Please Continue (Criminal+)

Today we're sharing the latest episode of Criminal Plus with all of you.

This is the show I make along with criminal co-creator Lauren Spore, and it's pretty different from criminal, as you'll hear a new lesson. We talk about everything from our favorite items at Costco, to short stories, to moisturizer. Lauren hates when I say that, but it's true. There's some exciting announcements in this episode, so we decided that we wanted to share

“it with all of you, and if you want to keep listening to more of these types of episodes,”

you can get them by becoming a criminal plus member. Sign up at patreon.com/criminal. We're trying to get a thousand new members by the end of September. Thanks for helping us get there. Now, here's the show.

Welcome to... Welcome to Criminal Plus. I'm Phoebe Chad. I'm Lauren Spore. Live.

I'm not going to talk about that story, though, that you have going on over there.

Welcome to Criminal Plus. Here we are. Lauren and I are sitting next to each other. In my studio, it's pouring rain outside, it has been for two days, but we've pulled in a dining room chair, and we've got you all set up, Lauren.

How does it feel? It's really great. What a great space you have. You've been here once before, but... I remember we recorded an episode in here, and I quoted from a Franco Herapom, and then

I was embarrassed, and then it worked out because the file was unusable, and some other technical way. So, I was saved. But now, you're here. I'm here.

You're looking exactly... This is what I look at all the time. Great. Lauren has been here visiting me for the past week. We've had some peaks and valleys.

We've had some good weather, and we've had some bad weather. But Lauren, overall, what do you think? How's it? So this morning, we were in a pond of freezing, raining, we did it. We went to a hidden pond this morning at 7.45.

We had to move a fallen down tree that was blocking the dirt road path. We pushed it out of the way, and had a great swim this morning. We've been trying to swim every day, and, you know, Lauren, overall, a great trip. You drove here. Well, I drove. I'm on an east, my partner and I are on an east coast road trip.

Stopping in Washington, D.C., New York City. Yes. And now, you're here visiting me and Massachusetts. Well, I just really want to talk about what I want to talk about. I didn't want to talk about this on Saturday when you got here, and I was Thursday.

I, one time recently, Phoebe said to me, "Can you imagine sitting down on a public restroom toilet seat?" And I thought to myself, "Yes." And then, because I've been at so many rest stops during the driving trip, I did the research.

“And I just thought Phoebe, "You should know," and the listeners should know, that it”

is perfectly fine to sit down. Use your eyes and make sure it's clean, but it's perfectly fine to sit down. And here's this, "Lining the toilet seat with toilet paper does nothing. The toilet paper is porous. It does not help you."

If you're covering, it's not good for your body. Don't hover. If you'd like to wipe the seat, do it with something that you bring, like a sanitizing wipe, but the quote from the expert in the BBC is that the risk of contracting any kind of disease from sitting down is "vanishingly low."

Okay. We can get that part over with. But there are risks to be had in a public restroom. Number one, don't touch the flush handle with your hand. I never do anything.

Don't touch the door handle. Don't touch. The risk is everything your hand touches, which I thought was pretty interesting. And that hand sanitizer isn't good enough in a lot of cases. So using toilet paper to open and close a door handle, or turn on or off a faucet, might

be worth it. And when you're home, or at a guest's house, or at a place that has a lid, it's imperative that you close the lid before you flush. And don't bring your phone into the bathroom under any circumstances. Your phone is disgusting.

All right. Are we done without talking? Yeah. I mean, I think that that would be surprising to a lot of people, and I think it was surprising to you.

“What do you see as embarrassing, I think, could be public service?”

We're a little delayed in taping today, because I was having an interview earlier today with a man, this is for an episode of love, and I was having a wonderful conversation with him. And I got a text message, about 45 minutes into the interview, the phone, and I don't usually have my phone.

I mean, I'm not on my phone, but my phone was kind of by right here, right here, by the desk. And it kept going off from Sarah inside, multiple. And I said, well, I have to just look and see what's going on. It was all capitals, basement is flooding, not is flooded, is flooding active.

And I thought, first off, you know, well, there's so many things plugged, and you were just

what about electricity, you know, electrocution.

“And so I said, what do we do in the middle of the interview?”

I didn't know what to do, and then all of a sudden, middle of the interview, internet out, completely out, gone, done, lean a cellosin, I couldn't even tell lean a cellosin because the Wi-Fi that, you know, I was gone. So I go downstairs, there is water up to my knee, and we don't know what to do, and I'm thinking about electricity.

This just happened two hours ago, two hours, we were supposed to have lunch together, but I was in the basement. And there is something that we have that I did not know we have. Do you know what this word is when I say it to you? Shop back.

No. What? Sump pump. Yes. I have one, too.

We had a sump pump. God knows how.

We had a sump pump, and we got that thing rigged up, and what happened is our water tank

exploded, just rushing water, completely out. It's fixed now, you know, nice to have very good neighbors to help, but I've been with a broom for the past two hours, just pushing disgusting dirty water from the basement. It cords the sump pump, and the basement is now drying. And it's freezing cold.

And my toes broken. And you have another injury. Oh, yes.

“Well, here's the thing, you know, for me, Lauren feels differently.”

For me, in the summer, I don't wear shoes often, and I had a problem 10 days ago. I was running through the sand with no shoes on, and I was going very quickly, 42-year-old woman sprinting through the sand, and I hit with my toe, a root, a stump. And underneath the sand. And I immediately knew something very bad had happened, a confirmed, a very broken.

And for someone like me, it's hard to have that going on, because I don't know what to do. I don't know how, you know, it's hard to not be active. And it's hard to wear shoes, you know, because in the summer, but in the summer, that's what happens. You have scratches, you have broken toes, you things just happen, you're outside a lot.

You are now kind of experienced, you've been here for a week, and you've gotten yourself a little beat up in just a week's time. I have a lot of bug bites, a lot. She's massive welts on her legs from bugs, but you know what, it's summer. I will say that it's been a week with no air conditioning for me now, and I think my skin

looks better. And isn't it nice to have the wind come in? Oh yeah, nice. It's great. They're blowing rain with something different, but you've also eaten some pretty interesting

food, and I've been introducing you to new things here. Like what? You're having one right now. Oh yes, orange dry. This is a wonderful drink, it's polar, they make shelter, and they also make a drink.

You can get it here in Massachusetts, called polar dry, this is the diet. Your review? It tastes great, tastes like orange soda, completely. It says on the can that prohibition made polar beverages dry, but it was boss Crowley who made it sparkle.

Over a hundred years later, you can still enjoy the same great taste, so poll, what did polar use to not be?

“I think polar, I think a lot of companies that maybe made beer or other things became”

dirty. It's like they couldn't make beer, so what were they going to make? They had to make soda pops. I'm just told me that the rates of alcohol consumption are the lowest they've been since prohibition.

I think drinking's out. It's my niece went to a bonfire the other night, and in the old days, I think you would be concerned about a teenager, you might say, don't drink anything. You know, you might say, if anyone's drinking anything, make sure you don't have anything to drink, but it's like, no, no, kids don't really, smoking is back drinking is out.

I did hear about someone who is addicted to cratum, it's a cratum, I'm not sure, but it's legal. Is it like a synthetic marijuana? Yeah, I don't think it's synthetic, I don't actually know, but there's other things out there.

I'm looking to my left, and all I see is a list that Lauren has, that I have, I have no idea what all of these words mean, but would you like to tell me what you've got going on everything? Well, I want to, I thought we should talk about the eBay stalking story if you were at it?

No. Big news in the eBay stalking story. I don't even know what is the eBay stalking story. Well, I would love to tell you, and I think we should also think about it as a TV show and cast it.

But basically, to e-commerce bloggers, Ina, and David Steiner in the state of Massachusetts,

they have a long running blog, and they started off just doing general e-commerce news, and then over time their blog became more focused to help people who are selling things on eBay, specifically. And so they would blog about changes to eBay's policies, and then often they would critique changes to eBay's policies, and eBay, including, I think at one point, publishing that

they managed to get under the skin of the CEO of eBay, and he texted another executive

about Ina Steiner, take her down.

“And so then the executive who received this text message that said, take her down, went to”

the head of security at eBay, and me reading the story, I'm like, oh, and they're going to bust the CEO for being inappropriate. No, the head of security then is like being the muscle, like being the bad guy, and they start this harassment campaign against the Steiner's, and being eBay, a lot of the harassment comes in the form of mailing packages to them, so they mail them live cockroaches,

live spiders, with the higher-ups at eBay, or yes, are harassing these e-commerce bloggers. And so they mail them a bloody pig mask, a funeral wreath, huge amounts of pizza. They send porn with the man's name on it to neighbors' houses, and then they also start harassing them in person. eBay employees flew from California to Boston so that they could physically vandalize

the couple's house, and stalked their car, and they were documented plans to break into

their garage and put a GPS tracker on their car.

And then there's all these text messages like saying that the Steiner, that Ina Steiner, the woman is a bias troll who needs to be burned down, and that they wanted to quote, quote, to see ashes, and that they should do whatever it takes. And then this is my favorite part. It culminated in what they called a white-night strategy, which would mean another eBay

employee comes forward and goes to the Steiner's and says, let me help you figure out who's doing this to you. So eBay could in the end be the good guy, and when they're good will, and quote unquote unmask the person who was harassing them. Can you just see it as a movie?

Anyway, there were a number of arrests. People did go to prison. And when was this?

“I think it started in 2019, but then the Steiner's filed a civil lawsuit against eBay,”

and that was finally reached the settlement last week.

In the end, the Steiner's got $56 million.

That's not bad. Isn't that just a crazy story? I just can't believe that who was the, who was the big wig, who was directing the employees to do this? Who might have told you his name?

No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying that. Yeah, and just to like, to care enough, to become so petty. You and I have also been talking about the story here about the man who built, bought the house on the cliff.

A man bought a house on a cliff, very close to the ocean to the bay, that is eroding. The sand, there's a lot of erosion going on. And so he bought this house. It was very close to the water to the cliff. And people said, it's really close, you had to go deal on it, but it's really close,

and it's going to keep eroding. And so, you know, last year or something, the town came and said, "We have to demolish your house." It's no longer safe. The foundation is now so close to the edge, we've got to demolish your house.

House gets demolished. He still has a mortgage on his house. He is now refusing to pay the mortgage, saying he does not have to pay the mortgage, because he was in a manic state, clearly he was in a manic state, suffering to purchase a house that was so obviously unsafe and close to a cliff.

Do you think that that's a argument? Did it work? I don't know, I didn't get that for, didn't you, aren't you the one or something in the article? No, you didn't.

I don't remember. I'm doing a lot of hitting sand.

“I think, well, the question is not, is it real?”

It's didn't work. That's right, did it work? I don't know, we could Google it. I think Tom Cruise should play the CEO, with the delicate, the eBay CEO, with delicate ego.

Did you see Tom Cruise at the World Cup half time show or intro to the World Cup, the final? No, I only saw a few celebrity photos from the World Cup. He was in this outfit, this kind of black pants, clearly with custom black t-shirt, it was very, very interesting choice.

Two things about Tom Cruise really stand out for me. One, this is not fact checked. Before he was famous and got his teeth fixed, he had one middle tooth, like one of his two front teeth was perfectly in the center. Do you know what I mean?

Where was he in the picture of it? Just look at a picture right now. And then the other thing is I just saw that his daughter just changed her name. Took the crop to the cruise. All these celebrity kids are dropping, like Brad Pitt's kids dropped, Tom Cruise teeth.

No, that's when he had braces, oh this, yes, oh no, that's not even any there. I thought it's gotta be it, Lauren. What else could it be?

“That's like an advertising photo for a dental clinic in Turkey.”

Tom Cruise middle front tooth, what I'm searching for. Yeah, see you look, dead center, oh I see, don't look at my teeth now. Do you or a celebrity with T3 done? I think I wouldn't. Do you think I need to?

I think they all do. Vineurs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, someone who tries to say away from the dentists as much as possible, I don't think

I would choose to go and if I didn't need to. I was seeing him at that other day when you were making fun of me for my neuroses and then I was thinking that it was kind of elegant of me to not bring up the dentist in that moment. What was the neuroses about the other day?

Private? What was that actually? Is that the boundaries with your gigantic dog? So Lauren and I, we've been here all week, we've been swimming, we've had ice cream. We've, what else have we done?

Swimming ice cream, a little bit of shopping, cooking. But when we haven't been doing that, we've been working together, mostly on the screened in porch, on a new project. Well, what would you say about it, Lauren? I don't, we're, we're, we're working, it feels really good to be experimenting.

It is a sort of live event where it would just be Phoebe and instead of telling crime stories

like we normally do, like if you've never been to a live show, it's usually like six or

seven visual heavy stories that have not been on the podcast before, and we try to make it move really fast and we're conscious of what it means to sort of be at a podcast listening event. But over the years, we've experimented more and more with putting more personal stuff from Phoebe in there, and so we're thinking like what if it was just Phoebe telling some

stories from her life that we have definitely never shared before, but not only that, but sort of talking about how those experiences from her life have influenced her as the host of a crime show. Does that do it? Yeah.

So that's like a really weird new thing for us, and I feel like I've had unfavorable opinions in the past about podcast hosts who make things about themselves and their reflections, and so we're trying to think how can we do this very well, so that it feels really worth someone's time and attention. And it's not easy.

“And then you need to feel comfortable, you know?”

How are you feeling? Do you think everything about it in the middle of the night?

I am thinking about it in the middle of the night, and wondering, but it's never stopped

us before doing something new, and so we're trying something new, but it is very different for us. It's very different for us because the whole point of the, remember, we started criminal. The whole idea was let's have a show where the host gets out of the way, you know, it doesn't have to comment, doesn't have to, oh, that reminds me of the time.

Let me tell you what I think. This is very different, you know, with personal, so, but funny, Lauren keeps saying we need to find friendly audience. Lauren, I don't want you to be nervous, so I think of audiences really, even with regular live shows, if the audience is stiff, you're stiff, and if the audience has drunk, you're

happy. So that's what we need.

“Yeah, I mean, I think that people have nightmares about this.”

People have nightmares about standing on the stage and telling a joke and no one laughs, and

you're in the past, and live shows, you've been up there, you know, and so you're always

laugh. You're always smiling, but we, but, you know, we were able to, you know, be able to look, you know, yes, it's just me talking, but I'm able to look at you and I'm worth these or telling other people's stories, so the idea of being up there all alone and telling my own stories is, yeah, I mean, it's pretty, well, we can, well, we'll, we'll come up

with some parachutes, so that if the audience hates it, you can just like pull the, and then you can just start telling fully canned Rodney Dangerfield jokes, and put them up on a television room. Or we can just like cut out and put something on the screen behind you, like America's funniest one videos, and you can just run away.

Don't know if we did the live show, and we had the very long video of Mark Rodgers, the streaker in the Super Bowl, and it was just like so long, people to wait so long to see what was going to happen. Yeah, we will let you know, we are finalizing it all right now, and we'll let you know when the tickets are on sale and where we're going to go all around the country.

I've been asking you if you need to watch different stand-up specials that I love to sort

then lots of little side stories spun in.

Why I'm just going to remember what you've always said, the greatest compliment you've

ever given me. Mistakes are charming. No. To go to diving. I'm very good diver and go to animal photography.

Yeah, the three best compliments you ever given me. Diving animal photography and your favorite. I'm your favorite. And to a lot as I've ever had, are you doing it to be funny? Yeah.

Well, can you do this? It's not necessarily a compliment when I say you're my favorite storyteller. You are my favorite storyteller of all time, and I think these stories are going to be surprising.

“Anyway, so that's what we've been working on.”

We've been here, bumming around, doing all the work for criminal and all the other shows,

but also in our free time, we've been trying to write this show. Do you think it's harder to record this, setting together than it is normally? I think it's actually fun. What do you think? I feel like it's more stiff.

Well, I'm very uncomfortable. Well, that chair isn't like me. And also, I'm looking at you on a screen, even though you're right next to me. Would you like Swiss chairs? No.

You've got shorter legs than me, so it's a, I can't help too much. I also have a broken toe. I've got a very nice voice novel from someone named Gary. Can I play it for you? I'm a long time listener, love you, show.

I'm going back and listening to the old ones and working my way back to current again. And I'm on bonus number three, the other Phoebe judge, and I'm from New England. And I was shocked by Phoebe's dislike of the fall.

“I think every New Englander loves it, knowing she's from Western Mass, even more so.”

So it was just a comment that took me just like it took Lauren a back when she mentioned the thumbnail time of year. I really got a chuckle out of that when Phoebe was asking or not to call it that. But just the comment, no reply needed, but I love you, show both of us. Thanks so much.

Bye. No, I just like the sound of his voice. That's real New England accent. That's real Massachusetts. I liked it.

I liked it. That's a real Massachusetts accent. And I was thinking about that because it is freezing cold here today. Well, we don't think it was late October. Well, we are now, we are firmly in the middle of summer.

But I kept telling you that, when you were, I've been up here and I was saying it's cold, you don't need air conditioning. And you've been here before.

“So this wasn't, you know, I was freaking out about not having air conditioning and it's been”

very cold. You're perfectly fine. Oh, should we need to talk about George Saunders? Oh, okay. Time for the latest installment of Reading Club.

We read a very short story, very very short story by George Saunders called Sticks, called Sticks. We've had the link in the Patreon, but if you Google it, you'll find that it's extremely short. I really enjoyed it.

Did you read it? Yes. Of course I read it. And well, it's a real Phoebe judge type of story. Why?

I loved it. I loved it. And as someone, as you know, Lauren was here yesterday, as I unveiled my newest flag, came yesterday, I got a new custom flag for my sister Chloe for CHJ for the fly on the pole. I loved hearing about the different outfits for the different types of occasions.

I loved the different stick families, you know, around the crosses and I loved that. On the Patreon, Criminal Plus Reading Club channel, Katherine, shared with everyone that if you like that story, George Saunders has a reading his own reading club on Substack, if anyone's interested. So that's the type of community that we're building there.

Chris said, "Amazing as a gifted writer, can paint such a vivid story with so few words.

I totally agree." Helen says, "I drive by a farm every week and where the road curves sharply and the farmer has a mannequin out that he dresses up right on the curve to keep people from speeding." She's very seasonal, which is out for Halloween, Yankees Jersey for opening day, red and white and blue stars and stripes for independence day.

This weekend, she was back in her sand to suit for Christmas in July, makes me smile every time and slow down. Katherine said, "It was so evocative." Another Katherine said, "I love the author's explanation of how the story came to be.

As someone with a frankly unhinged Christmas display each year, I wonder what folks imagined about me when they drive by. Did you read the description of the bottom of how?" Oh, I was just going to read it. Okay.

It's a man, a kind of a gruff man, who dresses up these sticks in this front yard, depending

“on the holidays, depending on how he's feeling, and it kind of gets more deranged and”

odd or as years go by, and when George Saunders published a piece in the contributors notes

in story magazine, where it first came out, he said, "For two years, I'd been driving

past a house like the one in the story, imagining the owner as a man, more joyful and self-possessed and less self-conscious than myself. Then one day I got sick of him and invented his opposite, and there was the story." So good. So if you haven't read it yet, please go and read sticks by George Saunders.

It will take you two and a half minutes, and you will be very, very happy. You did, and you'll be thinking about it all day. I was. We've been trying to get him to come on. This is love for years and talk about his, how he met his wife.

I love to that, the swim in the pond, the ration in the rain, that's fantastic. I thought about that book this morning as we drove to the swim in the pond in the rain. There's nothing better than swimming in the pond in the rain. I'm not going to lie, I was really having an internal tantrum on the way there. It wasn't internal as extra.

It was really cold, and I just was like, it was like 8 a.m. I was freezing cold, and I just was like, if nothing, there's nothing cowardly about wanting to be warm.

“That's what I was thinking about myself.”

And then when we got in the pond, I was like, "Oh, right, then God, I didn't mess out."

You never forget a swim or a run.

Who told you this? Who told you this? My mantra for life? Never. Where did it come from?

From my head, Lauren. It's a Phoebe Judge original. My whole life. I've stayed true to that. Never regret a swim or a run.

So Lauren, we are here together in person, so we're announcing big news. We're announcing that we're working on this new live show, that's pretty big news. The other pretty big news is that finally we have decided to change the name of this show. When we started criminal plus, it was criminal plus, and you got, you know, you got lots of things.

You get ad-free listening, you get the live events, you get the chat rooms on Patreon, and you got this other show, which we just called criminal plus, because it was the chat show in criminal plus. But it doesn't really make that much sense. I mean, so we, or internally, have said, oh, we've got a record plus, but it's a little confusing,

because there's this thing called criminal plus, but then there's this Lauren and Phoebe Show, which is also called criminal plus. And they know, because we've asked for there. Yeah. Input.

And sometimes, when people say, sometimes people refer to the C+ episodes, which I always think

is very funny. That's good C+. Isn't it? You know, we thought about the sides, you know, because this really is an, any of you listened to this show, no sort of pretty much as a bunch of the sides.

But that didn't really seem exactly right either. And then, listeners, you know, right in to us often, thank you for doing it, please keep

“writing in with all of your compliments, comments, complaints, and said, I think it's very”

funny when Lauren interrupts Phoebe or says something, after Phoebe has said something. And Phoebe doesn't respond. Am I saying this correctly? I think it's like, if I'm laughing, and then you'll say, why you're laughing, or you get annoyed, or something similar, and then I say, please continue.

So we've decided to call criminal plus, same show, here we are, but we're going to start calling this show. Please continue. That's it. We're going to have a new tile for it. It's going to be, well, it's a picture of us. A tile. That's not like a term everyone uses. What do you call it? A logo, logo, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little,

a little. This is, this is the words that came in my head. I pod art. And we're going to just start calling this, um, well, so what would you say, I'm Phoebe Judge? Oh, no, we have to redo the beginning. No, for all, let's just try it up. Just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm so nervous. I'm Phoebe Judge. I'm Lauren Spore. Please continue. It's not how it's got to be. I'm Phoebe Judge. I'm Lauren Spore. Lauren, yes? Please continue. You're trying to make it into like a thing. No, a thing, it's just like, I'm Phoebe Judge. This is

criminal. I'm Phoebe Judge. This is criminal. I'm Phoebe Judge. And this is love. I'm Phoebe Judge. This is, just watering your plants practicing. I'm Phoebe Judge. This is criminal. I'm Phoebe Judge.

Doesn't work. I think you need to say, like, welcome to please continue. Okay. Or this is please continue. You're listening to please continue. Where the hosts of? Or we could make a little, like, um, we could make a little intro. I'm Phoebe Judge. I'm Lauren Spore. And this is please continue.

That works. Okay. First time we just tried it out. First time ever. It has a little bit of

the, like, SNL. Like, when they make fun of public radio. Yeah. It has a little bit of that.

“Well, this could be a certain amount of life skip. Do you think I think this could be a”

certain amount of life skip about those two? But we just have, like, a, like, a, we get, like, someone to make one that's like, pup, pup, pup, pup, please continue. You know, that's, like, a digital, like, the way that cartoon has an intro. And then we don't have to say it. What, like, beatbox? Well, you know, just, like, a, like, a produced, a little produced intro. Let us know what you think about the name. It's going to be, well, it's pretty much set. So let

us know your compliments about the new name. It's, it's please continue. What is Fraser say? I'm listening. I'm Dr. Fraser Crane. No, I'm listening as, like, his tagline. This is, this is, I'm Phoebe Judge. I'm Lauren Spore. This is please continue. Do I go? And then do you want to say, like, a podcast about, what is it about? Another idea we had was to make it, sort of about it in a

“pocket, make the title about the word. It's involving the word apocalypse, referring not only to a”

real apocalypse, but to a private personal apocalypse. It's, it's how to prepare for real apocalypse, personal apocalypse. The apocalypse of every day. Mental apocalypse, just, uh, your one stop shop for advice on how to flee from the tsunami, how to flee from cancer thoughts at 4 a.m. How to break up with your therapist, protect yourself from, uh, aging, the apocalypse of aging. You know, you'll get your recommendations right here about what moisturizers we're using.

Song could be apocalypse, so apocalypse now. What about that, you know, the apocalypse now that,

famous. Yes. And then you just come flying at you like, uh, first aid kits, moisturizers,

vitamins, lasers, airplanes, speaking of laser Phoebe. Pills. Your laser journey isn't working. I'm proud of you. Why? Because you didn't want to talk about it for a long time, and now you're having, you've had some laser treatments, and it's like made a huge difference in your redness. The way that you are concerned about my redness and health benefits. The first time I tried to talk to you about your red face was when we were in Iceland interviewing the Prime Minister. How long

I was that? No, well, that was when we were in the TV. We actually, I really actually want to talk to you as your friend about your face. It's very, very red, and you were offended. And it's so just took a really long time for you to be open to taking action. Well, I am going back in, uh, two weeks to have another round. I thought you might be going to Iceland,

“and I was like, say more. Lauren, should we do some things of an enjoying lately in person?”

Yes, anything you've been enjoying this week with me that you've been introduced to. Orange dry. Yeah, we are, you can use that one if you want. Something about being here, maybe because we've been outside so much. I've been so thirsty that getting little drinks and teas has felt like an extra special treat to me. You know, that sort of desperate feeling you can get sometimes when you're away from home for a long

time, where you're just like, I'm so thirsty. I mean, do so many bottles of water constantly around me. Something I've really been enjoying lately is soft surf. And I had already read that soft surf was taking over New York City. I had already heard that the hot trend is frozen Greek yogurt. Who ever had that? No. But I didn't have any of that, but I did see a lot of it in New York. And so, and I also heard that soft surf is the new Meetup for Drink After Work.

And so, I went, I had soft surf on the upper side at Butterfield Market. I waited in a super long line to get it. It was very expensive. I got coffee, soft surf, with no toppings. That would be proud of that. Actually, that's not true. It had Oreo cookies, I forgot. But the way they do it is they do some soft surf toppings and then more soft surf on top. So, you don't see the toppings. So, you look like you kept it together, even though you do have

hidden toppings. It was great. And then I had more coffee soft surf today.

And it's wonderful. The first thing that I've been enjoying lately, which is a really

odd thing for me to say, but this came into my house last week. And it's a Trader Joe's product that I had not heard about. And when I saw it in their refrigerator, my niece requested this.

They make something called protein pancakes. It's 22. They're pre-made from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I've already been down this year. Yeah, in this little staff. Yeah, it's more like a crate with an pancake. And I thought, but I, we didn't have anything here. I heated, we don't have a microwave here. So, everything goes in the oven. I heated it up. And I wasn't expecting to like them at all. Fantastic. Fantastic. Protein, they come in like five. So, eat the whole pack. You heat them up. You could have it with Greek yogurt and berries, which I've been doing. And it's

it's a wonderful treat. Frozen, not, refrigerator section and Trader Joe's protein pancakes. And apparently they're, they're, they're sell out a lot. So, if you find them, buy yourself a few packs. I think they're probably about $3 a pack. I'm ready to do the Trader Joe's episode, 'cause I've actually been going. I know what we do. Let's do it. And some of the things I've been getting have not been very good. And the disappointment is noticeable. Like my expectations

for Trader Joe's apparently are very high. Because when something's just fine, I feel pretty disappointed. So, we should go. I, I thought about your niece's interest in protein. So, I almost

bought her a protein drink. Proteins, it's basically protein, seltzer. Have you seen this?

I have. And it had 200 milligrams of caffeine. That's the problem. And I was like, well, I'm not going to buy this for an adolescent, but like, yeah, just that's, so not only are we putting protein in the seltzer, but we're putting 200 milligrams of caffeine. What's the mayo we've been enjoying?

“I think that's as far as I got. Oh, good. This is on the floor. How about fresh-picked blueberries?”

That's pretty good. It's blueberry season here. And while blueberries, and if you're lucky, you have a neighbor or someone who has blueberry bushes and lots of them. And they invite you to come and pick blueberries, which we're lucky enough to have. So, we have been picking a lot of blueberries. And you came to the house the other day. And there was a gigantic jug of wild blueberries that had just been picked. And they are very different. Yeah, they're very, they're very small.

But they're wonderful. And you have been rather cautiously about eating berries and such

because I eat a salad today. That's the first salad of eating. No, no, no, no. I remember I made

you one member of the first thing that you were here, I made the all out of my garden, the tomatoes, and the cucumbers, and the beans, all from my garden. Yeah, that was beautiful. And you didn't have to worry. Yeah, but I haven't had a normal salad in weeks. So, wild blueberries, your number two, or fresh picked blueberries. What's yours? The second thing I've been enjoying lately is the

“thing that I wanted to say last time, but I forgot, walkie talkies. Have you done this before?”

Have I done walking? I can't remember. It's fine, go on. So, this was for children who have walkie talkies. And I wear one, and you know, I wear it on my shirt. And so then at any moment, they can talk and give updates or things like that. But I would like to just make an argument for walkie talkies for adults. There's something so great about one, the lingo, 10, four, over and out. Copy, copy. Knowing the right lingo, but also just you have to be smart about it. You can't just

drone on, you know, even in tax messages. Tax messages, you just have to type into, it felt like it was a short message, right? Be home in five. Now, tax messages, you can talk your voice text. And so, you can just drone on about nonsense. Do you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you'll send me a text, which is a voice recording. And it's just long. Just droning on. No, but you know what I'm saying? There is a, there is an inherent kind of directness about a text message. I think now has been

lost. With a walkie talkie, you need to be, you need to be very to the point. And I have just,

“I think they're fantastic. Do you need to be to the point or it's just like part of the genre?”

Well, because the other person, you know it could be good for couples therapy, because the other person can't talk or interrupt into the one person's fit. Oh, it's so good. I heard that all right now from couples therapy charges $700. From what? Or now? The woman on couples therapy? I don't know what that is. The show. I don't know what that is. What? I don't, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Well, I don't know. What's wrong? So, they have button and

walkie talkies. And for any of you, shrinks out there, a couple therapists, please give me credit when you try walkie talkies for couples having trouble with communication. I, this is embarrassing.

a minute. And I had so much fun. I went to the Guggenheim and walked around and I ate an incredible

piece of pizza and it just, I don't know why I find it so relaxing. Even in the middle of the summer, and after living in the suburbs for quite a while now, when I go back, I just feel impressed. It just like works. Like people just know how to walk in a small space together. People just like know how to, there can be like a line in a bagel place with 70 people in it and it moves very quickly. And everyone shares the space. Like it's, there's something symphonic about it for me.

And I had a great time. Can't wait to go back. Third thing I've been enjoying lately is watching people set up tents and how is a little, living, you know, set up their tents in the forest with their little blow up beds and blow up couches and their little wood stove. Where are you seeing this? Instagram. Really. I've been,

I've been loving. When I was little girl, I always used to let you set up this little play house. And

then I would take it right back down. But I would set it up in the middle of the living room. And I'd make my own little space in there. And I'd love to be in there. And I just, I don't know how they found me these videos. But I watch them. And I love, you know, they, they unload the tent and then they set the tent up and the little things and little rug and the little wood stove. And they're nice and warm and it's horrible outside. That's something I've been enjoying lately.

If you were going to become a type of Instagram influencer, what would you pick? What do you think I could be? I just read an article that said that the bar, the bar is being raised. That it used to be, you could become an influencer just by posting like you in your attractive

“yoga outfit, drinking a macho, but now people want more. So you, I think you have to have a skill”

or a point of view of some kind that people need. I don't know if anything about me is made out to be an influencer in any way. You know, like what, what would I, what would I, I could show you ponds? That would work. I got, I got really deep on someone's channel the other day where the question was, is this rock thirsty and then they put a wet sponge on a rock and watch to see how fast the water soaked it up. And you might think like that's idiotic, but being here,

I pick up a, a beautiful shiny black rock out of the water and I carry to my pocket and I take it out of my pocket and it's just a regular as rock. It was only because it was wet. That it looked so, so special. And other rock tumblers. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying like, you could build a whole influence thing just by often things so niche. I know I should find it.

“People like that. I think you need to give eight of voice. Practice give practice different”

funny voices. You could do for eight. And then you do videos from eight's point of view. We're going to go pro on eight's head. Give eight of voice. Just I think there's no voice. This is like, I'm not sure what the voice is. You're going to be my voice. Now, Phoebe God, like give it a funny voice. Don't make eight have Phoebe voice. Do you think eight's voice really sounds like? Tony Suprano. That's what her voice sounds like. I think it sounds kind of like Chloe's voice.

Ooh, like raspy smoker. Uh, well, something I could get into from the influencer standpoint would be tidying and there's a big market for watching people tidying up a space. And when I think about the emotional labor of setting up a camera and then editing a video, there's almost nothing that would make it worth it to me. And that's all I think when I watch influencers. Whenever I watch a video of anyone on Instagram doing anything, all I think about them is setting up

the camera and editing the video. And I just think like, this is, uh, what are you doing? I'm showing you something that I think could be the next thing that I could do.

“I think this is my screen shock. This is my screen shock. Remember, I've told you I'm”

doing a screen shot. And this is my kit. This is my pocket knife. And then, um, I will, um, screen shine a hair. Do you see this hair? I'm making this hair. Um, there's a screen shot on my pocket knife. How long do you think that will take you? Well, I'm chipping away at it. Everyone's in a while. Well, you could do a different old fashioned craft every few months. Do you want to see a magic trick sensor here? Yes. Probably a couple of tricks and one of these pockets.

I always have a deck of cards around. Is that a card on my mom? This is a card from your mother.

I was like, I know that handwriting anywhere. This is a card from your mother, writing to me, thanking me for the donation I made to when your grandmother died to the hospice. I was thinking of a hospice. This is, this is, this is, are you actually going to tell this wild to Winston and to what I find a deck of cards? The, in the last second to last episode of criminal, the comfort kit,

at the same time. And so was my aunt and my uncle in Evans, Georgia. We did not know that.

This is my piano time. I can't stop thinking about all the times I visited my grandmother and

“wondering if Rachel was also there. And thinking I think I would have noticed because I almost never”

saw younger people there. And when I did sometimes I would try to be like, hey, I think I'm a good

card. Well, I guess I'll have to be for next time. Okay. Well, thank you very much for listening.

“I have a couple requests. Want number one? Next reading club. We are taking suggestions. Number two,”

if there is a one person performance that you have seen that you find interesting and provocative

send it to us so we can include it in our studies. Please, please, please.

“Thank you all very much for listening and for watching. We will be back to soon. If you have any”

thoughts for us, where hello at this is criminal.com 8338227850. Lauren Spores on Instagram and I'm Phoebe.judge. We love to hear from you. So thank you again for listening and we'll talk to you soon. Bye-bye. Bye. And then you say, please continue.