Why Record Amounts Of Young People Are Saying No To Marriage AND Sex | Dr. Debra Soh, PhD

Millennial women would say, "I don't like this. I don't know what's going on. What we see with Gen Z women is that they'll experience the same things, but they're more inclined to say that they like it." Or they will ask a male partner to actually do it.

They'll initiate it themselves. Why are Gen Z women more likely to say they like it? Because they grew up watching porn from a very young age, or they were exposed to porn at such a young age. But what do you say to the 25-year-old man

who feels demoralized and in-behind? Don't let that derail you. Put your head down and keep working. What's your alternative? If you're going to sit there and play video games

and football day long, that will be your life in 20-30 years.

“And I think the only thing worse than being where you are now”

is being the exact same place 20-30 years now. Not only are more young people opting out of marriage than any generation before them, they're opting out of sex. And the ones who are having sex, a disturbing number of young women report that it includes choking, roughness, blurred lines

between consensual and coercive. Millennial women say they didn't sign up for violence. It just became normal. Gen Z says it's consensual, but only after growing up on unlimited high-speed pornography.

Meanwhile, young men's testosterone is declining. Sperm counts are dropping. One in five college students is on anti-depressants. Half of young adults say they probably won't have kids, and fertility clinics are marketing egg freezing

like it's a black Friday sale. So, the question isn't just why aren't people getting married.

It's, are we living through the first generation

and modern history that is biologically and psychologically less interested in sex? And if so, why? Today I'm joined by Dr. Deborah So, neuroscientist

“and author of Sex Stinction, the decline of sex”

in the future of intimacy. Dr. So specializes in human sexuality and the biological drivers of behavior. She earned her PhD from York University, spent over a decade as a scientific researcher, has spoken at the Oxford Union

and her writing is appeared in the Wall Street Journal. Harpers, the Globe, and Mail, and the Los Angeles Times. I've wanted to interview Dr. So for years. So this is a juicy episode. It does come with a listener advisory warning for little years.

I try to spotlight conversations that are outside of the box for most health and wellness podcasts. If you appreciate that, please leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify. It takes less than five seconds to leave a review

and it really helps us show up on the charts. On this show, we bring expert guests on to heal a sick culture physically, emotionally or spiritually. You can watch this episode on the real Alex Clark YouTube channel or Culture Apothecary on Spotify.

Please welcome journalist and author of Sex Stinction, the decline of sex in the future of intimacy. Dr. Deborah So to Culture Apothecary. You actually found out with your research that young people today are having less sex than ever before.

That's right. It was very surprising for me to find that.

At first, when I started hearing about this sex recession,

I thought it was overblown. There was one study in particular that came out in 2016. It was based on data from the general social survey. So this is a nationally representative survey. And it was showing that across the board, Americans of all ages,

were having less sex than ever before. But particularly among millennials, they were the generation to be less likely to have had a sexual partner by the age of 20. So compared to previous generations, millennials for some reason

were more sexually anactive than before. And this trend was expected to continue on to Gen Z. So we're finding that across a number of different data sets that roughly one in three men and one in five women have not had sex in the last year,

which is a large proportion of people. And on top of it, I mean, people are not even interested in dating anymore. There's one study from Pew that found over half of single people are not interested in dating at all right now.

So this is a trend that's happening globally. It's happening in the West. It's happening in the East. It's happening among developed countries. And we're seeing similar trends

in terms of lower marriage rates, birth rates.

“And I think also, there's a larger divide”

happening between men and women politically that is also fueling a bit of this. But I was really excited with sex action to get to sit down

and look at the numbers myself for the first time.

And really determine myself, is this something that's actually happening? Or is this a moral panic? I do think something very unusual and not stellar is happening in that it's not really a good predictor

of where we're headed as a species. If people are not interested in sex, part of my interest in sexual inactivity is because I used to study sex scientifically when I was in academia.

But now as a journalist and as an author, I really want to see what is happening. What is taking the place of sex? Because it is a proxy for connection, intimacy, people feeling like they have a community,

people feel in close to one another. And so if we're not interested in connecting in that way, what is taking its place? And so each chapter in the book goes

or a different explanation, I think,

as to why this is happening, a different form of technology that might be taking the place of sex, and what it also protects for the future, which is not good things. You wrote that millennials grew up wanting love.

We were seeking love and envisioning that for our life. Gen Z doesn't want to date. They want situationships. What change psychologically?

“I think well, even from millennials like myself,”

or your millennium to a 93. We wanted love, but it's passe. Or somehow, there's something cooler about casual sex. And so now what you see with Gen Z is they're following the same trend,

but they're not really calling it that. They're calling this situation ship, where it's like a friendship with the sex. But it's not like with millennials where it was friends with benefits

where you would have only sex, and then not have any type of intimacy beyond that, where you wouldn't be calling each other every day. You wouldn't be meeting each other's families. Like it was very firm in terms of boundaries.

I don't think casual sex is good for anyone for men or women. I think less promised duties better across the board. But I think the unfortunate thing with Gen Z is that some of them, I think the younger Gen Zers

are moving away from this idea that casual sex is empowering. And they saw what it did to millennials and older Gen Z and they're saying, that's kind of tacky and we don't want that.

But I think there is a segment of Gen Zers who mistakenly go into these arrangements, thinking that they can keep sex and emotion to separate. But the weird thing is that they will do,

basically, everything that you do in relationship,

like goal invocation with the other person. Yeah, have pet names and things, talk every day, text every day, spend tons of time together. And then of course, one person falls in love with the other person, and the other person says, well, no, I didn't want that.

“And I think it's also this lack of intimacy”

or not wanting to come across as vulnerable or needy. So they don't go into it saying, I'm looking for a relationship, I want to settle down, or I want to get married. It's very much like, let's just see where it goes.

And of course, it's wasting time unfortunately. And then both people probably don't end up really getting what they want. Because I do think at the core most people, even young people, wants that connection.

They want something real. It's just not seen culturally as cool to want that. The majority of Gen Z isn't having sex at all. But those that are, it's within the bounds of this situation, shape type of deal.

They see that as different than a casual one night stand, type of hook up as a millennial. Because they're like, well, I know this person, I'm regularly seeing them, but we're not official, we're not even in a talking stage.

Like a situation ship is even different than that. This is very confusing to Gen X, by the way. Gen X is like, I'm out. I don't even understand this at all. Because, you know, for millennials,

we had talking stage, then dating, then you're, then you're, like, in a relationship. Yeah, then you're official. So that was like our tier system,

“but is everything in Gen Z starting as a situation ship?”

It seems that it just moves in that nebulous way, but like, they meet and they say, we're, they don't even really know what they want. They don't want to know what they want. It's just about like testing the waters

and having quote experiences, which I think must be so heartbreaking because I don't, I don't think it's possible for two people to spend that much time together and not have feelings to develop at least a little bit.

Well, yeah. And if you're not compatible, you're gonna find out eventually. You're not compatible. And then you're gonna have to go your separate ways.

So not only did you waste that time, but you're not gonna be with that person anymore. But it's also even different from friends with benefits. I think millennials are very familiar with friends with benefits and what that looks like,

but that was serious boundaries. You were not for sure inviting them to go on vacation with your family and stuff. - No. You wouldn't even necessarily tell your friends

that much about them because you know that this is just a sexual thing. So this is not your boyfriend. I've had many of my friends when we were younger who would have those types of situations

and they would say very clearly. They know that this is not like a girlfriend boyfriend thing and it's almost cringy to think of it that way. - What are the actual stats right now on men versus women wanting marriage

and how far apart are they? - So it's actually more men than women in terms of the younger generations that want marriage, women are more likely to say that they think

marriage is an outdated tradition,

which is, this is probably the first time in history

that this has become the case. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that young women are performing their male peers in terms of education and occupation. So young women are finishing high school,

going to university, getting advanced degrees, like masters, PhDs, they become physicians, lawyers, professional degrees. They're far exceeding their male peers. So women are not financially dependent on men anymore.

And so marriage doesn't really serve the same purpose when you think of it from a very pragmatic standpoint. I do think marriage has value in that its commitment. It shows that especially with a man who's going to stay with you

because it's very easy for men to get up in the evening, especially after you have a child with him potentially. So I do think there's value there. It shows that both people are willing to see the relationship through.

My right and section about how the concept of getting married has changed a lot. And I don't think people necessarily take it as seriously. As before, nowadays it's more like just something you do after a certain point of time

because you want your family, your in-law, to leave you alone and stop pestering you about when you're going to get married. One big thesis of sectionation is this idea that DEI diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives

are not helpful for either sex. Because I think what happens with progressive women

The women are excelling in society.

We don't need men. We don't need men financially. We don't need them emotionally. We're just fine without them. But if you do want a future with a partner,

who are you going to settle down with? Because women are hypergamous. They're not likely to marry or date someone who is lower in status than they are. Women tend to date or marry at the same level or higher.

I feel like I see often on social media from the feminist progressive camps. Are they are still insisting that women have it harder and that we are so behind. And I don't know what planet you are on.

“Literally, we are exceeding in every single metric out of men, right?”

Yeah, I think part of it is whether they were indoctrinated in academia. There is this mindset that very much, yes, there is a history of women being held back in society. At one point, we did not have the same rights as men.

And I think part of that is that's just what they were taught over and over again in every class. It doesn't matter what you major in. That's like a prominent way of thinking. Maybe they're afraid that women are going to be sent back

to the kitchen if we let go of those ideas. But it's definitely not doing them any benefits. And now what I find interesting is instead of saying, oh, you know, maybe we should allow men to succeed. Maybe we should ease off on all of this weird discrimination

against men in the hopes of that's going to somehow allow women to continue excelling to the point where we will not have to worry about sexism ever again. But they're saying now it's cool or it's cringy to have a boyfriend. Yeah.

And they're trying to normalize this, or as one of the other chapters I talk about, increasing an IVF and reproductive technology, saying, if you can't find a man with whom you'd like to pair up with and have a child, just go on your own and do it.

“So I think this is a larger problem in society.”

Like the book very much talks about all these solutions that we are creating to try and fix this sexist problem or this loneliness problem. But it's not getting at the root cause. You talked about how more women than men don't want marriage.

What about having sex? Are women less interested in sex or men less interested in sex? What I sense to happen is women, the ones who are sexually active, are probably all having sex with the same smaller pool of highly successful men.

And then the men who can't get any partners, very much have no options. In terms of the actual stats, like one in three men is not having sex versus one in five women over the last 12 months. So there are more sexless men, but of the men who are having sex

they're having very many more partners. Why are there more sexless men than women? Because they're not doing this well on society. When you look at college campuses, right? Because the sex ratio is so much skewed in favor of men

in that there are so few men on campus versus women. Like in terms of university degrees, women are going to be getting degrees at twice three to men in the coming years. And in terms of graduate degrees like Masters and PhDs,

for basically the last 30, 40 years,

women have been getting more of those advanced degrees in men. Majority of CEOs in America women? No, so that's something different though. I think because when you get to that point,

if women start deciding to have families, we can talk about that to how there is a difference in terms of our biology. So if a woman does decide to have a family become a mother, that's probably going to take her away

from her career unless she goes above and beyond to focus on her career, but she probably will be raised in her children in that case. Got it, okay, yeah. So in terms of when you have this smaller ratio

in terms of successful men, those men do not need to settle down or pick one partner. They can have as many partners as they want because when they are that successful, they are much more attractive.

So they can set the bounds in terms of how soon they want to be having sex, whether or not they will commit to someone, whether or not they will invest in a partner.

“And so that's why we see this with women.”

They're like I said, they're all fighting for this smaller pool of highly successful men. And those men are not really incentivized to settle down. So when you see this massive group of 18 to 29 year old men who are not dating by choice and they're absolutely not even interested,

they're not even going out looking for women nothing. I think a lot of people assume, well, it's because it's porn. Like they get all of their needs fulfilled with porn. But your research proved that's actually not the full picture. It's not porn only that is causing this epidemic.

So can you kind of explain more about that? Yeah, I do think porn and other technological standards are playing roles because if you as a young man, especially if you're at the peak of your sexual interest with salate teens early 20s,

it's not like you're going to be sitting around just waiting. You're going to need an outlet. So I think many young men are turning to porn. I do think porn can be very destructive because what happens is when someone is watching porn,

they have an orgasm so that helps to say shade them, at least a little bit temporarily. And that takes away from their desire or their drive to actually go out and meet women and to find someone and to better themselves and become successful so that they can have a real relationship.

So it'll basically help them say shade their sex drive

until the next time they want to look at porn. And if someone's going to porn every day or multiple times a day, that really I think is setting him back because, again, he's getting that sexual need fulfilled. But he's not having any motivation to go out

and pursue something better for himself.

there's something going on with men's testosterone.

“I think also for women too, we're all being affected”

by these endocrine disruptors. And so for men, especially if they're testosterone levels are lower than they've ever been, that also affects their sex drive, it affects their motivation, it affects their mood, and so that as well as I think the birth control pill in women,

it's doing something to the sexual signaling. So there's something that's changed in the dynamic between men and women, hormonally. So men are less incentivized or interested in pursuing women, and women are also less interested in getting involved with men.

I think even more shocking than just the fact that guys are not even interested in hookups or dating is that you said that there is a large number of young men in this country who are not even interested in working. And there's no good reason for why they are not working.

So there's no reason at all. They're not on disability, there's nothing wrong with them. They just don't want to work. So what did you find that those men who are just choosing not to work? What are they doing all day?

What did they all have in common? I do think part of that is the low testosterone. I think it's also mental health issues. 5% of the globe is depressed right now. So depression is at an all-time high.

I also think if you're potentially taking pharmaceutical medications, like SSRIs or other things that are affecting you, endocrine disruptors, as I mentioned, like that's going to affect again, testosterone and just your overall sense of health. We're most of them on prescription pills.

Many of them have been on SSRIs. I don't want to blame SSRIs, but I do think that in terms of what I love about your show is that you're about getting to the root cause of what people are struggling with, especially with something like chronic illness that is so prevalent nowadays.

What is happening, right? This should not be happening especially to young people.

So to get it, you know, basically things like diet, exercise,

mental health, improving the way you feel about yourself, improving like just living like a normal human being, not being in behind your screen. I'll do a lot of not doing most of your interactions with other people behind screens or with say, A.I.s, something as simple as that.

“I think is affecting people's overall approach to life.”

But with young men, especially some of them I do think feel like the world is against them because of feminism, because of DEI. They feel that the cards are stacked against them and they cannot be successful in the matter what they do, so they just don't want to try, which I think is a defeatous mindset.

And I guess it's easy for me as willing to say that. But I do think, you know, it's your life and at the end of the day, you, you're the one that needs to choose how you want to live it. What I think is interesting about the SSRI part of this is that you said one in five college kids are on an SSRI and one of the biggest side effects of an SSRI

is anxiety and depression. Exactly, depression and low sex relief. Yes, I feel like that's a huge key to this. And I also agree with the low testosterone, the chemicals in the environment and the products that we are using in our homes

are our bodies, you know, deodorant, going right into your lymphatic system. I think all of that has to do with it. I thought it was so smart that you put that in the book. Thank you. And also with, you know, post SSRI sexual dysfunction, which is something I started to get more attention now.

The fact that children are being prescribed these medications and there isn't really a full understanding of how this is going to affect their sexual development. So of course, I say for anyone listening, speak to your care team or your physician, you know, don't be debase your mental health decisions or physical health decisions on something that I'm saying on a podcast.

But I do think it's worth questioning because there's something larger happening. I think in terms of the disconnection that we are feeling in society. And I'm really concerned because I don't see it getting better until we address what's actually causing this as opposed to turning down these different pathways of band-aid solutions that make us feel better at the time.

Help us, maybe, self-regulate and emotionally deal with our problems. But in the end, it's not going to be good for us. Remember the chip skylark episode of Fairly Odd Parents? That song, "Mashanity, Thamishanity, Chinatith." Every kid in America lost their mind. We're screaming. We're crying.

We're buying toothbrushes like it's a black Friday riot. And the whole thing turns out to be a marketing scheme to control children through dental hygiene.

“Honestly, not the worst conspiracy. If you want to hear about the worst conspiracy,”

I could talk your ear off on that. It's a good reminder. Maybe don't put blind faith in shady things on the internet. Or, in a cartoon man with perfect veneers. But you know what isn't a waste of time, flossing your teeth, at least if it's non-toxic.

I use zebra for floss and toothpaste. Zebra floss is made from real silk, peppermint oil and xylitol. Not polyester, not plastic, not PFAS forever chemicals because a lot of natural floss

is basically dental-fishing line marinating your gums and microplastics.

Zebra floss has been tested. No detectable PFAS. Just cleaning ingredients that won't slowly betray you. And they didn't stop there. Zebra makes deodorant that actually works. I'm talking summers, air in stress, sweat, real life, sweat. I live in Phoenix. I am the ultimate deodorant tester.

It goes on clear, not chunky. It doesn't cake under your arms like drywall paste. Aluminum-free, paraben-free, fragrance-free, and, if baking soda, irritation, your skin like mine, they do have a formula without it.

You chew them, they foam up, you brush, done, no dipping your brushing.

Did this jar like you're turning butter in 1840. They're hydroxy-appetite-free. Some people like myself. Hydroxy-appetite doesn't work for. Some of you does fine. It doesn't for me. And this is fluoride-free and hydroxy-appetite-free. It's clean. It's simple. Kids will really love using the tablets.

Flosher teeth. It could be one of the main contributors of inflammation in your body if you don't. Go to Yezyber.com, use code Alex for 10% off, that's Yezyber.com code Alex for 10% off. Getting ready for church has turned into a Navy seal operation for some of you. It's Sunday morning. You've got a 47-step skincare routine. Three serums that sound like NASA projects and your contouring like you're about to testify before

Congress. You end up going to church with a bad attitude, and that is not the right heart posture to worship the Lord. You can look just as good, take less time, and be less toxic with the Dell natural cosmetics. It's Christian-founded family-owned handcrafted and central Texas real people making real products. Not a lab in Switzerland run by a guy named Klaus who

hates you. Their whole thing is rooted in first Peter 3-3-3-4. Beauty comes from the heart,

which is refreshing because Instagram would have you believe the beauty comes from a $600 laser, right? A Dell keeps it simple. Their moisturizing foundation is their top-rated product, tons of five-star reviews, and women say it feels like wearing nothing at all. As do I, it even your skin tone nourishes your skin and gives you that natural radiant finish. As you get older, you do not want to wear matte foundations. It is the most ugly, just aging, looking

foundation that you could possibly wear. Stop with that. You need a natural radiant look, okay? You'll look alive, not in balmed, and in the winter, your skin is drier than the church bulletin, okay? Cold air and or heat, it's chaos. They're hydrating aloe vera sprays, give instant relief without feeling heavy. I like to do that at the very end after I've

“set with my setting powder. Essential moisturizer actually replenishes your skin. That's another”

great product, and then their body oil will really lock in moisture after a warm shower. You're glowing, but respectfully, their lip conditioner has hyaluronic acid. It's buttery soft glossy, not sticky, and the glow highlighter is also good. You can dab it on your cheekbones, your brow bone, inner corners of your eyes to look awake even if you're not. Especially if your church has very early services that your husband likes to go to. They even offer complimentary color matching.

So if you email them, they will help you find your shade. If they're wrong, they send another one for free. They source from small sustainable U.S. farms as well. It's clean, handcrafted,

beauty made with integrity. Use code Alex for 25% off your first order at a del natural cosmetics.com.

That's a del natural cosmetics.com code Alex. I've done episodes on post SSRI sexual dysfunction, and I don't think a lot of people realize because the FDA doesn't require a black box label on the product yet explaining this, that being on an SSRI for as little as a week, you can develop this disorder which completely numbs your genitals. You have an inability to orgasm. You also have an inability to just experience

joy or any extreme like a range of emotions, period, creativity. Yes, and it doesn't, it doesn't go, there's no cure. And people are not warned of this. There is no informed consent when they're being prescribed this. And OBGYNs are the the top person that are prescribing SSRIs.

“It's not even psychiatrist, which is really disturbing, I think. When you say that women now”

believe that marriage is outdated, is it only liberal women or we seem conservative women believe that as well? That particular study did not break it down by political affiliation. I would imagine it's probably more so among progressive women that feel this way. My sense is conservative young women like in Gen Z still do want marriage. But again, if you're making more money than most men of your age cohort, even if you want that, it's going to be very

difficult to find somebody. So you either are going to have to wait a bit longer until your cohort male cohort catches up or date older, which there's nothing wrong with that. But I do think part of it is just what is available and also where we're moving culturally, like even I think among conservative women. And this is the tension I see between conservative women and conservative men, was conservative men, of course not all. But my sense is many of them will say I would prefer

to have a stay at home. I would prefer that my wife not work. And for some of them, I guess if it's more stream, I thought Red Pilly side that you mentioned might say it's because a woman who's educated is going to be promiscuous. She's going to have a high body count. She's going to watch you on you. All these things, she's going to be like a bossy person. She's not going to submit to you and all this stuff. And I don't think that's healthy or helpful either. So I think both sides,

you know, the left and the right get it wrong and some ways to get it right in some ways and to get it wrong in some ways. And I think for a young woman, it's great if you're ambitious and you

“want to balance both or you want to focus on motherhood, be say it home on, or if you want to just”

focus on your career, or be working on whatever, I do think that marriage has value. And I also think for women, this is a bit of an aside, but in terms of planning your life, you know, one chapter the chapter I talk about with reproductive technology. I think it's very important for young women to

if you are. Same. Yeah. Have you read Suzanne Vanker's books? No, no. Oh, I see her on your social she's great. You would love her book that is all about this exact issue with how we need to start in high school and as girls are going to college, talking about the statistics and the realities of the likelihood that eventually you will want marriage and kids and how we need to be thinking about our career choices with that in mind. So instead of like doing them separate, like well,

I'll have a family eventually. So I'm just really going to go like gung home on my career without even considering that I'm probably likely going to want that at some point and then how that will affect my career is going into career thinking of like what choices and and moves can I make that will allow for the integration of my family that will be easy to you know change my schedule to part-time or different things like that. Right. I was going to say to with these technologies

like egg freezing, they're being sold to young women as you can buy yourself more time. So similar

“to being on the pill, which you know, I think whatever people choose to do is their choice, but once”

you start delaying your fertility, it means that you're going to be playing catch-up later on. And also that these technologies are not sure bats. That's not 100% certain that it's going to work. So my concern is that young women might be saying, okay, I can focus on all these other things right now, freeze my eggs, then when I get to a certain point, I can use them, but you don't know that necessarily you're going to be able to become pregnant using those eggs, and also you

you don't know that your necessarily going to be able to find a husband at that point because it's already so difficult right? So as you get older, it's only going to be fewer men available. So I think just to tell women, it doesn't matter what your politics are to be really honest with yourself and say, you know, I don't need to listen to what society's telling me to do, because the left tells you, you know, motherhood is a burden, don't bother with any of that.

You don't need a man, just focus on your career and grind it out. And then the right, not not everyone, of course, but there's a sentiment of, you don't need to have a career. Don't have ambition, just, you know, work on a home-said, Mick Jam. How's this kids? Mick Jam. If there is this huge group of young women who are not even interested in marriage at all anymore,

“how do we convince them? Otherwise, how do we bring them back around?”

At the core, I believe everyone truly wants love. There are many people who say nowadays that

they've given up. They don't care. They're going their own way. They're never going to date again.

Both men and women say this. I get a lot of this on social media. If you ever try, I'm sure, you know, if you ever try to speak on this, they love people. Love to come for you and tell you how you're wrong. And at the core, I think we, as human beings are wired to want to connect with other people and to be in love and to find a partner. So I think it has to start with the education system, because that's where they get young women. The hardest is when you're young and you don't know

any better, I used to be very, very feminist myself. You used to be very progressive. And I do think part of that is because I was an academia for so long, because everyone just thinks that way. It doesn't even occur to you that people think differently until you leave and you start talking to other people. So how did you break out of that? Well, I left academia because I wrote this op-ed about gender disorder and how I was not in favor of that and the scientific research

does not back that is the right approach for these kids. So I knew that I would not be able to get a job in academia after that point. And that was really what started to, I guess, opened me up to different ways of thinking because before then, I thought, you know, there are no biological differences between men and women. I thought that was just sexism. Whereas now I understand, obviously, there's a huge scientific literature showing that there are

very clear differences on average between men and women, especially when it comes to things like

“the work life balance and the way we talk about these issues, you have to take into account women's”

biology. Whereas in the past, I was said, that's just sexism. You know, women can do the same as men. Now we all the technologies that help us do the same things as men, but there's a cost to that.

And I don't think that technology, as amazing as it is, can over-truelly override biology,

or is it that it's meant to. So that was probably the start of it. And I remember when I was mobbed on social media as a quote, transfer, or whatever, that conservative media came to my defense. And I didn't think conservatives would ever care, but I didn't think I'd just say, because being in academia every once every one I knew was a liberal. So, and then I started making friends with conservatives and I was like, oh, you know, we're really not that different

at the end of the day. Who is the first prominent conservative that reached out to you and said, you know, I'm a fan of your work and keep doing what you're doing? David French was one of the first people's ever write about me for National Review. I don't want to speak for him. I don't know if he's still a fan of my work now, but I appreciate that. And Ben Shapiro also was very supportive, very early on. And I met Ben actually an event. I flagged him down. And he was so nice,

he was about to go on stage to speak. And I couldn't believe I was just like, okay, I just need to ask him a couple of questions because I was writing about the event and he spoke with me. Yeah, I've been very grateful for it. Did you grow up in a conservative home? My parents, I think immigrants are generally conservative. Yeah. You know, where are they immigrants from? Malaysia. Okay.

And so what did they think of your transformation? They love it. I mean, first there, you know,

Asian parents are very much like horrified, but if you're not going to be a proper doctor, like a physician, like your science is okay, but they're happy, you know, they're very happy, they're okay. She's doing all right. I think what the left would say if they were arguing with you, if, you know, if I may just pretend. I imagine that they would say, you know, the reason that educated women find it very hard to find a man today is because they don't like that they're

Well, okay, I'll look at the research. In terms of studies that exist, they do show that

marriages in which women have are the primary breadwinners, so they make most of the money or are the sold breadwinners, so they make all of the money. They tend to fall for divorce at higher rates. They tend to experience domestic violence at higher rates. They tend to experience cheating, so their husbands are more likely to cheat on them over time. They also are more likely to do the majority of housework and childcare, even though they're bringing in the majority of the

household income. So looking at those stats alone, I totally understand why women would say, you know, men just don't like it. When a woman is more successful, I do think that sometimes men, they feel it's emasculating if a woman is more successful than they are, they feel threatened by it,

“which I don't think they need to. I think that, you know, you can support your spouse just as”

she'll support you, hopefully. There is, I guess, a little bit of truth to what the women are saying,

but I don't progress a women are saying, but I don't think by-large that's in the full picture. I try to give the other side as much the benefit of the doubt as possible. I think maybe for some men, they feel like they're not doing enough. They know as men, they need to be the primary. They should be providing for their spouse or their family, and if they're falling in that or failing in that role, it probably on some ways eats away at them. And I write about house husbands in

section, and how there's this whole genre of men on the internet who love to take videos of themselves as house husbands. So they're running around the house all day long to sing, this is what I do when my wife is at work, and I'm not home. I'm going to tell you right now, my husband made a video like that. I'm drying right up. Well, no kidding. Absolutely no. And it doesn't really speak well to the fact that you're supposed to be so busy if you have time to be making

videos for social media while your wife is busy making all the money. That's giving me the egg. So it's basically kind of like stay at home dad type of stuff. Yeah, I do think for those guys deep down, they know they're not really fulfilling their purpose as men, and they feel guilty about it. They feel shameful about it. So this is why they need to make these videos. And they

get validation from millions of other women being like, "Oh my gosh, you're so amazing what a dream

husband is like, you can do that and have a job." Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I have had a long-held belief that one of the contributing factors to why so many young women do not want to get married is

“because they have been on hormonal birth control for a decade or more. What are your thoughts on that?”

That's very interesting because I have a feeling there's something going on there. So when when I'm sure your audience already knows this, but women when they're on the pill, they are not ovulating. It helps ovulation. When a woman is ovulating, that's when she's the most fertile, she can get pregnant. And so that is a very potent source of sexual inspiration. So if you basically knock that out of a woman's system, it's going to change her behavior. It's going to change the way

she feels. You know, I was on the pill for a number of years, so I can relate to this. Definitely you feel very different when you're on the pill versus when you're not on it. I think if women want to be on the pill, that's their choice. That's great. But I do think also they deserve to know what the potential side effects are, just like you were saying earlier with anti-depressants. I don't think that women are getting all of the information about this. I don't think that most

are even aware of how this affects their cycle necessarily, because they're still getting a faux period, right? It's not an actual menstrual period, but because they're bleeding for a week during the month, they think it's simulates a menstrual cycle. So women may not even be aware of how this is really affecting them internally. And so when you're not ovulating, you're not going to be giving out the same sexual signals as you would when you are,

because when you're ovulating, your body wants you to get pregnant, wants you to pick the best man to potentially have a child with, and men can pick up on these signals. Research has shown that men can tell when a woman is ovulating based on her appearance, their behavior towards men, men become more protective of their female partners. They are a lot more leary of men, you know, they won't try to maybe swoop in and get her pregnant with behind their back and cuckolding them.

“That type of thing. I think if women are not putting out the same sexual signals,”

men are going to be picking up on this as well. Men are also not going to be as interested in wanting to protect or provide their partner, because thinking, well, she can't get pregnant. You consciously are otherwise that they're thinking that. But I also think it being on the pill can feminize the woman's brain. Women prefer men who are less masculine. They prefer more caretaking nurturing men. So I wonder is that also why so many young women demonized

masculinity and then in your case, what you're saying, why they're pushing away from men and saying we don't need you because, you know, I'm good. I think you're onto something and I also think, you know, consider this. When we're talking about falling testosterone rates, you've got birth control now in the water supply, placentas they're finding are filled with microplastics, antidepressants also in the water. I mean, so you talk about how even if you're not on the pill,

we're all on the pill. That's spooky. It is spooky. And I don't know what it's going to take for

what's in the water, but in the food, anything like you're saying personal care products, like everything that we're putting in in on our body is going to be affecting us to some degree. And do you think that there's something to be said about the combination of all of these college

“students being on SSRI's ant hormonal birth control? I think there's something going on there. I do.”

We need more research to know for sure. And I think it's probably going to be some time before

that research can be done because I was a researcher is probably not as incentivized to be critical

of pharmaceutical interventions, right? And in terms of funding and the pushback you're going to get, we can look at what happened during COVID and all the fun things that researchers had to go through as a result of doing any objective research regarding that period of time and any interventions that came out during that time. I do think, especially when it comes to what's in the water, you know, there's a huge body of literature pertaining to animals and the effects that it's

having on animals. It's affecting their courts behavior. It's making them intersex. I know you've talked about the frogs and atrazine. Yes. And I've seen studies where they will have fish showing the fish that are intersex. So the male fish become feminized, the female fish become masculineized. Their ovaries are all distorted and it's really sad. And because they're exposed to either pharmaceuticals, like dyespan, which is an anti anxiety medication. If it is birth control,

if it is like other estrogenic substances, I'm glad that the conversation is happening.

“I think it's just we need to just keep going with it and make it more mainstream because I don't”

know about you, but I find that many people when you try to talk to them about this, it depends where they are on the political spectrum. I find conservatives are like, yes, of course, this is happening. But there's still a segment of society that is in denial. Even with birth control, if you try to talk about that in social media, you get all of these so-called experts coming out saying, like, well, they're so feminist and they believe in women having the right to express themselves

and validating women's experiences. But the minute you criticize any pharmaceutical that has to do with, like, or we'll just say specifically the pill, then, oh, that's medical misinformation. Three, four years ago, I was talking about birth control a lot because that's when I was totally radicalized on her mobile birth control. I was like, everything I know is a lie. That really started me down my entire Mahat journey, so to speak. Now, it is still like the number one thing when a liberal

outlet is reaching out to me to talk to me. They always want to talk to me about my thoughts on

birth control and the way they angle the questions. It's all very like fear-mongering about, and, you know, do you believe that all women should, you know, they should have as many children, you know, as possible, like, no limits, like, and nobody should work outside the home. And all these things, I'm like, what are you doing? This is completely nonpartisan. You've had women on both sides of the political spectrum for years, you know, talking about their experiences on the

pill. I don't know what you're acting, you know, they bring in words like Christian nationalism and all this kind of like, I don't know why you're talking about, like, it's literally crazy stuff, but then I realized all of those outlets are funded by pharma. That is why they are obsessed with this and the only angle they have left because they know this is a nonpartisan issue that crap. We're losing people, we're losing people, our advertisers are pissed. We have to start being,

like, ah, you know, this is all, like, let's drag up the feminists again and get them inside it, because they have nothing, they have nothing to defend it anymore. And so they have to scare people about what I'm saying because their advertisers are upset. Because I really sat when the Washington Post started saying, you know, that we're spreading misinformation about the pill and all this, and I'm like, what are you even talking about? You're cat is getting ready for spring break.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but he's laying out. He's in the windows, sunbathing, like he just booked an Airbnb in Cabo, just keep him away from the cartel. I mean, the dude is licking himself into a six pack. I wish I could do that. He's focused. He's disciplined. He's vision board energy. Meanwhile, you're on the couch eating chips fried and what sounds like a chemical spill. The cat has standards, you're powered by industrial seed oil. Fun fact,

up until the 90s, all chips and fries in America were cooked in beef talo, real fat. That's really good for you. And then big corporations said, oh, you know, we could swap that for

like the cheapest process seed oils imaginable. It's basically jet engine fuel, but who cares?

It costs a lot less. So now, seed oils make up about 20% of the average Americans' daily calories. And people are walking around in flamed, sluggish, and confused. Why am I so ugly?

“Why am I so fat? It's the seed oils. That's why Vandy crisps exist. Three ingredients,”

heirloom potato, sea salt, 100% grass-fed beef talo. No seed oils, and it tastes like food. The talo isn't just for flavor. It is packed with nutrients that are great for your skin, brain, and hormones. When you snack on Vandy, you feel satisfied, light, energetic. Don't get a crash. No blow. No why did I do this to myself moment? And because they're actually satiating, you're not blacked out at the bottom of the bag five minutes later. Simon.

There were 100% American-made zero compromises. Best chip I've ever had. My boss's favorite

to give Vandy a try, go to vandycrisps.com. Use code Alex Clarke for 25% off your first order.

“That's vandycrisps.com code Alex Clarke for 25% off. If you don't feel like ordering a line,”

that's fine. Do what Simon does. Vandy is now available at sprouts. Stop by. Pick up a bag before they're gone. My neighbor tried to get a claim approved for an ER visit after he passed out his kid's soccer game. Insurance denied it. Why? Because it quote wasn't a true emergency. He was unconscious in public, paramedics involved, but somewhere in a cubicle a guy named Trent decided, you know what? He probably could have scheduled that fainting episode for Tuesday at 215 p.m.

That's the system. And I talked about this when I interviewed Andy from crowd health on this show last spring and it clicked, we have normalized begging permission from corporations for basic care. Especially when it comes to pregnancy. Listen up ladies. If you're in that season where you're thinking about having a baby or you're already pregnant, you've probably realized the way you

want to deliver doesn't always line up with what insurance allows. You want a birth center, a midwife,

“a home birth, a du-la suddenly you're treated like you're asking for a private jet. Crowd health”

does it differently. And by the way, this is how we've always given birth until very recently. Well, with crowd health pregnancy is treated as one single health event, prenatal labor and delivery postpartum all together with a $3,000 member commitment. That is your personal responsibility. Just $3,000. No mystery bills, no surprise. That wasn't covered. And here's the empowering part. You choose how you deliver hospital birth center home birth. They allow eligible

funding for things that insurance often won't sort of by du-la's licensed midwives, public floor therapy, lactation support, breast pumps, even necessary home birth supplies. You want to vaccinate your baby. You don't want to vaccinate your baby. They believe it's between you and your doctor. It's a member's funding members, human, transparent, aligned with the kind of care that women actually want. You've got the power to take control of your health care and your labor and delivery.

Join Crowd Health to get started today for $99 for your first three months using code

culture at joyencrowdhealth.com. That's joyencrowdhealth.com code culture. Crowd health is not insurance. Opt out. Take your power back. This is how we win. Joyencrowdhealth.com code culture. The majority of people under 30 are likely not having sex. But for those under 40 who are one-third are saying that they're being exposed to non-consensual violence during sex and the majority of them are saying that it is choking. What is going on with choking in sex? So sexual choking is a really

it's become very trendy in recent years. What I found really interesting is that when you look at the coverage of this, both in research and media, I would say less than even a decade ago, when this first start again reported on, women would say, I don't like this. I don't know what's going on. I would go home with someone. They would interview this one who had experiences like this and they would say non-consensual violence during sex. So choking, being spat on, being called

names, being slapped, and hit things like that. They would say, I don't know where these men are getting the idea that this is acceptable or that I'd want them to do this. And what I find interesting so that's millennial women. And now, a days what we see with Gen Z women is that they will experience the same things, but they're more inclined to say that they like it. Or they will ask a male partner to actually do it. They'll initiate it themselves. I don't believe that most women

regardless of generation actually wants to be strangled during sex. One is potentially fatal. So you can die. There's no safe way to do this. There's a very high chance of losing consciousness, brain damage, permanent mental health issues down the line, especially if you have any form of

“loss of consciousness or or sell brain death. Why are Gen Z women more likely to say they like it?”

Because they grew up watching porn from a very young age or they were exposed to porn at such young age. If the first time that you experience having an orgasm, it is watching something violent, which you often see in pornography. Does that rewire your brain to seek violence and sexual encounters? Previously, I would have said no, but now the kids are seeing this, it's such a young age. I do think there's a risk there, especially in boys. I think for women on average, our

sexual system is not hospitable to violence during sex. Because historically speaking, a woman has sex, she can become pregnant. And it doesn't make sense for her to enjoy violence during that act because that's not going to be good for a growing fetus or for her to take care of the child once, here she is born. So there are all these things in place in terms of women's bodies that would not, you would not expect a woman to become sexually

roused by violence or being hurt during sex or being humiliated or degraded by her partner. So for some women, that is the case. I do enjoy that sexual massacism. I'm more likely to believe that's due to some form of abuse or neglect or if you think we're lying to ourselves to just

saying this in the past, but I actually went back and reanalyze some data that I collected when I

was still in academia. And I found a similar finding that physical violence is more severe, tends to be more severe, people who are into BDSM. So this is not just like a fun thing the people like to do on the side is a hobby. It's actually the sign of some form of psychological trauma. But yeah, do you think also if you were a young age or viewing this on your phone, you know your parents give you a phone didn't know that this is what you would potentially be seeing.

And you think this is what men like. I guess I don't have a choice but to like it. Otherwise, I'm just not going to have sex then. So that could be part of also why women are turning away from sex because they're saying, well, I don't really want men to hurt me during this activity. Our women also being choked in everyday romantic encounters as simple as kissing.

“I have heard of some situations like that. I think it depends on the guy and how socially”

skilled he is because I would like to think that most men would know that if you're kissing,

women you don't put your hands around or throw out ever. You would think that. And I don't blame the, again, the young men who are seeing this again. They're being exposed to this. I mean, I've heard cases of kids seeing porn at the age of four, which is so devastating. But the average age that a child sees porn now is 12. So even at that age or 10 or younger is just so inappropriate. And if they see this, they don't know what it is. But it will start to register in their minds

that this is what sex is. So there are some guys out there who may do it because they think this is what women want me to do. And if I don't do it, I'm boring and bad. I'm bad and bad. There are other men who do like it because they're sadistic. They want to hurt their partner. I would highly recommend staying away from men like that. I do think for older generations of men before internet porn. If a guy is into violence during sex, he's probably very anti-social.

I don't think it's the porn that made him that way because he would have developed his views about women and would have had sexual experiences before pornography. Or he might have seen like one centerfold. And it's not like today where online porn is so easily accessible. It's so extreme. I do think it is affecting kids and potentially affecting their sexual development. Well, actually, there are studies showing that the kids will display more problematic sexual behaviors.

They will act out sexually against their younger family members. They're classmates and really horrific things. When I was doing the audiobook for sex action, I got emotional reading that passage. But just what some of these girls are experiencing as a result of, you know, boys in their classes watching porn. What were some of them? I don't know if I can see on your podcast. You can believe that if it's too much based on the things like golden showers,

they would hold down their female classmates and do things like that. Or they would age or these kids.

“I think there was young seven. What? Yeah. It's it's really bad. That's unreal. But even”

things like sawdemy like in children. Oh, it's it's really horrific. And so I would say and parents listening, please, you have to have this conversation with your child younger than you think they need it because statistically speaking, they will be exposed to this a minute they're on the internet, even if they're not looking for it intentionally. And they need to know that this is not what sex is and that they can come to you and talk about it, especially if they

feel afraid or confused, they're not going to get in trouble and just to have that open communication. Because the last thing you want is for a child to feel like they have to deal with it on their own, or that this is somehow healthy sexuality because that's what the culture is telling us that this is fun. This is playful. I mean, if I think if you are in an emotionally stable, healthy relationship and you enjoy, you know, being playful with your partner, you enjoy passionate sex, that's fine.

I don't think all sex has to be missionary, you know, like saying I love you the whole time.

“I think somebody assumes that, that that's what you're saying. Like, I'm sorry, they're not”

very bright. I feel like, you know, like that should be obvious. That should be very obvious. Egg freezing is marketed as buying time. What are people not reading about in the brochure? That it's not 100% guaranteed. And yes, you can buy time, but not indefinitely. That the procedure of getting your eggs frozen can be actually quite painful and time consuming and expensive. What do you mean by painful? Because I've not heard that. I have not gone to the process myself,

but I did extensive research for this book and I did do a consult to see what it would consist of. And so in terms of, I can tell you how they extract the eggs. I mean, there's a whole schedule in terms of the different medications you need to be self-injecting so that you're stimulating your ovaries to produce more eggs. Then you have a trigger shot that is when you release all the eggs so that they can be collected and then those eggs are going to be frozen and then later

either fertilized and implanted or, you know, stored until you need them. So women who undergo this process, you know, there are all these physical side effects in terms of the self-injecting and also the hormonal effects, the emotional effects, and then when the eggs are actually extracted,

they will go in using a very, very large needle and basically go in probe through your vagina

and pierce into the ovary to suck out the eggs. And you're awake? I'm usually under anesthesia,

child and she's not able to without this technology, who might disheller not to, who might

“to tell them not to. That's my personal opinion, but at the same time, I think it's important that we”

have these conversations and to say to women if you can do this naturally, I, in my opinion, that would probably be the better way to go because it's going to save you all of this money, time, pain, and you don't know again that if you go down this path, it's necessarily going to work. Do fertility clinics have a conflict of interest in telling women how much time they actually have to have a family? I do wonder, I mean, I've seen some women vlogging about this. There's one

woman who was, um, I can't remember. I believe she was in her early 40s. She had done 12 rounds of egg freezing, not gotten a single viable egg and she was going in for another round after. So I don't

know that she was necessarily telling the truth, but assuming she was, I wondered, is her care team

giving her honest information because in terms of egg freezing, the best period from the research literature is mid 30s to about late 30s, right? Once you get into 40s, you're getting close to menopause. And so if she knows that and she still wants to go ahead with it, that's her choice, but I wonder, you know, to go through that process that is so laborious on your body and to be not getting the result that you're hoping for, I'm not sure why someone would do that. So let's say

a 33 year old, 32 year old woman goes into a egg freezing clinic and gets that done. What is she not being told about life birth rates? There can be side effects to the child and to the mother in terms of that process and in terms of, you know, like miscarriage, gestational diabetes, there are effects also with increased age in fatherhood as well. So kid men, they're a reproductive window is a little bit more forgiving than women's, but it's not like it can go on forever

and that there aren't effects to the child either in terms of chromosomal abnormalities, the higher risk of autism, schizophrenia. Even if it does, it goes according to plan, if you can't find a partner, I mean, that would, I would think be the biggest determinant, right? You can have all the eggs frozen. Now, with the retrieval process, there are several steps in terms of getting the best eggs, but they don't necessarily, as you get older, your ovarian reserve gets

smaller. So if you're eggs and they're less healthy with age. So they may not survive being frozen, they may not survive being thought and then also being re-implanted later with sperm after being fertilized. So that's one piece of it. And then you see some women deciding to go out on their own and being single mothers by choice, which, again, I'm not going to tell women what they should do,

“but I think it would be better to have a partner to have a father for that child. Yeah,”

it's better for the child. It is. That's the thing when you become a parent, you're choosing to become a parent. It's not about you. It's what are we doing? That is the best for the child. In every single piece of research we have, you can speak to this more of the meat, shows that children fare better with biological mother in their life and a biological father in their life. It is just the way it is. There's unfortunate effects associated with fatherlessness. So I don't think bringing

a child into the world that into a situation that is by design without a father. Exactly. It's going to be a positive one. Yeah, it's creating them purposefully putting them in that situation as opposed to taking a child out of a less than ideal situation with adoption or whatever. That's different. But to create a life purposefully without a mother or without a father, that's where we get into children's rights issues and ethics, I think. I agree with you. I think once children

enter the picture, it really should be about them 100%. And so like I was saying earlier, in terms of women's work, life balance, if you do have a child, I don't think it's impossible for women to be really successful, say they're current and have children. But I do think the focus should be if you decide of a child for both parents, the focus should be on the child because the child they're not used to be born. You say that IVF actually doesn't fix the underlying

“fertility decline. I think a lot of people feel like we have this amazing technology, this is going”

to fix the birth rate decline that we're in right now and people having this inability to get pregnant. You say that it actually just works around it. What does that mean? It's just a bandage solution, right? And at the end of the day, if a woman's body is not healthy, then those health issues are going to persist even after if she does successfully have a child. And so I would like to know why is it that women are not getting the care that they need and

that they deserve so that it fixes the underlying problem? It seems like it's very easy to go down this other route of technology and finding solutions that maybe are financially a bit more lucrative? I feel like it's the opposite of Maha because making America healthy again means we've got to get to the root cause and asking questions about what is causing, for example,

infertility in the first place. IVF doesn't do that. Now, NAPRO technology does that.

NAPRO doctor will do that. But your IVF clinic, they're not run, there's a lot of things that they're

not for case for everyone. But I think for some people, like for myself, I used to eat tons of junk food.

I was, I'm now I'm a complete health freak, like I'm obsessed with health and wellness. But before that, I can tell you it's a lot easier to eat junk food, eat ultra-processed food, not work out, not go outside, you know, be just working all day long. And for some people, it's just easier to say, okay, well, if I can't get pregnant naturally, let me just do this instead, right? And so it has to be this really cohesive holistic choice to say, I really want to figure out what's going on with my body.

And that can take more time and effort, and for some people, they may not have the time or they may not be interested in it as well. You have a watch sponge, Bob, as an adult. When you're a kid, it's like, uh, funny sponge. When you're grown, you're like, uh, this man lives in a pineapple. He works nonstop. He worships his boss and he survives exclusively on crabby patties. Ooh, reality check. That's America.

That's most of us. That's me. We're all down there in bikini, behind a pretending to drive through burger has the nutrients that we need to thrive. And then we want to know why our legs hurt.

“That's why I take paleo values grass fed Oregon complex every morning. Now, before you panic,”

I'm not telling you to fry up a liver at 7 a.m. like your homesteading in 1840. Nobody wants that. In a perfect world, we'd all eat raw ore going to meet to preserve the fragile nutrients and enzymes, but we live in apartments and have neighbors. So paleo valley freeze drives three different organs, liver, heart, and kidney from 100% grass fed pasture raised cows, not just one Oregon like most brands and not spray dried at high temps that wreck everything good inside, freeze dried,

gentle, preserved, nutrient deaths, organs are traditional super foods packed with vitamins, minerals, things your body actually recognizes, energy, skin support, real nourishment without the taste, without the cooking, without feeling like sponge Bob clocking in for another shift fueled by mystery meat. By the way, what was in the sea? Good formula. I saw conspiracy theory that it is actually plankton meat. If you want the benefits without pretending you're on a survival show,

this is it, head to paleovalid.com, use code Alex for 15% off your first order that's paleovalid.com

“code Alex for 15% off. Simon says it was actually crab as the secret because the only crab and”

all of bikini bottom was Mr. crabs. You'll spend $1,800 on European linen sheets, Hannah, you'll save your house, Erica, you've got the beige aesthetic, Brittany, the bouquet chair, Whitney, the little diffuser, misting, you clip this like you live in an antsy mire's movie. Rebecca, and then under the sink, a glowing line up of chemical warfare. Your house looks like heaven on Instagram, reality, it's a hormone dungeon, synthetic fragrances, and decryndus

ruptures, mystery chemicals and sprays, wipes detergents, we wonder why little girls are starting puberty at nine years old, nine personal care products, cleaning products, plastics, ultra-processed food, we've turned our homes into low-grade science experiments, and that is why I switch to branch basics, and I have gifted it to everybody that I care about. Anyone that I haven't gifted it to, I guess you're finding out now that I don't really like you. Their premium starter

kit replaces basically everything with one plant and mineral-based concentrate, everything in

your sink. Gone, no synthetic fragrance, no harsh chemicals, branch basics works. I use it on counters, bathrooms, as windshield wiper fluid, you could literally clean your butt with it, carpet cleaner, a poultry cleaner, laundry, even wash your produce. One concentrate simplifies everything, and it is safe for kids, pets, the whole family, and here's the wild part. It is very cost effective, arguably way less than you're spending right now on cleaning products. Each bottle average is

actually like $2.13, so you're not paying more to just poison your air. If you're going to curate your home like it's a luxury retreat, maybe don't gas the occupants. Make this year the year that you say goodbye to toxic products. Branch basics, have I convinced you yet? I sure hope so. Right now, anybody who listens to my show will get 15% off the premium starter kit by using code Alex 15 at branchbasic.com. That's 15% off your new branch basics premium starter kit at branchbasic.com

with promo code Alex 15. Again, branchbasic.com, promo code Alex 15 for 15% off. Make 2026, your cleanest healthiest year yet with branch basics. If a woman delays marriage assuming IVF will work later, what are the statistical odds that she ends up with the family side she imagined? They have online egg calculators. So if you are thinking about trying this or going down this route, you usually they will tell you to go enter your age and whatever. How many kids you want? It'll give you

a percentage. So it's based on scientific research, like sort of papers have done these calculations and worked out models to figure out. So a woman who's say 35 years old, if she wants to have one child,

“I believe it is a 50% chance if she's has 10 eggs and then is even less than that if she wants to”

children. So it's based on how many eggs you have and obviously the health of those eggs,

marriage, but feels like there's no viable men left. What would you tell her? That's what it's

“tough because you have to choose. Basically, are you going to settle down with someone who you may”

consider to be subpar or keep searching and potentially not find that person? And I think only that individual woman can decide. But I would say I don't think it's impossible for a woman to be with a guy who makes less money than she does or is less successful than she is because he can make up for that in other ways like being a good partner. Asking her how her day was, right? Being supportive of her. A great father. Yeah, exactly. Being invested in her in other ways.

I just think on the whole as an average with women because what you'll see progressive telling women is you don't need a man, but if you are going to, it's totally fine if you're the breadwinner and that's actually like really empowerment who don't feel threatened by a woman who's going

to pay on the first aid and take care of him and all that. And you see some women who will do this,

but I think that they are probably keeping an internal score as to all of the things he does into offset her financial contributions. So yeah, that chapter in the book is very much giving the best advice I can to young women to say, you know, really prioritise this from as early on as you can. I think most women know from a young age what they want from their lives in terms of motherhood, career, how they want to structure things. And if, but if you are at an age where

you're counting the years and you're saying, oh my goodness, what am I going to do? It doesn't have to be so complicated in terms of male female dynamics. I think it's just so polarized right now and I think also men, men are saying women are hypergamous. So they themselves are also internalizing this and saying, well, if I don't make more than she does, she's not going to respect me. So why

would I want that? Yeah, so what do you say to the 25-year-old man who feels demoralized and in behind?

Don't let that to you, really. Just keep put your head down and keep working. And I know it's really again easy for me to say that as a woman and probably as a racial minority, but at the same time what's your alternative? If you're going to sit there and play video games and pay quality long,

“that will be your life in 2030 years. And I think the only thing worse than being where you are”

now is being the exact same place 2030 years now. Oh, that cuts deep. How do we make marriage aspirational again? As a society? What do we need to be doing? What do we need to be talking about? Do we need to be posting ourselves with our families? Like, is it social media? No social media. No social media. Get off social media entirely. Okay. Don't compare yourself for your relationship to anybody else's on social media. It's so toxic. I've held chapter and sex sanction about social

media and how that, what that's doing to dating and relationships and marriages. And it's just made everyone have such a bizarre set of expectations in terms of what they think they deserve or what they want or what people look like. Have you seen these women on TikTok who have like one bad day in their marriage with their husband? And so they they pause on on some video saying like you deserve better or whatever in your marriage. And then the algorithm immediately starts feeding them

all these things about how like you're unhappy in your marriage. You deserve better. You should have a husband that is this and this and they're filing for divorce. Yeah. It's so sad. That is crazy. So a lot of these there are there are women who are asking for a divorce and it's literally

“they're being manipulated by their algorithms. That's why I think everyone just needs to get off social”

media. We all know it's not good for us. I don't think anyone really enjoys necessarily being on there. But it's it's bizarre how deeply it goes and it affects even decisions as major as something like divorce where it creates this false perception of what's normal and we don't have really much transparency in terms of why we're being shown the content we're being shown. You might think like oh this is just like important as opposed to oh it's not because you clicked on this one

thing six months ago and now the platform has been barting you with it because it remembers you looked at it for this amount of time. So yeah I see that with women being told like to leave their partner it's the same with what men are being told in terms of like how women are just gold diggers and using them and how they're all going to cheat on you and you're going to end up divorced and losing half of your assets and also not being able to see your kids. In terms of

how to make marriage better I mean I've listened to young men say things like divorce not be allowed that should be one way to incentivize that would invent incentivize young men to want to get married but it's interesting because men still want marriage more than women do. So across the board I think one solution would be to get rid of DEI to allow men to succeed because if men are more successful women naturally are going to find that sexier so they're going to want to pair up

with these men. We really think of DEI as as putting my nordies in positions based on race and not merit and I think we kind of forget the the sex component of it that we're also just putting women in general in positions based on being a woman and not based on merit and and so you're saying that's creating this really uneven playing field. Yeah and I do wonder also for say people if there's a large movement here that's not really being explicitly talked about of people who are

people on the planet. So one way to do that would be to make it so that women don't want

to have children and make it so that women don't want to get married and paired up. So I wonder if all of this social engineering making helping women get ahead and be more successful they know that women are not going to want to pair up with a man who's less successful and is that in some ways helping them achieve the goal that they want. Sextinction is now available it just came out what didn't you cover in the book that we didn't cover today. AI boyfriends and girlfriends that was

probably my favorite chapter to write it was a lot of fun to research it was also very scary to me how realistic these AI companions are have you have you ever tried any of them? No and you know I didn't realize this till this week because um did you see that crazy viral article about that guy wrote about AI and like the future where we're headed with AI it was like millions of clicks on

his sub stack or whatever it was like it was like broke records because people were blown away because

he works in AI he's like here's where we're going he talked about how like if you use the free version for example of chat GBT it is like years behind even the paid version and then there's other versions beyond that which I didn't know so I just paid for the paid version of chat GBT to just see and I'm like oh okay wow he's totally right so when I was reading your book and the AI chapter because you were like calling these bots on the phone they like talk like a regular person and I didn't even know

that existed so you open my eyes to a lot and I am freaked out yeah it's so crazy how realistic it was I didn't think that they would be that realistic because with AI if you're if you're dealing with one in terms of customer service or even if it's like a personal assistant or personal assistant they tend to be a little bit laggy and annoying they usually are not that effective but this was like a whole other world I also did a chapter on sex robots and sex dolls in terms of that community

which was very enlightening for me also plastic surgery plastic surgery trends in terms of what's motivating them man are also getting plastic surgery more so nowadays looks maxing I know is also getting very popular in terms of what people are talking about hammering themselves hammering themselves yeah getting even young prepubes and boys are looking into getting hormonal interventions so that they will have you know like stronger bra bone development and they'll have

“a longer period of puberty so they can grow taller things like that that has to be one of I think”

one of the most disturbing catastrophic mistakes you could let your child make because those are our guys that are going to end up potentially completely sterile from being on those drugs and chemicals at such a young age right yeah and especially if some of them are doing if they're buying it off the internet they don't even have medical guidance when they're doing it it's yeah really frightening oh only fans selling news prostitution sugar

babies and just how this is being marketed as young women but don't I mean I'm sure your audience is smart enough to know like don't play into the hype of getting that money because it will stay with you for life that stigma the quotes that shaming will follow you for the rest of your life and it will affect the type of men who want to date you and whether or not they want to settle down with you but also you talked about I believe that it's there's like a three-year honeymoon period

of doing sex work and then that three-year hit and you were like what have I done with my life I am miserable I'm depressed right right they found that in strippers and there was also

“an article I believe it was business inside or I quote it in the book where this woman was talking”

but how she she started selling her news thinking it was going to make her feel more empowered as a woman and then after three years she was suicidal and it really speaks to how yeah you could make a time money sure but what is the cost of that and also I think there's such a perception or there's such a message that for women it's about getting the money doing whatever takes you at the money if you're being sexualized you don't like that society's sexualizing you it will just make money

off of it and that makes it okay instead of saying I thought women were worth more than their bodies and their their sex appeal so why aren't we talking about that sex addiction is available wherever books are sold and where can people follow you in social media I don't like to use social media but if they want to follow me the please do I'm at Dr. Deborah so and you can also see me at Dr. Deborah so.com if you could offer one remedy to heal a sick culture physically emotionally

or spiritually what would it be I would say get off your phones in public because you never know

like my experience when I was researching the book I would purposely just talk to anybody I've made a point to not be on my phone in public ever don't have earbuds in or whatever and I found almost in every single situation people are so excited to talk to you everyone is craving connection anyone who existed before the internet wants us to go back to that time that's my sense I mean the internet's been wonderful don't get me wrong there's there's so many

“benefits to it but I think there are some downsides to it and just to put more emphasis on in-person”

connection and also in terms of dating meeting people in real life don't use dating up so I have a chapter on dating up so I'm just the damage I think they've done to male female relationships and how we just interact even in a non-romantic way before we go what is your prediction for

currently from what are seen in terms of the data they seem to be leaning more conservatively

but I also see more polarization with social media because Jen Z and millennials saw the excesses of feminism and now we're seeing the backlash to the excess of feminism so what I sense is the boys and the girls are potentially going to be even more divided because well the pendulum

“queues swimming back and forth but it depends on the age I think with Jen Alpha because they are”

so young they're under age 12 so there's there's still not quite so politically set yet there's still hope I would just say keep your kids off screens please I know that it's you know it's a really nice way to keep kids entertained and it was sold as something educational but I've seen studies showing that it can affect the brain development of these kids they have

“cortical thinnings so basic the brain is not developing properly if they're exposed to more than”

seven hours a day on screens and then what happens is they're problems with most regulation ADHD all these other issues later down the line in terms of their like higher order functioning

so Dr. Deborah so you are a legend you are an amazing incredible talented writer I have

wanted to have you on my podcast for years even before it was culture publicary thank you for coming on thank you so much Alex you know I love you so much I'm so so happy we were able to do this V2 so fat okay thank you I feel like there are probably a hundred follow-up questions you may have or conversations that should be had after an episode like this what disturbed or

“shocked you the most let's talk about it in the key serve it is Facebook group please leave a”

five star review for culture apothecary today it is an almost instant process it helps the show by being more discoverable in the charts for people new episodes come out every Monday and Thursday at 6 p.m. Pacific 9 p.m. Eastern with new expert guests anywhere you get your podcasts find the show on instagram at culture apothecary and me at real Alex Clark this content is for informational

purposes only and is not intended to be taken as medical advice always consult with a qualified

healthcare professional regarding any questions or decisions related to your health or medical care am Alex Clark and this is culture apothecary