Side Stories: Shart Tank

That's one of the cannibals I'm starting now. Side stories. Yes. So we're sitting here and Henry, you said, I scratched my butt hole and then you said, hold on, let's wait for the show.

Yeah, that is conversations that we can have without the cameras and mics on. Why? We need an opening. Yeah, you're right. We always do.

We like, you know, and there's no to me what I like to do is think some people feel

that the opening of the show is the most important part so you'd want to do some sort

of like, thought out concept correct like a bit. Yeah, but the thing was, as I actually was thinking of something and then as I was sitting in this chair, I felt a sharp pain for my butthole because we had such a great meal, we such a sloppy meal. Oh, my God.

In Austin that probably top three of my life truly such a wonderful time.

“I had so much wagyu that I was trying to clean out my hole, right?”

I've ever wiped as well. I wept my butthole wept. So you know when Greece just kind of comes out of it and I was really getting in there and then I scratch my butt hole with my fingernails as I was getting up in there. And I can't fuck with that yogurt maker like that.

It hurts. So I had to go in there because then you know what I did, Eddie, what? Did try to fix it. Huh, right? I took a makeup wipe from the side of the hotel.

No, no, no. No, no, no. It's true. I don't want to make up why I'm actually the same bad. And I stuck it up in my, my butt near where I could get to where the scratch was.

Oh, okay. Did it work? Painful? It worked at the time. Yeah.

Now it's back to being it. She must be healing. It's scap. It's to be careful every time you poop. I can't, I bring cortisol on the road.

I bring cortisol. Yeah, I have cortisol on the road than why didn't you use it because I don't put it near my butthole. Where do you put it? Well, I put it like sometimes like if I have like fat man rash.

Oh, yeah. Between the legs. Yeah, no one's got fat. You guys know fat man rash. Yeah.

Chafing. You guys know what chafing is? Yeah. Cortison does the trick. Do not suppose to put those makeup wipes in your butt.

No, what's it a makeup wipe? Who was it? Makeup wipe. Moody. It was like a pat.

It was like a cotton circle. It wasn't filled with chemicals. Oh, yeah. Didn't have an ant. It didn't have makeup remover on it.

That'll burn your butthole. No, I want to felt that. I like a little burn to be honest. Because I had to also overweight after our great meal with all the fatty steaks. You know, and then I had chafed butt, but I just got in the shower, plug and soaped it up.

And then Cortison myself, I was good in a couple hours. I'll talk. We'll talk about anything with the rat for again. Welcome to Side Story. He made the rash for my name is Henry Zipperowski.

And I'm sitting here with that larsin and man, oh man. It is another side split. Nutrition. Side story. Yes, right man.

It's a stinder ranch for getting us bigger. Oh, my god, our buddy hooked it up over it's diner ranch.

I've never experienced anything like that before.

We felt like the finer people of Texas. It was we had our own patio. Absolutely.

“Did you know that they have a urinal named after Alex Jones in there?”

I'm going to check that out. We want to first of all say, we had an absolutely amazing soldout show in Austin at the Paramount. One of the best shows of the entire tour so much fun. We got off stage overall like that was that was the one.

And then we had a very conflicting weekend because literally in the hours after that was the terror attack on sixth street, which is literally right around the corner from where we were staying right around the corner from the venue, five blocks from the venue, seven from we were staying and four from where we were hanging out when it happened. Yes, and so I just want to say, I wanted to say, I'm sorry to everybody lost their lives

there. I can't believe it. I, we now know a little bit more details about what happened. He was extremely, now we, I guess they're calling it a terror event. I don't trust my promise.

I don't trust a single fucking thing the FBI says anymore. That is what happened to us. We can't like just look at something that honestly, to me, cut and dry, fucking terror attack. But now we all have to look at everything like, oh, what was it causing? So, all right.

This is mass shooting happened. It was in Austin, it was on Saturday night, three people are now dead. I believe. Yes.

The third person just passed away.

He injured. The shooting was outside of Buford's backyard beer garden, sixth street. It was right at 2 a.m., it was like right as kind of things were both dying down, yet also heating up.

“Now, and there, I remember we, I had just, I remember we walked into the lobby of the hotel”

around 145.

And that's when I heard the sirens, as soon as I went upstairs.

“This suspected shooter was killed by police.”

His 53-year-old indiaga de Agne. It seems that he was like scouting a place where a bunch of people were hanging outside. He shot at them with, with a pistol outside of the window of his SUV. He went parked his car, came back with a rifle, sort of shooting people there, but then by that, that point, cops that arrived, and completely blittered him.

Yeah. It was West Six Street. And so it wasn't like the part of Six Street that's so insane that we all know about. No, it's the more dangerous side of Six Street, which is what we were sort of warned

to go to anyway. We're literally before we're trying to find a place to stay. It took to go after the show, and they're going to this place called La Vaca. Very nice. Very nice.

And then we're hanging out there, but on the way there, we're going with our buddies from Austin. They literally said, hey, I don't want to go to Six Street unless you want to get shot. Yeah. They were like literally before this all went down.

It already had this fucking reputation. Yes. So this guy came out. He had a shirt on that said property of a law. We know that he was a naturalized citizen.

I don't think it does anything to do with what happened. He was born in Senegal. I have no idea. I know that they're saying that might have been a reaction to us bombing you. Ron, well, it was hours later, I imagine that it has to have something.

It seemed he legally purchased guns in the shooting very, very easily.

I love Texas because it always reminds you weed and porn is the problem.

Yes. That's definitely like God forbid. I felt like Edward Snowden trying to get porn in my hotel room. Because it's all like, because not only is it blocked, but then they shame you. They send that little thing to go me.

Like, oh, trying to look at porn, you're pervert, like essentially. Like, and it's like, oh, yeah, my wife's not here. Yeah. Like, what do you want me to fucking do? Who's my faulty imagination?

Hotel should be no man's land. There is no price. There is no ten commandment, besides murder. Because they didn't even come out of it, you know. That's the hard part.

Yeah, but that's the problem. Is it like, yeah, and weed, God forbid, all right. So everyone's going after this guy because obviously he's from Senegal and everyone's saying, like, this is why we need closed borders of all this shit, which is crazy.

But no one's willing to talk about the fact that he was able to buy a bunch of God. Yeah, the series of mental health issues have been arrested previously. The fact that he could still get those guns is kind of insane. They searched his home. They found an Iranian flag and pictures of Iranian leaders, according to BBC, so maybe

we can believe him. The attack came on the same weekend that the US and Israel launched strikes on Iran. We've got 24 hours and they shot him.

“I think they said the police response was like 53 seconds will be because the 7 seconds.”

The police station is only a couple of blocks away from where it happened. Now, I am not going to add any conspiracy theory thought to this story because my personal removal. Yep.

The problem is is that I just, I am a little skeptical of every single person involved.

The one thing that stood out to me was the fact that you had an actual, what the government is trying to call a terrorist attack after the incident, it's like nothing fucking happened. I walked out, our meal was okay, I even let you how I knew because I didn't know what it happened yet. I didn't know until the next day and it was blocks away.

The meal we had was so thick, right, and wonderful, and I forgot my pepsidacy, so I snapped away at about 5.45 in the morning desperately needing some anassets. I went down to the lobby, they said we don't have anything, but there's a, there's a 24-hour convenience store over on sixth straight. So I walked over there, it was kind of insane, it's six o'clock in the morning, but it

was like nothing happened. No idea. Next day, nothing's roped off, the venue was roped off. Buford's was roped off, nothing was roped off, in comparison to now that we have been in town for several monumental moments in history.

We were in town for when Luigi Manjoni went on the road, we were in town for when Luigi Manjoni shot Bryan Thompson, we were in town for when we were in DC the moment when Trump got shot at the child, the fact the fact when he didn't get shot.

“But what happened with Luigi Manjoni, what I'll remember is they, he shot one guy and”

they knew exactly where he was, the whole time, I still believe that, and they shot the city down, they shot it down, people with the shot down three states, fuck the city everywhere, they were on the midtown tunnel, they were everywhere, we go to the next night, we go to nine inch nails, moody center, dude, we walked in, there was like no fucking security, it was no, it's not security, it's not security, it's not security, and I don't care

about, we smoked so Halloween dog in there, we smoked the smokes weed in there, dude,

with me? I think that we're just don't believe anything anymore, no, I think that this seems like personally for me, this seems like it's what it really happened, yeah it's pretty seems it's, it doesn't seem very cut and dry, but this idea that you had a quarter

“of terrorists sell attack, if that's what they're going to call it, and then we're just”

going to roll on like nothing's happened, I've just never, terrorist attack, if I'm going

to a major concert with 30,000 people, the next night, blocks from where it happened, I as a concert goer, one more security, and I know that, again, that's unique to us in the United States of America, y'all, all right, like it sucks, we don't like this, honestly, it was crazy, I remember when we went on tour in Europe this year, and every time we went, because like, you know, when we do tour touring in the United States of America, and we do like a

sort of power out with this security beforehand, they can't wait to tell us how they can and will shoot and kill a hackler, they can't wait to kill you guys, the security wanted shoot you right in ad, right, and then when we went to Europe, we literally were like, is there, like, we asked for the security team, they all looked at each other and then a 90

whole woman walked in, just like, how do we make sure that nobody, we make sure, nobody

yet it's too loud, it's like, oh yeah, forgot, you guys don't live like you're got a gun to the back of your fucking heads, but, you know, Europe's got their other, they got problems, they don't have air conditioning, dude, all right, how about, we got three people died from this, from the shooting, and one of them died at the hospital recently, how about the fact that a goddamn WAMO is blocking the ambulance is trying to get people out of there.

There's footage of it, you can see it, it's you got a Dallas Texas T_TV on Instagram, they got footage of this fucking WAMO blocking the ambulance, not only that, we saw WAMO blocking different ambulance at a different time, like a couple days ago, there was no blind up in a row, one time, they're everywhere, literally don't respond to honking, no, so they just stand there, look at this shit, and now they had to admit, right, that they

kick out the driving to a human remote driver when they get stuck, yeah, subdued an affiliate, yeah, so the, which is very fast, it's fascinating, Austin, you're not LA yet, okay, I know you want to be, I know that you're so desperate to have our culture, and I know that you're very, the weather was nice, it was, and I know Austin's super thankful that LA imported its

“culture, and I just want to say you're welcome, honestly, and every less dickhead we have that”

you receive, you're welcome, thank you for taking them, but I'm also sorry, because it, because the WAMO thing is a bit out of control, I took to several fans after our show, they talked about how they were trying to get out of the parking lot of the paramount in a WAMO, and it's just like they've got to front back, they've got to abandon the fucking thing, we're not there yet, y'all, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is, it's a fucking disaster, what these got the

things are doing, we're not there, I think that we could say that WAMO has blood on their hands officially, I mean, you know, I, but I would say it doesn't count until it fully kills a person on its own, and then, and then the killed, killed, killed, killed, killed, a WAMO, killed, killed, killed, who's, killed, killed a beloved bodega cat, oh, a cat, and in San Francisco, that's really very sad, yeah, that's fine, you know, cats, they know how the new it happened, they

heard the engine purring, cute, cats, take, cats, okay, cats, take, cats, I'm sorry, I'm not blaming cats, I'm now trying to like cats more, I'm just trying to tell you that I do believe they'll, I've seen cats take chances, and you don't want to take a chance with the WAMO, they don't have the response time, curious as a cat, there's a reason for the expression, yes, curious as a con, but yes, six, six, three was the little scary, I gotta say, it was, it was wild down there,

I've been in Nashville Broadway, I've been in Times Square, but six, three, there's like a, there's a little edge to it that, I just like, I was like, it was not there before, I will tell you that, and I'm most people that I talked to, also said the same exact thing, Austin,

“Austin will, I think Austin will, I think Austin will resort itself in like 10 years.”

I love Austin, I think it's one of the, what was it, what's weird, it's like I'm scared of the town, but I was already trying to figure out when I'm going to come back, you know, we had a fucking blast, and the moody center is one of the best amphitheaters I've ever seen a show in. Yeah, and the nine inch nails show was literally one of the, I was almost, we were crying, dude, and the paramount was fucking beautiful. And the paramount's one of the best venues in the

world that's the, it is an incredible place and the incredible things and people and attitudes,

it's just right now, and it's in a weird little spot, six, three could definitely use the love, yeah, you could use a little love, six, three, you know, I missed the best, I wouldn't wear my nice shoes, I wouldn't wear my nice shoes on six street. I did though, you did, yeah, look at you, try to be less precious. Oh, that's so nice, yeah, I got like three pairs of shoes that I take care of. I mean, the rest of them, they're for six street, that's key. Yeah, let's get out of your

and I actually think I really like this, this is a good level headed breakdown of it because we did not know what it looked like, and I just found it interesting to hear someone perspective

from inside of Mexico. I actually need this, please have me with it. First and foremost,

it is not a civil war in Mexico right now. Nothing like it, nothing close to it. I'm from Nairite, which is one of the states that was living, that was living in the chaos of the cartels a few days ago. Nairite and Haleesco were the two affected states, as Menchelle was a leader of the Hullisco cartel, and the states are quite interconnected. So this is all after we were talking about El Mancho, the former like El Capo de Capo's of the Hullisco drug cartel that is the biggest

crime-synicate/military unit/government substitutes out of Mexico. All right, so so the leader was killed, now we're kind of seeing there was like a power play going on. There's a situation similar to the one that we lived in Mexico when our dear president Felipe Calderón decided to play along

with the USA's war on drugs and remove some big heads from the cartel. Effectively creating a

power imbalance and a war between cartels to see who would be the next one in charge. So it resulted in a massive cartel war. Again, not a civil one. Civilians definitely do not get involved, and we really just make memes and jokes about it, which is the Mexican way of dealing with anything

“bad, no matter how bad. Back then, it was true. I remember when I was a cook, they love joking”

about murder. I get, they have to. It's time you joke about it. It worked every fucking time. It's also, if you end laughing you crying, I used to do this thing where I call it, I would take a bunch of knives and I'd throw them in between all of us on the ground and I'd say a cuchillo marte fiesta. Man, I love them. I love them. I love them. I didn't know what else they liked. They liked when you did the joke more than once. They like repeats. Yeah. That's where those shows were.

Because you're all in guys and go, wow, see you in the girl with big movies. He's got a big pencil. It's the best. I mean, obviously it's a better form of comedy. It's better comedy than what we have. Right now. All right. So there was a full on cartel showdown. Literal bodies were hanging from bridges in previously safe cities. In fact, my tiny city had an instance of a guy being cut into pieces and put in a big pot, among with all of the ingredients to make

puzzle away. Because in Mexico, even the cartels have a sense of humor. Oh, my gosh. So yes, removing a cartel had that holds a lot of power in the drug business. Creates a massive power vacuum. Any of all kinds of guys trying to be the next men show and killing others who stand in their way. Well, others are simply burning cars, creating generalized chaos because they are throwing a tantrum, but they're boss dying. This is once again the Mexican government trying to make the

U.S. happy. In fact, the guys shown as the Mexican soldiers hunting and taking down the hotel, quote unquote, are quite clearly American. There's a part of the new quote anti-cartel force

“led by the American military. Are they Marx or are they actual military? I think they're”

military, but I don't know if they're necessarily saying they're American military. So once again, our government trying to play along with the Gringo's has created chaos. The narco showdown close schools, shops, restaurants, and public transport for a couple of days. Right now, everybody's back to work in school and both Holisco and Nairi. There will continue to be narco violence, maybe not too as big of a scale as in the last past few days, just to some degree until they find

a new boss and the balance is restored. This is also the very last paragraph was like kind of interesting. The narcos, even if everyone likes to think otherwise, are part of the economy. Drugs are a huge business and the governments have deals with them to allow the drugs to reach their target areas. So they should kindly give up the government pantomime of, we will eliminate all drugs. The whole American continent has a drug trade, things flow to the US and Canada,

police forces, military, and governments know this and they even help facilitate the smuggling. Even as a child, I knew that for every truck of drugs and intercepted by the police, there was five more going freely to their destination. So yes, it seemed to be was a lot of truck, well, there was a lot of crazy footage. A lot of it seemed to apparently have been AI.

“Really? Oh, yes, just kind of showing more of like trying to pump up. You might remember”

a reaction. We're like, oh my god, there's going to be civil war in Mexico, blah, blah, blah. It worked completely on us. Yeah. We watched it. We were immediately like, what's going to happen and it worked. And so essentially what they're saying is that it's just going

to go back. I mean, of course. Yeah. I mean, he's not the first fucking drug kingpin to get killed in

Mexico. No. And it's also, it's just business. Yeah. In a way. Oh, and just so you know, El Mancho was buried in a golden cast. Oh, that's the dream. So it's really good. All right. So he's buried in a golden casket. It's been a week since he was murdered. They obviously didn't make it. So I mean,

Also, is it going to be gold plated? I doubt. I don't know. It's gold all the way through. It's right. It'd be very heavy. I also couldn't straight up imagine. Maybe it was gold fucking colored. Yeah. Whoa. I mean, that looks cool. Pretty gold. I want that, man. Yeah. I could see you buried in that. I want to be a little wider, maybe. I just want one to land. Yeah. That's got to be hard to hit. They're like, that's going to be heavy. Let's talk to that small kid. Does he still have the

casket? Yeah. He's done the casket company, right? Yeah. He's doing a casket. Yeah. Yeah,

he just said, we've had him on our podcast. He's never had you on the on the podcast.

David, let's talk to us. Put Henry in a casket. What do we do in here? And we belong to the casket. I'm trying to get booked on many shows. Oh, I know. There's no way this fucking casket staying in the ground that long. No, they're going to go get that. Why would it? It's ridiculous. Putting it on the news. We're like, here's your gold. It's buried right here. It's very difficult to steal though. Yeah. No, it's definitely plated. No way.

It won't be able to carry it. Okay. So we have one more update. Mm. Well, because I briefly talked about this at the end of the show last last time. There's the 11-year-old who is accused of killing

“his adoptive dad over his Nintendo Switch. I remember I'm not going to try it as an adult. You know,”

this story is interesting. This 11-year-old is being brought back and forth with guards

they're talking about this 11-year-old. Like, look, I can't believe they're charging and as an adult. And the reason why is not only that his name is not even officially guilty, no, but his names in all these articles because they're treating him like an adult. It's because of the nature of the crime. So, okay. So he, it was his birthday. Yes. He received it so officially 11. Yes. He became 11 that day. Yes. He got his Nintendo Switch for his birthday. He played it for

a while. Parents had the audacity to say screen times over. It's time for you to go to bed. Well, Mama's already asleep. Yes. And they were going to put him in bed. This was about him going to bed. And he was angry about going to bed. So he was like, fuck this. He went in.

“He looked for the Switch. He found the key to the gun case. Yeah. He opens up the gun safe thinking”

maybe the Switch is inside. Instead, he sees the guns in there. He takes the gun out. He then proceeds to go find the bullets. Yeah. Load the gun. Where's this? This is the thing. This is the thing that changes it for me in 11 year old. He noted how to load a gun. Walks into the other room, point blank, blows his adopted father's head off. Fred just blows his fucking brains out. He then has to go and be like, my dad, he's dead.

My dad, he's dead. He lies. The first thing he says is, my dad, he's dead. He doesn't say,

I did it. It wasn't until he got to the fucking police station that he's like, I killed daddy. And now they are like, it's bad, dad. It's bad, man. It's definitely bad. But I can't help but think the way they're treating this kid is totally fucking wrong. I, all right, I am, I am same. I don't like over policing. And I don't like the idea of a child being handled like an adult. I don't like it. But the kid, like even like 15, it makes a little more sense.

He's a land, you're not even a teenager. I am going to, I'm going to, let me just do a little bit of a told you so when we talk about the slender man girls, right? Yeah. The fact that Morgan guys are put together this plan of attack, executed the plan of attack in an extremely complicated way proceeded to lie after the fact, right? Now she goes and she gets, now she gets bizarre that she got released immediately. Obviously,

not ready to be out in the real world, like not ready. All sorts of fucked up, reading, reading of, I look material, shaking up with that weird 40 year old that helped her escape. And then they're doing all like it's, it's bad stuff just bad. So I think we're in a bit of a rock in a hard place here. When they're showing that type of pre-meditated murder with a cover-up, there is something very bad happening inside the kid. And I think the great completely with that.

But I don't know what you do. Like I remember there was that HBO documentary about like, I am the Adam Lands' mother or whatever, but the idea of growing up with kids that have like

“homicidal plot like a literally dangerous, and then back from the day that you should just put”

him in mental institutions. I just think in 11-year-old child has doesn't understand the concept of death. I completely understand that. He just gets another life like it's a fucking video game. Like completely understand, but when have you like think about that though, you don't

we had guns in the house. The idea of jumping to my head, like honestly, even as a little boy, like as angry as angry as he ever were, would you ever, like go, I'm a shoot him in the head. And I'm going to get the gun, and then not even just not just staying, I'm going to kill you and slamming the door. It's I'm going to kill you, I'm going to get in and then finding the gun, and then doing all of it. Yeah. All right. How drunk is this fucking dad that he doesn't know

the kids going into the gun safe? I don't know. Like how past out are these parents that they don't fucking see the kid or hear the kid loading the gun? You can't kidding the safe. It's Gastron,

“he was in a horrible situation. Yes, the old, well, that's my personal opinion. I think that”

obviously he could get to the gun. I, I think the kids kind of, I'm going to go, I'm going to say nice. All right, some kids, the born sour. Hey, I agree with the kids of born sour. I'm not saying I want this kid to move in with me, but I don't know what to do. They obviously, they're going to look into, I think they're going to end up getting the juvenile court. I do think that this will, because he is ex, he's a child. He is an older man. I mean, what? They try him as an adult at 11 in

that way. You put him in fucking jet pop? No, I mean, what do you do with that if he's trying to as an adult? I, I might actually even be wrong. Side stories, [email protected]. I would love to know if it could be, I think there might even be a separation. I might know, we might be wrong entirely. I think there might be a bit of a separation where they can try him as an adult, but then they, because of the nature of the crime, but then I think they can punish him in another way. I think

“that that's how it works. I would have to. I think I don't think he can, he's not going to”

go to jail for the rest of his life. Like, I think that he would end up going to some form of juvenile facility until he's 18, then he'd be reevaluated, and then they would, they would do that again. I just don't know how. I don't know how you do that. Yeah, because that's the thing, man. He's Michael Myers, kind of. He is kind of Michael Myers. No, you know, not really. I mean, what are they going to do with them, though? They're going to put him in a room and they're going to lock him up or something,

and then he's going to, this poor kid's going to end up, oh no, we even worse. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I don't think that there's a good option here. I don't think this is a good option. I don't think, but I just, I am more speaking on the side of, I can see a bunch of prosecutors and police officers being like, what do I do with a complicated series of steps from a child that actually like

committed first-degree murder? Yeah. You know, like, it's intense. It's not second-degree.

He wasn't like playing around with the gun and accidentally went off. Like, we see all the time. It wasn't like that. It's like, you know, that's the difference to me is that it's not the, it wasn't some horrific set of circumstances. It was, you know, he thought about it and he did it.

“He thought about it and he did it. And that's why I pull out. That's why I said never one of these”

directly into David Jones's locker. That's right. Yeah, you've got a, through a combination on your gunsmiths. Yeah, so don't make it just a key. Yeah, you know, I also just same time, just again, lock your kid in his room. Every night, every night, put him in the room, lock him in there, don't let him out to the 18th. And the only thing he's allowed out is to be leaves. Yeah. He told me you had to leave the house. Well, we have more family annihilators this week. Don't

me. Yeah, we do, Eddie. But this week, we don't make the news, by the way. We just have to report

on what comes to it. We just, yeah, we're just a part of this or should we do our update first.

Although, our other update. Oh, yeah, we have one more. Let's hit it, Rob. We were extremely sorry that we couldn't live stream the Hillary Clinton deposition last week, or the bill Clinton deposition. They decided to put it behind closed doors because they're pussy's, but they loved it, put the Clinton's wanted it. And then they said no. And then they took secret photos of them as they put it out. Lord Bobert has the fucking mind of a 17 year old girl.

It suits so weird. If there's no cameras, then why have I seen so much footage of it? Because they have been slowly releasing an ever since Lauren Bobert put out that picture and Hillary Clinton snapped at her. So those guys, you know, so you know, they brought Hillary Clinton bill Clinton in to do the whole fucking dog and pony show. I was going to say a rigger moral. Yeah, the old rigger. You're right about what they knew about Epstein because the key is is to bring the people

that act, like, never want to bring anybody that's really in there. You want to make sure you bring

people that you just don't like. So they brought Hillary Clinton in there. She crushed the room. She is, you know, I'm never going to say she's now fucking evil. But I'm glad in this moment,

fucking Sharon Stona based against it. She walked in there and she let them have it with both

“barrels. She doesn't know anything. blah, blah, blah, obviously not, but the thing the ambassador”

about aliens. Any question to her about? Yeah, there was a bit. We're Hillary Clinton again. I'm not even a fan. I'm not even a fan, but it was a she did this breakdown for these morons about what you do in an investigation. And they said, and she was like, there's a thing called behavior patterns, things you all put together. She's like, so maybe I would put for you. They ask him, sure, I should Trump be in this room. And she was like, the way she looks, she's like,

so there's patterns that there's behavior. Let's just say mentions in all these files,

thousands, maybe close to a million mentions in these files. That's one thing. But then you have,

let's say a person might be now the president of the United States of America. But they actually were held libel for the rape of Eugene Carroll. Yes, right. They also were then shown that they did election interference by giving election money to stormy Daniels in order to shut her up and all that shit, right? Yes, we know that he was convicted of that. And she was like, those are literally the two types of crimes we are looking for to set a precedent for behavior. They're right there.

She's like, it's right there. So you mean to tell me there is no distinct reason. Meanwhile like

“bill bill, right? Bill's not a nice guy either. I think bill's also a fucking rapist. He, he might”

like them a little bit more right than on the vine. It seems like he, uh, if we, we look at

you. He looks like a full woman. Sometimes I think, but I also think that he also knows because Bill Clinton was not fully just led by the tip of his fucking dick. He also knew how to do it properly. He knew how to, he's like, he's not sitting around acting like fucking like he's some kind of ski resort villain with Jeffrey Epstein. No, the buzzers in a saxophone and he's staring at someone as a great knife. He's above that. He's not like, he's not like, you know, like, like,

like, Bill Clinton's a rapist, but, you know, but not on that island. But so it was all put together. It's just, it's just a very interesting. I think that the main issues that they were not the people we need to do here from. Obviously, they were not the people we need to do here from Bill Clinton did not throw Trump under the bus. He said that he was unaware of any wrongdoing, but he said that he was only unaware. Yeah. It wasn't and he said that it wasn't. He wasn't told. He

doesn't. He doesn't. He didn't, but that he did. He was unaware of it personally. I mean, he had no connection with him after he was convicted. He did. He did. He did technique to his credit. There is that. Yes. He did end it when it all came out. And so he, he also explained the hot tub picture. He just said, how was just so, so tired. Oh, I was just oh, you wouldn't believe how big I was. And Jeff, yes, he did offer me use of his hot tub as a relaxation vehicle. And so, yeah.

And yes, there were women occupying the waters of the hot tub. But we're we in a hot tub together. I say no. But he did one of those where he kind of said, like, oh, you know, I slept there a couple times. Hillary Clinton actually said that she knew does just laying a little bit more. Then then Jeff, and that she was putting contact with her several times. Again, just nothing there. You know, who needs to be in there? Howard loss. Nick. Yeah. Well, he was the question, does that?

You know, whatever. He was all like, yeah, brought my family to hang out with him. Oh, yeah,

“no, that's why my children hang out at the island. The fucking what this puts was Howard Lutnic was a”

fucking nothing burger. And then the other one was a nothing burger. What are all these fucking pieces? Yet less waxed. All these motherfuckers. But we were really hoping to stream it live. So then they have now been putting up piece by piece. Wall Street Journal put out the chunk of when she fucking berated Lauren Bobert. Yeah. Oh, Jesus is on Wall Street Journal. Nothing. I love more than when she's got her empire helmet on. Oh, dude, when Hillary Clinton's coming in with solid hair, you better fucking

watch out. Yeah. She doesn't look like this every day. She looks great right here. No, she just fluffed out. She looks like a mad blowfish. Yeah, punch the table. Yeah. Oh, did she? Yeah. Then she's like a badass man. She's fine. You know, I'm still good. I don't like her. No, I hate both of the Clintons with all of my

deposition room, you really see the years of doing it too because like you're talking about she did how many days of Benghazi here. She did how many days. Oh, she knows how to fucking take it's of the cold. Oh, she's an evil bitch. And they better fucking bring it. They don't know evil. Yeah. All right. None of these fuckers even met Jeffrey Epstein. She actually met evil. Okay. And she probably told evil to go fuck itself. I'm the evil one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't forget she's also

chummy with Weinstein. Oh, I'm not saying again. Hillary Clinton's got him fucking her vagina has a bullet in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She is a fucking mean as bitch. She will rip off your face. Hillary. Chelsea Clinton's I honestly think Chelsea Clinton's is like a member Colossus from X-Men. Oh, yeah. She can turn into steel. Created by the forge of her vagina. Oh my god. So about fucking bill looking through all the pictures

and like giggling like it was like he was like going over a whole time. I remember this one. Oh, I remember this one. Thomas me. Sammy. Hey, Gar. Oh, man. That was a good time.

“How do you remember the Holy River this time? We all got Caso. That's right. Honestly, I got to see”

that was I'm single best guys. Oh, I've ever seen. And when I saw Jeff Jeff, he got a little place to be a palpani when I said Jeff, how feel your pain? But I feel like you can't even do anything too Clinton. No, he came out and said all this is true. And I did it. I don't even think you can arrest him. No, there is. Well, he technically, well, he would have to come out and say I systematically raped girls on camera with Jeffrey Epstein. Here's the footage. Yeah. All of these like that is much as I

want all these motherfuckers to be held accountable. They're interviewing everybody way too quickly. Well, no, there should be any trials or anything yet. Eddie, they are blowing up the process.

Yeah. It's what they're doing. They're basically ruining the process itself to make sure nothing

“happens. That's why Cashtman tells in there. It's why Pam Bondies in there. The whole point is to make”

sure absolutely nothing gets done. And that's why to my people to my tour listeners, it's a great time to commit crimes. This is a really great time. Really big one. Yeah, good crimes. This is a really good time to commit no financial crimes. I'll get you. If you steal, if you try to steal money, they'll get you. Depends on what you're stealing from. Yeah. Yes. This is still the government. If you still from a poor person, that's rewarded. No, they would love for you to do. They hired you. They hired

you. So, I'm going to say good on you Hillary Clinton. They fucking tried to capture you, but your pubic months fucking reject them. I'm Bill Clinton. I hope you found a 300 pound woman that you could crawl in the bell under the belly of joy this weekend because I know you need your relax. Yeah, he's got real sacs appeal. Yeah, it does. I think, oh my god, look at this.

I thought a croller in here. This is amazing. You know, Ham's is like smoke and cigarette. Oh my god.

Well, you know, this is painting will be back on the wall. What are they going to do with that painting of Bill Clinton and the dress? God, I bet. They should put it somewhere. I'd buy it in a goddamn second. Why not? We could raise money for the victims. Yeah, why not? We give them something. Yeah, the the payouts, the Sotheby's Epstein. Did you see that the Epstein estate payout to the victims? It was like 35 million. That's it. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It's like one. Each one of them

gets one million. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, nothing. Just absolute garbage. We're just... Did they take it? Yeah, of course. But once you take it, there's done that ruin everything. No, it's all what they got.

“That's what they fucking got. Yeah, so they're not even making money off of it. Fucking unbelievable.”

Alright, we got one more horrific story. For some reason, I felt like I could have called this. Alright, I don't know why. Inviter of the Squaddy Party. Yeah, I would have had them. Cops that sing child sexual abuse materials. You know what it is? It's the cute name. It's where it's Squaddy. Yeah, yeah, that's it. I don't want the word squaddy. Never dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No exactly. It's like, because the squaddy sounds like a little, why don't you pop a squaddy over here on my mouth a little boy? Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, talking cute about shitting. I don't know if I can. Yeah, although I kind of like I got to do. Yeah, but that's different. It's weird. But if you were saying I got a do-do, and then you took a do-do on an infant's face. Yes. That makes me super disturbed. That was yes, you're right. That's a shit. Do you guys do the squaddy party?

Do you guys have a squaddy? No, I, I, I, Julie bought me one for Christmas, and I don't like using it. So I always push it to the side. It's full of my problems.

The squaddy, potty, honestly, is the fact that I, I might work. I might not, I don't like what it adds to my toilet environment. I hate it. Because I could just do, I put down two stacks of books. Yeah. Yeah, you hit books.

How am I pissing around pissing around everywhere? Sometimes, you don't even know what's going to happen to them once in a while, but I learned to say, you have the point your penis down more.

“Yeah, but sometimes you're doing something else. Sometimes you're too hard to pee.”

Yeah, you guys, sometimes, comment down a bit. Well, that helps you. Yes. Yeah. Get that pee out of there. So 50 year old Robert Bobby Edwards. Yeah, Rob. I love that they put Bobby as if it's an uncommon nickname for the, more than the name Robert. Yeah. So he was indicted because he received a child pornography, which child sexual abuse material. You know, we're going to call it that and said it because we know what we talked about before child pornography means there's a casting director. Now, professor is get, press, press, do you say the cast, the case begins when 21, when undercover FBI agent joined a group chat that people used to trade us to see Sam on and someone in that chat shared a link to a zoom meeting, where a screen was being shared that showed child sexual abuse videos and then yep, and then the zoom meeting and went straight to this guy's office.

And he didn't from the offices of Squaddy Body himself. No. Oh, yeah, he did. So he was selling it. No, he purchased it. He purchased it and was sharing it a part of what you do, Eddie. There's many different ways. There's many ways to share see Sam. Okay. So part of what you can do is they do it a lot in, you know, like, I thought no one watches he's been. Well, I watched he's spam, but I would see span, I watch, but I have to have a mockbang video in video. That's the same time. I watched he spam, which is a can't hand, you know, muck the fuck over the blood pressure. So see Sam, they go in there. They, so it seems like one of the ways right. So you could get it on a text chain. They do it over drop box, which is a bad idea. They do it over certain things.

And one thing that people also do is they will show it over zoom and record the screen of the zoom in order to try to disrupt the chain of possession. Oh, and what you got to pay to be in the zoom. Yes, and then you pay to be in the zoom. And so that's one way to do it. This is the way these guys do it because again, it takes a village. So these guys are a squatty party guy. I did not know squatty party was a shark tank thing. Oh, shark tank, what I say, shark, shark tank. That's what I said is a joke. See, that's because it's a squatty party, but that's fun. Yeah, I don't want to be in a shark tank.

Hmm, could be fun. Yeah, it depends on the girls doing it. So I'm blown away by this. Do you think zoom knows this is happening? I think zoom every day has to fight every single thing bad thing happens on every single day. I think this happens multiple hundreds of times every single day and so cool. I think of this really nothing could do to stop it. And I think that they are, they try really hard, but it's really, really difficult. You know what are you going to do? Hey, I mean, I don't know. I think we can chop the heads off every man has ever lived.

But that I feel like that also might be difficult. It is difficult, especially because both of us are meant. I mean, I feel like we have a good way to maybe get in front of this by goodbye describing ourselves as some of the good ones. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. I'm an ally.

“Yeah, sure. Yeah. That's why I feel like anyone who says the sentence, I'm an ally should be immediately investigated. If you are a white man that tells a woman to her face how much of an ally you are, you've done bad things.”

We know this. It's always true. Every single time it's always true. You need me to be slightly misogynistic to know I'm normal. You have to know I'm normal. Okay.

But yeah, this guy. Well, who knows if he's going to go down? All I know is that the fucking the charges will not get dropped like the wonderfully spaced out cookies. That's a squatty party did provide for tutors and I will say why not just get lower toilets. They have those. Yeah. As a plumber, I can tell you they do have those. It's from Asia, right? Would you like if you showed up? If you showed up to a to a client and they had a squatty party, do you judge them? No, I saw them often. I just, I push them out of the way. I don't have any time for that.

You know, I found with squatty parties is that they could they get like dirty. Yeah, it's up to me. It's got to be all covered in piss all the splash back. Honestly, everything I changed mean was that I just go get into them. I don't need that as much. I need the the bidet.

“The bidet. Oh, yeah. You love your bidet. My bidet is the only thing that fucking, again, I talked all sit on that to five to eight minutes. Man, do you flush with the toilet lid down in order to put the pp and poopo particles on the liver?”

No, my toilet doesn't immediately the second I stand up because of how wonderful it is and how Asian it is.

Oh, that's so nice. I mean, it's a disappointment. Yes, your toe toe like the Asian Olympic teams. Yes, you should not have like a little dog thinks it's there and it goes me hungry daddy. Me hungry daddy.

Not fucking shit right now. No, it's the Asian throw spray me.

Hey, total. I don't care. I'm glad he's a dude. My underwater fountain is named Toto. He's my little friend. I'd fucking I wish I could take my Toto and I put him in a little fucking satchel on my horse. Wherever I went. All right, do we got something? Listen to me, man. You guys want a new listener email stinger this week.

I really did like that funky one. Okay. We don't like it. Can we hear the funky one again? Yeah, of course. All right, but only if we don't like it. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. Damn. Oh, that's your place.

For him in a... I love you, man. Yeah. Dude, I really brought out my whiteness. Yeah, maybe feel white, but cool.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like I can go to a music festival or something right now.

“Oh, yeah. Was it the, uh, the, uh, was that stain song?”

I'm on the outside. I'm looking. Oh, and I haven't paid who you. I saw stained at Osfest and I was very mad about how like they never like lifted up their heads. No, they're just like always they did everything like they did everything. Yeah, they were fucking sad and he's a trunper.

Yeah, we know we know we know he's a piece of shit always comes stained. Yeah, we know we know. All right, here we go.

First of all, I wanted to read this because I never read this when this happened.

You know they got stained. Hmm, put a little mud. No, oh, oh, oh, it's simply delightful. If I could be there beat them. All right, so this came out.

This was the, we talked about the Olive Garden suicide and I did not read this email and I forgot to. That sentence, I'm sorry that that's a funny sentence. The Olive Garden suicide. We talked about the Olive Garden suicide. That's my acoustic album.

Uh, they're becoming on their phone. I'll sum it up. We got an email that I was talking about how someone was at was happening at the Olive Garden suicide. When the chef stuck his fucking head in there, right? Okay, so we said apparently they were doing it so often. He were fighting him.

He was high on PCP. We now know that he was very much high on PCP. And he kept going, a fucking hot near man. It's fucking hot near man. And he was taking his clothes off and they were like, no, stop.

And he was like, I got a fucking doing man. He was like, stop, stop it. And then he just, he dunked his head in the oil once. They grabbed him, pull him out and he's like, I'm all right. I'm all right.

He could still talk.

“Oh, yeah, I spaced her because then he stuck his head back in, right?”

He did it three times, dude. Well, he was screaming. I'm okay. I'm okay. I know he's just whipping oil all over everybody.

Dude, they were just screaming. They were all like it was the worst day in their whole lives. Wow. Yeah. I worked there and it happened.

Here's the email. Cool. Screaming women. Five males on staff and one is jumping in the fryer. He was on PCP and something possessed him to believe that the fryer was water.

And a restaurant full of ice and fountains and sinks. I pulled them out three separate times as they fought to go back in. No noise from him. Only three words. I'm cool, bro.

I'm cool, bro. Face melting and ass an oil when I told him to get the fuck out. I'm jealous of anyone who wasn't there.

I pray you never see anything like it.

Do we believe that's real? Yeah dude. Why not? Why not? What are you talking about?

I'm ready. Okay.

“I thought he said just some random person sent us to that.”

No. And so that was one. I mean, I got a bunch of hair rolling. Fucking kitchen stories. Oh, yeah.

Well, they are all fucking terrifying man. I've seen terrible shit myself. I've been a woman working in kitchens on the San Antonio River Walk for about 10 years now. But a year ago, dishwasher 30 or 30 year old man got his first job since getting out of prison and promptly began threatening the life of the family of a lion cook.

After one stressful, saved Patrick's Week in Saturday, shift. Yeah, it's a bad day. Yeah. Whenever we say Patrick said our restaurant, I would just say only hot dogs. That's all we're cooking today.

Fuck these people. St. Patrick's day needs to literally be cut from the calendar. It's not even a real holiday. Can we stop it? There's no reason.

They're a president. It's like that. I know that it's some form of like I know that they try to make it like cultural every year. I know that it's a cultural thing.

But just feel like there's something else we could do. It needs to end. I think it's bad. I don't think it matters. Yeah.

Does it matter? I know I'm going to get emails about this. Oh, I'm sure some people care. But it's a Catholic holiday. Yeah, I mix even more.

It's a stupid. I hate Easter.

“But I mean, it's a nice to have a thing to do.”

I like lamb. The Andeaster. But like lamb. Yeah.

And food, Easter's always trying to fuck with 420.

That shit pisses me off. Sometimes they're together. Go. Maybe this year we'll finally do that. Watch along of the passion of the Christ.

I'm bad. There we go. So this person. They got into a fight. The line cookie.

He's in his early 20s. He bought a gun out of his backpack. He calmly walked up to the dishwasher. There was chatting up a buzzer in the employer break area. And then shot the dishwasher three times in the head point point.

This is just the police were called the shooter flood the scene. The owner of the restaurant, the manager and staff. They cleaned up the remaining brain matter off the wall, lockers, tables, chairs nearby drink fountain. They opened up for Sunday brunch the next day.

Well, wasn't in the kitchen. It was in the back room. This is just wild to me. Well, I mean, it's already a disaster.

“What are you supposed to lose a whole fucking day of sales?”

I guess, but somebody just got the brains blown out in the kitchen. You know what's weird is I don't think people realize that a lot of restaurants really operate day to day. I do understand like one day off can close down a restaurant. I totally understand.

So from a business owner's accident aspect, I understand. But from like, I'm just looking more of like, if I was a customer. And I was like, I just feel like, Oh, I just just just. Just blew his fucking brains out. Like, if I saw like the mop buckets from the guy's brain.

Yeah. There's other restaurants. Hello, that's reasonable.

You know, this is the first my first time riding in.

I thought that a suicide attempt of the deep prior stories, the perfect opportunity for this story. Cool. When I was 15 years old, I got my first kitchen job at a local pub called the last straw. During my first week, I met and worked with a nice girl who explained to me that she had been working there for a few years now.

While working, it was disclosed to me that the girl in the kitchen and we call her Alice had epilepsy. And one day before I had worked there, she had had an epileptic fit and it fully submerged both her arms in the deep front. Oh, no. Alice had permanent scars that ran up the entirety of both of her arms.

And while I wasn't there when this happened, I was working with her when she pulled the proverbial last straw. One day, while we were sweeping up, I heard her make a very abnormal grunt. And I rolled around to find her falling face first onto the tile floor onto an epileptic fit.

It was an absolute mess. My chef leader had to ask me to hold her head out of her own blood and vomit because he couldn't hold his own in and held her head up at the same time. I'm proud to say that I was able to do so the entire time since my stomach is probably just off is if not more weak with these types of things. Alice was okay.

And we said no way with the paramedics. I was her last shift at the last straw and from when I heard she decided to pursue a career in admin desk work. I actually think that's great. That was a really good idea for her.

Careful with that pen cup. This was my first week in the kitchen industry as a 15 year old.

I went on to cook and bartend for many years after but I can tell you I've never had

a first week on the job like that one before or since those deep priors are nothing to mess around with. Amen. Amen. I remember one time I was cleaning deep fryer.

We'd like hit it with like a little spackle thing. You know the kind of like brush it off as it be dubs like at the chunks off or whatever like the bit the hard parts before you run it through the filter. You know because you got to keep that shit as long as you can. And while I'm doing that this the one of the waitresses walked back in

and this had a giant metal door with a jagged bottom in the back. And she wasn't paying attention. The door came back and it went like it like lodged under her ankle. And she lifted up and slut and it severed her Achilles tent. Oh my fucking friend of all of us.

And then I saw that. I was like holy shit. And then I stuck my arm in the fryer. And so the driver's both of us. But it was a hell of a night.

Oh you did sick your arm in a fryer. You have experienced. But it had been all for a while and it cooled a little bit. You have any kind of scarring or anything like that. I've permanent scarring from like bottles going for my hand and shit like that.

And like but you know. Case to rest around. I'm sure she's fine now.

“Hey, you know when it comes down to that's why.”

Now we're in the thought business. Yeah. Because things are scary. Work scary. T.H.O.T.

Yes. We are like prostitutes but for jokes. I just want to say thank you each one of you because we love you. And we love to tell these jokes. That's right.

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