ON AMBITION… With Gillian Anderson and Munroe Bergdorf

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This week, we're talking about ambition. The engine that drives us forward, the inner voice that tells us to keep going, and the shadow side that asks whether we've ever done enough.

First actor and emu in a Jillian Anderson reflects on being a self-confessed workaholic, and

the belief that she has to earn her place through constant effort. Highly relatable. We discuss pleasure as power, the guilt of not working, and how she balances fierce professional drive with parenthood and presence. When model and fashion icon Monroe burgged off shares her ambition was forged through rejection

and gay keeping in the fashion industry. From being treated as a gimmick to witnessing real change on the runway, she speaks about perseverance, representation, and widening the path of others. This is an episode about striving, self-worth, and it asks whether ambition liberates us

or quietly runs the show, first up, let's hear from Jillian Anderson.

Your final failure is about failure to not work. Are you a workaholic? And where do you think that comes from?

“Why do you feel that you need to work in order to earn your place on this planet?”

I don't quite know, but I do have... I mean, it's a like a Protestant work ethic. I'm not quite sure where it's come from, but what I do know is I feel incredibly lucky on the one hand, I mean, on all hand. I don't mean only. Yeah, I'm incredibly lucky, incredibly fortunate, privileged, all of that, to have the

choices that I have had both in my life and my career. And part of it, I think, is showing myself that I deserve it, because I'm doing all these things. All these good things are happening, then I'd better be working for them. It's not coming lightly, or it's not frivolous.

That's another thing, actually, that I wanted to talk about in terms of pleasure. That I'm starting to realise, too, is that so much of pleasure is perceived as being frivolous. Yes, trivial. Yeah, and why? Why isn't it as much of a sense of power to lean into that, to probably embrace pleasure,

and make space for it and make time for it and give it to oneself as it is the other

And so I'm, you know, I'm trying to have more of that in my life, but also realising

the degree to it so much of what I'm involved in, whether it's, you know, this drink or what are the shows that I work on, or etc, is about pleasure and the joy and pleasure. Anyway, I don't grasp.

“I think you're so right about pleasure, because why can't it be as inobloom, as transformative,”

I was suffering or sadness or pain, because it's the same thing but the different end of the spectrum. Yeah, exactly. I mean, actually, I do feel like, even though I am a self-described, workaholic, I do get pleasure from it. I do get pleasure from it.

When I'm clear, but it turns out, when I'm not eating from crack, as I drink it, I think quite clearly. And things come to me. I'm in a moment right now where, and I'm sure that a lot of it has to do with my age and it's none of wanting to leave a mark. It's none of that.

It's just, it is feeling like Hang on, I've still got some things to do. I've still got, you know, things to do that I didn't even know I wanted to do. And that is, of course, in roles and building a company that I'm building. But it's also just in terms of realising that I do have a few things that I want to share with people.

“And have you ever regret it working too hard or taking on a project?”

There have been a couple of moments when I haven't been able to stop around my kids, you know, that I had more to do with not in terms of my work as an actor, but stuff on the side of all with other projects and stuff where I have felt the guilt of choosing to focus on those things instead of having time with kids. And I feel like there's a good balance right now.

I feel like when I'm with them, I'm with them. And that has become more and more meaningful to me.

It's been really important to me in terms of by acting work to always have them as part

of the priority in terms of, this is what I'm available, this is what I'm not, et cetera. But this is different, this is in terms of what happens with meetings and resumes and all those other things that end up in our days, the day taking, sucking that time. And I've got some pretty strict rules around all of that, so that my work of Holism is something that my boys can look at as being beneficial to them because they can see

you know, not just in terms of what I bring home at the end of the day, but in terms of seeing me effectively building things, and they both have an interest in that.

“And I think it's been really great that they get to see, and I think they would say that too,”

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We're a million times and we're getting married.

We'll have new episodes every Tuesday, so make sure to subscribe to NileWeds on YouTube. I think I'm an extremely ambitious person.

I've really had to live a life of discipline and life of tenacity and constant setbacks,

“constant people that are gatekeeping, people that are withholding and coming into the”

fashion industry. Nobody wanted a hire me and it took some of the biggest photographers just taking a chance and me like Nick Knight, like Rankin, who wanted to work with me when I was constantly having doors slammed in my face because they were like, "Why would we work with a trans person?" or "most?"

I know that a lot of black models from the '90s felt the same way as I watched documentary the other day with that, we're just not hiring black models this season as exactly the same.

“So why would we work with a trans person?”

There's not that kind of campaign, it's not an LGBT campaign. Now we're seeing that change, we're seeing trans people be in shows and it's not a thing

that their trans is a thing because the visibility is incredible and when I see a trans

model on a runway, if it's like Alex or if it's Maxim or if it's God India or if it's all of these incredible people that are within the industry, that means so much to me but it is not exploited that their trans anymore, if it's so long it was, I have done shoots where my transness has been, you know, almost like a gimmick and I'm really glad that I've opened doors for so many people, I've been in this industry for almost a decade now, but

if it wasn't for, you know, hearing the stories of, you know, women like Naomi Campbell and Jane Smalls and Jordan Dunn and Leo Meanderson talking about, you know, being exploited from like the ages of 14 and being told that there's no black models this season or being on set and not knowing how to do black hair, if it wasn't for those stories and seeing their tenacity and that they could get through it, then I could apply the same kind of work

ethic and be like, okay, well one day, there's going to be more than one trans person in the runway, there's going to be a trans person on the runway and, you know, I have faith that there's going to be multiple trans people on runway one day and then that's going to fill throughout as well and then we're going to see more trans people in all sorts of campaigns and then the beauty standard is going to change and then trans beauty is not going to be seen as any

different from any other beauty, just like black beauty is now going in the respect that it didn't once upon a time and that's really, you know, what the book is about as well, everything does change and I've really got faith that one day trans people are going to be able to navigate society in the same kind of freedom that other people are very experienced and same kind of oppression in yesterday did and we'll just be able to be ourselves without having to constantly

be so aware of the fact that we're different. You gave me four words, I'm going to let you off the final one. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that I was maybe the last one's long-winded. It's such a beautiful place to end and if I can, I would like

to give the final word. This is quick fire. I think no, I never wanted to be quick fire with you

honestly, I could do this for hours but I know you've got a fabulous launch go to the final word for me will be powerful, you're so powerful, you're powerful in your truth, you're powerful in your words on the page, you're powerful in person. I am so grateful to you for finding times,

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