From Pizza Shop Owner to Saving Mothers

you can have your job and provide for your family

“and do all that and think, "Hey, things are good."”

Whatever, but it doesn't mean you have purpose. - Stephen Diaquelli is a compassionate, dedicated and influential mental health advocate. And the president and founder of the Alexis Joy to Kill Foundation for Postpartum Depression,

where he works to advance awareness and support from maternal mental health. - When you face that adversity and you get through it, you know you're gonna be, you look at the mirror one day and you're like,

"I'm all right," and I always say that,

"I'm locks are superpowers." The first time somebody tells you that, you save their life. It's a pretty special feeling. And if that doesn't get the fire burning,

I don't know what can or will. When you figure that out, you know what you're calling is and what you're supposed to be doing. It's more fulfilling than a paycheck or a job.

- Sure, absolutely.

“- And so I feel really blessed and honored”

to be on this path, it's been 12 years now, and it keeps growing. And I feel like I'm just getting started. - It spans the glory, like a super high school. - Into the Elvis? - Ready, go.

- Ready, go. - Ready, go. - Today, Apple is going to reinvent the fall. - It's not over, I'm telling how we're... - The living your legacy podcast, for those who live to leave a legacy.

- As a student, we have a awesome audience. - Oh, buddy, sensational tour. - Open, shake up on with the lead, you say, "Oh, is the boxes not on the planet?" - You can live your dream.

- Welcome back to another episode of the Living Your Legacy podcast. The Legacy Maker's edition has been quite a minute, we have a legacy Maker on the show. Joining me today is Steven Diaqueel.

Did I get that right? - Diaqueel.

- Diaqueel, even more, trying to have it in powerful.

We're moments away from filming your legacy Maker's episode. Steve, what brings you to the studio? What brings you to my amy? Welcome. - I want to share my story.

I want to share my cause, and I guess tell the story about how I got here. - Dude, I am all ears. What brought you here? What is your story, my friend?

- So my story, you got 20 minutes while the way. - Okay, it's been, yeah, it's been. - It's based on non-profit that I started from my wife. She unfortunately took her life in 2013, five and a half weeks. Today is 12 years to the day, actually, it's the anniversary.

So kind of a special day to be doing something positive in her memory, but 10, 10, 10, 25, just the market. 10, 10, 10, 25, cool. Go ahead.

She's struggling with postpartum depression

after giving birth to our daughter, Adriana. Adriana. - Yeah. (laughing) Sorry.

- So we, so, yeah, so she was a traumatic birth experience. Her complication started from the delivery room on, about two and a half weeks after delivering, she really started struggling with what we now know was postpartum psychosis.

- Wow. - Started as a postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and just snowballed into kind of every facet of maternal mental health disorder. And she, I guess, attempted to take her life

on October 8th, and then it was about two and a half days in intensive care until she eventually passed on October 10th. And so it was during that time period in the hospital where, you know, you kind of,

you don't know what you need until you go to look for it and it's not there. And I'd taken her to seven different hospitals, crisis centers, desperately seeking psychiatric care. And each time she was turned away.

And I remember looking at her in her bed and thinking, oh my God, how, like, we live in the greatest country in the world, how can somebody desperately search for help? She was different in that she didn't suffer in silence.

She was hyperware and hyper vigilant and doing everything to try to get help. But how can you, and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and to get to professionals or anybody for any human being

that you're having thoughts of harming yourself. But to each time you see help, seven different places with psychiatric doctors,

“and each time you must have that courage,”

ask for help and tell them these thoughts you're having and to be turned away and, you know, say, just go home, you're gonna be fine. You know, the United States, we have the highest

in the world by long shot.

It's not even close. More pregnant women and women that have given birth within a year. Two sides of leaving cause of death. And we lose more mothers in this country

than any other developed country. And so I'm looking at her, you know, in her bed in the intensive care unit and I'm just saying, how does this happen here?

“How is there nothing for a woman that's struggling?”

And so I had a childhood priest that was very close with my family. Somehow got to the hospital before I did. She was life-fledded from a small suburban hospital to a big trauma center in the city.

And he was there waiting for me before I even got there and he pulled me into a room and he just said, you know, we need to talk. And at this point, I'm, you know, begging and pleading, making deals with God,

like please just bring her back in some capacity and we get into this room and there was just this overwhelming calm and clarity that came over me. And before I got into that room,

I was like physically ill, mentally ill, emotionally ill. I couldn't talk, I was vomiting. I mean, I was, you know, all the things. I was, I was breaking down.

“I have a lifetime of worry and this clarity came over me.”

And we talked for, it could have been 20 minutes or four hours. It was like time stood still. And I knew when that conversation ended, I still had this peace in this clarity. Was it clear as my mind's ever been?

And it came over me and I didn't want it to end. So I locked myself in a bathroom, I sat on the floor, the pen and paper. And I guess it was kind of like an epiphany. And I just kind of, in that moment,

started writing notes down and I don't know how, I guess it was God telling me what I needed to do to heal. But I wrote down everything from how we were gonna raise money. You know, the fashion in which we were gonna do it, which initially started as a black tie gal

because she loved to get dressed up and put a dress and heels on and dance. And she loved to get together with all of our friends. And so, and it was, the decision was that we would celebrate her this week every year.

'Cause you know, when you lose, when you're going for grief and you lose loved ones, there's, there's certain times of the year that are just hard. And so I didn't want, this is my anniversary week, this is the week she passed.

And I didn't want to spend this week forever just morning. And so we've kind of flipped the script and instead of morning we celebrate her every year. And so we just had our big fundraiser. It's a golf charity golf outing this past Monday.

It was the best one we ever had yet. And that's kind of been the trajectory every year since. Everything keeps getting bigger and better and more joyous. And most importantly, I'm surrounded by everyone that loves me and everybody that loved Alexis.

And that's the kind of amazing thing with non-profit work,

even the people that never met her every year,

our audience grows. And those people become like family. And so it's a very healing process. To know that so many people care. And then all of the for all those people

to know they're making a difference. So my heart's really in advocating from a tournament on how disorders, which is an interesting place to be as a man. Especially 12 years ago when I first,

and I had to round around immediately. I'm like, we're gonna do this. And everything I wrote on that note, on the floor, in the bathroom, in the hospital, every single thing has come true.

When the most important thing on that note was, you know, I'm gonna open a facility, a safe place,

“a place that I believe if my wife had access”

to would have saved her life in. So we raised the money. We have 7800 square feet in the most amazing hospital. It's a labor and delivery hospital in Western Pennsylvania. And also satellite locations as well.

And so we opened in December of 2018. We started with borrowers face in the hospital, wherever there was a vacancy. And from one to two to three spaces, while we built the dream facility out.

And today we've had more than 32,000 women in our region, that have all it's an intensive outpatient program, three hours, three days a week.

And the goal with that program was to never kind of be stagnant

and think the job was done. It was always to evolve. And so we, you know, the health system,

I'm just surrounded by amazing, great people. I tell the story and I get a lot of, you know, praise and thanks for the work that I do, but it's really the best team. And they search the country high and low

for the very best of the best in this area of medicine. And how's your daughter by the way, Adriana? - Yeah, she's amazing. She's like, it's crazy because from the outside looking in, she's a lot like my wife.

She is the girl that has it all. And she's, you know, she's smart, she's funny, she has a crazy high emotional IQ. I think kids that grow up, you know, kind of in a, with an emotional upbringing

or, you know, missing a pair and losing a pair. And kind of, that's kind of the sad part of it, they kind of lose that innocence and that protective, you know, childhood. But they also gain skills that they can use

for the rest of their life. So she, mostly she's very intelligent. She's a very talented dancer. She has all the friends in the world. She's beautiful just like her mother.

And she's really thriving. And so she has a, she's very close connection to God. She gets a sort of, she has, she has a little pink, you know, pink leather Bible, I should have that she, you know, when some things were,

I always know some things were in her

because she has a Bible, or she's worried about a friend. She prays for them. And when she was very young, we brought my mother and law bought a prayer branch for her room. And so that was kind of as a little girl.

She wanted to talk to her mom. She would just sit on that bench and she could, you know, she could feel like, it's a direct line right to her mom. And the non-profit work, it's another very direct line

for not just me, but for my daughter and everybody else. That's connected to her. So I always kind of say like, you know, I always hate 'til death do us part.

Sure, sure. You know, it's like, because I think, I really believe love never dies. And so when I lost Alexis, I probably love her more today than I did then.

And love's crazy, love, love makes you do things

you were never, never thought you were capable of.

And so in losing her, I speak a lot about you know, finding purpose in pain. And Alexis really helped me find my purpose.

“And I think a lot of people, you can be successful,”

you can be struggling, you can be, you know, you can have your job and provide for your family and, you know, do all that and think, hey, things are good and whatever, but doesn't mean you have purpose. So I feel very blessed to be able to work

through the non-profit and do that, to see in fundraising and all that, because I feel like I know God's plan for me and I feel like I get to do God's work. And I know there's more being asked of me.

And I feel like when you figure that out, you know what you're calling isn't what you're supposed to be doing. It's more fulfilling than a paycheck or a job. And so I feel really blessed and honored

to be on this path, it's been 12 years now. And it keeps growing and I feel like I'm just getting started.

And so I, you know, it's like I always say like,

when she passed and I started this advocacy journey, I feel like she sent me on this crazy adventure. And so I get to travel the world, get to travel over the country, get to meet people. And there's nothing like being in a room full of people

that are like mine, that compassionate about the same thing you are. And so you bring all these amazing people into your life

“that fundamentally I think are good people.”

They're selfless people that are doing something extra, volunteering their time. It's been a wonderful journey through, you know, learning about philanthropy. You kind of grow up and I feel like most of the most

people think philanthropy is like, it's for older, rich white people, you know? Like, you know, it's beyond that, but it's so much more. And so it because I got to go through this at a young age. It's like your, you know, your friends are in your 20s,

early 30s, starting families, trying to buy homes, like they don't have money to give, but there's so many ways to give back. And so one of the really, like most unique things with the foundation is because children are such a big part

of it and our fundraisers involve everybody full families. I'm teaching children to give back. Oh yeah, absolutely. And so there's always an aspect for children giving back at all at all, at all, of our events.

And I think just teaching them a young age, I think it's so important for them. And they can't give money, but they can give time. For sure. Or they'll show up for photo shoots, for videos we might do

for the nonprofit and they're so proud of their self. And so I always say to everyone, it's like, if you feel down and you feel out and you might be depressed

“and whatever, like the best way to feel good”

is to just do something good for someone else.

And so for children, it's like you watch them give a couple of hours of their day, and they're so proud of themselves.

Have you always been such a great storyteller?

When that moment when you started writing out your battle plan or your business plan, did you just magically become a great storyteller? Is this a gift that you've always been given? Always had excuse me.

“No, I don't think, now I really think my wife gave me that.”

I think just my love for her. We're going to change my mindset, my perspective. And when it first happened, I'm a triplet. So I grew up in this great way. Yeah, I grew up in this crazy Italian home.

Really close, and that we all live in the same neighborhood. It's like my, you know, my big fat Greek wedding except Italian. Yeah, well, I'm all next door to each other. And there's 15 people for dinner, five days a week.

And so I'm very blessed to have this really amazing family. And especially for help with my daughter in the beginning. But I was in a really dark place. And I lost my triplet brother. He lived on the same street nine months after my wife passed.

So I kind of get, I own a bar restaurant. It's like, it's like cheers. It's a very blast.

You always wanted to be cheers.

Yeah, no, it's the closest thing to cheers you ever see. It's literally firmly. Yeah, like our customers are like family with the employees. We were really great gig go. Hell yeah, dude.

And so I feel like it's like legacy makers. But my legacy's kind of boring because I'm trying to build a legacy for my wife. Yeah, yeah. But then also I get to celebrate my brother and keep his legacy and his

restaurant going for him. So it's like a legacy through other legacies. Sure, I'm putting your daughter like including my daughter. It's like you're getting, you're getting the energy of your late wife, but you're also getting the new soul, the new ascension, the legacy.

You're right before your eyes. And so it's easy to do the work when you're doing it for people you love.

“And so it's like a lot of times I think most humans,”

it's like you'll put yourself last or like, I'll do things for them.

Or for a friend that needs something that I would never do for myself.

Yeah, same. You know what I mean? So it's easy to help someone else. Sometimes we don't take care of ourselves because we put others first. But for me, it's like, what a, what a blessing to have,

have two amazing people that I get to celebrate and keep their legacy going. It's just amazing. And then through it, it's like, you know, in Pittsburgh where I'm from, it's like the best city in America. It really is the city of champions for more than just sports.

Because my story is a story that happens every day in every single city in America. But there's something special about the people in Pittsburgh where when something happens, especially because we own, we've been my father's own, his restaurant in our community for 55 years. Wow. It's the other cheers a couple miles away from my cheers.

And so, but when you own an Italian restaurant, Pizzeria, take out delivery, you see thousands of people from this community.

“Books show, I believe, songs written about what you just said.”

Yeah, and you're part of the fabric of the community. And so when this happened, it was like, the whole city was shook. And so, you know, if it was in New York City, it's just another tragedy in New York City. But in Pittsburgh, it was like, we need to do something about this. As soon as I said, I have a plan, I have an idea I want to do it.

Everyone from the radio to the news to the local community, everyone chipped in. And we were able to start something that really hasn't, or hadn't been done as full circle and as comprehensive as what we wanted to build in Pittsburgh. And so, you know, I travel, I go to every conference, anything I can do in mental health. I do and participate with and, you know, I go show up, there's a thousand people that work in psychiatry.

And it's like, I first, I think they thought it was lying because they're like, there's no way you're doing this because we've been asking our health system forever. And all we ever hear is, no, I'm without any health network and high-mark health. And like, I'm like, I've never heard no, all they say is yes to me. Of course.

And so it's been, you know, this really privileged kind of amazing. Well, what do you think they say? Yes, you because they see you or the thousands of angels that are sending behind you. I, you know, what? I'm just going to talk and tell her that. I mean, honestly, like, all the red tape when you try to create a new program in health, Kevin involves moms and babies.

There's a lot of red tape and like, we would face hurdles that have played health care forever. And like, it's like, this is going to take a long time to get through the department of health. And they're like, you know, we're going to believe it. They responded like today, or if it was a big problem, it might take a week, but these are problems that have historically plagued health care. And like, the red tape just comes down. So I think it's the angels.

Oh, it's a very divine path. And I'm just, sir, I'm just a person while handing you a bottle water on your on your golden path marathon, my friend. How can folks actually know what?

field, but there were, there were a woman that were a few mother giving the perspective of the, post, post, post-mortem depression for the perspective of clearly the mother. And we shared a story from the perspective of a family member and and I saw the reaction of the my colleagues wife at

the time, like, wow, I want a dramatic change. But I never, was able to speak about the perspective

of the male of the father. I, I, I experience significant loss. I'm still yet to be a father. Unfortunately, I've lost twins. You know, I've, you know, I've, I've, I've gone through it. And I've, I've

“I've always leaned on the divine on the source for guidance. But what, what, what is happening?”

Why does this happen? Why that surge of energy that pure happiness and then the darkness looms in? Is it a lesson? Is it just the way of life? Is your late wife's energy in your daughter now? Is this the way life works? What are we not understanding? Are we just filling in the blanks? And what are you coaching and teaching? So I, the most important thing is, I said earlier, like, I'm a male and a, you know, women's health issue. And so I was not well received at first.

Sure. And then when, then people started receiving it and saying, hey, this is, you know, we need an advocate like him. That it was, of course, it takes a man to talk about a women's health issue for people to listen. And my thing is, I hate when, everything gets segregated. Women's health. Right. When a woman is sick, when mom's sick, everyone suffers.

Yes. The husband suffers, the partner suffers, the children suffer. And so I always have,

that make a point to say that's not if women's health issue, it's a family health issue. And so, and now they're discovering more. It's kind of a hot topic right now in health care. It's like, it's not just women that are suffering, dads are suffering too. Yeah. And so our program with that promise to always evolve and get better, we now offer services for dad, sometimes dad struggling and needs to talk to somebody, but sometimes dad just needs

to talk to a professional how he can best support. Being go, being go. And so I always

“like the foundation we have a slogan. It's like real men support women. Yes. And I believe that.”

And so men struggle too. And there's a percentage of men that experience postpartum depression. With the women, it's do more in part to a hormonal imbalance. After and there's a lot of struggles

with, you know, there's, the reality is there's, you know, there's women like my wife type a very

successful professional women put together. There's a large percentage of high profile women, news anchors or women married to athletes and are always feel pressured to be dressed up and look their best because people know who they are. Well, women that are exact and top of their field and they're always surrounded by men and they have to feel like a certain way and they're not, you're not flourishing. I was a woman. They're just very, well, it's still a hard to sit

demographic because professional women are used to getting a reward. Right. Emotions, raises the, you know, feedback. And with children, there's no feedback. They don't tell you you're doing good, mom. No one's happy on the back like they just cry. Right. I learn what crime means. What? And, you know, so there, it's very different. And then like, type a, you're used to a schedule. My wife was everything was scheduled. And what was for dinner? What

“time? I'm the opposite. Um, and you should drive her crazy. Like, where are you? You don't know”

you're cooking for dinner. Like, are we on restaurants? And I love to cook. Oh, you're going to eat good tonight. Don't worry about it. Might be six. Might be seven, 30, but we're going to eat good tonight. And, um, so, you know, now we offer services for not just mom, but also for dad. Yes. And then now we've transitioned into, and our big thing is keeping mom with baby. Because that's the fundamental problem with women that's struggle is they feel like there's no bond

with their time. And so we focus on that mother baby bond. And so baby is present in therapy with mom, as well as dad. And so we have a chef's demo kitchen. Wow. And we partnered with the food pantry, and they bring all the ingredients in. And, you know, because you can eat for your mental health, there's, you know, and die to a big part of it. Yes, sir. And, um, so we, they teach them the, the chef teaching them will teach them how to cook a good meal. They'll each get a box with those ingredients

to come home. We encourage dad to be there. Because, you know, sometimes it's just nice for mom to go home and dad. I know how to cook, but a lot of guys don't. Um, now he knows how to make a meal when he has ingredients. So that might boom, dinner's easy. And, um, and I think dad's fundamentally want to do more. And I think dads are doing more than they ever have. But I think when you look at, you know, labor and delivery in the United States, I don't think the needles moved very far.

It's not what I'm parents always very similar. But when you look at cardiology or oncology, these other areas of medicine, everything's changed from the medicines, from the technology,

And we're just exciting because it's like, we can make a big splash. We are making a big splash.

And so I've been able to participate in, you know, with a sage there, putx has an amazing new

drug that was just, it's the first ever drug specifically for postpartum depression, internal mental health issues. I got to go to the FDA and testify to help that approval process, which was amazing. I participate with a group. They changed the name, but it was 2020 mom at a California woman named Joy bar card. And she's the leading group for legislative change and policy change. So I'll go to Capitol Hill every once in a while. I got the chance to speak to about 80

members of Congress a couple of weeks ago to help pass a new bill or, you know, introduce a new bill to address this maternal mortality rate in the United States, which is dismal. Yeah. Like we're, we are the best country in the world, but we need to do a lot better in this area. And we will. I'm confident in that. And so, and then, you know, technology, I do some work with a group called Mood or Health really cool. I've just constantly looking for solicitors.

Sure, do you? For sure. To solve this problem. It's all your ingredients, it's the cool ones,

because things have a way of getting complicated and never getting done. And so that's been,

like the foundations thing is, hey, let's simplify this. Let's, like we have to start somewhere and then we can work through the problems later. Yeah. And so, like, Mood or Health uses wearable technologies, because the way it works now for anyone seeking, you know, care for mental health

“issue. It's like, you have to hit rock bottom. You have to get desperate. You have to call,”

you have to call million different psychiatrists, psychologists before you get a call back. And it's challenging to navigate. And so, these wearable technologies, what they do is, you know, they, they know when you sleep. They know how you sleep. They know how long you sleep. They know if you're normally active and now you're sedentary. They know if you say a lot of moms that struggle with these issues have substance abuse issues. Oh, yeah. But, you know, if you use a

drug, it knows your heart rate. And so now it can alert to your doctors and in your medical file, things have changed. And then they can so actively reach out to you. It's a, hey, our things okay. And it's amazing, like human interaction, um, what people are willing to tell you if you

care enough to reach out and talk to them. Because everyone always asks, how's baby? No one says

how are you mom? Yeah, how is mom? How are you? Yeah, when somebody does call and they're professional and they know, and they know how are you really doing. For sure. Notice, you're not moving. You're not sleeping. You're having panic attacks daily. Now, you know, and it's a scary place to be to reach out for shop because a lot of people think I'm going to lose my child, they know I'm struggling. Yeah. And be that vulnerable. We're like, does that make me a better parent? Am I doing this

wrong? Yeah. How did I lose the ability to do it? You're struggling because the whole society tells you it's sunshine and rainbows and it's the happiest time of your life and it's bullshit. Yeah. It's the hardest, most difficult time of your life. Especially if you're a first-time parent, like, you don't know what you're doing. You're, you're learning on the fly. Is it as, is it as easy as educating hospitals that just hand out a pamphlet as you walk out? Like, what's the easy

low hanging fruits start helping moms, dads, folks that are new parents? Well, in our hospital, now there's a video called Alexis's Stories. Right on, where you get this charged, you see the story. Wow. And so, in, in, in our facility is in the same hospital where labor and delivery is. So, I'm a very big believer in that everybody tours labor and delivery before you deliver. So,

“you're familiar with. Absolutely. You should also tour, you know, one in five moms goes through”

what my mom, my wife went through. So, 20 percent. And so, that's kind of my thing. It's like, now women and Pittsburgh have access to this care. They know where the facility is. Wow. It's easier to reach out to a doctor when you've already met them. Wow. My big thing around pregnancy and childbirth is, you know, there's 40 weeks. That's 10 months, 40 weeks to get ready. And there should be a bigger emphasis on fathers during this period because, for the most part,

and I'm guilty just like most men in this country, I didn't go to my daughter and my wife's doctor's appointments. You know, we go to this on a gram to find out what the sex of the baby is. And so, I think there's, you know, my obligation as a man for other men is like, take these 40 weeks to get more involved. Yes, sir. You know, in my, my wife talked to so many doctors, and I could go down the weeds and explain all those experiences of how horrific they really were.

I mean, it's, it's earth shattering. Well, how many times the ball was dropped, but um,

“I think that those 40 weeks should be spent with mother and father involved with the medical”

teams because no, no doctor's going to know the woman you love the way you do. And a lot of women

from you. And so it's easier sometimes for you to say, hey, she's struggling. I know she's struggling. Um, big thing with my wife was screening, you know, for anybody that's on the United Pressants,

“like you have to be screened before you're prescribed any of them, because they're very dangerous.”

It was specifically, if you're the family member, met suffered from, um, bipolar specifically.

I'm so sorry. Although my wife has never had never struggled with a mental health disorder

day in her life, she has family members that have been diagnosed with bipolar. And so some of these meds, if there's a family history, these meds can put you in psychosis, which is what my life was in, um, when she ended up doing what she did. And when someone's in the psychotic state, even though she looked as beautiful as can be, her hair was perfectly combed. Her teeth were white and clean. She spoke calmly. And when we talked to the medical professionals, it was like

she was speaking calmly. She was, she would gripper and act like this and slowly kind of walk away. But she was very clear what she was saying. So, you know, I always say like, is there a right way to tell somebody that you're having thoughts of suing or having, uh, committing suicide? Well, we're harming

“yourself. Sure. Like, is there a look? Uh, you know, is there a look that makes you psychotic?”

Or if, you know, for a doctor to say, you're crazy, because when we asked every time, every single doctor we talked, you would say, you're not like them. And them were the people on the other side of the glass wall that were in inpatient. And she would beg to be put inpatient. And they would say, you're not like them. But why was she not like them? We can't charge her to see if she didn't look like that. And that too. You know, and so it's like, what does crazy look like?

What does there a right way and a wrong way to, to, for them to take you serious. And I don't think they should be looking at anything. I think they should be listening to what you're saying. And so, because she's not here, I felt this immense obligation in public speaking was my biggest fear in the world. I mean, here you are in my own wedding. Uh, and about out of my love for her, now I'm speaking, you know, 2,000 people here, 500 people there. Well, and it's been such a healing

process. And I always say like nothing changes the world quicker than storytelling. Uh, and so it's been,

you know, and every time I finish, I'm like, really proud of myself. You know, like, yes, say, you know, bigger audience, more, you know, more support, and it saves lives because there's somebody that that's listening that needs to hear the story. Sure. And needs to know that there's hope, um, it needs to know that there's change coming or needs to know about a new medicine. I just talked about or about a new technology or, you know, and it might not be the person, it might be someone

that loves them listening. It says, hey, I heard this. Sure. And so it saves lives. And so it was like my big aha moment, because I hit by, I don't get to meet all the women that come through the facility, many them reach out through social media. But it was, uh, somebody got a hold of me, and, and it was a father of a daughter that had gone through the program, and he he called, and he got his number from somebody that he knew and Pittsburgh that knew me, that, and I answered,

and he was, you know, crying his eyes out and he just said, I, he was so shook up and he just said, I, thank you. So I don't know what I would do for wasn't for you. I, I don't think my daughter would be here. Well, if it wasn't for you sharing your story and building this program, um, and my, my hair

sticking out of my arms. But I, you know, there's nothing, um, I can never get her back.

And that's a shame in life. You never get to go backwards, but you can change everything moving forward. And the first time somebody tells you that, you save their life. Um, it's a pretty special feeling. Um, and if that doesn't get the fire burning, I don't know what, what can or will. Um, and so that, you know, I get these calls all the time, and, and so it's like, I know, I know my path. I know God's playing for me, and I, and I, and I'm, like I said, I'm just getting started. And I play on

a lot more. And so that's, you know, opportunities like this, um, you know, it just grows it more and more and more and the fire's burning brighter and also for sure. Uh, and so that's the plan. I'm just going to keep talking and hope people listen in. Are you definitely got we engage in them? Listen. Yeah.

“I think that's the big, you know, a lot of people, like, you know, I always say, and it's kind of”

cheesy and generic, but like adversity, you know, you always hear adversity builds character. Um, but when you learn how to deal with adversity in a healthy way, um, I always say it on walks are superpowers. Yep. And when you go through tragedy, everybody around you's looking at you. And so you, you know, first, when it first happened with my wife, like I couldn't eat, so I was losing weight and I would put my smile on every day and people say, oh, you look great, you, you know,

inside. Yeah. And so, you know, I'm a big believer in talk therapy and psychology and it's helped me so much. I really give me a blueprint. I think for life, how to deal with things. Um, but when people see you go through tragedy, especially with me, it was like my wife, then it was my triplet brother. And even to this day, now 12 years later, we're like, how are you doing so well?

And it's like, because I figured it out. Yeah. And so I always say, like, when you face that

diversity and you get through it, you know, you're going to be, you look at the mirror one day and you're like, I'm all right. And I always say that, I'm locks are superpowers. And so that's my, this is my superpowers. Oh, no, I love storytelling to help other people. And so now all the time, I get calls. I'm like the

“guy that everyone calls when the world comes crumbling down. Well, might not be, you must be very”

busy these days. Might not be maternal mental health, but everyone, every human being experiences tragic and absolutely, and everybody needs a source of hope. And so people will google something. And my, my name will come up, and they'll somehow connect to me. And they're like, I want to do what you did or how do you get through it and just need advice. And so for, and then, and so many people that love me and care about me, they're like, doesn't it drive you crazy? How do you do this all the

time? And it's the total opposite. I think it's such an honor and a privilege for people when they're at their lowest to reach out to you because you gave them hope. Well, I think it's, you know, it's how can you not help some, but sure. And so I think, you know, it's like lived experience. There's no replacement for it. You can't learn in school. You can't study. No for it. You just have to live through it. I live through it. Build your code of armor. Yeah, so you look a lot of people turn

to drugs and alcohol and just avoid it. So I made the conscientious decision, you know, immediately to just face everything head on. And I'm so happy that I did because it is fulfilled my life in ways that I cannot even begin to explain. It's given me so many friends, so many, I have like thousands and that all the supporters of the foundation, they're like family to me now. And so it's just been

such an incredible journey. So I always encourage anyone. If you're struggling, I also like

another cheesy tagline. When it first happened with my wife, I was, you know, going through and I was in a dark place and life's hard when you're sad and mental. Oh, yeah. Things slow down. And so

“I, and I learned, like, you never feel bad doing something good for someone else. And that's how I”

started finding my joy again, just doing little things for anybody and everybody, doing good wherever possible. And I always say like, the most contagious thing in the world is a smile. Absolutely. If you want people to gravitate towards you or you're like, just put a smile on your face and the whole world get gravitates towards you. Conversely, oh, sure. You grumpy. No one wants to be around. You walk in a room, people scratch, scatter like roaches, like go back in with a big smile.

Yeah, energy force field, they're a real thing without without a doubt. And so I, you know, I'm

everyone's always concerned with me. Like, how do you, you know, like, you know, I'm so happy,

so privileged, so blessed. And so many people go through tragedy. Everyone on earth does. You know, but to be one of the lucky ones that gets to share my story and feel heard, it's very different from most people that experience it. And so it's very healing. I wish there were more avenues for people, you know, it's a beauty podcast. There is work because for people to share the stories. And so, and the reality is like, I'm the pizza guy. I don't know,

I don't know, pizza rhea, restaurant, Pittsburgh, and like, I'm the pizza guy. It sounds delicious. Yeah, yeah. Leave it in the mat. Leave it in the market health care. You know, and, um, so anybody can do anything, um, you know, especially when you have angels working over time. Yeah, sometimes I'm like, babe, just relax. You're supposed to be relaxing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

don't be afraid of your north star, your divine path, my friend. I hate to interrupt you. I got to cut you shirt because I want to get you into the studio. How can folks follow you, find your energy, online, find your restaurant, and support your messaging your cons. So I'm on Facebook. It's at

“Stephen the Achillesia, I believe. Same thing for Instagram. I'm so bad with all the handles and”

social media. I need so much help in that area, but um, at AJD foundation. Great. Um, I Facebook. I think his adolescence joy de Achilles foundation or AJD foundation. My restaurants, North of Pittsburgh, um, in Waxford, right on two, five, seven, two brand school robots for PA, one, five, oh, nine, no. Cool. The coolest neighborhood spot ever. Great bar. Well, if you're going to be playing this in your bar or in your restaurant in the big screen, do you want to say anything in the

camera? Do you want to have that? Do you want to call out a mid thing and a menu item, encourage anyone

narrow it down because everything sells, but no, just a huge thank you. I have, um, I have the best

“employees, um, such a great team behind me. They give me the freedom to travel to do stuff for the”

nonprofit. Um, and without a doubt, I have the best customers. My customers are amazing. Um,

and I have the best community, the absolute best community where my restaurant is. So I'm just,

“I'm just blessed beyond belief, um, and so thankful for it. Gosh, man. Well, thank you so much for your”

time and energy. I'm stoked to continue our journey into next studio. Thanks again for your time and

energy. We're going to move on to the next studio. And with that Steve, we're going to wrap up this

“episode of the 11 living your legacy podcast, the Legacy Maker's Edition. Uh, any final thoughts”

my friend before we wrap it up? Just thank you very much for giving me a bigger platform to share my story, rock and rub all of them. And good night.