IMO Live: Give Your Parents Grace with Quinta Brunson

I worked on Kim Pooh, it's a PA.

- I missed that in your book. - I don't think you were. - I don't know, I did, it was like,

it was their first episode, actually.

- Wow. - And now it was a PA,

“and through that meta-producing is a production assistant.”

- And she does a podcast now, she's in the business now. - Yeah, I'm just, you know, the Flingo PA, I was like, yeah, you know, production assistant, and then I,

that persona. (upbeat music) - This episode of IMO is brought to you by nine-it-earlines and Chase home-lending. - Oh, wow, it's so big.

- It's so big, we know. - Can we go back out and come in again? - I know, it's like, I'm gonna be like, hey, what, oh, what? You're here, Sandy, what's going on?

What, you guys, welcome to IMO, but this is the very first event

that we're holding here in this amazing auditorium.

Isn't it beautiful? (audience cheering) - Wow. - And I'd just like to thank all of our friends and family who are here and a special thanks

to United Airlines who's sponsored this episode for us. (audience cheering) - Shout out to our sponsors. - Yeah, but you know, I'm actually a million mile of fire. - I didn't know that.

“- I know you didn't know that, that's why I'm telling you.”

- Is no way you're gonna catch me. - You can't. - Probably not. - You can't fly that much commercial anymore. - Probably not.

- Well, congratulations, congratulations. - Let's go catch up to me. - But you guys, we are excited. This is a big week. This is the opening of the Obama Presidential Center

and we thought that it would be a good thing to do. It's to have a wonderful chat.

- We've got a room full of amazing young girls

who are participating in our goals after two of the Alliance. And I think we have the perfect guests today who's gonna join us. And she is, Craig is supposed to do the introduction.

- She's just like, all of a sudden. - You go in there. - You go in there. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.

- I'll definitely help you out.

“This is my right to do it. - This is my right to do it.”

- It's like, this is like, this is like this. She goes again, taking over. - Sorry. - Well, Quinta is a creator, writer, actor, and executive producer of ABC's hit mockumentary.

Abbott Elementary. - Woo! - Right on. (audience applauds) And you know, the Robinson household,

that we're back to appointment TV now, that's a big show. - I'm glad you're letting the boys watch a little TV. - All right, it's just happy for them. - Quinta Brunson is the first solo black woman to win the Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series.

And the first to earn three Emmy nominations in a single year for writing, acting, and producing in the comedy category. So without further ado, let's welcome our-- - A big Chicago welcome.

- Our good friend now, that we got to meet her in the back, Quinta Brunson. (audience applauds) Oh, so glad you're here. (audience applauds)

(audience applauds) - All righty. - Hey girl, hey. - Hi. - Mrs. Obama.

- I know, I told you to call me Michelle. - So, you're gonna have to figure that out. - Yeah. - I asked in the back, I said, "What do I say, Mrs. Obama, do I say Mimi?"

- No. (audience laughs) - Michelle. Michelle. - Everybody in this room,

it is truly full of friends and family. They don't know me as Michelle Obama. They know me as me, sure, shall they? - Yeah. - Michelle, or so, you part of the family.

- Hey, you over there, well, thank you for being here. - Thank you for having me. This building is gorgeous. I, it's beautiful. - I didn't get to see it being built

as I'm sure all the Chicagoans you've been riding past this, but it was absolutely breathtaking to me from the outside. In the car, I just, I said, "What is this huge piece of art that got installed?" I didn't even realize that this was the presidential center.

So, it's just gorgeous and congratulations. - Yeah. - Thank you so much. (audience applauds) We are so excited to share this space

with the community because it's more than just

An archive of Barack's presidency.

It is really a declaration of hope. It is a community space. There are recording studios here for young people, this auditorium is available for the community. There are gardens here.

There are 19 acres of public new park space created. There's a big gymnasium across the street from Hyde Park High School, which is across the street, a full professional size basketball court because you know, Barack had to have basketball

in the selection. - Did you say Craig? - I did say Craig. (audience laughs) - Yeah, I call Barack Craig, he calls Kelly Meesh,

Leslie Meesh, we do all that, but yeah. So, we are very proud of it and happy to share it with the city and with the world. And I know you're gonna take a tour

“before you get on here, maybe or you'll come back for a tour?”

- Yes, I was supposed to take a tour before this, but as you know, getting here was a... - Yeah. - There was weather in the Midwest, and so I am here on two glorious hours of sleep.

- Look at it. - And you know what? I was tired, I know where I'm coming, I want my energy to come back and everything. And as soon as we got outside and saw that building,

there was really, I'm not kidding you guys, like a warmth and positivity. He might drive her even, he was so hype about it. And he's here from Chicago. - He's from Chicago.

- My security was like, wait, no, it's just, it's really stunning. And I think he's a good energy radiating out of this place, for sure. And seeing these lovely faces brighten my day,

coming out, high girls. (audience applauds) - So beautiful. - Put the youth spent some time in Chicago. - I did.

“- How long ago was it that you spent some significant time here?”

- Oh man, it was... Okay, so if I do 15 years? - What? - Yeah, which is crazy 'cause I'm like only barely 17, but yeah, it was like, you were seven when you came.

- It was wild, running the Chicago streets. - No, I think like 15 years. I started coming out while I was in college. I might be wrong on the math, I'm a writer, not a mathematician, I don't believe.

And I don't think about the past two often. So I'm not sure, but I started coming out when I was in college

and I was taking classes at Second City.

- I had a boyfriend at the time who was going to Columbia College and tell us more. - She didn't wait, she didn't wait, did she? She just though writing it. - I don't want to talk.

- She went writing. - You brought him up, I did. - Okay. - See, that's the lawyer, and she's pointing out that you brought it up, so they're gonna write through the law.

- Oh, no, so there was some guy. - It's a good name.

“- No, it's a significant part of my past,”

but that's because, you know what, it brought me here. - And I came out to visit him once and saw that second city was just right next door. And it was kind of like my dream place, I would go watch. I watched us in L every night and I eventually looked up

where all these people, how they learned to do this. I started to figure it out. They had to have known each other. They have to have developed these skills

and a lot of those people went to Second City.

So I started coming out just to take like a weak intensive course. It was all I could afford. I could afford a Southwest ticket and a weak long course. - And we were West Philly. - Yeah, so I was in Philly.

- Yeah, I was, oh, what's Philly in there? - How is it? - Oh, my people, how do you guys do it here? We can't, we'll get into it later. I was in Philly, I was using my little money,

I taught dance classes, okay, you know? (laughing) - We know Chicago, people gonna be involved in this conversation. (laughing)

- I'm not gonna be more, we're gonna get to the dance classes. - I load up that, I taught dance classes for like $25 a class and at a dance school in Philly and I would take my little money and buy a ticket and spend the rest of my little money

to go to Second City and take a course.

I really had to use my little money because I did not tell my parents. They would think that I was on campus at Temple. - Wait, so you were commuting to Chicago? - I like the way you put it, not sneaking,

but commuting to Chicago. Thank you, Craig. - With me as their parents know it. - No, which don't do that. Don't do that, that's it, we'll talk about that later.

- We will talk about it. But yeah, you know, classic girl's sneaking off and doing improv. (all laughing) - Common story, kind of like Murray.

- At least it was something positive. - It was something positive. - But you were, because you grew up in a pretty strict,

I did, environment, you were one of five.

- Five, that's the five.

- Tell us about that little Quinta

and your name, Quinta, number five. - Yes, my name means fifth because my parents didn't expect to me and so they just, she was one of those, oh yeah, we did, we did, yep, the, your next oldest is

what's the age difference? - Eight years. - Yes, yeah, you were oops. - Yeah, any, you guys got any, oops, any? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- We have big generations, Craig has two sets of kids. - Right, right, so they're big age gaps. - Okay, and the cousins are close. - Is it just you two? - Just us.

- That's cool. - And a whole bunch of cousins. I love their buddies here. - I love siblings. - Probably half this audience is a cousin.

- Really? - Oh yes. - Oh yes. - That's him, so, okay, let me, oh yeah, it's about. - It's about to you, okay, so.

- Don't be, don't, I don't, I'm trying to flip it, so I don't have to talk about it. - I like how you flip it. - You like that? - Right to us.

- Could have been a smooth turn. - But you're one of, one of five. - One of five, I was the youngest, and yeah, my brother closest to me was eight, and eight-year difference, sorry.

And it was cool because I grew up really, really, really, really cultured.

“I think that's the best way I can put it.”

My parents are in their 70s, believe they're 73, and my oldest sibling is 53. And my sibling closest to me is 45, is that correct, yeah? And so, growing up, my brothers and sisters, we're already living life and passing down life to me,

and my parents as well, I recently was talking about this, but I grew up with my parents' music. So, my music was Stevie Wonder and Al Greene, and even their oldies, very old do-op songs,

by groups I don't know the names of, - They listen to jazz, we were big jazz. - Yeah, jazz, jazz, household. And then my brothers and sisters were taking in so much. I mean, my brother was watching WWE,

so I was this little girl coming to school, asking people if they could smell what the rock was cooking, and everyone was like, what is wrong with you, why do you? Why are you into that? And then my sisters were into like,

you know, they were into Conan and friends and late night TV, but also my sister took me to my first concert, which was an usher concert, she just liked me. She pulled me around like a little doll,

and she was always just taking me with her to things

because she liked me, but I was always the youngest kid in the room.

“So I think you feel like you were trying to keep up,”

or did you like being faded? - I liked it, it didn't seem strange to me. And I would get to school and share all the things that I thought were normal with my classmates. And I remember, and kindergarten, I was four,

everyone else was five, and I remember talking to them about like Luther Vandros in the children. - Then what would you say? What were you telling the people about Luther? - I would talk, you know, I would talk about music.

- Is it great music? - Is it great music? - Does it fall in love too? - Yeah, by the sandbox. - I was like, yes, these are the songs, right? You guys know this song, right?

And they're just talking about smiley face from Nick Jr. and you're like, these babies, yeah, seriously, but I'm so happy that I got so much culture and it definitely was the case with television because my parents had me watching their shows,

plus their oldies, and my brothers and sisters had me watching everything from Ace Ventura to Kings of Comedy, to SNL, to MadTV, to Living Color, every show's like rock, but then also shows like, the West, I just got so much funneled into me

and I'm really grateful for that. So if I have kids, I kind of wanna do the same kind of setup, like one, really old one, one, really young one.

“- 'Cause I think the young one keeps the older ones young too.”

- Yeah, yeah. - So, really good one. - Yeah, really good one, really good one.

- So were you always the show, show kid?

- Like, yeah. - Because you were the youngest when you performing all the time with it by-- - They made me let the baby sing. - Oh, yeah, no, they made me like their little gesture

For sure.

- Yeah. - It was...

- Quint to do this line from Martin,

'cause they just thought it was funny to the line. - Oh, it's so tough. There was one, I just saw an episode again recently, and I was like, oh, this is where they came from. It was a man at the DMV.

It's just, it's very silly stuff, got, I don't know, but there was an episode where someone, well, my Martin gets a new job, he's doing a TV show now a set of the radio show. But one of the, I rate audience members goes,

and where's Oprah? And for some reason, that was something they had me say, just all the time at three, and Martin was reciting, you ain't got no job, Tommy. And living color, they really enjoyed making me do

the character Wanda, who Jamie Foxe played.

“- So, you're a little seven-year-old impression, Wanda?”

- I mean, I'm talking for, oh my god. - Just learned to talk, and they are making me, and then they made me do not fun stuff. Like there were three floors to our house, and this was back in the day you had one remote,

and it worked like all the TVs. And so, or maybe we had more, and we just lost them, that's probably what happened. So, my sisters would make me go all the way to the third floor to get the remote and bring it down,

and just to go for, yeah, I was going for it. Those were the, and then the refund perks, like they forgot to tell me stuff a lot of the times, I came to late that they family stuff, like family secrets.

Like I didn't find out my oldest brother had a different dad until I was 16. - Oh yeah. - And it was just 'cause they forgot to tell me. - Yeah, it was, it was just like so normalized at that point.

I was like, what's the weird, weird parents funny? - Because they are, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have this natural way, comedic way about you. - Why thank you. - And I'm just, good thing.

- Yeah, yeah, we always talk about how our parents

were funny, yeah. - They were funny people, right? - Right. - But, your, your parents, it being, your household sounds like it was just a,

I think there's this last. - Beauty and people who are just dangerously authentic in themselves, and then they're observational people like me who are taking it all in. You know, my sister's one of the funniest people in the world

to me, she would never get up on a stage, or you know, even pursue acting, but her natural rhythm is just hilarious 'cause she's so authentic. To a fault, I can't get her to reel it in sometimes, but I appreciate that about her so much.

“And I think my parents are the same way.”

My mom is just the funniest little lady, and she doesn't see it. We were texting while watching the finals, and she was really upset about a whimbanyama, pushing Janglen Branson to the ground,

and she was like, this lanky man, my goodness. I said, mom, that's like, so funny that you're so mad. And she's like, the lanky man. - I said, well, they used to bully, whimby. So, you know, now this, she was like,

"Well, it must stop," and she sent the stop emoji. - And that's just so funny to me. - Where'd you get that? - A hilarious little lady, but you know what's funny?

The first time I met you, Michelle, it feels weird.

I wanna say Mrs. Little. - I'm doing just off. - Okay. - Yeah, Mrs. Obama. - You cracked me right on up. You really did. - What did I say to you? - I'm not gonna say what you said, but you were just so funny.

And I don't know if you remember, but I literally fell off my rock or laugh.

“- I think, I was, so just people's natural,”

just, I don't know, personhood is like true. - Like true, it was her? - I was cracking up, it was, I was working. - I'm funny. - Yeah. - But your mother was a school teacher.

- She was father managed to parking lot. - Yeah. - And the managed parking lot's at a company called Parkway. My filly people. - Okay.

Shout out to Parkway. - I mean, it's the me's knees and filly, you know. And I was what they call a parking princess. And by the, I mean, I called myself that, because I could park anywhere in Philly.

And you know, parallel parking, I can't park. - No, she's so much, she could park in any parking. - Oh, you literally, yeah, I mean, I'm like a lot, I want to see about that time. I think if you're the princess,

you can literally park, I'm not good at. - Oh, well, then, you don't get to drive. - That was a crazy part about it. I don't enjoy driving, but I had like, the juice, my friends would call me and be like,

"Oh my God, I'm down to you. "Do you think you're dead? "You can get me and I'm like, "hello, I call my dad real quick." Just, it was great. (laughing)

It was so cool. You were living like, what was your neighborhood? Like, what was school?

Like, my neighborhood, that's a good question.

My family did a really good job of making me feel,

like, I lived.

“And in full house, I didn't know that outside,”

my neighborhood was more like the wire. I was saying, really, that's aware. I think everybody here can relate. Something I really love about Chicago. - Yeah.

- And feel a kinship there. - We all thought we were rich. (laughing) And I think that's kind of like a testament to a really good family.

And it wasn't protectiveness. It was your child and you deserve to live in a nice environment. But yeah, one day I was outside and I was like, jumping rope with double dutch with my girlfriends.

And then there was like a drive by, oh yeah. And that happened. And we just ran behind the, the, oh my porch there was like a little barrier. We had a, what do you call it, outdoor porch.

And then we like stood up. And then this kid I knew came limping down the street in blood dripping from his leg. And I was like, man, that's so crazy that that happened to him. And then I was like, wait, could that happen to me?

“And then I remember that being a moment of,”

woo, my parents were doing it. It was summer, I was outside by my, I probably was about 12, I would say. Yeah, 'cause we moved out of that neighborhood when I was 14.

But they did a good job of making me feel like it wasn't as tough as it was 'cause it was a rough neighborhood. But did having older brothers and sisters where they kind of your protectors or were you kind of like, I know you knew that you had to be able to throw some hands.

I know you right about that. Yes, I knew I needed to know how to fight. And I, I do know how to fight. Um, or just as like, by the way, really well. Just so happen.

You look like somebody. - Yeah. - Thank you. - Quinto, best I think. (laughing)

It's like, I don't like that thing, right now. Quinto, right now, right now, right now, right now. That wasn't a look I was going to do. - I was going to do all the tools. I guess that's good.

- Yeah. - No, yeah, they knew how to fight.

We never fought each other.

And we weren't fighters, you know? Fighting, I don't want to fight. But you have to, if you need to, in a city like that, once again, girls, I'm just, I don't feel like, don't, don't fight.

It's not, if you can resolve it in other ways, please do it. - Yeah, that's true. - That's true. - I've only been in like two physical fights

and I'm very proud of that. - Yeah, a lot of people have been in glory. - Yeah, I've been in glory. - Yeah, I've been in glory. (laughing)

- Somebody's clapping for what's good. That's good. - That's good. - I feel like you guys should take the reins now. - That's good.

- No, we love this. We love this. - This is great. (upbeat music) - This episode is brought to you in part by United Airlines.

Chicago's hometown, airline, where good leads the way. So, me, I have to ask. When you're on the plane, come and back to Chicago, and you catch a glimpse of the skyline over Lake Michigan, what comes to your mind?

- That's my favorite part of the flight. I mean, I try to make it a point to stop everything that I'm doing, and make sure that I'm looking out the window, because I don't know about you, but I try to outline where we are.

You know, because the beautiful thing about Chicago, it's a grid system, and it's an easy, one of the easiest cities to get around in,

“and you can sort of track your whole neighborhood, right?”

So, I try to find out, where's the house? Do I see mom's house? Do I see where you guys used to live, even though it's a little bit edot? It's just exciting.

- Have an idea. No, I feel that I feel that same way. Every time I land it over here, there's this specific moment where I just exhale, like, okay, I'm back. This is where it all started.

And even after traveling the world, I still think Chicago is one of the most beautiful

electric cities on the planet, and that feeling never gets old.

Do you have any special feelings about the city like that? - Oh my God, it's the exact same thing. I mean, I have traveled the world, and my heart is still in Chicago. It is one of the most beautiful cities in the world,

the Grant Park, and now Jackson Park, is gonna be just as beautiful, because, you know, shameless plug, but the Obama presidential center is gonna be a part

Of that skyline.

The lakefront is amazing.

I mean, it's just such a livable city. And when it's not freezing cold, which is the summertime, it's alive with so much going on, festivals and art museums and great shopping, and some of the best food you can have.

So yeah, Chicago is still my favorite city in the country. - Probably in the world. - And United is part of that. They've been part of the city for 90 years,

shaped by the same grit and work ethic, Chicago was known for. Mish, what does home mean to you? - I've learned that home isn't about the house here in, it's about the people who were in the house, right?

So we've had to learn, you know, leaving Chicago, our hometown to start a new life in Washington, and living in the White House. And one of my fears was that it wouldn't feel like home,

“but the best thing I learned was that home”

is wherever family is. - Well, Chicago is forever our hometown. And as Chicago's hometown airline, United Airlines can connect you to the world with more destinations than any other airline.

On more new planes with screens at every seat, Bluetooth connectivity and bigger overhead bins. Book your next flight on the United App or at United.com. - Now, your parents were wonderful role models to you. There was a lot of love, but there was a period

where you were going through some contentious times for your mother in particular. Oh yeah, can you talk about that? 'Cause I bet there isn't a girl in this room who isn't mad at their mother, right?

- Yeah, no. - You bet that 60-year-old stuff. - I know, and you know, it was in college really where I once again didn't know what she was trying to protect me from, and that's where we started having issues.

“We were so solid before that, but in college,”

it just felt like she was holding on for dear life where she didn't trust me, and I just didn't understand. I was doing, except I was doing improv, and I wasn't doing drugs, I was, well, I wasn't doing anything. - Yeah, I was doing anything bad.

- I wasn't doing anything illegal, technically. - Yeah, I wasn't doing anything bad. - Everybody else wasn't done. - I was a really good kid, so I just didn't understand. And my mom, and I gotten to it one day after,

when I was getting out of the car, she was dropping me off at a friend's house,

and I just really, I was never disrespectful,

but I asked her, like, what is going on? And what is your deal? Like, you did this, you raised me, you made me who I am, why are you trying to stop? What, you know, is it inevitable?

And you know, I wasn't looking at her as a fool human being. It's kind of something where I'm talking about, like you get to see the full America, therefore you understand it. That's why it's important to learn it.

I wasn't seeing the full picture of my mom. I was just looking at her as a mother, but not as a fool human being who had lost two siblings to drugs and alcohol. And you know, was just trying to protect me

from a rough world, but I just didn't understand, 'cause she was a dancer and everything, and she like lived the life. - Because you, you went to temple, but you lived at home.

You didn't live in the dorms. I, I fell in my way to live in the dorms. - Yeah, you, you, you snuck your way in the dorms. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - I can muted my way, and she just went, 'cause I like what you're wearing.

- I had a, there was a friend who, this, the first day of school, her roommate, I guess dropped out.

I don't know what happened at that girl, but she never,

I hope that girl, but she, we never told the school, and I just moved in. - Oh, my, oh, okay. - I was, I was like a couch surfer, hobo, just moved around campus, date on friends' couches. - I was going to do your parents think you were.

- I would tell them that I was staying on campus, but there was resistance to that, and I was just like, I'm not doing anything. I was watching, do you know the show Tim and Eric? Are you guys familiar?

- No. - What is on my age? I was watching Tim and Eric. - I was watching like SNL and comedy shows with my friends on the couch, but that they were just were not,

my mom in particular was really not happy. We got over that hump, and I'm happy that we did. It took a lot of discussion and communication, because I was determined to have a good relationship with my mother, and she was determined

to have a good relationship with me,

“and I think if two people are just determined to work it out,”

it can eventually work, but it took some time, I mean.

- But I think the point you make

about seeing your parents' whole people. - Yeah.

- I remember distinctly when, we always had a great relationship

with our parents and your close-knit family, all aunts and uncles and cousins, they believed in talking to us about things,

“but I think our parents did the opposite.”

They were kicked us out. They were like, "Go try some things, don't say so close." They had the same fears, but you grow up with your parents and all the adults around you as heroes, right? Because they're so wise, but then one day,

as you grow up, you realize, oh man, that's got some issues. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - And then you... (laughing)

(laughing) - And the same thing I did. - And she wonders why I was the favorite. (laughing)

- But you also see it happening from your kids

when you have kids. - Yeah, yeah. - When you know, yeah, you gotta go through that period. - Yeah. - Were you start growing up?

- Yes, yes. - And then you start realizing what the world has in store. - Yeah. - And what your parents who really struggle and I'm talking to all of you young people here,

who maybe mad or struggling with the adult figures in your lives. It is hard to see those people as real, whole people with a set of fears and challenges and limitations. And a lot of times, parents don't talk about the hard things. - No, I mean, they don't want to, you don't want to.

- But it helps. - It does, yeah. - It helps. But to the parents, defense, sometimes they're just afraid. Totally.

And they're afraid for you because they think you don't know what's coming. - Yeah. - And that's where I thought our parents did a really good job because we found out later how really a freight our parents

was to let us go on trips with a basketball team when you were 13 years old or go out of the country. - Go out of the country for the first time by ourselves. She's in high school, or send you off to a school. I went to high school right around the corner,

here at Mount Carmel High School, mostly white school. I've got a couple of friends here who I've been friends with ever since then. They were afraid of all of that. And I want some of these young girls

and the young people in here to just have a,

you know, we're always talking about giving people grace.

We never give her parents the grace because. - Yes. - And sometimes it's too much, like a mission I always talk about how parents these days try and curate this perfect existence for their children.

- Yeah. - So there is something in the middle there. - Totally. - You can't be too afraid that they can't do anything. And then you can't protect them from everything.

- Absolutely. There's a good book I'm reading. It's a tougher read, but I'm getting through it called the anxious generation. And it speaks to that so, well,

it is speaking specifically to technology, social media. But it's true that each generation is gonna try to create parameters based on what they experience. My parents look, they survived. And I mean, they made their way through the crack error

where they were losing friends. Through the AIDS era, losing friends.

“Watching people disappear left and right, you know what I mean?”

So of course, they're trying to protect their children from the things that they've seen. I'm gonna try to protect my kids from the things that I've seen and they're probably gonna look at me like, I'm crazy because those problems probably still,

they probably won't exist in the same way. But you know, I hope they won't any way. I think the internet is our big, painful thing that my generation doing with, but to your point, though, you're right, how much they're afraid of.

And I realize it more and more as I get older. If you're fortunate enough to get older, you get it. You start to thinking about having kids of your own, or having kids of your own, and you're just like,

"I don't even know how my parents had five children." When my mom's a teacher, I don't know if you guys heard, and they don't make that much. And my dad was managing parking lots. You don't make that much either.

He was a king of parking, but he was still. He was a king, but we're talking about a combined salary of maybe over a little over a hundred grand.

“Five kids, I'm doing all right, I think.”

And I'm still like, if I have one, oh my God,

I can never stop working.

I have to, I don't have my gonna do it. How am I going to do it?

“But that's the thing that we constantly have to remind ourselves.”

Because we talk to young people, like, I don't know if I'm ever gonna have kids, I can't afford it. And, you know, our parents were the same way. My mother didn't work until I went to high school, because she wanted to be home.

She wanted to be involved in a PTA. She wanted to look out for us. She wanted us to be able to come home for lunch. And so that meant we were living off of one. My dad was a city worker, right?

He was a shift worker. And so what that generation did was that they live small. Yes, and then they didn't place a whole lot of value in the stuff we had, and they didn't feel responsible for us having, so they didn't feel guilty, right?

I mean, one of my father's favorite sayings was never satisfied.

Never satisfied. If you had something good on your plate, and you were looking for the next thing, he was like, "See, that's the problem." You know, you got to learn how to be satisfied with what you have.

That's fine and grateful. And social media is kind of put in full work. Oh, boy. All the things you don't have and should want. To your point that my dad, I was on the phone with him two days ago,

and he was talking about what his dream was, he dreamed to have a family that was his dream. And he accomplished it, and then it was keeping that family taking care of no matter what that meant. Working jobs that he didn't want to until he got the one

that was good. And that was so special to me because it was so big to him, seemingly small to other people. And then another point to the internet, and I feel like we're often trying to impress people

who aren't even in our community, who don't even know us. And the way I was brought up, we were a part of a religious community, our neighborhood, our literal neighborhood community. And my dance school was another community.

My father was in the Carpenters Union, and he was a part of a music group. And these were the people we wanted to impress, our actual communities.

“And I think that made for a healthier environment.”

But now that we have gotten into the habit of impressing people who don't even know we exist, it feels like a disconnect between what's really needed at home. And what we think we need to show people. And I'm saying that's not as a judgment,

but it's someone who's grown up through that. And it's now trying to actively reject it. And it's hard, I struggle. I'm like, I have to actively put down this thinking. That's a great point because I was thinking about all the things

I wanted to talk to you about, we're not going to get to all of them. So one of them was, you got your start on the internet before folks were like online like that, right? Can you talk about what you were thinking and how that all evolved?

Because first of all, I'm too old to know,

I didn't really get to know you until I saw Abbott Elementary. And then we started doing the background work. And I was like, whoa, you've been doing stuff for a very long time.

“And at a young age, can you talk about how, what was your mindset?”

How did you say, well, I'm going to do this. And then I'm going to put it online. Was that a plan or was it just sort of an outlet? It was an outlet. I talk a lot about the importance of craft.

I just was practicing comedy. And the internet, I was actually staunchly against it at first. I had zero respect for YouTubers, I thought I was not on board. I respected the stage and I respected writing and television, but I didn't respect the internet.

And then what happened was Instagram, you look, social Facebook, how far back do I go? Yeah, really. It's really hard. My main base was the beginning of, it's so hard.

My base was like, really the beginning of it. But we didn't know what was happening to us. I want to be clear about that. We were just kids using the internet.

We didn't know we were basically being indoctrinated

into our social lives changing forever, right? So that by space happened. And then Facebook happened next in Facebook. This is back when you had to have a college email to sign up for it and that became the second iteration

of you living your life online. It wasn't just your friends in the classroom,

It was your friends here, and when I came to Chicago actually,

I started having friends on Facebook in Chicago,

“which expanded my internet living, you know,”

the beginning of like, I don't know, just a network of people online. And then Facebook had video and I would make really silly videos with my friends for no one. That was the goal.

It was just like, just for me and my friends. And then I started a little teeny talk show on Facebook. None of this is big stuff. It just was kids messing around on the internet. And I would interview someone for silly,

with the first episode of that show, it's when Brock,

he wasn't elected, he was about to get elected. I made a prayer, but I said, Brock, Brock, you rocked my socks. I don't know what else I said, it was so down. I'll show you, but it was so silly just being in the dorm, being silly, and then it expanded to Chicago,

because I would come out here and visit my boyfriend, and he was in a music group, and I interviewed them, and then the series started getting popular on Facebook. And so that was kind of my first way into like, all right, there's something to creating here.

Then Instagram happened. Now, once again, just making silly videos for my friend, this is before you could share,

“because I feel like some of us ain't here, remember?”

It was just for you and your friends. And then I made some silly videos. But then I went to sleep woke up,

and they were getting a lot of comments from people I didn't know.

And looking back, I'm not even sure how, because it wasn't easy to share a video, then there was no share link. I'm not even sure you could like copy the URL to paste and send us on one. So it was a complete word of mouth, and that was really interesting to me. So it was scary, was it exciting?

It was exciting, it was, I didn't know to be scared yet, because once again, it didn't really know what was happening. And did your parents know? No, they didn't even, my parents don't do this day, don't. I don't know how to, you know?

I remember when Melia and Sasha were starting to ask for stuff. And then I was like, I'm supposed to be monitoring this. Yeah, but I don't even know what it is. It's like, give me your phone. No, my dad'd be like, open it.

Now, take me to the site. I don't even know what I'm looking for.

But I'm gonna find it with your help.

That is hilarious. See, this is what I mean, that is hilarious. So no, they had no idea, and then I started making more of those Instagram videos, and they started going viral, and then I would put some of them on fine, which no longer exist, and people would pick about.

All the exactly thing everybody's all like. Oh, fine. It was all just happening, and I was, I was broke. I was working at Apple, but man, I was dead broke. My money went straight to rent.

I had no money, so I was like, when you were in LA. Yeah, I had made it to LA by that point. Yeah. Well, also talk about how you got to LA, because eventually, you just left, like I would secretly stay in the dorms. You're secretly took your little self to LA to live.

I'll talk about that. I knew I wasn't gonna get away with that. I had to tell my parents, I was soft launching it to them. So I went out with LA, I was like, oh, I'm gonna go some of my friends are out there from temple.

They're doing the temple program that they have in LA. I'm doing that. Mind you, at this point, I'm flunking out of college. I had a bad breakup with that. Yeah, the Chicago boy, and it broke me, okay?

Don't do that. Don't do that. I thought I was going back to school, but I was like heartbroken. Yeah. It was a very emotional girl, and just like, was devastated.

And then I was like, I'll go back to school. I am gonna go back to school, but they didn't know at that point that I was like, not doing well. You were undercover flunking. Undercover flunking? You were such a little undercover girl.

I know. Not anymore. That was a hard life to live. I didn't. I didn't like that.

And I wasn't a good liar, so it was, seemed like you were a quinceau. No. I was good at half truths and living what is called a double life.

“So I was never, I wouldn't say my parents like, where are you going?”

I'm going to see some friends from college. I didn't say what college? And I didn't say what friends. So I would get away with it. But then I, yeah, when it came to LA, I kind of went out to test the waters.

Just for a month stayed with a friend. And to see if I could work. So I got to work in the business. Yes. To see if it worked out.

At that point, I knew Chicago. It was going to be like S&L or bust. And I didn't know if that was going to be right for me. And I felt like LA had more opportunities.

I worked.

I took a second city class and I got a lot of PA jobs.

I worked on this show. Oh, Kim Peel, I worked on Kim Peel. Yeah. It's a PA. I missed that in your book.

I don't think you were. I don't know. I did. It was like, it was their first episode, actually. Wow.

And I was a PA. And through that meta producer is a production assistant. And she does a podcast now. She's in the business. Yeah.

I'm just, you know, a lingo PA. I was like, yeah. No. Production assistant. And then I, that producer got me a job on a music video.

Which happened to be Donald Glover's music video heartbeat. And I was, so that was it. I was like, OK, I can do this. I can work out here. The girl stayed with Brittany.

She was a styling assistant. And she couldn't do a job. And she gave the job to me for a woman named Samir Nasser, who now runs Harper. But at the time she was like a traveling stylist.

So I went back to Philly. I said, OK, I need to get a job. And I'm going to make sure it's a job that can move me to LA.

“And that's how I started working at Apple.”

Because I knew that they had a good transfer program. So I worked at Apple for a year. To your tech assistant at Apple. Yeah. I don't know if they exist anymore.

FR and FRS, a family room.

Never been in an Apple store.

I know. Oh, yeah. You had like a big period of your life where you probably couldn't go play. It's easy. Normal human things. Yes.

That's true. You should go. Lovely experience. I probably won't. Probably won't.

Yeah. No. And then I transferred to LA. I did tell my parents at that point. I was like, I am moving.

I'm going to move there. And I just had to present it as a thing of. I'm not asking you. I am. Which was really tough for me.

Yeah. Because I had never really had that experience with my parents before. My mom was an absolute shock. And my dad.

“My dad was only supportive of me in a really unique way.”

He kind of respected my carrying on.

But so he would let my mom do the yelling. But he secretly would be like proud of you. Your thing. Yeah. Did they know he was interested in comedy?

No. You could say that. You were like, I'm not. That point I was telling them. I'm still planning on going to school.

And I was. I was going to transfer to UCLA. I know. But it was a plan. I was going to UCLA.

So it was a full. It was a true. You weren't lying. I wasn't lying. And then I got to LA and work to Apple.

But then those videos started going viral. And I said, I started selling t-shirts with like phrases from the videos on them. I was making more money and I've ever made in my life. And I'm talking $4,000. Okay?

And I'm bowling. Living like a queen. I was taking my friends out to dinner and everything.

“It was immediately crab dinner for everyone.”

It was so cute. And then the money ran out. For the young people. That's not the thing. That you don't do.

Don't do that money ran out. I didn't want to make t-shirts. I was like, I feel like a t-shirt maker. That's my job. Yeah, I don't want to be that.

And so I'd like, I need a job. I started doing stand up in a public appearances. But I didn't want to do public appearances and say my catchphrases on stage. That didn't feel good. And I didn't stand up.

I was good at it. But it was not for me. I knew it wasn't. What up? Yeah.

Um. It. The lifestyle of stand up wasn't for me. I didn't like being that the comedy store. In LA until 2 a.m.

I didn't like who I was becoming. Like I was starting like smoke cigarettes and stuff. Just to hang out. And I just it just wasn't for me. I respect stand up.

Yeah. And people were very good at it. And that is like their thing. But I felt. But it is a tough life.

Tough life. And I didn't feel like it was my version of story telling. I always say that. I didn't want to be singular. My personal experiences.

I really enjoyed fictional worlds and narrative pieces. So then I got a job. I said it's time to get a job. So I started working at Buzzfeed at the time. And that was a life saver.

It was. Great pay. A wonderful opportunity from me to talk about Buzzfeed. Buzzfeed was this. It's still like this.

It's still like this. But not like it did in his head. Yeah. I joined at the beginning of his head. Where we were producing videos for the internet.

That were like it was relatable content, taste, test, et cetera.

I kind of came in and helped build the narrative department.

So scripted videos. That was just like a dream come true. I sold shows. I learned how to sell shows there. How to.

It's one thing to make a show. To actually sell it to a platform. And so I learned how to do that.

I made incredible relationships.

“A lot of my friends from Buzzfeed currently work on Abbott.”

My friend Kate. My friend Justin. My friend Gary. It, their, lifelong lessons there. And there, there are a lot of people who did not have good experiences.

And their experiences are valid. I, I'm not one of those people. But I also think I looked at it as for what it was. It was a job for me. Yeah.

And a lot of those kids were like coming out of college. And that was their first job. Right. And they didn't. You had had bad jobs.

I had had bad jobs. I had worked at friendlies. I worked at American Eagle. I worked at a dance. I worked at the YMCA in LA.

And that was a wild experience. It just, I had some jobs. I worked at a call center for my school. I worked at a sex phone center because I was that broke one time. Yeah.

I had ponded all my stuff at a point in LA. Just to say they're like everything I had. And so I was like, this is a job. I get that. Even working at Apple.

I understood a job. So for me, that's another thing about, you know, just for kids. Like taking some time to try on some things when it comes to work. Yeah. You got to work the paper.

You got to work to, you know. Yep. So you have all these experiences. So by the time you get to Buzzfeed, you're kind of an adult. I'm an adult and super appreciative.

I have 401k benefits. Right. By the time I left there, I was making six figures.

I couldn't, I never even saw that happening for myself.

I was treated with respect with, especially in media. I mean, they let me do stuff that I don't that nobody was letting. No black girl do anywhere else at the time, you know. And when I would even ask them why it would, they were like, because you're good at it. Yeah.

But that, that was so, I'm so grateful for that. That was, that was huge for me. This episode of IMO is brought to you by Chase Home Lending. When you're thinking about buying a home, it's a major decision. A mix of excitement, nerves, and a lot of questions.

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“And I just want to get a feel for you, D-D-D. Did you think that all those tribulations you went through?”

Good bad was a better to fail and figure out how to do it right, or if you can avoid fail. And this is for the young people out here who think that, you know, you just sat here and didn't bump in here. I'm at the award show to pick it up my awards.

Pick it up your third, Amy.

Well, you know, I love that question because sports is how I look at everything and, oh, Lord. I know I'm sorry. Yeah, please. I know that you're out of the two sports fans up here. I am one of them, and I like sports.

Don't I do? And I just like, I just watched actually not save the last dance. The last dance again? Yeah. The Michael Jordan documentary. Yeah.

Oh, God. Right. That kind of look at greatness is what I, that's my jam. I, every failure is just motivation, and it's just a part of the bigger picture.

And so I have not considered anything I've ever done ever a failure, and I never will.

It's not that. Yeah. You know, it's just part of the bigger picture. Even when I was folding pants at American Eagle, that was a part of getting me here today. When I had to pawn all my stuff, that would have been a lot of people's down moment.

But for me, I'm like, this is just part of the, part of the, part of the, this, I now look back. I had to ride past that place recently where I, where I sold my computer, which that was big. It was all I had. Yeah. I sold on my clothes at that point for nothing, mind you.

I mean, I didn't have like good clothes. They were from, like, wet seal. They had a lot of money. Oh, yeah. They were, I didn't get anything for them. So that computer was a big deal. And then, but I've rolled past that place the other day. And I was like, wow, like, I'm so grateful that I can ride past and that I have that moment to see how far I've come.

So I just think. I don't, yeah, I mean, like, I was talking about that documentary because they had that, that moment where the bulls lost to. The jazz. And that could have been the, it could have been the end of Michael Jordan as we know it. And it wasn't. It was, will be back next year.

And that's part of the journey now. And I'm coming for you.

“And I think that's how I kind of look at things.”

And even Abbott, I don't know, there was point where I was like, I don't know if I ever have another good idea after Abbott. Really? I did because it was, it seemed so big. It is. I wrote still it showing. And then I was like, well, all right.

Then as we've gone through it, I was like, oh, this is a piece of a larger pu...

I don't know quite what's in store.

I know some things, but it is part of something big. But somebody else, it's big to us and big to me. There are people who could look at, I know it's crazy to think, having a show on network TV. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm around people like that every day.

It is nuts to me. It's nuts. So that's satisfied. Exactly. And that's where gratitude comes in for me.

It's major. It's. Well, that's something you also remember as you ascend. You know, you start realizing that this constant pursuit of something outside of yourself for people who haven't figured that out.

They're never satisfied.

You know, I've probably said it, said it every powerful table.

“There is, you know, from grammar school to the G summit, right?”

You see the same people at the table with the same issues. You know, it doesn't matter how much money they have, how much power they have. You know, if they haven't figured out this piece, you know, if they haven't figured out their process, their purpose in life, and it's so hard for kids to believe this, but they're not happy. You know, and some people that are constantly grasping it more, the trillion air, the you meet these people.

And they're, they don't, they don't know how, they don't know how to build anything else except for wealth. So they're empty, right? Totally. And it's fascinating to see as someone who spent a lot of time working on making sure this was straight to watch some people that everyone knows and loves are hollow. Yeah.

Hollow, man. Like any, you talk to them and little like you feel like you can see right through them. It's like, I don't even know I'm having a conversation with you. I see what it's just nothing in there. And I was watching one of my defining decoms, Disney Channel original movies the other day.

And to come on one second.

This was that for me. Oh, yeah. Would you have old people like that? That I guarantee that's somebody else. I don't know how to turn it off.

I don't know how to turn it off. And I go, Jesus. We have a just talking about social media. Oh, can't it to a young person? They don't do the phone off.

“But do you guys remember the movie "Bring"?”

The dad and that movie says something. That was that hit me so hard. And this Disney Channel original movie. But he tells the brain who's a skater and all he cares about is skating and shredding. And his dad's like, you know, skating is what you do.

It's not who you are. He says he lost his job to dad in the movie and he was a construction form. And he said he used to introduce himself is, hey, I'm a construction form in such and such. Almost like who he was. Was the job first.

And then he falls off ladder and hurts himself and he had to find himself again. And I really stuck with me because I'm going through that with my career right now. My job is not who I am. It is my work. I do care about it very deeply.

But I think it's important. I mean, I know people who teachers who care about their job very deeply. And a bus drivers who care about their job very deeply. But it's not who I am.

“Who I am is a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend.”

You know, just who are you and no one's looking. And these are not just words. It's really the truth about life. Yes. And it's like the the sooner that you young people understand that.

Just sort of believe that truth. You know, then you can start building life from there. Right. We've got to get rid of social media. I don't know what to do.

I just, I have it. But I don't know. Or let's vote in like somebody who's built your career on. So can you talk about how you think about it? Yeah.

To destroy the very thing that created. Back before even, you know, Twitter became X. I used to be, I used to have dreams of going to Twitter and pulling the plug out of the headquarters. I'm so serious. Yeah.

I could feel in real time the negative effects that it was starting to have on my peers, on my people. Yeah. Not to even mention the younger generation. They got a number done on them for real.

Because I at least lived life before the internet, you know, internet and come into my life as a social platform until I was like 17. Right. It is.

It's a doozy.

I don't know.

“It's got people thinking that fame is a goal.”

That like I don't even understand what influence is in the absence of anything behind it. Yeah. You haven't built anything. You're just sort of selling somebody else's stuff. It has its benefits for sure.

I do think the negatives are outweighing the benefits. And so there was a recent case. So that, you know, it was going to be interesting.

Where finally someone got to court and proved, hey, same effects the cigarettes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can't keep living like this. And I know we all like joke about the algorithms.

But it's really not funny that you can. You can manipulate somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know. That you have that. And yeah. People's habits. The notion that a lot of these programs are using the same.

Yeah. To get people to continue to gamble. And he has lots of the same sounds and the sights and the noises and the repetition. Yeah. It's just important for kids to understand that because it all looks so good because the,

the, the allure of fame and notoriety in the community. That's another, I think more than fame. It's been this allure of community. Yeah. And I think there's, there's issues with that.

It's now been scientifically proven that there isn't issue with you thinking your community is. People you don't know. 10,000 people you don't know and have no connection with in person and even, you know,

for children to be growing up in the first people they are talking to.

Yeah. Our people they don't know. I told, I would tell the girls that when they started getting into it. I was like, you would make the same point out. They were right up the cusp and they're like you.

They are so glad that they were just right on it. Yeah. That it's not like part of their ecosystem. Sasha being the youngest is probably a little more into it. But, you know, you look up and she, you know, it's like,

I got a thousand friends. I was like, I know you don't. I mean, there is, you don't, you don't know. I know these people and I was like, no, you don't.

“And I said that the thing you have to understand is like, now you have a thousand people who have access to you.”

You know, and when you're coming up an hour or a day when it was black and white TV and we used to walk to school in our bare feet. But in order for you to have people to have access to you, they had to call a phone. Right? And your mother or parents would answer. And the person calling you would have to communicate and say hi. My name is X is such and such there.

And by doing that, your parent was alerted.

Oh, such and such is in my child's life. Yeah. Now I am cognizant of who my child is dealing with. You might say, well, who's such and such. Tell me about that person, right?

Now that buffer, that is necessary a protection, just a parent going, somebody is calling my kid. Now you don't have it. And the fun, I'm so sorry. No, no. The interesting part about this conversation is a lot of parents of that time.

They were trying to protect their kids from outside. Outside was getting crazy. Yeah. So it was really safe if you were on the family computer doing something. But they had no clue.

They were trying to protect us from the outside. But now we know. That court case, what they're proving, which is, no, they know what they're doing. They are getting your kid addicted. That's what that proof of cigarettes.

No, no, no, no, no. The marketing. Joe Campbell is like a cartoon. That's the right thing.

“What have ever thought watching loads of TV would have been better for you?”

I know. I'm a big supporter of television. Yes. So we were TV kids. We were TV kids.

Yeah, I was like a TV kid. I mean, I love, I just love TV. You know, I was talking to my wife and my kids about this show. And we all, like, so you got 16 year old, 14 year old, and adults all watching TV again, which had, had, had stopped happening.

Everybody's sort of binge watching everything. I was dying to ask you to watch TV. You know, I was watching TV. You know, I was watching TV. You know, I was watching TV.