Gillian Anderson

I sometimes go into this thinking I want an honest answer, and now I don't want an honest answer. Books and guns, I can tell that we are going to be friends. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey, they're welcome to Corner to Brian Needs, a friend. Some of ses him, Berners, to see you.

Nice to see you, too.

As always, Matt Gorley, pleasure to see you.

And you, sir. Have you noticed anything different about me these days? I'm driving a different car. All right, I'm not going to name Brian's or anything, but I had a little difficulty with my car, and I've been leasing it for a while, and I just kept having to go into the shop. So I finally parted company with that car.

Don't have a car, so my kids are out of town. They share a Subaru forster. Oh, it's maybe about seven years old. It's covered in dirt, and I'm chewing around in this car, which is a very fine car, by the way, and by the way, not getting a dime from Subaru.

I'm just saying it's a fine machine, but it's really funny because it's just a filthy car for some reason. I don't think my kids take it to wash it much.

“I don't know if that's what young people do is wash a car.”

I can't remember the last time I washed it as well. And old people do it. Yeah, and also I don't wash it either. It's not also it's not my car, and I'm not, I'm not yet to take it to the car. Wash I'm chewing around in this thing.

And sometimes I got the window down, I'm bump into the tune. Some of them will pull up to a stop, and they'll see me, and I'll give them the nod. But I know they're looking at me. Yeah, yeah. Like, why does any clean is car? Do you think though that they ever think that can't be Conan?

It's just a Subaru. They expect you to be an ad. Well, first of all, it's a good for Subaru, because I think it's a fine car. I like it, not getting a dime. But no, today I saw a guy looking at me at a stop sign, and he kept thinking,

I think that's Conan, but he looks like he's delivering pizzas. Yeah.

I've always heard Christian bail drives, like a really shitty early 90s coup,

because he thinks no one recognizes him if they see him in it. Yeah, but Danny is that bumper sticker that says, I am Christian bail. Oh, yeah. That always fucks it up. I'm Batman.

Yeah. That's cool. I should just get a ton of bumper stickers. It's say things like, I am Conan O'Brien. Yep, Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

Yes, it's me. I'm Batman. I'm Batman. Well, I'm Batman, and also house up. That implies like you knew it was going to happen.

“That's how I always, you know, that they always talk about the Batman story.”

Bruce Wayne is in an alley, and he's with his his parents getting, but I think I like the idea more that he watched. I mean, he'd be heard his parents were in trouble. He went, pulled up, and he went and he got popcorn, and he just, yeah, he sat on a trash can on that alley in Gotham.

He's like, "This will be true seed. This will be formative." Yeah. We don't want, he really wanted to turn into an amazing superhero. And he knew the best way was to watch his parents get shot in alley.

So he kept contriving situations, like, "Hey, what do you think's down that alley, mom of the bed?" I don't know, Bruce. Let's not worry about him. I don't know.

It looks pretty good. He tried that for at least two years. And then finally, he just took his mom's pearl necklace and just threw it down the alley and she was like, "Bruce, you're an asshole. Help me.

Help me. Bruce senior. I don't know the dad's name. Do you? Thomas?"

I looked right at play. Wait, you know what? Thomas? Guess what? There's just a nerd sting operator.

Oh. Must have. Take 'em away, boy. So glad I passed. You know what?

I did this whole thing.

“What's to get to this and then say, "I wonder what that," and also bladed that thing.”

I love he grabs the mic and he yanks it almost out of its holder, up to his mouth and he went, "Thomas." And did you notice there was a split second before he answered, but that wasn't because he didn't know it was him going, "Should I do this?" Right now.

That is actually correct. That's 100% right. And what was his mom's name? Martha. Nope.

E-nid. No, it's Martha. I'm just making it. I thought, for a second, his name was Wayne Wayne. There's an alternate.

There's an alternate. Wayne Wayne would have been cool. Wayne Wayne Wayne.

Wayne Wayne promised never to get shot in an alley.

There's an alternate. Oh, and his wife's name was Lil. Yeah. Wayne Wayne Wayne and Lil Wayne went down the alley. I hated her.

I hated her. I hated her. Yeah.

There's alternate reality. But you're still telling. Yeah. Version Batman where Bruce and Martha get killed in Thomas. The father becomes Batman.

Oh, yeah. I know that, Batman. He has a lot of trouble getting around. He's like 58. He's like, "Oh, get you, Joker."

I've got to soak this hip first. Yeah, it doesn't really make sense. It was a big reveal. I was just excited about it. I'm excited about what.

The fact that there's an alternate reality where the dad is Batman.

That's always an alternate reality.

But let's talk about this before. I don't like portals in Marvel movies. And I don't like alternate realities. Did you? I don't stick to one reality and write a good story.

Hey, it worked for a Hemingway. But no alternate realities.

“You know, what if Bruce Wayne was allergic to corn?”

There's an alternate reality. What's your? What's your ultimate? I was just gonna say. You know, this happened last night.

Because by now, the summer spouses thing has come out. And we were out in the lobby watching our three spouses do a podcast without us. And it felt like an alternate time. It did feel that way. Yeah.

It did feel that way. Watching Tak Amanda lies a dual podcast. And they were sitting in our exact places. It did look like this was some weird fold in time or ripple. They had the podcasts.

And we were disgruntled. Oh, wait. Wait. What? Oh, let's get to that.

What do you mean so? Hmm. Okay. You didn't like lies of being in your seat. You got angry.

You got angry. You're not in the alternate reality. Yes. Because in real life, I know Amanda is very unhappy with you. And we all know lies is every day is like why did I make this deal with the devil?

Yeah. Um, I think they all three took this thing as a launching pad to get out. Yes. One more there. Yeah.

Lysam is understood when she showed up for this thing. She had packed a bag. She seemed disappointed when we were going home together. And I got there before she could get upstairs. I found a note.

Oh. If you're reading this, it means I've launched my own. I have joined Tacken Amanda and we've escaped our dreadful lives. I was like, hey, what's this? And she went, oh, don't mind that.

It's a creative writing assignment. But then they noticed out of rag. She had made a rope that went out the window. It just doesn't even make sense. She came to the podcast with me.

Anyway, maybe took that too far. Back out of the front door. I think, what's that? Our front door doesn't work. Oh, it doesn't work.

Yeah. Any other door?

“Fire department keeps saying you need to change that.”

How do you get in and out? I would go through the chimney. To me, every day is Christmas. Oh, God. Imagine if Santa Claus was counted.

Oh, yeah. You imagine a lean sarcastic Santa Claus. Every child would be given a stamp that just says invoice or something. The only way they get presents is if you wake them up and they laugh. Something he does.

Yeah. That's the nice list. Yeah. Yeah. It's me as Santa flying around looking at a list of kids that find me amusing.

I'd have had a six billion kids on earth.

There's three kids on the list. It's just a lottery. Yeah. It's just three kids on the list. Yeah.

You get stuck in one ear. And then you just have to be kids that know that's the rules. You know, like. Wow. Great anecdote about the 90s.

Yeah. I'm going to say we should examine this opening because it might be one of the Demer ones. It's pretty dumb. Yeah.

Pretty bad. But you got to learn the Wayne parents names. Yeah. That's cool. That's cool.

Wayne Wayne and Lil Wayne. Yeah. All right. My guest today is an Emmy award winning actress. She's probably out the door now.

I would be. She started as agent Dana Scully and the ex files of course. Now you can see her in the new movie Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Myasma. They stole my title. She's so talented as credible and thrilled.

This is her first time on the podcast.

I can't wait to chat with her today. [music] Jillian Anderson, welcome. I'm thrilled you're here and I realized this morning.

“I think the last time we chatted was 1995.”

And you came on late night show. Hmm? I was a baby. You were a baby. You were grown up to me.

I probably was. And but I look at it now. Yeah. You are a baby when you come walking out. I look like a slightly older baby.

And I definitely look like someone who should not be having a talk show.

I'm glad that we can reunite now when I'm a little more seasoned.

Yes.

“And then old enough to know what non-plused main is.”

[laughter] There is so much to talk about. You have a new movie with one of my favorite people. I'm binder and I was going to start with this fact about you that I didn't know, which is that in your class you were voted girl most likely to get arrested.

Correct. [laughter] And then you made good on that. You got arrested. I did.

For breaking into your own high school? Yeah. Well, we were trying to glue the locks shut so that people couldn't go in the next day. [laughter] Or get out if there's a fire.

It works both ways. Yes, but there weren't any people in the building at the time.

It was the middle of the night.

That was an aggressive prank. Yeah. That was kind of me at that time. Yeah. You had your hair was shaved on the sides.

Yeah.

“You went through like, is it a punk phase?”

What would you describe? Yeah, it was a punk phase. But I had very pointy bucket boots on. And they had a very thin soul. But when the security guard was chasing me through downtown Grand Rapids,

I stepped on a nail. Oh. And that's what slowed me down. [laughter] So we're not for the nail.

We're not for the nail. I would have outsmarted him. And it would have not have been arrested. But because I'd been-- I was just saying I was doing a little crystal meth at the time.

And I was in a really good mood. And I managed to talk them out of breaking and entering and just into trespassing. Oh. But my boyfriend who was with me at the time,

who was considerably older than I was, went back to his apartment and smoked some more dope and just kept drinking the night away while I was in prison. Oh.

With a nail through your foot back down on crystal meth. Yeah. But anyway. [laughter] Hey, tell her your crystal meth story.

Okay. So about four hours ago. I find-- looks like just a little dust today. I'm like, I'm going to put that in my nose. And then I found a gun.

It just goes on and on and on. Your sort of bifurcated past of being-- I think born in London, but then moving to-- No.

Born-- born in the States. Born in States, but then you move to London. Yeah, grew up in London until 11. But then you move back. And then I move back, post expiles.

I move back to London. So I've been there for 24 years. But I have this theory that just bear with me. Yeah. You're so funny.

You're so funny. No, but sometimes I find that really creative people go through this period in their youth when they kind of don't know who they are. And that might be fuel.

If you're in grand rapids, but you have a British accent, and you don't quite know how you fit in, that maybe that's fuel. Oh, 100%.

I mean, I think when I first got there,

I did have a British accent. I worked very hard to erase it. But it would pop up in restaurants when I'd be ordering-- or trying to show off or something like that. It would pop up. But you know, because it was my first language,

my first dialect. So to speak the first time I spoke it was with a British accent. It was so ingrained in my system that it's near impossible for me to be around Brits without falling into it. It feels more as intrinsically part of me as my American accent.

“And did it thing with Hugh Lury once on the set of house?”

And he was playing Dr. House in this little thing we did for the Emmys, I think. And someone on the crew was British and said something to him. And he was like, oh my God, please don't-- Yeah.

If he heard the British accent, he would fall back into it. Yeah. It was quite disconcerting. But I could see that he just couldn't have it around. Yeah.

Sometimes if I'm doing interviews, I know we're going to go out in the States, but the interviewer is British. I have to really focus. Like really, like almost split my brain to keep it American.

I was thinking it was funny if I think of-- even think of someone from the UK trying to lose their accent because I love that accent so much too. Do you know, I come from Boston, Massachusetts, and that's an accent you want to lose.

And I don't care. Who from Boston hears that that had to go. And if I, or from Cranston, Rhode Island, that accent has to go. But whenever I hear someone with a British accent, I just think it's fantastic.

I think it was an attempt initially.

Maybe to feel like I fit in. And then also because, you know, when I was growing up in the UK, and I spoke like a bread. My parents were referred to as the ang. So I was teased because my parents were ang.

And so, and then when we visited America, it was so sunny and sugary. And it represented lightness and joy and possibility as opposed to London at the time in the '70s, which was, you know, mashed potatoes and curry.

[LAUGHTER]

“And you said mashed potatoes, like what's wrong with that?”

[LAUGHTER] Yeah, yeah. Well, also the '70s is in Britain, in England, famously, kind of depressed. Very, very depressed. Yeah.

And so I think I, you know, I was almost forcing myself to switch. I was also very surprised at just how young you were when you started X-Files. You're 24. And you lied to the producers and said you were 27. I'm not sure what difference.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is it three? Yeah. [LAUGHTER]

I'm really glad I changed it. I'm worried. Could you check that on the internet place? That is so young to get. Yeah.

I mean, I was playing somebody who had degrees already, and had, you know, was already in the FBI and had gone through medical school. So, you know, I should have been not 24. For some to be real.

Sometimes when people have that, success and their young, they don't enjoy it. Did you enjoy that fame? You know, that you didn't enjoy it. Yeah.

Yeah.

“I mean, I think we were very lucky that we were shooting up in Vancouver”

for the first five years, because, you know, when we were, and LA, you know, we had the experience, a lot of celebrities did at that time, which is followed everywhere, and chased down the street and photographed with kids in playgrounds, and all that kind of stuff, which I found disturbing.

And it really angered me. I pointed my car up many paparazzi over the years. Yeah. And so being up there and not having that, it just didn't exist up in Vancouver was very freeing.

And also, I just felt like it was separate from the business. Yeah. And I think that kept us a little sayner than we might have gone. Plus, the schedule on a show like that, and ex-files in particular, was grueling.

Yeah. And sometimes that's the savior.

Like I always found a lot of times the work,

if I have to do well, intense amount of work, it saves me at the same time, because I have to be locked in.

“If you're in Vancouver, and you have to be on set at,”

I don't know, five, six in the morning, and the productions go on and on. It's one hour for nine years. Yeah. I'm not asking you.

I'm telling you. We are, you know, as you know, you start at 5 a.m. But by the time you get to Friday, your call time is 1 p.m. because you have 12 hour or 11 hour turnaround.

And so we chewed until the middle of Saturday. And they were 16, 17 hour days, and we shot seven pages a day. You know, it's mostly the two of us pretending to be the smartest people on planet earth.

Yeah. That is dead dialogue. Yeah. I mean, the speeches are fantastic, but they are so, it's interlocking pros.

You mean, you guys were so good, but you could just toss it off,

but I know that that was in took an incredible amount of work to get there.

Yeah, it did. Chris told me, I mean, that there was a particular way that we used to speak in the show that it wasn't a normal rhythm and syntax. It was slightly backwards,

which felt like it was almost part of the cryptic aspect of the series. And it wasn't until we were working on this, I think the second feature. And I was sitting in a parked vehicle, waiting to shoot and our showrunner and creator,

Chris Carter came up to me who was directing the feature. And he said, he looked at my sides where my lines were. And he said, "Look, no widows." And I said, "What are you talking about?"

And he said, "No widows on the, you know, your little paragraphs that each character has. The word went all the way to the end with the period. So there wasn't any, you didn't like end halfway through that line.

So there was a perfect rectangle. So the dialogue was designed. Visually.

Wow. So you're struggling. Wow.

You're struggling with his OCD.

Yeah. That's incredible. You're fucking kidding me.

“Just so it looks a certain way on the page.”

Amazing. He's frustrated. I know. I love him. And I appreciate him.

And I don't mean to call him out.

Because it's just, it's such a fantastic.

“It's like, it says some, I mean, it's like,”

was that his term widow? So I don't know. Yeah, the word broken in half. I guess it's, yeah, it's lost.

It's other half. Yeah. So yeah, I guess.

Or even the line is broken in half.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And I'm going to start. start structuring the podcast that was just the margins. No? Yes. You know, I love if we go down this rabbit hole for the entire chat, Gillian, we never get out of it. Her publics just crashes through the door. You know, you know, anytime I'm margin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What if you switch the font? Thanks, son. Yeah.

“Show had an incredible impact. And famously, there's this, you know, termed the Scully effect where a lot of young women were watching. And they, it was unusual at that time, sadly.”

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To see a really smart empowered independent woman on television who was incredibly well educated and confident. And an equal to her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so in principle. Yeah. Not a bobble, not a, you know, and this was a lot of women have said they saw that showing it made them want to go into STEM, made them want to maybe try to be in the FBI, try to, which is remarkable. Yeah. Yeah. I still have people coming up to me and telling me that they are in, you know, a physicist because of Scully or a police officer or a, you know, name the fill in the blank. Yeah.

That's all, I mean, that's so, I don't know, it's a nice, it's a nice gift. I mean, it's, it's been written into textbooks and stuff and still, you know, not only does it still exist in a way, even though, you know, it isn't that a weekly TV show, but there's a lot of people who's lives. There's show really affected whether they watched it with their parent who's no longer alive or they watched it during a difficult period of time for them or they're, I know I stop people that come up to me and say they watch it every day.

And it feels like a right of passage for them to pass it on to, to their kids and so there are all new generations that are discovering it. It's just pretty awesome. Yeah, you can, you make friends with all these people you haven't met and we're in a, in a way, you have this very powerful connection, which is nice and it's enduring. I applaud you and I also applaud myself. Why you? I just thought it for symmetry. No, you know, looking at how you look on the page. I want to have make sure that this is the time we can have a widow.

You, uh, one of you have so many great performances, but I love to show the crown and you played Margaret Thatcher on the crown and you were stunning absolutely stunning Margaret Thatcher fascinates me I know that she's very controversial to say the least in England, but you made me sympathize with her. I was really blown away, there's a, there's a part in your performance where Fatcher realizes she's losing power. Your depiction of her, this, this, I mean, famously, this woman of steel, the Iron Lady, it was just, it was fantastic. And I'm wondering how do you approach, okay, you're going to play someone, everybody knows this person, thousands of hours of footage ever, but you made her your own.

I don't even understand how that, I know it's called acting, but I, I don't know how you take on a project like that. So I, I knew I was going to be doing it for some time, so I had a good run up to it, and although the scripts weren't written yet, as you say, there's, there's a ton of material out there. She's written a couple of autobiographies, and so I started listening to one of them on repite in, in my car when I was driving and I did a lot of driving at the time with kids and stuff. And so that was one way in, there was also a series of BBC six part series that happened to exactly during that time while I was doing preparation, which was also the most personal take on her, the most insight into the behind the scenes of her life during those years.

And you know, when she's showing people around number 10 or she's, you know, got her a pronoun because she's in the kitchen, and she's making coffee for her ministers or whatever it is, she's still on camera. So that's a public version of herself.

“I believe the every woman, you know, and, but these moments before she would do an interview, she didn't know the camera was rolling, and she was going through her lines in her head, or one of them was practicing a speech.”

She was, you know, working on the lines in her head, she was bending down to her purse, to take a sweet out and put it in her mouth.

I mean, these are like gold, right? Don't get to see that stuff. And so the mixture of the little tidbits of pseudo behind the scenes that you got to see in this dark, and also these moments of vulnerability were really, really helpful. And, you know, one just starts it was important to maintain, for instance, a little bit of my own voice within her voice to not push too hard into her, I really didn't want it to feel like it was pantomime. And there was enough with the costumes and with the wig and her particular walk and all that that you could, they would be quite easy to kind of slip into that.

So somebody says something that was really valuable, which is you get quite a lot for free when you cast me as Margaret Thatcher. So I don't have to work for those things that I know, you know, just in terms of my seriousness or my ability to look like I might be intelligent, even if I might be thinking about my socks or, you know what I mean? Just have a resting intelligent face, even if I'm the least smart person in the world, right? So resting intelligent face, I love that. I'm going to try and, I don't know, it's not working, I'm looking even dumb or somehow.

And so that was really helpful because it felt like I could let go of trying to fill in those blanks and just work on anyway.

“So, but you know, with that, as for anything you try, you prepare, you do your best, you show up and then you just, I mean, I really felt like I was crossing my fingers before it came out because I didn't know.”

I didn't know if it would work, I didn't know if I'd be ridiculed, I didn't know if people who really knew are would say, "Oh, I want to joke." I mean, why are they cast her in the first place? You know, I mean, you don't know.

And so, it was, um, it was nice to get.

Yeah, it was absolutely spectacular. And I know, stage is a big part of your life. You did this production of a street car. Oh, I knew it. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I was going to say. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was a different production. Oklahoma, you were fantastic.

You were just perfect.

“No, your street car is just kind of famously amazing.”

I know that you've talked about the anxiety, you have when I see when I go to the theater, even though I'm,

normally, in show business, I am terrified for actors going up on their lines. Yeah. It can be hard for me to relax. And, you know, obviously if it's someone like John Lithgow in, in giant, I, I know. Okay, I'm, John's, John's got this. You don't have to worry.

But I can't imagine they're more terrifying than being in front of an audience and going up on your lines. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you so much. I'm about to do a play.

I start rehearsing next Monday. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You know, I was really nice having you.

So, let's see. It'll be 32 years until I see you. We're like comets that pass each other. But not in a good way. But you're so, but you're, I don't know.

It, it's stunned me a little bit that that would be a concern of yours when you're so good. It's always a concern. And also just brain stuff, you know, as we get older. I talked about this all the time. He was just talking about this before you came in.

Yeah. I came in this morning and I put, I mean, I realized on the drive to work that my wedding

Your wedding finger. Oh, I'm telling you.

“I'm telling you there's a whole thing you can vent.”

Yeah.

I mean, that's a very primal thing to do to put to switch the rings on the different hands.

I don't know. It's just brings. I also had a lot to drink this morning. That's, that's more. But I just know the brain stuff.

I can't necessarily rely on it. Or I don't feel like I can. And I know other actors who, Olivia Coleman famously will memorize on the way to work in the car in paragraphs and be ready and word perfect. I would literally give my lower half of my body for that.

For that. So specific. How do you walk around on Steve? Yeah. That would be a problem.

It only plays. She only plays Franklin Roosevelt. She's playing Roosevelt again. Yeah. So, you know.

I'll do my best. Well, I'm sorry.

I wish I could encourage you.

But there's nothing to indicate that this, you're going to make it in the theatre. There's just nothing. You're in terrible trouble. Yeah. I mean, if only he had done some past work that would recommend.

Let's talk about teenage sex and death. It can't my asthma. I knew nothing about the film. I got to watch it last night. I love going in knowing nothing.

And whenever even someone tries to tell me, sometimes in the notes, they'll say, you know, this is about and I intentionally don't look. But it has a fantasy element to it. It's the visuals. It feels.

It's a heightened reality. Yeah. It's really great. It's you hand-on binder. I adore her.

And so when I found out both of you were in this, I was like, I am down. I'm going to like this. And I really did. It's unusual. It's, I haven't quite seen a movie like this.

So it's Jane Show and Bruno who did. I saw the TV glow. Yep. And we're all going to the world fair. And this feels very much like it's in conversation with TV glow in a way.

But it's a queer slasher film. Mm-hmm. And there's a lot of blood. But it's very funny. And it's not very scary.

It's really funny. And the blood often feels comedic. Yes. It's not. It's a monty Python.

Yeah. It's monty Python. Yeah. You know, someone's head will get locked off. And just an amount of blood coming out of a neck.

And the force with which it comes out is cartoon. Yeah. Yeah. And in places.

“But I think what I like so much about the story is Hannah's looking for.”

Jillian, who's this reclusive. Uh, you know, reclusive actor who is in this very famous slasher film and has retired. And is living up in the area where they shot the film. And I love how you don't want to be told the plot. I am telling everybody.

Oh fuck you. No. Right? Oh. And let me tell you who did it.

But there have been many, many iterations of this film. There have been many remakes that have kind of bastardized it over the years. And so Hannah's character Chris has been given the opportunity to remake the film.

Uh, as she believes, it should have always been remade in its second iteration.

And so, um, she she comes looking for me to convince me to be a part of it. And, um, and then it kind of turns into a bit of a romance. Yeah. And, um, I love that your, your characters are rewatching the old movie up at the camp where they shot the movie. It's, it's, it's, uh, it's like an Esher drawing the hand drawing the hand.

It's this great conceit that they're in a horror movie, but they're studying a horror movie. Um, I think you'll really love it. I love to check it out. And now you know what it's all about. But I haven't really given much away or have I.

It's just a lovely film. It really is. And so I'm happy for you about that. And I really also want to talk about more because this book,

“I believe, um, we'll be coming out in September.”

You put out a book called One. Yeah. And it was, let me say, like a laborer of, what would you call it? A laborer of love that you, this was something you really, this is something you really wanted to put out there. Yeah. So, um, I was actually approached what while I was doing sex education, um, which was a series I did on Netflix.

I was playing a sex therapist and, um, to Ace of Butterfields character was my son.

As is therapist or talking to women about their sex lives, etc.

And, um, you know, she had, uh, rejected, um, a few offers. And then she had an idea, which is, um, in 73, which is the same year as Robie Wade.

“Um, Nancy Friday put together a book called My Secret Garden.”

And it was a collection of letters that she had, um, collected from her community of friends and women writers. They, she asked them to anonymously submit their fantasies to her and then she published them and she wrote introductions, um, to the, to the book and to the chapters. And, um, and so the idea was that we could do one again and see if anything's changed since the 70s, uh, given, particularly given, um, the state of the porn industry and our collective addiction to it and, uh, just how much sex is out there and available to everybody at all times.

Uh, has that affected our ability to, uh, to be honest with both ourselves and our sexual partners about what it is that we, uh, uh, our, our deepest, uh, most intimate thoughts and also, uh, shame around it.

“Is there, for me, I was really interested to know whether there was, um, whether because of how second nature, sex and sexuality and there,”

such a, uh, uh, the forefront of so many conversations and advertisements and TV shows and, et cetera, these days, um, has that had an impact on women's internal lives and their sense of themselves, the bodies, their, um, uh, levels of self-acceptance and shame, et cetera. So, what when she, my agent brought up the idea of doing this book, um, I made sense to me, like because I was on the show, um, I thought it would be really interesting to, to know the answer and I thought, you know, it, it, it makes sense that I do this based on the character that I play based on the fact that simultaneously I was also launching a functional drinks brand called G-Spot.

I was going to ask you about G-Spot. [laughter] You know where to find it, um, I, um, I'm just about to stop myself.

I can never, I, every time I look, I can't find it.

Let me say no, it's right next to the Pepsi. You know, like, I, I still can't find it. I'll send you some. Oh, long, it was next to the Pepsi. [laughter]

Um, and so I thought that would be a, I thought it'd be a great idea, so, you know, we pitched it out and we bought with Bloom Spurian and with Bloom Spurian, we set up portal, a secure portal. And invited women around the world to send in letters and we got, you know, a lot, a lot a lot and we narrowed it down to 174. And I wrote, uh, introductions, uh, introduction to the book into the chapters and that was want. And, um, it had, I remember about a, uh, shortly after I had, uh, put the call out, so to speak for women to write in.

I was doing press for, uh, a Netflix film that I did called, uh, scoop. And I was talking, I was in New York talking to, uh, women journalists and they didn't want to talk about scoop. They wanted to talk about this book that I was, uh, that, that I was about to do and I thought, this is really interesting. There is actually a big appetite for it and women are curious. Um, and, and, you know, it did, it didn't well enough that we thought we'd do another one and try and reach even more women.

“And the point of it is for it to be as inclusive and diverse and, uh, raw, uh, as possible. And I think that this new one is, uh, even bolder, um, even more audacious.”

Yeah. And, um, yeah, I'm, I'm, there's some really extraordinary. Well, the first thing that there's this, um, I mean, it needs to be anonymous so people feel completely safe. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I don't know how you grew up, but what's fascinating to me, and I, you know, loved my parents and how to, I think, a happy childhood.

But, um, sex was just never discussed in any way. And it was almost nullifying.

It's just not a thing, um, even though I look around and realize there's six of us, um, uh, born, born literally like 10 months apart.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something's up.

“I'm a good detective. My little Sherlock Holmes cap. And I think, however much that was so for me, even probably more so for, you know, the women in my family.”

I think it was really, uh, you know, that's just not something that exists or desire or anything like that. It was, that's something it wasn't discussed. And so it shouldn't be shocking and it shouldn't be any kind of revelation, but flipping through the book and just reading all of these fantasies by these different women is incredible.

It's really, it's really amazing. Who knew that they could feel pleasure.

“What, women? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Well, women I've been with.”

Maybe not them. I'm saying, yeah, some of them have written into the book.

And they haven't even redacted your name. No. Or theirs.

My wife wrote in seven times to the shop. I can tell. But also was remarkable about it. Is there such, you know, there's such tenderness and joy and so much heart and loneliness and, you know, there are women in there who are, you know, haven't even, you know, maybe just gone through puberty girls. There are women who haven't lost their virginity yet. There are women in there are 70s who who talk about just wanting to be kissed and held because they've never really had that in relationship with her.

And it's, it's really remarkable. But it also, it begs more investigation when you start to read it or even if you imagine yourself writing a fantasy down, you know, the transference from it being in, you know, the sacredness and the secret space of your mind to transfer it onto a piece of paper or onto a computer little on, you know, send it through the ethers to publishing house. But that it's, once you start to ask the question, you know, what, what is it that I, you know, what is it that I want, what is it that I dream about, what, what's the gap between what my fantasy is and what my experience is a lot of people, if they fantasize wouldn't necessarily want the fantasy to actually happen.

If you start to ask questions about, you know, what am I getting, what I need in the area of my life and if I'm not, how am I participating in me not getting that, you know, and therefore, if I am participating, if I am complicit in that relationship of not getting what I want, also are there other areas of my life that I'm, that I have needs and wants that I'm not expressing and I'm, I'm keeping myself from experiencing the fullness of what I could in my life. And so really deep questions start to take place when you start to interrogate these things.

“And I think phones and the ubiquity of the internet has really complicated things because there's a whole generation that feels they can get a lot of their needs met just on their phone and what is that interrupting, what is that dampening.”

I was listening to a long, I think it was in New York Times podcast about it where they said, people that say why risk going out and meeting people and possibly getting rejected and having all the discomfort and weirdness that might go with a hookup when I can stay in and watch pornography. And I'm safe and no effort. So, you know, it's really great that you're doing these books and really is and I'm sure a lot of people are getting a lot of solace information and not feeling alone. Oh, this is just me. I'm ashamed. Something's I'm a freak. Something's wrong with me. Yeah, well, I've done some events to raise funds for charity around it. I did in the UK, the barricade and Royal Abarhal did events, you know, in full houses inviting, you know,

women and men and everything in between hearing celebrities, I am full of celebrities reading from the book and just the sense of unity and recognition and joy and hilarity and in this new book, the two letters that I talk about the most just one for the juxtaposition,

And naked, and she's sliding around and there are meatballs sliding around and that one is safe. But it's really, it's really delightful and everybody, you know, it really sticks and people's minds.

And then another one woman who is recently had a double mastectomy who is, you know, curious about not just re-learning her new body, but having the experience of learning it and feeling it again through through somebody else in their experience about so looking forward to having a sexual experience. But with this new body and exploring what what, you know, the different ways that she can feel again something that she hasn't for quite a while and, you know, obviously that's incredibly moving and, you know, extraordinary that somebody took the time to write about that and to send it in and to share that very vulnerable experience.

“So there's a very wide range of, but also I'm sure healing for them to get this book and see that they're in there, and they've, they're being heard in a very powerful way.”

I've got one more story which is at the last, the penultimate event that I did at the barricade, Olivia Wilde read a particular story about a woman who fantasized, who moved into a new neighborhood with her husband and good friends for, they've been married for a long time, and there was a woman who lived down the street in her new neighborhood and she fantasized about,

her, after the show, I did a meet and greet to raise more money for charity and a woman was there and she said, "My letter was read tonight."

She said, "Wow." And I said, "Wow." Which one? And she said, "If you don't mind telling me." She had a meatball on her hand. She just likes to get a set on the side of her face. She said, "The one that Olivia Wilde read." I was trying to think, I was trying to think, and she said, "And this is my new partner."

Wow. That's crazy. She was actually there sitting in the audience with the woman that she was now partnered with her being fantasized about.

And I have to say, the book is not a proponent for leaving long-term relationships and throwing a wrench into your lives, but at the same time, that's an extraordinary story and experience and those things happen for people.

“That's remarkable. It really is remarkable. Just want to make sure that, yeah, want is the original, which is always available and more is coming out, I think, in a couple of weeks.”

When is the job? Yeah. And teenage sex and death that can't, my asthma is a wonderful film. It doesn't roll off the tongue that time, but it's really wonderful. And it has been way too long since I had a chance to talk to you and you're remarkable, really are, and so thrilled that you could make the time to come in and talk to you. Thank you. Thank you. That was such a pleasure. It was nice to see you again. Nice to see you as well. Well, that's our time.

“I've never ended that way. I'm pretending we're on radio show now. It's news and weather now, 10 on the 10. Oh, by the way, the wellness drink, the G-spot.”

So it's a healthy, functional soda. So it's got adaptogens and utropics in it like blinds, main and corducepts, and it's a dry. One is called Lyft, and it's red berries and cero pepper, and there's one called Protect, which is ginger and peppercorn also has tumouric and vitamin B's and c's instead of, and then there's Sooth, which is Scarlet Apple and sage and it's got chaga and it's got a lot of sage. It's apparently really good also with gin, but I'm listening or you can just have gin. I know, but it's a really good mix too, but yeah. And then, and then there's what's now called Awaken, which is a bit of an aphrodisiac, which we have actually wrapped in collaboration with movie for the film, and it's usually purple and the liquid itself is a beautiful purple color because it's got butterfly P in it, which is it's real like scientific name is

But it's a very, it's a, yeah, I get your blood pumping a bit anyway, so we wrapped it like the movie with little death on the front to this stuff, and so it's, I'm going to check that out. That's really good. That's a really good. That's a really good food and a banyero that one. We'll get some, we'll get some and bring it in here and have a tasting. I will get some senti guys. Don't worry about it. I'll get some senti guys.

Well, thank you so much. Again, it's amazing.

“Okay, David Hopping has an item he wants to bring to our council meeting. What do you got David?”

Thank you for having me. I have found a quiz online that is called platonic healthy relationship slash friendship quiz, and we are going to find out if you two have a healthy relationship. Okay, this is all going to be really sona's answers. Yes, you're welcome to chime in, but there's funny. There's, we'll do one. No, we'll just do as many. Yeah, just so this is a quiz to determine if we could have a healthy platonic relationship or we have one.

Yeah, okay, so we're going to start sona number one. Yes, is Conan supportive of your passions work hobbies and other aspects of your life. Yes. Yes, very, very supportive. Yes, does he encourage you to try new things. Yeah, you do, you encourage me to get outside of my comfort zone. Yeah, and to like, I do suggest you try doing some work at some point. That's it. That's a new thing. So yes, because he listened to you when you need support.

He does. He actually, you know what, I thought this was going to go another way. Like going really well. Like does he fat cookies out of your hand? Well, he respect your boundaries physically emotionally related to your time or otherwise. No, no, no, I do not. If she's needing any food item and seems to be enjoying it, I will slap it out of it. If I'm wearing a hair bun, he will slap it until it unravels. He constantly shakes me and just shakes me and sends it to you.

Oh, thank you all. Thank you very much. This he create opportunities for you to spend time with people other than himself. Are there people other than myself? Should I be a no. That's a no.

“Does he encourage you to balance your time between the relationship and other aspects of your life?”

You don't want. Yeah, I think I do that. This is, this is sincere. You do like when you take care of your kids and when you, you know, I have fun. Yeah, you have been helped the approach to it. Does he respect you for who you are and doesn't try to change you?

Oh, no. He does it respect me for actually. I did try to change you for a long time and then I gave up. I don't know if you respect me for who I am. I think you tolerate who I am. Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no respect. Is this person not well liked by your friends or family?

Oh, God, no, they love him. Come on. I know. That's one of the most frustrating things about it. Is your dad know I do an impression of him where I put my finger under my nose and pretend it's a mustache? Yeah, when you call him Jepeto and stuff, he knows all this stuff.

And he still likes you as a person. I think he knows it's good stuff. Oh, God. Does he text or call you constantly wondering where you are? I mean, yeah, yeah, back to the day, especially.

Has he ever accused you of not being a loyal member of this relationship? No. I haven't.

She is always said for all of her flaws and there are too many to count here.

She's one of the most, she's, I trust, I trust, so on with my life. You know, I know I'm right or die. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, does he tell you to change how you look?

Yes, he does. Yeah, she's got it. Yeah, like you talk about me getting an industrial press to straighten my hair. Yeah, but he's like that. He's like you a hard time if you wear the same leather jacket for years and years and years and years

and years and years and years and years on the edge like to everything. Big big yes. Yes, he make you check in a lot to update him on what you're doing. Yes. Yes, I do.

Derek, I'm curious to see how this is going to end up.

Always tells me I need to support them and it's never there for me when I need support.

No, I support you. He supports me. That's like kind of the first question. Yeah. That's he ever make you feel bad about yourself.

That's absolutely.

“The only way to fix Sony is to get it to realize the monster she already is.”

That's he ever limit your access to your own money and does he control the finances. You share responsibility. Can I say if I could control Sony's money, I would this would be so much fun, but I don't do that. He is the source of my money. Yeah.

The golden goose has he ever spread a rumor about you. Yes, all the time that I feel that I am that you floated to this gritty. Yeah, that I floated. There was a go to tack in Armenia. I built a boat out of some fetch, put you in the ocean, you floated.

You came, I think I said you came ashore somewhere around San Diego.

And that's when I found you and taught you to put on clothes and speak and how to speak English. Yeah, like I jumped out of it. I think your words were I jumped out of a bush when you were walking down the street. And I was like, it was only for all creatures.

It's what I said to really so amazing and they print.

Yeah, they printed it. So yes, yes. I hope this answer is no. Does he ever pressure you to engage in physical touch like hugging or holding hands, et cetera? I mean, not sexually, but he, you know, no.

I ask you to do anything. Oh, no. No. No. Of course not.

Does he ever blame or shame you when you ask for help or support? Yes. Yes.

“Does he ever make you feel like you need to change part of who you are and that you can't be”

or authentic self? Yes. Yes. Yes. That's a big, I don't like the rotten stuff.

Or do you ever feel like you're walking on egg shells around Conan? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. If I were a shirt that's slightly different than what I normally wear, I'm worried.

And I think everybody is that you're going to make a, if God forbid, I wear a denim jacket.

You can be like, hey, a lentil called and he wants to trip back. Not only, what I say that I do say that. Does he ever yell a little or humiliate you in front of other people? - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - Yeah, I see where this thing is going.

- Does he ever? - Yeah. - Yes. - Does he ever the grab push, shove, kick, punch, slap, or hurt you physically in any of it? - Yes, absolutely. - All the way.

- Every single one of those. - Every single one of those. - Every single one of those. - Every single one of those. - And also, is there a place you can write every day? (laughing)

- Is there a sexy butt? - A sexy butt? - Great. - Does Conan ever have big mood swings? They may be yelling at you one minute, then apologizing, then that is, that is, Conan. - I am six feet, four inches,

a hundred and ninety three pounds of mood swings. All right, three more questions? - Yes. - Does Conan ever try to control what you do, who you see, or how you spend your time? - Yes, absolutely, 100%.

- Yes, yes. - Does he ever get jealous or possessive? - Yes, when I was working for you, I wouldn't say jealous or possessive, but I should be the number one priority in your life. Things like that before I had kids, of course.

- I still think I should be the number one priority. - All right, okay, yeah. - But just kids, you know, get out of it.

“- That's why he called them Rubin Tug in the belly,”

'cause you were angry that they were existing. - Yeah, you started, they were growing inside you when I was in rage. I think he said that to shack. - You did, yeah.

- When I say that, yeah. - When you were talking to shack, you were, you said I wanted to call so and his kids Rubin Tug and shack like that. - And he cried.

- Do you remember his suggestions for names were Mark and Marco? (laughing) You were the same name. - Yeah, but he did say he had do an icy hot commercial.

(laughing) He had do one and he had give the proceeds for their college fun. - Nice. - So, all right, last question.

Does Konaver put you down, call you names, or criticize you? - Oh my God. - Yes. - I understand, a bunch of these questions.

I feel like they know me, they really, this is from like a university website too. - Yeah. - Okay, so now I need to tell you these up. All right, you be telling me, I want to tell you

“what you need to take, you need to tell me,”

I'll soon and I talk, you know, I think, I don't know what, I think this is gonna go poorly for me, this test. That's my, you know, it's one of those things where I don't even need the driving instructor to tell me

because there's a postman on my windshield bleeding out. So, I don't need to be told that this test didn't go well. I know that, but the facts remain. I love you. I care about you very important person in my life.

I'm very proud of you, but my out, my behavior towards you is completely insane. - It's a porn, a porn. - Yeah, and it's everybody. I mean, what if Blay got the question,

does he ever beat you or take you? - Because if his size and strength, I am allowed to actually hit. - Yeah. - It's Blay and like maybe now it's down to

because people, people that write for me, a lot of them can't handle it. - It used to be Michael Coleman was the main. Michael Coleman's terrific writer, Maddo Brian is still Maddo Brian's still.

And no relation, but Maddo Brian, yeah, I will, I will pummel him. And if I see, if I just saw a caution sign on the side of the road, I would pull it out of the ground and be beating him with the iron sign.

- And that's my way of showing love. - That's true. - Yeah, I'm more worried the days you don't hit me. - I know, I think that's the thing. If you did respect me and didn't make fun of me

and I'd be like, we need to get him to a hospital.

- Yeah, I remember the first time

he made fun of me, Sonna pulled me aside and was just like, just so you know, that's a really good thing. - Yeah, you want that. This is how it works in abusive relationships.

- You've made it, David. - Yeah. - All right, do you want the results? - Yeah, let's share it. - You guys scored 24 out of, it just has 30 plus.

You are most likely in an abusive relationship. (laughing) - Well, I could have told you, I could have told you that. - This isn't meant to name your experience and just hopes to serve as an opportunity

to connect you with people who can help you. (laughing)

- Yeah, I love that first ball, this is just between us.

“This will never go out to the larger world.”

- Oh, are these microphones? - Yeah, they are, yeah, we are. - In cameras. Yeah, well, there you have it. - There you have it.

- And I don't dispute any of that. And I would have, the first question should have been is Sony an abusive relationship with you. And I would have said, no, yeah. - We're gonna skip a little bit.

- We're gonna skip a little bit.

- The first question should have been,

"Do you work for Conan O'Reilly?" (laughing) - A true monster, a true monster. - But what I said, I love you, I care about you, I don't hit you, you know, I bad it food out of your hands

and I will, if you have your hair up in the top, not, I will not get loose, so it has kids down. But, physical stuff, you know, I make sure that it's someone like Blake who can really take it. - Yeah.

- And Blake, you're free to make it stop at any time. Maybe, we'll see.

“- I think it's an honor, I don't know how you feel.”

- Well, you can say, you know.

- I love getting abused by you, I don't know what that says about me. - That doesn't have to be me. - I know, but yeah, this is the best job I've ever had. I'm not going anywhere.

- I honestly think it's great, it's like brothers. - Yeah, it's like, why grew up, all I did was my brother's and I would fight would be fake fighting, but it was a lot of. So, that there's a ways in which my, many ways in which my development was arrested, if you will.

- I think we're all substitutes for your siblings. - Yeah.

“- And that's, you know, we're all paying the price.”

- And there's a main price too. (laughing) - You think I moved on from them? I just got more. (laughing)

- All right, well, David, this was a really good idea. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Macquarlie.

Produced by me, Macquarlie. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

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