Giggling about hunger strikes, purity rings, and the opera

- That gives you... - Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.

“- Man, if that's true, we can't be managed.”

(laughing) - I mean, the day just got away from me. (upbeat music) - Hello, my gigally, wiggly, jiggly, jiggly's. Piggly's.

- Well done, I saved, so I'm not like on my phone. I just saved somebody that I just started, and she's like, "No, I'm paying attention. Keep talking. I just, I should have worried."

- Yeah. - Who are you, who are you sexting? - No, I saved something, and I wanted to bring it up. - Okay, listen to this. Five countries cracking down on influencers.

China has banned influencers from speaking about topics they don't actually know about. - So we can't speak about anything anymore. Like, literally anything. - Australia has effectively banned

kid influencers after implementing

world's first block on social media access

for children under 16, which actually support. - So agree with. - We stand. - Spain, popular tourist spots have had to regulate

or ban travel influencers after selfie tourism ruined the environment's and infuriated locals. (laughing) Whatever, whatever. (laughing)

- I digress. - The Netherlands has banned influencers from promoting online gambling, promoting partnerships between streamers and betting operators.

- I mean, true, like we've been talking about that. It is giving a lot of sexes, though. - It's giving sexes, like I feel like influencers giving, we don't want women working. - France has banned influencers

from promoting fast fashion.

They are also banned from promoting dangerous

cosmetics, surgeries, and extreme diet dieting products. - Okay, this is okay. I have a lot of thoughts. I haven't thought this through, so I'll work it out in live time.

I feel like if you're banning influencers from running fast fashion, stop by my influencers. Go for the fast fashion, go for the source. Not these girls who are just trying to make a buck, go for the fucking billionaire who owns it.

- Also, I feel like fast fat. - Right, right, right, right. - Right, right, right, right. - I also feel like fast fashion, which I'm obviously guilty of, like loving Zara,

I buy everything on Amazon, is because the world is so expensive, honey. You could go on Amazon right now and get a YSL heel duped, sweetie. We'll also, why would they not?

- Back in the day, people used to like so close and like make things, and it was like, I guess affordable, I don't know, I wasn't there. And nowadays, it's closer either $10 or literally $500.

- A little kitty just jumped up on the bed. - She knows when we're starting and she's like, don't forget my shoutout in the beginning. - Oh, having a cat is just the fucking best.

“- I know, should I tell them about what happened with butter?”

- Yeah. - Okay, so butter, normally when I'm traveling, does it around or graces around?

There's always like someone around,

or when does it's traveling, I'm around. This last week, something happened where does an eye were both working? - And I said, okay, let's get a cat sitter. - For how long you've had a cat,

I feel like you never have a cat sitter. I have rotating cat sitters, honestly, definitely likes a cat sitter better than me. - This is the thing with butter, butter spoiled, butter doesn't do cat sitter,

but I explain to the cat sitter. I had to get on a call with a cat sitter. I had to like get interviewed and they were like, tell us about your cat, I'm like, you're not gonna see this bitch.

She doesn't wanna see you, feeder and leave. She has a litter robot that's working over time. You just have to open up a can of wet food, get some water, get out of there.

- Sorry. - So I'm running around and I get a text from Grace. He's also, we have multiple people on this cat sitter. It's like my top priority. And she's like, butter has a knee in and I'm like,

okay, every now and then someone like shuts a door and she's like stuck in a closet. We gotta get the cat sitter back. Open every single crevice, butter needs saving. So then the cat sitter's like, she's still not eating.

And I'm like, okay, I'm starting to get really worried about my cat, 'cause it's like two, three days ago. - What day? Yeah, this is like two, three days.

“- If you Google, like, how long can my cat go without food?”

They're very dramatic. They're like, after 24 hours, your cat is dead. And I'm like, okay, whoa. - That's happening. That's happening in store for the winter.

- So, but then I start searching, like, when cats are stressed 'cause I miss their owner. And I was like, I think butter's on a hunger strike. And Grace was like, that seems really dramatic. And I'm like, well, don't count butter out.

- She's so 90s. She's like, oh, I just want to eat for five days and then I'll be at my goal later. - But I'm like, I'm very stressed. And Des is like, I'm getting in tomorrow.

I'll know what's gonna happen.

on the rug.

So happy to see everyone.

Doesn't know everyone's been so scared.

“I'm like, why did you do a hunger strike?”

She just was like, I'm not touching that food from that stranger. Sorry, stranger danger. - She's like, actually that stranger could have injected something into my wet food.

Not gonna traffic me, bitch. - She's literally you're gonna do me. - She's like, I've been straight before and I'm not going back. She's literally like, I've been rich

and I've been poor and I'll pick rich every time. - So cats like communicate with you, doing crazy stuff, like, definitely will shit on someone's bed when she's mad. Butter will refuse eat,

but then somehow she's peeing and pooping still. So I don't know what is going on, but she's smarter than all of us. Anyway, butter's fine. But I was in California.

She doesn't like when I go to California.

She knows it's far. - Cats are so much like their owners that like butter goes into a depression. You are very depression prone.

“- Butter was in the back of a dark closet”

trying to find a happy place. - We're definitely like acts out. And then 24 hours later she's like, I just remember that I don't care. You know, and that could not be more me.

I'm like, I'll burn this whole fucking city down and then 12 hours later I'm like, I was literally just hungry. I literally don't care about this at all. - I had a tennis weekend.

- Yes. - You know, I love my tennis weekends. - Indian wells shout out. - So Indian wells, chic as fuck. They were giving me a free yogurt, free faillay in the desert.

That's when you know you've hit beak capitalism. - But I also was like, it was 90 degrees and someone's like, do you wanna free yogurt and I was like, oh my god, I can't. - I was like, we missed calculator.

- I can't have a free yogurt right now I die. - But I am really close to being like, in the tennis aluminum body, like I'm so close. I've had this, wait, do you know how chic Indian well is? - Indian wells, sorry, you guys, it's the morning.

- Indian wells. - Indian wells is underneath the stadium court. There's a private nobu underneath the court. That like you can't, no one can go, you have to get invited.

“Like you have to have like one a grand slam to go.”

- Oh my god. - Like they're like, oh, you played college times, get the fuck out. - So it's like operating every Friday night and Saturday, it's operating like,

it's basically like a Roger Federer's here, take them to the nobu. - Oh, it's chic, it's chic. - So you didn't get to go? - No. - They actually, like someone some security like pummeled me.

They were like, don't even think about it. - They purposely were like, if you heard about it, no you didn't. - Louis Levin is like the sponsor of the tournament, which is cool, so I got to host a sweet.

- Fine, by the way, it's not easy to get to Palm Springs. - No, it's not. I've only been one.

- I've never been to Coachella, have you?

- I've never been to Coachella. - And I'm so proud of that. - We've never been to any festival. - No festival, I've never been to stage coach. - No, well that's crazy, that's crazy.

- You know, there's a place in New York City called Governor's Island, I've never been to it. - I've heard of it, but the closer it is to me, the scarier it is also. - I feel like I just, those types of events,

I feel like I hated and college, like I hated raves and college, but I went because we were in college and when your friends are doing something, you just do it. But now, but once I had free will,

I was like, why would I, why would I go sweat? Also, you know what, like music is triggering? - It's not triggering, but like, I'm not traveling to see you. I don't give a fuck.

- We'll part of it. - I'll listen to you on my phone. It's kind of how I feel about sports, like if I actually care about the match or the game, I wanna watch it in a dark room alone with my cat,

so I can actually watch it. Like if I would want to listen to a song or like watch a music video, I'm not like, let's invite a crew. - Let's go to the top. - Oh, I'm a rapper.

If there's people around me, I'm missing the whole concert. And I'm like great, I paid money to have the same conversation I have with my friends every day. - The thing with me in Coachella is like, I'm not walking from stage to stage.

Like I'm not walking around. - I think that's my thing. - And people like pass out, left and right. - I'm just gonna say, I'm not letting my future unborn child go to Coachella, it's unsafe,

'cause I know my kids not gonna drink enough water, 'cause they have my genetics, and like they'll pass out. Why can't we have air conditioned festivals? - Why can't they just be like in an auditorium? (laughing)

- Everyone has a dunk in refresher. - Everyone has a seat.

and I knew that it was so split on the internet, and I know that it's gonna be so split for us. - And I already know what your answer is. - I'm so excited if I was with you. - A girl came and made a TikTok and said,

"I have a roommate, and every time she showers, she puts lotion on." And the girl was like, "That's crazy to me."

Like I could never put lotion on every single time I shower.

Like maybe once in a while I do it, but I can't believe these people exist that put lotion on every single time they shower. Now me, I'm sitting there, and I have to immediately go to the comments

because I know that I'm one of those people, and the comments were very split. Like yes we exist, I'm right here. I put lotion on every single shower more diligently than I do washing my face at night.

Like I could tell you the last time I did put lotion on after I shower, it was probably like three months ago, and it's like 'cause I showered really late, I was tired.

“- Question, can I have some questions before I get my response?”

- Yeah I knew you were gonna have follow-ups. - If you don't lotion after the shower, do you feel dry and like tight? - Yes. - Now that I have this information,

can I get my response? - Yeah. - The floor is yours, thank you. - I think that your body gets addicted to things. 'Cause that's how I am with my face.

Like if I don't put moisturizer on immediately after showering, my face, I like can't smile, it's so like dry. - Yeah.

- But I never put it on my body and my body feels great.

But my mom, lotion's every time after the shower, 'cause she's an adult, and she needs to. I feel like it's like coffee, it's like also I feel like even with like putting lip stuff on. I wonder is there anyone who never puts lip stuff on

and their lips are just like great all the time? - You know what I think about a lot? - What? - Remember when Mila Kunis came out and was like, I'm definitely not bathing my kids

every single day. - I do remember that.

“- I don't know why, but I think about that a lot.”

Like, I think about it at least once a month. - Well, it was her reasoning. - I think her reasoning was like, they don't get dirty, like they're not dirty every single day and it's like...

- I've seen my little niece enough of you and they can't have a meal without needing to be like thrown into the house. - Yeah, whole literally house. - Me too though, I also love a shower.

- You love a shower.

I also, here's the thing.

I have fully reverted back to the structure that my mother gave me in kindergarten. Like, I'm waking up, 'cause you wanna know what? She was right all along. Why would I ever deviate from her God damn plan?

- I wake up, I do what I have to do around five o'clock. I go into the bathroom, I take my shower, I get ready for bed, and then after six pm, if there's anything I need to do before I go to sleep at night, that's when I do it.

But I'm fully shoured, like, ready, firstly. - But that's why moms are showing up. - I buy at least seven things. - Some people, if you have like a crazy childhood, like you were never taught how you're supposed

to take care of yourself, which is upsetting. - Like, learning basic hygiene. - Yeah. - But, oh wait. - Well, I love structure and anything.

I'm a structured person. I need structure for myself. - Sure, for myself. - For my mom. - I don't work in your chart, don't you?

- You know, I don't, I have, I'm a Scorpio son. I'm a Pisces Moon, and I'm an Aquarius Rising, which is just like, so it's not me.

“- That's what I don't know where that comes.”

- That's why you, like, smoking weed. 'Cause I'm an Aquarius Rising. - Yeah, but I kind of made that up. Like, I have no idea. - I feel like you did.

- I feel like, I feel like, me being an Aquarius Rising is why I can tolerate quirky people. - Wait, you don't, me being a Aquarius Rising, why? You don't make me wanna blow my brains out

every time I talk to you. - You love wearing a Aquarius. It's like, quirky, I love quirky people. - And you know, it's crazy. I always love scary women.

- No, all my best friends were the scariest girl in the school, and I'd be like her, like, a little laboratory, and I'm like, don't mess with her. You can mess with me though, don't mess with her.

- And I feel like I've never truly had a best friend that's exactly like me, 'cause I'm like boring. - I'm like, who cares? Like, I need a little quirk, I need a little energy. - So my quirk was, and I don't know

like the exact reasoning, but you know my mom, apparently I was so, I don't know what I would do in the morning, but like, getting me dressed. And I'm talking about when I was like eight years old. Like I was like two years old, getting me dressed

in the morning was like, I didn't like change. Like, you know how, like, you're like, hey, can we record the pot?

and you're like, get up, like, I don't like transitioning.

I'm comfortable. (laughs) So she would dress me in my outfit, the night before, and put me to sleep 'cause she wanted to deal with me in the morning. - See, you were actually a great candidate for a uniform.

- You're so right about that. - You would have thrived, you wouldn't have thrived. - And you wouldn't have thrived. - Yeah, see, public school, I was crazy. And I was wearing, oh, you would have been upset.

You wouldn't have been upset. - Also, like, as I get older and like, I'm hitting prime, like, maternal ages, I do think of like, obviously there's like random thoughts about like, how are you gonna raise your child

and like, blah, blah, blah, like, whatever. - I do think that, like, I specifically know,

“and I think kids too, like thrive with routine.”

Like, once you throw off their routine, they're like, what the fuck's going on? Which I 100% get because even as an adult, if you throw off my routine, yeah. - I'm like, but like, I don't like this, you,

like, they'll be like, I don't wanna do this. It's like, yeah, you're three. Of course, you don't wanna do this, but kids want to know what they should do. Like, my mom was even talking about lowest,

how like, they want structure. - Yeah, like, she told lowest, we can watch three episodes, and lowest was like, okay, and then next, you know, lowest was telling my mom, two more episodes. We're like, when I was watching TV with her,

she was like, we're gonna watch this forever, but like, 'cause I didn't tell her anything. I also have a, a good note. I have a good feminist note for you guys. - I love that.

- 'Cause you know how you talk about raising a son and how you wanna raise your child. - Yeah, that's right. - We're all like, we wanna raise a great son. - I saw this.

- I think I'm having a boy first, yeah.

“- I saw this thing online, and it's very important.”

'Cause I'm like, we blame the mom so much for like, when a son comes out wrong. And first of all, we know these moms. Like, we know them in our heart. Mom's are actually cool.

- Actually, I saw a video the other day, and it was like a kid doing something crazy. And all the comments were like, where's the dad? - Where's his dad? - Someone said that the way guys treat women

is a direct reflection of how their dad treats their mom. So when you guys are searching for a partner, I don't care, whatever you do, if he sees the dad disrespecting you, treating you like shit, not letting you speak,

bossing you around. I don't care how good you are as a mom to that kid, the kid sees that, and that affects his relationship with women. So when you're choosing your man,

add that to the long list. - Now, 'til like, take it to like a super dark level, unlike a Friday afternoon. - It's Tuesday, but. - But when I went, oh right, what?

Oh my God, and we're on earth. Is everyone okay? - Well, I believe we do our first. I was like, it is right, I. (laughs)

- You're not okay. - Anyway, not to take it to a super dark level, but when I was in like an extremely mentally and physically abusive relationship, (laughs)

- So what? - When I got you back, or by a man. - When I literally got beat to a pulp, sorry, I digress, I can make jokes about it because it happened to me.

I'm 100% if not 98% sure that this man's dad was also extremely abusive to the wife.

Obviously, I never saw that, like, full out,

but there were just certain signs and now, as I'm obviously like 15 years out of that relationship, like I still think back to it in my 30s and how like I handled it and as a 19 year old girl and there were so many signs that that dad was

extremely abusive to the wife. - Yeah, I feel like so many times you see something and people would be like, wow, the mom, didn't do this or that, and I'm like, no, the dad's setting a fucking horrible example.

- Well, because it's just like so easy to blame women for everything. It's so exhausting.

“- Can I, someone's like, guys, find something else?”

The JFK Junior looked like contest in Washington Square Park. - I honestly couldn't get myself to click on it. Any guy who says he looks like JFK Junior gives me the, like, if you think you look like him,

you already don't. - And I feel like I'm Tiktok, the girls are really coming for the other girls. Like, this isn't, you're not Carolyn Besett. Like, you can't, you're not doing it right.

But, but, but, but, but. - Oh, yeah. Nobody's coming for the men who are posting outfit videos, trying to look like JFK Junior. We've truly lost the thought, like, guys.

- Well, I had some friends joking that they were like, oh, I might have to walk by the JFK Junior, look like contestified a boyfriend, but then I was like, oh, like, imagine some guys,

- Hot take, I love the show, but it seems like they were

not the best match for each other. Just gonna go out on a limb here and say, look, I love a woman who will beat her man in the streets of New York City. If I didn't think someone was gonna take a video of me,

I would have done it so many times. But, that's not the best, like, example of a good relationship. - One thing, if you wanna beat the shit out of him and I've been there so many times, you can't do it, but also you probably shouldn't be dating that person,

let alone marrying that. - Especially when she knew like, all they do is get photographed. - Did you see the actress who came out and was like,

“um, yeah, I'm kind of pissed at how you guys portrayed me?”

- Well, I wrote that down, Darrell Hannah. She's not an actress. She's like the actress of the 90s. Are you familiar, Darrell Hannah? - I only know her from that one movie with Tom Hanks.

- For scum, she started, and she's iconic, and she was in, um, Splash. I think that was what Tom Hanks did. - That was her. - That's Darrell Hannah, she's portraying me.

- Yeah, that's her. - No, her is gone. - Are you sure? - Mm-hmm. - Well, then I need to fact check, yeah. - Yeah, I need to fact check myself, actually.

Splash, Kill Bill, Steel Magnolia, Blade Runner, I walked to my mother. - Darrell Hannah was not in 1994 film for a scum. - Oh. (laughing)

- Wait. - I knew something was up there. - I knew something was up there. - Usually I let you, I let you just go. I'm like, normalizing herself.

- You let me cook. Oh, she was that, it was Robin Wright. Okay, well, both two great actresses. Um, so Darrell Hannah comes out, and it's like, (sighs)

I don't do anything that anyone, I don't say anything that anyone is. (laughing)

I never would have be involved in anything.

She's like, she was like, I didn't host cocaine parties. Like, I would never show up to someone's TV set and just, or like, a few minutes. - I wouldn't use an heirloom to snort crack on. She basically was like, most of the time,

I don't respond to like rumors about me 'cause it just adds to the flames of the fire, but she was like, the way they depicted her in this was that she was this sad annoying, disrespectful, horrible person.

- Even the actresses' voice. Every time she talked, you were like, - Shut up. - But it almost, it was done so bad.

“They were like, I think they tried to make her”

like the antagonist so that you'd root for Carolyn, but instead it made, I was like, why would this guy ever wanna be with this horrible person? - So Darrell Hannah. - I know.

- Good for you for speaking up 'cause I know that speaking up 'cause it's drama and I don't recommend it in most situations. - I really don't. - But she basically was like,

don't use me. - I really don't speak. - Don't come for my entire person and my entire livelihood. Like, imagine you live this whole full life and then this TV show comes out,

depicting you as a person, your entire life, and it's going viral and you're the worst side chick in the world and she's like that just wasn't us.

I would never force a guy to marry me.

Like, the accusations that had on her was bonkers. - Do you ever think about how we are not JFK Junior's type at all? He would have thrown up in his mouth. He'd been like, but I'd burn that.

- Well, a red head. - Okay, get out of here. You know, sometimes the Googlers will DM me and they'll be like, hey, sorry, so I know I'm blonde, but (laughing)

and it's like, so funny, but I like it. - Do you feel like when I find out a guy like Splons, I get empowered 'cause I'm like, I suddenly feel free of his wrath and I'm like, you don't have a soul.

- Yeah, but I'm like, you don't have control over me. Like, you don't fuck with me so then I'm free. We're like, but there was drama and I hate to spread gossip,

“but I think this was from Brook Shield's mouth.”

Brook Shield's who we love, iconic. Went on a date with JFK Jr. When she was still a virgin, she was like America's most famous version, which was so 90s to me.

(laughing) To be like, here's the virgin of the day. - Not even 90s, remember? When like the Jonas Brothers wore purity rings? What was that?

- That was um, religious drama. - What was, what was like that? Like, even like Britney Spears, people were like obsessed with when she was like gonna turn 18 and like, same with the Olsen twins.

Like, what a weird genre of like celebrity dumb, that like we were just like, oh yeah, she's a virgin, duh, everybody knows that. Like, imagine the world's finding out when you lost your virginity.

but I have given some hand jobs.

(laughing) - Like, that is so crazy. - It's disgusting.

“Oh, yes, so she said that she went on a date with him.”

And it went great. And then she's like, I'm not having sex with you. 'Cause in her head, she's like, I'll fall in love with this man. So then he apparently leaves her.

Like, it's like, oh, we're not having sex and just like leaves her wherever they were. She has like, find her way back. And she said like, he knew I was obsessed with him. And she's like, I was obsessed with him

and I couldn't believe I was on date with him, but like, I didn't want to have sex with him 'cause I knew I'd fall in love with him and I didn't want to deal with all that. Also, it's like, you don't have to have sex with anyone

if you don't want to. So then this girl on TikTok was like, he knew she was in love with him. So he wasn't like, upset about that. He likes Carolina and Bicep because she didn't like him.

But I also feel like that oversimplifies it. Like, we don't know what happened between those two. And I think we need to stop. I really could take it all with such a grain of salt. The internet oversimplifies everything.

Yeah, I do think there is like a argument to be made that men do like they can't have. Yeah, and they do like a chase. And if you are meaner to them and they do kind of like that if you like ignore them a lot.

So my argument to that, cool. Play games, pretend you need a farm chef. Pretend whatever. And he'll you'll get his attention or whatever. That's not a long, sustainable, healthy relationship.

Certainly not. It's when you're in your early 20s. Treatment like shit, ignore them, don't respond to their text. Let them chase you. And then get eventually what's going to happen is going to happen,

which if you are toxic together, you're toxic, which is what we, I guess, happened with. I do think though like the man needs to be obsessed with you from the moment that he meets you, he can't grow to love you where women can grow

to be more attracted to you and more into you.

But if you're not obsessed with me in the first time we've met

and you're not like immediately asking to hang out again, I'm not interested. A thousand percent girls write that down. Like literally write that down.

“If you at any point are looking at seeing if you have to change”

anything about yourself to make him like you more, get out. You know. I mean, we've all been there because we're Amelia. I want you to like stalk me. I want you to be so obsessed with me

that like you can't imagine not date. Can I tell an iconic story? That's an iconic story. Can I tell an iconic story about my parents? Yeah.

My mom and dad meet on a blind date. And immediately, they're obsessed with each other. And she's like, where are you going? And he's like, I, I'm going out to Long Island for a family. Like, there's like Memorial Day, it's like a family party.

Do you want to come with me? And like that's insane if you're not attracted to the guy. You're like, you're crazy. But she's like, okay, so like that night she meets his entire family. Nothing is insane.

Well, because you want to know what if the guy says it's okay, then it's okay. Like, like, she was like, like, that's this. He was like, help me pick out a gift from my sister and let's go. Like, he made it matter like you're my wife.

So then he, he gets back, they get back after the weekend. And he's like, what are you doing tomorrow? And she's like, I have a date. Like, she was dating. She was single.

And he's like, okay, I'll drive you to the date. Break up with the guy and then we go on a date. And she was like, okay. So he drove her to the date. Let her walk in, tell the guy I'm seeing someone else.

Get back in the car with him and take her to dinner. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm going to cry. And they got engaged in six months. And they're still like obsessed with each other.

Wait, Hannah, you got engaged in like six months.

“That's why the only, you know, I'm not like a crazy”

race taker. Like, I'm not doing cocaine. Yeah. In my head, I was like, the guy I meet, I'll know immediately. Because that's what happened to my mom.

So when Des proposed after six months, I was like, good. If it was any longer, I would have to get out of this. Um, speaking of men, the salt pot. You see, everyone's really coming at and to be a shallow man.

Well, first of all, for two things, two things.

Yeah. One, he said that nobody cares about the ballet and, um, up the opera. And then the third thing is, somebody, I forget where it was. I definitely had the freaking video saved to, um, someone asked him

And he said that, like, when something to the effect of, like,

if you choose not to have children, like, bleak, what's like your life. And the girls are going crazy. Can I say one thing before we dive into it? Before we digress, yes.

[LAUGHTER] You're like, how do we want to position this? So I have so many thoughts. And let me just be a devil's advocate, because let me just truly say what's happening in my brain simultaneously.

Okay, be honest. And I'm, I mean, it's going to be so far. That's right now. In one hand, what Timothy's a shallow man said about the opera in ballet is insane, because it's like the oldest art form ever.

Like, opera has been around for like, 500 fucking years. Like, it's also, yeah, people really do fucking love the opera. So I do think that's crazy.

“But has attendance to the opera and the ballet gone down in years?”

Well, yes, because there's so many other forms of entertainment. So is what he's saying kind of true? Like, people don't care about the opera and the ballet as much as they used to. Yes, but people don't care about movies as much as they used to either.

But it wasn't his point kind of like, I want to be doing something that people want to see. And that rubbed me the wrong way, because I was like, you can't get a ticket to the Nutcracker in New York City. If you don't book it months and advance before Christmas.

But big kind of Nutcracker picture being an artist isn't about the applause. Being an artist is about loving what you do and expressing yourself creatively.

He's basically like, I do this because I can make millions of dollars

and people like it. Where it's like, first of all, you went to the Guardia High School, which is a performing arts school where everyone additions with music, dance, art, or pretty sure his parents are playwrights or something. Something.

I do think he's doing too much press. We've all been there. I've been there.

“Where I've done way too many podcasts where I have nothing left to say.”

And I'm like, I've said every story about myself. And you just start saying crazy shit. Like you're like, giving opinions on flowers. Like I don't, if I had a nickel for every time, I've called someone and been like, I'm an overexposed.

I have nothing left to say. And you're like, who's even speaking right now?

Like I've never met this person.

I do think he's overexposed. And I don't think he wholeheartedly is passionate about his statement. Like it's not like, he's not like fighting to the death. - Yeah, he's not like... - Yeah, death to the opposite. - But someone was like, also you made a movie about ping pong,

which isn't the most relevant sport. - Well, when I saw the clip, which I thought the clip was actually really funny because no one's talking about how Matthew McConaughey was kind of trying to get him to shut the fuck out. - And if Matthew McConaughey is looking at you like, slow your roll.

- Like you could hear him be like, yeah, okay. - I want to run around around around around around around around around. - The thing that I thought of was damn. - If like, let's just pick like a random or like a random actress. If Margot Robbie sat in an interview and said no one gives a fuck about the opera and the ballet,

she would not just be talked about on podcasts with like random articles written. She'd be stoned. - You're so right. They would cast her in high-go-her. - Oh, she'd be done.

- She'd Chanel would like blacklist her. - They would ruin her. - Absolutely. - Also because the arts is how you got here. - It's like being like, we'll Shakespeare that good.

It's like, okay, well, you we needed Shakespeare to get here. It's like, doesn't even understand Shakespeare. - I mean, what he said was crazy, but it's also like,

“this man, his life is so weird right now.”

Like he's in an echo chamber of everything he does everyone around him's like, "Yes, Timothé." - Yeah. - Like everyone's talking about him. - And he's so famous and you kind of lose touch with reality and that's what we're seeing.

And when, if I was a publicist, when I see my client is so fucking famous and so out of touch with reality and it's not their fault, they're dealing with an abnormal human condition. - I say, maybe let's not do podcasts. - Yeah. - Maybe let's not do a Q&A about life when he's not in touch with life right now.

- And let me just say one other thing. - Yeah. - I don't think that men should talk about having a child ever. I don't think that they should ever have an opinion on having a child because you've literally contributed the least amount of what you need to contribute to make an actual

baby. The woman has to cook this baby in her body inside of her body for nine months. If you're a woman that has chosen to live a child's free life, you've thought about living

about having a baby. My girlfriends that have gone back and forth with having children and not have thought about it way more than my girlfriends who got married and had a baby with any year. - And so maybe it's not a decision, it's just you're unable to have it and it didn't work out.

- Right. Or it's like a socioeconomic issue, they're like women are like, no, I can't bring a baby into this world.

“- Yeah, and so I think any men making any comments about like when a woman should have”

a baby, if a woman should have a baby, until you can have a baby, don't talk about it. - 100% in my stand-up show, there's a portion where I talk about like if I should have kids or not and I like to, you know, pull the audience, make a little group project, and I say like who thinks I should and shouldn't have a kid and I love talking to the women. And whenever a man jumps in with his opinion of whether or not I should have a kid.

And I go, I'm sorry, did your butthole of a giant a rip into one open sore? - I don't know, I don't know, thank you, I don't, I don't know, your opinion, yeah, I'm sorry, have you, what, how are you giving opinion? - I saw this meme or something and it was like the next time a man says he needs to have a child because of his legacy, make him name his great-great-grandfather.

- Honey, your legacy of what playing Fortnite in a swivel chair, sweetie, come on. - I've been on a, in a k-hole, another k-hole, a family, I think it's family search.org. - No, oh God, let me just put an asterisk around this because I do think it's affiliated with like some religious organization, and I may have like put my entire family in danger, but in my six hour trip to LA, the entire time, I was on familysearch.org.

- The entire time, okay, so you put first you just put yourself in, you put your parents in

“and they're birth and where it was, then it starts pulling public records of like marriage,”

certificates, census reports, and it finds their parents, and then it recommends like, is this the right person? - I went all the way to the 1400s in Sicily. - Wait, I got it, you had like, I was so hooked. - The 1400s.

- Babe, this is the funniest thing about my Sicilian side. These motherfuckers did not leave their block. They lived in the same town in Sicily, because nothing bad ever happened in their bed. - My dad's grandparents, Max Burner, May Burner, nothing after them. - Yeah, they were Polish, Austrian, Russian.

I can't find a single thing of that side, I mean, well, the Italians are... - Wait, I need to do mine because we were there, like, what if there were just like two girls that lived on the same blog and they were really funny and they were friends, but like, they'd get stoned if they said any of the things they were saying. - I also...

- They're like, maybe I don't want to make a fucking bread this Sunday. Did you ever think of that? - These women were having babies.

Like, it was like, and these names are incredible, but they were all having, like, 10 kids,

but then, like, four of the 10 kids would die. - That's fine. - It would be like, well, because they had no money for food. - And they would get a sniffle or something, but I would, oh my god, I'm pulling the girl. - These names are my need to do it.

- Nonzeo? - Yeah, I love that. - I love that name. - Nonzeo? Gio Cento.

- Nonzeo is actually on my baby. - Nonzeo is so good. - For a boy, but my mom was like, no. - It's two million. - It's two, much.

- I love who I am. - A girl named Vida. - Vida? - Vida Bruno. - Also arazmo, arazmo pipitone, shout out.

- Sorry, arazmo pipitone, whatever you're brand it, 'cause you come out with, or whatever, if you ever sell a product, regardless of what it is, that's a name of it. - Vincenzo, arazmo pipitone.

- Vincenzo, make me a fucking, - Caprese salad right now.

- You know, I always thought at some point in my life,

I would date a Vincenzo, and I never did. - Wait, I feel so, I'm so sorry. - You think you? - I have a lot of Vincenzo's. And Vincenzo's, these, I also kind of,

when it comes like naming pets, kids, I kind of love pulling it from your ancestors and like keeping it on the family. - Well, you heard a name the other day, and I saw your wheels turning,

“'cause you were like, hmm, could I name my daughter that?”

- Oh, yeah, all right, well, okay.

where like, it's a name that's Unisex, so when she emails, people can't tell if she's a man or a woman. And I was telling that to one of my good friends,

Stuart Fullerton, who's in amazing comedian.

And I was like, I love your name, and I'm gonna call you Stu. And when you email, people can't tell if you're a man or a woman, I think that's like, yeah, good. And she's like, no, everyone thinks I'm a gay man, 'cause I'm obviously using tons of exclamation points.

(laughs) She's like, no one thinks I'm like a tough dude. - Wait, that's so funny, 'cause I was just gonna say, I'd love the name Ryan for a girl. - Yeah, I love the Unisex names, but then also--

“- Exactly, honestly, the name Ryan is just like,”

two Irish for me to ever use. - No one will believe it. - Truly, my whole family would be like, who the hell is Ryan? - Also, you have to understand, too,

that like, like, Stuart's like, it's annoying to have to explain it all the time. And I would hate for me to have like a fun little feminist moment, my daughter then has to like explain herself,

'cause I had a fun, name idea for the rest of her life.

- Not to toot my own horn, but I think I have one of the best girl names in the game. - I know, everyone's waiting. - No, I'm saying, mine, you're an age. (laughs)

- It's really good. - Fuck my daughter, we don't know her yet. - You can't go wrong with me. - No, pages so, it just, I feel like truly encapsulates who I am as a human, and it's extremely feminine and girly,

but it's also like, one syllable, there's no nonsense. - I, it's page. - Feel the exact opposite, I hate my name. - Really?

- It's so soft, no one can hear when I say it. (laughs) (speaking in foreign language) - It's not me, I'm an amber.

“That's what it should have been amber or Lucy.”

- I think you're more Lucy than you are amber. Amber gives like, your amber gives such tough girl vibes. Like, Amber will fuck you off. - See that's too, I think I'm inside way. - It's my Scorpio side.

- But you're actually, I'm Lucy. - So nice. - Wait, I'm such a Lucy, I'm so sweet. - Yeah, you are. - Can't a Lucy is my name.

I tried to change it, my mom was like, no. - You had to do that in college, babe, you're too late. You could have rebranded in college as Lucy. - I almost did. - Yeah.

- If I become a pop star, DJ Lucy. - Ooh, DJ Lucy. - You wanna know what, actually, that's really good. You wanna know what, women stay pivoting. So I'm not gonna even say that you might not be a pop star

because that's some day you might be. - We know one thing about me in page, we love surprise in the giga glars. I also, this is a theory I have. I think Charlie XCX, 'cause her brat was so fucking good,

but also kind of just we auto tuned. I think it's inspired everyone to get into music. Like, Hilary Duff's like, I can do that. Like, I feel like everyone's inspired by Charlie XCX because like, I feel like Lily Allen, she's like, let's go.

- Which we both like randomly without telling each other, watch the Charlie XCX movie. I thought it was like the only person on the planet to like see it on Amazon. - Well, I paid $20 on Amazon Prime.

It's really embarrassing. I don't want to say people about that. - So did I, I was like rent immediately. I liked it. Like, I thought it gave me the vibe of that show,

I love LA. - Okay, so I liked it, but I think it didn't know if it was a comedy or not. And then I also think if you're not in that world, it's not relatable.

- Except the thought that I had while I was watching it was she was outside of the box in terms of she like, I'm gonna do a movie about my tour without doing a documentary about the tour. And it's like this will be the--

- I actually really enjoyed it. - I can understand some of the critics, I can understand some of the critics of it. - Like, I think I thought Kylie Jenner was so good.

- Like Jenner was incredible in it.

- She was incredible when she was like, it's not funny. No, it's actually not funny. - You know what it is? - I think the people wanted her to go full comedy

or no comedy and it was kind of this in-between, but again, Charlie XCX, you can't not look at her. You can't not watch her. - Yeah. - And she's British, so she's inherently more interesting.

- Yeah. - It's using that British people think that a-- - No. - No, British people are literally like, they're not even speaking English.

They're like, they've put your darling language. - That's what they think.

“That's what they think about Timothy Jameh.”

- If I was British, I would have such a superiority complex. - Well, that's why when I dated British Dave, he would be like, you guys ruined all the words, like you add, you add, like you say side walk. It's so obvious, like, of course you walk in on the side.

Like, it's that-- - Where did they call it? - They call it something like simpler.

I don't like-- - I didn't listen to him when he was talking. - But he was like, you guys put the language. - I would feel so much better. I'd be like, you guys literally had to create another country.

- Do you know that the British still like technically run Canada? Like they don't run it, but they're like in charge. - No. - Sorry, I've been traveling a lot.

(laughing) - And I actually didn't know that about the British. - Can I tell you about this weekend in Indian Wells? Like, we started at the pod, 'cause something really crazy happened.

So I'm like obsessed with the tennis channel. So I invited all the tennis channels host to come to my suite, and I met them all, and I was like, but I was like, in my head-- - You were socialized.

- I am a correspondent, like, right now,

“if you were like, Hannah, you have to do a,”

you have to call a match for Indian Wells. I'd be like, 100% and I'm over-prepared for it. Like, in my head, I'm a sports broadcaster. - Yeah. - And one of the girls, Danny, was like,

come to the tennis channel desk. So I go up to the broadcast, and I'm like hanging out on the desk, having so much fun living my life. So then they were like, let's do a segment for a tennis channel. And this girl Coco Vandue, she was like, let's hit.

Now, Coco Vandue is, um, played professionally,

is amazing, Coco Vandue, way, and I have lore.

- Okay. - I just love the name Coco Vandue. I like, she's iconic. - Sorry, I have to say it 10 times, Coco Vandue. - And she hurt grandpa, I think,

was like, an amazing football player, named Kiki Vandue, great name as well. - Great name. - Great family of great names, and athletes. - Yeah, hi, she's by the way, so fun.

“- When you meet a family of great names,”

I played her when I was 14 years old. And she's a big hitter, and I'm more like crafty, whatever. I get up five, two, and she's filming, like off her rocker, breaks her racket, and I'm like, wow, she's losing her mind, I'm gonna get this set.

And Empire comes, tells her, you get a point penalty. Like basically a slap on the wrist, and she calms down, and ends up coming back and beats me.

And I was heartbroken after that match, never forgot it.

And I reached out to her, I said, you know, we played each other, and she was like, I don't remember you. (screaming) I don't like that match for her in my life.

So then we're hitting. And it was like this incredible, full circle moment, 'cause she just retired. I'm obviously retired. And we're laughing on the court, hitting with each other.

And we had like, it was just this beautiful full circle moment of two girls who in our 14, when we were 14, we were in such an intense scary, like, angry face. - They make her break, this is-- - Life or death, crying, like it was chaos.

And then the two of us were able to just laugh and hit as to just like successful women in their 30s, even though we went about it differently, we found each other again. And it was just a beautiful international,

we'll be staying moment. And I'm so proud of her. She's like killing it as a journalist. She's such a natural, and she's so multifaceted. And all these girls I hated, like I hated all of them

in the juniors, like we all hated each other. It wasn't a team, it was me versus you. And I'm now friends with so many of these girls, I played in juniors where we all actually feel like kind of trauma bonded because we understand each other.

And so many of these girls have gone on to do so many amazing things so anyway, I just-- - I saw a thing the other day, and it was like, why do women hate each other starting at such a young age? Like, no, why do girls automatically

feel so competitive with each other? And someone said, because there's just a finite amount of girls that essentially get picked. So like, and not in marriage way, like in a work way, really in every facet of our lives, because there's so many

men around, but there's only going to be a couple women in that field. And so it's kind of like even in school. It's like, OK, well, only a couple girls are going to win this spelling beer or something.

So it's like you automatically are so competitive with each other.

“And I think that it's so important for our generation.”

I saw this other thing that it was like, if you're sitting at a table, you better make sure there's another woman there that you helped get there. - Ooh, I love that so much, because in stand-up comedy, if you guys look at any lineup, I'll say, New York City,

LA, ever.

It's always four men, one woman, because they book the men

and then they go shoot, we need a woman. So when you're a woman to stand up, you're like, oh, shit, they picked her, not me, as the woman on the lineup.

And that's why I just wanted to shout out of the comedy podcast, of the top 10 comedy podcast, the women, we are representing. We got Amy, like we have, if you look in the top 10, the women are there, and I'm proud of us, because we, like, we didn't get picked.

- Some girl posted, she was like,

I just, it was my first day of law school,

and my class is 70% women. - Well, this is the problem, they've angered us. And now we've gone too hard, and now they're upset. - And now you've made us mad. - And now we have to take your job, fuck your dad, and fire you.

- Sorry, sorry about that. - We went from zero to 100 real quick. - We really did, we went to, like, empowering women, and then we were like, off sex with your dad. - So I'd know, I did this Zoom meeting,

which as an entrepreneur, I love a little corporate Zoom. I love when I'm doing something with, like, a company,

“and they're like, can we hop on a Zoom with the company?”

And I'm like, yes, and I'm sitting there. It was all women at this company. Now, the cutest thing about this Zoom is, while we're doing the Zoom, they're all in the comments. So, like, I would be speaking, and all the girls are in the comments

being like, yes, and, like, and, like, tagging me up, being like, me too girl, and I was like, is this normal, and, like, a Zoom corporate call that all the girls are in the comments? - I at least get really confused when people do that.

- It's like, they don't want to interrupt, but you like, they want to, like, tag to us. - You want to, like, these girls were having so much fun in the comments, and then they were, like, saying, inside, giggler jokes, like, someone was like,

no, no, it's not like, this is the most fun corporate calls. - But if they were a man in it, I feel like no one's writing in the comments. That would be, like, creepy. - Well, every time I'm on a Zoom now,

and there was, like, a man, I, like, kind of, call it out,

because that never happens with us,

“because we do, we do kind of primarily work with all women,”

which let me just say one thing. As someone who has worked a couple different jobs and worked with, like, all different types of people, there have been times in my life where I'm like, oh, fuck yeah, thank God, the boss is a woman.

Like, this is gonna be so much more comfortable, and yes, in certain parts it is. Like, do I think she's gonna hit on me and get mad when I say no? No, but I've had some female bosses where I'm like,

holy shit. - Well, you might be one of the worst people I've ever met in my goddamn life, and I actually rather be getting annoyed with a man than you right now, because-- - Well, 'cause they're smarter sometimes.

- You're the posted protect to me. - Well, not to defend her, but hurt people, hurt people, and sometimes when, like, you've been abused, and when you know how hard it was for you to get there, it goes back to what you were saying,

but like, only so many women can get picked, so it becomes a girl girl girl, so you can't really girl.

“- Don't walk in the office and cut a bob,”

and not say anything to me when I had a bob. - Okay, yeah, it's so you, that is-- - Okay, so, okay, so you do actually, like me, because now you have a bob. - A bob.

- A bob for more than one bob in the room. - Totally, there's-- - But we're figuring out something out, we need-- - You're more than one bob, then people stop, like, be mean to each other.

But when you think there's only one bob-- - Bro, you could have just said to me, I love your bob, I'm thinking about getting a bob, and we would have had that moment, rather than you coming in the next day,

miraculously having a bob and never saying anything.

- You just want credit, we're credit to do. - It's not even that, it's just like, sometimes you do get excited to work with other females, and you're like, I hate them, I hate them. - Yes, actually when you said that,

I was like, that was sexist. - That was disgusting. - I got obsessed. - I was like, oh, that was actually really wild. You do get excited that you're gonna work with other women,

and I will say, like, 80% of the time, it is easier and it is better and things happen better. But there are times where you're like, you don't have to be so mean to me, because it's only us here, like, we need to band together.

Well, it's giving, like, tyrobanks, hurt people, hurt people. But I do think, like, one thing I loved about tennis was, it's the one sport where the women were, like, more famous than the men. Like, Serena, Sharapova, Monica Salas, like,

Steffi Graf, like, these, you can't argue how good they are, and me and Madison were playing tennis, and all these men were like signing up to try to hit with us, and like, I don't care what gender you are, you can't beat us. Like, it's not like a-- - Right.

- Well, I liked his jokes were funnier. No, I kicked your ass in the sport. Like, that's just rules, and it was, it was no, it's so empowering, but also the funniest thing is Lou Lemum.

They were like, how do we want you to have fun? Go play tennis. It's 90 degrees, by the way.

I've been on a plane since September.

Occasional Pilates isn't gonna do it. And even if I wasn't shape at 90 degrees, playing tennis, I would be tired. So, like, 15 minutes in, I'm like, "What a break!" And the Lou Lemum girls, like, do not push yourself.

You don't have to win. This isn't, like, just have fun. And I'm like, we're dealing with a lot of demons right now. - Yeah. - She literally was like, Hannah, you don't have to win this.

I'm like, then don't make it a competition.

“- It's tough, it's so hard, life is hard.”

So I also, like, I almost called a medic. I kept like, pretending to fall down so I could lay down. I was like, coughing. - I just would've, I would just would've laughed, Hannah. - Well, I was like, "Free will."

- What would Paige do? No, I, I wouldn't leave anything. - I pushed myself to the point where, like, my throat was bleeding. Like, I was, like, I need time.

There's something I don't want to do or someone I don't want to be around or just like, something I don't like. I remember, oh, I'm an adult, and I'm leaving. Bye.

- No, my makeup artist literally pulled me aside and took a fan and was like, "Are you like gonna faint right now?"

“- And honestly, that's how I felt when I did Love Island.”

I was like, "Actually, I'm leaving. I don't care, bye." - Which is actually so empowering, but to me,

I'm like, they finally gave a woman a chance.

And she's gonna, she's gonna black out. - I'm hearing that. - I'm in a crow. - No, that's how I felt doing Love Island. I was like, "I finally got my eye just like,

"I'm really excited." And I was like, "I'm going to my bed. "See ya, this was fun. "God of God."

“- You're so right, it's called boundaries.”

Also, I just have to say, "I've been doing this new thing "with my Duncan ice latte, where I've been putting "a shot of raspberry." - I actually downed a ham and cheese croissant

from Duncan before we did this, and I'd never had it,

and it was so fucking good. - What were fresher are you drinking? - You finished it. - I was drinking the strawberry dragon for you. - Thanks so much to Duncan for partnering with us

for that episode, and we love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling. See you on Friday, bitches! [BLANK_AUDIO]