Giggling about prophets, perfume, and gatekeeping

[MUSIC PLAYING] He can't be mad at me. [MUSIC PLAYING] I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my Galapagos Googlers.

That's a place. Nice. Not in America. Because it's cold out. It's cold out.

What is this? Like entertainment tonight? [LAUGHTER] Why are we golden like a wall? [LAUGHTER]

Lasers. Why are we crazy? Where is the city? What is the city? [LAUGHTER]

What is that again? I think it's really like a COVID thing. Yeah, it's something. [LAUGHTER] Women in STEM are the weakest us.

Showing up in our blazers. It sounds like good. Oh my god, thank you. Someone stopped me in the line.

“The airport yesterday and said, well, color nails.”

And I said, sorry, my fan page. Just told me we got them. Oh, did you do the exact same thing? Yeah, well, color is it. I don't know.

He mixes it. And then I felt like I was gatekeeping her. She's like, well, color. Like, under my head, she's like, well, color is that. And I'm like, I swear to God, I don't know.

We're just so interesting when girls will like ask that. Because I'm like, the bottles are all not labeled. Like my dad's one swipe and then does another swipe. Because like, do you like that? And I'm like, pinker.

And then he then he writes down what he combined it. Very doing full chemistry things. Also, La Roche said, bring gatekeeping back. And he's argument was like, if you were all telling people where the cheap shop in Japan is to get designer bags, guess what?

It's not cheap anymore.

He's basically like, you're guys are ruining things because you're not gatekeeping.

No, I kind of respect what I respect to. At some point, if everyone knows about something, it's not special anymore. Kind of think if there's anything I gate keep. Well, all my feelings.

Hey, first of all, everybody's nervous. Please just tell me where you're actually. I'm like, honey, get out. Isn't that your job? It's your family.

Why don't you pin a point at it? If I'm just going to tell you what I'm feeling, I feel like you're not doing your job. It's a point. Also with nails, Haley Bieber announced the new trend,

which is she likes her nails matching her lips.

“I think she's fucked with us at this point.”

I think she's just like saying random shit to see you up. I think she's on my end to the gloss article and said that I like when my nails match my toes. Wait, did you, oh, yeah, 100%. Can we go back to the gatekeeping thing for a second?

I feel like you low-key have a lot of things that you gatekeep.

Like you never, what products you put in the newsletter?

I never look at your products. I know this isn't saying to you. Yeah. I don't use products. I'm like, what's that?

What's that chapstick that you're like? Oh, I talk about it everywhere. Is that the topic again? Revival skincare youthful lip, that's $38. Is there any product that you've,

that you're like, I've been using this since college, other than like, dove deodorant? No. No. I don't, I don't attach myself to products.

You know, you don't attach yourself to big brands. Yeah. No, 100% do. 100% do. But I don't, I don't define myself through capitalism.

Right. I do gatekeep. There's one like online vintage shop that has really good stuff.

“Do you ever go to that big vintage, um, like they have it every year in New York?”

I think it was actually literally last weekend that I would love to. I wasn't around. They have like a big, um, what's it called? Like a bizarre. Like it's, yes.

We're like all these different vintage places go to one location and you can like shop through it. We should go one year.

I don't know why we never go.

Well, vintage markets have been going on. You've, you've just been. Okay. I just been looking for it. I've been in the here and now. I actually tried on something vintage recently.

And I thought of my head. I'm like, who? What were this? My jacket's vintage. It was my mom.

So I know who wore it. I can't. And she's always like, why do you always wear that jacket? I hate it. Oh, but I'm like, I love it.

We're like, can't look in the mirror. And it's like deceiving this morning. Like, oh, those are really nice out and like springy, but it's cold. Are we both really tired? I got a full eight, but yeah.

That doesn't mean anything. I got 12,000 steps in my own home yesterday. See, that's where I, I worry about you. Yeah. Were you like pacing on phone calls?

Were you on a walk?

No. Just walking around, doing different stuff. Well, I went for a walk in the morning so that, that helped. That kicked like 4,000. Then throughout the day, I was like, I could be doing more things.

I've hit the age. It just actually makes me want to die. I've hit the age. I've hit the age. Where when you're sitting on the couch,

you can't even relax. And especially on a Sunday, because you're like, I could do 10 things to get me ahead for the next week. And it's, it's really. It's actually, I now get our moms.

Like, remember? I'm going to watch TV standing up.

“Remember, when you're a little where you would be like, just sit down.”

And like, can we watch this?

There's like, I have 8 million things to do.

They're like, we're dealing with income tax, microplastics. There's a lot going on that you don't see. I'm dealing with microplastics a lot more than I should be. But that's a death, which, like, it annoys me. But it's good for my mental health.

Or if we watch two episodes in a row, he'll look at me and go, Okay, we need a little break. He's like, we should walk around the block. Something, I got break. No.

Locking mother fucker. Yeah. So he, like, he's like that where he's like, so I just can't sit for too long. Like, I'll watch TV lying down. And he'll just be sitting up watching it.

I'll lay for so long that I literally, my hip starts starting. No. All the lower back is because when I'm watching something, I'm in a contorted, laying down pose.

And butters lying on me in a weird position. So I have to hold it or show move. Yeah. But anyone who watches multiple episodes of TV, like, bitches, just like sitting up on their couch is crazy.

I've never sat on a couch.

I've never sat normally on a couch. Me neither.

“If I want to sit normally on a couch, I get a chair.”

I don't even have chairs in my living room, because I think it's inappropriate. [laughter] Like, don't come over and think you're better than me. And send a chair in my living room.

Get a blankie and be a real human. Have you ever seen those Instagrams that are like, what kind of person are you if you walk into a room, which chair would you sit in? Yeah.

I love those. That's the key. I'm like, this is my hobby. That was a human lamp. That's literally just you and lamp.

Okay. You want to know a gripe I have? Yeah. Do you ever go, do you? Your son is sure.

[laughter] Do you ever go to the grocery store? No. Right? It's obsolete.

It's not the thing that humans do anymore. Do I say every week? I'm going to go to the grocery store, yes. Do pop in maybe because like you're passing one and you're really thirsty or like you need one thing

and it's right there. But I'm not going. Here's the other thing. It's New York City. So you can't actually go to the grocery store

and do like a big hall because you can't physically carry it home. Yeah. So I feel like when I even when I first moved to New York, when I first moved to New York, there was a grocery store under my apartment.

Which was amazing. I didn't realize how spoiled I was. And you could go into your grocery shopping and they would bring it up for you. I remember that.

It was like a thing you could do. You'd have to pay extra for this company. This is called Jubilee Market. And I loved it so much. And Jubilee, we love your work.

It was so nice. But now with Instacart, like you can do a whole big order, whatever. I find myself having to do two separate orders from two different places

because, first of all, I only ever get matched with a man, ever on Instacart or like Uber eats. That's the universe I'm fun. A lucky day, you'll get an Instacart and it will be a woman and you're like, they know where the produce is.

Like, thank God. But seriously, there's no something should be done because you waste. I waste so much money just redoing the order. I'm like, I know for a fact,

they're actually not out of raspberries. Because every time I ever go on into the grocery store, straight into my raspberries. 33 years. Christian raspberries.

What's that? There are five million packages of raspberries. Raspberry. Raspberry is like, saying to him, like, this is the color teal.

Like, they just don't process it. They're like, it's strawberries or oranges. They also don't know about Clementine's. Oh, they do not know about Clementine's. Like, in the amount of times,

I've gotten a great fruit and I'm like, well, this is not a fucking sumo orange. And then I'm like, I'm not a big chef, obviously. So I'm not ever buying for like, oh, my God. I'm making a frittata and I can't like,

no, you saw I take talk about sumo oranges and you want to do it. I can drink squeeze that.

Like, so it's never like really messing up.

Have you ever had a pomegranate? Have you ever tried to like take the seeds out of pomegranate? No, I did this when I was little ones. It took me eight hours. It was the most fun I've ever had.

“It's one of the, you have to like, hit this thing.”

And then like you have to like spit out the seeds, but then at one point you just start eating them because you're like, fuck it.

I think at one point I was spitting them out,

“because I thought they were going to grow in my stomach.”

So you don't like suck down them and then like spit them out. But now I just buy them already, like, take it out of the thing. I love it. I missed the fun.

Now they just have pome juice. We used to have to. We used to grow it. Pick it off the wherever it is, the tree. - I saw a thing on the internet that said

if you were born between 1991 and 1999, you had the most picturesque childhood. - Are you crying right now? - But I love your nostalgia. - I love your nostalgia.

- I love your nostalgia. - Our generation has a really hard time growing up. - Also, I heard that Jen's users are trying to do malls 'cause they want to live what we lived. And it's like the moments over, babe.

Also, I'm becoming a, you know, yeah, you just become the older people in your life. - 'Cause you have no place around. - Yeah, I was at the airport yesterday and a young girl, maybe like,

I don't know, I can't tell after, like, on Thursday. They could be nine, they could be 60, I can't tell. - She must know idea. She was like 12, 13 maybe. - Okay.

- Full juicy outfit. - Yeah.

- I was like, we wore those when it first came out,

but I should be happy, I should be like, the things like come and bring back around. - By the way, only gripe I have with 12 year olds. (laughing) Say it, someone needs to call them out.

- I don't afraid, and I don't want to, I'm not mom-shaming, I'm not.

“The only thing sometimes I think is inappropriate”

is when little girls have long nails, like long fake nails. Maybe that's just because my mom wouldn't let me and I'm jealous of those girls. - I think that's the least offensive thing

a girl could do is have long nails. Let her have some art on her hands. - Totally, get your nails done, but I think long nails are a very cool girl. - No, but how are they typing?

- How are they typing? How are they, I just think it looks to adult. - Well, a girl posted on Instagram, kind of like, why would your hands ever not be manicured?

- And she's getting eaten alive by girls. Full women in STEM who are like, with a small brain surgeon. - Is it tall? - Is it tall?

- What's it? - Tahoe, not Tahoe. Chris, what are those? - A truck. - It was, backhoe.

- What the hell is that? - Chris, you know what the backhoe is? - Like, for like gardening and stuff? - Spall it, word you know. - A backhoe?

- Yeah, like a big bag though. - Oh, like a construction. - Yeah, scrolls in construction. - Got it, got it. - Sorry, I really threw us all off the internet

whenever we was like, stop the pot. Oh, also, so I was in Miami. This is how my ADHD works. In Miami and the flight got delayed. So I was like, I'm gonna do some cleaning.

'Cause the only time I can clean is if, I know we only have a short amount of time. I'm like, I've 30 minutes left to clean. - Yeah. - 'Cause if you have all morning, you'll have to do it.

- I love a child. So I'm like, the school's 30 minutes hard. 'Cause then you don't. - You are at the person that's like, oh my god, I have all day to get ready.

I'm gonna wait until 30 minutes so I can rush. - My favorite, 'cause then you're actually productive. - Yeah. - I mean, we stress it all the day. So I'm like, okay, 30 minutes.

Let's try to put some clothes away. And I put on my sandals. You know, they say if you have ADHD, should wear shoes in the house because you're more productive. - It's true.

- Is that? - Yeah, it's true. I think it's particularly cool. - I think it's particularly cool. - Yeah, maybe.

But I was wearing these, these flip-flops running around, which is essentially a slip-up. - I didn't wear it. - I didn't. I'm not gonna fight about this.

(laughing) I don't know. And then I'm like, okay, it's good to the airport. Get to the airport. By the way, I'm going to New York City.

And I'm in a line and someone checks my ID. And she gives me a look up and down. Like, looks at my feet. And I'm like, that was weird. Look down.

Still wearing my sandals. And I'm like, I'm at the airport. If my sandals go in New York. New York is 45 degrees. And I'm like, this is the kind of stuff I do.

- Okay, see your whole story was about walking out of the house in a slipper. (laughing) - But I didn't occur to me until another woman looked me up and down.

- Yeah, I was like, she's like, you're wearing your dogs. - Yeah. (laughing) You got more problems doing that. - On the plane of my dogs out. - Right, they called.

- Actually, they were fine because I run hot, but it was when I got to New York City that I'm, you know, you're stepping in puddles which are Chernobyl. (laughing)

So I have to check if I've got on my toes now. - I saw that you watched the Netflix documentary that you were like, I'm not watching. - Yeah. - What did you think?

- I thought against it. - Well, it's because, like, if you've seen one, you've seen them all, it's the same guy. - I have so much to say.

First of all, I want to apologize

whenever I watch documentaries. I just say what it's about, I don't say the actual title because I watched too many. - Yeah.

“- You were like, that's not, that's how I know.”

- It's like false profit something. It's number one on Netflix right now. You can't miss it. - Truth, something. - Truth of something.

- Truth and something. - White salamander. So we have a Mormon giggler correspondent.

- Yeah, she tagged me and she's like, please, please, please do not just say Mormon. This is L-D-S-L-C-D-S. - Oh, that, L-F-L-F-S-D.

“- I think that was actually really close.”

- S-D-E-L-S-D-S-T-D. - I'll ask-- - 69 at A-Wild. (all laughing) - This is the San Diego. (all laughing)

- Sorry, my mom is here. Latter-day Saints, L-D. - But isn't in the documentary, they're like a more extreme-- - They're basically like,

they're basically like Mormons, don't even, aren't even religious. - Yes, they're like Mormons, or? - Course. (all laughing) - It's like they're like, no, they're like--

- They're like, they're like-- - They're like-- - They're like, they're like-- - They're like--

- The most important-- - The most important--

- They made up that they don't even go to fucking church. These are the real ones. And it was funny, the girl, even, she was like, we are celebrities in our own right, because we're the only ones that are actually close to God.

And they know everyone looks at them weird, but they love it. And you know what? - SLDS. - FLDS. This is my thing, I'm pretty for all of them,

'cause I'm like, find a purpose babe. Like, the girls are there, and they are like, well, if you're born and at like three years old,

when you have first starting having your first memories,

and someone's like, you've been chosen. Like, what else are you supposed to believe? That's all you know. - Also, it's not like, lacks of days. Like, they're like, you're gonna die in the burning depths

of hell.

“Or are you gonna be like having the time of your life in heaven?”

- Pick a side, you pick it, you pick it, you can do it every once, which one? - They're like, we're giving you, we're telling you what's gonna happen. I think the craziest part, too, is like,

when they had to go get regular clothes to get that guy from jail, they were like, I don't wanna do this. Like, I don't wanna wear this. I don't wanna be looking normal at all.

It's like sad. - It's brainwashing is real, but I didn't wanna watch it, 'cause I was like, I've seen this like a crazy man convinces all the women I've sex with him, like, how many times have I been nickel?

But it's way more interesting than that, because it's this quirky, quirky, funky, fun lady. Who, I wanna be, by the way, yeah. Who lived this crazy life in Hollywood where she was a puppet, she did puppets?

- I missed that part. - You were underpunked. - She was a puppeteer? - Yeah, she did puppets, like, she, she's like, oh man, okay, missed it from that part. She was like, miss California, I don't know, she's lived a crazy life, she's now with this like hot foreign dude who does music videos, like she's having fun, but she decides to move to Colorado Creek.

- Well, she was a wife of one of these guys, so she like kind of knew the brainwashing and he did like really crazy things to her.

“- Well, yeah, first I was like, why is she suddenly feel compelled to live there?”

And she's like, I was a victim of religious cult, and I totally get how, like, that kind of sits with you, like you're like, I need to do something about this. - Yeah. - So she's at Colorado Creek, and these people like, she sticks out like a sore thumb, she's like this Barbie doll looking blonde with her husband who's like, has a camera everywhere, and everyone's like, who the fuck are you, and it took her like months. - They're also in the middle of, no gorgeous backdrop though, but it's like all polygamy, polygamy, polygamy, polygamy, and she gets in with this crew.

- Well, I said I short, the prophet, the prophet was this guy, he died, his son. - And we went to jail. - Well, his son decided I'm the prophet. - Right, right, right. - Then like, married, like all these 11 year olds, and they're like, you need to go to jail, and everyone was like, he's perfect, he never did anything wrong. You guys are lying about him, he's in jail, and everyone like doesn't know what to do, and when the guys in jail he tells them all they can't have babies or get married, which is giving jealous.

- Like, sorry, just because you're in jail doesn't mean, yeah, and also everyone's related already, so it's like, they're already struggling to like build the community. - Which they didn't think about that. - They didn't think about that. - They didn't talk about that, there's only so many to work with. - So, all the kids here have seen that. - Wait, I didn't even think of that, that that is like, what's that called again? - Insust, yeah. - That's a scientific term. - I'm sorry, I'm not throwing it. - That'll be in the title, but if you think about it.

- They told the Mormon wives, they have to have a kid every year. - Oh my God, no, you could die. - Yeah, the kids are just dropping out at this point. - Wait, that's like, really scared. - Actually, I want to make sure not for your body. - So I want to make close friends is like about to give birth.

- Yeah. - She could go at any moment. - Yeah. - And this is the first, this is my first friend that, like...

- You're having a real baby? - Is having a real baby. - Like my first friend that I would call it to weigh in and be like, you have to pick me up, is having a baby.

- Wait, that was last year. - When I get a facial, I'm always the person that they're like, you need to buy this cream and they put like a gun to your head and I always feel bad.

- So I'll buy one of them and then they're like, that was $700. - Wait, I buy it. - That's two type of people. - Yeah. - That's so interesting when you get out and you're up at the counter and you're paying. - Yeah. - And they're like, oh, she recommended this list for you. - Do you always say no? - Yeah, always. - See, I feel like because I didn't get a lot of facial because I don't know what I'm doing in my face, that's like the one time a person like a doctor would be like, we recommend this vitamin C, whatever.

And they always say, what are you using on your face and I'm like, I don't fucking know. - Whatever it is. - So you don't realize it's salesy. - I'm so I bought an insanely expensive cream being like, well, this is going to change my life.

“I'd never use expensive creams. - Yeah, broke out. - What was that? - I don't remember, it was just like, just like a moisturizer. - No, it was like a serum.”

- That you were supposed to use like at night. - My thing is if I'm going to pay that much for a serum, I would have perfect skin. - Well, because you don't use a ton of stuff like it's almost like your skin is brand-new.

Like, it's like, well, well, what is that? So I feel like if it's not broke, don't, you don't fix it. - Yeah, I can't wait to see what it was. - Oh, I have to, I totally forgot. - Yeah.

But anyway, so in the polygamy world, they're left with no leader and they're not allowed to do anything and they're all starting to go crazy. And then this literally, Joe Schmo, like he wasn't even respected in the community, he didn't have money, which some of these Mormons have money, by the way, like they're loaded. - Yeah. - He had no money. - Because they have all these women working for it. - Oh, yeah, that's crazy. - That's a crazy shop going on. So he, this Joe Schmo disappears the one thing I don't got. - Yeah. - Okay, I get the clothes, aspects like you want to be covered up and it's like, try to, like, whatever. - They obey the men.

- I'm not, I don't understand the hair styles. - I was going to say, it's kind of iconic. Like, I feel like if Hayley Bieber did it, everyone would be doing it. - The wave. - No wave. - It's just like, how are you getting your hair like that? - I get so many products and I can't get the standard. - Yeah, because you know they're not using dices.

“- Yeah, like, what hairspray are you using? - Are you using it? - But it doesn't look tease, it looks very smooth. - Yeah, I'm like, how are you getting that whole swoop?”

- And it looks all take no hair extensions. - No hair extensions, I mean, their hair is gorgeous. - It's so intrusive, but I wonder if they're allowed to shave. - Great question, great question. - Great question, I'll have our Mormon correspondent. - Yeah. - And if she doesn't feel comfortable, I don't understand. - She doesn't understand. - But like, their whole thing is about obeying men. So it's funny because you're watching these women. - And I'm looking at them, like, were they born like this, like, is this them? Like, because they've been trained, like, they actually love obeying men.

And they love sitting back. And then you realize that they're brainwashed. - Yeah. - And not to give away anything. But like, at the end, when you see some of them after realizing that they were brainwashed, they're completely different people. - Yeah. - They're women who are have a purpose, again, who, like, have opinions. The girl literally was like, every day I realized there's new things I can learn and be.

“- Yeah. - And I'm like, there's new things that I love doing. Like, was it she was, like, dirt biking or something?”

- Yeah, yeah. - Like, doing like the most bad stuff. She's, like, a surgeon DJ. - She's doing crazy shit. - Yeah. So part of me was, like, oh, maybe these are just, there are women that just want to obey to, like, Joe Schmo. - But do you think there's any, do you think there's any girls that are, like, really deep in it that have ever come across gigantly squad? 'Cause I feel like one episode of gigantly squad, they'd be like, I might be brainwashed. - You know what? I literally was like, get me in that villa. - Yeah.

- For me in that villa, I swear to God. - I swear to God.

- 'Cause there's something in me where, like, the second a man tells me what to do in any capacity. I reject it.

- You know what else, people? - And I also can smell a con man, a mile away. - That you can. And you know what else, people don't talk about is, unless he's good looking. - And it takes me about seven months. - And that's your cross fair. - And that's your, I'm like, can I only wanted to see, I don't know if he is reading Comprehension. - Yeah. - You're like, it's fine, I'll read for him.

- It's fine, I'll spell it out for him. - If he was a jawline, I'm like, but this guy didn't even have a jawline. - The thing that's, I don't think, like, they're obviously not allowed to talk about her. They have it in these documentaries, is, like, okay, you know, the mom that was, like, I was catching onto it and then, like, she went to the blonde woman and was like, you got to help me. Like, I haven't given my kids out of this. - I feel like in some community communities, there has to be, like, a ring of women

- Yeah. - Say, like, the bonds that the women must actually, because they don't realize how trauma bonds they are. - Well, they're so bonded. The sisterhood is beautiful, like, that they have each other. And there's, it's funny, like, there's no jealousy, because I think they're all just, like, we're all going to have it together. - Yeah. - And, I mean, maybe there is some jealousy of, like, who's, you know? - But, like, couldn't they realize that this guy was obviously, like, like, sorry, this guy, obviously isn't that, like, the normal IQ that, like, a person, that age would be.

- You know, just having one conversation, I'd be like, looking at you of a fourth grade reading level. - People who, like, didn't watch, it's literally this, like, a very average man with, like, 15 girls around him at all times, for ranging from, like, 10 years old to, like, 30. And, you know what it was giving? The Bachelor.

It was giving the Bachelor, where, like, do you know when the Bachelor season would always start, you never watch it, but it would always start where the guys, like, you're, like, he's fine.

- Yeah, and then by season three, the girls start becoming obsessed with, because, like, they never see him when they do, he's picking another girl. - It's all the psychology of, like, those girls want him, and then the guys on the Bachelor, their head must get so fucking big. - 'Cause they're just sitting there with all these girls, like, pick me, pick me, pick me, and then in their head they're, like, if I get picked, I get Instagram deals, I get all these things. So then it's, like, a full mental warfare, because these girls are basically, like, if I can just stay with him, I am going to heaven.

“- And that's what they tell the Bachelor conditions, they're like, if you, if you keep, you will get a million followers.”

- Yeah. - So you just become, and then next thing you know, you're, like, I need to be around him. I love him. He's actually amazing, and next thing you know, like, it takes time. And all these girls didn't want to be with him originally. - Yeah. - But then they realized, like, it is kind of crazy how, like, dating shows, it's social experiments. - It's crazy how dating shows still are so watched and profitable when, like, everyone filming the show. The end result is to, like, get followers to make money, to, like, live.

- Also, the argument when people would be, like, they're not there for love or, like, they're on the reality show to get famous. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Who's not? Who's the reality show to become a better person? - Who's, like, you know, would be good for my growth. - Currently not. - I prefer, I prefer people don't give us enough credit for, for, for, leaving. - For truly being, like, actually, I don't want to be FLDS anymore.

- I want to wear my hair the way I was. - That was you. That was you. I fortunately was forced out.

“- I was the girl that were, like, you're not behaving.”

- You want to know what they knew early that you were going to blow up the whole thing. - Because she is not listening to the leader. - She's trying for love. - No, but I wasn't listening to the leader. I was questioning how things were working. I was getting, I was talking back to the wrong people and they were, like, get her out. - Get her out. - Wait, because, basically, I was, like, either follow me.

- I tried to take over. I was, like, following me. I know it's right. I have a feminist mentality of this. - I'm going to empower the women. - I'm going to, like, get her the fuck out. - Yeah. - Get her the fuck out. She's ruining the whole hierarchy that we built. - She's going to ruin the world. - Yeah. - Wait, I'm obsessed when you put it that way. It makes me feel good. - Yeah.

- The whole group setting, there's, like, one girl that's always on his lap, like, hanging off him.

- The one part for me that they, I wish they would dive into more. - I wish they should make more shows of people who are out of it. - Yeah. - Like a documentary of, like, their lives now. They're sleeping arrangements. I'm like, "What are you sleeping?" - You're putting 10 girls in one bed that doesn't even, they're not fitting.

- What are you talking about? - That's all you know. It's like, "My Nana growing up." She was sleeping on the floor. That's all she knew. And she loves it. - I guess that is, I guess that is true. - Like, they're not taking, that's a whole different kind of cults where they take you from, like, a good place.

“But a lot of the time with cults, they say, like, "You have to endure pain."”

So when you're feeling pain, you feel like close to to God. You feel like you're gonna earn the love of things.

- I know, you can never see that. - Don't get no.

- But I can see that. - And my head, God's, like, doesn't want me to struggle, because he's like, "You're a perfect, you're adorable. Why would I give you this hard stuff?" To be perspective, like, they would be like, "You have to, you know, run to miles." And I be like, "I don't want to do that, but if I want to be a champion,

I know I have to, because other people won't." So I just kept pushing myself, pushing myself, pushing myself, until I had nothing left to give. Except trauma on this podcast. - So I know we will be hate being told what to do.

- You want to be a mom? - I'm a mom. - Yeah, I'm just gonna say, unless I was in your vaginal canal, don't tell me what to do.

I will listen to her till the day I die.

But anyone else, I'm sorry, you weren't with us in the hospital. - Are you at the point where you don't take advice from anyone anymore?

“- Yeah, but when did we, I think, do you want to know something?”

I think one of the reasons we're so similar is because we do have the same type of relationship with our parents, and I think we grew up very similar. - If I go to this. - Oh, so I don't think you've ever taken advice. Someone that isn't your mom, and I don't feel like we've listened to recommendations.

- I'll read your suggestion. - You can submit to the DJ. - You can request your song. - You have free well. - It's running by Lenore.

- At the end of the day, the two people making the decision. I mean, sometimes we're like, say to my dad, you can excuse yourself. - You don't actually need to-- - Sometimes you don't have clouds.

I'm like, you need to go. - But there are times where my dad's thrown in a sentence. We've taken that sentence. We say he has a good point. - At the end of the day, the decision should be gone.

It's still run by a lot of things. I guess I was like 32 or 33 and I had a big, important career call. And my mom was on the line. My mom was on the Zoom taking notes. It was like, what is that lady doing?

I go, she's taking notes. - No.

“- And she was literally shaking her head at points.”

I go, she didn't like that. - I don't want that. - One time, my mom fixed her glasses on a Zoom and I go. She's per stirred lips. - We're done here.

- We're done here. She's actually put her pen down. She doesn't need to hear anything else. - I heard someone be like, oh, wait, two kids. - You can't bring your mom to a meeting.

I go, watch me. Watch me. Okay, I'll take her to action. She is. You bring your mom.

- I'm so happy you've said that because they're-- - I'm going to tell her all afterwards. I'd rather her see it firsthand. - In the past year, Kim has been on so many Zoom. - She's on your emails.

- And people are like, oh, and this is Paige's mom. And I'm like, oh, she's not just my mom. - She's the character of operations of my life. - Yeah, what are you talking about? She's the only person in this meeting there.

- She's actually-- - Cares about my best interest. - Period. - Period. - It's crazy.

And it's true. So anyone-- - And mental load, those two must have it. It's really, it's actually sad.

“- It's like, I think about having a daughter and I'm like,”

I actually don't want a third career.

No, I can't then manage her career. - You look like I have to go through so many years. - I mean, we're gonna have daughters, and they're gonna be like, don't we? We're gonna be like lawyers or doctors.

I guess we're not. (laughing) - Yeah. My mom had a retire from her job to keep up. - Same.

My mom had a retire from her job. And now, works full time. - Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system powering like half the places I go. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought,

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of red-capital business world, the red-capital business world,

I'm not too brag. Yeah. I am not trying to come for you in my company, because it's a thing people are doing since it's a beginning of time.

I'm coming for my brand. Yeah, you're right in kindergarten. There was another girl. Her name is Paige,

and I'll never forget a Paige Barber.

You're out there. Same idea, I haven't done anything. She didn't like my dress, pre-school, and I never forgot it. She said there's only room for one page

in this kindergarten class. It was pretty nice. It had yellow flowers on it. She was like, "I don't like it." And I was like, "Oh, it was the first time

I'm going to bed so I'm going to take a risk." The first time?

“Someone, I think, ever told me they didn't like something,”

and it was like a corn memory in my life. No, I forbid you have a little whimsy. I went out to my mom and I go, "She's like my dress." Can you believe that?

I was dumbfounded. I mean, well, I was pretending I was null and scratching the other kids and they had to, you know, call the police. But I read a book.

Yeah. I bought fame sick by Lena Dunn. Oh, okay. You already read it? Well, I was on the flight yesterday.

And I was going to do the audiobook, but I also brought the book. I ordered strangers. Good. The actual book.

It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. Oh, great. So, I read for three hours.

Like read, read, read. I read 150 pages yesterday. Oh, my God. But I also can't read a book. I can't read a book.

We're starting a book club. We're not. Which we're starting. Okay. But everyone should read.

So, I'm obsessed with fame sick right now because one girl's raised us. Like, we remember one girl's would drop like the new episode of the draft. And it would like a different color of girls.

We'll come on the screen. I'm trying to send Lena Dunn on my hand. Because I'm like, she would love. Hannah Werner or Hannah Horvath doesn't matter. Same.

It's the same. It is funny. She was describing the characters. And Marnie is so you. It's so funny.

Actually. And Hannah is so me. They were like, she means well, but her deliveries off. And like we live together.

And I'm like, all I care about is me. And they love each other. Yeah, they did. They really did.

So because we are working on our first ever TV show,

I took it as like a research where she's discussing how she got off the ground. Mm-hmm. Um, she was like doing little films with like the safety brothers

and like little out of college. Yeah, like little festivals. And she basically was like, it's a boys club. Just like all these boys making movies.

And she puts out tiny furniture. She puts out this in the film. Oh, yeah, yeah. It blows up. And she's like,

I have something here. And next thing you know is like a 24 year old. She didn't written girls yet. No. Okay.

She walks into HBO. Well, she had all these LA meetings. And there's really funny to talk about. And then she walks into HBO and they like get her. And they're like, let's do it.

So she talks about writing the pilot. All the stuff that goes into it. And I'm like, I'm locked in. Mm-hmm. It's really fascinating.

“And I think you should read it to help our journey.”

Yeah, maybe I will. Because she talks about the casting process. She talks about her anxiety through it. Also the girl's pilot was. Like you rarely do watch a show where the first episode is one of the best episodes

of the whole season. And girls I feel like really was. Like usually you watch one episode and you're like, okay. Like I'll watch a second. But I remember watching that first episode

and being like, this is the best show. This is a TV. Well, and it was back then. We're actually a lot of stuff wasn't being made. So it aired and her life immediately changed.

She was, they made it. They she had done like a little press thing. They took that photo, put it on the cover of New York Magazine. What was this? Like 2006?

Like later 2010. I've no idea. Look, I've been around for a long time. Yeah. I watched so much TV.

But like, it was, everyone was locked in on it. And she's on cover of Vogue. Like, and she, this is the thing about her. She's not like us. We're front facing people.

We're like, put me in front of the camera. Uh-huh. She wanted to be a movie director. She wanted to be sitting in the chair writing and directing. And she was like, I guess this role could be for me.

And HBO was like, you'd be perfect for it. So she didn't want to be way out. So she didn't write it with the intention of her being the main character. No. And then it also talks about her meeting Jack Antonov and their relationship.

So I'm only 150 pages in. But which I, for whatever reason during that time of pop culture. I, I like don't remember that. They were like, I don't remember him. He was like touring all the time.

And they would occasionally have like cutesy little.

“I think maybe because they were, it was more like,”

then he went on to date like a Lord. Yeah, I haven't got to that drama yet.

But um, she is such an amazing writer.

And I think it's because she's not trying to be anything but herself. And I feel like you know when you read things and people are like, I'm so hot.

I feel like so many of these autobiographies.

Everyone's like, it was so hot. Like she's just, she's just like herself. And you fall in love with her. And she, she talks about everything. Um, and she's hilarious.

So anyway, I'm really enjoying it. But she also talks about how also it was like right on social media. I feel like started. She, and no one told her that you like can't be reading about yourself. So while everyone else was like calm down, she was the face of it.

So she just searched her name and see all these horrible things about her. When really she was at the most iconic time of her life. But in her head, she thought that everyone hated her. Yeah. Because that's what the internet is.

That's when actually she was changing the world for women. She really was.

“She was definitely changing it for like, I think this industry.”

But everyone was. Oh, yeah, and then at one point they told her she has to gain weight. Because they, she was getting too thin. They were like, you have to be fat. For the role.

Yeah. And she, and she's dealing with her own like image issues and food issues. And she like couldn't comprehend like it was very complicated. Because she felt like the whole show was riding on her weight. Do men ever have to get really fat for a role? Like, what's the last time?

They do, but people like really applaud them. They're like, he gained 20 pounds the next day. He lost 20 pounds because he shot it out. I can't think of like one movie where I'm like, oh my god, he played like. He had to gain like 40 pounds for that.

Other than like Christian bail, but it's like, Well, I know the guy from DTF St. Louis who dated Lillian and he put on like a fat suit. For the DTF? Yeah, to get like a tummy. Sorry, I said to the tummy.

I'm so weird. It was an imperative for him to be big for that role. Yeah, he's supposed to be like, Shlubby. Love saying that word, Shlubby. Um, you know what I love, Shlap?

I love saying Shlap. Shlap is such a good word. It's such a New York ward. Dietta, I think. Yeah.

Thank you. We have my mom nodding. Shlap. Um, also one more documentary. Born to bull on HBO.

To bull ride. Bull. Oh, I think he said born to bull. So Ben Stiller produces it and it is.

“It's giving, if you're into the chest documentary,”

you'll be like, it's the same kind of man. Um, 80. Where in the country are they? It's a little like Midwestish. But these guys have full time jobs because like you can't make a living off of it

unless you're like winning everything, which is like very difficult. And they're how much are you winning? You could win up to 100 grand for like a huge tournament. But like, if you don't, you could lose money. Yeah.

And it's these guys lives of bowling. And whenever there's a competition, I'm in. They all have like characters. Um, I'm invested. It's like theater.

Yes, bowling is very theatrical. Yes. And it's, it's also like pretty simple. Like, so if you make one little mistake, you're fucked. It's very mental.

And one of the guys.

I never would assume it's very like one on like tennis where it's like,

if you messed up like no you messed up for your team. Yeah. And like they're sacrificing their families to like be on the road for three months. Why is it bowling in the Olympics? It should be.

Right. I'm also obsessed with it with one of the guys why wives. She was a former college boulder. And she's like, I just, we get each other. Like curling is in the Olympics.

And you're not just like going. You're not on a Friday night being like, oh my god, you know, would be fun if we all in curling. You're not planning your daughter's eighth birthday at a curling center. Like, why wouldn't bowling?

I leave the Olympics. I love bowling because I love when people take things too far. Like, I love it. You're like at a birthday party and you're like, what if I mastered this? Like, I love that for them.

Remember? Um, bumpers. Do you remember bumpers? Yeah, most whenever. Like, I didn't realize people weren't using them.

I was like, why would you not use a bumper? That's crazy. And then when they took them away, I'd be like, this is stupid.

“That's why I was like, when the government was like, do you want to pay taxes?”

And I checked the box. It said no. Why would I, if you're giving me the option? Why would I pay taxes? Did I owe money to the government?

Yeah, I did that. I thought it was the first time I ever had like a job with the W2. They were like, fill out this form. And you were filled out the W2 for the first time. Yeah.

It is a scariest thing ever. I don't know anything, man. Yeah. And it says, it's actually insane that as a senior in high school. There is not a class for the things that you are immediately going to be hit with

as soon as you graduate.

It's all like never heard up.

And there's like nine. Yeah. When they start, and then they tell you, like, you should know, when they start talking about health insurance and they say, what's that? Yeah.

Oh, my God. The words they were using. It's like, school. They're like, yeah, go, go to the real world. So you would have the real world.

It was like, do you want to pay federal tax? And I was like, no.

So they never took it out.

“Why would they give me the option if it's illegal to not do it?”

And that's when my accountant at the time was like, are you sitting down? You know, like, you don't like filing the dollars. But he was like, are you sitting down? And I'm like, how does this happen to me? And he's like, did you check something?

And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. No, I get that. Anyway. So I'm woman in STEM of the week for that.

I had the best meeting with my friend. Actually, Ali, we were like going to jump on a call to like write something. And do you know when you have a meeting? It was like 6 p.m. No, it was 4 p.m on a Friday.

Do you know when you have a meeting? How, like, you're so dramatic. The three hours before it. Like, you can't focus on anything because you have a meeting coming up. And I was like, I'm going to take a nap.

And like, the nap was like so good before it. Because I'm like, these are my last moments. Well, doing a meeting on a Friday at four is insane. So I, we had rescheduled twice already. Because no one's listening.

I was like, I can't reschedule. So this is why I love that. Just a two of you. Yeah, this is why I love Ali. Get on the phone.

And she's like, I'm tired. By the way, and I go. So I'm like, do you know what I'm going to do this?

“And she goes, did we hop on the Zoom call to cancel the Zoom?”

And I was like, wait, I wish I was on. No, you would have loved. I was so bad. We literally go. We're in charge.

Like, we could cancel this right now. Yeah. And she was like, let's not do it. And I was like, I was doing, because I thought you wanted to do it.

And she's like, I never want to do it.

And I was like, having free will. Like, I was supposed to go to the dinner. The other night. And I was like, what if I just put the outfit on, took pictures, and then didn't go?

Never. And everyone was like, yeah, you could do that. You are like, don't tell anyone on the phone. Yeah. I was like, okay, right.

Get a camera. You got a picture right now. Also, Ali and I did end up talking for like 20 minutes on the Zoom. It wasn't work really. I was like, anyway, how are you?

Now that we're here. And we're just gossiping. And I was like, we could have done so much work on that. But we canceled the call. And it was like, do you know that?

Like, the two minutes before you get on a Zoom that I am just there by myself, with other people. I pretend that I'm on my phone texting you to tell you to come on the Zoom. But do you know why? Because I get nervous.

Well, I'm like, oh, actually, I'll text her right now. Like, she's coming.

I'm surprised that you keep dealing with that.

Because I purposely show up two minutes. Like, because I don't want to be early on. You know, I fucking knew who you were doing. That's so that you didn't have to do the beginning. Like, hey, where are you?

The pleasure trees? The pleasure trees. I don't know myself. You were skipping the pleasure trees. Yes, I'm not doing the pleasure trees.

Wait, I'm going to skip two. Yeah, you just have to show up like one minute 30 seconds late. And they've already done their own stuff. And then you come in all like, what I miss. And they're like, don't worry about it.

I'm like, okay. And then I go straight to business. I said, you're fired. That chest documentary did something for you. You can't.

People are out here playing checkers in your playing chess. How'd you not realize that? I should have done it. Because I'm consistently doing the way you have your time. I'm just going to have an oven all actors because you come on the zoom as if you were rushing from something.

I was. I'm actually not sorry. I'm actually going to be there two minutes later. Looking at something else. You're like, I'm like something.

I'm like something. He's all the same. I'm just a woman in STEM. I've imagine your kids running around. I'm like, sit.

Nah. There are no kids for such things. Besuch the road-cappuccino leaves the world in Freiburg. With your meals, the oven. Or with all kinds of topics from life.

What do you have to do?

“You have to take care of our interactive equipment.”

With the items, you have an audio guide and a classic. And the next part is the whole world from road-cappuccino. The road-cappuccino leaves the world only one century. My mom tried to poison me this morning. Where?

Home or go out there? Oh, no. Because we haven't kind of morning together in a while. And she's the best. So I wake up and she goes, you're coffee's ready.

And she's making the bed wall on minute. That's her favorite thing to do. She's making the bed. You're the cat. You're her cat.

And she's like, it's your stuff. You plan that we have to do. And she's like, I'm ready. I'm fully ready. You haven't done anything.

So I get out of bed. And I see whole milk. And I'm like, ooh, I've been doing whole milk. The lactate whole milk, which is weight. Highly recommend everyone.

Good condition for lactate. Okay. Listen, we had to deal with all the not girls for president. No, we had to deal with all the not girls for the past five years. Oh, I drink milk.

I drink pistachio. I drink almond. How about the next time I go to order a coffee at a coffee shop. Latte. Latte is an option.

All the other ones taste like shit. I said it. No tastes like shit. They're also all bad for you. They're high sugar.

They're horrible for you. All men milk tastes like actual ass. So I know they don't think is that great for you either. No. There's macadamia.

That's. That's a dessert. That's it's hopping on a dessert. Put it in a cookie. They won't let us have OG cow milk anymore because they're like,

You're a grown man and a whole milk. Stop putting protein on stuff.

I don't know why.

Here's what I'm not understanding about the whole protein epidemic.

I get it. That's our world is changing GLP ones. People want to build muscle totally.

“Why are you coming up with the most insane situations for protein?”

When you could literally eat one chicken caughtlet and there you go. Done. You're fine. You don't need to put it in your dessert. You don't need to put it in your ice cream.

Like I don't need it in my morning coffee. I'm protein vodka. I don't. protein vodka. Get strong.

It's too much. It's too much. So my mom drugged me this morning and I said, Oh, I don't know. Did you drink you drank it and then you were like,

Hey, what milk was that? No, I knew from the beginning. This is my problem. This is druggy. It's like smoking weed for me.

Every couple of years. You're like, let me try it. I forget. And I'm like, it's been awhile. Maybe my body's changed.

I can handle it. I can handle it. I'm not the girl I used to be. Yeah. And I said, I can think a lot better than my mom made with love.

Yeah. Because love in it.

It would never cause me harm.

My mom made it. So her argument is that I chugged it. That's why she thinks ice coffee? No. Just hot.

Okay. Because I was kind of hard to chug. I did it. Okay. Because I'm coming to go to the squad.

I got to be ready. Got to be on point. And I'm like, Oh, I have to go. I've diarrhea.

“My mom's like, it's not possible that that quickly.”

You're able to have diarrhea. And I was like, honestly, anything's possible in the world of the white song. So. That's a Mormon reference. Yeah.

Right? It doesn't know. So I shot myself like three times this morning. But I feel really late now. I was going to say you feel aired out.

I actually think I'd like to talk about that. I do talk because I I flew yesterday. So I feel like I was a little. Wow. A little backed up.

Wow. So you know what people don't talk about? I was feeling a little backed up. And I said, you know what? I have the perfect cure for this.

I'll get to pull that. I get to pull that. I get to pull that. I eat it. I'm like, I'm weighed in my clock.

I'm like, any minute, surely. This, nothing ever happened. So now I'm bound up. And now I'm bound up with Chipotle. And I'm like, oh, get his word.

Oh, I had your call. Hannah, what should I do? So I have a stomach ache for four days.

“Well, that's when you have to do a homogate.”

I can drink home milk. Oh, yeah, because we have slightly different genetics. Yeah, I don't. I mean, I really shouldn't because I do like get a stomach ache. And I feel bloated.

But I don't have to like run to the bathroom. To go full circle from the beginning of this conversation. I've one more thing about skincare. I want to bring to the forefront. Okay.

I also don't care. Like whatever people say. Like this will make you look like younger. Whatever. Um, pretty.

You've a list. Oh, no. No pores. Whatever people are trying to do. Glass skin.

If it smells weird. Hmm. I'm not doing any different. And I went out of facial list. Be like, you have to buy this.

I bought it. And I, it was some like crazy oxygen. Whatever thing. And it smelled. Was it the B.O.L.E.G. mask?

I don't know. I don't know. But it smelled like shit. Butter was like, what the fuck is this? My husband was like, who are you?

I'm in bed. I couldn't do it. I don't know. I put something on my skin. It smells bad.

I am jacked up. Because you know what's doing something. I'm like, where did they find this? You got different. It smells something.

So disgusting. I'm like, it must work so well that they were like, this is gold. We can't even change the smell of it because it'll change the composition. You're right. Of this.

It's always the most expensive best stuff that you put on.

You're like, I smell like molded foot. Yes. Yes. So if I'm putting it on and I'm walking out of the bathroom smelling. But it sucks because it's not like you're putting something like on your knee.

Like you can't stop smelling yourself. I'm smelling my upper lip and I'm like getting nauseous. But I also can't wear perfume. So that's maybe my own. No perfume is like too much going on.

I get overstimulated with perfume. I can't also be smelling something while I'm existing. Wait. I didn't know that you never wear perfume as the same way. Once we went to a mess game and a guy was wearing like crazy

alone and does it was like I have to leave because it was like so strong. I've never knew this is this is a sober couple going out. We're like the Columbus super easy. I'm getting high. I'm getting high.

Like you're responsible. Do you know that I have designated areas in my home of wear perfume goes so that in any given time. You can. I can spritz if I'm walking out of the house.

If I'm sometimes all spritz before a zoom. But you never are overwhelmingly type of way. Thank you. Like I had a coach who like I don't know if it was a child or something. But he would spray like crazy and we'd go to like do workouts.

And I would like be nauseous from his pillow.

And I've literally put a bunch of my friends on to it in the past couple of months. And this is like not an ad not sponsored. I smelled it. I actually thought it was a room spray at first. Chloe Kardashian's new son is so good.

I have never gotten more.

I know when a perfume is good because I have so many different ones. And there's like a couple that I know that when I wear. I'm going to have at least two people ask me. One is the Prada paradox. Another one is my Victoria Beckham in like a turquoise bottle.

And then my Chloe Kardashian one by far.

“The most people will like stop me and be like what?”

I love how you have a full control group when you walk outside. You're like counting how many people. Yeah, I'm doing stuff. But deep down my thing is like. You don't like someone because of their perfume.

You like them for them. And like I want people to fall in love with my firearms. And my natural side. Yeah, no. I've had full relationships with men when it was.

It was only based on how they smelled. Same. And then like you realize you don't like him. You like his clone. I do think the birth control thing is true.

Yeah. You smell people differently. Yeah. So anyway, just like keep an eye out for that in these streets.

“Do you like him or do you like his clone?”

Yeah. Cause men around here gas lighting perfume lighting you. Gas perfumeing you. Hot boxing you with their perfume. And this is even this is how this.

I like all men's clone. Also by the way, why are they clone? It's perfume. It's perfume. I think.

Oh, it's cool. Yeah. It's perfume. Even like I've ever smelled like gas station men's clone. You didn't even know what you were talking about.

You could have loved what?

You've never seen like colon in gas stations.

Cause that's the kind of guy that you've a wild night. You're like, look, don't tell anyone about this thing. I want you to flip and throw me around. Like you've never thrown me around before. I can't think of that.

That excellent perfume. There's a way to face the alien. Oh, man. Oh, man. You can get by, uh, off-brand by Agra at a gas station.

You don't think they're all so good as a little colon. Oh, man. Who doesn't have a job? Well, he needs a place to sleep at night. That's how that colon smells.

And you'll never have better sex.

And you'll never hear from him again.

Cause he doesn't have a phone. But gas station clone. It's called gas station clone. There's like one brand. I feel like I can picture it.

It's not. It's not coming up. No, but it's like. I think also smells and good. I have PTSD from acts.

Yeah. Also acts. It's like these guys get a personality. Stop just spraying acts and thinking. Girl's gonna throw themselves at you.

Even though it did work at the time. Um, guys. It doesn't work. I'm not stronger than the patriarchy. Okay.

I keep saying that I'm just one woman. I'm just one woman. Thank you guys for giga with us. It's time. Thank you guys for giga with us.

Thank you guys for giga with us. You're saying it. I mean, you had no notes.

“I think you came in with nothing to say.”

I don't know what you're talking about. I love you guys so much. Thanks for giga. We'll talk to you later. Bye.

We'll talk to you later. We'll talk to you later.