The Jason Sudeikis Episode

Jason's a day. Yes. Because of the giant kiss. Yes. [LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING] No! [LAUGHTER] I'm scared of that. [LAUGHTER]

You guys, do you guys beat? Do you optimize everybody? No.

“Every single bite, I'm looking to take the best piece of the meat”

to have the right, just an amount of sauce with the right piece of arugula. And then I create the perfect bite every time. Check. What's up?

I got one word for you. New sheriff in town. Premium. Why is the box black? Because it's fancy.

It's classy. And you know what today? Today is a classy day. Because we have none other than Jason's a day kiss. Mr. Sudekis.

I think it's Sudekis. Is it Sudekis? Jason's Sudekis. I think it's Sudekis. No, it's not.

It's Jason's Sudekis. Sudekis? Yeah.

It's never heard that in my life.

I like Jason's Sudekis. Sudekis. OK. Well, it's a very important day, because this is the first time we've ever had.

You don't need to. Someone who's wanted to amy it. Plus, this is Parmijano stuffed crust pizza from dominoes. You see that? Great cheese pool.

Wow. Hold on. Caviar. Wow. It really goes great with slice.

Just slice sauce from dominoes is great. Is that so unbelievable? Come here, big boy. All right. I have nothing but respect for the emibody.

Oh, my god. You can talk to Jason Sudekis. I'm excited.

“Jason, I think in this man is an absolute pillar of comedy.”

And I've never met him. And I really think that we're going to really hit it off. All right. This way. Hey, you prioritize.

Go ahead. Oh, OK. Stop kidding. Sorry. That's a lot.

How you have to jump over it. Did you know this is our first time meeting? I know. That's all I know now. What are you doing?

I just-- It's your first time meeting. I just bit into an onion. That's all right. Tell him.

I have-- this will maybe come up, knowing Benny, but I have no sense of smell. Really? I was going to wake to bring it out. I know, but onion, onion, breath is like--

OK. Tell him that one story. Real quick. I'm going to ripen it right when I shit my pants. And so there was a dog shit everywhere.

And I fart and I just-- like, fills my underwear. I'm a kind of guy who, when you play, you're like, don't leave him. Shooter.

Oh, I'm mass. Do that. I'm that. Oh, no. Oh, my god.

Look at that. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Like, we had all these dogs at the show. Because the whole premise of that episode

was it was an episode for dogs. And so there was like, dog shit everywhere. And people were cleaning it up as we're doing our interview. And then putting it in this open container. And so I was like, I bet I could eat a Chimichanga right now

with my head over that basket of dogs. Yeah. That's up the story. Yeah. So literally he goes to this as like someone from the show

go down to the street to get like a burrito. And I'm like sitting over the thing. Just like this. You're looking at us. Looking at it.

Yeah. Nothing. It's like nothing. Wait. But you're whole life.

As far as I remember, yeah. Do you have a weird sense of taste, then? Because you can't smell.

“I think you have a muted sense of taste.”

I think it's taste bud-based. But I do enjoy it. Like, I see like his crazy stuff on there. Like, we're like sushi. Like, uni with like, caviar on it.

I'm like, that's my shit. Because that's got a lot of different textures. A lot of like strong flavors. You just, it tastes like you're eating styrofoam. No, no.

I can taste it. But I'm tasting like, I think it's only tongue-based. I get no nuance.

And the more like, I think incredible, but weird thing is,

I don't remember what things taste like. Sensitive smell is so perfect. I can't remember myself. I can't remember myself. I can't remember myself.

I can't remember myself. I can't remember myself. I can't remember myself. I can't remember myself. I can't remember myself.

I can't remember myself. Before you walked in the door, we were talking. This is how I eat. Every single bite, I really, if I'm being thoughtful as I eat it. Normally, I am, because I think nothing makes me happier than the two meals I have a day lunch and dinner.

Yeah. Why don't you just have one more? I want to be really hungry for the meal and keep this bot. Yeah. You know, two meals.

I optimize the bite. Like, I will take the right amount of chicken and smear it in the right amount of sauce. And put like the right amount of rugola and try to make every bite count. Every bite can be different. Do you eat that way?

No. Not enough. No. I don't care about food or no. I do.

But I like the, the going. You like that. I don't know what to cook. How can you even have like a favorite meal? That's true.

It's probably, it's texture. It's definitely Mexican food. It's interfacing with Mexican food. Perfect. Why is it Mexican?

Because you can you deal with it. So you show up and you get chips and salsa right away. And I usually show up hungry. That's why. Do you know what I'm trying to do?

Do you know what I'm trying to do? Do you know what I'm trying to do? Do you know what I'm trying to do? Do you know what I'm trying to do? Do you know what I'm trying to do?

Do you know what I'm trying to do? Do you like the best baby change or ever? No. I am very good at it. You would be, but you know what I mean?

I always thought, like, what am I doing?

I should be in the FBI because in every movie, you know, they get that stuff. And they put, they smear it on. I'd be like, I was just walking.

Yeah. I wouldn't know where the cadaver is. Yeah.

Where's that little sniffy thing we always sniff?

I mean, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a, if it's like a, Yeah. You can smelling salts or vapor well. It's kind of like that. It is like that.

But it's the, it's the new one. But you can't do new on. Yeah.

“Is this been a big part of who you were as a person for your whole life?”

Because a kid didn't even come out. I don't even come out as a kid. Because kids only, it's farts and pizza, right? And then it was, I was, it was farts and pizza. But no, it's such a big part of farts.

I know. So like, I'm, are you just sitting there being like, You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

The sound is great. The sound is very, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? It smells like, like, you had a gas. What would you say shit smells like?

Like, like, what? Like, what is, what is his into? I don't know what shit smells like. I know. So what do you ever have?

Have you ever had a shit so bad? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Like, Olivia would do, like, we were together. She would describe shit.

She would describe spelt smells. Would try to describe, like, what it is. You know, it's, you know, two little kids. And Otis has always had a good sniffer. And I remember being like, he's like, two, just look at him.

I go, buddy, you can already do something that I can.

Like, never could, at two.

And then he would just, like, play with my nose and go. Is your something up there? Is your something up there? Or is it something up there? Like, what if you just go, I go nothing but nothing.

And it's like this. I've never met anyone like you. I don't know anyone that can't smell. Wait a minute. What if you stink?

Do you know if you stink ever? I don't know. That's bad. I don't think I do, but I'm also not obsessive about it. Where I'm like, I wear the same deodorant.

And people, like, they like it. They like it. They like it. No. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. When I was dating or, or, or, or, or, or, or, you know, in partnership with one of me too. I've never been with someone who's like, hey, where this column. No.

I have a really good idea for like an activity that we could do the other day. That just came up in my head.

“But I think no one else would think it's a good idea for a good activity.”

Are you posing? No. Just what? Just stretching. Oh, what does the activity?

Let's hear it. I instacart laxatives. Shit in a plastic bag. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Can you smell it? It's a game. It's a game. No.

That will take no. That will take no. I will. I will be talking. Yeah.

I would love. Yeah. I would love. Of course you would. You're doing.

I think. As a kid, me and my group of friends, that would do what we were doing that day. And I don't think we should do that because it's a ridiculous thing to even bring up. I actually don't.

But I'd be amazing, like, to have someone that's a professional, like, a fecalist if that is a real thing. No, no. He's going to shit. What if he's a smelly shit?

Well, that. I'm down to do that. I mean, do you have something to ask to take a shit? Do it right now. I don't want to say anything.

Do you need a bug? You're in the fight. I don't want to say anything. Do you need a bug of your belly? You're going to squat.

You're going to squat. You're going to squat. You're going to squat. You're going to sit. You might be able to smell his shit.

He's got the type of shit. He's got the type of shit. He's got the type of shit. He's got the type of shit. I've never.

Order this stuff. Do you want me to order? You're like, this is so offensive. We. We.

I think it's not the very end. No. No. No. No.

He has the type of shit. Let me tell you what. I'm here for three days. Right?

“That sounds like it's like at some point you're going to shit.”

Just. I'd like. Why do you call him Chuck? Are you? Why?

He's got a shit in the bag and you smell it and that's like Chuck. No. Chuck. It's like your mom using a full name. It's Chuck.

It's not even a good story. Yeah. It's like my shitty one. No. That was great.

It's basically based on the bar for love. Basically we're best friends. Yeah. We had nicknames for each other. The nickname evolved into Chuck.

It was our thing. Dave got a little upset because I started calling a few of our friends. He's like a compulsion. But you probably noticed. Even though I too call him Chuck.

Yeah. You probably haven't seen me ever call him Chuck. Yeah. Because he's a compulsion before he speaks. He likes to say Chuck.

Well, no.

He's never really played ever in my life.

So he's close friends. Yeah. I'd other. Other people are Chuck. Only.

Not only. No. Only. There's two people that are Chuck. And then three, two and a half.

And then. Who's a half? Don't. We don't want them. We don't want them to know.

And what? But. We don't know that. Then we put it on his TV show. Right.

And now the whole world calls us Chuck now. No. But you guys started it. Chuck just call you out. So many people call us Chuck in this show.

They both took. Yeah. We call each other Chuck. And like in the show, we're like best friends. And we start calling each other that.

So every day of my life, a person calls me Chuck. It is not him. That it's a random person. Yeah. Because you oversaturate.

You gave it to the you gave it to the you gave it to the people. No. I personally run it. And then you run it to the mass. You at final.

Yeah. You run it to the mass. You kept it. You kept it in there. You run it.

I kept it in there. I thought there's charm to it. It is. It is. It is.

Absolutely. You want it. We're considering calling you. B.J. Yeah.

Benny. His name is Benjamin. Just. Don't know what calls him. B.J.

Yeah. Now. Do you want to know something interesting?

I do want to say what. But not anymore. Yeah.

“The craziest thing was for the first season and a half.”

It was so hard for us to act. Because we wanted to call each other Chuck. Because we called each other. So we had to like. Well, I still.

Yeah. It was so hard. No. Sometimes I edit Chuck's out of the show. Yeah.

Because there's so many. Yeah. That was. You don't even know that it. He doesn't know.

For Chuck Phil Chuck. For Chuck Phil Chuck. I know how much would would would Chuck. Would Chuck would. I did that really well.

Would Chuck. Would Chuck. Would Chuck. I like Chuck. I just knew.

I was making a dumb. I thought I was like. Can I ask you an outfit based question.

But based on this outfit or one that I've never in a pass.

That one right there. Yeah. What do you want in the past? You who? I did.

Sam. Yeah. Sam. Favorite hoodie. My son Otis went out shopping with my sister Chris and her partner Rachel.

And they bought this. And he was wearing it one day. There's probably about eight months ago. Like, like, and I was like, I love that hoodie. I'd check the skew.

Things. You got the number. Looked it up. They sold it in in. No, it's all sizes.

I bought two. Then we're in London shooting this last season. I come down stairs. He's getting ready for school. And he's like sitting at the table.

And I can walk in. And he just sort of looks. He likes about the blow up my spot. And he goes night. He goes, I have that hoodie.

I go, I know. And he comes up and walks up. And he's like, this tall. And he just comes up to me like this. And he just picks these up because these are really good to chew on when you get anxious.

I know. And they're fucking hard. His apporn the shreds. Yeah.

“Like, that's how I can tell who's his who's.”

All right. I just human being. A little bit more than I realized. Yeah. I don't see him anxious at all.

Like I can see him. But that's why I become myself. Sometimes you can kind of see it even in the people that are not. But I don't even see it anywhere. I don't do it.

I like, I like, my anxiety comes out. Like, I definitely have a small version of Tricketylomaniac. Like, I pull out. What's that? Like, we pull out hair.

Oh. Like, I tell you. I'm excited. Just to know what that was. Did you?

Like, I've never made it.

Maybe. I heard about I heard it. It was one of the long words I've memorized as a kid. Yeah. I was like, he went.

- I promise you. - All that is from it is exciting. - Or like when writing, like if there's been like writing session that we've just been thinking and sitting there and I'm like watching my mustache and I pull it out though my makeup, gal will be like,

"Oh, you're writing this weekend?" I was like, yeah, 'cause it'll just be like a gap. - Wow, do this? - But I just forget. - Do you have like a CD? - I don't know.

- And there's the same thing with my mustache hairs. - We do, right? - We just pull it out. - We just touch it. - Just feel it. - Yeah, that's like, it feels nice. - I never do that. - I still have hair here, but I go like this.

- Do you stuff to your mustache? - Yes. - What do you do? - When I was young, I used to take mirror and now I pluck it. - I put it in your sun.

- Yeah, and then I didn't work. I put it on my fubes and on my legs and I didn't do anything. - Really? - What does it do, does it like burn? - Like burn?

I remember the smell of it was so strong. It was like cement or something. - I know. - Yeah, you wouldn't. - You would get some buy some mirror, some wax, it is.

This is your card. - How did you do that? - It's fine. - Yeah, it's fine. - These cards are gonna get more full of plants. - 15 more minutes. - Yeah, all right.

- How old are your kids now? - Oh, this is 11 and a half days he's nine. He's almost 12, it'll be 12 an April. - So now you can talk to your kid. You can actually have like real conversation. - Oh my gosh, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah. - What types of things are you guys even taught? Like when your kid's 11, like what's he saying? He's talking about girl, like what's happening? - When he's like really sleepy or when we're talking about

something else, where he's in the back of the car, like he did ask me the other day, like what do you think happens when you die? Like what do you think it feels like? - Oh, he said that.

- Yeah, but what would you say? - I said, I don't know, I guess it depends how you die.

“- You see, we don't feel anything unless it's, you know?”

- How does he know? - What do you know?

- You always answer your kids honestly, like that.

- Yeah. - 'Cause I always wonder, like if your kid asks you and you're like three and they're like three. - I think I'll do the same. - You know.

- Yeah, I think I'll do the same. - But my friend's kid will have to remember this. - My friend, his kid came to him. - And she said, I get sad all the time. And she says, and I don't know why I'm getting sad.

And she said, does anyone else in the world get sad? What is that feeling and why can't I stop it? - And it was like rocked my friend. - Yeah. - He was like, oh, it was a tough question.

- She's, she's very hyper intelligent. And at this point, she was probably like five. - And, you know, she has depression, you know? - No. - And he was like, at that point, he was like,

do I tell her what depression is, do we go into it? He was like, he started crying. Since that day, he promised, like, with both his kids, he was like, I'm always gonna tell the truth. - Yeah.

- And she's totally good, doesn't he mention you know, she's in therapy and all. But it's like, but yeah, it's crazy, like, I think it's good. It is good to tell.

I don't, I don't, I don't know if you guys remember. I have like memories of my parents being really honest and like, open as, as you like ask these questions when I was younger. Come out and I don't think they would say anything

that would be like harmful.

- I don't know if I asked my parents enough questions

like that. - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, do you want to know that we have the world book in Cycle Teas? - Do you want to know something cool though?

- My other friend, right before his dad died, his dad got cancer. And he said, I don't know anything about my dad. He's like, I know like, where he was born. Like, I know like where he worked.

He's like, I have no idea who my dad is as a man. A lot of, a lot of people really don't know their parents that well, they think they do. - I asked so many questions. - Yeah, you do, but I'm saying most people don't.

And he took a tape recorder every day. He went and he asked his dad every question. When did you first fall in love? - Like, no. - No, no, no, no.

- And ask, because most people don't know that stuff. - Yeah.

“- They're like, check, do you know like everything about you?”

- My parents like a book where they can like, right now. - You know what I did, I started, this is what I did. So I had this exactly, totally forgot that I even did this until just now.

And I, and I welcome.

And I have never, yeah, thank you for reminding me

of something that I did. And I've never even watched the footage. - Yes, who did when you had to cry? - No, I didn't, no. - Yeah, but not really.

- You used something different. - Oh, that's different. I'll tell you about that in a second. You remember, I'm gonna tell you about that after that. - Right, right, right.

- Exactly, exactly. And I'll tell you that. - So this is trick, so the trick. - I have my parents sit pretty much where you're sitting. - Really, exactly.

- I heard a videographer, got a nice, good frame, and I just asked them everything. - Your folks. - Yeah, yeah.

“- For no other reason, because I just didn't want to like,”

even leave it to my memory. I wanted them to have all their things. So I just had, and I back it up on all my drives, but then when I started watching it, and I just instantly started crying.

It was the most innocuous, basic question, and just seeing them talk, is if I'm trying to like, immortalize their soul, maybe instantly cry, the other story I was gonna say. So I had a scene in my show where I had to get emotional.

And I thought, I don't know how the hell I'm gonna do this. Like, I started trying to think about sad things in my life by the way, I've had the best life ever. (laughs) - Nothing, nothing came up.

- Yeah, yeah. - It was just behind your back. - It was like, it was like, I don't know, I don't have a roof. - My uncle's time, and I was eight, I had love to go, but I was eight and he died in that sucked,

but like, there's only bad thing that's ever-- - If I think about Mount Everest dying, I mean, that's only bad thing that's ever happened to you. - And his dick, stuff. - Yeah, it's bad.

- My dick's time, I'm a dick in your hair. - My hair. - Yeah. - Like, you don't like this, right? - And you don't like this?

- Like, what's it, what's it, what's it, what's it, - You have to go like-- - Wow. - That's your belt. - That's your belt. - Yeah, okay. - Okay, that is a little flattened back thing. - So, I hire an acting coach for the first time.

- Yeah. - And I say, excuse me, here's my predicament. I got this scene coming up, like every time I haven't had many, like I know people pull from their past experiences, like I don't really have many. I'm like, I think about things that in theory make me sad,

but I, you know, I just have too much awareness of the reality at hand to not like remind myself that I'm sitting on set thinking of this thing. I just can't, like, and I said, "Please help me figure out how to do it." Very shortly after my first consultation with her. - Consultation. - And like hearing how I think and how I talk.

She said, "Okay, look, here's what I would do if I were you."

She said, "If you don't want to leave it up to the chance,

“and like you want it, like, I think I honestly think the best way to go about this”

is you ask your parents to film a video saying, "Good bye to you." And like they're like closing statements and then what it's time, don't watch the video and then what it's time to see and watch the video. And I think you'll be in a good shape. Like, it's good and a lot of, did she talk to your parents too?

Or did she, she recommended that I do that? And then I said to my parents, "So my acting coach is recommended that." And I thought, "And I thought, "Hi, while she was doing, she was, like, saying, "Yes, my mom's literally sort of crying during the thing." - Yeah, but obviously, she's saying goodbye to you.

I watched, like, 10 seconds of it at first, just to see that. Did they even understand what was being asked of them and I was like, "Yes, they do." Didn't watch it until the day. And I, like, watched it, I had, like, a good first take. And then I just kind of got over, I basically got to the point where I couldn't look at the

thing and then put it down and then look up and shoot the whole scene. But I wanted, was to, where I would get the most emotional while I was watching it. But if I'm going like this, none of that footage is, and then I said, "Stit up. It's just not the same." So I had a PA put an iPhone on a stick in the eye line behind the actor that I was talking

to, and an earpiece in my ear, so I could just sit there and watch my eye line right and just listen to it. And that's how I got the scene. And both ashamed and proud that that's what happened. - Well, I think whatever it does.

- Have you ever tried? - Have you ever tried? - Command? - Or, like, in a scene? - Like, yeah, I've had that idea.

- Without your friends, thank you, bye. - Without, no, but I, but I, like, I'm trying to think of things that I have thought. Definitely at one point, you know, certain songs can, can get me, like, for whatever reason, like, just, you know, there's just certain songs that still, like, "Wow." I mean, I, I can pretty, pretty, pretty easily for whatever reason, but the times that I've

- Oh, I'm not saying anything.

- There we go. - Yeah, exactly. - No, no, no, no, no. - You're not crying.

“- You're not crying because you're crying because of, like, what the people are saying?”

You're, like, just being like, "I'm going to cry." - It depends. It depends on the scene. If you stuff that I've written, it's usually something that's already, like, inside me that's, that's come out, like, triggered by something else, but it's usually comes

from a place of regret, of, like, so it wouldn't be, like, having my parents saying goodbye to me, yeah. - It would be me, like, you got a lot of regrets in your life? - I don't, I don't have many, but the couple that I do have, but it's more about the regret of, like, like, oh, the things I would say, if I, if I was saying goodbye, but I do remember

it till that's about one point, I just started about this this morning, oddly enough, was there was one scene where I'm, like, emoting, talking about how the characters father, like, you know, dies, and just sort of thinking about where I got, like, you know, what it's got to look like, you know, and where I got to be. And I remember just, with my eyes closed, being down, just thanking everyone, like, involved

with the show for how much hard work and love they put into it. And it was, like, this tremendous amount of love for the process and the people that have done it, it was during our season two. So at that point, people, we had heard that the outside world liked what we were doing. So they're like, it, but it's nothing that I would feel capable of doing, like, in front

of a bunch of people, because I know it would bring up so much, like, a motion for me to thank a lot of people for giving it that. But maybe because I was like, it's one of those weird athletes with a motion, 100%. But you can't, you don't know the difference on camera, because I'm, you know, I'm talking about my dad's passing and how much I loved him and how, what I wish I would have

done differently before he died, like, and so, so yeah, I'm just thanking all these people. I'd be here as to see, like, that daily. What was the last time you cried in real life? Oh, recently. How are you doing?

How are you doing? Not a message. I feel like I need, like, I feel like I did that. I feel like I did that. A good fucking sob.

We can go there if I get there. I love a good cry. I do too. You know, my favorite type of cry is in the world when you're in the shower and, like, it's, like, arm on, like, the sidewalk and you're just, like, weeping and it's, like,

you can't even catch your breath. Yeah. I love everything's better in the shower. It is. That's great.

You know, I sit. Everything just chills the fuck out.

“Do you know I sit down and every shower I ever get in?”

I do that. Like, on the floor? Every time I take a shower. You want to know how I did it this morning. And what are you doing when you're sitting?

So I got in the shower and first I sat down and I was brushing my teeth in the shower

and I'm sitting like this. I went like this and I laid down like this and spread my legs. There's so much people's shit. I mean, let's stick it in my room. I put one on.

I put one. It's not, and no water was just shooting up my ass. Oh. And I was just sitting there like this and it felt so good. Don't you hate the cold stuff on your seat?

It's normal. It's warm. You know, when you're in bed. I grew up in my how old are you? 50.

A little. Okay. For now. What do you want to say? It's a masterpiece.

It's a masterpiece story. No, it's not a story. I was going to say it's a philosophy. You know, you know how you can't smell. Yeah.

I can't come on my feet. You can't? Not really. Not much. I can.

If I can. But it takes a lot more focus and concentration. But you can. Really? I can.

I can. I can. But I don't want to. You don't want to do anything like too physical.

Like I always kind of go on stage.

There you go. A section. Oh, I just. They're in love. There's confidence.

We're so in love. Look at that. Yeah. That's not all. We drive.

You know, this stuff makes you poop. Does it? Yeah. Dave, if you drink like seven or nine grams of fiber in it. Oh, then maybe you can poop in the bathroom.

Wait. Have you? Well, Domino's. You know what they do every time. What?

They're knocking out of the park. You know what else they do? Oh, it's on first. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something?

I just thought of. It's the best. I just think about it from the back and take a bite from the front. Look who's the best pizza. I'll tell you what.

The sauce. It's a. The sauce. I've got 50 out of 10. It's only 10.

It's my favorite sauce. It's one of the soy sauce. But in here, I'm a pan pizza, or I'm a parmesan sauce pizza crust and dip them in the new soy sauce. I'm getting it.

“And that's how you level up your pizza night.”

So I'm going to wrap up a cab here on and it's real fancy. I'll leave pop time, everybody. Oh, my God. Which flavor do you guys like? When you grab it?

Good black bear. You've been at it enough? I'll take some. Let's build a shoe boot. I'll grab the shoe boot.

I'll grab the shoe boot. Okay. That they brought this one back. They did it by popular demand. Well, why does it?

Spelled shoe boot. Oh, my God. This is the best smelling thing I've ever smelled in my life. Oh, my God. I used to have an ice cream like a sherbet like this when I was a kid in upstate New York with

And she's dead.

It literally just brought me back to this.

By any two cans of polypop and store, and they'll pay you back for one. Any flavor, any retailer, go to drinkolipop.com/fcs. Oh, my God. This is memory lane. Before Ted Lazo even happened, I remember I was at like a big dinner in Europe.

And you were there. Were you shooting? Were you shooting? Yeah. And I remember thinking, I was like, show about soccer.

“And I was like, and I was like, I was like, is that thing going to work?”

And it's like became like, boy, did it, boy did it become the biggest show. And you were talking about, you were like, yeah, we're making this show. I still talk about it like that. Yeah. We just finished shooting season four.

Did you guys get like the most like Emmy nominations ever? I think maybe at one point, but at that point. You know how many nominations I got? No, four. Six.

Zero. No, that's not true. Is it this? One, no, not even close. I felt like directing.

No, no, no. Not me for anything? Nope, never. Zero. No recognition.

Any award show at all. That's surprising to me. No, no.

He's actually never been recognized by anything.

He doesn't even get invited to like, he wants to ask me, he goes, how am I not getting invited to the VMA. He was like, that's really funny. Well, literally the guy you want, that's really funny. Are you going to take it?

Oh, I thought you were going to get into it. I was just going to get into it. You're going to get into it. You're going to get into it. You're going to get into it.

I'm going to get into it. I'm going to get into it. I'm going to get into it. I'm going to get into it. I would have lost 100 bucks on that, but I would have definitely have seen it.

Well, I don't know if not one, but I don't pay too much attention to it. Maybe they're meaningless. Meaning. Meaning. Meaning.

Maybe they didn't see it right away. Is that oh, it's the TV? It's a Samsung frame TV. Oh, yeah. It's literally.

But I thought that's how I did it. It's the best thing. There's so brilliant.

“I mean, it's the best way to think of an idea like that in my firm.”

That's so. It helps. Black box turns into beautiful art. It's crazy. It's such a great idea.

You ever thought of any ideas? No. Oh my god, please be my food. And it's just your food. I'm hearing it.

There's also pronoun. Yeah. Yeah. I would have enough lunch. Great.

It doesn't engage with any other thing. No. Anybody there? Okay, well. I have no idea.

But I do have a question. Or he doesn't even need to be here. Yeah. What do you think of that? I don't know.

What you read? Like bullshit, right? Is it bullshit? Yeah. It's not the food.

What was it? Did you order locks? It was really? Is it locks? It's locks.

Oh my god. Take one right now. That is a heavy bag. You also don't make your shirt right away. How quick.

Just send me. Eat the locks right now. Just send it to my place. Yeah. I've been all smell it there.

I'll just do a little video. Yeah, yeah. I'll just do it. Can you please? Please, please.

You're now. I'm going to break his non-smelling. Relaxing. I love that. Everyone's really acting.

He's definitely going to take the locks to this. And shit. Like, what's a lock to this smell? Like, or look like. It's like a gun has been introduced into the scene.

It was like, yeah. What should a gun has been introduced into the scene? It's like, yeah. What should a gun has been introduced into the scene? It's like, yeah.

What should a gun have been introduced into the scene? It's like, yeah. Okay, so you're going to smell there? No, just smell. We're going to put some nail on you.

The back of your neck. You're going to have Jason's smell. By the way, I've done some research. It lacks it. Do you know what it was for?

No currings. It's like, oh, when they're shooting me. But in fifth grade, somebody went-- Analy. Is that what this is?

It's like why I got to get rid of this mustache. What did you do? I'm going to start a question for you. Go for it. I've only known you for about an hour.

Yeah, yeah. When I can already tell that. Okay, enough noise. I can already tell. Just like me.

You seem like a type of guy who just seeks the joke all the time and like you live life for a second.

Kind of like that fun, right? It feels that way. Yeah. You were hanging out with this friend's retainer and I'm trying to have fun. Do you feel like you're employing that same sense of humor to your children as they grow up in a full way?

“Or do you have to tone it back or even change your comedic style to communicate with your children?”

I don't change it too much. I feel like I may not be. I feel my sweet spot is when someone is watching the farm and then I can run around. So then as a parent, I feel like for me if there is a structure in place then I can goof around in it. But when I am the structure then less so.

They're more inclined to see it when I'm. Like being like a key role player while like a superstar leaves. Yeah, you're just like let not point guarding just your shooting guard. You're like you're you're you're you're you're getting like you know 30 points again where you're getting you know at least 20 looks and the other person is the one like calling out what defense and their switch and light. I mean I mean it's not I mean it's all relative but like no pun intended right but but I think.

Do you see your son you see your kids having like a similar sense of humor as you like. Oh my gosh, they're so funny they're getting funnier and funnier as they go they've you know days have been funny from John. What age are your kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, two and a few as a part almost almost you know it's super great like such good vibes and then this lot but when I when he and I.

“Are having like chats and stuff we'll we'll look through old photos and videos of Daisy and he just cracks up like he's watching his favorite signal like he just is it's so sweet and I just try to remember that remind him of that.”

Fishers as they'll be continued. It'll be nice. What's your sibling like that you know you your brothers I have one real brother. Yeah, yeah, he's five and a half years older and then I have three step siblings that are all younger. Gosh, what about yeah. One older brother five five years older. One older brother four years older.

Okay, wow, so that's that's like different high schools. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so like my sisters are.

Kristen's you know, I was 75 she's 79 and then Lindsay was 81 so they're really close and always have been very difficult to beat and charades.

You might be in my brother. Yeah, my mother. Yeah, yeah. It's incredible. You want more kids?

I would. Yeah, if I fell in love with you know, like, like yeah, I think it comes from the first man. I am currently young. How's being a single? I don't know.

Are you more of a relationship guy like do you find yourself in relationships more than being single? I like being in relation to people. I don't I'm not at a point in my life when I were like, you know, where it feels good or fulfilling to date numerous people all at once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That feels daunting and overwhelming.

Especially, especially with being a parent. There's also a new thing of day anybody of dating that they are. Like they're never number one on the call sheet as the show is saying would go like the kids are. Yeah, oh, interesting. You know, I mean, even probably more so than myself and so then there's that little bit as you get older.

Like, oh, kind of, I got to make sure my cups full in order for, you know, other people get the overflow. Yeah. When you're tipping at a restaurant. Yeah. What?

No. Yeah, here we go. Art. You know, it's it's an interesting world to be in. You're like, how do, how do you do the math for 12 per cent?

Are you? Are you, you know, I don't, I get to scare to do anything other than 20% of a person or a, you know what's correct.

“You know what the worst thing is when it's an automatic creativity at 18.”

Yeah. Because then you're like, how do I even add percentage?

Because I always, because then I'm like, oh, it's too low.

He criticizes. He criticizes. For tipping 20%. No, I don't criticize. What?

No, no. I don't know. It varies. I don't criticize. It's only if someone else is paying, saying, well, what are you tipping?

Because I want to, like, I say, well, I feel like that's going to, like, like make people more anxious, right? Because this is a form of anxiety. I think it's when we're talking about it earlier. I was like, I guess that's a kid or something until I was like, you know,

growing up, I was like, oh, anxiety is only about dying. And it's like, no, it's about stuff like this. I was like, worry about that. But it should be asked at the table. Like, okay, yeah, you're going to pick it up.

Thanks, Mark. That's really nice.

You're like, hey, what are you tipping?

What? It's just like, that's like, yeah, that's like, the thing that will, I know, like red flag, the, the cheaper, like, I don't know. Oh, I don't think it teaches anything tipping poorly. Because if someone is not good at, like, say it is, like,

like, a waiter, waitress at, at a, at a, at a, at a dinner type place. Yeah. And they're just brushing, not checked in. And you were just going to be, you want to be there for 45 minutes. You're there for an hour and a half because they were just, like,

just not there, whatnot. That's kind of nuts that that would happen. Like, um, if you only tip, like, 10%, yeah. Like, they're only going to walk away from there going, what an asshole. Yeah.

“This is like, if you're going to tip 10%, I think you've got to,”

give it to them. Give it to them. Yeah. I normally tip you, but you were so, yeah. Or see it to them.

Yeah. Yeah. But then even that, I'm like, I only think it's things more than that for me, is like, how, is it how, not things have to fight around. Teachers have to buy their own school supplies.

And just like, I'm like, that's wild. Women buying tampons. I'm like, come on, what the fuck are we doing? Wait a minute. Yeah.

What happens? Teachers, teachers, like, we're growing up, even though I'm older than you all. Like, I guarantee you the teachers, if they wanted to get something crazy, don't believe they'd go out of pocket. But for the most part, like, the school is paying it.

Now, you see, so often, like, you know, just friends, you know, that they're still back home in Kansas, like, you know, on their Instagram, like, hey, our, our great school teacher has an Amazon, like, wish list of things, you know, so you can buy markers for the kids. And I'm like, how is wild?

No, no. Taxes, like, where is this money going? Yeah. Like, each teacher kind of has that front. They're like, oh, I thought you were, like, referencing some super creative approach

to, like, a big presentation and having to pay for that. No, no, no, no, no, no. They have basic supplies. Like, just, it's just-- Why do teachers have to pay for that?

It's because there's become more commonplace than I've just noticed.

why, but I can't imagine I'd be convinced. Be like, oh, no. No. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah.

“That's why I'd have to buy her own erasers.”

Yeah. Buy her own shock. No, it makes her not, you know, blow through it. Yeah. She has to pay for it herself.

One time I had a teacher-- this is a terrible story. She was just walking, and she was kind of young. And she was like, young. It was like the youngest teacher I ever had. She was like new.

She was like, young and new. And she was cool. She was cool. I don't know. She wasn't like, I liked her.

But you could tell that she wanted to be cool. Yeah. And she was like, walking one day and she just slipped and just fell right on her face. Oh. Yeah.

That's not the end of the story. That's it. It's almost-- It's almost done. It was like the craziest fall.

Like I've never liked it.

It was so just-- and then she got up immediately. Try to play it off immediately. Yeah. Oh. Like, then her chin just started burst open.

And that is now the end of the story. Yeah. I had the same. I was running up from a subway. Yeah.

I had the same. I was running up from a subway.

“At my SNL days running up the stairs on 30-rock running late.”

And a gal was coming down the stairs, her and her friend. And she flew on slips and bus her chin. Same kind of thing. And she stands up. And it's that embarrassment that people have when they fall.

Yeah. That she was just like, I'm fine. I'm fine. And being hugged is a beard of blood. Spewing out.

And her friend's like, no. Becky, you're not fine. And I'm just like, do you guys-- They're just tourists. And I was like, do you want help?

And like, no, no, no, we're fine. It's like, no, we need help. And it's just like, well, we're fine. We're fine. Please stop.

I'm fine. The blood. Just come on. Like, yeah. Okay.

I'm going to go. It's just right around the corner. The main desk is right around the corner. I was just like, I probably do that metaphorically all the time. Yeah.

When people-- I'm not fine. --keep running. So we-- I was on a date one time and the girl tripped.

Right? And it wasn't a date. It was like two months into dating a girl. Yeah. And she tripped.

And it was funny. Yeah. She hated it. And you laughed. And I laughed.

Yeah. And she was mad. And it changed everything. Yeah. Really?

I don't know if it changed everything. But that night it did for sure. Yeah. Like that night was like, was so fun. We were hitting it off.

She tripped. She fell. She got up. I could see that. She was embarrassed.

And then I laughed. And then I felt like the-- Such a loser for laughing. And then you can't really talk anymore about it. She was not to talk about it.

Yeah. And then it's really just put-- Never know if people-- One time I stepped on someone's toe in Xboyfriend. And I was in trouble for days.

That's crazy. I have the greatest story ever. Yeah. But I don't think we're just going to break the-- Just break the--

Turn black and blue? What's your story? Yeah. It's not-- It's the best.

It's the best. You could-- Hey. Do you like-- Do you like co-op and like--

Did I pee like-- Yeah, man. Look at me. What am I-- Yeah.

But this-- You're stealing-- Are you-- No, no, no, no. - You're still like, I'm so locked up into Ted Lasso.

They are just like doing, are you getting ideas for new shows and stuff? - No, it's both the old funnies and into their zero ideas. - Zero ideas, zero idea, go. - Do you ever feel like you're living?

- A big idea, big idea.

- No, never. - Neither do you.

- I don't think that's why.

“- What big idea do you have? - What big idea do you have?”

- It's like, this is like, this is like, this is looking around for the next one. (laughing) - There's a mobile mindset that I think when you're in the groove, I was asking, I just had to know where it struck me

to ask Finneas, what was the time difference between writing, what was I made for and birds of a feather. And he was like, within a month. And I was just like, I feel so neat.

- Yeah. - You wanted us something so crazy. - Yeah. - One time I was with T-Pane. - Yeah, I know. - And I was talking to him.

And I were talking about music and he's done so many big records. And one time he said he was in the studio and he wrote six number one songs in one night. - Yeah.

- Six number ones in one night. I will tell you, I'll tell you a quick story that's actually interesting. I had just stopped flying, okay, and I don't fly. - Still though.

- Yes, I'll never, never. - No, I will take a boat. - Let me say never. - Don't know, I'm saying right now. - Yeah. - As of now.

- Yeah. - Yeah, I think that's life one day. - Yes, I do. - I work, I'm working towards it.

- Yeah. - I'm driving, I'm on like my second trip

driving across the country, it's 2009. I'm going to work on Katy Perry's album, okay. Drive, get there. I had to convince my brother to drive me. I promised him I'd buy him a suit from H&M

if he drove me. So he drove me and all my friends came. - Six buttons. - He had a big drag and all. - I was like, I was like, I should've done this.

- I was like, I should've done this. - I was like, I should've done this. - So he didn't know what had happened. This is like way back in the day. - He wanted that suit.

We like rented a RAV4 and we all drove together. It was so fun. - Yeah. - So I get there and I'm exhausted and everyone's like, come to the studio and I'm so tired.

I get to the studio. They said, hey, we finished the album. We'd love you to hear the singles and I'm like, what the fuck? - I just drove all the way here and you're done.

- And then they said, they'd love for you to hear the singles. - They said, we'd love for you to hear it and they're like dancing in the studio.

They're still hot because you never know

when you're gonna make the songs. And I said, okay, and I'm exhausted. Having slept in a bed in a long time. Like we're like traveling. I get there and I like going and I'm like, fuck.

So they're on the main studio. Everyone's like, they're like having a field day. I go in the side room at a recording studio called Conway and I'm in the side. And I'm just like, I'm just gonna start making some beats

and I just start making beats and then Dr. Luke comes in. He plays some stuff and then Max Martin's getting a cookie and he comes in and he's like, what's in here? And basically we started making two demos that night and the two demos we made were California girls

in teenage dream. They were the two demos we made and it was crazy and literally they go, like everyone comes in and listens and they're like, these are okay. And then we went to bed and then we came back the next day

“and we were like, we were like, what the fuck is that insane?”

- Yeah. - That was awesome. - I think if you're not swinging from behind a vine and you get to the vine quicker, yeah. It's a little bit like, you know, when you have the spot

in your eye and you try to look at it and it keeps moving away. I feel like that's a little bit, there's something to, there's something to that. You know, giftgiving used to be something that was hard for me.

- It's so hard for me. - It ain't hard for me, no mole. I don't know why I said it like that, but Canva. - Take a mole, well, like if I wanted to get many of gifts I could get a picture of me in him,

put it in a caravan, Canva will design me a coffee mug. - I don't want a coffee mug. - Okay. - Nope. I want a stainless steel water bottle.

With graphics on the outside. - We can look into that for you. - I believe that a lot of things are possible and especially from a design perspective by goodness. Canva makes design easy for anyone

who's built in the eye that lets you remove, generate an anime content and just a click. Start designing today at Canva.com. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

“- Hey, Benny, how has therapy helped you maintain your mental health?”

- Oh my God. I'm nothing without therapy. You know how they say it takes a village to raise someone for me, it really just takes one therapist. - Therapist.

- Old man, who's my therapist and has been my therapist for 20 years and therapy is a place where I can go and I can say anything and not feel afraid. - And nothing? - Yeah.

You can say anything. I think except like Moodoo. - Therapist is meant for you to speak your mind and navigate your own. Can I say something?

- I would love for you too. - My mother's a therapist.

- Ah, how many never talked about this?

- Your mental health matters. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/FKS. - Did you guys just like fall into Ted Lass? - Like how does that mean? - Yeah, we made, no we, I got hired, NBC Sports got the rights

for the Premier League back in 2000. - This is the rights-based thing? - Yeah, it was literally a right company. - Ad company came to me with like five ideas. They had, like I forget the other four, whatever they were.

But one was like football coach, coach, is soccer. And I was like, oh, I, like just, - But a little, like, shitting my pants, like, shitting my, you know, my brain pain. - Yeah, exactly.

- I think it's like here with, 20, 13. - This is like May of 2013. - So this was so long. - So long ago. And then I was like, okay, kind of bring two friends.

My friend Joe Kelly, it was a great writer. Like, and then I had another buddy that I was thinking

“and then Joe was like, what about our buddy Brendan?”

Who's, you place coach Beard on the show? And I was like, 'cause he knows everything. He, huge soccer, football, you know? - Yeah, yeah. - And then I got a little bit about soccer and football

and I knew nothing. So it was kind of like the Goldilocks theory. - Yeah. - And so we were like, okay, let's do that. They came over, living in our stay up in Nichols Canyon at that point.

We like had the laptop open. We just rode out beats, like for ideas. We knew we were gonna have two days. We're gonna shoot it in London. It was one of those moments for me where it's just like,

oh, I'm just like in a flow stator and a zone type thing. We go over that we make the commercial.

It's a multi-million dollar campaign.

There's no, we did not write a script. We have no script. The ad, you know, company did, but we all are using little pieces of it. You know, I came over the name Ted Lasso,

I was just like, what about Ted Lasso? I just like the idea of a first name and a noun. Like, you know, it was like, you know, whatever. And so then we're over there. And in between setups,

who did second city in Toronto.

And so he was okay with improvisation as a process. And then we would go, we'd dick around for 20 minutes. I'd act like a fool as the character's a little bit different. You know, like he had mustache and he talked like that and everything, but he's a little bit more like,

like Michael Scott, David Brent, kind of like that. And then we, then they'd do stuff. We'd go in there and play Catan. And then my manager would be outside talking to the guys from MVC and Todd and we're going,

but what are they doing? Like what's like, what are we doing next? It goes, just trust the process. Everything's gonna go fine. Marty, the director was okay with it.

We ended up, you know, then helping out with the edit. And you know, it was like a little short film. It was like three and a half minutes. Like a proof of concept thing of this thing. But it was just a commercial.

For what? For NBC, for the Premier League on NBC Sports. So this is just like, just a commercial. Just like, like, here's, you know, a couple hundred grand to make it to be like this commercial.

Okay, how about we call this guy Ted Lasso? The commercial does so well both with football fans, soccer fans, comedy people like this. What year was this? 2013.

“It came out like it just a couple months later, you know?”

And it played great. And then we enjoyed doing it. And I remember at some point being at the US Open, me and my buddy, John Glazer. - Rip and your mustache hair out there.

- Yeah, like in that way. - It was real. - Yeah, I was so paned to look out here. And I looked down the row. And I see Tony Parker, who was with the spurs at that point.

And Terry Henri from Arsenal. Like, look down and like wave at me. And I look at John and go, oh. Terry Henri and Tony Parker is wave. And I mean, like, they know me.

We get up during after, like, a game set match, whatever. And they come up and they're gushing about Ted Lasso. I'm like, oh, wow, this commercial, like, even the cool kids, like, like, like, like, footballers and, you know, who, you know, athletes and, like, okay.

So then we enjoyed doing it so much that we were like, hey, can we do another one? And their premise was, they're like, yes, but we don't have the budget we had last year. So we can't fly you over there.

So like, okay, that's okay. The whole premise of the commercial is Ted Lasso gets hired by the Tottenham hot spurs. And then gets fired, like, three days later. Because he doesn't know what he's doing.

He's like hired and fired in three and a half minutes, whatever.

And then we did the second one, the idea being,

and that's more where the show idea comes out of, where Ted gets hired, but then gets fired, but isn't mad anybody. And it's just like, but falls in love with soccer, falls in love with London.

Now he's living back in New York, you know, waking up at 7 a.m. to watch Premier League games, driving him any Cooper that he named Bradley. You know, like, all these, like, silly jokes. And then it's just like, 2015,

we're living out to eat. They're having dinner somewhere. And she's like, what do you want to do?

“I was like, so you should do some of that to Lasso.”

You guys love doing that. And you enjoy Joe and Brennan. We all get along so well, you know, when you find like, you know, those people, like blah, blah, blah. We then like sit around for a week and write for three days.

It was one of these weeks that like so many good ideas came out. Then in three days, we had six episodes sort of figured out, Joe had written a, like, a spit draft for the pilot, which is about 85% of what we ended up doing, you know, more or less.

And yeah, that was 2015. Then it just sat there for like years. - Who didn't do anything with it? - No, not for you. - You just got it out. Olivia, we had Otis, we had Daisy.

I was doing a movie here and there. - Kids. - Kids will slow it down now. - Yeah. - But they also allowed this gestation.

You know, the world was obviously changing. I was like, all the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Michigan, the Trump and whatnot. And then, Joe was working on a show. Brennan was was gig and like crazy doing stuff out here.

And then it wasn't until like Bill Lawrence had an idea for a show that he wanted me to do that wasn't the right fit. And then he was like, well, if you have any other ideas, I was like, well, my friends have this. And I had the stack of stuff and he read it.

He flew out to Brooklyn and me with me and then he, I think he read on the way back. And he's like, yeah, there's a lot of good ideas there. And then we were all like, so we're like the stall card.

He was like, basically, like the guy gives his little jump

started to get gas in the tank. So yeah, start as a commercial. - Well, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, - So, so, and be seen at the first quarter of the summer. - So, so, so, so, so, so, so, and be seen at the first quarter of the summer.

- And then, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, I was so proud of you. - You should be a part of that movie. - Well, you know, what I was inspiring is a comedian who just wants to watch funny movies.

“- Oh, that's right. - No, no, no, no, that's what I was just so underrated.”

- What? - Hall pass is so underrated. - Oh, yes, yeah. - That was the first time. - You don't like that one?

- I don't, I don't know if you're gonna say horrible bosses. - Yeah. - I don't think that's underrated. I think that's like a, I think that's like a huge success. - I guess this is one of those movies that I get, like, like,

this is like my age, like, like sort of whispered me a lot of whole past. - It feels like it's the first of, I'm like, do you watch yourself? - Yeah, but not, not, I don't like sit there and, like, crack up. - Oh, really? - You know what I mean?

- You know what I mean? - I wonder about that, I'm crazy. I'm like, just up there editing footage of, like,

And I'm like, let's be honest with you.

“- Isn't it all the show here because it's the pandemic?”

And I would here, just like, cackling, like, the loudest laughs.

And it was, I'd always say, what do you watch?

And it was his joke. Like, anything he said? - Do you know what? Do you know I never realized, until, like, I go back and think about it, but you're in, like, every movie and TV show ever made.

And then, what did you start? How old were you? - I got, I kind of hired to write it as an L when I was 20. So, 20, I was 27, almost 28. - Okay, yeah. - Was it on a scenario?

- Yeah, yeah. - For, I worked there 10 years, wrote for two, on for eight. - But you started as a writer and then you did this. And did you have hopes of, like, being on it? Or, are there ever any writers that are just like,

I just want to write for him? - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Absolutely. - That's an L tree of comedians. - Yes.

- You know, in the last few days, I saw in two things that I wasn't thinking of. - What? - I forget what it's called. It's, like, a relationship wine.

And it's, like, a romantic comedy. - Oh, with Alison Brie. - That's a compliment with other people. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

- I love that movie too. - I like that movie too. - Watches that one, like, every month. - Watches that one, like, every month. - Watches that one, like, every month.

- Watches that one, like, every month.

“- Are you in the funeral scene of Eastbound and Down?”

- Yeah, yeah. - And the guy in the cast in Ann's. - Of course. - Well, then I should die by doing cocaine.

I've never done cocaine, still haven't.

- Oh, man. - And I drag the dollar bill across. Like, no, what are you doing? You don't drag the dollar bill. You're supposed to do it.

It's supposed to be down. - You don't even know. - Over. - I know, neither. - I've never done it.

- I've never done it. I've never done it. - I've never done it. - And what we're thinking of, probably the people of, like,

people cutting it up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You just cover, you just cover. - You cover, you cover. - Yeah, you cover. - 'Cause you're supposed to, you're starting to dirt it.

- We're going to. - We're going to. - Brumin' with. - No, I've never done it. - When he explained it, I've never done it. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- You've never done it.

- You've never done it. - I think I would love to.

- You have mushrooms and weed. But I've never done LST. I've done Harlan. - No, never done Harlan. - Zanx, they were taking the Zanx.

- Don't think I have. - Oh, I don't think I have. - I wonder. - I wonder if you would like it. - I mean, I tried lexapro for a little while there, but it makes it very hard to climax. - Yeah, I hear that about lexapro. - Wait, what's hard to climax?

- Lexapro was, I remember taking it for a couple of weeks. Like, those are the ages of going to the Zanxapro. - Is it that, is it that? - Lexapro, we keep you on your feet. - Do you think, 'cause I don't know how you play basketball?

- Yeah, yeah. - But I feel like you're probably in the shooter. - If I'm hot, yeah, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, - So you're not, like I'm, I would say that I would say that I am. - You're not always hot. - You're not always hot.

- I'm not, you're not always hot. - I'm not. - You're not always hot. - You're not always hot. - You're not always hot. - You're not always hot. - You're not always hot. - You're not always hot. - Before the game starts, you're like, don't leave him.

Shoot him. - Oh, I'm not. - You're that. - I'm that. - Oh. - I am that, especially if I haven't played in a while. Like, I can get, if I get hot, but I would, - But I would, - But I would, - We don't play that.

- It's hot, you just, when you're on top of it. - It's just, I'm fire, like, in his own, like, like, - Yeah, where you just can't miss it. - What do you mean? - You want to make all the three points. - Just keep talking. - I don't know what I'm talking about. - I don't know what I'm talking about.

- I don't know what I'm talking about. - I don't know what I'm talking about. - I don't know what I'm talking about. - I don't know what I'm talking about. - Oh, we got new flavors. - Raspberry Sherbert. - Is it Sherbert? - Blackberry vanilla.

You know, I'm a kind of athlete that gets free products sent to him. So what I'm going to do real quick is try both of these out because there's nothing better than making choices before you embarrass another man. That's, it's going to be hard to beat.

Blackberry vanilla, oh my God. This is a real conundrum for me because I really did intend to come in here and make a choice. Unfortunately, I can't do that because they're both so good. I do need my hands to compete, so I'm going to put these back for now. But maybe, I'll be able to be back.

I'm going to be going to basketball hoop. - Just getting something. - It's a big good time for me. I'm terribly good at it. - Of course, you do. I mean, you know, all right, I have a few like, you got chocolate. - Do you do like basketball like growing up a lot?

- Yeah, high school and college. - I love that. - There's so many men. - Where is this guy? - More men. - What's over here? - I don't know. - I can just play basketball. - Yeah, it's like the pants. - I don't know what you feel over here. - No, it's because it's a good thing.

- We have nowhere to shoot a game that all out. Move the pants. - Where would it shoot? - Move the pants. - From over there, from everywhere. - Okay. - What are you putting that? - Around the world. - Look at this. - They blow out the candles.

I don't want anything to happen. - No, it's a stupid place to put it. There's nowhere to shoot. - Let me show you something. - Let me show you something. - Oh, let me do this.

“- This is where you'd want to put it so you have to send space.”

- So you're shooting like four feet away? - No, what do you mean? You're shooting from here. Yours you can't. - I don't know. - You're one of the best at that base. - I don't have that kind of range. - Let me just see what's going on here.

- 'Cause you want to put it in that base. You just have that. - You got to sand those? - Yeah, but to me, the light fixture is served as an interesting option. - Yeah, this is a good ball. This one's good. - That's a pool ball. I recognize that. - Check a pool. - Check, look at the way this bounce.

- What do you think? - I don't know if I like where you-- - I like it. - Yeah, that's smart. - That's smart. - That's smart, yeah. - That's smart. - What's the solar region? - It's just the fatherhood type. - Right.

“- What? - What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?”

- See, already see? - See, whatever. - I was just checking the ball. - Well, one for one. I mean, there's different balls. It seems like you like that. - Yeah, let's see which ball. Do you want to try this ball?

- Well, first we have to decide what the best ball.

This is not the best ball. There's a bad ball. There's a very bad ball. - This is what came with it. - I'm taking this out. - Let me just take a shot. - First shot, obviously. - Obviously. - I mean, I took a first shot and I made it. - You did.

- You're using the glass? - That's crazy that you did. - You mean cool. - Why is it crazy that I made it? - You know, it's crazy that you made your first shot. - No. - It's not. - I mean, you're gonna-- - He's gonna miss every shot he takes for the rest of the day. - We played him.

- So we've played Hoops together at Harley's. - Yeah. - No. - He's gonna-- - Yeah, that sounds like something. - Yeah, that sounds like something. - Yeah, play. - Check him. - If we can't hit him, we're not going to use the good ball. - Oh, that's a good ball.

- No, but I will-- - Right now. - That's him. - No, I'm just lying. - Oh, that's a good throw. - Yeah, yeah, let me just see. - That's a good throw. - Let me just throw one. - Let me just go off. - Let me just try, you know. - I just played in the NBA. - I made my own. - I made my own. - I made my own.

- No, that's some stuff. - Have you ever-- - Have you ever-- - Have you ever been sitting in a ball? - No, I haven't been to you. - But I'll start game, I did. - Yeah. - I played it twice. One time was awful. - Oh, you don't-- - I don't know if we've ever told you the story. - I played it in 2010.

- It was in the day, it was here in LA. - Yeah. - The coach was Bill Walton, the other coach was Magic Johnson.

“- Oh my god. - I think one of the first times they put celebrities with real players,”

like Scottie Pippin was on my team, which was exciting. But then it was a really small, odd venue. And then on the other team was this young kid who I didn't know I'd known new the name, but an usher protege, known as Justin Bieber, right? - We went that game where he dominated it. - Yes, yeah.

- And it was hilarious because it was kind of like-- I mean, he has a crazy shot and goes in, like nuts. But I didn't get to play it all. And I was so bummed. I thought, the Walt and I were going to hit it off, because we both smoked pot and I loved John Rwinn. I was like, oh, he's going to love me.

- Yeah. - Good, couldn't care what. - Yeah. I want him and Magic were like going ahead to head to head. And it's like Celtics, Lakers, rivalry stuff. The Bieber's going off. And then two thirds of the crowd was there to see Bieber, where you don't, I didn't realize it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I just knew him as like this, I was like,

this is, you know, when I didn't know. And before you had to, you know, become an usher, now a host that had even been a musical guest right and I have that. And so I'm kind of bummed. I remember like, I didn't have to shower afterwards. I was just like, I was just changing. And as I'm leaving, as I'm leaving.

“I can't do so much just like, I don't know what to see. I'm leaving. I'm leaving.”

I've got my bag, and I'm getting ready to go. And I see Maverick Carter and LeBron. I met when he had hosted SNL. Like, you're two before, whatever. And both LeBron and Maverick. Hey, so thank you. I was like, hey, man. Hey, guys, you know, Dr. Webb, and they were like, look at you looking like a baller.

I was like, just by the, my, look, they clearly did not watch that. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And I was like, oh, thanks, guys. - Yeah. - And I felt better. And then I remembered that leaving there

and going to like CAA or somewhere to watch the very first screening of horrible bosses.

Like, like, and I was like, oh, this is what I do now. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Don't worry about the universe being like, yeah. - Don't worry. - We still have values. - Yeah. - You're not, you're not, you're not a external value. - Yeah. - You're not a external value. - I mean, I mean, tell you what happened to my first celebrity game.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. So, I was at, like, uh, in a, in a Latin one. It was like a Latin celebrity. - Yeah. - Yeah. - For, like, Latin music. And I get there. - Good hit. - And they were like, oh, we're like, given everyone shoes and outfits. And I was like, oh, okay. And like, I didn't get to talk to them.

And they like, gave me shoes and the shoes were like, a little bit big. They didn't, like, have my side. But they were like, good enough. I could time tight. So, it's my turn to go on. And it's like, everybody's playing. It's like, bad bun and stuff. Like, every big musician, and I go on. And it's the first play. And I run out.

And my legs. Like, my shoes fly off my body. They fly into the air. - And a lot of my shoes. - And a lot of my shoes. And I, and couldn't recover. Like, I fell out. And I went, like, this and I, like, flew and they helped me up. I, like, got hurt. - I didn't know I knew what was going to happen.

- And I was like, pausing and say, everybody guess. - No.

- You probably knew necessarily, like, I was like, I never would have guessed that.

- They had to help me out. - I'll choose flew. - And then, for the rest of the game, I didn't even get to touch the ball. Because, like, they were like, "Oh, my God, this guy gave a walk." - Oh, my God. - Nobody, nobody, nobody, even, I didn't even get to touch it.

- Nobody played defense on you. - Nobody played defense. I didn't even get, like, they would be, like, this,

And I could be wide open and they'd go, and just throw it out of bounds.

- Yeah. - For, for, for, for fan duel. - Let's go, baby. - Yeah, let's predict. - So that's, you know, we got soccer, we got, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Nope. - No, I don't think he's going to win. - I don't think he's going to win. - Yeah, he's going to win.

- This is a nice spot. - Oh, anyone in the specific, but we got regions like Spain, France, Brazil, England. - No, correct me if I'm wrong. - Oh, hey. - Is this a pro soccer championship that's about to happen? - I mean, it's more than that. This is global football,

but I don't know what's the other word you would use. - You can predict the outcome of the pro soccer championships games. All the way to the end of the tournament with fan duel predicts. Sign up and grab your $25 bonus on fan duel predicts

and ride this playoff journey with us.

- You thinking about Spain, France, Brazil? - I'm thinking about Senegal. - I'm going with Brazil. - Okay, let's play a quick game of pig. - Okay. - Who is your chef in a bag?

“- I love pig. - And you have to sell it.”

- Okay, who starts? - I don't know. - We'll be in the other one. - What ball do we want? - This one. - Is that one? - Not only makes sense. - You guys just get nuts to the ball.

- Yeah. - I don't get nuts to the ball. - I mean, that's what you're about to do. - I mean, that's what you're about to do. - You're about to have it. - You're about to have it. - Okay. - That's where you're going. - Short. - That was terrible.

- Oh no. - Oh my God. - It's just jacks it up. - Oh, okay. - All right, you got pigs. - Oh, oh. - That's hard. - Oh. - Oh, wait, wait, wait. - Oh my God.

- Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Short. - Oh yeah. - God. - Now it's not out. - Oh my God. - Oh, oh my God. - Nice shot. - Nice shot. - Okay, nice shot.

- Okay. - Okay. - Okay, now it's my turn again. - Right here. - No luck. - Oh, you just luck. - Oh, geez. - You're looking right now.

“- When you should take your foot off the gas.”

- Peddle the mill, my dear. - There's no looking, though, if you're looking. - Why did you start the shot? - So when are you starting it? - I'm looking to you. - He's going to you, I'm wearing it. - You're setting me up for failure. He's just going to say that I'm looking when I shouldn't be looking.

- Now there's no looking, now I'm looking at you. - Look a lot before hand. - You can look as much as you want until you stop, you go like, you might want to, let's been so long since you've looked, you might want to re-look and you're right hand like this.

- Yep. - So now you go. - This is not the blue line. - This is not the blue line. - Check it out. - It's not the blue line. - Oh my God. - So I can't go. - You made it.

- Wow. - Wow. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, it's not the blue line. - That's not the blue line. - Oh my God, it's not the blue line. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, it's not the blue line. - Oh, it looks good. - Pete did.

- Hope you're wet and what's up. - Oh, it's good. - Oh, that was great. - Alright, my turn. - Yeah, nice shot. - Nice shot. - Guy perfect. - Yeah, I'm the Christian. - Yep. - I hope it's good, yeah.

- Oh, good hit. - Okay, here we go. - Good luck, Benny. - We don't have to run too much. - Nice, dude, that was silky. - So you're gonna make this or you're out, Christian.

- Can she hold on? - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And it's p to nothing. Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

I mean, the chain. Chinatown, here it comes. It's a little bounce. Including you. Inside. Yeah, put your head down. Put that wire on. Yeah, it's a watermarked. Yeah, do the T-1. And it's called the hot one. It's so hard to balance. It's very difficult to balance. I don't recommend it. There's no space. It's barely what we do. Yeah, the waves. Thanks are open. It's a smart player. That was a nice swoosh. No, you win. You win. This is, hey, thanks guys. This is good game. Well done. Well done. This is great. Chuck, I can't. This is great. Thank you.

You knew you were going to pick right? You just always win. No, not always. Well done.

It's right. So I've got to do regulation base sports. You know, we can't play kids games anymore. No, these, these, these people that invented these games, they measured children. They thought things through. For a man that I just met. Yeah, I love you. Oh, I love you. Thank you so much for coming along. How do you get it all? This is lovely. But I didn't take the access. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it. It's the most inappropriate thing.

“No, if you like to have us holding the bag, they're even then. If you want to finish doing it, if I went upstairs in the back, I felt like I could tell that you're like, I would have absolutely gone for it.”

Because I wouldn't have been able to smell it. So it's like, Thank you, Dominos, for sponsoring this episode. And for the pizza. Offer by Fandle, production markets LLC, a registered futures commission merchant 18 plus bonuses non withdrawalable and expire seven days after receipt trading derivatives involves significant risk and may not be suitable for all investors.

Thank you, Dominos, for sponsoring this episode. And for the pizza.