Side Stories: Muyuns & Monsters

That's one of the cannibalism started.

Side stories. Yes. You like this? Yeah. This doesn't make sense to me.

That you like this.

“Like his entryway to it was the Malaysian voice.”

Oh, well that's really good. But I like it. But now I like the song. Is it an old song or a new song? No, it's brand new song.

Yeah, they did this version.

This is the better version.

No, I understand. I'm not a singer, but I'm a singer. On this face is nothing I can do. That's the closest I got, man. Yeah, that's cool.

Can't you, man? I don't know. Like that song, I like that song sung by the Malaysian triple voices, the Muayun Brothers. I believe that sounds pronounced. Those are the Muayun Brothers.

They're all the way from Central Ohio, Malaysia. They should be called the Blumen, Muayun. This is just, they're only wearing the flower outfits for this one song. I've played this on the stream several times. It's the one video I sent to our mutual friend, Billy Wing, Davis over and over again.

And now what's happened is I played this on the stream. Yes. You weren't there for it? I wasn't there. He was the one he wasn't there for it.

Oh, I was like, man, I was like, I really do check out the song. I was like, wow, I was impressed by myself. No, no, no, you're a forced, I made you at least acknowledge some of my little Asian men. But then I found myself liking the original song non-ironically. It went from the little Malaysian, because the Malaysian boys, the triplets are probably

30, but they look like their little toddlers, which is, again, my favorite type of person. Yeah, I like them better than any other type of person. I like you to appear as a toddler and be able to smoke that is if you can appear as a toddler, be able to smoke, have a conversation with me and we can go drink together, you're my favorite person in the world.

Having a little Malaysian boy, man, pop right up on the shoulder, like a parrot, you would love them. You would make me happier that I have his little hooked feet, you can't buy one, you cannot buy one, Henry. I will, I do understand the Mooyun brothers need to be purchased as a group, and that is fine.

I will provide the Mooyun brothers. I have one room that they can stay in, which I'm certain will be far more luxurious than

“what they're used to, and I think that I can really show them the town.”

I think it'd be me, the Mooyun brothers, fucking Tuchuki, we could go out there and just take over Los Angeles, okay, at the blue note. You like it, it makes you very happy. Why do you need to go to the blue note? We could book the blue note.

Meaning the Mooyun brothers, at the minus second, you're going to do the blue note without

me. Unfortunately yes. Fortunately, it's the Mooyun brothers. I'm going to have to teach them the Ella Fitzgerald song book. Okay, you gotta take the net, take on the tin horn flats.

No. Well, they don't have flats, does need the Mooyun jump. Exactly. So we'll see you guys over next week. So once I get the paperwork done for them, they got to get their shots, and they could

do that.

“The package, then I believe they do have to go underneath the plane.”

Oh, and the Ella Langley choosing Texas video does star Luke Grimes from Yellowstone. I was correct. It's really interesting because it also has another actual, what's it, a cowboy rider, a cowboy rider, a bull rider. A bull rider?

Yeah, there's a guy in there. There is a real bull rider. Then he talks about how he's like, you could deal, men tend to be from the country because they don't fold their head right. And it's like, bro, just leave me the fuck alone.

I'm from Los Angeles. Yeah, Wade Bowen, maybe? I don't know. Who fucking cares? Cowboys.

That's okay.

That's a real bull rider. Oh, yeah. He looks like it. Yes. He's a real bull rider.

“And he probably, honestly, he probably gave that little country lady the rider.”

Like, I don't know. I feel like he's got his mouth wrapped around Taylor Sheridan. Oh, yeah. He did. Gotta keep him warm in the cold.

Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I am sitting here with the illustrious immune to country music at Larson. I love country music. You don't like a song?

I don't care about the song. I need to learn about it more before I decide.

I can't like something on my first listen.

She's choosing to understand something a little more. I'm so far, I don't really like it, but things grow on me. I'm a stargile man. I know. But stargile real country.

I like, you know, this is like real country. But this is like pop country. Yeah. I like piracy musgraves. No.

That's as far as I'll go as maybe I'll listen to some of it. This part of me doing this is because this is great, by the way. Yes. I'm happy you're music. My therapist, I was talking with my therapist about my not recent, but it seems to

be overbuilding what I've seen to be calling like rage episodes that I've been experiencing on and off since I was born. So he puts the piss to the therapist. Yep.

“And he told me this week was that anytime I think of something bad, right?”

And for some bad, like let's say I'm deep in a violent fantasy about what I want to do to various people that I consider to be villain and surround me in a circle. Yeah.

And then every time I want to do something like that, when I was in a new gym enemy, we all

know, the audience knows. Yeah. And when I fantasize out loud about what I want to happen, right? And the way I think that encounters will go, my therapist said pause. And you go into, it's because right your anger feels good.

Yeah. Right your anger feels good, but also afterwards I feel tired, Eddie. Of course. Because I'll feel with right your anger. You can't get mad all the time.

I mean, you know, you can't, I physically can't. So you'll die. He says to turn to nice things. So every single time I experience pure rage, I'm supposed to then put on something that's really nice.

So you're therapist, when you complained and said you're going through fits of rage and thinking about murdering someone, now murderer, you said you wish your hands were knives earlier. I said that. I was kind of an extended fun idea about how nice it would be if my hands were indeed blades.

And I could experience the cutting of the flesh on my own. You don't even notice and he said, think of something nice. He said, pet the dogs. Pet the dogs.

“He said, when you're in that head space, you should pet the dogs.”

I feel like you have to fire this man.

No, he's really good. Look at how much I'm healed already. Already. Speaking of, that's what the dogs are healed. No, no, they're actually quite not trained.

No. I do whatever the living fuck they want to do. Yeah. I got to do puppy at the house if anyone needs a fucking puppy. Yeah.

He's trying to get rid of this dog. I got to get rid of this puppy. So, anyone needs a puppy. He's real cute. His name's Murphy.

And he was supposed to go to another foster house on Wednesday. And they're like, nah. You got it. Yeah. Turned down.

He's a bit of my house. We're not a puppy house. Oh, he's squinty. Really. He's just squinty.

He's just squinty. He's very. I don't know what he is. He looks like a yellow lab corgi mix. If I had to guess, but I still don't know what he is.

But he's very cute. That's it for a puppy. He's very sleepy. And so I think that's very good. But let's move him on out.

A Gmail.com. You want to take that back? [email protected]. And also, I have three Malaysian men that probably, that honestly lied about their age. They really need to get out of my house.

Now that I have brought them over, I'm going to just found they are a little bit more mature than I want them to be. And they're leaving cigar ash everywhere and stay burnt. They burnt Natalie with the end of one of their stogies. And I think they've got to stop.

They came in. They killed the fish. They ate it. They made a bunch of blood soup. And now I can't get them out of my house.

They're not taught. They're not taught. There's they are full grown men. And I hope you love the song. Choosing texts.

You know, because it's the only one they know in English. I was thinking of like, you know, new plays on words when I was doing nothing. I just thinking of looking at the wall. And if there was a didler named Todd, would he be a toddler? Yes.

Thank you. I feel like we can start to show now. Thank you. Yeah. Now let's start.

Well, the new side stories. My name's Henry Zabrowski. We've been warming up. Getting ready to talk on their show.

Man. Four money.

“And I will split 10% of it with them to hopefully fund.”

They need a new, they need a home and they have to move as a group. And then they need a shoes. Yes. They need a shoe. Yeah.

Because they were their tap dance and too hard. Yeah. They're very good.

They have a million followers on TikTok.

They have a million followers on TikTok. They have a million followers on TikTok. They have a million followers on TikTok. They have a million followers on TikTok. No, the million brothers are unstoppable.

You know, who doesn't have a million followers on TikTok. You guys got to get in there. You got to go to LPOTL.Kizwe.com to watch the stream. We have a couple more days left. We have a couple more days left.

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We always used to be a thing.

And guys used to masturbate collectively. We also don't guys do that traffic in C-SAM. They will do a lot of times. One thing I did not actually found interesting is They ship them in unicef envelopes.

What? Yes. They go in and take unicef envelopes and volunteer. Like you give to, like that's where they hide C-SAM when they mail it. Really?

Yes. It is very... I don't think that it's the poor operation. I just think that it's the idea that it'd become an identity. It's this idea that every single thing now has to be your literal brand.

“But also, I think the main reason that they're doing it at the dollar general,”

at the family tree, at the dollar tree, at the family dollar, is because those companies are not holding anyone accountable. Exactly. That is the problem. Because if you do this at a publics, you'll get fucking beat to death.

But if you do this at the dollar general,

you report it and it doesn't go on notice. They literally, there's women reporting this happening to them. They'll go tell someone and they'll hear, "Oh, we got another one." And that's literally how they deal with this thing.

They don't care because they do think of it as a local issue, and they don't understand that they are filming it and putting on the internet and it's monetizing. They're also all egging each other on to do it. They're all building groups and they're talking about doing it.

They know which ones to hit. They know the literal schedules of managers. They know where to go. They are, they've been, they orchestrated. It's a part of the gooning.

The thing with the business model of the dollar general is that they eliminate employees more and more. And so you will have a situation. There'll be a dollar general in a, not so great neighborhood,

“and there'll be one employee locking up at night.”

It's extremely dangerous that employee already. And now they're being targeted by come artists. Well, it's why we should probably get rid of all of the human staff. We got to get rid of the human staff, displaces, and staff them with robots with artillery weapons.

Yes. But this is the problem. Is that no one wants to know about it? Nobody wants to know about it. No one knows properly how to deal with it.

Besides literally beating the living shared out of each one of them, which we should probably start doing. Also, I go to a Starbucks the other day. There's a cop in the corner watching security. How come there's no fucking security at the dollar general,

where things are arguably much more dangerous? I saw, they cost a lot of money, Eddie. Yeah. Yeah. They refuse to keep people safe at these place.

Well, they don't want to pay because it's a dollar tree, and they have decided that also poor people deserve this type of atmosphere. Yeah. That's the idea, is that they know that poor people will have a hard time wanting to get involved and call the police

and do all of these things because it got for bed.

“They got for their fucking immigrant or a whole thing.”

So it's like, yeah, do you at all work? Stay up to decide. This is a symptom of a systemic issue. Yeah. This is not about porn.

No, it's not. No, this is a bigger issue. This is a whole and society that has been unchecked for fucking many years. Dollar tree, dollar stores have been ruining our fucking country for a very long time.

They create food deserts. They move multiple in. Next to God damn grocery stores in the middle of rural areas. They put the grocery stores out of business and then people got to drive 50 miles for fucking lettuce

that now has the coal iron. Well, listen, hey, the purple lettuce gives me time to spend, I love being alone. And it's also really nice. I need to lose about 10 pounds.

And it's easy that way. Yeah. Um, this is, but they're, they're, they're taking steps.

They're taking steps.

They're doing something now that it's become national news.

They should have been national news, a fucking year and a half ago, when it started. But people have been too scared to report it. They have it underpaid. You know, I'm making fucking what?

$10 an hour. What's the minimum wage right now?

“And then you're supposed to stop someone from jerking off on a grandma?”

That's kind of what they say. You know what I hear too, which I think is like, it's fucked. They're like, as you could see, he was pleasureing himself for a while outside of the register. And then he went and he was jerking himself off over

by the security officers and you're watching video of staff making minimum wage or less. It's a 15 year old girl. Literally just trying not to look at the masturbating man. That's what they're trying to do.

They're not going to be police officers. I remember when I worked for fucking borders. The way they talked about us trying to like, they're like, don't you even hesitate. The tackle somebody running out of here with a book.

And it's like, fuck you. It's a book. Fuck you. You got not to a Jackson. The book should be the one thing you're allowed to steal.

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's what he did. That's what he did. We got to this fucking place in the beginning. Look at him.

It's all Eve's fault. Yeah. This is what all this was. This is from the very beginning. This is the kind of shit that happens on subways.

Like every day. Yeah. Like they just people just don't talk about it. But subways got cops. Yeah.

True. But like, and they have a true journey. There's so many times that we dealt with cops. We got many people jerked off at us. Yeah.

Yeah. We did. But you see that. And that was before goaning. Yeah.

They just did it for the love of the game. Those were yeah. Those guys that didn't know they were going in. Before was monetized. They were like, all done.

There's a name for what I do. What do you mean? I do. I belong. There's a community.

You mean to tell me. There's somewhere for me to go. I need to get out of the sewer. It's a joint society. I do.

I do. They put their pee. Yeah. I do. They put their pee in the shelter.

They're choosing goon. No, yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. So in that way, it does give a home for them.

Yeah. So if, like, if someone goes home on their lunch break, and jerks off for the entire hour and doesn't come. Is that going to have a gooner? That's what I would say.

Yeah. Grab a three more two knee gooner. Yeah. That's where drunk to finish. I'm fucking terrified of this shit.

Of course you're terrified of this shit because when it comes down to it, if some guy whips his dick out, I'm going to fuck it. I'm going to freak out on him. I'm going to throw this shit out of him. But then I'm going to think about my dogs.

Yeah. I'm before he's going to pull out his penis at me. I'm going to think to do fucking attack his penis,

but the first thing I'm going to think of.

Moe Union brothers wouldn't want that. No, you're right. The Moe Union brothers. You don't even realize it's on your outside sometimes. And you look on your legs.

Oh, yeah. She got spattered with comments. She sought into outside because she was just like, I couldn't become. And then she realized it indeed was. Yeah.

“And that's why, you know, none of this is none of this.”

No one deserves any of this. No. None of this staff deserves it. None of the people, the registers, the none of the people. The fucking store deserve it.

And they need to find the CEO of fucking dollar general. And time to occur. I'm sure I'm just going to show up and fucking jerk off over him. Nothing would make me happier. Honestly, if there was a place I could pay money to jerk off on the legs of a CEO

of a dollar store. Oh, my God. That would do so much for me. On this guy, they got a picture of him. Look, yeah, they got the back of him.

They didn't get the real picture of him. Yeah, no, he fucking. He's been happening. Fucking crazy. They're like, so I open him.

Right? I pretty got to set guy and not some random man that happened to be there. And it shut his belt. Because that's another problem too. If that you have to catch that script, man, it could be anybody.

I could be anybody. You have to fucking catch them as they are coming, which is hard. Because you're in shock. If we can't get pictures of UFOs, how we're supposed to get pictures of Gunners.

Exactly. Well, at least they, you know, they don't have reflective things on them. You know, we had to get to easier to get a picture of a Gunner.

“I think, all right, body cams for everybody.”

Yeah, done. Done. Thank you. Thank you. I was trying to get him there.

At least dollar store employees should have body cams. Oh, god. That's a mess. That's a fucking dystopian shit. Honestly, though, I will say, if I see metaglasses anywhere near me, I'm going to

fucking slap him on your face. Don't you fucking. I can't tell. You can tell. I have anybody that is wearing glasses that look like they're from.

This is, this is the advice. They are glasses that look like they are from an LMFAO. Uh, concert. I feel like anyone who glasses who chooses to walk up to me and start talking to me is wearing metaglasses.

Didn't you tell them? They look like this. They look like fake parties, store glasses. So when you wear them, they look extremely like they look like a extremely cheap sunglasses.

They always have a little, a little dot on the side.

Okay.

They're trying, which is like they're making more and more subtle every day.

Yeah. Oh, rape in makes them. Yeah, rape in makes them. Oh, come on. Raiden is, rape in.

These are cheap for the normal rape. Yeah, they are. That's right.

“Yeah, because it's made up plastic to piece of shit.”

And guess what? They have a camera in it. How is it cheaper than a normal rape? Because they make it on cheaper material. I don't need more companies to hit.

I am up to fucking here with companies. I got a hate. I'll give you a list of. Honestly, I can give you a list. That's what I did.

I looked up. There are certain things that I got into the realm of because I'm a man with no children. Where I looked up independent sunglasses. I was doing glass stores that have nothing to do with these big giant companies. Yeah.

I looked up independent clothing stores that have nothing to do with the giant clothing

mills. This has been $400. I might as well give it to some jerk off. Exactly. But that's the thing.

You give it to somebody who actually hand makes it. A lot of those places have. So I've got a lot of these jerk off random sunglasses. Yeah, it's how you're fault. Yeah.

But you know. He's just striking out nothing to do. He's just lashing. That's where you got to think. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're starting to get me out of here. All right.

Here we go. Let's go. This is an interesting. Another interesting story.

I just want to bring to the forefront.

Okay. We'll get into this. Which is a case that is currently going on a hand over pencil vein. You're right now. All right.

A local witch. I know how the better term.

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I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

“I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.”

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

“I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.”

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein.

I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. I'm going to get a hand over pencil vein. It's an important historical document that has nothing to do with my day-to-day actions. It's nothing to do with the goddamn law.

That's for sure. Every single time I sit in there doesn't mean I have to fucking believe it. This week's episode we covered Pertharianism. And it's the same thing. The reason why Pertharianism got as far as it did is because of our natural inclination

in the United States of America to be polite about other people's religious beliefs. And not immediately say, "That's fucking stupid.

“You need to shut the fuck up because we want to be open to people's belief systems."”

But the problem is that it leads to stuff like Pertharianism.

And which enough people said it was real that it caused enough fucking traction to get it to kill five people. Yeah. So it's no ideas wrong. I don't believe in the concept of a wrong ideas. But it's how we pluriferate them and how we talk about them and how we need it.

It's that idea of like I'm just not taking you seriously just because you think you're fueled by Christ. Yeah. I can't stand churches. I would wish that they were all gone. Every church in the public house for human beings to just freely enter.

That's what it should be. I understand. But here's the other side of it. I think you have the right to exist. Yes.

And so because you have the right to exist. And just because I don't like you doesn't mean that I don't think you have the right to exist. That's called new ones. I just think you suck. Yeah.

I just hate you. Yeah. And I won't go anywhere near you. But guess what? This is United States of God in America.

And you're allowed to do your dumb shit over there. Yeah. So don't you fucking come and tell me I can't do my dumb shit over here. Fuck you. Yeah.

Keep it to your goddamn self. Yes. And then we got these motherfuckers. These these crazy ass religious zealots trying to fucking come for the minion movie. They're saying that the minions use evil.

They use evil shit inside of there. They're like rituals. Or whatever. I think he's called banana. So apparently spoil the alert for the new minion movie.

But apparently in the new minion movie. It's an old Hollywood movie. It's a prequel. And they're trying to make the trying to come because the minions were huge during the trial and error, which is hilarious concept to me. And then once it moves into the

talkies, they like kicked out of the business of Hollywood. Can I honestly ask a question? What does that mean when you mean? Like what is you? What do you even describing?

I'm describing the plot of the new minions to monsters movie. But what? How? What? So in the original?

They came from the movie.

Dispickle will me, right? Yes. Where they were his assistants. I think they're slaves. Now, they're slaves.

I'm giving them a little island. I think. No. Okay. They were stolen.

They're still here. They're still here. They did. Yeah. But this is my question, right?

So minions were the slaves of the guy from Dispickle, but me who were supposed to like keep no real slaves. Yes. They were Steve Krell slaves. They then were then independently actors back in the day apparently.

I haven't seen the movie. That doesn't make any sense. I thought that they were just slaves. At this point, it's just making random garbage for people to enjoy.

“Are the minions not actively serving the Nazis as well?”

They could have? Do they know a part of the pogroms? They, I think, there is no. Did minions help Stalin? Not slaves apparently.

They're volunteers. Oh, that's fun. How much is he fucking paying? Ask Joggle? Well, they'll dress the same.

Oh, we've volunteered to be like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They get on them.

No. They're like they're saying. They look the door to their fucking cabin at night. Well, but none of them means freehand. So they, they actually did put some sort of a story element in it.

So that the minions were not around during the reign of Adolf Hitler. That is, we're, we're not around during the time he's being great. Yeah. Just don't, you get pick and choose. You get pick and choose.

They are evil or they're saying that they would have been not. They were stuck in an ice cave between the years of 18, 12 and 1968. Oh, wow. Oh, my God, that is the, that is fucking what that is. That is true.

That is true. They knew they would be not. You can't just take them out. They're not available for the job. Doesn't mean they're not Nazi.

Guess we'll see that be. In Afghanistan with Osama bit Laden. Yes. Guess they were also be. They're definitely an ISIS.

There are so many there's a 764.

“Well, if they were, if they were, they would have changed it to nicest.”

But not not. - Nah. - No, I'm gonna be back. - Go back to that. (laughing)

- Silly, stupid, stupid, stupid. - No, no, no, no. - I hate the minions without being scared of them somewhere in summoning a kathulu baby. - I hate they cheat to go go back.

- I'm not detailed at all. - I hate the nonsense talk. - This says they psychologically need to help evil people. They will suffer a form of depression if they don't. That's a great concept.

That's really funny. It's like the candelabra from a beauty in the basics for fucking, he's a rapist. - Pol Pot. - Yeah, Lumiere, Lumiere is fucking raping those dusters.

- Those are good. There it is.

- How he never set one of them on fire,

either is beyond me. - There is an expose on Netflix on its way. - Dude, all right, so Lumiere. - Lumiere. - That's a fucking duster on fire

when he's fucking raping it, all right. - They, then the goddamn beast who is a captor, keep it going, right? - Keep it going. - They fall as in love with his,

with his, I guess, prisoner Bell. And then everyone gets turned back into human. That duster is covered in fucking burn scars. That's what I'm saying. - Dude, he's gotta take permanent fucking damage.

- Lumiere, Lumiere, he's too step in. - Yeah, agree with it, you know I agree with you. - Well, you know, kill 'em all. So, don't listen to anyone tells you not to see them. Don't go see the minion movie because it sucks.

- Just get, just don't see the minion movie. (laughs) It's feeling your supplements, you can give kids these days, it's not going like that. (speaking in foreign language)

- God, imagine reading anything else? - Imagine reading the script. (speaking in foreign language) - Yeah, you know, how many actors are just fucking, that's, I mean, it's a huge game though.

I would nothing please hire me. - Yeah. - Please hire me to go. (speaking in foreign language) - I'll do whatever you want.

- You'd be a great minion. (speaking in foreign language) (laughs) - Just cast the cast of the heck. - Equal.

(speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - Goomy. - Goomy. - Okay.

- Tray Parker did that specifically. - George Lucas isn't it? - Yeah, plays himself. - Everybody, every director needs to be in a movie now. - Yeah, they do.

- That fuck is good.

“- I think he did it like for his grandkids, I think.”

- Tray Parker also did it because his kids begged him. Because he said no one ever asked him to do anything

and they finally, they were like,

they were like, should I do the minion movie? And his kids were like, "Man, yes, man!" And he's just like, "I made some of those important parts "and he's a character of all time. "Man, yes, man, yes!"

- He's gonna make so much money. - Yeah, yes, he's fine. Let's just say he's fine. - He loves the strippers. - There's baby Kofulu.

- Get out of here. (laughing) - Come on, I agree. - You know what I agree with the Christians? (laughing)

I agree with the Christians, I hate that fuck. I hate it. You know what? It is an abomination. I hate 'em.

- They're ripping off lovecraft.

I mean, you would talk about,

I mean, he's racist. - That's fun though. - Yeah, he was interesting. (laughing) That's interesting.

- Are you ready to go? We got this next story. This comes off of what we were talking about about this fucking, the concept of wearing a diaper to go to the front of a concert,

look, the front of the place, I was shocked at how many people were fine with it. - We got a lot of people wrote it and said they did it. - They like, they do that. That's customary.

- Yeah. - And it's like so common that it's like everyone's again. People were diapers all the time to the front. - I totally knew this and you didn't, which cracks me up.

I feel like this is something that you would be in the level with. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that disgust. - Yeah, bombapoo, man. - That's disgust.

“- I'm also one of those, because I think I have”

a little bit of social anxiety, so I'm not,

I don't like being up close. I like being in the back. - Yeah. - I don't like being up front. I don't feel them trapped in the front that scares me.

You know, Henry only goes to like the celebrity running on the side of the state. - I go to the state. - I try to go to ignore it. - I think that's fine.

- I go there, but I also try to go below. - I like go to the back. - Yeah. - I like being in the back. - I just, I get scared in there.

I don't like being there. - I'm not trying to be in there. - I'm not trying to be in there. - I want being in there. - I'm out of the loop.

- It's not for me, man. I don't want, I don't want getting hit. I'm lost, I did my time, I'm out. - Yeah, I'm done, I'm out. But this is disgusting.

This came from ban called, some of them went to go see Devil's Ken in the sister city to my hometown, Danaden, New Zealand. - Which I find interesting. - Daneden. - Daneden?

- Daneden is technically the neighborhood right next to where I'm technically where my family is in Florida and that is wondering why I knew the fucking name. - Yes. - Daneden is the-- - That's right.

- And sister city, yeah. - That's right. They drink hard and Daneden. It's Florida. They don't like their families.

“- I went for breakfast in Dunedin at a both the most popular breakfast spot and then the only way”

I could get in is if I sat at the bar, which is just like a table at the end of the fucking building. - Yeah. - And I was saw the poor in those drinks. It was all vodka.

- Let's just say-- - It was early. - Let's say Florida's real loose with drinking all day and driving concepts. - Everyone was driving at that place. Everyone was drinking hard.

- I've never seen, I've worked in the bar industry for almost 20 years.

I ain't never seen drinking like that. - You know why? - It's because you don't have the guts to take it upon yourself to get your family home safe because those morning drinks don't count. - It's juice.

- Okay. - Orange juices in it. There's juice in it. - You're right. - You're right.

- They're getting healthy. - They're getting their vitamin C. - You're all fortified. You're ready to go. That's not alcohol in that way.

- You're right. - It's alcohol different. For them, that sort of allows them to drive. - Yeah, that's wake up juice. - Yes.

- Yeah. - It was 'cause of the shakes from the night before. - Yeah. - So, this person, someone who went to this concert in Devilskin, Damian Radburned. He told stuff that they all realized they smelled as smell, it was a poo like smell.

And they said that they were all in the front, and all of a sudden he noticed that a man in front of him did the patented, I'm going to try to shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shook an act of poo out of his pant leg. - Right. - But how did it get everywhere?

- I had to have been loose, so it was real loose, and then he says what he did was he watched the poop go. So with the man said he was watching the whole thing happen, and he watched the guy shit out of his pant leg, and then he watched him try to kick the poo poo away. - Yeah.

- Smirred it everywhere. - And then when he was beer on the ground, and this is good. - It was wet. - It was a wet mump. - It's a concert.

- Yep. - 'Cause, you know, he had gotten not chosen, you're set. - And so parking was happening. - And you can't go to the bathroom. - 'Cause it ain't gonna be a pretty one.

- No. - Nope, I don't know that. Foser. And so he, they then, everybody was stepping in it, and then it turned into a gigantic shit, like then the shit spread all over the floor, right?

'Cause everyone was dancing to sing in it. So the point where the lead singer of Devils can had a stop, and say what the fuck is going on here? Why is everybody fucking wise? What's the security came on stage and told them to stop?

- Yes, because it was disgusting. - 'Cause, guess what, then people started doing vomiting. - Yes, on top of the shit in the mouth. - On top of the shit, and they're already smelly, 'cause they're from New Zealand. - Well, New Zealand people aren't that smelly.

- Yeah, you're seeing it at a concert, at a concert there, yeah, at a concert. They're smelly in there. - I feel like they're kind of, yeah, I'm kind of clean over there, and they can't be. - It was a metal concert. - It was a metal concert.

“- That's how they get smelly there, they get smelly there.”

- One of the women who saw the shit called it huge, massive. I hadn't seen one that big before. I'm proud of the guy. But I do find interesting about New Zealand and Australia and stuff like that. They don't like naming the person that did everything.

- Yeah. - They don't shame you. - Well, they're not guilty of it. - Yeah, army money like poop, they know who the guy you did.

- Of what? - Court? - For what? - For fucking defecating in public. - They said he was in a mouth.

He said they, they, they, they, there's gonna be no charges, 'cause they said they're, it was a medical emergency. - Oh, okay.

- Well, the guy shit himself, the guy he should never have gone to a concert.

Because I'm just gonna, I just dealt with this with Jackie, 'cause she had the dukey, the dukey, flew. - Uh-huh. - And she's still going out and doing stuff. - I was like, no.

- You can't. - Keep it at home. - Glassing you, one is an accident. - If you have diarrhea, stay the fuck home. - Well, sometimes light diarrhea is fine.

Just kind of like a little squirt, stay home.

“- I think a little, a little bit, some diarrhea is fine.”

- Can I give a 42 year old man's level advice and just tell you, just stay home? - I'll give you a 45 year old's advice and sometimes it happens. - Yeah.

(laughs) - You know, I honestly very rarely have diarrhea these days now. - Yeah? - It's pretty great. - It's 'cause we're not drinking that much.

- Yeah. - It's, it's really all of it. - That was just the whiskey. - It's the whiskey that really chops it all up for you like that. - We're such fucking pussies.

- I know, that's what happened.

- But yeah, no, so they stopped the concert. They, uh, cleaned it up and then started again. - Oh, well, you know, again, show's got to go on. - Which I found to be very nice. - Well, I agree with that.

- And then, you know, to stay, I know we're not getting the listener mail just yet, but there is one listener mail that's very similar to this. - So, I saw this one, I had the flag it. They say, they're pro concert diaper.

This is one of our fans. They listed to us and they told us that they're pro. They said they were attended the recent Pittsburgh show and they had a good time. They said they didn't wear concert diaper to our show.

Which is, thank you because it is kind of long. - Yeah, it's a theater. - Yeah. - I mean, like, when we perform in a theater, don't actively go to the bathroom in your pants.

- So they say, in costumes, in college, I waited six hours in line to see Paramore. And I was on a mission to be in the front. I wore an adult diaper for the line and the duration of the concert.

Shockingly, I did have a girlfriend with me who was fully aware of the diaper.

I didn't shit, but pissed a lot.

And by the end of the show, there was some leakage. - That is this. - We danced, made friends with another couple who had no idea they were partying with a bag of piss. I'm not a gross human anymore.

- You're not? - But it was the best concert ever. I stand by the concert diaper. - It definitely wasn't the best concert ever. - It's Paramore.

- It's Paramore. - Okay, Paramore. - We're just coming out here and just saying right now, I'm just redoing it.

“- Would you have to cover yourself in piss?”

You don't do it for Paramore. - If you're gonna cover yourself in piss, it better be for somebody who-- - Aussies debt. - So I don't know what you do it for.

- I'm trying to think who I would cover myself in piss to see before they died. - I think that the only person I would maybe, nope, a Zeppelin reunite? - Absolutely not.

- I don't care about them anymore. - No, they sound like shit now. - Yeah. - I've seen the who they're fine. - Yeah, kind of seen who everyone I want.

- Trying to think who I'd see, who I would love for myself. - I mean, it's Bailey Williams. - I know you're like, you're like, - Rob like singers.

- Yeah, Rob like this. - Great. - If people keep saying her voice is wonderful, but it's like sort of opera singers. I don't listen to that, you know?

- She's not for us, Eddie. Let's just get off of this 'cause people are gonna get angry. - I like to make people angry sometimes. - I know, I do too, with this.

- I don't listen to her. - Who's gonna get angry? And we are the type of people that, this is definitely not for us. - It's not for us.

- It's definitely not. - You don't want us there. - If I was there, I should be asked to leave. - Yes. - I'm a bummer there.

- I'm a bummer there. - Yeah, I was there. - I'm up to post to be there. - I've tried Paramore and boy. - You don't want me there.

- You need para less. - Oh, I need a whole bunch less. - Yeah. - That's fine, but at the same time, go to the bathroom. - You know what?

I'm glad you fucking pissed this pants of that show. - Don't say if there was a place to ruin it on time for everybody else. - See now that I'm thinking about this, I'm going full circle.

I say it's good, you go to like one of the stagecoach festival. - Dude, that's right. I'm gonna go straight and sit. - I'm gonna buy tickets for Morgan Rowland. I'm gonna sit in the front row.

I am gonna actively fucking shit my pants in the front row, Morgan Rowland and go help. - Yeah. - Well, that's where this happened. - Help, help me.

- So, when we got Peter on the Morgan Rowland, we covered it last week? - Yeah, somebody got paid on this. - So now we just have to make it a thing. - Yep.

- I think it's just what we do. - All right, we're working pissing. - We're gonna hire all the gooners. - And we're gonna send in the Morgan Rowland. - Oh my God, call it Oregon Ballot, yeah.

- Go on, yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I'm sorry, sorry, I'll be on the L&D now we claim that. We claim that. That's ours, that's our ideal. Gooners unite.

“Honestly, I do wanna get the groiners together.”

I do also have other plans. If we could unite the gooners. That's a voting block that we might need. I mean, are you united? If we could create

a gooner-centered legislation. - I don't know. - It helps the gooners. - Well, their whole thing's cast. - Well, no, with the ideas, if we can give them

Here's the problem.

“If someone says that, hey, you can come on megooners,”

they immediately don't wanna know more. That's the problem. They wanna, they wanna come on innocent people. Actors, that can act outraged. Okay, about being combed off.

- But they secretly like it. - Or they're just neutral with it as a job. So the Craigslist ad is looking for come loving actors who could pretend that they don't love come. Looking for actors, all needs to be as actors

who can act like they don't mind being come done. Or they're angry by being come done. That's it, yes. 'Cause then it's really about, you don't have to put anything else in there.

'Cause then it can be your people that like it. And then people who don't like you do just want money. - Yeah. - And they should be allowed to do that. - We saw Pink Flamingos this past weekend, so, you know.

- Pink Flamingos literally contains the DNA of everyone of his other movies. If you don't like, Pink Flamingos, every other John Waters movie is a reverberation from Pink Flamingos.

- I'm glad Pink Flamingos exists.

I hope I never see it again.

- I love it. - I love it. - I got right into it. I got right under a skin. You're good in handling it.

- I hate it. - I love it. - But I love them and I love the chaos

“that brings to the kind of love that movie.”

- But yeah, no, no, I'm glad I saw it because it's history, but man, I'm done. I hear somebody think about Pink Flamingos. If you really want to see Pink Flamingos, you don't have to go watch one of his better ones.

- Yeah, I love Pink Flamingos. It's good to see, I recommend it to everybody. - Watch it with a group of friends. - Yeah, that's the fun way to do it. - Don't do it.

- I've watched it alone, but it's fun with a group of friends. - That's the only time I've ever seen, I've ever seen it with people. - But we've never seen it alone. - If I saw it alone, I would have turned it off

and like been upset all day. - See, I watched that alone. I've seen martyrs alone with some pretty dream. I love watching things alone, that are horrific. - Yeah.

- That's my favorite. - Yeah, we're gonna watch solo tonight. - Yeah, Eddie and I are getting together, we're gonna fucking hang out, get pizza, and eat solo. (laughing)

- Better mix that up. - Yeah, go listen. - We're gonna see solo tonight together, Eddie and I. - I then my next goal is for our next episode for movie science is that I can just go.

- Movie stories.

“- Movie stories, but next episode of movie stories.”

I'm bringing in, I got my 4K of basic instinct and show girls and we're gonna bring all the boys together and I'm making stew and then. - Yeah. - I'm gonna make stew and we're gonna watch show girls.

- And this fish stew this time. - Yeah. - Fish stew and show girls. - Yeah, making stew and peanut. - What a weird mix.

- It is weird, isn't it? - Yeah, it is. - We have to step through. - We're gonna make it upsetting. - We're speaking of upsetting.

It's gonna be upsetting. - Fly from Northland. - Yeah, what do you wanna talk about? 'Cause I got this one story that I'm obsessed with and I just started reading about it

and there's a reason much to it yet, but we both have those.

- Yeah, so we want you to go first.

(laughing) - The hat man. - You like that? - The hat man is, he is out of narcole, Massachusetts. This guy's been around for a while, apparently.

He's been around for at least a year or plus. He's now identified as Hernan Villegran looks. He is from Massachusetts area and the reason why we know him is because he's a bit of a creepzoid. He's been known as the hat man.

Some people are calling him a man and the people that are calling him a man are ignorant. - Yeah, no, he's not a man. - No, he talks. - He is actively not a man.

He does talk. If you think if you say the words mine to me, I know for a fact, you don't know what you're talking about. What he dresses as is a mysterious, slender man style character with weird,

I want to say he is these weird paper like things glued to his face, they make him look white. Like he has white makeup on, kind of like smart schoolboy night, but it's not, it's stuff glued to his face. And he wears a giant top hat and he has a cane.

Now, the thing is at first,

people were thinking he was funny. He would do this like affectation of walking around. And people were like, oh, he's being some interesting guy. He's, he's on the younger side, he's very young and people would notice that he would follow him on Instagram

and he would post all these weird photos of himself in this like makeup and this get up. He was walking back and forth creeping people out, but until then that was not a crime. It's not a crime just to be creepy.

- No. - Because then they'd get us all what they, and so this guy then took a step farther. So what he was doing is, get not a mom, he would go up to people while they were walking

and he began to sort of make sexual advances. He was rubbing himself on people while they were sitting at bus stops, right? That was like a big one thing you do, drive by. And he just hit him with a tip.

Like you scrape it across the shoulder blades. But he had his pants on. - Yes. - And so then, which, not that that makes it right, you're right, Eddie.

- And I'm just trying to like know the difference. - There were steps because then it's just, is it as bad as dollar store Gunning? - No, but then it increased. He would begin to remove his clothes in front of people.

And so ever almost like they didn't like that. And so the final step came when apparently he was removing his very heavy clothes, 'cause he has a tie-on and to shirt. - That's what Sito's it looks like.

- Yeah, it looks like or he has one

He has a social media presence that's extremely disturbing.

He has lots of nice clothes. - Well, he has even his underwear is like, you could tell it's fancy.

“- I think that you are extremely generous for him.”

- I think that's nice to underwear. I don't have any, you know? - Well, I mean he's wearing it, so I mean, so can we play? Can we hear some of his voice there, Rob?

(speaking in foreign language) - So he's talking about drinking. - I don't understand. I don't know, someone will tell me what he said. - He is very creepy in the video,

but what he was doing is, was taking off his clothes, covering himself and cooking oil. - Yeah. - I mean, as you can see in that photo right there, so that's an example right next to it.

You could see he's covering an oil. - No, he loves the tiny shorts covered in oil, pictures at the park, which I'm guessing is the same park. - And it seems that that is what he eventually got

busted for, which was removing all this clothing,

covering himself and cooking oil and gyrating very closely at people. - So he's been arrested, which is great. They're gonna do what they can with him. But now we have another villain on the scene,

and I do find an interesting that now we have a smart school boy nine. - He's definitely inspired by smart school boy nine. - Absolutely. We've got the Burbankbutts nifer.

- Yeah.

“- We've got, who just got arrested again.”

They don't know what to do with him. We have got the, the hugger. - Oh yeah, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, and the hat man. Now, and when I find interesting is that

there's the guy who dresses like a gimp and gets stomped on. - Yes, we have a supervillain culture is big. - Would you put the, the quiet man who stands in the middle of the road in this group? - Oh, I've seen him as man.

- No, he's a folk hero. - Yeah, yeah. - He's a folk hero. (laughing) - He understands.

- He understands.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

He is just getting three huts in a cot from the local government. - I didn't realize the rogue's gallery is really. - Oh no, it's building up. - And that's what I'm saying. Is that after we talked to the, the Burkland Devil,

and we know that it's hard to be a real life superhero. It's extremely difficult. And you know, it's a lot of liabilities, a lot of stuff. And it's actually a non-consistent gig.

- Yeah, I imagine you're probably a killed eventually. - Yeah, but it does seem to be very dangerous. These guys are where are our heroes? Now the Bonnie Tyler's dead. - Yes.

- Where are our heroes? - They're going to come forward and they're going to defend us from these people. Why is it in their regard in a raccoon costume, not chasing after this guy beating the fucking shared out of him?

- I don't know. - That's what should be happening. I do think it's interesting though, that we're going to see this is where I will talk, maybe Brooklyn Devil will have them back on

and talk about this. That I wonder if just like the Batman himself, if the jokers are going to actually need to inspire them to come out. - Now, here's the problem with this guy.

Is he actually committing a crime? - Yes. - He's being sexually aggressive at people and he's frauding them. He's touching them.

He's now crossed into full criminality because he has touched people. - He has touched people. - He's a family assault. - Yeah, that's what it is.

- The doing the flagrant sexual act in front of somebody is still considered assault. - Even if you don't, even if you're closer on. - If I jerk off at you, just I we were to cover this.

“The truth is is that if there is an evidence”

that can state clearly enough that I was jerking off at you, like if you, if your hand is in your pants. - If your hands are in your pants or an extended period of time

and you and there are other extinuating circumstances like the appearance of a jacket or the moans of pleasure. - Or if I start going, he's choosing good and you can tell. - Yeah.

- Either way, my penis is not jerking off and reading people's tarot cards. - Dan, it depends. Just don't tell them what to do with themselves. - You know, like in your fight,

as long as you have the medallion. If you have the medallion and you're not actively like that's the gear. And then there'll be a psychic mafia and then that's where I come in.

- But there's a lot of people talking about the hat man. He has a whole subreddit. There's been many sightings of him, he's now arrested. I think unfortunately, this is gonna mean he's gonna do it even more.

- Oh yeah, because he's got all this attention. - Yes, from us, from us. - And we'll have you on the show. Side story's helped me out the jibble that come. - We will come out the hat man.

- I'm the show. - Come on down to the show. - The show is beginglish. - I'm certain he can put a couple of words together. (laughing) - Right?

- We'll do one of those Google Translights. - Well, I know you're looking for a hero. And sometimes Henry, your hero isn't necessarily a man. It could be a flying robot. Oh, flying robot.

- That's right, this is a Texas company. Oh my God, I don't even, no, this is just, I'm just learning about this now. This is a Texas company that is making a school shooter defense drones,

And basically what these are, these are drones

that fly around armed with bear spray and stop a school shooter. - I want you to hear how, you know what that sounds like me. - We scared, I'm scared of kids with assault rifles. And I don't want to get hurt.

So we better stand the wolf on in because I'm scared. - This obviously it comes out of Texas, and we know that in Texas, they're stronger than children.

- Yeah, because that we have the evolving shooting or the cops refuse to help and they're actively holding back the parents from helping themselves.

“- I think it's really funny that they are using this”

as a way to get out of doing their jobs. They're one job as a police officer. I love, I honestly love police officers. You know I do, but your job is to get shot. - Yeah, so the fast moving drones,

the capabilities of spray pepper rounds and Blair allowed sirens. They literally will go up to a school shooter and say, "But the gun down, I'm fucking gun down." - The next Dylan Claybold is just gonna fucking shoot

that out of the fucking sky.

- Yes, and so basically they say that

they can respond with these pepper spray drones that are gonna live in schools. - That is unbelievable, that is the dumbest. - Instead of fucking egg gun laws. Any form of gun laws, they've decided you just,

I put all the flying murder law in schools because that's where they're needed the most. They need to protect themselves from the children. They say, "This is the, look, think about these fucking cowards." - They say if the pepper spray bombs

or the bear spray doesn't work, these things fly up to 100 miles an hour and they can just hit the kid in the head with it.

“- That's actually kind of a whole error, that's fun.”

That's legit fun, just fucking. - Can you imagine? (laughing) - Our thought is wrong. - I'm a cosy drill.

- Oh, hell yeah, we nailed them in the net, that's hilarious. - That's got name, hilarious. (laughing) - This is the phoneer's day of my life.

- So in Arkansas, where there is basically no infrastructure.

None, they have these flying murder robots in schools to keep us safe from ourselves. That is the bleakest saddest thing I've ever heard in my life, and it's so sad. So sad, and they are such fucking pussy's, man.

I cannot believe they don't have the balls to go in and protect, they just don't have the balls to go in and protect kids, they just don't want to do. They are so concerned about their own safety, man. They're so afraid that these cops are just so weak over there.

- They say that the drones can get to the shooter one minute faster than an actual cop. - Go fuck yourself. - Which is way more than a minute, because the cops don't fucking show up.

- It's also in the school, sure, yeah. So you put the murder robot in the school, them, yeah, of course it's gonna respond. - This cops in the school as well. - Yeah, put cops in there, but also do something.

- Do something! - So it's an Austin tech company that made it, and they have, they manned the drones from Austin. So basically they're just sitting in front of a TV waiting for the drones to be activated and turned on

and then they fly the drones around the school and they have maps of the schools. So they know like where every room is and stuff like that. - They're sitting there controlling it from states away, or pussy.

- You know what I, it'll be interesting to see what happens because Marcus was describing to me that they have now put three different, because Greg Abbott is completely sold to state out. - Oh yeah.

- So they put three different data centers around where Marcus's family lives and they legitimately like the faucets are not working and it's like all the stuff's happening and it's just like gonna become more of the guy.

- I can't wait for Texas to be completely sucked dry into an entire granite field, and you guys are gonna have to figure out what to do from there. And you're gonna have to figure out

what to do with wheels, your fucking government. And with your fucking governor wheels is doing, all right, you got a kick amount of the BK, kids club, and you got a fucking pusher amount of his share down under the fucking ground and drag its fucking torso around

back and forth until he gets to the fucking picture. Maybe take them out to those fields. - Florida's putting a $557,000 into the campus already an angel-pilot program. - Oh good, so they're gonna be in Florida.

“- Oh good, honestly, it makes sense cool.”

It's also where they're pussies. - Yeah. - Great. - No, because this is off the parkland. - Yep, when the cops wouldn't go inside there. - Yep, because they were scared because they have all

the guns in the world, they don't want to use them because God forbid some child with a bump stock, AK47 shreds them to pieces with those raining. - Also, parkland is copland. I'm from around there.

That's where all the cops live is in parkland. And for that, that happened is a cops being too scared to stop the fucking shooter. - They just don't want to, they literally just don't want to deal with it.

They don't want to be put in physical danger. - Yeah, I mean, there's a reason they work in a school and not on the real beat. - Yeah, they're pussies. - Yeah.

- So, we need better cops. - Yeah, we need not this, not this, but at this point, we might as well just have the robots be the police.

- Yes, that's where we're going.

“- They take us on Florida, the goal is to make it”

so no humans are policing anymore. - Yeah.

- Well, we all know that Texas is the first state

to use a robot to kill someone. - Yeah. - Big ups for them too. - Big ups for the robots. - Yeah.

Did you see that recent body can footage where there's like a standoff with the police and some shooter in a house and then eventually, like hours had gone by, like 12 over 14 hours and they weren't sure if he was still in there.

So they breach a window and then they send a drone in and they find him dead from the shoot out. - Yeah, that makes sense though. - Right. - In a shoot, not scenario.

Having a surveillance drone go in makes a lot of fucking sense. - Having surveillance drones. - Actually, that's not weaponized. - Robot. - That's the worst.

- That's the worst. - That's the worst. - That's the worst. - The goal is to have something that is leading the way. - So if you could be running around with a broom,

pretending to be a fucking, you know,

pretending like he's using a rifle with a broom

and he's gonna get pepper sprayed or someone's gonna hit him in the head with 110 mile an hour robot.

“- Or wait until one day the proper person isn't there”

and there's some form of like LGBTQ trends meetup that someone's not gonna wanna deal with and they're gonna use it against them. And that's what's going to happen. What's gonna happen is they're gonna use it at some point.

- The kids are gonna do a fucking walkout or something. - And they're gonna use it on kids just for the sake of population control. That's next. - Yes.

- So there we go. - That's happening. - Put it in the last. - Enjoy. (laughing)

- P-Deadies in jail, he got put in productive custody because he got into a fight over something. It seems that people are coming for P-Deady. - Yeah, well he's not doing well in jail. - Well he keeps getting his release date pushed up.

It was June and then April, now it's February, but now he got into a physical fight in jail. Will his release date get pushed back? - No. - No, probably not because I'm sure he was just Trump's.

But he's in solitary confinement right now. - No, no, they'll get him out soon. Trump is waiting to figure out. The only reason why Trump hasn't done it quickly is because he's black.

- Yeah. - Well he probably doesn't have anything on him. - Yeah, I mean no, you would have done it no matter what. You would have done it just for the roles, but he's racist.

- He called him a good guy. - Yeah, because he likes what he's done. He doesn't like his race though. (laughing) - That's a problem.

He's like, he loves his, he loves his attitude. He loves the way he treats women. He just doesn't like the fact that he's black. - So do you know that Bigfoot's in Rhode Island, don't have tits?

- That disgusts me, no. No, no, no, how do you know it's for certain? - Someone spotted a Bigfoot credible, a credible sighting apparently, class A sighting. I don't know what that means,

but that's what it's called. - It means you saw it real close. - Yeah, and then so he says that he saw Bigfoot and he came face to face with it and I had really long arms and no tits.

- Yeah, I like how he made me think he said, (laughing) (laughing) - There were no boobs.

- What is that even, why is the first thing he said?

The visual sighting, that's in a class A bigfoot sighting. - The females are that big, not a wanna see the male. They got no boobs. - But then I understand how well, how do you know it was a female if it didn't have,

“see I feel like you should say it didn't have a dick”

before you say it had no boobs. - Yeah, you'd be like, it had pussy, I saw it's pussy. - Yeah. - I saw it's big, crazy pussy. - Yeah, you can't do it.

- Don't make fun of it's chest. - Yeah, I like, whoa, hey, why do I do it? - I didn't ask all like that. - That's the come on, it's like that's kind of the upper right now. - It's like tiny boobs.

- There's the big, the tiny boobs big butt thing is like in now. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's like a whole thing. - How do you be great for Bigfoot?

- Technically, it's a part of the fucking bigfoot. - Bigfoot's, thank you. - Yeah, sorry about that. - Yeah, but that's like a, you know, yeah. - So, you know, thank you for letting us know that the Bigfoot's in Rhode Island.

- And got tips, top surgery. - And got tips, what's a tips on that? - Okay, jerk up to that. - Oh, I thought I could jerk off, it's up like this. - But I can't, that's the whole story.

- Oh, it's great story though, that's the whole story. - That's the entire story, that's the entire story. - It's the entire story. - Where are we at? Where are we at now?

- It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time, it's time. - All right, let's do it for some. - Listen, read now. - You've got a new one, I mean, you guys want a new one. You want the one from last week.

You've seen one, we have another Reggae one. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know.

- I feel like it should go again, it was, it was one of my favorites. - All right, so that's the one from George in Loveland, Colorado. Here it is again. - Thanks, George. (laughter)

- Hey, hey, hey. - That's not it. - Yeah, this one goes out to Tennessee. - Rest in poor f*ck, r*t. - R*t. - Sorry. - Sorry. - Sorry.

- Uh-huh. - ♪ The bag is in ♪ ♪ The bag is in ♪ - ♪ The bag is in ♪ - Got it, got it! ♪ Every wheel per fatty will make a fun ♪ ♪ Got saw you know that you're having fun ♪ ♪ The bag is in ♪

- God damn it, he's correct. (laughter) - Oh, that's good. - What do people talk about this week, Henry? - So we asked a question.

- Oh, okay. - We got an answer.

“- Sometimes I forget that I asked things. - Is it great?”

- See, how many unique positions to comment on the blood loss

after loss of penis story from last week? - I had my vagina cut off. - I am. (laughter) - Mr. penis guillotine. - For context, I'm an orthopedic surgeon

and have worked at busy trauma centers where we have seen all kinds of disasters and are trained and how to manage them. So I'm training, however, doesn't get you ready until you deal with what rolls in through the trauma bay. Or the penis surgeon, got to be fun if you put an elbow in it.

For context, you have about five liters of blood. In very few areas, you can bleed out from. Generally, you can lose about one liter from your chest cavity, another one liter from your abdomen. You can lose up to that and each thigh from femur fractures.

It's difficult to lose enough blood from a cut, unless it's through a big artery and lost at the scene. While cutting off your penis scrotum does not cause enough blood to die, it does create a story that you'll tell the parties for years to come, which brings me and my tail.

A patient, let's call them Jeff. With a 30-something-year-old guy, you just came back from a concert. He had done some party drugs, likely XSC, maybe some others. While trying to get ready for bed, he was just too horny. In his impaired state, he decided that best way to deal with this

was to take his wife's hair tie, wrap it around his scrotum, hoping that the tight band would also cut off his urge to check it. He then took a nap by the toilet in the bathroom.

“Several hours went by and he woke up to his wife coming home.”

Now sober, Jeff looks down on what are essentially necrotic mummified balls. He panics and takes up the hair tie. Hammer. And his balls come.

He takes off the hair tie and his balls come with it. And that's so quick. Oh yeah. In a panic, not wanting his wife to see, he flushes them down the toilet and now passes out bleeding from where his manhood once was.

But just the balls. Just the balls. Was it a bigger cut? Cut. Cut now to Jeff being brought into the trauma bay.

Normally, when there is a quote-unquote amputation, they call every surgical speciality to see if they can reattach salvage the body part. No one knew who covered ball amputation. So they activated the amputation pathway and called just about every doctor in the hospital to come see this poor man.

Well, not losing enough blood. Yeah. Yeah. Listen. Hey, hey, hey, you know we're in this post to help him.

You know that you know, you mostly work in kids can't see yourself in outside.

That is none serious for a second.

Oh, this alignment. Okay. Really. Good. Come on.

Just kind of a lab. I'll tell them that you work. I told them you're a specialist in ball amputations. Yeah. They say you.

We've got a couple of the ducks. One funny one gross. Yeah. Even. Well, not losing enough blood to kill himself.

He did give multiple doctors a story to tell when people ask.

“What's the weirdest thing that you've seen someone how to hurt themselves?”

Well, the balls didn't make it. He did. Not sure if he had kids before this, but it seems like a good thing. He has taken himself out of the future gene pool going forward. Wow.

Yeah, man. Lost that fuck. Lost that shit. That's crazy. Well, I mean, don't do that.

Hair tie. Hair tie. Hair tie did it. Yeah. I've seen that before though.

I've seen people do that. There was that Sally Jesse Raphael story. But the guy making himself a unit with a hair tie. Really? That's not a good idea.

No. There are blood. Leave him alone. That's what I say. Leave him alone unless you're a doctor.

Seven liters of blood. That's it, huh? Yeah. That's it. Interesting.

Just fucking seven big things of fego. What about, like, super fat people? But if you're 500 pounds, do you have more blood? Side stories, LPOGL is Gmail.com. I'm up and out.

I feel like you'd have to. We have this one last one. This is what you have to. I think I don't say a Greek. I don't know how.

Yes. Totally have a higher total volume of blood according to Google. Yeah. That doesn't make sense. Google AI's hungry for blood.

Yeah. These big fetties hoardin' all the blood. Give me your extra blood. Or in the blood.

But you're five beyond a second.

And then we'll check it. So you're in blood. Oh, you got to tower on a stick to wipe your blood. You're full of too much blood. Give me some of your blood.

Can I chew on your love handle? I can chew on your blood handle. I gawks my balls. I lost my balls in a hair tie incident. Give me your blood.

Great. This way, sir. Give him a dallion for that. I'd like to comment on the atrocity that is old lady poop scenarios. I just want you to know right now we're done with poop stories after this week for a while.

We've hit our current moratorium. Yeah. Don't send more poop stories. We did it though. That's a blood story.

We go away for a while that we come back. All right. Yeah. It's too much after a couple weeks. Now, I know no one asked for this.

But it haunts me every time I go to a fast food bathroom.

Back in high school, the young naive age of 18.

I was a shift manager at a fast food joint. Wow. A manager. An 18 year old man. That's how lazy an owner is.

It's been like, yeah, sure you fucking do it. I mean, I was 16 and the only dude in the very queen. I just can wild what they let us do as kids. And so I stole a bunch of fucking nice. Of course, that's what happens.

I just steal things. You don't watch people. Now, if it was my job to oversee the cleaning and closing of the store in a regular daily basis, we closed at 10. And by then, we usually would have had both of the bathroom's deep clean with usually

quick wipe down after we closed. So at 9.50, 10 minutes until we close. And this little old lady walked in. He's a tent to acknowledge us.

She waddle to the bathroom.

And I kind of forgot about her until some time around 10.15. She walked back out. And she said, could night. After the staff was done cleaning. It was my job to go through and make sure they did all their duties.

We walked into the woman's room to witness what I can only describe as a crime against humanity. I pushed open one of the stalls. And when I tell you the stall was covered in shit. I'm not lying. There was not an inkling of white on the porcelain.

The floor and walls behind the toilet were completely covered in fecal.

“I looked at the employee I was walking in with and said, dude, you have to clean that.”

Technically speaking, has Matt has to come in. But you know, that ever's not really happy with the fast food restaurant. It looked at me with dead eyes and said, I quit. I begged him not to. We're resulted in a me cleaning the toilet and him getting the walls and floor.

That's my story. 12 years later, I still think of it. Oh, ladies, you should not be trifled. Yeah, man, dude, I love the music. I have a nice night.

Good night. Everyone. Thank you for dealing with that problem. Okay, I don't have to buy anything. You use the bathroom right?

Oh, good. Excuse me. It's funny because I'm trying to figure out if she's a demon or an unfortunate woman. It's both. You could be a demon and an unfortunate woman.

That woman is cursed with whatever happened to her. And she did take it out on whoever she took it out and whoever was closest and had a toilet. And for that, I will say that is where the demon guided her. That kind of where I feel like that's like during the the obsession part when the demon is taking over. Like her conscious part comes forward.

Me like actually put this in a bathroom instead of all over these church views. Like literally like that's her first stop and like, oh, I should find a bathroom. And then she goes back and do let's fucking do it on the floor. Let's do it on the floor. Go on.

We never should on the floor anymore.

Show them your pussy. Show them your pussy. Pay the shit out your pussy. You know, okay.

“But when you work in restaurants, I think least when it was for me in the 90s and early 2000s.”

I mean, this kind of thing. Never this 2015. Yeah, it's 2012 years ago by his buddy. But I mean, I mean, I saw like lots of like when I worked at Garfields. I remember at the Harry Potter premiere.

There was two shits on the floor. I don't know, like I said, I'm guessing it was children. Just like people just go in and they fucking shit on the floor. And then you know, it's weird because it's my only memory of that place. It's that horrible day where I like I worked too hard and then like, you know, like,

and then it's, it's scarous. Yeah. It really does. Because there's so many nice things happened there. I'm sure there were like nice waitresses or cooks that I was friends with.

But all I remember is cleaning up the shit on the floor that day. Yeah. That's really amazing. Every day being the person to make some memory for a lifetime for someone else. I mean, you can laugh no one.

I know they'll be talking about that for a long time. Have to go to the bathroom and you just go at least that live them with something that laugh about. Yeah. And that's the important part is that that lady did that horrible thing in that bathroom.

And then it got to us. That's right. And we could share it with you. Yeah. We'll help you spread your poopless stories.

Next month. Next month. Because we're done with poopless stories for a while. But we're less a really good one comes through the real news.

“Because that's the problem is that that's what's going to happen.”

Yeah. The next thing that's going to happen is that, unfortunately, we're going to see, like, like Trump is going to shoot him's pants on the, like a, a national thing that's going to come with that. And we'd have to cover that.

But if someone shits at someone on an offspring concert, we're not going to cover that. Not doing it. But we're not going to be talking about shit. Is over at mid-summer screen.

Come and see it. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit. We come down along beach. It's the long beach.

Come down. It's a good Sunday August 9th.

Yeah. You can come by.

It's a long beach convention center.

Yeah. Mid-summer screen. We went last year. We went last year. And I am not kidding.

“It is legitimately the best con in SoCal.”

One of the best cons in California I've ever been to. I didn't think I liked cons. And I went to that and I was like, Oh, we need to do this every year. It is so fun. Awesome.

We're having our own booth. Come see our panel last panel on the left. Go ahead. Come with the booth. Get a shirt.

Grab a comic. Bring something to get signed. We're going to be there. The entire weekend. Yeah.

But see us on Sunday August 9th. That's when the panel is coming out. We truly, if you're in the Southern California area. You got a comment. And you're a horror fan.

It's a blast. It's huge.

“Every horror fucking icons going to be there.”

And then they have like little like practice houses for all the haunted house. It's really cool. Yeah. I'd a good time. Then hopefully we'll see David does small chin again.

And he'll let us into his like he has like the room over the convention center. Yeah. Yeah. It's very fun. Yeah.

That's great. I'm going to be in Chicago this weekend. Come see me on the 31st at the Lincoln lodge at 10 p.m. That's going to be a lot of fun. And then I got dead men tell some tales August 16th.

The dynasty typewriter here in Los Angeles.

That show's going to be amazing.

That's my dead Disney show. I do with my buddy. I'm excited for this. Henry's going to come. He's going to be the voice of Walt Disney.

“We're going to have a fucking blast at this show.”

I really hope you all come out and see this. We've been working on this for over a year. And it is stupid. I'm going to get D23. I'm going to do the most wild Disney show I can during their giant festival.

That's great. Fuck. Fuck. For that. 9/11.

I'll be in DC 9/12 as well. But not as fun. That 9/27. Milwaukee October 4th Denver. Lots of other shit coming out.

Some side stories dates will be announced hopefully next week. I do think it's a great chill day to be in our nation's capital. Oh my god. That just will be in on the road. I don't have it.

Well, I'm glad you're going to be out there and be safe. I will be safe. It's going to be fun. I love it. I love it all.

Oh, go check out blood bath 77. It comes on Thursday. We'll be doing it on Thursday. We'll be doing we will be prolonging more. Go check it out.

We have got it. It is. It's very very dark. Dude, and when you're on there, just fucking chill out on that LPN TV YouTube page. Oh, look at all of some.

We got HGX2. We got two seasons of that.

This is the second season of fucking the vampire the masquerade.

It's awesome. We're doing crazy shit over there. And then go check out the other YouTube pages. Of course, we got the brighter side page. Seven.

Nerd of Mouth. Romanticity. They're all connected. Fraudsters. Foreign report.

Fucking get in there. Be a part of it. No. Us. Better.

See our faces. See our faces. It's right. Alright, fuckers. I'll see you next week.

You're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me, you're dead to me

(upbeat music)