DERELICT Presents: Desert Skies

"Imagut, Imagünstich, imma vielfältig, kurz gesagt, frische für alle, zum Aldipreis."

“This week, Tafeltrauben, 650 grams, für nur 2,99, oder Kulturheidelbeeren, 125 grams,”

für nur 1,39, in deiner Aldi-Nordvieliale. And weiter gehts, einfach lauschen und genießen. Aldi. "Goodest für alle." "What's going on?"

"There's gotta be a better afterlife than this." "I mean, come on." "That's offensive." "Something seems to be wrong." "You left something major."

"Undone." "I have a lot outside of this gas station." "You know, you quite literally do not have any hobbies?" "Nope. I have a travel boat of interest."

"Are you kidding?" "Oh my God." "You're like a human version of a plain bagel." "Hash register." "How can I help you attend it?"

"Place a music?" "You got it." "It's kind of funny, though. What I needed wasn't back there. It was here.

Waiting for me." "I wonder what it feels like back." "Missed the physical plane of people. You left behind." "You know, I had a wife who died three years ago."

"Well, sure, I could go back." "Oh, you don't need to go back." "You just need to be here."

“"And then you need to do traveller approaches."”

"Ready team." "Ready." "And good. Let's do this. Find desert skies wherever you listen to podcasts." "Hey, everybody. JBM here. Between seasons, we like to share some shows that we are personal fans up and think you might dig as well.

These segments have always been called derelict presents.

And we have a new one for you here today. But before we get into that, I wanted to let you know that we have a lot of really cool things happening behind the scenes for the show right now. And some big announcements coming soon. So, as they up to date on everything coming down the line in 2026, if you're so inclined,

sign up for our newsletter by clicking the link in the episode notes below. Or you can visit derelictpodcast.com/join. We're going to be publishing our newsletter more actively than we have in the past.

“And it's going to be the best way to make sure you don't miss out on any of the exciting”

things we have in stores. So again, you can sign up by going to derelictpodcast.com/join. Or you can just click the link in the episode notes below.

As far as derelict presents goes, we're happy to share with you all the first episode

of another genre fiction podcast where big fans of called Desert Skies. It's a quirky comedic, even heartfelt sci-fi fantasy podcast set in the afterlife and takes place along the road of a lonely highway at a gas station called Desert Skies, astral plane fuel and service station. The staff of the station helped new arrivals get ready to embark on their journey ahead

through the celestial spheres. You'll meet Tindi the attendant, Mac, the mechanic, no connection to the misunderstood VI from our show, and cash the sentient cash register. Over the course of the show, what sort of begins as a slice of life story following new arrivals to the station quickly grows into an action packed and high stakes adventure.

Desert Skies was voted one of Reddit's top fiction podcast and the show has received millions of downloads and thousands of five star ratings. If you like what you hear, the full first and second seasons of Desert Skies are out now and the third season is currently in release, so it's a great time for new listeners to jump in.

You can find Desert Skies on your favorite podcast platform or you can just click on the link in the episode notes below. So without further ado, enjoy the first episode of Desert Skies and thanks for all of

you for your support, as always.

For the best listening experience, headphones are recommended. , although there, if you don't mind waiting just a moment while we get ready,

So this is an exciting time to be here.

“I've actually ridden something up, so I think it's, I'm pretty proud of it.”

It's cool. Where am I? Please hold all of your questions until the presentation is complete, everything will be answered in time. Okay, I think I think I'm ready, you may approach the counter.

Welcome to Desert Skies, traveler, your journey through the physical plane has come to an end, but we are so glad you're here. And I know what you're thinking, where is here, exactly, I'll do my best to explain. Desert Skies, astral plane fuel and service station exist on the lowest sphere of existence

between life and death, or as we like to say around here, between life and the next life.

Yeah, you have no more reason to be afraid. No more reason to fret, nor worry, whatever your needs, we are here to help. My colleague here is the mechanic, or a Mac, for sure, yo. It is his job to service your vehicle in preparation for the journey across the celestial spheres.

I am the attendant, or Cindy, for sure. I told you not to call me that in front of the traveler's will. I think it puts them at ease. I'm trying to create an error of mystique, yeah, well that's stupid.

“Yeah, well nobody asked you, um, what, what's going on?”

Like I said, I am the attendant. It is my job to ensure you have adequate provisions and are well-instructed in navigating the journey through the celestial spheres. Now let me tell you about a selection of products available, uh, and any associated promotions. Second here.

We have all of your road trip favorites, chips, sodas, sunflower seeds, pickled pig's feet that induce a devastating degrees of sadness, it's, uh, trip, um, that's, that's Max Fager, actually. It's just nice to feel something. Before hitting the road, how about one last trip south of the border?

We have an impressive selection of over 34 varieties of microwavable burritos, everything from breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, dessert, and various other flavors. Right, right now if you grab three, uh, you'll receive a portable microwave to take with you on your journey. It has a little, uh, cigarette lighter adapter, hell of a deal if you ask me.

Are you dealing with the regret of never having accomplished anything significant in your

life? Punish yourself appropriately with some flaming hunt now enough turn off the music. What's wrong? Was I reading too fast? That's, that's fine.

I can start over, uh, where's the rewind? No, no, don't, don't do it again. Look, I need some answers. Five minutes ago, I'm sitting at home eating a plate of toast to waffles. This thing I know, I'm driving down a deserted highway, then pulling into a gas station

in the middle of God knows where, and you stop reading off some brain melting specials of the day with Gimli here. I just want to know what's really going on. Give it to me straight, am I high right now? Possibly.

But that's irrelevant. You're here because you're dead. This is your last stop on your way to the great beyond. It's our job to make sure you're prepared for the ride. Uh-huh.

And what if I don't believe you?

“What if this is all just some kind of sick dream, huh?”

Some elaborate prank. Look, I understand this experience can be jarring, especially if your death was sudden or unexpected. I can't remember, but I probably went through the same emotion during experiencing right now.

Let's take a argument, let's say you're telling me the truth. What's to keep me from driving back the direction I came from, huh?

No pun intended.

There's nothing keeping you from that, I mean, we can't stop you, but I don't recommend

it. Yeah, and why is that? Microwaveable burritos. What? What does that supposed to mean?

I'll show you, come on, follow me. Our microwavable burritos selection. Currently, there are 34 varieties. If you drive back the way you came, there's going to be 35 here. Take a look at this package.

What do you see? Says gut bust a brand microwavable burritos. And there's a face, lady with red hair. Alice is chicken all a king style. Reef the back.

Okay. This delicious microwavable snack is dedicated to Alice McDougle, who attempted to return to the physical realm and retrieve her beloved cat Wallace. We honor her brave effort. What the hell is this?

Just keep reading. In accordance with the governing rules of the astral plane, the full essence of this individual's existence, desires, purpose, and romantic history has been meticulously crafted into this autosynth style burrito. Taste the flavor of life.

So that's ground up lady in here? No, God, no, that's disgusting. This isn't her physically, it's the flavor and texture of her existence. Which apparently tastes like diced chicken in a cream sauce. It's actually pretty good.

Congratulations, friend.

I've heard some crazy shit in my life, but I've never heard anything like that.

But you know, I bet I'd be chicken. Some kind of chicken burrito. Why do you say that? So I don't want those placemats that had Chinese restaurant. I was born in the year of the chicken.

I think you mean rooster. Really? I always thought it was chicken.

“I think I'd rather be a chicken than a cock.”

You know? Oh, God. I need a cigarette. You got those? Huh?

A brand that doesn't taste like devastating sadness or contained the essence of someone's great grandma? You're everyone in mind. Thank God, something I can actually use. I know these things are awful for you.

I'm not sure you've got to worry about that anymore. Come on, buddy. Let's take a look at that car beers. That's the other thing. I don't even own a car.

Then boom, I'm suddenly cruising down the highway in a pure skylark. That's one hell of a car. Sure, I'm not complaining. But that's not my automobile. And this isn't my beard's natural color.

Yeah, here we are. Come on. Let's get you road ready.

“Hey, Nintendo, or whatever your name is, you really telling me I'm dead?”

It's attended. And yeah, you are. Sorry, friend. Well, ain't that just a kick in the pants? One more question.

This place, at the end of the road. What's it like? Is it nice? Yeah, it's real nice. That's good to know, I guess.

Look, come back and see me before taking off. Okay? Whatever you want, lower to the underworld. Hey, cast register. Hello, Nintendo.

How can I be a service?

I always tell people that what lies at the end of the road is a nice place.

You excel at putting our travelers that he's attended. Yeah, sure, but what if it's a lie? I don't know if it's nice or not. For all I know, it could be a plane of non-existence. I would assume that even a state of non-existence is better than having your essence converted

into a microwavable burrito. Yeah, maybe, I don't know, a lot of people like burritos. Nintendo, as you know, I'm incapable of lying. So you've told me. But you're not.

“I can't say for certain, but I believe that if given the ability to provide comfort”

to frightened travelers, able to travel but one direction, I would allow myself to express confidence that they are headed towards a nice place. You gotless of my uncertainty. You really think that's okay? That's ended.

I am just the computational assistance and service help register.

An astral plane fuel and service center dedicated to the comfort and safety of travelers

embarking on their final journey. Well, it seems to me that level of intentional care would denote a certain amount of good will on the part of our superiors. I don't even know who they are. Do you cash?

I'm sorry, Nintendo. But as I've told you, 473 times, I'm unable to speak to that subject. Unable or not allowed.

“Is there anything else I can assist you with, Nintendo?”

Place a music? You got it. Hmm. Let's do contemplative. [ Music ]

Well, he's all set. Where's he at? Dude's just sitting in his car with his head resting on the steering wheel.

I'd ask what gives, but it ain't like I never seen it before.

I told him to come back in here. What's his story anyway? Geez, I haven't even ran the report. Cash register. How can I help you attend it?

Request the traveler bio for, okay, I didn't even ask his name. I got that from him at least. Name's Lawrence Cobb. Request in traveling biography for Lawrence Cobb. All right, let's take a look here.

Lawrence Cobb, age 42, looks like it was the toaster waffles that didn't mean.

Choked to death, watching television.

“We're not that, that's how I want to go.”

Yeah, well, you are dead, so there's that. And what, you want to die choking on frozen breakfast foods, watching TV? You're judging, you know that. Anyway, born and raised in New York. Manage the electronics counter at a department store.

Hmm, fascinating stuff, but you know what I want. Yeah, I know. There you go, you sick little man. Embarrassing childhood memories, God, I love these. Look, in fourth grade, choked on an ice cube at lunch and threw up all over the table.

How do you even do that? Hmm, says his wife died. Her name sounds so familiar. Debra Cobb, Debra Cobb, Debra Cobb, Cache, do you have a record of a Debra Cobb who was married to a Lawrence Cobb?

Indeed, Debra Cobb, age 36, sudden death, brain aneurysm, Jesus, that's so young. We have so many people come through here, Tandy.

“What makes you think you'd remember some random woman?”

We most have had 20,000 Debra's at Desert Sky's at my time and at least a handful of Debra Cobbs. I don't know. Some people just stick with you, Mac. Yeah, I guess that's true.

There is that one guy who crapped his pants dancing to you. You're the one that I want during a school play. I still got the report pinned up in my shack. You can't make this stuff up. No, you can't.

I think I'm going to check on our traveler. Mr. Cobb? I just want to talk real quick, give me 30 seconds. Please, Mr. Cobb. Stop calling me, Mr. Cobb.

My name is Lawrence. Hey, Lawrence, buddy, you've been out here a while and we're getting kind of worried about you. I'm worried about me. What's there to worry about? I'm already dead.

Dead is such a witty word. You left the physical plane. So what? It's just one plane of existence.

And down that road is another.

And that's your destination. That's the next life. Yeah, well, if it's so great, why haven't you driven down that road, huh? If it's so wonderful, what are you doing out here in the plane of God knows what, Hawking burritos with people in them?

I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You're dead too, right? You must have pulled in here just like me, but you stayed.

“You're right. I mean, I assume that's what happened, but I don't remember a time when”

I wasn't working here. When I wasn't the attendant. I don't remember my life on the physical plane or my real name. I have no idea who I am or even how I died. Jesus, that's messed up guy.

So what's to keep you from going now?

In the car, come on, we'll go together. I know I'd feel better if someone was with me, you know. I'm sorry, Lawrence, I can't. Why not? Because I like what I do.

It may not seem like much to you, but to me, it's everything. It's all I've ever known. Do you know how many Lawrence Cobbs I've had come through here? People like you who get behind that wheel and can't seem to turn the key. In 99.9% of the time, I get them down that road.

I save them from the burrito plane of existence. I help them move on. It might not be so bad being a burrito, you know. A lot of people like burritos. This is true.

You know, I had a wife who died three years ago.

I couldn't do anything without her. Ever since she's been gone, my life's just been one pointless day after another. She might be up there too, huh, down that road. How could I not realize that?

“Tell me, did a Deborah Cobb ever come through this place?”

She did. Well, well, okay, I'm going to get to see her again. Come inside, Lawrence, let's get you what you need. Hey, you got me those corn chips shaped like a dance cap? Indeed, we do.

And you didn't do nothing, we had to it. No need. Those things are weird enough on their own. So go ahead and take a look around the store, Lawrence, and meet me at the counter when you're done.

Thanks. But I can't buy none of this stuff. I don't even have my wallet. And how in the hell are you planning to pay for all that astral grade fuel? I just pumped into your Buick.

We don't take kindly to thieves around here. Hey, now wait just a minute. You didn't say nothing about no payment. I mean, what would you guys even do with money? Uh, nothing at all.

Mac is just being an ass-hat. Yeah, I'm just messing with you, buddy.

“Nobody's got money this side of the physical realm.”

You know what they say? You can't take it. You go. Yeah. Like I said, just grab whatever you like, and I'll be waiting for you right here.

Oh, and don't forget to grab a map. They're on that rack over there by the burrito freezer. There's only one main road that you'll need to stay on. But there are some interesting sites along the way. You might want to check out.

Oh, also, it gets cold once you get past the Martian Spears. So it would help to grab-- Oh. No, no, no. What's wrong?

My Debbie. What about her? I told you. She's been through here, Lawrence. She didn't go down that road.

She tried to go back. What are you talking about? Come see for yourself. See what? That's her face, right there.

Debbie's waffle stuffed burrito. Let me see. It says this delicious, microwavable snack is dedicated to Deborah Cobb, who attempted to return to the physical plane for her dear husband, Lawrence. We honor the sacrifice she made in the name of love.

Damn it. I knew I remembered that name. My wife, the only reason I ever had full living, is a burrito. Oh, a lot of people like burrito. Ooh, OK, I should shoot up.

No, you're right. A lot of people like burritos, but I loved this one. And she's gone.

be together again. I'm so sorry, Lawrence. Case of Rasa Ra.

Could I have a moment alone, fellas?

Of course. Mac. Come in. Or guy, I can't imagine what he's feeling. The thoughts that have to be going through his head right now.

And to think that if his wife could have just waited, they'd be together now. I wonder what it feels like, Mac,

“to miss the physical plane of people you left behind?”

I remember things about the physical plane. Real general things. Telephones, TVs, wars, placemats at Chinese restaurants. But I don't remember me. The only me I remember is the me at Desert Skies.

I've asked Castro request the bios so many times I've lost count. And every time she says the same thing, I'm unable to submit bio-request for current staff. I know I've asked you before, Mac, but you don't remember anything else about me when I got here.

Just the same stuff I told you before, Cindy. You showed up, got out of the car, walked past me like I wasn't even there, did silent. You went inside, I started prepping your vehicle for the journey, and when I went to tell you it was ready, you were already standing behind the counter. The old attendant had slipped out the back and took the car meant for you.

I guess he was finally ready to hit the road.

Funny thing is, I never got back.

“Come here, look at this, what's he doing, he's chewing, what's that in his hand?”

That my friend is Deborah Cobb, the full essence of her existence desires purpose and romantic history meticulously crafted into an artisan-style burrito. Well, I'll be damned, I've never seen a man sob, I need a burrito at the same time. I have. You said you'd never mention that again.

Hey, Lawrence, you all right, yeah, you know what, I am. I think I'm ready to go, but you don't have anything. Don't need anything. You don't have to, but be sure you don't want to grab some snacks for the road. At least let me grab you a map.

No need, I ain't stopping. Well, okay then, sounds like you're ready.

“As I'll ever be, thanks fellas, for everything.”

And that was the last time that we ever saw Lawrence Cobb. As his tail lights faded into the distance, we were reminded of the power of love, and its ability to cause wandering souls to find resolve. Perhaps, each one, I'll give it a rest, Mac. Look, he's turning around, maybe he's coming back for something.

I don't think so, he's not slowing down. And there he goes, nothing he could have done, Tandy. I really thought he was going to make it, who's just saying he didn't, seems to me like he made it exactly where you wanted to go. A freezer out.

Come on, Tandy. We got a 35th variety now, let's see what it is, we're going to need a bigger freezer. You go ahead, I'm going to submit my Traveler report. Hey, cash. Hello, attended.

I'd like to submit my Traveler report for Lawrence Cobb. I am ready to catch your report. Another traveler has come and gone.

Lawrence Cobb never departed for his trip across the celestial spheres.

It seems that he found a reason to head the other direction. It's different this time though, he wasn't trying to return to the physical plane, at least

He knew what the outcome of driving that direction would be, and that seemed to be his

intention. Follow the path that his dearly departed Debra had taken just three years before.

I hope he found what he was looking for.

That's the end of my report, cash.

“Offensive and succinct attended, will you be needing anything else?”

Yeah, it's probably time we've requested a second freezer.

34 varieties of microwavable burritos is just about all we have room for. Looks like you're not up to 35 varieties just yet, but what do you mean? Here you go, look for yourself.

“Lawrence and Debbie's chicken and waffle stuffed burrito, and read the back.”

This delicious microwavable snack is dedicated to Lawrence and Debra Cobb, who's loved for one another, transcends the boundaries of the known planes. May their essences enjoy an eternity of our tisinal bliss together. Taste the flavor of love.

“Let's take a look at the other traveler, looks like it's time to get back to work.”

Let's take a look at the other traveler, look at the other traveler, look at the other traveler. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. The Fable and Falling Network is the Fable and Falling Network. Take a more off-trip at Weiser.e. Shrekstrich, great Britannian.