Habits and Hustle
Habits and Hustle

Episode 538: High Performing Women and Why They Lose Attraction in Relationships When They Lead

3d ago12:001,999 words
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At a certain level of success, dating stops feeling simple. When you are disciplined and used to leading in every room you walk into, attraction is no longer just chemistry. It becomes about polarity,...

Transcript

EN

Hi guys, it's Tony Robb and you're listening to Habits and Hustle.

Crash it.

I have to talk about something that I saw that I was so excited to bring up on this podcast.

I saw this video where this woman was saying that women need men that are better than them, who are smarter than them, more successful than them, fitter than them, more inspiring

than them, more of everything, and the reason is because that's what we would naturally

be attracted to. I gotta tell you something. I actually totally agree with her, 100% like I believe like a guy has to be Alpha, Double Alpha, or else I will eat him for breakfast, and that's just the way it's going to be.

And when I was watching this, I thought to myself, wow, this is probably one of the most controversial videos, or it probably would be a really controversial video, because of the time we're living in. Wait, really? I think so.

Because it kind of feels like it's like how people thought 50 years ago or 100 years ago. But I think that we're living in a time that we're unable to say what we, we say things that we don't actually really believe in our heads, or that's actually really human nature. But the truth of the matter is, it's 100% true. I do want a guy who is better than me, who is smarter, fitter, faster, stronger, taller,

more inspiring, more successful, richer, I mean all the things, right?

Like I don't want to be the one that is superior, because it's hard for me to be attracted to someone who I feel I'm more dominating in some way to them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know. I totally get that.

Like the stronger I could never imagine being with a guy that's literally weaker than me.

I can only have that price of 75 pounds, like if you can't do that, that's just craziness. Okay, I think the exercising aside, I think it's overall. And I think that if people say otherwise, they're like, they're lying to themselves. It's bullshit. Like what girl wants to be with a guy who is, who's weaker, who's weaker, less successful,

less inspiring, who is like all the things. You know, like who is less fit, I mean, I don't know. I think we are as we're like, we're animals and as animals, we are animalistic and have needs and we are automatically drawn to like a stronger, like a woman is drawn to a stronger sex.

It's just how it is. When I'm with a guy, we're not now, I guess, but when I used to be, I got a fucking irritating. Back in my day to you, I don't know. I remember like, but even now, like, what may I even talking about, like in real life,

now, even like, I find like so many men aren't even men. Like actually kind of like sad and pathetic, like the pool of people that I see some of my friends having to deal with, I'm like, oh my god, that is so unattractive. Yeah. Like they're like, weak.

I mean, it's just like, they're weak and they're just like, not manly. They don't take any initiative, they don't take any control.

Like, I guess I am like a more of an alpha girl, right?

So especially if you're an alpha girl, you need a guy who's double alpha for at least alpha. And so that's just, and even if you're not an alpha girl, even girls who are beta or Kappa or whatever you want to call it, don't you? Zedel, I don't know any girl, I don't know any girl, any woman, any female who is attracted

to someone who they can walk all over and who is like, who has no spine, and all that. Like they may decide and choose to be with them because it's easier, right? And it's the path of least resistance and they do it because they can, but don't lie to yourself or lie to me and say like, you're hot for that person because there's no freaking way you are.

Period. That's my opinion. Now you can tell me yours. No, I mean, I think I agree for the most part, I obviously, there's like new ones to

every situation, but I just can never imagine, I think the only category in which I could

see myself giving a little like leewayness would be in this sort of financial success category just because I want to be a billionaire. Now I cannot only dream of saving, why, for example, so here let me give you something on like the outcome and not doing something that can make you that way by doing the work to get there.

Well, we're talking about starting dating guys. No, you're saying I want to be X right, so I'm saying realistic expectations. Well, let me finish my sentence, you're not, that's absolutely not even the point of what I'm saying. Okay, okay, fine.

I'm saying I would, I consider myself to someone who's aspiring for crazy aspiration when it comes to success financially and also in career, right? Now if my guy that I'm dating doesn't want to be a billionaire, but they want to be

A millionaire, for example, and they are moving towards that direction.

They're motivated. They're inspired.

They're not entrepreneurs.

They have that grit to them where they're successful and they don't make me feel like I'm the wealthier one in the relationship. They still pay for things. They still support me. They still make me feel like the woman.

Then I'm okay with that. But I don't necessarily agree with that. I agree with that.

Like I think I would just only area where there's, but I just said that there's new ones.

I'm not disagree with everything you said. I just said that there's new ones and I'm just adding to the layer. I actually agree. I think that's interesting.

I think that it's not, it's not about the money.

It's more about the Earth, like smart or fit or stronger, whatever it is. I just think that a lot of times a new Earth is successful, woman, and have a lot of those things going for you because you are fit and you are smart and you are successful. The pools of men get smaller and smaller to pick from because there's a piece of it that's like a lot of guys are intimidated by that or the woman gives off too much alpha, male

energy where it's not even a turn on for the guy. There's okay, that component becomes very difficult. What I really feel is that when a guy is all those things more than the girl, it quiet down that girl's alpha energy. That's what happens.

The girl's alpha energy comes out more when she's around some a guy that doesn't have it and can't bring it, but when she's right, it brings out their mask on. I have a guy around me who's way more masculine and super alpha, I automatically, not on purpose, subconsciously.

Like I end up not cowering like, you do get a little girl, but I feel more feminine,

I feel more of a girl, I feel much more like a little girl and every girl wants to feel a little girl. They don't want to feel like they're taking over and I guess the girls who do feel that way will then all the power to you, God bless you, but the majority of us, the majority of women who are just doing well and strong and smart and fit and blah, blah, blah, we

want the guy to be way better or we will eat you for breakfast and snack, so that's just how it works. But I really wish that guys understood that concept, like because I feel like if they did, they would understand that when they're presented with a woman who's maybe a little bit more masculine, if that guy were to just assert themselves more, that would allow the woman

to be able to enter a feminine anymore and I think guys don't understand that dynamic

as much and so they immediately think, oh, well, she's just a masculine, more intense female. And then they think to themselves, oh, well, she's got this, I guess I don't have to be like, I can just be a bit more beta. But I think if they understood that a lot of those really intense women who are just power houses who are working, who are crushing it, they actually can be really feminine females

within their relationship dynamics, they just need to be given that shot and they need to be with a woman who can present that more masculine kind of vibe. Right. But the guy has to have enough real inner confidence to even do that, to actually show that and be that as opposed to going the opposite.

Like listen, I'm not going to lie to you. There's a lot of women I meet who are like super like have a who are successful, who have like a really a really strong male energy and it is a turn off, right? But I'm saying for the majority, for the most of us, like people who are not like in the point one percentile of like super, a super successful, crazy power houses.

I'm saying, I'm saying the majority of people, majority of women who are whoever, and on the scale of whatever, that what we need, we are looking for someone who is better than us. Men who are better than us, like I said smarter than us, fitter than us, all of the ears of us, you know, and it's just what we naturally will gravitate to.

And like again, you can't fake that stuff either you have it or you don't, right?

So this is not about like people like being, you know, kind of like pounding their chest and pretending. It's the ones who actually are those things. Yeah. So, you know, that's really how I feel.

It's nice. Interesting. You know, the joke about how women can ever decide where they want to eat. Yeah, that's me. Yeah.

So it would so funny about that scenario is that I just think the joke could be non-existent if guys understood that sometimes we just don't want to have to decide things. We're constantly faced with a ton of decisions and in some scenarios, I think just handle it. Just handle it.

Like you know what I like. You've been to eat many times before. You know what my vibe is? Just fucking pick something else. So, that's a great point.

That's what I guess that's really at the end of the day what I was even getti...

because I just want someone to like handle shit.

Yeah.

If I'm handling all this shit all the time, I want someone else to be like, you know,

I got this.

I don't have to handle stuff and trust me that like changes the entire dynamic of the

relationship.

If I don't have to like take control, trust me.

I don't want to take control.

Like I'm taking control in enough areas of my life. I don't want to be taking control in every single area.

And if someone can like alleviate some of that for me, oh my God.

It is the biggest turn on in my, like for me. I love that show. Yeah. Me too. So, that's all.

Let me know what you think. Leave me a comment. And for someone who thinks that I'm out of my mind crazy or whatever, let me know that too. Because I like to hear from you and what you think.

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