Giggling about tinned fish, tracking farts, and Tampa

Indy, start out.

In my mobile house for the controller,

now the water is built. Liquidität is the Fachgebiet. Or? Find lieber, the richting method.

“And sicher, the 75-year-old's got good news.”

On Indy.com/goodhaben, it's called the AGB. [MUSIC PLAYING] Such good news. I'm in the day just got away from me. Hello, my favorite group.

Hello, micro-garious, good glurs. I'm stressed, because page is coming to my apartment after this. And I've had-- I was going to say today. I've had a-- a year. OK.

And I think what's going to happen is you can't come in. I have to do some quick-- because I'm afraid you're going to get upset. It's going to ruin your day when you see this state.

Well, I left over the last night. When my parents are gone, I know when to go. But I lived alone for over 10 years. And this is not around. I'm like, Jimmy Neutron.

Like, I'm like, sleep over time.

I'm peeing in the shower. Like, I don't go fuck. And then I was like, oh, my god, page is coming. Is that something Jimmy Neutron did? There was a movie where all the parents

like disappeared. And the kids went crazy. And that's just how I live my life. Like, you don't have to put plates back into this thing if you don't want to.

Like, here's a perfect description of how you and I are different. Yesterday, my glam showed up to my apartment. And I had like a little plate of pastries. And Mitchell literally said, is that real life?

Or were you taking a picture of something? And I was like, honey, that's real life. Look at the pastry. Oh, my glam came in yesterday, but it's like what I was doing. I'm like, you might get bitten by something.

You're like, if you have a allergic reaction, we don't know what it's from, but you might have it. I mean, anything in here. Also, I woke up and like my back was kind of hurting. Like something on my back was hurting.

So I was like touching my spine. And a part of my spine was like, hot door. And I was like, did I break my spine? And then I realized, I just have a massive pimple, which Paige loves, like how happy she is.

She loves a pimple. I'm just starting my spine. I have to see it. I have to show you guys. But I thought I was paralyzed for it.

I was like, I'm going to be paralyzed. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one. Like my back is perfect.

Yeah, I could get in there. But like it hurts. Like, what's your strategy? How are we, like, you can't just go in.

“You have to like, well, I have to assess the area”

and see if there's even like a head that could be popped. I don't think there is.

I need to be too complex at first.

Yeah. I'm so scared. Are you looking surgery? They're going to like take a needle. Why have like all tools for it?

So you have to dig in. That is honestly, I think, one of like my highlights of ever like dating a man is like, when you get to the, when you get to the point where you're like, let me pop that pimple for you.

That's in like true love comes in. Like, I love, if you have that with me, you don't need a man. He had a boyfriend that had like shoulder acne. That's my fucking dream.

Well, you could go hard on the shoulder for some reason doesn't hurt as bad. Yeah. Oh, God. Any hell.

Any who are, are you? I'm good. (laughing) You were in Brooklyn this morning. I was in Brooklyn this morning.

Oh, this was what I wanted to say because now I'm like not in a coma from doing sagor, it's anymore. Because I was talking about how like, I didn't need my beta blockers as much

as I thought I was going to do. Going to need. Let me just set the scene for like in the morning. In the morning, any day like that that I'm going to be nervous

and I know I'm going to take a beta blocker. I can't drink any coffee because I'll just like, freak out. I had a hot water with lemon.

“And then the only thing I could consume was half a banana.”

Oh, your body shut down. No, my body was like, no, I can't take nothing in, nothing out. (laughing) And that's the opposite.

I'm like, put it all in and it's all coming out. Like my body is like, no, no, closed right now. You think you're going to have a simple syrup? Get out of here. Simple syrup is a risk on a diet out of my God.

So that's what I had before. Then I take my beta blocker. Then I do what I have to do. Oh, you took beta blocker in the morning. I took a beta blocker 30 minutes before I had to be out there.

Oh, okay, yeah. I do the whole thing. I go to the awards. I'm sitting at the award show. I'm probably sitting there for like a little over an hour.

Maybe like an hour and a half. I'm sitting there. It truly felt like someone came up behind me. Took a baseball bat and just like hit me in the head. Like I got an instant headache.

But I think it was my adrenaline, like starting to come down. I literally turned to my assistant.

Or I'm gonna like literally pass out at the table. We get in the car. We go back to the hotel at this point. It's like 730.

“We walk into my hotel room because she has to take.”

My jewelry was so fucking expensive. I actually can't believe they didn't send a person. Usually if it's over a certain amount of money, they'll send a human being that watches the jewelry. But they were like, have at it.

I was wearing someone, you lost your pink ear pink earring. And you were freaking out. And I was like, I can't deal with this right now. Oh, my God, I forgot I lost my pink earring. Your pink earring is so little that nothing would stay.

I had over $1.5 million of jewelry on me at SAC.

See, I would have said no. I would have been like, no thank you. I was just expecting like, oh, I'm gonna give it back immediately after this, they're gonna send a person, they didn't send a person. So we walk into my hotel room.

I, she unzips my dress because she's like also giving my dress back. I'm taking the jewelry off and I'm like, hold on a second, I'll be right back. I walk into the bathroom, projectile vomit. You love hometing.

That's like your, that's your go to. You're like, I come back out and I'm like, and now the day is over. (laughing) I have completed my task.

My body is also understanding that the day is over. - As your bow. (laughing) - You're purely into the bowl. And you wanted to know the worst part, I was like, wow.

- Today was a good day. So it was a good day anxiety wise. - I'm laughing 'cause I do the same thing, but through the other way. - Yeah.

- Which one? - When I explain that to you, you stop seeing me as gross and start seeing me as just like human. (laughing) - I started seeing you.

But I want people to understand, when you see all these celebrities like glitzed out, it's all lent.

It's all borrowed and like the second they get off the car.

- I don't know why I thought you were talking about like lent. Like actual lent. (laughing) - You're happy to hear about what happened with the jewels. - We gave them back.

- But like she had to hold them for a certain amount of time. - She just had to hold until the next morning, someone came and got them the next morning before we look out on our flight. - This reminds me last time we were in LA doing interviews.

I had a necklace that no one told me how much it was. Thank God, but I couldn't get it off. 'Cause you know when some of these glasses are like insane, like getting into Fort Knox. And I went to college, couldn't figure it out.

Also my nails were long. And I faced time my stylist at like 2.30 a.m. Thank God she doesn't sleep. - Yeah. - And I was like, I'm about to get on a plane at 6 a.m.

with this on my neck if we can't get this off. And she was like, that cannot happen. And I'm like, okay, well, there's like a picture of Jane Fonda where she went to an award show. And then there's a picture of her the next morning in our kitchen

in the same dress. And she's like, I couldn't get this up her off. (laughing) And like there's so many things in my life and I'm like, this happened also happened in Jane Fonda.

And I don't know why, but like I'm obsessed with Jane Fonda. So I can't, if you don't know about her, like, learn.

“- No, you should actually watch her documentary”

to really get it. - I did. - Oh, you did. - I have to rewatch. My, that's my thing with fashion though, like,

it's so uncomfortable and I, I've recently somehow ended up in a bunch of jumpsuits. (laughing) I don't know what I did in a past life.

First of all, they don't fit my long tours.

So my labia's literally fighting for its life. And then obviously you know I like to pee/poo. - Yeah. - Like I don't even know what's gonna happen, but I'm like, I need to be in the bathroom.

- And in this, you're like. - And my, everyone's like, you don't just take the dumps to rub. You have to like, take your microphone off, you have to, it's a whole thing. - Yeah.

- So anyway, this is not relatable, but I'm just saying, ever go relates to a dumpsuit in a situation. - It's relatable. - That I can't believe we didn't talk about, but honestly, I think I saw it after we had recorded last week.

- Did you freakin' see the Tampa Airport banning crocs and pizza pants? - Which isn't a funny bit? - I thought it was a banning me. - Who is like such a crocator?

- Yeah. - I was like, let the girls wear their choice. - You're like, just 'cause it's not for me. It doesn't mean I need a ban, other people's rights. - And that American, I literally take note.

- You don't approve of something, doesn't mean it's not right for other people. - Just because I don't want to do it, doesn't mean I'm gonna take it away from people. - Okay, first of all, I have so many thoughts on this.

This makes me now want to walk into the Tampa Airport with no flight, just wearing, but jam's, marry my deafness? - I might jump deaf and go to shoot. - In the Tampa Airport.

- That was my first thought, I was like, what great marketing. - With my crocs, and then I'm gonna throw gibbits all over the airport.

“- Here's the thing that I found offensive.”

The over arching message was please stop showing up I think like looking disheveled or like,

- But my thing is, from a legal standpoint,

“but also Florida just whatever the fuck they were,”

I feel like, from a legal standpoint, 'cause that we are lawyers, how are you differentiating what's a pajama pan and what's not? And also, it just felt very pointed at women - Yes, did it not, it came off?

- Yeah, it came off. - It came off like, girls, where a fucking power suit to the airport? - Now, I'm going to show up with a gown. - Not that I've ever been in this situation

where I've had to sit next to a man on a plane and I felt like he was wearing something weird, but there's definitely times where I've seen men at the airport and I'm like, well, those sweatpants are not appropriate.

Like, they're too tight. Like, did you put underwear on your fucking free? Like, so if we're not addressing the men's penises in their pants, don't tell me what kind of pant or shoe I can or cannot wear?

- Well, this is my issue. If I'm, if you invite me to your house and you say, "Han, I'd prefer you to not show up "in your pajamas and croaks, I can respect that "and say it's your house and it's your party."

- It's so interesting.

- I've never said that, that would also be insane.

- No, but also like, it's your house. - So there's a dress coat. - It's a private outfit. - It's a private outfit. - Oh, no.

“- And I want my friend to have a good event.”

- However, as someone who flies for lip-ing, I don't know where I'm landing, I don't know where I am. How are you think people like, oh, I'm flying to Tampa and I have to now prepare a dress coat for when I land in Tampa.

I don't know where I land and I'm always wearing something comfortable. - Incomfortable. - Like, I was in, when I'm on tour, am I about to be like, oh, shoot.

The Tampa airport, I have to change my outfit for the Tampa airport. - As someone owns a pajama brand, I feel very singled. - And also if you wear jeans to the airport,

like you don't travel a lot. - Yeah. - You're like, you're a mask. - Also, let's just say men's jeans are very different than women's jeans.

- Really?

- Men's jeans, I feel like, are soft.

A little bit softer 'cause they're not, it's not like, we're not here. - They're not here. - They're not here. - They're not hugging anything. - So I think that one men are in jeans

at the airport or even like a chino pan. It's very different, but I've definitely seen men in full sweat. Also, you see these mothers with like four children who are about to get on a flight at 6am.

She doesn't have to dress all her children. I want those kids in their comfortable pajamas, so she can just get them out of bed and put them on the plane. You're making mothers like dress children

and fucking what like, like, office wear? - Yeah. - That would be adorable. - That would be adorable. But I imagine you wear your baby on a plane,

she just had a headset on. - You definitely. She's working, guys, the mission. - I was like, sorry, I have to take this. - No, temp is gonna get sued.

That's crazy. - It was just, I just thought it was so crazy. - Also, who in the meeting was like, I have a really good idea. - Also, you're dealing with Florida.

Like, that's gonna backfire. All the cookie monster pajama girls from high school are gonna band together. Okay, they're gonna like, there's somewhere getting their nails done together.

And they're coming for you. - You know, it makes me uncomfortable when you go to an airport and men are wearing cowboy boots. Why are you in full drag at the airport?

- With a mini heel. - That's a heel. - That's a fucking heel. - And that high heel. - So then I'm there with you.

- You can't see anything, you're wearing your hat. Why are you in full? - You can't even see the gate numbers because your hat is so big. - Literally.

- Here's my question. - What were they doing with the crocks that they had to be banned? Like, were they taking them off and throwing them? Like, what?

They can go sport mode. - I can't see that there was ever a problem with people wearing crocks. - The one thing with crocks is 'cause they're rubber. Sometimes against the like flooring.

I would like squeak, but not really. I would like triple it all sometimes. - You're like our legit infield reporter. - Yeah, that's the one who's been on the ground. - Yeah.

- I'm trying it out. However, I am on those people in the morning. I don't want to wear like tie shoes in the morning. I want Velcro or slip it on. - No, we've seen it's what I love crocks.

- Yeah. - What if you're, I'm on a comedy tour. - Mm-hmm. - And I brought one comfy outfit and crocks to travel in. What are they going to say?

You can't do your show tonight 'cause you showed up in crocks? - Well, that's my question. How are you differentiating what's a pajama pan and what's like a sweat pan? - Yeah, what do you want to see?

- What do you want to see? - Telling people, they have to go back to where they came from. - Like, the only situation I could see is like, if someone tried to get on a flight

and they were dressed like extremely inappropriate and provocatively. Like, then may, okay. But I feel like there's even been stories where girls are like in leggings and people

have been like, you can't get on this flight or something.

“Honestly, you should be worried about the drunk men”

that get on these goddamn flights. A little bit more than what the girls are wearing. There's so many flights where I can't believe people have even been allowed to get on the plane. - I was with my mom flying from Toronto

and she looked at me and she was like, you know, people are drinking right now. And it was 9 a.m. and I was like,

and she goes, no, I think they're just like, they're just like, they're just like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they have been prawns being hammered. And this was a Monday.

You know, I didn't realize that until I was like well into my 20s that people get like hammered on flights. - Well, I had my experience when I was sitting with a woman who was black out on the flight. - Oh, right, right.

- Who I haven't reached out to. And every now and then I'm afraid she's gonna come out and be like, why haven't you texted me? - One time I was dating a guy and in my defense, I didn't know he was a drug addict

because he was like a good one. - We've all been there. - No, sometimes he'd do it subtly. - Yeah, I did, I had no idea. - Yeah, yeah, same.

- Until we got on a flight one time and while we're lost on the flight, I was like falling asleep. Like I'm coherent but my eyes are closed. Like if anyone's around, I'm asleep. And I heard him talking to the people next to us

and he was just lying, just lying about everything. And it was on that trip that I realized that he had not gone to bed from the night before and he was in fact a drug addict. And he would got so hammered on the flight.

I actually feel like security got involved there. - But I like stay to sit out. - I think I'm gonna do it. - Wait, that is so you to like, I'm like sitting arrested and you're just like,

I don't know what to say. - I should have marked up, say. - You wake up really weird, see? - What happened? So I was like, does anyone know this man?

I'm like, oh, let him fight for his help. - I do think traveling with your significant other is important. You learn a lot. - Yeah. - You learn a lot.

- I think it's really important.

I've never had like, well one time someone tried

to leave me in Paris.

“Honestly, I think that sounds like iconic though.”

Someone loved you in Paris. They could have left you in Atlantic City. - But, yeah, that's true. (laughing) - I have a quick PSA for the Gigglers.

I found the ultimate hack. Gatorade, lower sugar. No artificial flavors, sweeteners, or colors, and it has 75% less sugar. And although electrolytes of regular Gatorade,

it's the biggest life hack ever. - Yeah. - I'm a Gatorade girly. - You're making it my whole life. And somewhat argue, I don't always need more sugar

in my life, so this is perfect. And it's great for when you're sweaty. - Pitch of your sweat before? - Okay, I'm so glad we're bringing this to the forefront and I hope my mother is listening to this

because all growing up, my brother got to drink Gatorade all the time. And I'd be like, mom, can I have Gatorade? And she'd be like, you don't play sports. - And now, in my adult life,

I actually do play extreme sports because I've flown to Fiji, worn suede, sweat, so badly that I literally drop to the ground. - Also, I've been to one of your fittings. You try on 40 to 50 outfits in record time.

- That's an extreme sport. - That's an extreme sport.

- There's always Gatorade in my refrigerator

because you never know. I go on a brisk walk. I'm like, I need to, I need electrolytes. I need to hydrate. I need something more than water.

And I used to, you know, be running around the tennis court, but now I'm running my mouth, doing stand-up.

“And that's why I always have Gatorade lower sugar”

in my green room to prepare 'cause, this is sports podcast. We are athletes. - I won't sweat through my clothes. But like, it's happening.

Where you'll just like, you'll fall on sweat through. It's almost like a badge of honor. - Oh, yeah. And did you know that Gatorade lower sugar actually hydrates better than water?

And we know that 'cause we're women in STEM. And my favorite flavor, this is the lemonade. If you know anything about me, one of my favorite phrases is, let's get a lemonade. Like in the summer, I'm like,

what if we got like an icy lemonade?

And so I always grab a lemonade flavor.

- I think that a classic flavor, when you think about Gatorade, what do you think of Gatorade fruit punch? Nothing hits the tongue quite like it. And you immediately think of like,

that recess with your friends, having the best time. - Some people say the colors and some people say the flavors. And that's just like a Gatorade thing, you know? - In the comments, which girl are you?

“Do you call Gatorade by the color or the real name?”

Or it's government name. - I bet the big girls are very split because I'm a color, girly, and I feel like you're a government name 'cause I don't mess around when it comes to my Gatorade.

- Like you put their first and last name in your contacts. - I also love rain, Barry, and I got the big lemonade. - It's really good. - So I'm about to have a hydrating day with lower sugar.

- Whether you're sweating through a workout set or your Daphne pajamas, you're an athlete, act accordingly and rehydrate with Gatorade lower sugar. It's giving 75% less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade.

You'll be looking and feeling like your best, most hydrated self. - Guys are wearing ballet flats now. - Well Harry Styles and some other guys who are more fashion-forward,

- Did you see Rosalia got asked a question on what's her favorite thing about men and she said that they're gay? Rosalie is a good girl. - That's my president.

(laughs) - Sorry. - That's my religion. - That was so real. - I love Rosalie.

You know, she's my style icon. - What brand? I want to know who's responsible for this. And when you say ballet flat, like, like, is it have a very style is wearing like a bell bottom

with a ballet flat? - It's like a tabby? - Yeah. - Not a tabby, which by the way, I need to get in on those things.

- Yeah, I can believe you have it. - It just hasn't. I don't, I feel like, because I'm scared. - It's so weird. - 'Cause I also don't understand a tabby

for you guys, don't know. It's when you look like a hoof. - Yeah.

“- Do you have to get a special sock for that?”

The admin is actually so soon. - I don't know.

- I've never looked into a tabby.

- Hi. - My assistant wears them all the time. - Yeah. - But that's her style, that's her vibe. Like, they do look cute, but I just like,

in the back of my head, I have my mom being like, just because it's expensive, doesn't mean it looks good. - Oh, that's why I haven't done it, 'cause I think they're expensive. - But they're expensive.

- I'm not paying more for less of a shoe. You cut the shoe in half. - Yeah, like, on the top. - I'm really upset about the men wearing ballet flat, so. - Can we have anything?

- We can't have a single thing. We can't even go on hot girl walks anymore. They, like, wanna go on walks. - Men are going on walks. - Yeah, they're going on walks.

- Yeah, they're going on walks. - Yeah, yeah. - We're now. - They already taken us down. - They already had no no no.

- That's what golf is. Just men walking in, like, hitting bad shots, and then telling each other is a good enough shot. - Now, they're, like, walking around and talking. The last thing we need is them talking to each other.

- Chris, are you guys talking? - Have any other friends ask you to go on a walk? - No, I go on a walk sometimes. - Oh, that's right. - Yeah, that's scary.

- No, but I think that's better than them getting together and walking. - True, but I also don't, like, when a guy's alone, I'm like, where are you going? - It's like, "What are you planning?"

(laughing) - Okay, what do you up to? - Yeah, I don't, like, when they get together like that. - When there's two, I don't mind, 'cause I feel like they're obsessed with each other

like they're gay. - Yeah, they offset each other. - But when there's three. - Three or more, you gotta promise. - You gotta promise.

- 'Cause one of them is doing something. - Me or something, illegal is happening. - Also, I talk about this in my standup, but do you know, like, in your college and in your 20s, when you'd go over to a guy's apartment,

why are there always 17 dudes playing FIFA?

“- And that's the worst, I think it's them being nervous.”

It's them needing emotional support without ever saying, like, "Hey, I need, like, I'm nervous like this girl's coming over." It's more like, and then in front of this girl come over. - He's also performing for it, like, "Look how much this girl loves me."

- I'm about to dick down this girl, but then I'm like, this isn't a fucking performance. It's like, I came here to, I don't even know what to do. Like, I don't even know why I'm here. And suddenly I'm having to, like, walk into your bedroom

and do a fucking walk of shame before I even did anything. Also, I'm giving you a bad hand job. Like, this isn't gonna be a thing. - Can I just say, because, like, I'm no better than a man, I thrived in those situations.

- What would you do? - I loved them. They were, like, my, that was, like, my college experience. 'Cause I was, like, guess what? Also, I'm funny that you didn't see that one coming.

- Yeah, yeah. I just, it was, like, tell me who I was gonna be there before I show up. Also, 'cause in your head, you're, like, this is gonna be so romantic.

Like, he's gonna be waiting for me with candles. - Yeah. - And a glass of wine. And then you walk in, it's just eight guys being like, "Are you Sarah?"

And you're like, "No, that's not my name." That's not my name. And then I'm like, "Oh, yeah, you, like, I know what, I know that guy I've seen in Facebook, you're fucking a rat, I don't like you."

Do you have any guy college friends? Like, now, on your 30s? - Well, my college experience, 'cause it was a Wisconsin, like, everyone lives in Chicago or they were, like, foreign on the tennis teams,

but I keep in touch with a lot of them, like, virtually. - I couldn't name one of them. - Maybe I could name one of them. - We really close with the tennis guys. (laughing)

- I've never formed a real friendship with a man.

Like, I, (laughing) That's actually on true. I have friendships with, I would say, I have friendships with, like, two men that I really have a legitimate friendship with,

but I'm not even talking to that. And if anything, I'm now, I'm talking to their wives. - Yes, yes, yes. - You know, like, I'm not. - I do have to say, I thrive with the audience too.

Now, they're looking back.

“I think girls, when you walk in and you see those men”

and you get scared, 'cause you're, like, what are they planning? Am I gonna be kidnapped right now? Instead, you take control. This isn't a time for them to diminish you or whatever.

- Well, they're actually way more nervous. - They're so nervous, it's why they need to be together. - I love them. - I remember. - It's kind of like a spider.

Like, it's scared of you. You're not scared of it. - I remember when I started become powerful, 'cause the male athletes were scary

Like, they were literally celebrities. Like, when they're walking to school, like, everyone's like, there's the quarterback, whatever. And the women's teams were training with the men's teams.

“And I remember, I had, I got hit by a car.”

(laughing) I don't rest. And I, (laughing) - And is the epitome of giga-ly squad? - You're telling a story, but, like,

you add in the most traumatic thing you've ever heard. - Actually, get back to that. - But, there was a lot of times where you'd have to just walk in front of, like, the entire football team were the entire hockey team.

- When you got hit by a card, did you fall to the ground? - I was stuck in the air, landed on my bag with the backpack, I probably saved my life. And I was just, like, lying there.

And then stayed there, 'cause it was quite nice

to just lie there for a second.

- Oh, you think it's funny. He was funny. He almost lost me. You told me I wouldn't have been a thing. - In my head, I'm picturing it, like, grazing.

- You mean, you mean, like, oh, it was, like, a day. (laughing) - That's terrifying. - Yeah. So, anyway, back to me, I, no, I did.

There's a thing called box jumps, where you had a jump. - Yeah. - No, I know where to do a box. - And the whole menthockey team was, like, on bikes. - Okay. - And I was, like, for whatever reason alone.

- Scared, doing box jumps. - Box jumps. - And I jumped, and just, like, Brandon, didn't you? - I didn't hear, just jumping on my box, say.

- Just, let me jump on my box. - I jumped, and, like, I'm trying to show off. - And, of course, like, I hit my shin and started bleeding, I fell, it was like, a whole thing. - But this is what--

- How hard were these boxes? - Oh, my god, they're, like, hard boxes. - Yeah, I know. - And then, there was this one time where, like, I started dating this football guy,

and I was walking through the gym. And, like, four of his friends were there. And I guess I was, like, they knew I started seeing him. They were, like, hand up, but they didn't know I was crying because I just found out about a family member who was sick.

So I had to be like, "Hey, how many parts of this story?" (laughing) - But then, this was my, like, this was my moment

“where I think it shaped who I am as a person”

and why I love comedy now. - Wow. - And making fun of men. - Really getting to the crux of it and your entire personality.

You never have to be embarrassed in front of men.

You were in control. I'd been hit by a car, I was named. I was down for the count. And I think in this football guy, we're like, now not talking that much.

They put you in this little pool as rehab where you run on a treadmill that's in a pool. - So that's it? - They should get that for kitty. - So you're, so your weight is, like,

lifted to put so much weight on it. So I'm at this little pool. In my, I guess I'm wearing shorts and a sports bra. And this is intimate and I'm also like, probably crying and all the football guys

were lined up on bikes, like, - Watching you. - Watching me do this. So it's like so annoying. And one of them is like my fucking

ex-situationship and I'm like cool amazing. So I get out and I'm just like soaking wet. - Yeah, you're like, hi, this is me. - Barely wearing any clothes. - Yeah.

- Like, I was probably swollen from crying. And I'm walking by and he decides to say something. Like, like, something like looking good or something like that. And I just look at him and I say, don't be a creep.

“And everyone starts dying laughing and I remember”

like feeling so powerful and being as long as I'm funnier

than them, they could never get to me.

Like, you tried to make me feel awkward and for now all you guys, you be fucking awkward. - I didn't even give me a compliment. - I don't care. (laughing)

- I don't care. - Yeah. - No, but also don't, don't fucking. - No, dare. - Don't, don't fucking sexualize me.

- I'm a female, have you tried to recover from a car accident? And you're trying to in front of your boy show off that you're like, yeah, nice ass. - Yeah.

- No, you're a fucking creep, you're losers and I don't want your affection. - Or attention. - Or attention. - Fuck you, and the Tampa airport.

- Yeah, literally, fuck the Tampa airport, which I think I have to fly in soon. - What if they're my face is just like, they just take me to the second. - Yeah, they're like, they're immediately banned.

Like, oh, she's been promoting Crocs. (laughing) - Never did I think ever that I would be single-handedly standing up for the Croc community.

I was like, hey, I may not agree with them, but they have the right to express themselves the way they see bad. - Just take their different, doesn't mean they're bad. - It's wrong.

- Exactly. Just because they're different and I don't like it, doesn't mean they need to change. - Yeah. - And that.

- Excepting of all people, - Yeah. - Whether or not they were Crocs, 100%. And that's the policy we stand on. (upbeat music)

- Anyway, have you been eating tin fish? (laughing)

(laughing)

“- I'm so begging you to have your brought up this tin fish.”

- Oh my god, tell. - I haven't eaten it,

but their packaging is adorable.

- Well, you're thinking of fish wife. - Very cute. - Their marketing is so cute. But what is it guys, everyone obsessed with that? What kind of fish is that?

- All kind? - Good question. But apparently this could be completely wrong, but like in Portugal and in Italy and Spain, they have these cans of smoked fish

that they like sardines. And they also have like octopus. They've all kinds of fish. So my brother calls me. And my brother's like, I'm obsessed with tin fish.

And I'm like, tell me why. - Sounds like a great like band name or like really cool men's brand. - Yeah, I've got it, like, from this. - Yeah, it sounds like a rapper.

- Yeah. - DJ, DJ, tin fish. - Yeah, tin fish and tiffish and tiffish and diffish and diffish. (laughing) - Tiffish, remix.

- We did a DJ. - By the way, I miss when they used to yell the producer in the beginning of the song. - Yeah, well, I'm not giving him credit anymore. - Yeah, what happened to DJ mustard?

I've been wondering for years, what happened to mustard? And DJ, let's take it easy. - Yeah, yeah, I want to know who's producing it. It was like the Walt Disney.

It would be like in the beginning. - Yeah, yeah. - In the production company now. - Let us know, give credit, credit, credit, is too. Also, do you remember when every pop star

“you should just have a random rapper for 30 seconds”

at the end of the song? - I don't know why immediately popping into my head is Paul Wall. - Paul. (laughing)

- What is Paul Kogan's daughter, Brooklyn? - That song is so good. - See, he didn't say nothing. - What happened to Paul Wall? I really thought he's around.

- He's around. - But not in the rap capacity. - Well, he's not saying the opera. - Right, but like he had two major, two or three major songs. And then one day he was just like, Adios.

And we never saw him get, like you didn't know.

- He's with Jack Horlow somewhere. - That, like the last time you listened to one of his songs was really gonna be the last time you ever saw him. - Yeah, and I hate to get emotional, but. - But also, I hate, we haven't looked it up.

He's probably been like making a lot of music. And it just hasn't crossed our desks. - Chris, do you mean a favor and look up? - Chris, are you texting during the plot? - Well, Paul Wall's big bibliography.

What's he doing? - What's he up to? - I got you. (laughing) - I'm Googlein' exactly that.

Not a lot to work with here.

“- I feel like he almost might have gotten out”

of the industry because something happened to it. - Or maybe he just did well, I'm just like, I've said what I need to say. (laughing) - I've made all the rhymes like making it.

- He's performing this weekend. - We're at. - I'm still proud of him. - I think it is from Houston. - Wait, I'm so proud of him.

- He's performing at the state fair West Virginia. - He's at the state fair West Virginia. - Okay, please. - We've got to custom jewelry business, too. - He's a custom jewelry business for girls.

- I really didn't see him as the state fairer circuit. - He goes, he does bracelets now. (laughing) - Anyway, so tin fish. - Oh yeah.

- What's great about it? And I don't work for tin fish, but my brother told me that the minerals and vitamins are incredible.

And my mom, who was a dietitian, always told me

at the end of the day, it's best to actually eat your minerals and vitamins. Like, rather than like taking a vitamin. - Taking a vitamin, just fucking eat a vegetable. - Eat a whole crew.

- Yeah, so these fish have incredible vitamins and minerals and the oils with it are really, really healthy for you for your skin. - You're just opening it, taking it, eating it. - Or putting it on.

- Great question. So you could put it as part of a sharkutary plate. You could, it's a great healthy lunch to just like open one up. They have salmon, all this stuff.

They have ones that are really spicy. - Wait, kitty with love this. - Kitty, oh my god, tin fish for the cats. - We need it tin fish collab. - We need to do tin fish for cats.

Wait, kitty with, and it, like, really cute. - That's just decorated. - Yeah, it's true. - I think they've invented it. - They've invented it.

- And it's cat food. (laughter) - They're like, don't put that in the pot because let's rumenate on that one. And it's literally just fancy feast food.

- Food. - It's like, yep, nope. The scientists have crumbed. - The fellow fancier feast. - The fancier.

- The fancier feast. - But you also can put it in a stew. You could put it in a pasta. I can't have it. I don't want to ever put it in a pasta.

- So this is the thing my brother's been obsessed with it and trying it because-- - Which is favorite fish. - He's been trying everything. - He's been trying all the tin.

- But, Lois, my daughter, hates the smell of it. So she keeps going, "Pew, daddy, it smells."

but Daniel is like--

“- I would hate it too, I think, if I were Lois.”

- It's really, it can be really strong smelling. - Do you have to ever fridge or eat it? - I think if there's no apocalypse, all the tin fish grillies are going to survive. - Or, I was going to say, is it like tuna,

where it's like, you can keep it in the kitchen. - Yeah, you don't have to put it in the fridge. Also, I should triple-check that before I like, give all the girls-- - Oh, my God.

- Everyone's like, "I listen to get this one." - And I got a call from an octopus. - So double-check that, but I do think if you are into sushi or you're into like, fish. You're like, "Are you going to try it?"

'Cause I don't know if I'm gonna. - So I went to this restaurant, I think it's called, 10 fish. - In LA, it's called like fish wife or something. I've talked about it before in the pot,

and you can get this whole like, tin fish for sure, a cutery spread, and you could put it on bread. So if you want to explore new palettes, you can try it out.

- Is your mom eat it? - You will do anything my mom does. - Well, I just, like, I look up to you. - She's very, she's very fit and healthy. - Yeah, she's so healthy.

- I have to double-check. - Oh, that's good. - I don't want to speak for her. - Yeah. - And her ways. - Please don't speak on her name.

- This also could be totally made up 'cause it's from the internet, and I actually can't trust anything I'm seeing on the internet. Like, it's becoming really chaotic. - No, I'm a 65 year old woman.

I'm like, "Is that AI?" - Well, now things that aren't AI, I'm like, that's AI, and people like, "No, that's the world right now." And I'm like, "That has to be AI." Apparently they aren't the invented and underwear.

That's like a fart tracker for people to see, like, how your body is processing foods and stuff. For people to be like, "Do you have IBS, whatever?" This, again, could be totally false, but we have no funding for women's health.

You hit men and paws, and they literally say, "Why don't you just kill yourself?" But yet, they're tracking farts. - No, we've truly lost it as it did. - It's definitely just newsmen for the study.

How many farts do you think the average person is farting based on this study? - In a day, in a 24 hour period. - And they said it's higher than any previous reports that people told, like, people said,

"Oh, I fart this amount. What's the actual amount?" - Okay, I would say that people are farting five times a day. - 32. - I am not farting 32 times a day.

And the second I saw that number, if that's true,

I was, like, pages holding in 32 parts a day. - More. I'm probably holding in weeks, but-- (laughing) - I'm, I, I, I'm, I definitely fart 32 times a day.

- 32. - Not like big ones, but I feel like every now and then there's just a little air comes out. - You're farting once and out, like, more than once an hour.

“- I think there's some hours that are particularly hotter”

than other hours. (laughing) - Like, I have some quiet hours, but then I have some a courier. - You see, we do just quiet hours here.

- Some firework hours, and then, should be quiet. I mean, also then, when you're sleeping. - Okay, I know what I'm saying is it underware that you're wearing and it's tracking it. - It's tracking it.

- That seems like radiation. - They sometimes-- - Like the nitrogen, hydrogen. - I feel like I can get a UTI. - Oh, for a short.

- Something is not-- - Are you wearing cotton underwear for UTIs? - Yeah, yeah.

- I've never known that I got message.

- No, I still UTI free. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - Us weekly. - Where's Daryl?

- Where are you guys? - Where are you? - You embarrass a woman. And then when she solves the problem, you still make it seem like everyone she's out to die.

- They're on to the next thing. - They're on to the next thing. - No, I don't want to jinx it, but yeah, I shouldn't have done it. - I should have done it.

- The problem with press is they love a good headline. But then they don't check if it's true and then they don't give it up to date when things have evolved.

“So people just remember the horrible thing”

and they're never like, but yeah. - She's taken care of her health and she's in a better place now. - Thank you for taking it stand. - What do you up to this weekend?

- Oh my God, we never ask each other that question.

That was so weird. - What is a weekend when you're over 31? - You can say 30, you could say 32. - 30, you can still dabble. - But you can say 32, you're 32.

- I'm 33. - Well, if you're 34. - What did I make? (laughing) - Oh my goodness, it says her age.

I love being 33 though. - What am I doing this weekend? Literally nothing. - Oh, I'm an Indian Wells. - Oh yeah.

- I wish you could come. You would have fun for like two hours. - What is Indian Wells? - So it's, you know, there's the grand slams. There's four grand slams.

- For what? - For 10s. - Oh, you're like, what's your name? - What planet are we on? - Sometimes you're talking about March, Madness.

There's just so many things. - There's a lot of sports. - You're very overwhelmed.

in the last couple months.

“- Did you see Tom Brady called Logan Paul a bit?”

(laughing) - The men are fine. - The men are fine. - The men are fine. - I don't know.

- But giving real hard. - No, it's literally giving real housewives. - Calling a man a bitch is really funny. - Let's call him a man bitches. - Oh, I do, I think I hit my shoulder.

(laughing) - I'm a victim. - We call him a man bitches. - I love that.

I never call him a man bitches.

- Do you want to know one of, 'cause it's also kind of calling them like a mean girl, calling a guy a bitch, which is so funny. - One of my favorite insults to one of my boy friends because it would really be as well,

was I would call him one of his friends names because he'd like Loki would be with this friend. - He'd be like that friend was right. - No, and I would just be like, "Okay, you know who you're acting like?"

- Oh, my god. - And so we'd get into a van, I'd be like, "Oh, yeah, okay, and then like say the name." And he was like, "That's not what I'm acting like." And I'm like, "Seems like you are."

And then like, say his name again. - Once you know a man's triggers, you have to get me shit with it. - Oh, yeah, you can't generalize that. - Every guy is a new opportunity of finding--

- If I didn't nickel for every time I called the guy a loser, I'd be like, "Oh, God." - You love that one. - I love that one. - That just comes out with a really upset,

they really don't like being called losers. - No, when I first heard you, to call a guy that, I was like, "Oh, I got it." - I was like, "I say it deep." - Like, I could say the loser.

- You make the word 15 minutes. - You get your loser. - Your loser. - "Lusar." - Yeah.

- "Lusar." - That's like me saying, "Shut the fuck up." - Yeah. - All the girls should not be going Instagram. Going TikTok and be like, "Practice calling a guy a loser."

“- You know who I actually got calling a guy a loser from?”

- Ooh, let's give credit, we're credit to do. - Bernie Kardashian. - She called Scott Alusar. - Years and years and years ago, like literally like the first couple of seasons.

This could have even been like the first like, take my Emmy season. I distinctly remember her calling him Alusar and him getting like really upset by it. But to give credit where credit is due,

'cause I guess that's the theme of this episode.

- He was an amazing reality TV cast member for that show.

Like, obviously that show would have still been on, but there were a couple of seasons where like, that was Scott Show. - He was the perfect in-between to kind of be like the voice of like whatever one was thinking.

Do you think him and Courtney would have stayed together if they weren't on the reality show? - No, because I think ultimately Courtney, no, I think ultimately Scott had too much of like an addiction. - True.

- To like going out and drinking and that like, you can get just so beaten down with that just so much until one day you're like, you've actually exhausted me to the point of like, I can't even be around you. I'm so tired.

- Indie, start out reden. - In my naga-state, make the cock-die-boot-hales-ong. Hmm, fine, Salat. (laughs)

- Fundeeber, the richting mid-arbeiten, and sicher, the 75-year-old Rostad Gutenhaben. - On Indie.com/ Gutenhaben. - It's Gelten, the AGB. - Are you gonna bring the Bob back?

- No. - 'Cause I just keep getting all these notifications being like the Italian Bob is in, the French Bob is in. - Who's Bobbing around? - Your assistant.

- Oh yeah, my assistant has Bob. Taylor has a Bob. - I've Bobbed for so long.

- You just feel like, well, you would never go back

to that exact Bob? - I mean, in my lifetime again, well, I have a Bob totally. - Wait, do you know people try to say that like, I hate you because I was telling you

I hate your head and I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - Sorry for having a vision. - No, I'm not. - Me making other accounts and commenting.

- I mean, clearly, and I'm like, - It's not a hard thing for a bitch. - No, but that was me. - If I had your facial structure, I would enjoy having short hair,

but I can't pull it off. - You believe in me so much. - You're so I see so much for you. - When you think I am like, truly one of the most gorgeous people

ever on the planet, like any outfit you're like, "Page, go where that." Like, I literally am your real life like Barbie doll that sometimes you play with when you're into like, - Hey, she's like, "I'm burnin' stuff."

- And then other times you're like, - What if I just, you know, what if I just rip your whole head off? - Oh, you got mad at me recently 'cause I love sending page vintage clothes to buy,

and every now and then you don't respond, or you'll respond, okay, cute, which makes my day, and then sometimes you'll get angry and be like, "Why would you ever send me this?"

“- 'Cause sometimes I think you're fucking with me.”

- No, you're like, "You couldn't have looked down on your phone, saw this article of clothing, and thought cute." - Because if you did, you need your eyes checked. - You can pull off a lot of things. - And you also can set a trend, like even you wearing

are people doing that, wearing emerald jewelry.

- Like, green jewelry.

“I don't know, but like, green, I didn't like invent.”

- I don't, but I can see girls wearing green jewelry. I mean, like, oh, it looks wriggle. - Yeah. - So, anyway, I just, I'm still sending you stuff. Like, are you okay, then I send you stuff?

- Yeah, no, I like it because you wanna know what? When you send me stuff of things I should buy in my head, I go, oh, she's relaxing, good. She needs to relax right out, she's just like online shopping.

So it's like, I know that's my favorite thing to do. Relaxation. - Shopping online and not buying anything and then sending it to your friends to see if they'd like it. - Yeah.

- Is a form of therapy. - It's like sending memes, but like less mind-ware. - Yeah. - And like, sometimes I have to stay true to myself and be like, "It's all my goddamn dreams.

- I ain't true, you don't want to talk with them."

- If I fuck up your average, you just start kidding. - It's like getting ads for like horrible clothes. I mean, this is Hannah. Hannah literally did this man on girl though. - But also, I, all of my friends have different love languages

and like, I feel like me sending you a light pink Chanel ballet flat is a form of love. Like if I could just get used to it. - You can get you.

“- And if you bought something, because I sent it to you,”

then like we could like have, you have, I mean, but I've sent you a lot. - Yeah, in the ratio of things sent to bought, not great. - How's what I have bought? - Pages are different size than me.

So when I'm vintage shopping, I'll be like, that's really cute. Oh no, it's not my size. It's pages size though, which she like it. And I love feeling like I found something for you.

- Well, because also you don't like to splurge. - No, wait, that's my middle name. - Yeah, I'm like, if I'm not gonna enjoy it, someone else should. - Yeah.

- But that's like you with food. If you're like, I'm not gonna finish this Hannah show. - That's exact, that is exactly it. - You go, I've had enough. - Yeah, this is too much for me,

but Hannah will actually treat this. I was supposed to be treated. Also, our silhouettes are so different. - I can't buy, if it says mini dress, I can't buy it, 'cause my butt will be out.

And then I'm the one who's inappropriate gonna kick off a plane. - Right. (laughing) - Me at all, we can see your butt crack.

And this is like, it's the right size for me, but 'cause I have a big butt, it doesn't. Some of these dresses aren't like, when you put it on a short for you, imagine if you had your butt pat on.

(laughing) - Yeah, and I love something mini. Like, if one endowed, I'm shortening.

- Yes, I've never shortened anything in my life.

“- Honestly, the only thing my tailor ever does”

is just shortened things for me. Like, make it more mini. Well, 'cause I love any high boot. - I'll try on clothes, and they'll be like, your midriff showing.

First of all, don't say midriff to me. Like, just say my belly button's out, but it's not my fault, it's 'cause of my torso. And then they're like, "Can you not show your stomach?" And I'm like, "Can you get me a full shirt?"

- Now, if Tampa came out and said, "No midriff?" - No midriff. - I'm like, "What are we in fucking public school gym?" - I'd actually be more understanding than no pajama pants.

- But because that's an area of your body that, yeah, you wouldn't show your midriff. - I don't wanna be in this professional setting. - But what if I accidentally go to grab a magazine and my midriff come down? - I thought we were fighting

but the midriff rule that isn't made in the Tampa airport. I'm like, "Well, what if my midriff?" - No, we're literally being Karen's on TikToks. We're like, "Oh, really?"

You said, "That's what I'm about. Have you ever thought of this?" - Take, okay, well, I wasn't talking to you. - I don't wanna see a man's butt crack. Why don't there rules about that?

'Cause I've seen, I've seen more male butt cracks than any person should have. - If you really, yeah, I really feel like if you really want to see the state of where the country is at you just have to take a flight from Florida to New York.

- I thought you're gonna say you just have to look at a man's butt crack. - No, because I, there's just no men anymore on the planes, like the amount of times I've taken my bag off the overhead bin.

I mean, it's insane. But they can wear pajama pants. They're already not doing anything. Why do they also need to be comfy? - Also pajama pants.

It's lounge ready to wear. - Like, okay, just like, I'm really legally, I'm wondering how they even got the OK to put out that. - Should we take them into small claims? - Squirt, like, we don't have anything else to do.

- I don't wanna go to court and Florida. - I'm really Florida. - Florida's like, did you do it? (laughing) - Okay, I don't know.

It just feels weird down there. - When you're getting your hair washed, - Mm-hm. - at a salon. - salon.

- Do you keep your eyes open or closed? - Depends who's washing it. - Oh, like if you don't trust them. - No, like if I know them and we're talking, like I'm gonna keep my eyes open.

But like, if it's like new girl and she's really getting in there

- I feel like even if I'm talking, I'm closing my eyes. - Do you wanna know something though? I haven't been to a salon in years

“because Mitchell's just like does my hair”

literally in my living room now. So like, I don't get, oh. - So long, I don't get a normal place, I don't get. - Going to a salon, you first of all you show up. - And they make you look like a wet rat.

- You look like a wet rat. - You look like a wet rat. - Add a salon. - Oh, well 'cause you're so vulnerable like you're an open wound.

You've never looked ugly or in that mirror

'cause you look like a wet rat. - And the only place to look is at yourself. - Yeah, and then they're doing crazy stuff with the clips do you hair. And then they're like, do you want to take a photo

and you're like, no, like I've never looked for. - Yeah. - And then a lot of the time the haircut happens and you're just like, and this is, I want to hate myself in like three weeks.

Thank you, I'm gonna, thank you, I'm gonna pay you now. - Yeah, I haven't gone in satin a salon in a while, but you know what I used to do. This is like so girly of me and I wonder if you ever did this.

When my mom, when I was younger and my mom had to go get her hair done, I would be like hyped. Like, fuck yeah. We're gonna be there for like four hours. I'm gonna look at all these magazines

and all these pictures. She's absolutely gonna get me a goddamn snack.

Then I'm gonna snack on that

and then I'm gonna walk around the salon. Like, I loved salon days. - Pidge? - That's the most insane story of me visiting my mom at the salon.

- And literally probably getting kicked out. - So my nana, okay, I'm saving my nana. My nana was going to this guy since like the 70s or 80s. So then in his name's Lance. - Of course.

- In Tribeca. - Else would his name be. - In Tribeca, so then it was like a thing, like my mom now goes to Lance. And she was like, Hannah, I'm gonna bring you to Lance.

And it was like this like big deal. And I wasn't getting my hair done. - Cut you, it's Lance fast. (laughing) - It's right before it ends.

- But I walk in and like it's the most gorgeous, cool salon.

“And I think it's so cool 'cause my nana goes here”

and everyone knows, so she's the local celebrity. - Yeah, your nana's granddaughter. I must have been, I was young. It'd be hilarious if I was 17. But I was like seven or six or five, I don't know.

- Lance, all I remember is apparently I just started rolling around, like I was like running around, rolling around and I got hair all over me. - And then I started to have a place in that room. - I started freaking out 'cause I got so itchy

'cause I was rolling around like my first, and my mom was like, I'm so sorry, she's really bad ADHD. And then I was like, mom, we have to leave. And then they were like trying to like,

wait, I mean, I caused a stir. - I can't imagine. - I have literally, and this is one of the reasons I wish that I knew you when I was little because I would see girls like you like out in the wild

or like doing something.

And I would always remember like looking at my mom like,

are you gonna load this girl? Like, and I never did anything like outlanded. - Why did I think it would be fun to like, literally be a room bath before this one. And then I was such a horrible experience

and I was like, I don't ever wanna go back to this salon. That was so scary, I almost died. - I would sit, I would come on me at one point. - I'm sure.

Like my mom would be like under the thing and I would just sit right next to her and like watch her. - I think my mom was like, stay here and read a magazine. And after two minutes, I was like,

I'm fucking like, doing popcorn. - You can't lay out, yeah. - Also, that's where my demons find me. This is like, and I'm still under the sun. - Because I feel like over the summer,

like we were like, oh, we're gonna lay out and then like, you're down for like literally two seconds. You're like, and also like, you're not, you can't, like, I could lay out four hours. - I love a walk, that's my prime.

'Cause it's not too much exertion of energy, but I'm also not still where like, everything from my past comes to the limelight. - Same for the prime. I'm like a rotisserie chicken.

I'm like, and we're switching, and we're shifting. We're turning.

“You could, like, what's the longest you could lay out for?”

- Oh my God. When I was in high school and like, it was like the summer and no one had any responsibilities, except like being in high school, I would get out there at like 10 a.m.

and then I'm not coming back into like four. - I'm tracking the UV. - Yeah, no, I was like, that was my job. - That was my job. - Apparently there's a new thing out.

It's like a sticker. I don't know if this will be like good or bad, but you put the sticker on and when the sticker evaporates, it means you have to reapply.

- Wow. - Based on the UV. - Women in STEM, for sure. - I do take sunscreen seriously though. - After the fact.

(laughs) - They're like, it's cold too late. - Wasn't the perfect shade? - I'm really taking it serious though. - When did I step my base?

- I'm all about the SPF, absolutely.

Stop texting people. - What do you do? Where are you tomorrow? Are you a New York?

What are you doing tomorrow?

- Are you? - I ask one time. (laughs) - No, but it's like, am I gonna be held hostage?

- It's just me too.

“If I'm available before you even said what you want me for.”

- Are you, are you subpoenaing me for something? - Also, how do I spell subpoena? - You and I are really on this word subpoena. And then I every other text were like, imagine if our text ever got subpoenaed.

- I tried to spell subpoenaed. - I can't imagine. - Literally impossible. - So Pina's like, someone is fucking with everyone.

- Because I always think,

I keep thinking about like the Blake library, like, all thing. It's like, okay, there's so many stray friends that are like, are you fucking kidding? Like, I feel like I would be the adjacent friend

that like I then became the story 'cause it's like her text was so unhinged. Like now we don't even care about this one too. It's more about page service. Unhinged in same text messages.

Like, I really, I say all the time. I'm like, if you ever get subpoenaed, please delete my number. - Every now and then, they'd probably be like, that was funny.

“- Oh, the girls were gonna get fed and where's the lie?”

So where is the goddamn lie? - Every now and then also, I still love a funny gift. - I love every voice note, too. - I love a good gift, a good voice note.

- Oh, I still think we feel really safe. - page goes, yesterday she goes, can I say something crazy to you? (laughing) - I'm loving it.

I'm like, it's 10 p.m. I'm like, yeah, I'm looking through my gifts. I find one of a chihuahua people. - Like a funny life. - Like a funny chihuahua.

And then she tells me something so serious and dark. And it was like that face time. I mean, we're like your friend calls you and you're like, making you funny face and they're crying. I literally goes, I'm so sorry.

I didn't read the second text.

I was sending a gift and he just died. I sent her a chihuahua, getting excited.

“And then she was like, I don't know if this life is right”

for me. (laughing) She's like, I'm questioning my business on this planet. And I was like, okay, but disregard the game. (laughing)

- Wait, that was so funny. I know, I really made this die laughing in my bed last night. - Anyway, thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so so much. We're late for the turn last night.

- Thank you. - We actually, we love you. Talk soon. (upbeat music)