How a Trauma Therapist Removed the Mask to Heal

So when you start and you raise your hand and say it's not okay and be okay with being vulnerable

“and I have to be the strong one, that's when you're ready to look at you again.”

Because if you're not ready to admit that when you're looking at yourself, you're really just looking at another mask that they handed you. Dr. Michael Dent is a trauma-informed growth-oriented and community-centered licensed professional counselor, known for her transformational work as the founder of Therapist Michael D. Through her dedication to emotional wellness, she empowers individuals and organizations

to heal from systemic trauma, embrace vulnerability, and build resilient paths towards long-term

social impact. You're not really looking at your authentic self into it. You can look

yourself in a mirror and see you for who you is right now. And even me telling my stories,

“I sometimes be like, "Oh yeah, I did do that. I did do that too. I would have been so”

irritated trying to get home and you got all these teenagers with their music, swinging cars, and out the windows. But where I came from came up and where I grew up, five, three, two, six. I didn't even know that that was one of the most challenging zip codes. Once you remove the mask and become you, you are reminded of the power you've held inside the whole entire time." The living your legacy podcast, for those who live, to leave a legacy.

Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Living Your Legacy podcast. Again, I am your host Jason Tyler and today I am joined by Dr. Mikhail Dent. Dr. Mikhail, how are you feeling? I'm so excited. It's just, it's just a real, like you said,

“Dr. Mikhail Dent. I know it. You got a nice ring to it, don't it?”

Yes, I love it. I love it. I love it. So we just finished filming your episode of Women in Power. How do we feel now now that we're on the other side of it? Yes. I feel like like the jitters. I was telling myself the whole time like, don't be nervous. It's just story. Just tell your story. So now that I have told my story, I feel so liberated. You know what I mean? Feel lighter? Yes. I love that feeling. Yes. That's the best. Yes, that's exactly how I feel.

Just lighter. You know? Mm-hmm. So for the audience out there, this is their first, you know,

time getting to know you. This is their first opportunity to get to know you. What is the number one thing that you want the audience to learn about you in your story? I want the audience to walk away just knowing I can do it too. Mm-hmm. Meaning them. Like, if she can do it, I can do it. That's the number one thing. Mm-hmm. And we said it a couple of times throughout your episode if you're the evidence. Yes, the evidence. I'm not the exception to the rule. I am the evidence that it can be

done. You know what I mean? I'm the end result when people really invest into our tomorrow's leaders. I am that from my granddad porn to me. My mom porn to me. Confidence. You can do this. My granddad. You can be anything you want to be. Those moments and time is what it is. So I just want other people to know. Like, if I can do it, you can do it too. Mm-hmm. That's the ultimate message, right? Your story is your testimony. Absolutely. Right. Now for the audience member that doesn't

know anything about Dr. McHeld, Dan. Let's give him a brief rundown. Talk to me a little bit about, you know, coming up from a rough area in Milwaukee. All right? Talk to me about your zip code where you came from. How do I get to the Dr. McHeld that is sitting in front of me today? Yes. And even me telling my stories, I sometimes be like, oh yeah, I did do that. I did do that too. You know, so like when I see my baby girl call us the, um, older lease instead of saying elders,

she says the older lease. So when I talk to older lease that are complaining about our youth and saying they did this, I'm like, that was me. I used to be selling cars. We used to be hanging out the windows. I came to not count on my fingers how many tickets I have from hanging up the windows, driving up and down capital drive to the point of, in my age group, that's when we, we caught a traffic. We just was outside. We caught a traffic. Now that I'm older, I'm like,

I would have been so irritated trying to get home and you got all these teenagers with their music swinging cars and out the windows. But where I came from, um, came up and where I grew up,

You know, I didn't know that the way we grew up and where I'm from Milwaukee, that we were living

“in a war zone. Literally. Literally. I had no idea that the things that I was subjected to”

growing up are more traumatic. It's more traumatic then the things that people who are and go away across countries for wars and stuff like that. You know what I mean? So for me, how I grew up, I was a product of my environment. What do I mean? They handed me a mask long time ago and told me what I was supposed to be. You know, you supposed to be the drug dealer. You supposed to be the team mom. You're supposed to be on welfare. You supposed to

maybe graduate, um, high school. But they tell our boys that you're going to be dead or in jail. You're not going to graduate high school. These are the things that our people were looking

up to teach us. So it's like when you hand us the mask, you can't fill away when we're performing

in the circus. You know what I mean? But that's just really how I grew up. Like, not knowing that it was something wrong with how I grew up because it was normalized. It was normalized to have family secrets and what goes on in my house, stays in my house or we were, me and my cousins just to have gang fights. You know, it used to be us and then it would be another crew that come. What? What we doing fighting, coming up to the school is fighting. And I just was

what I was around. That was normal for us. It was the environment. Yes, that was normal getting excited about that. It's one hit my hand fighting each other like that was normal. I did not know until like I ordered that. That's not normal. How we grew up is not normal. You know, that is one hit my hand just gave me work. I have PTSD. You know about that. That is like, oh yeah, we did that before. What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

that's not, we did that down south. Yeah, they're a wide-roar to play like that. I'm born and raised counting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I get a twist in this thing. You know, I don't even know what I'm saying. You know, it's so funny. What you just said was actually the tagline for, I used to be the executive producer for Viktor Oladipo's podcast, my buddy, you used to play for the heat. Yeah. And his tagline for the show was it ain't on you. It's in you.

Oh, I used to love, I used to love when we would do that. Yeah, true. You know, talking about like you're upbringing, like the the adults that was around you and they've they cast in these sort of identities on you. They cast in these masks on you. You went from not having a lot of positive role models to becoming a positive role model for the girls in your area and for women who are just going through it. Talk to me a little bit about what the work that you're doing through glow.

So the work that I'm doing through glow is two-folded. So one part of that is we work with our girls where we're meeting them where they are. You know, it's glow stands for girls lying to become our standing women where we're meeting them exactly where they are and teaching them the

“tools what it looks like to have confidence. Not just saying you should be confident. What do that”

mean? What does that mean to someone who never experienced confidence where their moms or their

dads never poured into them? How are we telling them just to have confidence? So we meet them where they are and we show them what confidence looks like. What meaning that has behind it? And a lot of our youth are taught not to be angry. Go to anger management class. No, we call that emotional regulation. You should get angry because if you're missing that emotion, I might have to die into it. Feel the emotion. Yes. And so we're just giving them permission to feel the emotion.

And you will be so surprised with those two things how it just really changes their mindset. You know, I'm letting them know the difference between labels and what you believe. Just because they call you that does not mean that's who you are. You are who you say you are. You are what you see that you can be. You are everything that you believe. Just because they said it don't mean you have to believe it. So through that work, when I say meet them where they are, we're in the communities.

“The communities everyone forgot about. I remember recently going to my 20th. I'm telling”

my age here, but I remember going to my 20th high school reunion. And I was talking to one of my classmates wise. And she was listening to the work I was doing about glow. And she was like, you know what, last year I was just doing the project and we just realized and I just found out that you guys doesn't you don't have any healthy food grocery stores. She lives in Milwaukee. She just lives 15 minutes that way. So what I realized is the ones that live like I lived and

grew up where I grew up, we don't know about them. That's 15 minutes away. There you go. I just know about one to like Michigan. I just know about the dirty side driving down the avenue. That's how you get to the lake. I didn't know if you just travel a few more miles down to this same lake. It's beautiful. You think you're in Miami or something. I had no idea. So that's what I'm saying

So if I cannot just inspire a million girls, but if I can create the system that will impact a

million girls where they begin to transform, then that is the work that I am most fulfilled with doing. That's my calling. But then later, we're talking about the work through glow. I had to start the movement because as a therapist, I realized when I started having my adult clients, especially those that look like me mean it arrived. Like they look like this version of me. You are the CEO and the entrepreneur and I'm their therapist. I'm nervous for being their therapist, but I realized

in those moments when you give space for someone to really show up and you are in session and you hold space to see their pain and hold that and they can remove their mask. I realized that they're

“hurting, but a lot of them are hurting a little girl still. That's what I need to help you. So”

glow, I used to think only use. And then when I became a therapist, I realized the little girls

that I'm also supposed to help you is in growing women as well. And for the audience members out there, what does glow stand for? Gloss dance for girls, learn it to become outstanding women. Boom, period, period. Drop the mic, drop the mic, you know? But then I realized that I have to go back to the growing women to help them heal the younger girls. So it's just kind of like it's full circle. It's a full circle moment. That's what I love about your story and like getting

it was an honor to be able to be your interview, your interviewer and your story. And I think one of the key touch points for me was your story is a story of defiance. You defied your circumstances, you defied the odds that were placed on you because how many women come from where you come from and go on to achieve the things that you achieve. So I want to just give you your credit for that. But for the audience member out there who's thinking, you know,

man, I really have this dream. I have this thing that I want to do. I want to go do it. What is your advice for them to get from where they are to where you are?

“I would say mindset is everything. You have to believe it. Women go through so much. We bring life”

into the freaking world. We go through so much, so many adversities. We go through so much and we overcome. I just remember my mom being a singer, mom. I didn't know we were poor. I didn't know that those meals that was my favorite meals was. Yeah. Fry the baloney. You understand? Well, before May up on that baby, what you mean it, and if you really trying to be fancy, you cut it down the middle of what you got to burn a little edge is when it comes to the

baloney style. You got to have a crisp and you got to just kind of create a dome. I was just left over in Voila then you got to slid it down the middle if you wanted to relax the kid. Come on back. Oh no, that was it on spam sandwiches. Y'all better start playing. All right, you lost from spam

choices. That was never my bag. That was never my bag. When you have a trick, you have a trick,

“right? But that's how it was. It's just really just growing up that way and just”

realizing those things. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, for the viewers out there, guys, if you're, if you're missing the context of what Glow Services is, you are in therapy and transformational work, right? You're helping women change their lives, but not only in that, but you're also, you know, you have the transitional housing as well. And I want to take a second of kind of just talk about that as well. Yeah. And then even going back to your original question

for those women, I just want them to know. And I tell those stories because I am you. And when I say it's you against you, it really is. If you believe it, we get through, we go through so much and we overcome those things. If you believe you can do it, you really can. You saw it. You already know, you know it don't feel good where you are. You know that is not you. You know that you are this person in front of everybody else, but then behind closed doors, you're crying yourself to sleep.

It's time for us to be okay, we're not being okay. And that's where it starts. So when you start and you raise your hand and say it's not okay and be okay with being vulnerable. And I have to be the strong one. That's when you're ready to look at you again. Because if you're not ready to admit that when you're looking at yourself, you're really just looking at another mask that they handed to you. You're not really looking at your authentic self until you can look yourself in the mirror

and see you for who you is right now. But then believe that this don't matter because this is not where you're going. So for those people out there that's listening, it's you against you. Make your mind especially when it comes to a mother or woman. You can do it. Make your mind up and get it done. And if you find yourself still stuck, I would say pause. I talked about my ABC theory, addiction. What are you finding yourself spending the most time doing? Is it negative

automatic belief system addiction. That's why you behave the way you behave. That's the

“B. And that's why you get in the consequences that you're getting. That's the C. You have to look”

at the mirror. What consequences do you want? Change the behaviors and then change your addictions. So I just wanted to talk a little bit about that. And I guess that leads us to to the transformation work because that is the transformation. I didn't even realize that I needed transformation. So I was studying for my TED talk, my TEDx talk. And I talked about the mask. And I knew that's the message so I'm writing it. But I didn't know through that your journey of

studying and getting coach through that that I was going to have to go through my transformation. I needed to learn how to be vulnerable. I was the one where the mask of conformity of strong and strength and motherhood. All these different masks I was wearing. I had to learn how to be okay with them. I'm not okay. So that way when I got on that stage, it was a year journey. When I got on that stage, I can speak from a different lens. I can help transform people because I'm actually transformed.

You can help transform people if you're not transformed. Okay, tell somebody how to fight the

demons. If you've never, if you never put the box in gloves on with yours, come on. You can't do it.

There's no way to help someone address trauma if you've never addressed trauma. There's no way. How if you're running from yours? How you gonna know how it feels when I'm sitting across from my clients or when I'm in I'm going to different corporations where they're looking for like an increase in productivity. I also do mind shifts there as well. It's all with the mind. But the reason why I can relate to them because I know how I feel. I know it's somebody in the audience that's

gonna leave here and go to that dream. I know it's somebody in that audience that's gonna yell at her kids because she overstimulated but she don't know the words for it. I know that I know that there's someone who's in this session with me right now that's overthinking about life right now because you didn't even get your needs met. You know what I mean? There's somebody right now that's accusing a man, cheating on them just because they ain't answer the fall

because it's really a trigger in. But I'm trying to trigger that trigger. I'm trying to trigger that trigger. You gotta be real with yourself. You can speak to those people. We talked about a little bit about this off-camera. My dad's a psychologist. When you talk about doing that inner work and addressing your trauma, this is something that I grew up with. Being able to hear your story and that's not gloss over. There's a doctor in front of that name. You're in that. For those of you

guys out there that are watching, especially if you're you know still tuned in at this point in the show.

First of all, make sure that you tune in to her episode of Women in Power. It's gonna be an incredible

incredible episode. I know that because I filmed it. But make sure you tune in. That'll be coming out shortly after this episode of the podcast drops. For the people out there, what is your number one

“key for success here at Inside Success? I would say that my number one key for success is you”

have to remove that mask and become the, and become you, the real you. You have to. Once you remove the mask and become you, you are reminded of the power you've held inside the whole entire time. You start realizing how much programming, how society lied to you, and how you do have a choice to really do the things you want. So if it's one thing, remove the mask and become the real you. And if I have people out there like, I don't wear a mask, I don't wear a mask. If you're a mom who might

have a breakdown moment, your kid not going to door and you turn it to mommy mode, that's a mask. If you are a man who don't know that if he's gonna have the next check with a phrase to go home and tell his wife, so when you're in front of your wife, you're that husband, that's the mask. We have to remove the mask. And if you think you don't have a mask, cool, cool, then I will say the one thing is become you, the real you. Authenticity is the key. Yes. That is the key. It is.

The mask of conformity is real. And ladies and gentlemen, it has been an incredible experience

getting to work with you, getting to have you on the show. Thank you so much for joining us. And for the audience members out there, where can they find you on social media, on the world, like, where can they tap in with the work that you're doing? It gets me. I see it's funny, you said that because I go by therapists, McKell D. So like on all social media platforms,

“it's therapists, underscore McKell and my CKELLD. But now I'm like, what do I call myself?”

Is it doctor, therapists, McKell D, but right now I'm a six-up therapist, McKell D, it's a

McKell D, and then my website is therapists, McKellD.com, or they can go to glowpower.org

“to know about the work that I'm doing with my girls. Again, this has been another incredible episode”

of the Living Your Legacy Podcast. I'm your host Jason Tyler, joined by Dr. McKell D.

And we will see you guys in the next one.