Episode 570: 3 Reasons Why You Aren't Sleeping Properly

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We all know what it is. It's about sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep is because we can now. Right now, just a. You can take a nap right after we spend it. Sleep has become like the hottest hashtag on the internet, the World Wide Web, social media. It's the number one thing they say for health, longevity, and aging, just everything.

“That's what the new thing is. That's the top, the top health modality.”

The number one health tip is to sleep. So why is it? If that is the case, why are we sleeping worse than ever?

When we have a million apps, a million gadgets, a million of everything to improve our sleep.

Do you know that our sleep is becoming progressively worse? Or you're by your course. And time. What? Screen time. It's more than just screen time. It's because we're putting so much focus and attention and thoughts about sleep that it's actually interfering with our sleep. So I don't think that's the universal issue across the board.

No. 100% this is what we're doing this podcast right now. Because everybody in America is losing sleep because they're thinking about sleep. No. What I'm saying is listen. I'm not generalizing right now. What I'm saying is we are spending over. Well, billions of dollars a year on ways to improve our overall sleep right with apps and technology, of course, and gadgets and all sorts of things. And the more we do that, it's becoming actually the more we do that, the worse are not just our sleep in. Our sleep is the type of sleep we're doing.

So instead of sleeping like a deep restful sleep, we may be sleeping, but poorly we're not falling asleep. But is that causation or just correlation? Like I don't think the fact? Well, we get to my point. Okay. That's what you're dropping.

No. We're to get to the point. No. It's a long way to get to the point. It's so long-winded.

But no. The point is one of the things is that the less you think about sleep, the better your sleep will become. So I said to my daughter the other day, you can't fall asleep. I said, you should count sheep. And so what happened?

She counted the sheep. Came back to my room and she's like, "Mom, I counted the sheep." And I'm so awake.

So that made me go down this whole rabbit hole, which then basically was another proof that the more attention that you put on the idea of you not sleeping.

The lesser actually going to sleep.

“And there's been research to back the fact that counting sheep is actually a really bad thing to do if you want to fall asleep.”

So number one, sleep tip is a don't count sheep and don't focus and think about you sleeping if you want to sleep better.

And they found that people whose diet was unprocessed, vegetables fruit versus the same people eating a very processed diet of high sugar, high fat.

They actually slept the same amount. But the quality of their sleep was exceptionally worse. So diet does have a huge correlation to how you sleep. The type of sleep you have and the more focused you put on your sleep, the worse you end up sleeping. That's my point. Yes, I agree.

I'm glad you're my foil. No, I agree. I agree, but I just don't think that the cause for why we are all sleeping worse has nothing to do with the sleep industry getting bigger.

“Oh, no, no. I didn't say, well, I said the cause is right now. There's a lot of causes, right?”

There's lots of different reasons why we're not sleeping well, but I do believe that the sleep industry is actually creating more havoc. Interesting.

Our lack of sleeping well versus how it was done 20 years ago, like all of these gadgets have been actually making our sleep worse, not better.

And we all know how to sleep. Do we have stats on that, though? Yeah, a lot of stats. I'm telling you, there's a lot of research backing it. But on the new gadgets that have only come out in the last few years, like how are there's like more eight, five to five to ten years. The other interesting thing is because I just think that I just don't know how they can make that kind of that kind of causation when there's so many other factors that are affecting our sleep.

So like somebody who has some, so for example, like if I download a sleep app, right? Like, and then my sleep is bad, but I am also still consuming like 10 hours of screen time every single day. I might not be eating as great. I might not be doing this. You know what I mean? Like there's so many other fact, maybe there's loud noise in my neighborhood. Like there's so many things that contribute to it.

“I'm saying apples to apples. I'm saying if your lifestyle hasn't really shifted and you're incorporating.”

You will get worse. Or you're incorporating one of those sleep trackers. And but yet your lifestyle is not changing. The two things that I found to be very interesting was how diet does really affect your sleep in terms of the quality of sleep and the type of sleep. Like I said, people are eating processed food, high fat, high sugar.

They may sleep the same amount of time technically. Let's say as people who are eating a very full food diet. That is fruits and veggies and protein and all that. Just the quality is very, very different. But what I think, I know for myself, by the way, I did it a little bit of an experiment. But it wasn't meant to be an experiment. But a few nights ago, I had like the worst night sleep. I went to bed, let's say 12 30 at night and I woke up at three and then I couldn't fall back asleep.

And I hate those nights when you're like trying to fall asleep. I'm turning the pillow over.

And the second you start turning that pillow over, it's like, it's the game is over because you get hot on one side.

And the second I do that, I'm like, oh shit, I'm up all night.

“Because now I'm getting myself anxious. So that's the first thing. They say the best thing to do when that happens.”

Instead of counting sheep is to take a walk, leave the environment, walk around your house, go to a different room, do something different, and then come back to bed. Versus just didn't even bed and trying to fall asleep still. When you say counting sheep, can you define them? Like you never did this? No, I mean, I grew up with a commercial. I would say count nine sheep, you know, ninety nine sheep, ninety eight count backwards, like counting sheep.

But no, that would drum me crying. Yeah, but they're saying it gets, the idea is it becomes so boring and mundane that you'll fall asleep. But it just doesn't, that's not necessarily true. But what I was going to tell you is I had this, I had a very terrible night sleep. So when I woke up, but I knew I had a really bad night sleep, I said to myself, okay, because what happens normally,

if you have a bad night sleep, you end up eating way more sugar, high fat food, like fat carbs, caffeine. And even though I knew, and I knew this happened to me, I tried to make a conscientious decision to say, you know what Jennifer, you know, you had a bad night sleep, don't fall into that trap. Don't eat the shitty food, don't, you know, go for those french fries. Like don't do those traps that happen when you have a bad night sleep, because now you're thinking about it, don't do it.

Right? And as the day kept on going, it's so true. Like even though I was conscious and doing that I, this could happen to me. It will happen because of my terrible night sleep. And me knowing that it was, it was going to happen.

I did it. Even when I knew things. Yeah, like my whole day was shot. Like I ate, I ate terribly, I ate way more than I would normally eat. I was like a machine.

I was like a, like a garbage. I just stuffed and shoved food in me all day. You're like trying to stay awake by eating, right? Well, no, it's like you, you know, it's like also you're craving salt and sugar so much more.

And I talked, tried to talk to myself off the ledge.

Like don't let this happen to you because you're doing it. I didn't even happen. Don't do it. I didn't even more. And maybe that is because I was so much more. There's something to be said about being conscious about it and doing it more. Oh my god, wait, that's the craziest thought.

Like you're so exhausted that your brain actually doesn't have the strength for willpower.

“The same way that it would if it was super rested, right?”

Like that's actually really interesting. That that you're so fascinating. That when you're super exhausted, you make, you make really bad choices because you are literally so tired that your brain is not at its full strength to be able to be like, No, I don't want that. No, I don't want that.

It just kind of gives in. It becomes a leisure more passive existent. Well, like you give into the craving. Willpower is a muscle like anything else. There's no, you can't rely on willpower. You can't rely on motivation.

You could say discipline. Even your discipline has become weaker. But it's like you're tired. Like you don't have like your mental diet. That it's like, so your discipline, your willpower, everything is working

at like on fumes because your brain is not firing completely the way it would normally fire. But also because when you don't sleep and I don't know the proper terminology for this, your body is, there's something that's like you're craving these other things to, I don't know, offset it. It's like your melatonin hormone is so low that you want other things to be used.

Not nothing to do with that. But why don't you google what it is? What am I like googling exactly? Google, why do we crave high processed food, high fat, high sugar foods when we're so tired? You know, it's also really interesting is that women need more sleep than men,

and it's not discussed enough. Like at all to function women need on average like one to three more hours.

But never for that. Oh yeah, guys can go on like seven eight hours.

Women need like eight to 10. What first of all, that is absolute. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Scientifically true. Google.

When have I ever, I've, I haven't gotten eight to ten hours of sleep since I was four years old. I absolutely get that much sleep. Okay, you don't have two kids. Right. Let me tell you something.

Yeah, but just because you can survive, I hope that doesn't mean that your body would not thrive so much better on more sleep. Okay, but even when I said, I was just saying, even when I didn't have kids, I think eight hours seven to eight hours. I believe it's sufficient for more people.

You're one female. This is across the board. Speaking from the hormonal perspective, women need more hours too. I beg to differ. Google it.

Okay, Google it. That's like Google it. Do women, okay, do women. Do women need more sleep than men? What does it say?

Women are multitaskers. They do all of them. They're brains more than men. It says that sleep research center. They do use their brains more than men.

So that, yes, they do require more sleep. Again, with Google, if I would tell her own. I have so many hormonal issues that I have gone down the rabbit hole of hormones and women. So much. Trust me, they absolutely need more sleep than men.

It's like a scientific thing. We just do. We function differently. Our homes require more recovery time. Okay, I buy it.

I buy it. Okay. And I think that actually a bigger problem is like what you're talking about like being a mom.

“I think that's why it can be so draining.”

So draining on women is that they do so much more the workload. They end up getting less sleep than their partners and their male partners. Which is even crazier because they actually require more to rejuvenate. So it's like the opposite should be happening. Oh, my God, let me just make sure you understand.

I don't disagree that women are in a position where they are. They're hormones and what's required of us and all this other thing. For sure, we would it would make sense that we need more sleep. I was just saying, I haven't had more than seven or eight hours of sleep ever. And so that's if I can get seven hours of sleep.

I feel exceptionally well rested. I wouldn't even know how to sleep more than I think I'm actually okay on seven seven to eight hours of sleep. Actually, but even like back in college and stuff.

We're never always like a that's crazy.

I guess it looked 12 hours if I wanted to love to sleep. Yeah. I mean, I'm like I thought I was born or built. But I will say that is obviously important for for so many for focus for being alert for energy for aging for longevity for for help overall health. Sleep is 100% now become known to be the number one health tip that you can do to make your life better in every way possible.

“And so if if you were wanting to have more sleep number one, the best thing I think you can do besides buying all these trackers and downloading every app and doing all these other things that the multi billion dollar industry tell you to do.”

The best thing to do is create a schedule where, you know, it becomes a non-negotiable where you just don't allow yourself to go to bed a certain time later than you're supposed to.

Maybe another non-negotiable is getting putting yourself in a bed between the hours of like nine and ten and that should not have much waiver.

“You know, like maybe don't go for that dinner or maybe not go don't go to that event.”

Like whatever it is, make that a non-negotiable. I don't know. But so hard to do. I mean, yeah, so hard to do. If sleep should be this real non-negotiable, like other things can be like exercises, my non-negotiable, how to create not a schedule.

But curate and design your day where you allow yourself for that allotment. So like for me, I have two kids. It's not that easy, right? Like I have to make sure my kids are in bed before I, of course, I go to bed, make sure that everything is done. Like you know what I mean, that's much more difficult for parents. So what is the way around that? Like, I think it's a create in my time routine.

Well, you, well, as we say, like, but even creating a nighttime routine has parameters when you are a parent or you have responsibility. It's not so easy to create a nighttime routine when you have two kids and one kid doesn't want to go to bed and like other, they come into, they crawl into your bed or they do all these other things that then disrupt your sleep and then you're not able to do all these other things. So, but the solution to it is just not having kids. Like there's no way around that shit.

It's like that's just like, welcome to the contraception version of our second. Like I don't know how I listen after spending two weeks of my sister and her kids. I'm just like, I don't know how, I don't know how. I don't even know how.

So the answer is, if you don't have kids, don't, that's a great, great sleep tip.

If you want to sleep more, don't have kids. Sleep tip number two, don't count sheep, get out of your bed and actually do something different, change your environment. And number three, watch the diet that you eat because diet, it plays a significant role. So I was going to maybe tie that into that. Like the food thing.

“I think a couple things, if you want to sleep better, the best with all, in all honesty, if you do have kids,”

I'm, you know, and if you don't have kids, you could still have kids. I was kidding. I was going to say doing other activities and other things during the day that will allow you the best chance of having a good night's sleep. By the way, that is exercise. Working out is a huge factor.

Huge. I sleep way better on days that I've gone. 100%. Oh my god. Diet.

Huge. Another big one is the sauna. So I use my sauna. I think, I don't know if I showed it to show it to you. I had the portable sauna, which is my Sarah Soge.

It's amazing. It's like a hundred. I'm telling you. But that one is like this, I have this new sauna. It's a portable sauna that is full infrared.

Red light. It's super, actually it's portable. If I was a steam thing. No, it's infrared. No.

Right. Yes. Like I have it in my office. And I, it really helps me before I go to sleep. It basically like relaxes my body and my mind.

And I love it. So that's a really great modality to me to help me fall asleep. I, that's how I feel about bad. I really have a great way. Like something that I, if I had a really stressful day and I know I'm not going to get sleep when I just get into bed.

Like I'll take a bath and then I'll put lavender. Absolutely great. I love that.

And I'll always light a bunch of candles because I love sending candles.

And I'll also put lavender oil on my pillows. Like that's a huge game changer for me. Yeah, I love that. That's what I do too. Super calming.

So I have the lavender. Yeah, it's really good. It's great too, as well. Yeah. That's a great tip.

So they obviously say like, you know, I don't want to bore you with the same things that people say. Like, you know, to sleep better, like make sure you sleep in a dark room. Make sure that the temperature as it is cold. Make sure that's all finding them dandy. But another thing is make sure you actually like create your life before you get into bed.

That allows you to actually sleep well with quality versus, you know, not. That's the point. I think that what you said about the sleep quality being different. Like, you might sleep the same amount of time, but it might not be as meaningful of sleep. That to me hits me really hard because I, I do use a track or something.

I mean, I haven't used it forever, but I use the Fitbit. It was quite a wake up call, like how often I'm awake. But that's how often I roll around and how often I, and it did make me. But it does change. Like, I can notice the difference in my sleep when I've eaten right.

And when I've worked out that day, like to me exercises.

It's a really big game changer for me.

It's the number one game. I think the number find it hard to sleep if I haven't worked out.

“Yeah. I mean, I think that's why I'm so passionate about exercise because it literally helps with it.”

So many things. Everything. Seriously, everything. With your career's Nicole health, with your mental health, with your sleep, with your confidence. There's like nothing that exercise cannot cure. Yeah.

I kid you not. Like, I'm not to say that because I'm not getting paid by the exercise association. I am serious. The world exercise association is not paying me. I'm not a spokesperson for them.

But I should be if there was such a thing.

It's free.

You don't have to go to a gym to exercise.

You can exercise anywhere. Like any time, anywhere, there's no excuse. And it literally is a cure all for so many things, including sleep, including mental health, including self-esteem, including, including. That is literally, that is why I'm so passionate about it.

And like I said, you've got to create a situation and a platform for you to win in life.

“And if you want to win in life, you've got to like stack the deck for you.”

And exercise is the number one thing you should start with.

You know, that is basically, you know, and period.

That is it. And it will help your sleep. I guarantee it. Wait, let me just quickly read these results from Google. So we're still on this map.

Yeah, the food thing. No, this is the food thing that you ask me to look up.

It's that it comes down to a balance between the hormones left in, which is the press

opposite and grellin, which are green, which increase increases hunger. So like your those hormones get completely off balance. So when you're tired, you'd crave it a lot more. Yes, you know what? Actually, I do know that one.

I just for whatever reason.

“I just didn't remember it at that moment.”

Left in. It's the one. You're tall. That's the call back to another podcast about sugar. I should check out about tall and intelligence.

You should listen to that one. All right, guys. So good night. Help you sleep well tonight. And don't forget to exercise.

Eat well.

“Keep your room dark and keep the temperature low.”

And what was it? Don't have kids. Don't have kids. Don't have kids. Number one top to number one.

Number one top to. And don't count sheep. All right, guys. Have a great day. And great evening.