigarettes and white onions. He would like pick up, and I was like damn. - He was like so. - Hardcore.

- That's hardcore. - How do you go has hepatitis B? (laughing) - Yeah. And then he, he like he'd my dad's car went,

oh yeah. And he goes like this, he'd go, yeah. - I was like, what's so bad about Hugo? He's like, he fucking he'd my car. - Yeah.

- Why did he take that car? What was this? - Does he look the windows? - He goes look the windows. He was just, I don't know why he'd keep the car.

I think it was just to feel something. - Dominance. - Yeah. - Well he was beat, he would go came from pretty tough household. - For sure.

- Yeah, Hugo was definitely abused. And this was his way to last. - Did your dad catch him? - He didn't like, I don't know if he, I don't remember if he saw, he definitely didn't see it.

But he knew it was Hugo. - How did he know it was Hugo?

“- And I think I wrote Hugo in the second car.”

(laughing) - Hugo was here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta ask, I gotta ask my parents about that because one of those things is a very vague memory.

I remember Hugo, he'd my dad's car. - Did you rat Hugo out? - No, no. - Oh, oh, oh, maybe he did. - I don't know.

- If I did, definitely the right move. - Yeah, yeah, that's right move. - Can you keep my dad's car? - No. - Wow, you told my, you told your dad on me.

It's like, okay, if I can keep his car. - Yeah. - Can I just say something about King Cars? - Yeah. - All right.

- And you whites. - And I'm with it. - You whites? (laughing) - I'm sorry.

- Go ahead. - All right. - You're outnumbered here, pal. - I know, but I will stand my fucking point. Go ahead.

- Who cares? - Key to car, it's just so mean. - Why? - I keep cars every day, it's fine. (laughing)

- What does the car work? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Does the door open? - So you're saying you walk outside right now

- All right, all right, so guys answer that question for me.

“If somebody keyed my car right now, would I care?”

- You would have noticed.

- You would never fix it.

- He wouldn't notice. He wouldn't know it's there. - And also do I care? - No. - No.

- His car's always beat the shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - My theory is if it runs, it's fine. Now if he took in engine, let's say Hugo took the engine. Right?

Then I'd be like, hey, Hugo took your engine, dad. - Yeah, it's a big deal. - That's a big deal, he's gone. - Yeah, the wheels are all gone. - It's a big deal.

- Yeah, it's a big deal.

“But as long as the car moves, you can open doors, right?”

And everything else, a little key, that's fine. the car guy. I'm a car guy. It's a big car guy. Yeah, yeah. Because the whole point of a car is to get from A to B, you know? Right. Jimmy. Yeah. No, it is. It might making a point for you or no. You. You are. It's a valid point. All right. Can I kill your car after the show? I'd rather you did it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. Valid idea though. Also, this is why now a lot of new cars still have their, there's no physical key. That's why they put them in like little things or it's keyless now. I have a hunting knife.

Use always to test your keychain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a cling on hunting knife. Thank God. Yeah. Second. I thought you wouldn't be able to. Yeah. It's worried. Yeah. Where are my keys? I do have a act. Does have a knife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have one of those. He just carries a sigh around. Yeah. You're like, sir, you have five packs of sardines and a hunting knife and no clothes. Am I being detained? If a dog pooped on your driveway. Yes. That's not your dog. Yes. Would you get angry? Well, it's funny. You ask this just happened maybe two weeks ago. Amen. And I, it was your dog.

I was pissed. Yeah. I, my neighbor texted me, neighbor Dave and he's like, yo, one of the neighbors just left a massive shit in your driveway. And it's like, I mean, this was, this was a big one. And it's like dog. It's been fasting. Right at the bottom, right at the bottom of the driveway, you know? Yeah. And so I look at the cameras and I see the, I see the girl. I see her just let the dog take a shit. She's, she's like, on her phone, watches it happen and then just keeps going.

And I was like, I, for a second, my, my neighbor was like, he's like, you won't print that out and put it around and say this girl's leaving the shit's.

And I thought about it. And then my fiance was like, definitely don't do that. Okay, I won't do that. But I was planning on if I saw her being like, you got bags on you. Mm-hmm. And if she said, yeah, I'd say, make sure you're using them. Come here. I got it. I got it. You helped me clean something up. Yeah. Because Bobby's been on the other side of this. Bobby's had a fly or made Bobby's had a fly or made Bobby's had a fly or made something.

Oh, I'm Bobby Lee. I have a couple of dogs. They look like rats and they bite. Yes. I don't clean up. I don't clean up after them. If, ever. You can't advocate on my property.

“So someone made this in his old apartment complex.”

No way. Yeah. Love my dog's advocate on your property. You feel as though I owe you money or an apology. You know where to find me. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. So Bobby Lee live.

And then my podcast, Tiger Belly and Cle-- Yeah, and his name's girlfriend.

And Max girlfriend. Yeah. The address was there too. I mean, they plugged all your-- It was nice. Number one is a shout out. So what happened was Jimmy is this person took flyers, put them all over the neighborhood.

Yeah. And fun of cars. And guess what I did? I took the flyer. I made them into T-shirts. And I made money off of it. Really? Yeah. And they sold out.

You made-- I was going to say it's kind of a firesher. Yeah. I made the T-shirts off of it. It's under Tiger Belly and my podcast. Yeah. And this is what my belief is.

Right? You should be allowed. What pooping on people's lawns? He thinks you shouldn't have to clean up dog shit. Oh.

It's natural. Now you and I feel the exact same about it. Okay. So hold nothing back. Okay.

Yeah. I know I don't feel the same. I feel more closely to-- you have a whole scene about this in date. Yeah. We do a whole poop scene about that. That's exactly right. And you're mad about them putting it in your trash can. Yeah.

Which also-- I actually-- I'm like, look, if you put it in my trash can, it is what it is. I don't care about that. But don't put it in my recycling. No.

That's when I get mad. Put it in the right place. I'm like, at least put it in the black one. Yeah. You know?

Put it in the black one. Put it in the black one. Always. Yeah.

Interesting. Interesting stuff. This is hilarious.

“Because I'm over here thinking I had this unique idea to--”

It's not a flyer.

Like, I wasn't print-- print out my security camera footage of this girl.

And here you are. I'm going to shit on your driveway. Why? No. I want you to take a photograph.

I want to shit right in your fucking driveway, Jimmy. Oh, right? Get the public attention. And you make the shirt. Get the public attention.

You have like small dogs, right? No. I'm going to shit. Yeah. But it's said they're like rat-like.

They're small. They are tiny. One of them just died. In his right way. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Shouldn't have been shit. Yeah. He was hurt.

[LAUGHTER] He's hurt. OK. All right. Yeah.

We can-- A great episode. We had a comment. OK. We can agree.

But yeah, that exactly thing happened.

I do love that. No, it was like a Bernie's Mountain Doodle. You know, the big-- Huge shit. Yeah.

Huge. Mine are a little ones. I got to clean them up. Takes no time. Let's see.

Yeah. OK. Well, you know, because if it's on grass fertilizer, it's not though. It's not.

It's not our work. Who was that fertilizer? Is all poo fertilized? Not all poo. Not all.

It's all poo fertilized.

“So you played it who and then you kind of rub it in?”

Exactly. I'm a nature guy. Yeah. Not all poo fertilized. It's fertilizer.

Feeces are rich in plant nutrients, like nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, raw waste contains harmful pathogens, bacteria, and parasites. Oh. Safety broke. No human.

No any poop.

Any poop needs to be composted, specialized.

This is raw human waste. No, there's dogs. Dogs, dogs, dogs, pigs, hairy parasites. But post-series, health risks to humans. No, I'm sorry, then.

I didn't realize that. I didn't realize. That changes everything for me. I don't want parasites to be spread around. Yeah.

If they have it, but also it needs to be treated. You know what? Everyone listening right now, I apologize. I had a buddy that was like, he was like, yeah, like he is just massive dog. And he was like, yeah, sometimes like, I won't bring enough bags.

And the dog will shit multiple times and I'll have to just like bare hand it. What? And I was like, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Bare hand it.

Like there's no world where that's their hand shit. He said he bare handed it. No. And I was like, that is. Yeah, you don't bare hand it.

No. And here's my excuse.

“I didn't have sometimes I forget the bags.”

No, he forget the bags deliberately. No. That's not true. Sometimes I have the bags. Well, now I have a backyard.

Jimmy. It's poop. It's all poop. Yeah. Right.

And I have a pool and poo. It's a pool and poo. Yeah, yeah. I have a swimming pool and a pool. And when my girlfriend and I go lay out in the backyard,

we have to angle our chairs around the pool. Yeah. And I have fake grass. You do the math. Oh.

Yeah. You do the math. Yeah. So you all this time you thought you've been fertilizing your fake. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Apparently the fake. But everything just changed for you today. No, not really.

I don't care. This will be the same. Yeah. Literally nothing will change. Jimmy, when does your show come out?

It's out. July 16th. It's out right now. So go check out Jimmy show. Please go watch the hawk right now.

Look on Netflix. Not only Molly Shannon and not only Luke Wilson and not only Will Ferrell, but our beloved Jimmy Tato, one of the most funny cool dudes that have gotten the pleasure to know. At the very least, I want to play golf with you outside of that show. I don't even need to be on the show.

We got to go play some golf. Yeah. We should play some golf. Yeah. I'm going to go fart around.

I'll be caddy. I'll be the four teams. Me and Bryson. He cadded for us. Me and Bryson and Bobby did a little thing.

I did you play. We just shot like a one-hole walk and talk thing. But we're going to do it. We're going to do it with Bryson soon. I want to do that.

The breaking thing. I think so. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Yeah.

Come on. I'm out. Please? No. Why?

I don't want to do it here. I did it one time. What's your handicap? I'm a 2.0 index. What is index?

Is that under? No index just means like it's like an aggregate. It's on the app. So any given course probably four or five, something like that for him. Yeah.

There's something around there. Did you have fun here, Jim? I did. Good. Please go watch the show on Netflix.

Can you look at that camera, Jim, say thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay!