Molly Shannon Returns

No, you're not I don't think I generate a cool vibe

But yes, you do really. Oh, yeah, we're getting the coolest Welcome to Conan O'Brien. It's a friend. I've joined by Sonom of Session. Hello, and of course Mr. Gorley How are you, sir? I'm well, how are you? I'm really good. Although we did discover recently that the chair I'm in makes noises. Yeah, it does are we gonna oil this chair. What's going on? I am not the person Do we find out what's wrong with this chair? I'm actually I will say Jason Chlemie and I are ahead of the game

We already switched that chair out for you. So this is a new chair that I just interviewed a very famous celebrity. Yes, and while I was talking to him I heard We all thought it was a felt like a very old Jimmy Stewart at an auction But what it was what was going on who would allow a chair like that to even be in this room? Well, we're not exactly we don't test the chairs every day, but this is why you didn't get that job at NASA

“We don't test the rock. That's why we didn't test it. I mean we kind of operate in in this studio”

We kind of operate on a oh when it breaks then we fix it. Yeah, it's being ahead of the game We kind of wait for something bad. Well, I don't know. I you just looped and word it went to your failure Oh no, and okay, and that's not no. I go by that. Yeah, that's just make sure we have the proper equipment For big everyone looked at the clock to see how much more time we have during this segment when I started speaking by the way Yeah, I don't just mark when to wrap I was I see a judgment. Yeah, play. I like you and I

Yeah, I didn't look at the clock. I just look for something that I can hurt myself with Just need it so awkward. Yeah, like we want you to just stop talking Yeah, but we tell you that but everybody just looks at the clock. I don't know literally you all look as soon as I started speaking everyone Looked at the clock. Oh, no, I didn't look at the clock. You did you all look down for there I want you

This is on finally we keep her back time. That's my job. I see personally

Okay, but now you've talked a lot Yeah, okay, I'm looking at the clock. I apologize. Your share is fixed. It's fixed But it did make a big noise and it was a big problem Uh, not a big problem and he's a be fixed right over there. I'm sorry It's usually literally about a well-oiled machine. Exactly. It is not

We had a topic And then we went down this primram history We know we talking about I can't remember. What do we just start over? No, no, this is fine

“Just will you not shut up when do you decide play when did you decide that you needed to steer the podcast left and right?”

I got this. I got this. What a mad man. Can we believe the man alone? There's a lot here. I'm he dyno. He does a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so the unit bomber Okay, so

We had I'm talking to you now man. Let's see if interjecting can just settle down for a second

What about me? You're good We'll get to you. We had a topic that we agreed on. Yeah, we were gonna talk about the fact that son has sons have learned to Oh my god, that was the topic That was the top we tried to think of that was the topic that made us say

She brought it up with you. Okay, let's go. I know you did. I just Wow, you know what's looking tempting right now blaze Motivalian discussion of squeaking chairs Part four Chapter one

But okay, so Let's let's commit to this and see if there's something there. Okay, so no, you're on the street is that You're twin sons learn to swim. Yeah, Charlie and Mikey can swim now. Okay, and what floaties needed baby? What was the process? They went to classes and had an instructor one on one and they taught him what to do and they they did it Wow, well, that's a good story. I've got a story. No, but I have one too. I don't know. I would write you want to hear about how I learned to swim

“That's what I was going to say. I want to learn how you you let me show you how you tell a story about swimming”

We went They made a promise that the swimming would be learned it was learned and all was done No conflict and no conflict and no conflict and then everyone was happy and then long credits What we did have a little bit of a conflict. Oh good. This is how you did it or to lead with them? They were learning how to swim in this one pool and then they thought they could only swim in that one pool

Looks like specific swimming lessons. Yeah, yeah, okay. It only works in that one pool. Yeah, I can understand that that's sweet

“When I was a little kid growing up and I think I've mentioned this before”

We didn't have a summer house or anything but we would stay at my grandfather's Summer cottage. She had a small house near the state beach in misquamacut, Rhode Island and so all of us The giant O'Brien clan would cram into my grandparents house and that was our favorite thing would go there for like a month in August and we would go down to the beach and it was time for us to learn swimming How to how to swim and my mother signed us up for red cross classes that they taught in

This marshy area that was near the near the state beach. You know, not the most appetizing body of water. It was like a salt marsh You're going to learn this. Yeah, and you'd like you'd mark climb through some some tall reads Baby attacked by a crane and You know it had that boggy smell Methany smell anyway. We don't get there of course my mother. I would burn constantly and so she would just put white t-shirts on us

Which we now know just to tracks Morrison and I would get giant blisters on my back picture in these little red children. No, I was so I was so red. I don't even think they had come out with some block yet This is you know the early 1970s

“So she put I think she just put mayonnaise on her faces and then I'd be at a text by these guys”

For the oh yeah attack by these marsh animals So I'm sitting there like cross-legged and this woman would lecture us and then she would say it Who's turned it was to go in and and the first thing she wanted us to learn was how to float on our back

And I remember it she would always read through all our names. We had to say present

But she would always say the same thing she would go Pan and I'll Brian CON oh and can and I'll Brian and then on the ride home my brother Neo would go Can and oh Brian and I was sit there burning like Chivering because you get like blisters and then you're shivering and

And covered in just like a methaney bog smell and still like a You know some kind of some kind of marsh birds still nestled in my shirt And that was my traumatic introduction But I do thank the red cross for teaching me how to float on my back, which I can do to this day Which I can do to this day

And yes, you have a story oh well a year ago when we we hired a swimming instructor for my daughter Glenn And

So it's the first time she's coming over. We've never met her. She's a wonderful young woman

Comes over gets out of her day clothes into a leopard print one piece very attractive young woman Wow, sits there and neither none of us have entered the backyard yet and she's just sitting there in the pool Turns out she's in our neighbor's pool and the mother of the neighbors comes out and it's like What is this woman she went to the wrong house you went to the wrong house? What is this man? Is my husband having an affair?

What is this woman in our leopard print bathing she's doing in our pool and she came over she figured it out and came over She's like I'm so sorry. I just I just went to your neighbors and the wife was there and she thought maybe I was having an affair Can I just say this is the excuse are you yes every time lies that catches me cheating Every time who's this bikini to bimbo in our backyard? I say that every time and lies it goes So how did you how did the lessons go

Fine after Okay, and we she and I are very close now. I'm Bet you are Listen the important thing is it's turned it off with us not knowing what to say and And play you did try to help and I appreciate that You know you stumbled or bumble does most large force bears do yes, but you did help

“You got us and then I think my anger towards you caused me to come up or suddenly remember this story”

Good premise good a bit, but don't we always say let's just go. We'll figure that

But also it was soon as inability to tell a good story that I think at a panic I rose to the occasion and then you rose to the occasion, so Sony you helped too. You're welcome. All right

Now you can see her alongside Will Ferrell in the new Netflix comedy series the hawk

“This woman is one of my all-time favorite human beings and I'm thrilled she's back on the podcast”

Molly Shannon welcome Molly listen, I've known you a long time. You're gonna listen to me now. I don't know. I said listen here I've known you a long now. You listen to me a Meshuget Meyer of yours. You have the best energy Molly just walked into this building and just Made everybody

It's sunshine, but that's the effect you have on people you you were talking to everyone you were talking How much you love the building you were you were hugging me? We're hugging our our booker Paula Davis I got a hug Even you got a hug Yeah, you didn't you

Come on, I always feel like we have oh, here's your coffee. Oh my god. Let's have this coffee come in. Thank you very much, man. Thank you

And you're fired So I've always felt like a kinship with you Molly and I I don't know if I'm correct and saying any Of this, but we both are Irish stock Catholic. Yes Irish Catholic. Okay, and I used to watch you You know over the years when I first was watching you on SNL and I would notice that you would just throw yourself around with

Absolute careless abandon Often into stacked chairs classroom chairs As Mary Catherine Gallagher, you know, and at the time I remember thinking well, those must be made of foam Yeah, and then I found out later. No, they're just the same chairs. They use in a classroom which are The most dangerous thing in the world you can throw yourself into yeah, yeah, I would see you do that and I would think oh

I too if I think it will get a laugh yeah, we'll do something With throw myself into a pile of of nails if I thought people would laugh yeah, yeah, and I thought

This this Molly Shannon I don't know. I need it's just always made me very curious about you and I've always felt like we're quasi related

Is that possible? I know it could be possible How how Catholic were you growing up very Catholic my dad was really you know, yeah We went to church all the time and he was very I would say very religious, you know, yeah, yeah

“He believed that you shouldn't have sex before marriage or you should put your marriage certificate above the bed like that type of Catholic”

Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah He felt like you shouldn't live with somebody before you were married. Yeah. Well, that would be my parents as well Your parents too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were they were both very Catholic. Yeah, and almost a 19th century way You know, I think it felt like and they were both very smart My parents both very smart people who lived in the modern world but came from this

19th century idea. I think a little bit of how one should conduct oneself. That's it. I love that old-fashioned values I was gonna say, but regarding the Mary Catherine stuff I feel at that time I was much crazier and more reckless and it felt a little bit like I didn't care and I I wouldn't even feel pain when I was doing it I would feel nothing. I would feel at the next day, but I got it the next day

Is that is not what I got bruised and cut and I could not feel it in the moment of all my wife would always know it

It's like I'm getting out of the shower and I would just my whole leg would be yellow and purple and should say what is that? And I go huh and then I'd remember All right, we had a water buffalo on set and I jumped on it and I got thrown off of it You know, I would remember these things and it didn't hurt as much at the time Because I was getting all the adrenaline of people laughing. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Orange man fell down

And then you didn't even notice you were bruised and now you don't really think about that stuff and then later on you'd notice this leg won't work

“Just walking in circles. Yeah. Did you I think he used to watch mass on television?”

Because I remember that being a fixture when I was staying at my grandfather's house, he would have the mass on my grandmother and grandfather would have the mass on television And I remember being kind of fascinated by that because sometimes it was the only thing that came in This is before cable. Yeah, and you would just watch whatever came in like oh we're getting reception on this one channel It's a Catholic mess. Let's check it out It beats going outside and playing like other people. Yeah

My sister Mary and I would watch the mass for shut-ins. They called it and we would count and they would show people going up to communion And we'd together to get the way for you to get the way for we would we would guess how many people were wearing glasses

About they can you can make any kind of bad and that's the kind of thing people would better online about now my friends son started poly market Oh, you kidding. Yeah, that must be going away with wisdom of the crowd. Yes. Yeah. I know it's amazing

“But I was gonna say and then we would watch this other show called Davey and Goliath right after do you remember that? Of course”

I remember Davey and Beth it was claymation yeah, and it was it was a boy named Davey and his dog was named Goliath And Goliath would be like oh, no, Davey. It doesn't sound like a good idea and they were made

I think by the Catholic archdiocese and they were a little morality tales and so it was always you know this claymation boy

Yeah, saying I'm gonna go over there and you know throw paint against that wall. Oh, no, Davey Oh, there they are there's Davey and Goliath Why is that so cool? Yeah, and so that show was weird Some of the episodes were very strange. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll have to go back and look at it But I remember better if I share memory. Okay

I'm glad you brought this up. Yeah, there's one my brother Neo and I howled for days about this we were watching it Davey and the whole family is on a camping trip and Davey finds this beautiful spring like a little watering hole that all the animals are feet drinking at and it's just beautiful And Davey finds a can of red paint and he pours it into the watering hole and says look I made a giant strawberry shake haha and of course the dog goes oh you don't know Davey and then you see all the animals

“Yeah, you see all the animals try to drink out of it and they can't and I think they're going to die”

And the father has a stern talk with Davey and I thought Davey's a sociopath

That's amazing. That's really messed up. I'm gonna put plutonium in this water supply

So no one in New York can have a drink of water and anyone who does all die. I don't know Davey That's an act of terrorism Anyway, I'm sorry. I went on a jag there. I love it. Wait Conan. Do you are you like it? Do you consider yourself an extrovert extrovert or do you ever have time when you're not performing like not being bruised? waking up bruised where you're just like have to be quiet and just reading or

I do like to read It's a funny thing where I want to say I may I'm you can be both. It's a weird thing

But you can be an insane extrovert which I can be and then there are other times where you know people come to the door

And I just kind of want to stay in my room because you almost feel a shyness like yeah I don't want to turn that guy on right now. Yes, but of course. I would say most the time It's it's weird. You can be both. I'm guessing you're both. I'm both Jack Nicholson used to say when he would go out and public he would have to be the mayor

“You have to be the mayor. Oh, hello everybody. You know like really and I'm like that's a good way to put it”

Yes, I'm definitely both. I love being around people. I'm like you and I get energy from people But I can be by myself for hours and be completely entertained hiking and being quiet Yes, so I think I'm an extrovert introvert maybe. Yeah, you can be both. I just spent a weekend It was my wife was at a town and I just was me and my two dogs because my kids are both, you know out of town and I just

Spent my whole weekend either reading a book or walking with the dogs and then I came in today and I can't stop talking And it's been a problem. They want to sit at me Yes, did you feel like did you when you're by yourself with the dogs house like I'm really have myself? Yeah, I really do whatever I want and how long do you sit and read? Can you if you have the luxury of time? Oh, I would read for hours if I could you know

I mean with breaks. Yes with break because I and I blame apps apps have shortened to my reading time But as long as I take a little break I can I can read a lot and I like that makes me really happy Um, this is interesting because when you describe your childhood. It's not like mine And you've talked about this. I know a lot and you've talked about it on this podcast. Yeah

How your dad was very unconventional in some of his thinking yes because at one point in in one way He's very Catholic and very strict but in another way he had these very strange ideas that he was

Encourage you've never talked to this about this with me, but he would encourage you to cheat. Yes. Yes

He did not care a lot. So this is a guy who says no premarital sex No premarital sex And you can't live with someone before you marry them, but if you can cheat to get ahead do it He wasn't like that. No, he just he really thought street smarts were like a great thing. You know learning how to make a buck and Make it in the world and school

He would say if I had a big exam and I was stressed out and high school He would say can't you get a call in second get a copy of the test so you can go in the next day So he really did not care about school. He was so laid back and Yeah, he was much more into street smarts. Isn't that interesting? It's fascinating Yeah, so he didn't mind and then if we went to the amusement park like he's okay

If you guys clean out that back yard I'll take you to Joggle like this local amusement park in Cleveland and then but then when we got there He was like, I don't really want to have to pay so he's like can you guys sneak in like hop over the fence and we were like But there's barbed wire And he was like just do it do it. It'll be an adventure

It's a funny amount of pay. It's funny that he's defining this as street smarts It's a crime. These are crimes. These are crimes

“But yeah, but it must have I mean he was wild. He was fine. Are we go to the movies right?”

He didn't I have told these stories in front of us. Yeah, we would we go to the movie and then after let the mall or whatever They would have those gates that they would pull down like its Spencer's gifts or the wig store Whatever, and then we saw wig store coming out of the movies at the mall and he was like stick your little hand in there and try to pull He thought it was the clogging That you get it okay

It's like that you just reach your hand in and if you can get it That's a jewelry store, but if you can get your hand in there But we get you I pull like wig Big wig for me and him in my front end and we put them on and I mean I love it running out of the mall with our wigs

No, never catch us. They said leaving them all wearing three crazy wigs

I rest that man on the beehive hairdo No, there's one hundred crazy stories like that. He was a wild. He was a rule breaker But yes, he was traditional, but understanding the Catholic stuff was a little messed up because he is He ended up admitting right before he died I said if you ever thought you might be gay and he was like most definitely

Oh, wow, and so I think he was conflicted with his Would he's not alive to say what he would have been whether be bisexual Homosexual, but I did say have you ever thought you might be gay when he was dying of cancer 72? We were sitting in the four seasons hotel. I was on the pressure and he's like most definitely and then we talked all about it

“So I think the closeted homosexuality or bisexuality was mixed up with the Catholic stuff. Does that make sense?”

Works it does. Yeah, because he couldn't believe Be who he wanted to be so I think he had Anger about that not being able to express himself. Yeah, so yeah, and then it comes out your elbow

It says is the phrase I've always thought that I've heard used which is

If you can admit some essential truth about yourself. You think you can suppress it, but it's coming out in some way Yes, yes, and that means stealing wigs through great You I heard it's one story that you and one of your friends used to go to a hospital To eat food for free. Mm-hmm. How would you do that? That's so fun. Well, that's kind of

Fun fine. Oh, yeah, no, I don't think we did it. No, we didn't we would pay for the food But it was kind of like I still feel that way. It was if you've kind of felt in a little bit of a rut I would do I would try to throw myself into a different atmosphere Like oh, let's go. Let's just go up to the hospital and we'll get lunch and we'll get like Creamy broccoli soup and a split a tuna for salt sandwich and we can watch the doctors and it felt inspiring to be in a different type of atmosphere

I still feel that set. I still feel that same way and when I would when I was first in LA and I was struggling as an actress I would get kind of depressed because I was like, oh, this is so hard. It's such a hustle I didn't realize how hard it was So when I felt in kind of a blue mood I would drive to Ontario, California and I would go to the

Wilford Academy School of Beauty and let the young students do my hair and I would get breakfast at Mollies

“And I would feel better kind of throwing myself in a new atmosphere. I think it's traveling”

But like little cheap ways to kind of open your mind. Yes, yeah, there is this Concept among you know neurologist you have to just keep challenging your brain

Yeah, I'm not challenged so it sounds like they almost the ultimate way to say I'm gonna go to

You know, I'm gonna hang out with some scuba divers just to see what that's all about Exactly, even though I haven't passed any classes and I could easily die underwater. I was gonna try it Well, I love reading about brain signs and I do think if you do feel in that state

“Sometimes an action can help you kind of get out of your head and I think yes”

So I love reading about that also if you ever felt like you know angry or something If you do or kind of supercharge if you do a math problem Also like a subtraction problem. You're that can also calm down. You're a migdala or if you I just love the idea of thoughts and how you can change your thoughts and Stuff to do to help you get out of a little

rut or something. Does that make sense? I love reading about that. Yeah, yeah Every now and then I'll be doing something in a friend say well, this is the same very like you I think that's good. Yeah, yeah, because I I want to try like what kind of thing for example Well, I don't talk about it much on the show, but for years I drive a motorcycle. I ride a motorcycle and people don't know that and I do it kind of like I just like and you can be another person

You can put on a helmet and you can just go and as long as you have a Credit card in your pocket. You can pay for gas and you can go anywhere and Sometimes I just feel like I'm a different person when I'm doing that and I take off

“For a most of a day and come back and I it's very therapeutic because I'm being someone else for what?”

Which I really like. Yes, I love that. I also kill people No, you can you can if it's completely random nothing links you to the crime And then you get away, but you have that feeling of like I'm choking a life Are you you know you're you're a mean and then you run a little quick burial shallow grave and then you run away And then you're not you just feel like I was just that guy for a while

I've done that second one a lot. Oh okay, and I lied about the motorcycle

I mostly just kill Anyway, try and you're gonna really like I know that you were here to talk about this project that you're doing with with Will Ferrell yeah, and you too have Such a unique

Chemistry and relationship that just goes back Did you work together before S&L or was that now the time that you came together? Oh, that was the time we came together I worked at the No Rose Baking Company and will was in the groundlings comedy school across the street And we had a mutual friend named Patricia Coder and she said Molly

“I really think you're gonna get along great with this guy Will Ferrell and I was like bringing him over to the coffee shop”

So he came over and I was like nice to meet you And what do you want? He was like I'll have a skull in a latte and then we just started talking We became friends we've been friends for over 30 years We we did click right away just like she said and I got on S&L first and will came shortly after Yeah, we just right away

It's like which clicked so much and I've been really close close friends for so long and then you're on S&L together and everything else happens Yeah, and I really did feel like the press was kind of behind and when we all first start all us new Commerce they were kind of like, you know, really hard on us and I remember thinking wow The press is really behind they're just kind of copying old press and will to take the like to not feel bad He would hang up the worst reviews about himself on his office door

Isn't that wild to just kind of take the you know

To not feel ashamed about it. Sure not good for him. I could never do that

But I remember thinking they're wrong and they don't these people are really good I'm like this is good. I so it helped me understand the press a little bit where I was like wow They're like outside and they haven't caught up yet. I remember first hearing about will and someone said Oh, yeah, I've been hanging out with this new cast member Will Ferrell and the end of the season He was

Trust as a character on some sketch and he decided to just keep wearing the costume Yes, and I don't know if it was like a you know like a boiler suit or some kind of over the top Weird costume, but he wore it for weeks and weeks and a friend of mine Said yeah, I saw him at the National History Museum and he's still wearing that And I said I don't know who that guy is but I love that guy

Before I knew him. Yeah, I'm playing in the character I know he loves doing that kind of stuff and it's so he's really just entertaining himself and it's just so he It's so fun and and he's so creative and I think Will too is more serious to them People would expect like we know his big comedy set, but I know his more serious side and it's so yeah, it's a drag No, I I know what you mean. It's what I mean. I think what's tough and I think it's the same thing with you too is

and your talent machines and both of you are very soulful. Yeah, real people. Yes, you have a very serious idea. Yes, yes, very

And do you find that there are people when they first meet you who think they're going to meet

The Molly Shen and who's going to throw herself into a bunch of shares and then they find someone who's really talking to them Seriously about an issue

“Probably yeah, I think because I think I am more serious. I really like to get to know people and if I have time”

And I think I'm more a one on one and I think I'm shyer than people would think too, but yeah, I do feel that a little bit too Yeah, and the whole thing too with critics like what you were saying to I feel like I'm very conscious too of like God You could so easily you know the whole like show business such a hustle and I just don't like getting into that thing of like going back like you're good You're bad. You could you bet I think I can really repeat like childhood patterns and so I try to be healthier

You know when you think about life and how lucky we are to be healthy. I just I just don't I don't really worry But I try not to get into that too. Don't you think having a family helps? My God, it helps so much. It's just my everything like I'm just so glad I'm alive to be there and do it It affects every decision in my life my children I want to be there. I love being a mom. That's my number one

So it makes show biz less. I'm very real. I'm pretty late very late back about it. I would say you have

“Yeah, you have like a solid foundation like a solid basement foundation of this is what matters”

Yes, yeah. Other stuff can come and go. Yeah, and I feel like I just don't want to do that to myself like

Rile myself up like that like never feeling good enough or that you're only as good as you're last thing

I'm like ugh enough. You know, I want to I feel like I'm proud of myself and I try not to have to Need that so much from the outside. Does that make sense? Yeah. Otherwise you just feel so unhealthy And I feel like there can be a nice place to be healthy and be creative and not like not not We're too much about that too. I worked hard and therapy to not rile myself up like that. What kind of therapy did you do? I mean, I don't EMDR and do you know what that is? No, I just said mm-hmm, okay

Look like I know what's going on. It's more for like trauma where you do like bilateral Simulation so if you were nervous you do the beep beep beep beep like the little um there's like a buzzer

“Where you would you would you would hold the buzzer and it and you go back into you would you could pick like”

Supercharged moments in your life like a top five where you're like and feeling scared or whatever Yeah, and the bilateral simulation kind of will bring it from like a 10 to like a three so you slowly kind of can Reprocess this these trauma yeah, and so it really it's it's great Did you ever do cognitive cognitive? I mean yes, yes cognitive is so fascinating because they say If you have a good imagination it can be great or you have also have a great imagination for bad things

My career is over. I suck. I'm terrible All these things David writes to me every day Just a little memo. Yeah, but I start to spiral and go down and and one of the things I learned is right at all down on a piece of paper Walk away from it for 10 minutes Come back and then read the piece of paper during a worry time

Yeah, and you read it in like I'm the worst person we ever live in ago. Well, no Stalin was bad I mean, yes, I'm bad, but I'm not bad, and then you know You find evidence you find fairy to the belief, but also a lot of the things you've written down just look silly You know like they just look ridiculous and so I find that to be And it's helped me talk to my kids if they have anxiety

All these little tools, but I'm always looking for the another thing, you know because you okay

I've got those tools, but I'm always looking for the next thing. Yes, I love that I I love that kind of stuff But that does make sense the act of writing it that you can put it aside and then when you go back and look at it You know, you're like yeah, I just I just write a great book called social anxiety for the overthinker And it talked about that same thing and I love that kind of stuff. I talked to myself out loud One of my kids over her me. I don't want to talk they're private and stuff

But I was talking to myself in my office and that one of them overheard me, and I was like just going through these files It was kind of a tedious and I was like you do in a great job, malls And one of my kids heard me and they're like yeah, they yelled over that. Yeah, doing a great job Wasn't aware that I was doing like a kind of long island coat talk. We're talking to myself out loud Telling myself. Why don't you go? I don't know. It just came up you do in a great job, malls

No, I love I love positive self talk creative is visualization. I feel like life is hard like any tools

Yeah, too. I feel like I'm in great shape, but it's not really about exercise. It's about

It just makes me feel so happy so good. I sleep better. It just makes me relax Do you do this because exercise releases all these endorphins and so what I have found is I'll get on a treadmill and I'll run really hard. It's like wow. I did I just did 40 minutes on the treadmill really you know Really going all out and I'm sweating and I get off of it and I'm I'm euphoric

I am euphoric and when I've been on the treadmill, I've had all these ideas and it's like I'm You know, I'm going to learn how to play the Obo and I'm going to become a really good Obo player Like I'll come up with all these ideas for what I want to do and I'm going to take a woodworking course

And I'm going to build a sideboard and give it to my wife on our interversaries. It's going to be made out of maple

And then I'll play the Obo while she's open. I'll have all these ideas and I'll start looking up stuff online like Obo classes Carpentry classes and then I get in my car. I drive here to the studio

“I get to work and I think I don't want to do any of that”

I don't want to do any of that because my heart rate came down and all of this great stuff like it's released So yeah, I have learned don't make any calls. Yeah. Don't make any plans after the exercise period Just wait a little bit, but it feels so good. Yeah. Yeah, and that is so I love it. That's great That I love that you have that inspiration though while you're if I ever call you right after a workout just don't listen to me You and I should get married

We should leave our spouses and marry each other. I don't take a woodworking course

And I'm going to build you a house Molly you're going to be the best house you ever saw And then I get to work and your husband's like what the fuck man? Sorry, man. I just had a really good exercise session Where do you get your work drive from like how do you you speak to me directly when you were fresh out of college like is that from your dad or your mom? What was prioritized when I was a kid, but I don't think all of us learned that lesson in my family, but I certainly I don't know. I I

Decided I remember kind of thinking like in fourth grade Like I'm just gonna I didn't know what I was good at I had no idea that I'd be good at anything So I just decided well if I work really hard that'll make up for the fact that I'm not good at anything I remember thinking that and so I just started it's not a cool you started off by saying I feel so cool. I'm not a cool person. I was I just

worked really hard when I was a kid in in a way that Makes me a little sad I'm really worried about stuff. Yeah, and the way I combat it my anxiety was to prepare really hard for things And then that yielded these benefits and then people later on said you're really smart and I thought Work really hard and so but I have I have a work ethic and I

Like to make things and I like to work with people and make things and and so I think that's that's kind of just Part of who I am now. That's great. So notice I think about show business

“I'm like you have to be crazy. It's like I think like you know”

You're from boss and I'm from Cleveland like I just think oh my god, what did I think Coming out here not knowing anybody like you have to be kind of crazy to think that you're gonna come on Let's you know you have it. Don't you think yeah. I mean you really worked and if I were to really have known how much work it would be And what I would have to do and some ourselves and backflips and what was gonna I'm like oh my god. I can't believe I did it. You know no when I look back

Of course I look back now and I can't wait graduated from this really good school and I did well and I was like okay Well, I'm going to LA with my friend Greg we took up people's express flight out there I don't know if you know people's express was like if you had no money you flew people's express You gave them some cash there was no you know it was like flying the credit card on the plane Yeah, it was like flying a barn you can get on a barn and fly

They put wings on a barn and you flew to LA we took a red eye and Greg Daniels who's gone on to create every great show Yeah, he did fine. I got a Greg for loans

“We just had this goofy existence but I the only thing I can say is it was like a salmon swimming up stream”

Yeah, and did you come out you guys least in apartment for a year and just did you take jobs while you were taking comedy class? We did well. We had a we had an entry level job. We had a job at this show It was on cables on HBO back when if you wanted to watch HBO you checked into a hotel or a motel Because no one I knew had HBO Yeah, but we worked on the show called not necessarily the news and we had a sort of an entry level job at that

I took some kooky other jobs So did you come out with just a small amount of money to I love your podcast. This is I like it Did you come out with like $3,000 or did you have a so how much money did you come out with to well? I can't remember what I had I don't I didn't we knew that we had this gig we just said no if it was gonna last

“Okay, so we were on the impression that we were unlike a three week try out. I think we just didn't know”

Yeah, and so we came out very ready to leave immediately or that was what we kind of told ourselves This isn't working we can do something else, but I remember thinking I'm not leaving. That's so great I love that I just want to have a girlfriend

It's the first yeah, and no one would talk to me

Sweet. Well, it's just very sad Let's talk about the hawk because you and will ferro are together. Yes, and again, which is as it should be Will is out there doing all kinds of insane Stunts which I love. This is the will we love to see he's out there 100% committing to being the hawk Who is this down and out aging

PGA golfer yeah And you are his x-wife Mm-hmm, and tell us a little bit about that relationship. I'm kind of frustrated with him because I feel disappointed I'm like of these nutty golfers and you know, I kind of regret I'm like I just don't I'm being very hard on him and and he was great in the past he was great in the past and his glory days

But now I'm like oh god, I'm so sick of your bullshit. You know, I'm really tough And I kind of want to do my own thing and not rely on him and I want to pull myself out of this These world of golfers these crazy Consuming that world. Yeah, that they have they can come pop mentalized things and and but we have a son But yes, so but we really do love one another

We're just kind of in a little rocky period, but we we truly do love one another Deep down and yeah, it's about our relationship our family and we have a son who's a pro golfer And who's really good who's really good. Yes. He's excellent So yes, it was just it's just that whole world and um, yeah, we had a blast shooting it. It was so useful I am just going to imagine that when you two get together for a project it's right back to

Could be the third week at S&L that you're together exactly. It is like that. There's a lot of Tom Fuller eat you canary Yes, yes, yes, yes, Skull Duggery. Yeah, we had one day where we were shooting and there was a little stunt woman who was hired and Her name's Sandy Gimple, but Will said he was like Molly did you see when Sandy was taking a rest on the ground during when we weren't She I was like well, course, I noticed you know she's like flat on the ground sleeping and we noticed the same things that we think are funny

Yeah, you know, it's just it's an absolute joy. We talk about our kids. I'm really close to Will's mom and dad

“Will was really close to my dad. It just feels like family and I'll honestly and Will is so professional”

This is what I always tell people he is the most professional most prepared most thoughtful, you know

Just like he's just the best you better be on your A game because he feral is ready to go See, that's another misconception people would see a will feral or you mall anything Well, they're just wacky and they get together and they're crazy together and then they roll it They don't understand that there's just an immense amount of preparation and professionalism that's required to get to that space And then there can be some improvisation, but that's like the frosting on the cupcake

Yeah, exactly. He's sitting there and he's looking in his uh-huh, and you can look at the scene and go Yeah, we could lose that I guess I could cut that you know, he's looking at the writing very technically and excellent, you know So it is just all those things, but he is there before everyone ready to go and Memorize is really fast too like he'll have these giant scenes around like wow you you you started memorizing that last night That's hard, you know, he's just up a pro yeah, and um so it just feels so fun

It just work it work working with your friend and it's just it's the greatest I I feel like There's no greater joy than when you get to work with people you love it just doesn't even feel like work

“That's truly how I feel. Well, that's how it and you know”

It's so many people in the world have to do a job Yes, that they don't maybe love or have a connection to yeah, and Anyone who gets to do a anything like what we're doing and it's not just in the arts or in comedy or entertainment It's just you know people that really love what they do

That is the ultimate gift. It is the ultimate greatest way to go through life. Yeah, and you should never

I think it's so important to not but to enjoy where you are not be like oh I'm only as good as this last thing It's it's just I try to just enjoy like I'm like if you can't be happy I had a you know When you think about life how precious it is and health. I just think I don't want to live like that anymore

You're good you bad. You're good you bad. It's like I'm not gonna do that anymore

I don't like that this life's too short so what I want to say is yes, it makes you Appreciate I don't like buying into that you're only as good as your last thing

“I think if you do work that is meaningful to you and you love it”

That's all that matters because like I said I've seen people become superstars who feel like they're only as good as their last movie And I'm like I don't want to live like that like if they're like that Well, I should just enjoy my level. Yeah, I am yeah, there isn't do you know what I'm saying? Of course. Well, there's also There's a lot we can't control. Yes, so

If you're quote only as good as your last thing that you did you have very little control over that yeah, you know There've been things I've been involved in that I thought were just the most amazing thing ever and it didn't No one talks me back. It doesn't go anywhere and then there are other things where Everyone just loved it and I don't remember the difference there's just other currents things that happen This is a very this isn't I'll say this you came in with this energy. Okay

This I'm not you're been up being punished. You look very upset. No, you know you can you come with this energy that I'm just gonna call This is gonna sound very LA and crunchy, but you come in with this energy. It's very healing Yeah, and and very positive and I just absolutely Love talking to you

You have always been I mean you you came on my show so many times

Through over the years you would always come on and be just outrageously entertaining But I also knew that you were the highest quality person you really are and so to have you and and you coming in today Just everybody is irradiated in this Molly Shannon glow It's a lovely thing Well, you don't thank you Conan that means so much. Well, I I feel like I could almost get choked up

You know that I feel the same way about you and I remember two years ago You were so nice Conan's exactly the same all the time like you treat everyone with respecting kindness And you make everyone feel good you have that ability that gift you were that way with my father But I wanted to say to that If I get fucked up about comedy you're thinking too much about competition or sure everybody has it

I just think when I really want to get back to be grounded

“I think really I do it to make people feel good like I like what people feel happier like I love that”

That is really all it's about you won't get fucked up. It's a it's I'm an entertainer It is a giving it is do you know what I'm saying yeah, and you think about it that way like a service almost Then you're not going to be so self-centered about it. Does that make sense? Yes, and I want to enjoy my life on earth as an artist not be like You know, I don't want to be that way Competitive or you know what I mean exactly. I do know you mean

But I still want others to fail You know saying I want people who aren't me in comedy to fail. Oh Wait, is that not we that is the complete update? I agreed with a molly said and all I'm adding is No, no, no, no, I want others to fail. I know you miss the point completely I want to do better be not because of my own abilities

I want them to fail so that I rise I know still still completely okay. What if I can't be very much at the same thing Continuous and getting back to the Irish things yeah because my Irish thing was that my dad could be tough You know this and that my mom died when I was little so much of me getting into it was a bit of a painful thing Like my dad really would have loved to have been an actor my mom died

I thought well if I get famous enough I'll bring my mom back from the dead. It was very sad

“Yeah, and I still have to ask myself. Do you really still want to do this? Is this really you? Do you do you?”

You know, I really have to check in with that, you know But that's my point going back to the Irish stuff of it was has some dark stuff You know what I mean really dark, but also of course. I do. Yes. There's also the Am I doing this because on some way I'm not well like what's the whole wanting to make everyone laugh? Is there a unhealthy part of this is there a part of this which is

Revenge like I can make everyone happy because maybe some people weren't happy And now I'll make everyone happy and is this unhealthy and if you get healthy does that mean you can't do this anymore? All the dark stuff. I had it. I just got my star on the Hollywood walk a theme and I said congratulations And we'll give you a speech that's right but I was gonna say I get very shy when people have to show up for me Yeah, it's me shy. I can go be a celebrity by myself

Alone, but if people have to come for me, I get like oh god, I'm gonna disappoint you or even at SNL

Will would always bring tons of friends to the show. He'd have like us, you know, he has so many friends and yeah

I was always like I would prefer strangers because I felt like if a friend's gonna come They're gonna get disappointed and they're gonna want to leave this is me

If there's a thing where people which hasn't happened a lot but something like the twain award

“Where people come for a Conan O'Brien. I was mortified really mortified that like people”

I don't want people to have to get another flying in they're flying in No, and they're gonna prepare stuff they have to prepare stuff and I had done it for other people And felt fine doing that because I loved the people I was showing up for yeah, but I couldn't see at the other way So I was kind of mortified and then

Everything you're saying I always when I was doing the late night show or any show and people were like yeah, I guess what your friends

I'm like no, what do you mean they're here? No, now the show has to really be good Because if it's a stranger, it's like there's nothing Yeah, yeah When I would do SNL if I did invite a friend I have to give them a list of rules

I was like don't you know because they'd be like more Molly and I was like, oh my god

Like really don't People aren't what you're just gonna make me feel bad. Yeah, so I had to I had like a list of rules like say that you can't say this like I already I'm hard on myself like so no more more Molly in the show. It's like love Maybe it is Occasionally there's an etiquette when you come off a show I know

“First of all you're always gonna be great, but no matter what oh my god, great show Molly that's what you do”

And that's what you would say to me if I came off stage. I love people that come up and go how do you think it went Yeah, how do you think it went? I don't know how do you think it went? I'm just curious what you thought Oh, well, I guess I should get out of the business. All right. We have to wrap this up But Molly I adore you. I love you. You're so great and you live in this neighborhood So can we get lunch? Wouldn't that be nice? Let's be lunch sometimes. It will be very

serious No, no, no, no, no, no No bitch. No bitch. It's like a no shoes. No shirt. No service. No. No bitch.

“I think I can do it deadly serious. So it's going to be my dinner with Molly like my dinner with”

on it. It's going to be the same thing like serious. All right. This was joy, a pleasure. You I love this office cone. What could be better? I don't love you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Molly shed a day's of fun day. I've tried to start shit up, you know, start saying I've said shit about you to try and get to stuff out there and it doesn't take. No, no, no. No one people. I'm just like, no, no. He talks so much shit about it. And it doesn't take. It won't take. I'm going to try again later today. Yeah. Good luck. All right. Yeah. Yeah. My assistant David Hopping has

entered the room and you have an announcement to make. You said yes. So I do not know what this is by the way. Oh, you're, I think I think you're going to like it. So everyone you're just called everyone's in a while. He says the test or back in your hilarious. No. Okay. So everyone's in a while. I will get tagged in different TikToks about cone in and last night I opened up TikTok and I had like a bunch of notifications. So I clicked it. And we all know toy story five just came out. You play smarty fans. There's an entire side of TikTok that find themselves attracted to smarty pants. And it's not like just a few. These videos have like over a hundred thousand likes each and all the comments are about how weird it is to be attracted to a

potty training toy. And I sent Eduardo some of them to pull up to show you. I was tricked into a couple levels too. Hold on. Oh, God. It's this, it says hear me out. 148,000 likes on that video. Oh, yeah. God. Excuse me. Is it not a curney with it? Maybe this was my intention when I brought this character to life. No kid. Yeah. Well, walk us through your process. Well, I have a lot of riz. I think it's what the kids say is that right. So no. I don't know. I'm not well. Yeah. Well, this is this so gross industry. This is like I didn't see this one coming. No, you can say I tried it. You can say I tried for a second to go with it. Yeah. Yeah. And then I realized I can't. Oh, there we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Oh, God. No, the internet needs to. Yeah. Um, I know you're not supposed to kink shame, but shame on you. Yeah. No. Yeah. You can for this. We can kink shame. Really? This is pink shameable. Yeah. This is kink shameable. You are a potty training toy in a children's movie. And people are like, what are like, what are we doing? Like, there's so many hot cartoon characters out there.

Sexual, uh, let's hear who they are off the top of my head. I mean, this is not in a cartoon about recently I was reading a comic book. And I was like, when did Superman get like this hot? Like, there's been a lot of illustrated characters. I have responded to yes. I can't think of it, but not fucking smarty pants. Not that. That is ridiculous. I'm sorry. You can't see it. What about though? There's a section where smarty pants has my hair. You know, it's a dream sequence. A fantasy sequence. Are you asking me if them adding one of your characteristics makes it more attractive to me? That's my course. Yes. Yes, Senator. That is my question. The answer is a hard note. And it's, uh, it's even the general number of animals.

Well, you know, my time. And I also asked for a weapon to kill myself. And it doesn't usually happen in a Senate subcommittee hearing. No, but if there's a weapon present, I will use it. We'll go into a warm bath arrested. No, this is weird. Okay. So, no, David, give us your thoughts. Cause, you know, you discovered this. I was shocked whenever I clicked. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, uh, I don't know what to say. The world is not well. No, I mean, there's hot cartoon characters. Again, you keep saying that.

“Okay, I think we can all agree. Jessica Rabbit is a hot broad. That's true. Right. And then, like, even me, and I think that there's hot cartoon characters.”

Oh, yeah. No, I want to bang her. But I'm saying, there's hot cartoon characters. You are a part of it. Who's another hot cartoon character? David, you're probably thinking of someone. Uh, and any of the, like.

Well, I've never got to tell a story. Now we're going to take a look into your psyche.

Oh, I got a tour. So far. Like, he man can get it. He man. Yeah. He can get it. Sure. Yeah. Are you saying, yes, please, he. He man, fucks. Yeah. He man, fucks. Yes. What's more fun?

Skeletor doesn't fuck. Yeah. Jared let's play Skeletor. He talks unfortunately. Skeletor is DTF. Yeah. Yeah. He bones. He bones. There you go. Nice. Nicely done. Nicely done. No, I remember my friend had a thing for Gambit from Xman. That, like, he's hot.

That's a cartoon character. Yes, for mexman, Gambit. But I just, I, this, this, this is one of those things where you're, like, people don't need to post everything on internet.

That's, that's not human.

Is it machine? He's for kids. He, is he kind of a child, like,

“Well, I think he has many of my qualities. So yeah, probably a little bit childlike.”

Just a little bit. I would do Woody before I did smarty pants. I think. I think. Oh, no. Buzz Lightyear for sure can get. Oh, I know. Is that a van? Well, you know, you can get him if you just go to the store. I only know. We're raking the story. Oh, I know. Is that a minivan packed with Disney lawyers. Is driving from Anaheim to this podcast studio right now at a hundred and ten miles an hour.

Absolutely. And you know what? Anyone who goes to see Toy Story five, the day after this comes out. Yeah. He's going to see just pixels where I used to be. Yes. And a burn mark on this cream. I think that's for the best. We lost any chance of you being a sex one.

Actually, anybody that goes to see the movie is going to be put on a sex offender list.

Yeah, right out. And has to go door to door and their neighborhood. No, they're going to stop to film the minute. My character's about to come up and go. All right, you perverts. We got to clear out. Clear out. Clear out.

Clear out. Oh, God. Oh, my God. No, even, even wally before Smearney pants. Okay. Can I say what?

Now you're just being mean. No, I'm not wally. Yeah. Wally is like sentient. And he got e.

And sent you all the power. Yes, no, he got he landed e. There's like a thing to him. There's a, there's a sensitive. You know what, I mean it's nothing about your character.

That's just what he's talking about. I'm, I'm adorable. I mean, you're talking about pee pee and poop almost at the time. You're a lot of your humor is like pee pee. People piss him on you.

[laughter] I saw what the character was when I said, oh, you want the sona. That's why this is happening. Those people up there putting this up are into some weird shit. [laughter]

Well, listen.

“Uh, I think the only way to decide this matter is for everyone.”

To go see Toy Story 5. And there is now. [laughter] I guess what? The van just turned around.

The van just turned around. [laughter]

And it's headed back to the magic castle.

Oh my god. Uh, alright. Uh, peace out. [music playing]

Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

With Conan O'Brien, sona Mufsessian, and Mac Corley. Produced by me, Mac Corley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs. Jeff Ross and Nick Leow.

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