Billie Eilish Returns

Oh, that's so easy. It's true.

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend joined by Sonom of Sestian, Hey Sonom.

Hello. And David, of course, hopping. Hello. And there's been a lot of chatter, I guess, online about Eduardo, because Eduardo just, I guess, this episode just dropped where he called me a little bit, and Eduardo, let's talk about

this. It's blowing up. People are loving it, that you called your employer a little bit, and you, today, was all blowing up admitted to me that you were a little rattled after. I was, I remember it happening, and I remember going home and talking about wife show

ass. How was work today?

“I was like, you know, kind of weird, and she said, what do you mean?”

She knows the hygiene.

She's seen some of the videos, and I said, today I think I went a little too far, and she

said, what did you say? I said, I called her a little bit, and she just started laughing, she didn't say, oh, my God, that's too far, she started laughing, well, you know, I looked into it, and apparently, and I consulted my doctor, and I talked to family, I am a little bit, so you are on safe ground, I feel better than that.

No, no, you, you, you, it just felt weird, you know, it's a, I'm not, you know, I don't think you used to be in work. It did feel just right in every way, there's a candid moment, yeah, but that's what makes it work. It wasn't weird for you at all.

No. Really? I think, because I, I don't know how you guys felt, but I was like, oh, whoa, Eduardo went there. Nobody else felt that.

You know, they went there, it sounds like he visited a place that we all know about. It's, he said the thing that we're all thinking, like it's the Emperor's, you know, new clothes. Okay.

“I, I wasn't, I think that's how I, I think you matched myself in this, I think you”

mirrored how I felt, and I just, so I just felt like I was getting into perfect, I was stepping into a bath that was perfect, human body temperature. That's how it felt to me. You create an environment that people feel safe to call you a little bit, yeah, yeah. Hey, watch it.

Yeah, you know, you, you have to be careful. Yeah, I mean, is it because it's Eduardo, is it, is he the only one who could say? Eduardo has, yeah, Eduardo has all kinds of credit. He's like the coolest guy here and he designed the studio, and he's, you know, he's not thirsty at all, he doesn't need praise, he's just this guy, he's just Eduardo, he knows

he's good. So when he says something, it has a certain ring of truth. It's insulted everybody in here. Well, yeah, but it's the rest of us are just like, because that for you, I know, by the way.

It's like, you're the only person in you.

“It's Eduardo, and then just a collection of the worst people I've ever seen.”

So no, you hired every single person in this room, I hired you, so no, I hired you. I don't even think I hired so anymore. I was interviewing her, she offered me a drink, I blacked out, and she was my assistant. Oh, no. Yeah.

Roofing me. Maybe I became my assistant, yeah. But to sign papers-- yes, many papers. But yeah, I do think, if Adam, if you call me a little bit, it would upset me. You know, if you said, like, hey, I'm going to do this dynamic ad insertion, it's a new

policy at serious. I'd be like, well, I don't think I want to do that. You'd be like, what do you? A little bit. I'd be upset.

You know? A little bit. If you said, hey, a little bit, I'd be freaked out. I would physically assault you. And David, that would be a huge mistake coming from you to call me a little bit.

Oh, you know. And what context would you say it? Oh, let's think of a context you'd say, oh, you'd say, hey, I'm going to see Hillary Duff tonight and put it up for the 7th night in a row. I'm going to see her, and then I'm following her to-- she's taking a vacation, and I'm following

her and her family. Oh, my God, I know where she's staying, that kind of thing. But if you said, hey, I'm going to go see a show tonight and I have an extra-- I have

a third ticket because Duff's in an eye are going, but Conan, you can come to you and

I said, I don't know. I'm-- it's kind of late, and I'll think that's my scene. So I don't think I'll go. That's like, fuck you, you little bitch.

Oh, God. Wait a minute.

Why'd you add your fuck to you?

Oh, my God. That means you're too far. That's way too far. She's insane. I thought it would-- I thought it would be like a new personality for me and that was awful.

That was not cool. Could you little bitch? No. That's not how you do it. Do you like it?

Do you like it? I think you gave him license to vent, and then he vented. Yeah. He says 10 years of working here. Did your mom came out?

Yeah. What if your mom heard that? What were you going to need to blip that? Is that true? Yeah.

She'd be upset, right? Does that point at any? Yeah. Yeah. Remember when I sent her flowers?

That was really nice. Were you with your contact? Yeah. We did a zoom, and she taught me how to put contact lenses in over zoom. And as I was talking to her, corn grew into the window behind her.

“That's how fast corn grows around your house.”

They were in southern Chicago, Illinois, whatever. And anyway.

And it was like-- and then the corn went, "Oh, help, too!"

Wash your hands first. Yeah, talking corn in southern Illinois that teaches you how to put contact lenses in. Oh, yeah. We got it. Okay.

So any who-- yeah, she'd be upset if she heard you talking to her. Yeah. But no, you just got mad, perhaps, for me. For-- you know what? I think it came out of your face because it was so right for you to say at that moment.

Test him it to you. I talked to some of my friends like that. So I just felt very comfortable. Oh. You know.

So can I start hanging with you and your crew? Maybe. What do you guys do when you hang with your friends? What do you go? You're just driving around in that car that the entourage guys had?

No. No, I don't do that. As we saw doors. Yeah, you see that. Licking kind of.

Just hang out. Watch the game. Watch the game. Golf. I want to drive around town with you and your friends.

And I want to rent the same car they used in entourage. Can we do that sometimes? Let's do it. And can we-- Where are you going to go?

I'm playing that pit bull song on. Oh my God. Back in time. Men in black soundtrack. Oh, God.

“What are you guys going to do when were you going to go around?”

We've seen by people. Okay. Just cruise. Yeah. Cruise.

Cruise. Cruise. Cruise. Okay. And then every now and then we stop off and we get what do we eat?

Um, some burgers, maybe. Okay. Some tacos. No. Why don't you say tacos?

I'm higher. He's going to pay. You're going to get some steak. You get a little steak. You put a little steak.

You put a little steak. It's tacos. What do you want me to say? You can say tacos. The way I say it.

You said it. tacos. Why would he say it the way you say it? But if I switched it. If I switched it.

And said tacos that way. Would you be offended or is great? Yeah. You'd be okay with it. If I was like, yeah.

I'm going to get some mayonnaise. And then I'm going to get some ice cream. And some tacos. Yes. You're okay with that.

That's cool. I'm going to start doing that. Yeah. Maybe with a lot of words. Like, case deias and stuff.

Don't say it that way. Yeah. Don't say it like that. Guess what? Yeah.

Guess what this is. Exactly. Your voice is going forward. You're trying to see Eduardo. Guess what you're doing.

You're trying to be Eduardo. I don't know what then. I like to have sometimes I like to have some starbursts. Yeah. Then I like to have some fanta.

Yeah. Me, me, me, me out of a can. Yeah. And then some tacos. Perfect.

In case of deias. All right. You can hang with us. You know. Yeah.

I'm going to. We're going to hang. We're going to drive around like this on trash. Like good. And of course, we'll get a taco.

My guest today is a Grammy award winning singer songwriter who's new concert movie Billie Eilish hit me hard and soft the tour live in 3D is out now. And this incredible person was on the show once before we had a blast. She's back. And I'm thrilled.

Billie Eilish. Welcome. We had such a good time last time you were here. I was the best ever. It was a little crazy.

I loved it. I really loved it. Okay. But best they ever means you've had it tragic life. I just wanted my favorite days.

I loved it so much. Pheneas was so upset. Yesterday we were in the studio and he had seen my calendar and he was like, "Are you doing Conan tomorrow?" I was like, yeah.

He was really upset. He was like, can I? I don't have anything to do with the movie. But please get all. Anyway.

I don't remember. There's a little awkward. But last time, it towards the end of the podcast, they said, "Billy, you're welcome back anytime." And then I, I don't know what got into it.

I turned to Pheneas, remember this? Yes.

And I was like, "You shall never be here."

It was weird. It was very weird and uncalled for it. Uncalled for it. No. I love Pheneas.

He's welcome here anytime. But I'm so thrilled that you were here today. The first thing, it comes to my mind. I made a mention this last time. I think this woman has magical eyes.

Look at those eyes. There.

“I mean, you must get this all the time, but...”

What do you mean?

Yeah. But also, it's...

“It looks like you can look into other worlds with those eyes.”

I don't have eyes like that. I have like suspicious creepy eyes. You have like artist eyes that look out and see new worlds. And then I'm like, "Hi, Billy, how's it going?" "Gallam, ring, ring, precious."

And you're just... there's so much right? How am I wrong? Yeah. I've been not. You're right.

They're both blue. Both your eyes are blue. You're right. They're better on her. They're better on her.

Yeah. It's okay. You have beautiful eyes, too, though, Conan. No, no. Billy, I'm just so sweet and ridiculous.

Okay.

Here's what I was thinking about today.

All right. This is what I'm thinking about. You know, I'm going to embarrass you for a second. But the statistics are insane. 44 hot 100 hits, 10 Grammys, two Oscars.

And I had this feeling today. It's time to get out. Get a Hyundai dealership in the valley. Billy's Hyundai's. That's a good car.

That's a good car. That's a Hyundai. You don't know how it does. Now listen, your team. You came with a big team.

They're going to be mad. It's time to get out. We're trying to open the door now. And I bolted the door so they can't get in. They're like smashing it for a while.

I just think just think about it. You with a card dealership. I think it'd be great. I do love cars. Why did you think of that?

Well, what made you think? I think the Hyundai's a solid car. But why? I'm just trying to get three Hyundai now. I think they sponsor on our show.

That's why they sponsor on this show.

I was at true. I don't even know that. I don't even know that. I don't even know that. I don't even know that.

I don't even know that. I don't even know that. I don't even know that. I don't even know that. I don't even know that.

That turned into a memory. That turned into a memory. I don't even know that.

“You have to do for this podcast when people listen to it.”

They used to be when we started out. It was really fun because they were these and listen. I love these products. I really do. But it would be like a company.

A company. There was a company called Fraction. I'm sure it still is. And they would take. Let's say you had a nice picture of you and Phineas together.

You would take it to Fraction. And they would send it back to you. And it would be etched into glass. And so I used to do these long runs where I would say, yeah, the day someone showed me a picture of my grandmother on paper and I ripped it up.

Because it's not on glass. Why do they do it? You have to have Fraction prints. So that was the early days. Then when the podcast got big suddenly,

it's these products that are harder and harder to kind of have the same fun with. Except. Lux be day. Oh, God. Lux be day.

That was that. Lux be day. It's a bidet. And yeah, I think you know what a bidet is. Okay, you've been around.

Oh yeah. And love me a good bidet. They would write the most embarrassing copy. And it was stuff like, you know, after a big thanksgiving meal, you can do some real damage.

There's always to mislead you.

And it was. And I didn't know. I was starting to read it before I knew what it was. So it's on the internet. Where is it?

Where can you see this side? It's on YouTube. And I lost my mind. Also, the second. They did.

We love the Lux be day people so much. They actually wrote an ad where it started with a fake ad for like a burrito company. Right. And then it turned into burritos. And then he's like, oh, my God.

Is this a Lux be day? No. They were tricking me. They were dating me. But, um.

Wow. Yes, I've humiliated myself many times with everything. But we're not here to talk about the Lux be day. Absolutely. How happy.

How happy. Can I just say one thing? How happy is it? It is Lux be day and fracture right now. Yeah.

One of the biggest music stars in the world is here. And we're talking about their products and not getting paid. Um, yeah. I just want to say that. Well, I want to start by asking about your family.

How is Finius, how's he doing? He's doing great. Okay. Doing great. He's getting married and August.

Okay. And do we do we like this person? We love her. Okay. Our name is Claudia.

She's wonderful. They've been together like seven years. And, um, yeah. It's fucking awesome. I'm very excited.

Okay. Are you going to participate in this festivity at all? Um. Or is that a secret you can say? Probably is a secret.

But yes, I'm very excited. Oh cool. Yeah. So he's, he's really good. We're like in the middle of making an album, which is interesting because the last time

I came here, the only time I came here was like three years ago almost to the day. Yep. And it was also in the middle of an album process. And it was actually, I was thinking about this like yesterday. It was the day that we made birds of a feather when we came here.

It was like the morning after we had written the beginning of it. Oh my God. And I remember coming in here and going into that room. You and I were just in talking. Yep.

And I remember like seeing some team members because all of my team was here for that. Because they were so excited that I was going to be doing this. Everyone on my whole table came.

“And I remember walking in there and going like, I think we made a really cool song.”

It's called Birds of the Feather. And I remember playing it for them. So with that being said, that's really isn't it? But can I say one thing? This is how I remember it.

We really left to go finish it. Anyway. This is how I remember that.

You came in and you were there with Phineas.

“And I said, you guys seem to be really tight.”

And you went, we are really tight. And I said it's almost like your birds of the feather. Oh my God. And this is what I recall very distinctly. Billy, you said birds of the feather.

Hey, there's something there. And I said, yeah, maybe an A minor. Remember this? And then you said, great idea. And you said, let's split the royalties.

And I said, okay. Let's talk.

And then it never happened.

I wrote birds of the feather. It's nice to try there. Anyway, that's how I remember it. That hair. Look at them.

This hair is everywhere. And you know what it is? I left it. Did you blow it? No, I did do anything.

This is called. Yeah, I went to a dry bar today and got my hair blown out. Because I'm going to prom. No, I let it get a little long for the Oscars. And then I haven't cut it.

And that was like two and a half weeks ago. And so what happens is it gets to this point where it's perfect. And then it goes like a centimeter more. It goes. It goes.

And that's boring. But did you do it to yourself? I didn't do anything. It's just this is me. This is your natural hair.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't. It won't play the same way it usually does right. Get my cool. I call it cool. Wave in it.

Now it won't do that because it's too long. And it's just a big floppy mask. It's not like a hay step. No, it looks wonderful. All right, well, I'm going to stick with this now.

But here's what I also remember.

I remember your parents were here. And there was such a good vibe. And I was talking to your parents for a while. And I felt so good because I thought this is a real family. Like this is not okay.

Let's pretend to be a real family. So we can make it through this podcast. You guys were here for quite a while. You wouldn't leave. Nope.

And then. Yeah, and I mean, really for like an hour later,

“I think you guys were still hanging out in the kitchen.”

It was really fun. Yeah. It was amazing. Telling you. But your parents were very cool and kind of in a great way,

unaffected by it all. Like they seemed like these are people that just want their kids to be happy. Yeah. Then I find out I was reading some interview. You did somewhere where you said,

Oh, when we drive places together, we all sing songs. You said we're like like a like a family from like the 1950s. And then in like a corny movie, is that true? It was true growing up. I probably said it like in a past tense, you know,

like we did growing up. We're not usually all in a car together. See. Like to like that image there. That's it.

That's it. Now at this point in your career, you two will be like, Well, you and your folks and your brother will get into a car together. And I'm thinking a station wagon from the late 70s. Who?

Yeah. No, that really makes a sound. Bro, bro, you. Oh, really. But yes.

And you know what? Sorry. Correct. Until I'm sorry. I correct myself up.

And that means someone's always laughing.

Yeah. Was there a time when you would do that? Because my family never did that. Ever. There was no joy is singing.

Was there joy is anything? Um, we love to be around to him. Chewing it. Chewing it. Like following it.

Like just chewing it. Just spitting it out like birds. It was hanging off of like history. We all had a different. We sat at a round table.

And each one, there was a hand. There was six hands. On six ropes for each kid. And we were just. But um, no, there's a lot of laughter.

Yeah. But there was no. You know, singing along or doing harmonies or anything. You can imagine my dad being here. Imagine you're doing it.

We weren't following. It was more like listening to music in the car and all of us singing along. Okay. More like that. And the only reason I probably said it like that is because my childhood friend used to comment

on like how kind of like surreal it was to be around our family because we were all singing all the time. Like singing and like harmonizing with each other and listening to music constantly playing music playing guitar and piano. And like so yes, music was always being played. But we grew up in the most musical family ever.

“Well, I think you have to be vulnerable if you're going to sing with other people.”

And I don't think in our family we were. We would have let ourselves be that vulnerable. I'm not even kidding. I think it was all about I guess Irish people. They're being like super well defended and then making jokes and everyone laughs.

But if someone was to start singing, the rest of us would have started throwing things at them. You don't even. So maybe I wanted to be fallout lying with my parents and my brothers and sisters. You know, it's funny. Yeah, I mean, I do my version.

I think you said you have a great voice. Yeah. I play music. I kind of play.

“I play guitar and I love to do like rockabilly stuff.”

That kind of so yeah, that's my thing. You did a new part. Folk Festival show. That's true. Oh my god.

What the hell? All right. Well, so your family didn't sing or play music. Did they did they were playing music? No, there were very few records in our house.

And the records there were were comedy records. But my parents didn't have, you know. Yeah. But we didn't. We were not.

And then later on, we started getting our own records. When we were teenagers. But my parents didn't have like a big record collection or anything. It just wasn't. We weren't that kind of people.

Right. So I would have not fit in with your family. Well. I would have been in the way back at the station wagon. Go on.

What's going on? Wow, wow, wow. We have something in common, which is I don't think you liked your name growing up. And I didn't like my name growing up. Let's talk about that.

Well, tell me about yours. Well, it's Conan. Yes. And that didn't fly when I was a kid. Wait, why?

People had never heard it before.

It was before the Conan, the barbarian comics really caught on. So early on, people were like, Conan, what's that? And then once the barbarian movies started to come out. I swear to God, everyone was like, Conan, we use a barbarian. Where's he saw it?

And it was, you know, about 15 years of that. So yeah. And so no wonder I didn't want to be vulnerable when I was singing. Yeah. Well, for me, it was, I same thing like nobody had heard it, except if they had heard it.

The thing that I would hear every single time I said my name was, that's a boys name. You know, every time I talk to any child, also like even adults would say other kids would say they'd just be like, Billy is a boy's name, but isn't Billy a boy's name? And you know, kids are like, little asshole. So they're going to be like, that's a boy, you know?

Yeah. And that really pissed me off. Also because I was like, I really wanted to be everything girly as a kid. Like as a kid, I loved, you know, all the things a little girl loves. I loved my princess things and my pink things and whatever.

And so Billy just didn't make sense.

But in hindsight, I mean, first of all,

I love my name and I wonder how you feel about your name now. I like it. I think I grew into it. Yeah.

“And I think that's what has to happen with your name sometimes.”

What is the name that you would have wanted? I want to tell you. Okay. Sparkle. I wanted to be named Sparkle.

What? More name. Me too. More realistically, I wanted to be named Violet. Really bad.

I really wanted to be named Violet. I wanted to be named Lavender. I knew a girl named Flower, like, very specific theme. Sure. Oh, also I, my, like, this is such a homeschooly vibe.

But my mom, when she was pregnant with me, like, Phineas was four or three. And he would call the belly, which I was in pirate. You'd be like, I want pirate to come out.

So they had named me pirate, like, as of kind of whatever. And they were thinking and considering naming me pirate, Oh, Connell. Because this is because this is my house. Pirates of badass pirates.

As a girl. But yes, it would have been a little tough. And also, bully central. I feel like, but at the same time, would have been cool.

But I am really glad. And I'm not named pirate. That's an L.A. shit. That's a serious L.A. homeschooling. And pirate is listening right now.

Yeah, sorry. If you're listening right now, and your name is pirate or sparkle. But Connell and apologies. Don't you, you feel like this.

Because I feel like there's, first of all, I love my name.

And also, I can't imagine any other name. No, for myself. I mean, now I just turned it into, I don't know what I did. Or, you know, sometimes I think that the name

can also help influence you a little bit. And so if it made you feel in any way, or really young, if it made you feel a little unbalanced, or I don't really love this. Maybe that's a good thing to have.

“If you want to be artistic when you're early on.”

So it's possible that these names help us, or we grow into them and they grow into us. And so I wouldn't change anything now. Yeah. But I really did go through a number of years where

I also wanted jet black hair. Like, you know, I wanted jet black hair. And I wanted my name to be like, "Oh, you're going to say I want my name to be jet black."

Yeah, that would have been a good name.

The name's black, jet black. What do you do? I'm a podcast to say. That's not too cool. Yeah, I would have gone with jet black.

I wanted your name to be. I just thought, you know, I used to look at sort of the conventional people that were on television or movies, whether it's, you know, from Elvis movies or

Bob Crane from Hogan's Heroes or like, any of these people that have like just black hair and they've got that conventional, good-looking face.

“And I was like, "That's how I should look."”

Yeah. What is it with this crazy reddish quaff? Why do I have this weird name? Why do I have freckles? I hated having freckles.

You know? Yeah, true. Yeah. I had my two-front teeth were dead because I fell in the driveway and they were dead for what?

Like they died. Like they turned gray. And my, our dentist was like, "Ah, but they were wrong." Right over there. Our teeth show up.

Just leave 'em.

So I went around like, "Hi.

You look real pretty." I had two gray front teeth. We're got freckles. Were you also ridiculously tall then, too? No, no.

No, I got tall super fast. Well, you didn't have that also. [laughter] But wait. Freak it.

But she's really-- But really, I love it now. So what? But you're famous. And it's like kind.

It's like kind. Well, I'm like Frankenstein. Your famous Frankenstein? They're happy.

“But you don't have the missing front teeth”

and the weird, you know, hating of yourself. Why still have that? Okay, fair. Fair. You should hate yourself.

Thanks for admitting that. You have a serious gift which is this height of yours and that you could play a really scary guy. You could play-- you could stand up. Okay.

This is humility. It's fucking guy. Look at this one. Look at this. Look at this.

[laughter] You can't break. This is crazy. [laughter] Wait, so what am I--

It's almost scary. And my Frankenstein, am I? No, you could be Slenderman. [laughter] Don't you think?

I can see it. You know, Slenderman? You come in here, you're like, oh, Conan. It's so talented. A really my humor, my wit.

No. You're pretty. This is-- you could be such an opportunity.

You have such an amazing opportunity.

You could be so scary. Dude, dude, dude. You could-- it's during October this year. You should come here. You should wear something spooky.

And you should scare these people. Okay. Just wanting to do. We're going to contrive away. I will-- I will do it.

And we just have to figure out a way that I creep up on you in the background as Slenderman. Yeah. During a mean, we just have to figure that out. We'll do that.

Really like a skinwalker. I mean, your pants are tight. Okay. Just get some tighter pants. They barely need to be-- very much tighter.

What do you tell them? Hey, kids. Hey, you're-- your pants are so tight. You just tight pants. For-- for-- for--

All right. They're very tight. They're very tight. He wore leggings once. Maybe he goes back to check.

Oh. The Kardashians dared me to wear leggings. Well, didn't they? And I wore leggings. You did wear leggings.

Yeah. That was horrible. There's a reason my children don't talk to me. Okay. So that's great.

Wouldn't you go boost for me? Yes. My career's going places because Billie Eilish says I could be Slenderman.

“Or any freakishly tall monster with such a good monster?”

Or a zombie. Yeah. And just don't moisturize for a day. And I could play the undead. All right.

You heard it here first. Yeah. I'll be showing up at a Halloween theme park near you. Oh, my God. Have you guys been to Halloween horror nights by chance?

Yes. Okay. Yes. I've done Halloween. I've done Halloween.

Why did it traumatize you? Why when I was like, I was younger. Did you go recently? I go every year, girl. You do?

Yeah. Of course I go. Halloween horror nights is no joke. Like Sarah legit makeup. The actors are really into it.

They chase you. Don't like chase you out of a house with a chainsaw. Yeah. It's gotten more. It's gotten more PG.

Oh, that's weird. Yeah. Sorry. It's just not. They don't really chase you like they used to.

They kind of just stand there and go running. You know, and that's it. But anyway, if you've gone recently, they do this thing to kind of make it like a more 40 experience where they, they like pump scent in certain rooms. Sure.

Like really gross scent to make you really overwhelmed with the grossness of the. So like if you walk into one of the, you know, rooms during the maze and it's like kind of sliced up people and whatever. And it'll smell like this like rotting person smell. It's disgusting.

It's amazing. I like. Bye. I'm not even going to. I'm going to say bless her soul and I'm not going to put this woman and shout this woman out.

But I was somewhere doing something and I was with this woman.

And she was leaning over. I was sitting, she was leaning over and she was, you know, doing things. And I was literally like, and I, and it because I'm me and I don't think really before I say things. I almost was like, you know, you smell exactly like that. Oh, you were like a rotting core body.

But so yeah. So like, and I was texting everyone else in the room. Like, doesn't this bitch smell like the rotting corpse scent that they spray? I think we can tell people it's joy be hard from the view. [laughter]

Always smell like rotting meat.

I love her. I love you joy. There's no one funnier. But no one will tell her to were face. Oh, is this true?

No. No. This is how rumors get started. Yeah, but like the first thing I noticed is smell.

“So if you stink once forever, that's how I will think of you.”

I took seven baths before you got here. Oh, do you take baths? You can't fit into a bath. No, I don't. [laughter]

I have terrible. I feel terrible about myself. Now, when did you become a freak? What age did you become a freak? You can't have a bath.

Just the US Army have to make you a bath tub. And bringing in with handcuffers. I'm talking about.

No, I do not take a lot of baths because my knees always stick up.

[laughter] This is what she was afraid of. You're right. I'm insulted and you're right. I'm very short.

And I have an enormous bath. And I can barely fit in the fucking bath. We should trade bath tub. We should trade bath tub. Let's do it.

That's why I will pay. I will pay. [laughter] Because I cannot fit in my bath tub. So you're not here to promote anything.

You're here to find out if my bath tub fits. Because yours does it. And mine does it. And we're going to switch. Okay.

I literally drown in that bitch. [laughter]

“These are the problems that you have to face.”

Do vent your bed? [laughter]

Well, my wife is there too.

Somewhere. It's a pretty good size bed. You want to be like shack beds, right? No, I don't have a shack bed. I'm assuming being.

I don't have a shack bed. We have one of those things you see in the pokanos. It has a giant heart and it rotates. [laughter] Every night I put rose petals on it.

And I go, "Lies in my dear." She's like, "No." So we have a big bed. But yeah, we fit in our beds. And I am allowed to drive a conventional car.

I wish it was a Hyundai, but apparently it's not. Okay. I want to talk about, you said something else. I was reading up on you. I was like, "Okay, I want to have some good topics.

And you were talking about how you really enjoy hanging out. Just hanging out." And I was wondering, "What is a good hang for Billie Eilish? What's a good hang for you? What do you like to do if it's you and your friends and you're just hanging out?"

I love to go on bike rides so much. Just with an electric bike. I'm not doing any kind of working out really with the bikes. Because also I live in a very hilly area. So it's a lot of up and down.

I'm a big believer in e-bikes. I think it's cool. I love an e-bike. And I use this company called Super73, which is these like big bulky. It's amazing.

I love going on bike rides. I love going on a dogwalk. I love swimming in my pool. I love specifically like any kind of activity that like you might find at like a kids summer camp. Like any kind like on tour will be like in the most beautiful place in the world.

And I'm like, can we please go to a water park? Or can we go to a ropes course or a trampoline farm? Or like we did a lot of we did a few like glass blowing classes and pottery making classes. Well that sounds like I love activities. You like activities.

I like an activity. I don't love that much is playing a game. Sometimes because it triggers some part of my brain that gets worried. You know if I'm playing a game that I'll misremember the rules or I'll screw up. I know it's a problem.

I need to get over that. That's a good question. This is interesting. No, I don't know.

“I think I'm just not a games person and people will say to me, hey, what's play this?”

I mean, I do games on my own like puzzles or crossword just things like that. But when it's a group of people and they say, hey, what's breakout this board game and play? I'm kind of a little phobic about it. Yeah.

I don't know what that is. My thing is I get hit. Oh you are. She's crazy. It's friends same, but I like that.

So you. So that's interesting because I love games and I'm ridiculously competitive. But so you, you don't like games because you're really competitive. Because I, I don't know if you just. Like it's too real for you.

Like it's too real about yet gets too real.

And if anybody on my team is just dragging us down.

Right. I just want to that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

“She's one of those people that just in a blink of an eye.”

She's red and descends into madness. Yeah. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You're talking about life.

Yeah. I'm just saying. I was saying you're like a juggle hot hero. I think you're a murderer. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No class over. Yeah. Yeah.

What about sport type game? Because we play a lot of like pickle ball. And I get me. I'm very competitive with with sports activities. Say, no, I'm competitive too.

Are you not competitive? You're not competitive. You're not competitive. You're not competitive. I can't play pickle ball because then he come to tall.

And this fits into your whole idea that I don't fit in this world. But you've got to bend over and break. Take these just for shots. I think I wasn't meant for this planet. I feel like you it would help you because you're so tall.

I mean, literally we were playing yesterday and finniest laughed really hard because I and our friend Lucy are both both very short. We were both just playing one on one. And he cracked up because he was like, you both are so fucking short.

“That you have to step son times to get to each side.”

We have to I have to literally run full speed. He can't short shame you. That's wrong. He sure can. Well, I'm going to talk to him.

Yeah. And maybe I'll only lift the band on finniest coming in here. If he apologized to you. He's banned. He's banned until he apologizes for mocking you.

I know it's side to take care. Okay, so let's talk about the movie because the movie's out now. Thank you. [laughter] Oh yeah.

I have a little note that says when this drops the movie will have been out for a day. Wow. People sure love the movie. But hit me hard and soft. This is.

This movie is stunning to me for a couple of reasons. One, you co-directed this with James Cameron. That's insane. I know. To have him direct it is insane.

Yeah. But then to get to be a co-director with this guy is not such great. It was also his idea to have that be the case, which is insane. Like he. The way he came about is my mother.

Like met him through something else. And then like one day he came over and was like, "Oh, by the way, James Cameron emailed me." And I. But also like, we have a whole team of people whose job it is.

Your mom can get through all this level of people. I mean, it was like, "He emailed you." Yeah. Your mom booked you on this podcast. Your team was like, "Don't you cone in it."

And then your mom's like, "Go over to cone." Now, good. So real. But anyway, she was like, "Yeah, James Cameron emailed me." As saying he wanted to, like asking if you would be interested in him filming your movie

and putting it out as a, or filming your concert and putting it out as a movie in 3D. Like that was the ask. The not even ask, like just like interesting at all, like at all. Yeah. And obviously, I thought that's the most insane, unbelievable thought even at all.

I was like, "What?" Yeah. And then I got on the phone with him and we just like talked about it.

And what was so special to me, I filmed concert films before and they've been amazing.

I've done documentaries. It's all amazing. And honestly, it is a lot of work. And I was not planning on doing that for this tour. Mm-hmm.

And the tour was like coming to an end in a few months.

“And like, I remember feeling like, "Oh, this is sad that I'm not going to have this show."”

But document. Yeah. Like, "Oh, that's kind of sad." But also like, "What am I going to do?" You know, I'm not going to film it.

There's nothing really. I don't have any ideas for something anyway. So it was kind of perfect. Obviously, it's also an insanely incredible thing and opportunity. Yeah.

But I was also like, "Oh, yeah. I want to be able to watch this show forever." This is like my favorite show I've ever done. And I was so proud of it and felt just so good up there. And it was just a really good show.

And I was so excited. So that's like the beginning of it. And then like he wanted to co-direct it with me. We met. He came to my show in Australia. And then, and one of the biggest parts of the process that's been really special to me is I like when I first started talking to him. I said, "Very flat out."

I have no interest in changing the show at all for this. I don't want to modify anything. I don't want to hear any notes.

I love you. You're amazing.

But he had kind of had already made that clear. He felt the exact same way. I really was like surprised by that. He was like, "No, I don't want to change anything." He didn't want the concert to hit an iceberg.

He's just, he's stuck in a rut. And then he wanted to know who people to come in and fight the iceberg. I'm glad you got him off that because he's so stuck. I know.

But here's amazing thing. He always loves to.

And he did this with Amy with Titanic. He did it with Avatar films. He always likes to bring this new technology to it.

“And I'm imagining that I think that's part of what he's doing here is I would think he would say like, "Wait, I've got no true."”

I've got a camera that I can use. It's never been used because I know it's in 3D, but I'm guessing it's not in the 3D that I grew up with. Probably not. I mean, thank God.

It's like, it's pretty insane to see. And I do remember throughout filming it. He would be like, "This technology's never been used before." We were using things that literally, who was the first time they were used, which was such an insane idea.

And to have James Cameron be the one doing that. And also, it was very, very surreal because we were on tour. And that's a very normal thing we're all used to being on at this point in the tour. And he's like, "I want to film some of your warm-up." I'm like, "Okay."

And so I'm like, "Doing the thing I always do.

I'm in my room with my like, I'm wearing like boxers and a t-shirt doing my warm-up and getting my ankles taped for the show. And James Cameron himself alone with a enormous 3D camera. Literally like this. He's walking in himself.

And he sits like, "Right here. And he's asking me the questions. And he's the one standing there." And then there's like four dudes that walk in that are like holding the boom and the lighting. And I just like, it was the most trippy shit in the world.

It was just like, just literally looking at it. Like wherever he goes. Yeah. He's like, "Hey, James, you didn't come to our barbecue and then he shows up." And he's got a nine-dimensional camera.

I was like, "Exactly what you didn't imagine him looking like. Just standing there with a camera on him." There's this moment in, and it's, I've had staff members here who are huge fans who, because I know it's in the movie, but they've also seen it. They've seen it on the tour, and they talked about it.

And I was really intrigued by this because you have this moment where you get, I mean, these are huge shows. You get everyone to be absolutely silent. And that's very riveting. To me that, first of all, to have fans that will do that is,

it shows a real, there's a mutual respect.

“And I think, for you to be in an arena that's filled with that many people”

and ask everyone to get absolutely quiet, and then you create this musical moment with them not saying a word is stunning. And what I love about it is, yes, there's going to be this great technology

and there's going to be all these amazing angles.

But people also, I think, get to see up close what it is you do that is different. I think that's pretty amazing. Thanks, Conan. That's so well said and nice of you to say. But that moment, when did you start to realize, okay, I'm going to go for this? Well, like you said, when we had that idea in the rehearsal period of the tour,

I really was like, I do not think this is going to work. How am I going to get the entire room to be silent? You know, it's not like, you know, somewhat quiet. It has to be like nothing at all because what's happening is in my mic, I am singing one part and then it's looping and I'm singing another part and that's looping

and I'm singing another part and then that's looping. You're building it in real time. Really building it in real time by recording. And so, and also like because I sing not like very loud, the mic is like pretty hot. And so it really picks up a lot and there was, there was one time I don't know where we were.

It was honestly one of like five times in the entire hundred and six show tour of hit me heart and soft that they weren't quiet.

“And the only thing that happened was everyone was quiet except this voice.”

Billy, give me a blow down. Oh no. Oops, see. That sucks. Now I thought it was funny.

No, it is, but it's also just. It's totally shit. But also I'm thinking. And that was in the loop and so every, I'm like,

Oh no.

I didn't really think that picked up by the recording.

It just was repeating over and over. Well, it was a number one hit. And now the guy's like, where's my money? What a side friend. I'm blown up.

I'm blown up. Oh god. That was literally the only time that really ever happened because their fans are so, and that was just like some guy. But also you know that the people around him were like,

Oh, he got completely. I mean, it, he got shamed by the entire audience.

“And I think like, this is something about my crowd and my fans that I look at.”

Fans that I love so much, which is like their complete devotion and also like, their willingness to fight for what they believe in and what they love. And me and, you know, really defend me. And like the fact that they are all. Respectful enough to be completely silent for an entire minute.

While I'm singing and not make any noise. Not sing along. Not say anything. Not want the attention. Like it's really, really beautiful.

Like I was so sure it wasn't going to work out.

I've never tried anything like that.

This scary. It's so scary. And at the first show we did, we were in Quebec. It was the first show the entire tour and they were completely silent. And then I was like, OK, well, that's the only time that's going to work.

And then it fucking worked every single time except that one time. And a couple times where they were just rowdy and screaming. But pretty much for the most part. And also like the fact that I was asking them to do that is insane. It's an insane request.

“And I was, well, I think, I think you have this thing.”

[LAUGHTER] Turns out he's like a neurologist. [LAUGHTER] 44 neurologists. Oh, yeah.

I've actually led the field in cerebral cortex therapy. He hasn't known how. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, God. But I think that-- No, not for God. Oh, not for God. Not for God.

We're going to find him. He's also banned. He's banned. And then he's just banned. He's the only two.

The only two. Yeah.

“I think it's a tribute to you that your fans--”

You know, that guy excluded your fans. No you. Mm-hmm. They know you. And they're not knowing this idea of who you are.

That's who you are. I mean, that's what I've-- The two times you've been here, and we're hanging out. Yeah. And I'm refusing to play a game.

[LAUGHTER] When you're here, I can see that, oh, that's Billy. That's just who you are. And your fans know that. There are a lot of people in your business who are just show business in general who--

And I see it a lot in comedy. There's people love the idea of them that they've constructed. But that's not really who they are. Yeah. And so I think that's a credit to you that, yes, it can work.

There's a lot of people who wouldn't work for because their fans don't have that relationship. So I think it's really amazing. I think it's cool. And also, the whole concept of so much of show business, especially in comedy and in music, is make noise. And keep the noise going.

And people are afraid of, I got to keep the energy up. We got to keep it going. And that's so much of it that for someone to come out and say, OK, everyone be absolutely silent. I'm going to try something is very unusual. I know.

And they really play along, which I find so beautiful and also really surprising. And they're like that throughout the show, too. Like they're so so willing and up for anything that I want them to do. And it's just amazing. They are so wonderful.

And I do think like, you know, what you just said about me being me. And that's who they know. It's like, it's true. I think like, I kind of attribute that to starting out at as as 13, you know.

And being the person I was already, which is like always very honest and bold and like says anything.

Kind of, I was already like that. So I didn't think anything. I didn't think to do anything else. And I was so young. I was just like saying anything all the time.

And being myself, like I didn't know who else to be. Yeah. And like I even when I kind of like sometimes wish that I maybe hadn't shared so much of who I am. I am really glad that I did and also. And that I do because one of my main goals and I talk about this in the film a little bit.

But like I can't stress it enough that like one of my main goals. As starting out was that I wanted to be the artist that I that I would want to be a fan of. And that's because I am a fan. I am a huge fan. And I always have been and I've always been a super fan.

Not just like, oh, I like artists and I like the whatever. It was like posters and merch.

And I couldn't because, you know, I couldn't afford it.

But it was like merch concerts or. Merch. Merch. [laughter] I couldn't go.

I couldn't. No, but now you're banned. Yeah. I can't. I can't remember.

And now that you. You're out. What the hell I was saying? Um, but I was going to say that I like. If there's one piece of advice that I can give like younger artists or new artists.

And the thing that I have given to people like. If anyone's starting out asks me, which has only happened a few times like what I would say.

“My one piece of advice actually too is like play smaller venues than you think you should.”

Right. Or then people are telling you too. And get a serious, serious connection to your fans. And be your fans. Family.

Like that is the number one thing in my career that I will always.

Keep number one in the priority list. And like, it's all that. That's all that started. And because it was me, I was like saw myself in these kids and. I wanted to do everything that I, when I was 12, used to think like, oh my God, I can't.

My favorite artists do this and why.

“Why can't they make it easier for us to see this, you know, and so I've really strived to be that for them.”

And like be reachable and feel like they feel like we are. One and like they don't feel separated from me and like I don't want to be. Known by them or know them, you know, like I want them to feel like we are friends. And that if I'm out in the world, you know, and like be respectful. Of course, but but but like when I'm out in the world and I make eye contact with someone.

Like this has happened before. And they just like smile at me and I smile at them and they run up to me and we hug. Like that has happened before because it's just the connection is just there. We don't have to say anything. We just like and and you don't have to be afraid of me, you know.

That, you know, there's a there's a part of the movie where you're talking about because you're very tactile. You're you go out, you you're touching a lot of the fans and you get scratches on your hands from your fans just because they're so excited to lay hands on you and you're willing to do that. And I'm thinking it's it's not great that you're getting scratched up, but at the same time you're letting them know it's real. Right. Like this isn't an act. I'm not a hologram image that's been projected.

I really this is who I am. This is what I care about you guys are part of my crew and we're in on this together.

Yeah, which is I mean, I've always felt that's the way it has to be even though I work in a completely different world.

I think I look for any opportunity to let people out in the world know that like it or not for good or ill, this is who I am. Yeah.

“And such a great quality. But I mean, that's I think really, really key. I don't know, you know, there might come a day where you're like enough with the scratching of the hands, you know, but yes.”

It's it can be a lot. I mean, also because it's like the trajectory of things has gotten so much better over the years that at this point it's not only fans in the crowd. Sometimes like it's sometimes it's a little bit like it can be a little bit dangerous. But the thing is, like, I don't want to be out of reach, like physically and, you know, mentally. Like I want, I want them to feel like I am right there with them. And so it's like it's it's a hard balance because for a long time it was pretty easy to do that. Like I when I was first doing shows every single show no matter what.

I would get offstage walk straight into the audience and meet every single person in the room and like take pictures with everyone, talk to everyone and sign anything like I never it would take hours and hours and it would be like hundreds of people and it was like not paid. It was nothing. I just wanted to meet everyone. Well, it's also it's staying true that that's a real connection. It doesn't have to be recorded. No one has to see it. You know it's real. They know it's real and that's responsible for so much. That's a big part of everything that's happened for you.

I know. I mean, I'd hard to explain that to people that that used to get when you first started working with me, you would get upset that I would hang out in the crowd so long after words were was it safe. When they get crazy, I mean, I'm sure there's been some situations for you where it's been hairy. It's the same for you. It's it's can get scary for the people around you who who love you, who care about you, who want you to be safe, can get. Oh, I'm nuts. And I'm acknowledging right now whatever I've gone through Billy has that times a million because it's a very different connection. I mean, people it's so what I've experienced is people get really excited.

But you have to walk that line now where you can't walk into the arena and sing and hang with all of you for 15 days. Yeah, and so yeah, it's been hard to figure out how to have the connection with them, but not completely. It's fun because in the movie, there's a part where you're like literally seeing your fans that are camped out on your behind a window and you're banging on the glass. I can relate to your excited to bond with them. So you're trying to, you're trying to let them and they're so excited that you're banging on a window and they can see you and you can see them.

It's just nice. I mean, people always try and pretend that this is more complicated than it is. It's really simple.

The reason you started doing this is you wanted, you had something that you wanted to share with people and you wanted that connection and it's real. And now you can change the scale of it. You can have James Cameron. You can have futuristic cameras. You can have 15 million people coming to a concert and 8 billion downloads. It's still the same thing. The scale changed, but it's the same thing.

“And it's also, like, with that exact idea, it's like, you can have boundaries also. If you don't have to, I think I used to give my soul much of myself to that.”

That, like, I kind of hit a wall where I felt like I lost part of myself a little bit because I've given so much of it to them. And as much as I loved doing it, I was like, whoa, this is, like, really affecting me. And yeah, it's, and also, like, again, when it got to a larger scale, it got a little less human somehow. Like, people started treating me less like a human, which I get. It's like seeing big, big, big bird, big bird.

Oh, but seeing one of my first key trail at Big Bear. Listen, no food in my body. Just one coffee, and that's all right. Don't worry about that.

Anyway, hey, but this is real man, this is you.

“But I mean, that's, yeah, that's, that's, that's one of the things too that I see it in comedy. People get obsessed with, I played in arena and I think,”

I don't know, that doesn't look fun. Like, I like it. There's a certain magical size where, and I think it's, it's obviously very different in music. You can, you, music is quite different. I think sometimes comedians get confused a little bit because they think I want to be a rock star comedian. And obviously some of them can do it brilliantly. I think Kevin Hart can do it brilliantly and Eddie Murphy. There's different people that can go into an arena and they're fantastic. And then I always think, for a lot of us, there's just the right size, you know, which can be, you know, OK, 1500 people or something like that. But once it starts to get to be more than that, I don't know that.

It's hard to feel close. Yeah, it's hard to feel close. And I do think music is better on a larger scale than than just saying shit, you know.

I think so. Yeah, I get what you mean though, because I had the same kind of feeling for many years. I was like, I don't want to play arenas because then I'm going to be far away from everyone and not feel like it's intimate at all. I feel like for comedy, it's like different because you're standing there talking to them. So it's like really a harder thing on a larger scale. You start to lose like this, if it gets really big and I'm not one of those kinds of comedians, but I think that you might at some point lose that that spark of immediacy.

Right. If the scale gets too big. And again, there are special people that can really do it beautifully. And I think I'm always craving, you know, sometimes when I see that the venue is really big. I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to have that same conversational thing going. But again, it's very different music. And I think all comics wish they were rock stars. They just do and me included. We all wish.

“We all wish. We all look at music and we all kind of try and pretend that that's what we are and we're not.”

And then occasionally I'll meet these like iconic musicians who are like, well, I really wish I could be to have it talk show. You want to wrap it up with Al Roker and go to a commercial? No, it really do. But well, I'm really excited for you. Hit me hard and soft. And this is co-directed with you James Cameron. That's insane. Just madness because I have offered him a co-directing thing with me many times. He's so far no call back. So maybe he's ban too from the pod.

But I feel a real connection to you as a person. I really proud of you.

It's this weird thing to say, but I feel like, oh, I'm like, you're probably your dad's age or something. But I have this pride and like, well, Billy is doing a good job.

“Well, who am I to take any other than I wrote that big song for you?”

Great. He's a feather. I did it very much. Most taster catalogs usually were things like, well, I'm just saying. And we're going to settle this out of court. I love the judge asking for any proof. Yeah. And I'm just like, I'm pretty sure. She said, and then he said, you're just doing good.

No, I'm very, I'm very happy for you. I'm very proud of you. You're welcome here any time. Finish as welcome here any time. Come on in. Give my best to your folks. And I just, um, your huge deal. And so you coming in and just sharing your talent and your wit and just your spirit with us is a really cool thing. Thank you so much. I love coming here so much. I will literally come back as many times as you want.

Okay. Well, we have a, we have a Hyundai and a bidets sponsorship now. Who's billionish for their lucks per day? Hi, guys. But you've had a huge meal. But I, thank you for saying all of that. It's unnecessary. And I, it means so much. I mean, you guys are all awesome. I love the vibe in here.

I was just saying the other day that I just, I lived to laugh.

And I love when I meet people that live to laugh, you know, just amazing.

“I hate people that don't laugh. Just so fucking. Can you imagine?”

I hate when people don't laugh because it means I don't get paid. Don't get paid. That's it. No, that's, that is my language. Like when people don't laugh, I'm like, oh, I guess I don't have a reason to live anymore. But it's so wonderful that all these people are just, we're all just laughing at anything.

It's just amazing. It's good. It's good. It's just what life is about.

But thank you for having me. And I'm, I'm, yeah, it was a big, we really, it was a big, it was really big of us to have you.

I was going to say it. And you probably didn't see that. No, it was. I'm going to compliment Billy.

“I don't know. I did say it. She's still in the business.”

I mean, how's it going for her? If you were like, what are you talking about? I don't know. I pretty much know what's going on with young people. I don't think she's doing so good.

I'm an idiot. But thank you for being here and say it to your gang for me. I will. We all love you so much. And I feel the same. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien,

Sonom of Sessian, and Macquarlie. Produced by me, Macquarlie. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina.

Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

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