⁠I Spent Years Fighting Porn. Now I’m a Top OnlyFans Creator with Heather Nielsen - E155

In certain circumstances, but not across the board.

So I started going from porn is the bad thing here to, well, maybe it's not the point itself. Have you noticed that the world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you, that your beliefs, perceptions, reactions, fears, and doubts have been shaped by unsolicited outside noise? How easy it's been for you to slip into that default sleep walking mode and label it as life and reality. Yeah, that ends here. Welcome to the Makes sense with Dr. JC podcast.

This is your opportunity to start thinking for yourself, reclaim control, and step back into that rule as the shot caller and dominant force of your own reality. It's when you change the way that you look at things that the things that you look at begin to change. So let's wake up. Let's rise up and let's make sense of why and how shift happens. Welcome back. I don't get to say this too often to people. Welcome back.

Got out of like 70 80 guests. There's only been like four that have been back for a second time on this new show. So welcome back Heather Nielsen to the now make sense with Dr. JC podcast.

“Yeah, I'm excited. I think this is fun because I've had such a kind of radical change in thinking.”

Some excited to be able to kind of share those new thoughts, share kind of my new discoveries.

I'm happy. This is the the perfect place to do this. What I've always admired then and now

is that you've always operated at a state of unlaziness. You're not a lazy person and what I mean by that is whether you're leading the fight-the-beast mission or as we're going to discuss now building a presence on only fans. You've always been intentional about it. Not everybody can say that. Always been intentional and also never mindless about it. I always on our show we always say welcome to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. So I never looked at you as part of that.

And you move through life with conviction. You know, we've had discussions about all this stuff that a lot of people might think is like super radical on all that stuff but you've never come from a place of like not knowing why you're doing things and I think that's really cool and I think that'll be part of this discussion. And you're not somebody that's just drifting through what's called the you know the digital creator economy here. You're someone that's navigating this whole

movement here but with justifiable intentions. I very much respect somebody that can sit in a conversation that has potential tension to it without hiding from it. You know, because that's the kind of

“stuff that I think people really need. I think people need real stuff. So anyway, that's what I like about”

you Heather. Yeah, I really appreciate that. And I think that is you really touch something important to me. That's a core part of just my message in both the corner covering and the now kind of only fan space. Both ones are centered on intentionality with your sexuality and that's a that's really important to me because I see how it affects people when you're not intentional, when you get careless, when you're not thinking through, you know, what's the impact here? Yeah, and there's a lot of

that going on today. Just to put context because this is a whole new audience and I just want to make sure that people know a little bit about the history and when we first met. So take us back to the fight the beast and I know that that's still happening but take us back to the days where we first met with with fight the beast and what problem was it that you were trying to solve at that time? If you could take us back there. Yeah, so I grew up very religious and for me that kind of obviously

dictated my sexuality and it was never a negative thing. There was never any shame for me but there was

“this kind of holiness and sacredness around sexuality that I think I felt very, you know, it's kind of”

that missionary mentality. I felt very called to share this very specific rigid view of sexuality with people and I could see the benefits, right? Because I think we all have biases so I was seeing the benefits of, okay, well, I see that people who live a certain way, you know, they're emergence until they get married and they usually stay married and I see these benefits and so my own biases say, okay, well, unless you do XYZ, you're destined for unhappiness and so with porn,

I saw porn as definitely having a negative impact on people who had negatively impacted my life. I didn't have a man in my life seven years ago because both of my kids, I've been divorced twice, both my kids dad had experience with that and so I kind of vilanized it because of that and the father and stepfather I grew up with and so kind of I'm just, you know, seeing the influence of this on the lives of the men around me, different friends who had gone through divorces, people, you know,

and from my perspective, that meant, okay, all of this is bad and I wanted to be a part of a change.

I'm very, like you said in the beginning, kind of very motivated to make a difference and have a positive impact and so I set out to really just help men overcome porn addiction from the perspective

“of porn as bad, let's help people quit. Back then, I just want to go back then because I remember”

our conversation, I went back and I listened and watched our last episode and I just wanted for the record say, you haven't changed. You're this, you're still the same person. Just different mission perhaps, different explanation. When you look at the dynamics of a marriage, you know, I'm a married man, back then it just appears that you were just looking at porn as like a major major problem that a lot of relationships had. So are you saying that you now have the ability to look

back and see that you were maybe jaded or tainted because of your own relationship and also the way that you were brought up? I don't know that it was so much jaded because of my relationship. I studied marriage and family science in college and so again, going to a Christian private university, my views were probably a little biased and so I saw, you know, mostly focused on the statistics of marriages where, you know, one partner watches pornography or more likely to

get divorced and those statistics do have weight but I was focusing on the statistics that supported my opinion and as I stepped back over time and I started, you know, really just reading more and more research about five years in, I go, I can't keep denying the research. I can't keep calling all of the research a conspiracy. Well, I do still believe in some cases and we'll talk about what the exceptions are but in some cases, yes, pornography can have a obviously very negative impact

on a relationship in certain circumstances but not across the board. So I started going from porn is the bad thing here to, well, maybe it's not the point itself because I've talked to thousands of people, I mean, there are plenty of successful famous examples of this as well as every day couples. I have friends that watch pornography together, they have fantastic loving marriages. We get to this point or where one partner does and the other doesn't and they still have a loving happy marriage.

So I started going, okay, if it's not a problem across the board, we can just keep villainizing the thing because it's not a universal problem. There's factors here that influence whether or not it's a problem. Kind of like alcohol, like alcohol is not bad for everybody but for some people it's really really dangerous. The analogy I was just drawing in my head is there are a lot of families out there that have belief systems about what they eat, like there's certain people that

don't eat meat for instance and children are brought up that way and then there's that day that they're hanging out with their friends and they have a burger and they're like, wait a second, this tastes pretty good. This is not what I was told, you know, there's so many different elements but I think my takeaway from that is I talk a lot about in my book, the programming that

“we receive when we're young from our mother, father, teacher, preacher. That's why I always”

allow people to have their own opinion because I know how opinions are formed. You know, if I

go back to when I first met you, we were pretty much aligned but two people are never perfectly

aligned but if you have the sense about you to recognize that people are always just projecting some sort of a reflection of how they were raised and stuff like that and it's kind of how we parent kids too like kids say crazy stuff sometimes and we just say like oh well let's let you have a little bit more life one day and maybe you'll come up with something so yeah what I'm curious to know because we've had conversations and I know that you have a perspective about it but fast forward

explain to us a little bit about that moment because from what I understand, you know you didn't just entertain the idea you became like one of the top producers with this platform only fans.

“I mean that's that's what's so crazy about it is like you actually found a lot of success but”

what was the first moment when that possibility first entered your mind like I'd love to know

a little bit about that as a big jump you know so you probably kind of moved into it somewhat slowly but what was that first moment when the possibility entered your mind and what was the primary foundation that you made your decision? Okay so this is really interesting and I've been going to be a hundred percent honest with you there were three primary factors okay and and they're all compartmentalized into their own space the first one is we won't get into this one too much here

but there were personal factors there was some relationship pain some friend did something some stuff that happened to me where I was like screw it I don't care I don't care I I had six and a half years of abstinence and then I was like forget this like I just I had a personal breakdown a

either but there was this moment of you know I had been working my absolute butt off for five years

“building internationally reaching business in porn recovery as a woman as a really leader in the”

space before everyone in their brother had a porn recovery organization and people were telling

me like I've never even heard of this before when I started it on TikTok there was maybe one or two

other people doing it now it's much more common but it was extremely rare extremely unusual and I was really pushing that space forward but I had been working so hard that there was this moment of one day going what am I doing to my kids I'm raising future porn addicts if I'm ignoring my boys and yelling at them telling them to get out of my room because I'm working my butt off trying to you know build a business that is taking more for me than it's giving you know it's like

I've become a slave to helping other people with their problems while ignoring my kids so people are like oh you just did it for the money and I'm like I did it to be with my family more and there was this I got very deep into like Greek philosophy with that where I said you know what um the Odyssey really kind of shaped my thinking and I started thinking about how Odysseus moves through things and there's a quote from a song a musical that was written about the Odyssey epic and he

says ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves and I kind of started it really gotten to my head and I was like yeah like why am I trying to save people while hurting my kids so there was kind of this financial aspect of like I want to be a stay-at-home mom only fans is easier than recovery so there is that

“side we'll set that aside the third element I think is really really important and it's I started”

getting really worn down by realizing that I was teaching pseudoscience and that became very heavy to the point where I was like it was probably a six month phase where I was like I think I'm lined to people I think I'm part of the problem a couple examples of that is I realized we can go into each of these in depth if you want but I realized that guilt and shame is literally what causes addiction people who when we have control groups within pornography for people who believe it's okay

versus people who were taught that it's wrong the people who believe it's okay typically don't have any negative symptoms of addiction whereas only the people who believe it's wrong have symptoms of addiction and atheist can quit porn faster than somebody who's deeply religious so little things like that I just started seeing wait like by telling people on TikTok they have a porn addiction and porn addiction is bad and therefore people they go home and binge when they hear that stuff and so

I never imagined I had two separate accounts reach like top point two five percent so like top

zero like quarter percent two separate accounts so I don't know what that translates to but I had unbelievable growth and never imagined that happened I originally thought it would be ha ha I'm just gonna put not ha ha but like I'm just gonna post a few pictures myself to say I'm okay with my body I'm okay with nudity essentially I'm not scared of human bodies you shouldn't be either and then it spread like wildfire changed my whole life and I was like was that was unexpected

what was that like I mean that was a big decision and and it sounds to me like there's a couple of events that happened that you didn't really really go into but it sounds to me like part of it was you kind of coming out of your shell perhaps maybe a dated somebody or something and you had been this way for so long and maybe you just felt like but even before only fans you kind

of felt like wait a second I'm gonna allow myself to have a little bit of fun or allow myself to

to express myself is that safe to say that that's kind of what happened in those areas I don't know if it was I'll be honest there was I have you know Twitter jokes about this but I had a little bit of a feeling energy going into that it was more I don't want to say it was revenge but it there was a little if I'm honest you know there was there was this little bit of I've been hurt and I don't want relationships anymore and that was kind of my way of releasing the pain of what I had

been through and so it worked you know I know that better after that but it was more of like a releasing my pain but anyway again that was like a secondary aspect on the business side I took

“more than again I think I took about six months of thinking through that decision and then I”

had a solid month where I said okay I want to go this direction but I'm gonna spend another four weeks talking to my coach talking to my friends talking to the people in my life that it go to for mentoring and making sure that this isn't impulsive this isn't reckless that this is

for what they want and having so much compassion come have some of the huge part of it you know

“I had just talked to probably I don't know hundreds of thousands of men who shared their deepest”

darkest secrets with me who cried on the phone about the shame that they felt the and that just really started breaking my heart where I was like why do so many men feel so ashamed of like we've shamed men to believe that all lust is just for like I didn't I I wrote plenty of articles made plenty of videos on how like lust is bad and then then I just kind of realized that I don't know I didn't want to I didn't want to be like that anymore I didn't want to be shaming men for something

that's biologically natural yeah it's so fascinating you know because right now just knowing humans in general there's just all these bifurcations and fractions of people that are on different sides of this topic and like people that like used to be like oh yes how they're go and now they're like I hate her now and then there's also people that are saying like well welcome to the real world you know we're we're happy to have you so I I love that and you know

“just from my perspective life is something that's meant to be lived and you know you're living”

it and you were you were living in a bubble before whether you were on either side you know there's

people that have never experienced the benefits of religion and and that concept you know and

they're on the other side and they've just like have a totally different approach to it. Somebody commented yesterday on something I posted and they were like you know or maybe sent me a damn they said something like oh you know and a few more months you're just going to go back to teaching you know for recovery like everyone else does when they leave the industry and I I just kind of to that effect I think it's so funny yes we move in and out of these different ways of

thinking you know sometimes people will I know people who have you know grown up atheist moved into religion had these aha moments and then moved out of religion again and had new aha moments so it's like we flow through these different concepts different ways of being different ways of

“seeing the world and I think that's a beautiful process I'm not rigid with myself and I encourage”

people to continue exploring that and be open minded. How would you answer this question coming from where you're at right now? Do you kind of see this whole thing as a contradiction or more of like an evolution? How would you answer that? Yeah definitely evolution for me a huge part of this was also and I talk about this a lot in my YouTube channel I go into detail of exactly why I made this decision except a lot of people too um uh to explain that too and a lot of it had to

do with my transition to more of a kind of more of like maybe transcendentalism thinking as opposed to my religious background being more open minded that we each kind of discover our own truth in a way and that that's okay and then that's healthy and that what's healthy for one person may not necessarily be healthy for another and so just well I'll tell you one thing so many things I've been taught where at the end of the world and without going into TMI coming out of my six and

half years of absence kind of like your burger analogy I realized fully crap like I was so sick and it was absence it was making me sick like when I broke that I was like wow my body actually physically needs this I had problems with my menstrual cycle that went away immediately for you know seven years I've been struggling almost seven years I've been struggling with those issues and then they just went away and I was like I just realized okay well maybe what I've been taught through

religion through you know these rigid ideas and concepts of what sexuality should be right that should work everyone else telling me what I should do instantly I went wait that was wrong though that was wrong I was sick because of doing things where I should do them and it sounds like you kind of recognize that you were kind of doing that to other people as well you said before you want to be part of that in my own data and statistics I saw men getting more depressed and their

body becoming in some cases weaker not everyone some men experience strength from absence some

men experienced depression and hormone imbalance and so I realized wait a second this is not a

one size that's all we can't just blanket tell people how to be because that doesn't work yeah it's fascinating I mean there's so so many conversations that we could go off on there but it sounds to me like part of this was that you had to almost allow or reconcile something inside of yourself before dipping into this you took that six months sounds like you consulted with people that knew you well I'm so it wasn't something you just blindly did it it turned out to be a great thing

both financially but also opened you up but what was it that I guess what demon inside did you

to be able to do it because there's also the other aspect of like even if you didn't have this whole

“history with fight the beast and that whole story that potentially a very scary thing to do to”

you know let who knows who is watching so how did you go through that process like to jump into that

pool yeah a couple side points on that first of all one thing that definitely helped it not be scary

was the fact that there were already lots of deep fakes of me people are we're already using my content there was already like oh no what if your kids see something go guess what I was already making stuff of me it's like fine I felt that people are going to be saying so I've only my mind what is well which is a really worth that's a whole other topic really weird world we live in but it wasn't necessarily that I was working through a demon as much as it was I was exhausted by it so I had

been you know think about just my name by the beast because I was thinking about how can I just translate this company how can I evolve the company without going you know into the defense and I couldn't there was no way for me to edit my book I would have to just rewrite the entire thing I'd have to change the name moving more towards transcendentalism it's almost kind of incorporated my beliefs kind of shift in more to kind of just inner peace maybe more eastern religion I don't know

but I just realized I don't want to fight anything anymore and so even just the concept of fighting I had been in high masculine energy fight the beast super masculine logo super masculine brand I'd helped men in over 30 countries like this is a very masculine domain and I just got to play and where I just said I'm exhausted of trying to be a man trying to compete not compete with men but like I just couldn't do this masculine fight space anymore and I just kind of stepped apart

that was through relationship stepped into my own feminine and said look I don't I don't want to be fighting anyone I don't want to be opposed to anyone I don't want to be I don't know and I just

“I developed more love and respect not only for my clients so I think in the beginning it was like”

oh you what porn grows whereas over the course of five years I was like no these people are incredible normal people like they're they're happy people they're loving people these are good guys that I'm working with and I just about more love and respect for them more love and respect for girls in the industry where I was like no they're not they're not trashy horrible people like they have a beautiful story and I just now have just so much love and respect for everybody

that I couldn't fight anything anymore it's almost like the beast changed shape it's like

the beast was the fight now you know it's like you thought you were attacking we're always fighting

again something but sometimes just the fight is to just stop the fight so I want to get a little bit into the industry because you know we've got people that are like very knowledgeable about it and then there's people that are just completely on the other side maybe the side that you used to be in that are for whatever reason listening to this episode right now I always find it interesting you know my wife is a sex therapist and as you can imagine she's got a pretty interesting vocabulary

and experience in the world you know I mean there's kink and all kinds of stuff and we used to do this podcast together and we always found it interesting when we would look at our metrics how our biggest audience was like in the Bible belt you know I mean like there's just so many people that were probably like in their closets listening to that podcast I want to talk a little bit about like the ethics behind monetization but just to get some terminology down when people say

porn and think of only fans I mean who knows what they think about but do you feel comfortable explaining a little bit about like what somebody would see if you were at on your site because I mean I know that there's a wide variety of different things like do you have like lines that you want step across and that kind of thing well to kind of talk about only fans as a mole for a lot of

“people haven't been on the site I think as a whole the objective of only fans compared to other sites”

like porn hub is a lot more relational so people do kind of expect a relationship with the creators they want more of that personal contact there's messaging and so much more of a like you're connecting with this person not exactly one-on-one but there's more of that feel it's not a browsing scrolling website it's a messaging right website more so and yes there's a very wide range of what people do it's also a little bit cleaner of a site there's a lot of limitations of what can and

can't be posted for me when I decided to do that I had two main objectives I wanted to create

content that had never been created before and judging by I don't watch any kind of porn so

I don't really know what's out there and I've I've held true to that I still have not watched any other pornography or content I've just kind of created my own based on my own creativity that's

to know what's going on so you still have never watched porn like I watched one video of one girl

back then and she was it was just a solo thing and I really liked the girl on social media so I was like all right I'll just I'll do yeah I mean we had to kind of learn a little bit a little bit but yeah I haven't I haven't watched any kind of videos or anything I don't know I feel like it kills my own thing like I don't want to be competing with other people my stuff focus is on two things first of all I really wanted to do something really creative I put a lot of artistic effort into it very very like

complex photo shoots and scenes in a lot of my work and then the other thing is I wanted to create something that to me displayed the love connection and intimacy in my own version of sexuality

so many creators it's very you know there's there's the humiliation and I'm not

shaming any of those kings anyone can watch whatever they want and they can like it but so much of this was very like almost predatory I see a lot of pornography is very predatory

“towards clients and I just wanted people to feel loved and respected and I think a lot of the”

language that I use before after videos is I've done like a lot of affirmation videos I've done a lot of content you know for me focusing on breath work focusing on kind of more of a relaxation than that it would look at me doing this you know thing yeah I don't know it's just a different tone and different feel and I think I've been pretty proud of the way at least early on how I

created that I mean that's pretty creative so let's talk about like this this idea of ethical

monetization because you're making money from this and there's someone out there saying that you're a home record and all of that stuff you know and you know what I think you did a good job of explaining the whole guilt thing and if somebody is doing anything and it's wrecking their home it's not necessarily the thing that they're doing it's probably some other aspects but what does it mean when we say ethical monetization in that industry meaning how do you justify

to somebody that's listening making money off of doing what you're doing yeah so for me I care too much about the ethics to the point where I have a lot of fans that get mad at me because they want me to participate in this these very kinky conversations a lot of people like financial domination will come out and they'll be like can you ask me to send you money and I'm like

“no but I can be Dave Ramsay and tell you you need to be saving it like I don't waiver from my”

values for the sake of money and so so many of my fans are like please just ask me for money like I have people DMing me that request all the time and they get they get mad because I won't do it I'm like I am not here I'm like you can send something if you would like you know like I'm not going to say no but I just don't have that vibe I don't like that as far as monetization for me as I have looked at some other accounts didn't watch their stuff but I've seen kind of how they

do it the number one grossing person on only fans I even forgot our name everyone knows who she is her DMs are so predatory it's every five minutes all day long like why don't you like me why aren't you buying new content I sent you something five minutes ago she is you know a team of who knows how many people plus AI robots constantly doing this stuff all day long it's like please send me money I want you I can't send you pics unless you tip a hundred dollars right now it's like so emotionally like

guilt tripping and stuff and I just decided early on I'm not just being that if somebody wants to buy my art cool if somebody you know feels so inclined to you know they feel like what I'm offering is helping them feel at peace with themselves it's bringing them relaxation it's helping them to meditate at the end of the day cool then they can do that but I'm not going to guilt tripping

“shame people in like hustle and pimped myself that to me has always been really important”

I'm just curious to back in here in your voice and I've gotten to know you well enough that you're telling the truth you know in the industry of sales there's there's something called the no sale sale like when you don't do something and you're experienced when people ask you to do something and you don't what is the outcome that you typically see happen from that okay so you are you're tapping into look again I'm just gonna be honest with you there was a side of me so you know

I I didn't only fans for I'll just tell you guys a number just for fun so I did it for three months and I made about ninety thousand dollars in those three months and then I was like well it was like two months and then I was like whoa that was hold on that was like two years worth of money with what I was doing in fight peace so then I was like hold on I said that if I ever made this kind of money I was just gonna go back to being a mom so then I took the next three months off and I just

we're gonna go on some trips like I took them on a cruise I took them to Disney I was like I'm

gonna love you guys to death now because now I have the freedom to so there's this like roller coaster of my account where I was like super active took a hiatus now I'm doing it a little bit more

“I'm trying to like have kind of a routine with it but I remember there in the beginning it was an”

absolute whirlwind of things that I was learning about human psychology it just I mean every day my adrenaline was so over the top because there was kind of this effect where I realized that by being different my account group faster than I ever imagined and the point was to not do any of those things and to not get big and then somehow there was this like by being authentic by being kind I kind of created like this monster unintentionally so yes I learned about the no-cell

and there was a whole psychology behind that that I didn't tap into intentionally I have to clarify

it was interesting powerful but there's another thing that I learned I can't tell you how many

DMs I've received on only fans of people saying that I radically changed and healed their sexuality I've had people cry to me and be like thank you so much for what you've done here I've been calling for you for years but it wasn't until I watched ex video that I was actually able to heal and realize that I don't need porn anymore and that was incredibly powerful and that was my goal my hypothesis before doing this in that phase where I'm thinking through is this right is this wrong is this like the

most villainous thing that's ever been done in the history of the world the and I knew the repercussions of this I didn't expect it to go so viral but in that process I had a hypothesis that I could heal people faster by meeting them where they're at accepting them for who they are loving them anyway and helping them see the path forward and I wasn't wrong in that for a huge segment of people that is truly what they need it so I don't even know how to ask this question oh that's

going to two parts what are the things that you refuse to do like what's the line you want across and do you even need to cross that line because it sounds like there's a dynamic where the people are trying to like see if they can control you and you're you're not allowing it and there's like little bit of a game and to a certain degree I would love to know if that's a little bit fun for you as well from a human psychological thing not not not messing with people but it's probably pretty

interesting to see that push and pull so what lines will you not cross in the industry because I would assume people ask you to do all sorts of weird things and how do you see that manifesting in in your own mental health with that will last better yeah it's funny the amount of the amount of hate I don't know the hate that I was getting in fight the beast or the hate that I've gotten from only fans is greater because people are gonna complain no matter what you do and I do have a lot of

people that consider me to just be the most frustrating creator on the face of the planet because I do have like my lane and and my boundaries maybe part of this process I've been doing it for seven months I've had without sharing two main personal details my own kind of relationship dynamics in my personal life one of which I quit during that three months I quit for a part and I was like okay you know if we're gonna if we're gonna be talking I'm not doing any only fan so I've didn't

log on for three months and then kind of exploring a new relationship I'm trying to figure out

“how that works for me I just want to be true to myself and how I feel I think the reason why”

so many women in the industry who leave the industry have huge mental health issues afterwards we we talk about how bad it is for women I think that's because they break their own boundaries their own content and I'm very determined to not do that so for me I'm emotionally internally psychologically 100% monogamous as a person and so for me when I create art when I when I see kind of the stuff that I do on there I see it more as art it's very unpersonal I would say like I'm

not exchanging energy with anybody I might be displaying my energy but I'm not exchanging energy so I won't do anything live with an individual I won't sometimes I'll do acting for like custom videos or things but for the most part if it's not if it's not something that I feel

good about I just say no you know and I I always encourage people send me a request and if I want

“to do it or if I'm the mood to do it or if I think I can act authentically you know maybe it's”

not my king but if I think I can do it authentically maybe I'll consider it but I just have a really firm boundary there and I just kind of like take inventory and check my heart and like will I be happy

feel I don't know is it my thing if it's not my thing I don't want to do it I don't want to lose

energy to being fake so I just kind of play it by ear and it might you've all over time so I'm not

“saying like I will never that's why Z maybe I will I also said I would never make porn and say here”

we are but so maybe over time that could change but right now I just take a day by day and I'm like okay does this feel good is this like authentic energy to me what's the most amount of money somebody's ever offered you because I would assume there's some very wealthy people out there that want to control somebody with money what's the most amount of money that somebody ever offered to you that you said no to hmm that's a good question I I feel like I regularly get maybe I didn't

believe them maybe I blew them off because I didn't believe them I think I have received requests for

several thousand dollars at a time and I was just like like I probably just blew them off I don't

know if they were serious because for me there's kind of again part of me is like you should not be spending that money I spend five years in the life budget you know you should be doing that do you start teaching them like how to invest their money instead of spend it with you I have that's funny that a little bit a little bit if people are okay with that I will be like you want me to I've joked with people I was like they're like hey can you roll plates and

them and I'm like I can roll play Dave Ramsey like if that's if that turns you on I can tell you I can be a Dominator if Dave Ramsey turns you on you said something about hate you're getting hate mail and people are hating on you over here and over there so how do you respond to people that knew you and followed you back when because you started a very big movement and you know say something like you became the thing that you fought like you know and say how dare you

or something like that how do you respond to that I have had people pay me 200 dollars an hour to yell at me which is hilarious people have booked a 200 dollar consultation call with me and just bent it the whole time multiple times some of them call back to do it a second time so I feel bad that I triggered them so badly what was so interesting is in the beginning because I still had

active coaching clients and you know I had to explain to everyone here's what I'm doing some of

those people were deeply hurt like to the point panic attacks and I felt really bad but what was interesting is the more we talked it through the more at peace they became with themselves and their sexuality and with me and I had several people go I'm sorry I was judging you I'm sorry for literally sometimes yelling at me you're like I'm sorry for the way I talk to you I see now like I understand now while you did what you did I understand now how it's working maybe I don't agree

“maybe I wouldn't do it with myself but like I understand now and I think for a lot of people some”

of them were like really blew up and then they saw what kind of content I was posting and they were like oh this isn't what I expected this is still you you know this isn't you didn't like I think people were worried that I would like sell my soul and become the thing that they hate most but then they saw something new something different something with more soul in it and they were like oh maybe this isn't I had a lot of people come my way as far as the home record comments I

had a whole plan to create another company after only fans to work specifically with women there are so many things that women need to understand about their husband's sexuality I had like I had I don't know what exactly my success rate was with porn recovery clients but I had a hundred percent success rate with marriages and marriages was really where my heart was at keeping marriages together but so often I saw so much sexual abuse towards the husband from the woman whether it was

from withholding or shaming or and I would guilty about like I'm not gonna say that I didn't do that

“in my Christian wife era there's so much that I think women need to know about sexuality about”

pornography that they need to not fear it that they need to not be insecure because of it that they need to understand you know I had so many husbands who had come to me on a coaching call and they would say things like my wife is the most beautiful in the world I love her I care about her and they would be authentic with me and they would love their wife so much but because of different challenges maybe she wasn't willing to connect sexually she wasn't willing to have these conversations

with him she was withholding he's like I'm doing this to physically get off because I have pain in my balls if I don't release you know but he's like it's not because I don't love my wife so there's women just don't understand them sexuality and again I think you know yeah I think that's just projecting it's like ape-go point blame on somebody else not fix your marriage or there's a lot going on there it's a lot going on there I'm a bit naive when it comes to only fans you know but

guys are like running around with animals or something like that but I think that you're you're shedding light that you know I mean you've I've heard you used the word like you've referred to it as art and adding affirmations to it and stuff I think a lot of people are going to listen to this and still maybe not be okay with it and still maybe have a problem but I think that they're going

to be a little bit more enlightened that it's maybe not always what they think for the person

that still sees you as just the fight the beast because there's there's going to be some people that didn't even know there's going to be like oh my god what it's just you're either happening upon it you know because I always check back on my guests and I went to your fight the beast profile and then I was like wait a second what is that I thought maybe your account got a hijacked

“or something like that and that's how this conversation started but for the person that's still”

sees you as that fight the beast mission-based person who are you today how would you explain who you are today yeah like you said we're all we're all fighting something and I think if I were to say

what I'm fighting now I realized that the beast was not porn I thought the beast was porn

I thought it was the devil and porn and porn creators and porn stars and you know all these horrible dark things and then I realized that I think the beast is in most cases our own guilt and shame our own lack of being able to rationally do what's right for us those voices in our heads that I don't know that have that physiological effect on us that causes depression and anxiety and unhappiness and so now I think I'm still fighting the beast in a in a new way just trying to

help people realize that you get to choose you get to choose your own sexuality if you if only fans doesn't vibe with you great it doesn't vibe for me either guess what I'm not going to date somebody that's not only fan like happening I'm opposed to it in a way and I know a lot of people say well that that's hypocrisy that's not it to me it's not it's saying this is a free choice

“world you get to choose what you want who you want to be how you want to interact if you want to be”

healthy and what your version of healthy means you know you get to like with me you know there's you can be on the carnivore diet and have huge health benefits there are people with autoimmune diseases that can only survive on carnivore diet then there are people with other issues that can only survive as a vegetarian who's to say one of them's healthy and one of them's not or one of them's right one of them's wrong one of them's morally correct the other's not and so for me it's releasing

all of that and saying there is a need here there is absolutely the people who are on only fans many of them are on there for a reason because they either receive no love no human connection so some of these people do okay I'm not saying that's everybody but there is a huge

section of people on there who have never had a relationship who feel like they are unlovable that they

have never been on date I've talked to men who are virgins in their forties and they've just you know felt so isolated felt so unseen and I think that there's this need on there to for me to be able to connect with those people to say you're seen you're loved you're valuable you're a cool person now you know and just to build people up and and then for everyone who doesn't want it

“great live your life without it but don't go around being angry and that's what I've released”

and that's what I hope anyone listening to this who's angry about what I'm doing can also releases really sure anger understand that your perspective is not the only perspective that your needs or not the only needs if it's not good for you don't participate if it is good for you and you feel those benefits great cool good for you but everyone gets to choose yeah and the people that are walking around angry and feel justified in being angry that's okay too you know like

everything's okay what would Heather of 226 say to Heather that was on my show you know years ago what what would you say to her I think about that a lot I also think about what would like the teenage version of me or the child version they say like what and I think if I got to explain my position I think I would have been open to it I think that the things that I learned through transcendentalism through relationships through statistics you know I could have probably

maybe talked logic into myself or maybe I needed those experiences I don't know I know for sure at one point because I had actually since I was 18 years old people were telling me that I should be a stripper that I should be a dancer that I should be an only fans model I got those comments all the time especially with fight to these who was five years of my number one

even people close to me family members like people like dated we're always like you should do this

“and it was a weird world for me and I I always rejected because I was like no I don't want to hurt”

anyone I don't want you know children to accidentally see this and then I got to the point where I realized well first of all it's already out there second of all only fans does require an ID which is again why I chose to go with that website because they have to ID verify you to have an account so I felt a little bit safer there but also it's just this idea of everyone's gonna choose what they're gonna choose so I don't know how would I have felt about that I'd reject it so much I

felt very triggered very much like I would never want to be a part of the problem I would never

want to hurt a relationship I would never want to hurt a kid but yeah just since realizing

that's not that's not how that works you don't it's just it's an incorrect view of how people function it's it's a very controlling view that's another thing I would say there was this fight mode but then there's also this control mode I felt religiously obligated to control other people and treat other people like children for five years through five of these I was treating

“men like we need to take away the candy or they won't behave right and I think that was a very”

immature view of men and I realize wait men get to do what they want they are rational beings they can make their whether or not we're rational being that's a whole other thing but for the most part we can say okay well if you want this you choose it I'm not gonna sit around being the guard of the cookie jar like that's insane and I don't it's so fascinating because you know this is obviously a topic that everybody talks about and curious about only fans but you could take this conversation

in any industry for or not just recognize that human beings get to choose the way that they look at things and what they think about things and a lot of my work is just pointing out you know I teach this thing called the interface response system which begins with me pointing out and saying well are you aware of where you got your perspective from and your opinions from or do you think that you came up with that on your own because I know that if I had a conversation with who I am now with me

years ago he would be like you're out of your mind dude you know you know what you're talking about because he didn't know some things you know so we live and we learn I have a daughter and I know you do too and for me like I don't even want to like a guy like talking to my daughter you know because I'm in like that paranoid dad phase but I'm I'm getting there I'm loosening up a little bit but the idea of her doing something like this scares me in one sense but that's because it's my

daughter what is the financial autonomy of women look like in 2026 and going on because to a certain degree somebody like you who's and what what I'll say to the to the everybody in the show is I can't tell you how many times we tried to do this podcast episode with Heather at that

when we had to cancel and the reason why is because she's like always with her kids right I

so I just want everybody to know that she's a fantastic mom to the point where she's impossible to tag down so let everybody know that what is your stance on all of this the industry and

“what would you say to a 15 16 year old girl saying like hey should I do that one day?”

Yeah so let's track a couple components here because I want to comment on a bunch of factors here one is what I would say to any of my kids in general so we'll come back to that as far as the financial piece for women it's been really fascinating because I've been self-employed since I was 17 years old I've never worked for anybody so I've always been radically independent I've always been self-employed I've been single for more than seven years I think ten years total I've been a single

mom so you know I like I didn't need this in order to be that way I also think with AI moving forward I don't know what anybody's autonomous can look like it it's hard to say because so much AI porn is out there now that it's almost like do we need humans for this wire people still even looking at my content like there's it's a very interesting space it has definitely had a profound impact on me people call me unstable whatever I don't care the first three months where

I was doing it I was like happy crying like multiple times today because it gave me so much safety that I didn't have for the last seven years as a single mom and it gave me that financial piece of mind like everything is going to be okay no matter what happens and it was huge my kids felt the difference their mental health got so much better when they were like mom can just mom doesn't have to like even little things like just I have three kids it's expensive having three

have a homestead animals I was never broke but also just going from okay guys we have to you know

it's a 30 minute drive home but we can't get fast food right now because you know money you know I have a budget to okay we can eat out and I'm not stressed about it and I'm not all I'm also not going to yell at you to be quiet because I'm working or I'm not going to push you guys away because I'm stressed that just radically changed everything for me as a single mom now I will say that's sucks because I don't want my kids to be single parents I don't want them to ever be in that

position where they have those stressed out emotions part of that for me was saying you know maybe

“I didn't choose to be a single mom but what's the next best thing I think that's the thinking”

that we have to have a lot of times is what's the next best option here well being a stressed out single mom is a lot worse than you know like I just wanted to yeah to in some ways prioritized my kids there but let's go back to that question of what would I tell them because I think it's been a while but I think at the time they kind of knew I don't know what they knew but I think they all kind of knew because I was doing a lot of photo shoots and they were like I remember my 12-year-old son

said to me at one point he said you of all people mom really and I said look dude you guys are my priority and I want to make sure that we have a happy home life because that matters a lot more than rigid values and they were like okay I made it so they were like all right cool I don't again I don't know how far they knew of things but I could sense that my daughter said something I was like you have a really good intuition okay as far as that you know I wouldn't want my kids

to be in that industry there's one creator that I really love she always talks to girls publicly

“online and she basically says as many other creators do you have to really love this industry like”

any job don't do it if you don't love it I love human sexuality which is why I was teaching fight the beast I love talking to people about their sexuality you know your wife she does what she does she it's a topic she loves I'm sure right this is a topic I love I don't think that's right for everybody you know like if it's not if if your child loves talking about it loves taking photos loves creating content sure you know it's I don't think it's gonna hurt them as long as that's truly

what they love a lot of people I had a friend blow up and like block me and then came back and apologize for it but he was like I was scared what was gonna happen to you I was scared what was gonna happen to me and my friends was gonna happen to you because he had to experience with that and I was like no like I actually love this I'm not doing it because I'm desperate I'm not selling myself because I'm desperate I'm doing this because I enjoy it because it's something I'm passionate

about um as far as girls you know I I still want to continue to teach my boys but not from a shame perspective like I still think the healthiest way of being is probably to avoid this but we also don't like movies we stay off technology like I want a technology pre-life and I want to empower them to also have a technology pre-life I don't have social media anymore I've laid in my TikToks my Instagrams because I don't need them anymore I don't want to be a part of that world

daughters with girls are very insecure and again I said I wanted to start a women's organization potentially to just help them and realize like don't be insecure you know and how to empower women to not compete with girls on the internet to not feel like they need to realize that I've heard so many men say that their wives were just the most beautiful wonderful person on the planet it didn't matter what they look like I've heard men be like I love my wives stretch marks

and well I've got my own weird defects and for people to not care is just to me really funny it's contrary to what a lot of women believe you know we have these I do really want to teach and empower my kids that idea of do what you love do what's right for you don't do anything that makes you feel bad but I'm not going to put those thoughts in their hands they have to explore them figure out for themselves yeah here's the craziest question I'm going to ask you today

how would somebody find you so at the end of podcast we always say yeah so what are what are

your your connection channels and stuff if somebody here's this podcast or watch this video where would you direct them yeah you know because I got rid of my website all of my social media it is almost impossible to find me there is I'll tell you there is one link available

“I think people can still book calls with me if anyone wanted to it's links dot fightthebeest.org”

I think is still available and running and people can say you still do coaching not really um I can't like I have I'm not really I'm very picky who I coach it's not just a publicly available thing anymore um I do still offer sometimes some sessions right

developed and it's actually when I develop this is how I got to only bands because I started

identifying the root cause of people's addiction and I was just blown away I was like this is not what

“I expected right um so I do that and then I think that link you do have an only fans”

site or something like that I do I have to so technically I think my screen name on there one of them

I don't like sharing this I'm not promoting myself okay you guys but I will share just for the

people who are curious links dot fightthebeest.org has all of my links on there including the only fans but you can also go I think my name there is just Heather Nielsen they can find it there also YouTube they can find me on YouTube I'm awakened with Heather another one of my only

fans accounts as well awakened with Heather so only fans is on YouTube no I use that screen name in

both places okay gotcha understood well listen I'm so happy that we got to do this I learned a lot you know it's it there's I'm just a busy guy love my wife family guy I don't even have time to even know about any of this stuff right now but but I mean I'm aware of it and I know that in many families it's causing a lot of trouble I know that a lot of people don't know anything about it but have decided that they hate it and I know that some people would probably like it a little too

much and I'm sure we have a whole host of all of those people listening to this right now but I know for sure that they probably have not run into anybody like you that you know has this story but also takes this approach so I think it was refreshing it's perfect for for this show the ideas

“to always provide people with an alternative perspective and I'm pretty sure that that's what we just”

did so I want to just thank you so much for your willingness to have this I was telling my wife I'm like I got to get this interview with her before she disappears because I think she's just gonna disappear off the map so I'm so happy that we did this and I hope that you're you're happy with the the way it went as well I think it was a good episode so thanks for being here that's it for today to support the make sense with Dr. JC podcast be sure to subscribe like and share as well as

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