Ep 604 - Tyler Gerben (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)

We do have the chessboard out the show, buddy. This is the premium. So we think about this is what we do. Dude, you gotta get him in the telegram. Me and Spod come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours. Luckily we have more and then we have three thumbs. We're in spanking split with all these girls with Spod that too, all of them. Yeah, they're fucking main people have to be like 13-year-olds because if you like it actually sell multiple chess or a dude like 13-year-old boys like

Hey, I want three girlfriends. Yeah, that would be sick. It's like dude. That's fucking you're me trying to sell that to regular dudes

“Like regular adult men that like I can't get one girlfriend. Yeah, fuck of these guys. So I'll come up. That's what means”

We're talking about that the other day. The dudes are like don't chase them dude. Yeah, if you don't chase They'll come days like dude, they won't Yeah, if you can now you exist

Yeah, you just go to your job. Go back home. Go to your job. Go to your job. Go home. You're gonna be the machinist. I'm never gonna chase

Pulsies No one knows you live. Yeah Dude, it's all invisible. They kind of have a point within the guys to get really sucked into it like Louis looks out on those documentaries The dudes sitting there. He's like growing them a little bit and then the guys like yeah, well, you know, I'd probably my dad I didn't really I have a strong male figure and they're like what have you your days like I took his own life and it's like dude. How's he find these guys?

Like Louie just rolls up on him. Yeah, he's the best. He's how would you on his like that's one of the best documentaries The Scientology scale. You better not get that you This loop and actually would yeah, you better. Yeah, dude. Who are we talking? Yeah, we worry for you would be a Scientologist Scientologist You will what if you go over if you give them all your money, it'll make all your dreams come true What if they were like you will be the next time. This is what they did

Okay, I know exactly how he operates. We're like, I'm gonna fuck about this for a little jump. I'm just doing. We give it shit I did listen to Lawrence writes book on yeah, the guy on clear and clear. Yeah

“I thought that was great when I read it or listened to it. You wouldn't consider joining the church. No, why why would I all your money?”

They'll bone smash you Oh, then you'll give me a job. We'll be to Tom Cat dude. You'll be the next maverick Wow, it's dark. I'll be you would do it with a heart beat Yeah, you're definitely roosters of it. Yeah, so you're the guy Yeah, that's tough and so I just and you know like what's my obligation? You give them all your money. Oh

Oh, oh my money. Oh your money. No, no, it goes beyond that your obligation is for billions of years Yeah, you started I'm sure you started a million here. You got a living out of space. Yeah. All right, then no That one living out of space and you're miserable, what you don't want to be in fucking M.I. 13. That might be It might be the only technology that can save Mary and all the rest of the galaxy for millions of years. Yeah Could be could be I mean

I'll try to put S.P. I like the political answer though. You don't want a disparate sorry dog It could be maybe the rough dispensary. I don't think that it is you could have disparate signs. Yeah, I just did it

Role me although never could be down crews are you familiar? We're familiar with squirrel busting. I don't know what squirrel busting is

No, it's when sign-toll just get on your ass and they start to fuck your day up

“It's called squirrel busting. That's what they do to suppress of people. Oh”

You guys didn't listen carefully plus begin squirrel buses did I got a kid I don't know where these fucking are we by our days suck You know the sign-tollity Once you get into it though like at some point that could have been Christian or everyone's like to The guy fucking made it up. You just wrote a bunch of books and now is it? I'm just sad day

I'm just saying they could be like that Out here's for now. So what do I do? Yeah Checkmate. They do not say there. There's a year for now. So I'm gonna be like doing for the real That's not funny to say that's on your dog I don't respect positive. It's chess and it's five day. I think I talked with this before, but when I saw that

Sex cult documentary. Oh, yeah excess or whatever. What next time next to him at the end of that when the women were like outside the jail He's in jail, and there's like women outside the jail for Mary. He's ordinary. He's why he's kind of tangential to absteen going I was like I get killing Jesus because There's a point to where like And then they do it like that

What Jesus for this guy is just I mean granted cooler heads up for bail I thought you'd talk about the middle of Riley more women out here What are you talking about? Why are you talking about killing Jesus? I'm just saying. Hold on. I was just I'm not trying to be anti-Semitic. Yes, but what you just said was fucked up

Well, it's already two soon and I just said the juice. Fuck the third temple dude. I call you shit. Oh

I'm Red Hat's fucking spottles. You're you know, you've got a you got a society and then somebody's doing You know this and it's just like a women are coming into this cold every's getting sick

Yeah, you know, no, that is true though. That's exactly actually what happened to jeans was the Romans were like all right The Jews are going nuts like back in Galan and then like all right dude I don't get you know, I don't give a fuck. What you guys talking about he's like a money for outposts and that's the story They told us you know

True that they're not the truth obviously, I don't know you know, I would never dare to just throw out the truth by her the historical books about it

Very funny about Jesus when you think about like so Jerusalem I can build a little Riley they're killing Jesus it's a little Riley really a chat GPT before anyone as far to have 20 bucks Killing my girl. It was it was like Jerusalem was a It was during what what the holiday was it was a Jewish holiday pass over. It was Tell me I'll leave the last summer stuff. Yeah, that's okay. My palm blade. Yeah, so Jerusalem was just packed

Like ten times more that usually was so it was like a hundred fifty thousand Jewish people and there was like 50 like 50 Romans in a garrison. That's all they had and it was already like

“It's already a hop-ed the sure the Judea they were getting wild over there, but then I'm playing then they were like you need to kill him”

And they were like dude if we don't kill this fucking guy, they're gonna storm their fucking garrison. It's just thing Yeah, it was you guys a hundred percent. I get a lot of fake shows about how many punches. I think they're doing passion too I've heard that I've heard like but I get here with so many fears that come back the resurrection Yeah, dude. You fucking know it's like I have the hot water was good Yeah, that was embarrassing. It's me getting it with fake. I was just talking about Harry Potter

I was just walking around talking about a JK dogs. I mean, it's not an original people have covered this But how base she is how funny that is she hates us. Where's it talking about the the green guts of the bank? Oh, yeah, she made it. Yeah, everyone down. It's what just get on Twitter bill again. It's weird. We need to shut them fuck Like yeah, it's like it's like Secret he's selling hard times. She's crazy. I don't know she's not crazy

It was just base dude. She has book fifty billion dollars. She read the most popular book of all time. Yeah, she's like yeah, she gets on Twitter. It's like yeah It's shut the fuck up. Let's be it

“Like it's great. It's got it. I mean, probably no one has taught her what they're doing a lot of it has time”

If you write all those Polymer Henry movies, she's probably got I mean to imagine what she said behind closed doors about check

True. You shouldn't have never heard before. You have the tweet about trans people. You know what that means you're saying behind

Holy shit. It was like wine dude. She could be. She's good drunk on wine and hit that to it Thank God your parents don't do it. Oh my God. Yeah, what would your parents be in? Oh, don't let me tell you I get I see it seven's on every Continent. I have like good Phil conversation. I called Phil to be like, yo, you hyped about your boy You're fucking boy going to war with our and you fucking ice about it because I do is I knew his take

I knew what it was gonna be you guys like. Oh, yes, Shane, would you want to fucking get blown up It's like by you. He's like, I ran. They can't have a new Shane I was like dude. I'm not gonna get blown up. I might get blown up now now there. It could be a terrorist attack. Yeah, he's like yeah 'cause fucking that idiot before Trump let all those fucking terrorists into the country. He just every four years

“Yeah, we were each back then. Yeah, we were doing really good. Yeah, that's what my parents are”

Big my mom's big on Jesse my dad always tries to hit like I don't watch that shit and then like I go he calls me from Florida

He's like What's the fuck's news app? I was like it's YouTube TV now. You don't need a fox news app But how do I know what's on? I was like it's live TV. It's just on an app dude Think how good it must feel. What's that shit? I said I canceled the Fox one. Oh, they kill your third do they they sneakily subscribe You should I'd be five months and it's literally cable

Giving us it's like my dad getting five hundred dollar Comcast bills dude. That's what it's for is ripping off old people Prime does commercials now Netflix is gonna do commercials. Oh, yes, so yeah, it's gonna be 1899 regular Netflix You get commercials. So like in the middle of your special will be like commercial. No, I know that And that doesn't describe 25 bucks. I had to have this discussion. What the fuck is that dude crazy nice The second kingdom is made for TV. I

I did I said that you can't I don't want to do it. Yeah, that's ever and then they were like well We can have it like presented by a product. So it'd be like chillet beautiful dogs presented by fucking dude woods No Man's cape. See I'd do like native ads with your jokes. You start with you. They have now products You start to understand up like UFC fighters just everything all over your

Sure, yeah, so I should go out. Sure. There's just a fucking tight Me nuts. Yeah, they're just a UFC of the tiny penis sticking out no cup Did they wear nob stickin out UFC? Yeah, dude. Oh, dude. They didn't did you too Not knuckle during a fight. Yeah. It's a smell. Tiny or penis when they're a fight Especially if you're clinched off like that. They kind of sucks it on itself for too long your dick's enough

It's part literally my bushy is hanging over my feet feels like a clip Well, now I'm thinking about that. I'm super Mario right now all the super Nintendo cross like a like an autistic kid And tell my back hurts and then I get up my dick's like inside my so on the carpet. No, I'm on a bed Damn, I wish you were on the carpet. No, I can't do that. I was wrong. I'm gonna hit the mom down He did

Chill dude. You're gonna get my dad pissed off talking about that true fucking mom Dami is not your mayor. I didn't know the baby you were kind of a giant house like that

Yeah, that was crazy. I didn't know the guys who bombed it at it. That was amazing

That what do we do it? You said it was ready to get in a bottle. Thanks, but let's get I brought it up. Let's do it. Did you stretch it where they turned into that?

“I regret saying guys like deliberate psychologists or the crests go real crazy. Well, you should've said that”

Well, but guys fine. Yeah, good. I'm a god that weighed on your soul. It did weigh on my soul But not for the reason you would the way man, it was just you know Go ahead, talking about killing Christ. You know, I was just saying saying he's probably that worse You said earlier earlier in the podcast. He said I understand why we killed Jesus. No, I said I would just say I said You could only find eight while dying. Oh, yeah, well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry

Fucking Republic Come on. You got the messages headquartered. Gary's is a foaming who's square dances Gary's is a fox and he's probably every Jewish fan of four foxes foxes republicans. Oh, well, it's funny. He took that Got a fucking woman But you know, I mean what I was suggested. Well, you know, it was that not of course

You don't have to cover it. Yeah, it's fine, and also they already clipped it, so okay. Yeah, you're good

They're never gonna they're never gonna

“Well, he says he feels bad about when he said it he understood why they killed Jesus”

I'm just saying why somebody would say we should kill this that's already being joke rules No, I'm trying to say we're just right your boss. Okay. Oh, Bob. Oh, yeah, but they're not gonna put this part in the clip Just gonna be you doing that You just obviously the concept of a nuisance a social and nuisance Jesus You know, not to say that Jesus, but you might you know, my general understanding is that at the time

There was also like a lot of Messiah's air quotes The customers this with a T.J. If I need you this is old Hebrew school This is Hebrew dog is I don't know something to it. There's only one show you how to say chose use guys as the chosen one. I mean Good Lord you know what it was we went to Yeah, I'll tell you exactly what his triggered. What did you do on birthright when you went you went didn't go. No, nice

Get that's gone That's tough. I mean here you go. Oh, but you're gonna be swimming in a pussy and tell us all so I'm coming. It's actual kind of a cool world Jewish necklace I can't wear at it We got that true What's that?

Oh But what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah, because we went to this animal expo and then like how yeah I did tell you that grab the cat. No, no, it's just an old guy And some guy was like, oh, there goes that Jewish guy, so that sort of like in my head that you yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, too his friend. What yeah, it was just like a thing that I don't know. Did you all yeah, you don't you're like a day walker

“Yeah, yeah, you don't really like well, I think it's just from the show or what you know”

Oh, no, no, it's not not your bed. I just did I play that Yeah, they went through a cat X. We went to a cat. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was fucking a video Cat she's put it. I went to a judging cat. Are you serious like they took him out of a? Yeah, they wouldn't want to show you that. Yeah, you look at the cats now. This is like a blue Russians. This is nice. It was sick But there's guy this guy. It was walking by with his main canoe apparently he lost because he was fired up

But yeah He's doing the front row He goes for

He grabs the ball. Oh, he's the guy's like you motherfuckers do show cats never thought of that

It was hard. Yeah, as soon as I heard about I was like we got to get there. Look at this Holy shit. They got his main coupons You got to get you guys. How come this is on TV like the dog one that's no one cares Oh, shit. That was great. Yeah, it was it was a wonderful experience I didn't know there was

Jewish hate at the cat eyes who knows it was hey. It was just like house every year I didn't know it's it's every day anymore It doesn't stop it doesn't stop but then I'm done It's doable, but that's who will add really actually affected me in our style A couple of couple bruises

Oh, yeah, what's your what you see about Jesus? That is exactly what I was worried about getting no that the mom-domy thing where you guys are so Order they came on doming up bomb yesterday. What do you mean that there's these two psychos?

Add his house over the protestors over the protestors. No, it's over the pro immigrant protestors at the anti-immigrant Oh, I thought it was that it's out front of the script sure, but it was at the protestor. It was at the it was at the Patriots Whatever, but they're making cool anime like fucking reals. The animators are starting to work. Yeah, I like it But now the kids who did it they have they live in like a five-bedroom four bath house in police County. It's nice

Is she at all that? Well, what happened their house is crazy the guy that through the bomb? Yes, it always is like that

Yeah, little weed you go. It's never broke guys doing political stuff. It's obviously dude. They can't get to New York

“You'd have to give them jeez. I always saw that I was like why aren't these guys at work?”

They're what you thought the Muslim terrorists were throwing that at his house on down. Yeah. Oh, whatever No, they I think they were throwing it at a Face it off goes like that figure. I make it up. I don't even know if he's a white nationalist. Yeah, I don't know anything It's kind of just gone with what I'm feeling lately. I actually I kind of agree with they make shit up. Yeah, I like it Disinfase kind of you don't people I'm gonna open the straight-up or moves

Any time someone's like they're closing the straight no oil is going on. I'm gonna open it I'm going over there. I'm opening it and they go gas is gonna be $130 a barrel. No, it's not Boy, it was 130 this way. I had no sense. Yeah, I thought you'd add with the trump. I do $4. Oh, yeah, that's gonna be good You gotta do that. Oh, no, I start making trombone. They were doing the Biden. I did that Your my dad was doing like he was 16 years old a lot

Oh, the year was doing yeah, you dad was you got like 50 oh

“This amazing they're in his whip. They're all over the place on his dashboard on his dash and his well”

They will go clerk. Yeah on this go car on the dash on like the fuel there's Biden point. I did that You know how awesome that feels Who you getting this fucking assholes making my gas expats this thing? You know a decor my dad said he went by the I mean they're funny

It's amazing. You'll never feel like that. I wish I had a side that like I wish I could pick a side that

Your foot was I could just buy in no kind of what when I ordered there's white rabbits that was I was right. Yeah. I was on drugs My dad's so good. It would be so nice to be like I'm right. Oh, yeah. It feels good They figured it out the guy I listened to actually is right about this believe me But they went by the ice protest or the no kings or whatever and it's all old people too So like all the old people in swathmore are doing like no kings pro. Yeah

The no kings was definitely for the geese my dad drives by in a Nissan pathfinder that he got. It's a 98 path honorary boss like 3 Gs It looks at all and just starts the internet. This is a good. Oh, eight. Yeah. No, you've a drone. We got old one Oh, yeah, he just days like I just went with this to him. He had sick. They must have been fifth Do we watch the great like little conspiracy real where it was like they got rid of all the cars when they did cash for clunkers All that was to like yeah, no, that's cash for kids

So it's trade things Pennsylvania What are we not let them know that? No, I'm just saying careful all the stuff. Oh, we allowed to know that cash for kids is fucking us nobody talks about the shameless area Oh, don't know. We allowed to talk about cash for kids. Yeah. Free cash for it. It's a card for kids That's good central PA lawyer. Yeah, yeah, what cards for kids cash for kids. It's straight is I'm on familiar. Oh, yes, you're like a prison system thing. Yeah, I missed that I am on familiar

No, the cash for clunkers shit. They like there was a good ass video about how they use it just get rid of every reliable But we had reached like such a peak in analog engines Then they were like no digital ones with kill switches on star. How are we gonna get rid of all these awesome cars pull it off But it was actually we did bump it in real time only 680,000 cars Cash didn't so it didn't really have an effect. Yeah, that's not much. Yeah, I did bump it. So it's jury still up

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I'm afraid of AI. I don't trust the bottom. I know it's great. Like Joan that Jones

“Dog in trouble that's very good the beginning of that that you know that's how we get plugged in the matrix did at the end of that”

We're plugged in like that. I don't give a fuck about a video games aren't that good yet But no once video games get real good, then I'll go damn AI's out of control and AI can't even find it all fine This me and Bill are looking for an old meme. How do you better graphics? Yeah, I'm trying to find a real. We're finding an old meme from like 2016, maybe it was 2011. No, it was when oh, it's it's old It's a meme of George Bush. I swear to God. I don't know what's happening

What do you mean then conversation right now? I'm sorry. We fucking left 10 minutes. No, I'm just a fuck It's probably funny. There's a me. They're probably funny. You talked about cash for Trust they I did come I did like that. Yeah, there's a meme that we're looking for so Billy's like dude. Rogan's got a propuxity get this out. We're looking for this meme of We're talking about you name job Rogan like that. No, I was talking to I brother was on Rogan dude

I can get us in touch with propuxity my brother did Rogan dude

“I know Rogan spades 17 dollar propuxity and then I was like dude”

It's like all of them in one because he was using groc and groc is kind of ass. Yeah, groc sucks And then he started using propuxity. That's I'm investing in AI and defense contract right now But he's George Bush drawing the floor. Yeah You want to see that you've definitely seen it. It's a meme of George Bush handing off a full Later. He was his open dude. I just opened it. What it's a meme of George Bush handing a football off to Obama in a poppy faith in a poppy field

And like oh, some of them lines in the background and there's also lead to suck the skies You know, yeah, who made this? It's an old meme. Oh, I'm like the king of me. But for flexing it's fine I've all began to skinny pull ups, bro. Yeah, you look all up over and over and over. You could get fucking tier one operation We'll try to do a handstand push-up 10 hands. I know I heard he doesn't mad. I need to do eight push-ups That's good. You know Kirby's looks like a tier one operator today shred it went to the gun range. That's right. We went to the gun range

He the whole time. I'm like you're gonna love it. He'd never fired a gun. I was like it's so sick

You're gonna love it. So as we get in there a couple loud pops from down the range. He was like I'll shit you hate all of their strikes. Yeah, you called it in the cobblestone strikes. Yeah. I was it. Oh god, they're in here blowing I found them Bombs without a siren. Yeah, I clear them I didn't think I was gonna claim up and when he should be in walks

Oh, you brother now. He said some leaflets to the range first He said I'm gonna blow this up tomorrow. So everyone clear out No, it is scary dude fucking go the range. It's like it is it's very it's very especially right when you get in there Oh, yeah, like the first like five ten minutes it going in there You're like holy shit. I'm a pussy dude. I'm so scared and then alright alright the guy giving us all the guns and showing us how to do everything was

Seems like tear one out right dude. He's like all right. This is what you do you flip it through the fucking slap there's now you good to go Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know what single thing you just said to us a machine gun I'm like so you got fucking start over Yeah, he's like this is your working place. All right. This is your fucking workspace. Now you fucking do that Do they coach the coach you there like yeah a little I think he was I'll be honest like I was a little fast and loose

I liked him. He was it, but yeah, I think it was the nature of our group. Yeah. I would have preferred Potentially that net net net, not that you know again for a man. He was the man. You were just scared I was scared so I think I wanted somebody to be like he started yelling at him. Well, he's giving him the

Honestly the first one. Yes, because he fired he fired one round. He had a fucking silence around it and no kick

It was literally the gun I have oh, it's literally just No, it's a fucking asshole. Yeah, it's like a it's a carbine that fires a fucking nine millimeters So it's a gets your shoulder. Yes, so it doesn't move. Do you the shotgun? He fired at war backs Wow, he fired one round. I was just like okay And then because he was then I was like well, let me just do something for me

“Let me just do something like smaller. We're handguns. So he had a glock nine. I think that's what it's called”

What if the police handgun was it's way worse than that way worse. So he like fired it and I was I told you guys before him But like I wasn't even expecting a shell to come out that fast and it's just like the immediate violence the noise and then the shell coming out I was like no That just it's the daggers try to be a team fire and take video. I was just like I know. I feel like it was a little ride that I want to get off of the I mean best was just so he's got I thought it was the headphones and then I realized you were actually screaming at the guy

I thought I was like maybe he thinks he's he's talking he's talking to out cuz of the headphones No, he was yelling the guy was like all right. You fucking do them here. Here you go. And he was like I didn't understand every piece that you're gonna start out I didn't say it like that. I was like yeah, I had a smile on my face, but then so then they wheeled in a

The shoot. Oh, yeah, yeah, so then I watched everybody else do it. It was 50 cow No, but it was It was sick. Yeah, but Kirby's it was nice to watch Kirby's mushroom the courage

And he did it. He fired one bullet. He fired one bullet from the first gun. Yeah, and then stood in the back the entire time

I was like this just get a state of rescue the whole time and then a machine gun came out and he fucking did it

“It was pretty sick. That's all proud of you, Kirby's dude and then how about that adrenaline?”

It's like the moment I came off that was like yeah, yeah, yeah, where's the skulls? I know what they're all you're gonna do. What is this? It's so easy. It's a lie. I'll bring it to his guy on a gun wrench It starts shooting the floor Oh, you know, I thought it's right there. He's one of those other targets. I need to say

But great, you know Another Jewish. Yeah, like if well, she's ditching the seal. Oh, she was hitting everything Especially before we go in she's like I'm good at everything. I'm such a good shoot like a shot Yeah, she gives in there hits the fucking wall and they're like dude. You cannot hit the wall The tray. That's great. She's you cannot. That's dude. The one time his brother took me

He was like, dude, this is gonna be awesome. We rolled in. There is a guy on a date It was like a snow bunny black Panther party situation and I was like yo I was like scared. It's kind of like dreads down here and he was like waving like a fucking

AR15 type thing around this is at eighth and spring garden finally up the inner city of a small room

That's your thing dome someone and cope it dude. And I was like we all had minutes. Oh, wait They got killed someone. Yeah, they tried to break into his fucking spot. I think it's that one And more in that area. They fucking come in and just sit in there dude like Camin we need to see this around. He's like oh, this is finally your luck. It pops up to kill Dude's died. That guy's the man. Yeah. Sandagram. Also there's nothing in all your whole life for that moment

Nothing makes me happier than seeing black dudes and white dudes together at the range did. I was scared though I was like yeah, you go. Oh, we're it. We're yeah. This is it Too able. He's getting together. I didn't realize it was uh so expensive though The ammo. Yeah, why a lot of money. It's not good. They treated us really good. That was awesome. Oh, yeah, at least it's awesome But yeah, Kirby's are you in a purchase? It's some point. Yeah, I'm gonna go back for it. I'm gonna shoot the glock nine

Like that I that's fun to shoot yeah, that was one that after the machine gun that felt like I got my chair

“House enough fucking bonds gun PB7. Yeah, the PB7 dude. Yeah, you should”

Yeah, Boba three, but it's gold nine, bro. This is what I'll say about that talk. This'll get his answer That should be you'll be new them you you'll be the next one suck it on a smile You want a piece of shit. Look at him in a touch. You should go outside instead I felt that would calm me down. That's what I was saying. Out the word gun ranges are a lot better Okay, but that gun range was cool and they had like the head. Yeah, that was smoking section. It was like

Fake swear warehouse. Yeah, I want to see girl again. We're fireplace. Usually the best indoor range I've ever - Yeah, yeah. - You're like a show thing where they have a lot of... - Oh, yours? - Me and Lion Armor? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Keanu Reeveship? - Yeah.

- He's nice. - Shane did that. - John Wick? - Yeah, I go there. - If John Wick was one new one, off four movies, if that was one movie, it'd be the best movie I had. - Yeah, one. - I agree.

- The White John Wick's like a Dodge Challenger commercial. - Some all at one, like all at one. - It was one of them. - And I was like, "Dude, I wish that was just one movie." - The first John Wick, I just watched randomly. Like, no one was talking about.

It was like right when it came out. - Fuck, great. - And I was sitting there watching, I was like, "Let's see this piece of shit, maybe Keanu Reeves' action movie, fucking dog shit," halfway through. I was like, "It's one of you the best movie I've ever ever had."

- I haven't seen it all. - I watched it tonight. - It was when I lived in Kanchak and then I brought Matt over. And I was like, "Bro, check this out." - That's all. - Wait, did you see this? - Earlier, yeah, he saw it with meat, like immediately.

- And then he was like, "Shit sucks." And I was like, "Dush, where the God is the hog?" I watched it like five times. - You're gonna get in one try and get me off, man. - I was like, "Just getting bros out, we're gonna do it, wait, do you see this shit?" - That idiot's look I said used.

“- Is it really? - Is it really, you really hear the animal?”

- The animal kingdom? - The animal kingdom? Dude, it's star-studded and it's real, it's like a quiet, like fucking gangster, maybe it's nice. All straight and gangster. - Can't do this before, in a shoe, an easy-passed. So, I'm Steve, so I'm Tark, so dear.

- Tamara's. - Tamara's. - Genau, this shoe can be used now. Tamara's men. Steve, for the whole school, for all your life's moments. You'll find out at Tamara's.com, and in the next episode.

With the code, Spotify 10, becomes the 10% rabatt of her school at Tamara's.com. Perfect for you. And now, for you.

- Tamara's. - But she always find family. - Nice.

- I got one for you, you're gonna like this. Kirby says a new theory he just said me with. Do you think we're like, like, club or something? - That's right. - Yeah, that like I'm his Tyler Dirton. He thinks he's Tyler Dirton.

- All right, hold on, I gotta, I gotta like, actually grab this for a minute. - Yeah, you gotta wait to hear this. - You're the dude. - You're at your inn? - No, he didn't. - No, he didn't.

- You're at your inn? - It's just the reverse. - Whoa, yes, whoa. - Yes, that's what-- - That's what-- - We're all the thanks, Kirby. - All the things that he represses.

- He thinks I'm repressing. - So, you know, the reverse-- - Where did he go? - So, let's just get our clothes tailored. - But, Kirby, let's get hair. - Kirby, listen, so Shane is the guy looking at--

- We're not getting hair. - So, Shane's getting hair? - We're wearing hats until we're bald, just right. - So, you're saying Shane's the guy that's looking at the NPC IKEA catalog, not knowing what's new.

- No, no, no, no. - But you're the guy and it's living, you know, hell, with Bella Chicks, with Strick.

- Yep, basically, I'm like,

those will be the character, but he's not looking at IKEA catalogs. He's like watching football or that stuff. - Right. - Meanwhile, you've got-- - So, you got a plane that I'm going, that's sure would look a lot better if you got a tailor

“than he's like the same the other, your James Bond, right?”

- And then the guy who just had a panic attack, got the gunner at him. (laughing) - He's a different say than-- (laughing) - That'd be good. - That's it, he's got a partner, it's on his hand. - So, he thinks,

he thinks, "Shest there's gonna explode?" - He's gonna be meatloaf. (laughing) - He thinks I'm repressing things because he says stuff, like, "Oh, Jolyn's is the cutest datespot in my stuff." - Don't say cute, just-- - Exactly.

- I say cute, it's a cute-- - He's somebody will be like, "What about this barning?" "Oh, that's such a cute datespot." I heard him say that and I said, "No, why are you doing that with your ass?"

- Shut up, fuck up. - What's wrong with you? - 'Cause we're straight. - Yeah, we're all straight. - You'll say a cute datespot. - Hey, Siri, what does the word cute mean? - Well, I think you're gonna be--

- This is so Jewish.

- Appealing in a pretty ding- (laughing)

- Who uses gay already? - It's kinda starting to feel like you're cheating. - You're listening to it. - You're listening to it. Fuck it still listening. (laughing)

- He was like, "I'm peeling in a pretty, you see, "like, baby shit," which makes me uncomfortable. - Sexy, yeah, babe. - That's the-- - That's the same, babe, to dudes. - To girls. - No.

- Oh, I mean, I don't know if you're like a Chad. - It's fine. - Yeah, that's the best. - True. - I'm sorry, make sure I'm coming. - Yeah. - It doesn't have to be on the screen. - Yeah, yeah.

- It doesn't have to be on the screen. - Yeah, yeah. - Because you're like, "Bro, this dude's got this kind of-- "In your head, I wish I could-- - I can't--

“- You should drop of that, baby. - Yeah, I mean, drop of that.”

- Yeah, it counts as a machismo. - Yeah, it counts as a machismo. - He's trying to wear cowboy hats and cowboy bits. - He does. - Are you looking for him? - He works out in a cowboy hat and a fucking life beater in his gym.

- I only know one other job that does that. - And you look-- - You look like a magic monkey. - He listens to Shibuzi while he does it. - I don't know what Shibuzi does. - Someone blew me up with a double shot of a list.

And he's does butt, he can rip pull-ups. - Yeah. - And you're in Jack, dude. - Do you want to be-- - Do you want to be a millionaire? - He is a millionaire. - Yeah, you are.

- Shibu's gonna put me over that. - Real is of that. - Damn, push it over the edge. How are you doing? - You have the reals of him and cowboy gear

doing pull-ups would be great. - There's only one other dude I know who wears a cowboy hat and works out. - Hold on, it's-- I don't do it all the time. - He did it work.

- It's fucking insane. - It's fucking insane. - It's crazy. - I don't care. - I'm not trying to attack you, I'm not trying to attack me. - I don't want to attack you because--

- I don't want to attack.

- I'm never gonna get over this taller dude.

- I don't know, I don't know, so excited. - But you guys are the other one. - You're a goose, I'm not mad. - No, you guys are the two. - I'm fucking mad Rick, bro.

- You're too big. - You two are literally the only ones other than me that'll go, "German, that's not." He and him are always around people that are a part of our show.

- We're all in theater, no. Not necessarily, yes, remember, just theater people. So like, he'll be like, express yourself. - So it was a cute little date spot.

“And I'm like, yeah, that's what I can get.”

He called a cute, and they're like, he's like, "Oh, look at a lady that works there." I'm like, I don't think it's weird to say cute dates but they're always like-- - Dude, I look right at you and I go in there.

- It's fucking cute. What do you could do, bro? (laughing) - Just hell guys, talk about time. - I understand.

(laughing) - He's done it again. When you went on Charles's podcast, like dude, the hardest thing to do is sing in front of your boys. They all burst it out.

- He's singing in harmony, it's like, okay. - My boy, we'll do it. - You'll sing in the room. - I know, he wouldn't. - But it's a takeback.

- I tried really hard not to sing it, I said, guys, you can't, you know? - In that scenario, you would enjoy singing. - Yeah. - Yeah, it was I admit, and that scenario was pretty fun. - Well, I tried not to do it.

- Nothing wrong with singing. (laughing) - But you got to what you have to. There's so much about Garb and you need to know. - I mean, dude, we used to have those sing.

- I got to hear his music in his car. - We used to have the sing for our church. - Fuck this, it matter. - Listen, everybody-- - No, it's just farting, I like it.

- You listen, I'm gonna go, you, I'm gonna go, you, yeah. - I don't wanna go like parts of the Caribbean. - But like, that's the least, that's the least case. - They're like a score or a song's hammer. - Yeah, that's what we're at.

- No, no, he's gonna hit Flow Router, he's gonna hit bro. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm serious. - You tell him this, David. - Are you YouTube music or Spotify?

- No. - Oh, you're not that.

- Because I show me who you are.

“- Oh, because I like, I, I'm real, new Siguice with the likes.”

- What's that? - I'm Lucy Kussi, it's a like. - Yeah, I have a like song, yeah. - Oh, you make with playlists, huh? - Do I make playlists?

- So that's a yes. - Of course, it's not an all-making playlists. So you even know what's gay or not, at this point. It's all blurred together. - Hold on, make your brain a shady,

so I think it's pointed to me. - Still, I'll point it to you, because you, you know, yes, you would be-- - I do, I do, I do, I do like a center. - It's the other side.

- It's the other side. (laughing) It's just one man having an argument with himself. - Yeah, it's the other side. - I know, I'm gonna have two more beers,

you guys are gonna be gone. I'm gonna be down here in the dark room. (laughing) I made that whole thing up, I'm still my favorite. - Google enough fits and stuff.

- You think I'm Googling out fits? - Probably, it's probably happened. - That's a little spate.

- You see, in Terrence Howard, P.B.D.

- No. - Spades sent me the clip of Terrence Howard talking to P.B.D. and he was like, dude, it just fucked up, like, and it came at thrones, seriously, and that dude started having sex,

and everyone just started searching, like, incest porn and stuff. It was like, really? That was just a u-girl. You started searching incest porn. - Well, incest porn rocks.

But are you looking up outfits?

“- You're making me wanna re-watch like that.”

So we had a development, like a size development. - In my, oh yeah. (laughing) - Size of them? - My mom and my boys at large, yeah.

- Yeah, so the shirt that I wearing this season - No, German is Jack. - There's not enough. I still have like that tiny, tiny frame, but I was like, oh, whatever it's true.

- You know, it looks maxed and you're not life maxed and then you're nothing. (laughing) - There's that. - Well, you know, well, so...

- I like to... - Spodvertis, Spodvertis, German. (laughing)

The meeting of the mind, this is a fucking battle.

- Spodvertis, German, the two most different people I've done, man. (laughing) - You said like you, six different, different versions of, oh, he said, it's made one.

- You're not out there, I'm sorry. - Like you see, you're the most visible. - No, I was thinking, he even ripped him out. - You know what I was, I was still clocking you. You're way smarter than us.

- I knew that I saw your face on the 160 IQ and I felt bad because I don't think you're dumb. He said it obviously, but... - I think they kind of dumb. - Lately you've been saying it a lot

and I don't think you're dumb. - Well, even saying you're dumb. - You've been saying you're dumb. - You've been saying you're dumb yourself.

“- Yeah, I think I'm smart in like certain ways that matter”

but not book smart. - Okay, what is your area of intelligence? - Ah, like, social work. - I think you're very good at communicating. - Yeah, thank you.

- Yeah, you're not afraid to tell people exactly how you feel. - You know, you know, dumb, brute. - No, you're smart. You just, I'm surprised it took you so long to find out you were dumb though.

- Yeah. - I hit that in like, I was probably 20. - Oh, oh. - You know, no, no, no, I think I, no, I was probably 30. - I thought you were sweet.

- I thought you were sweet. - I thought you were sweet. - We're like, we're not accepted in college. You think, like, what? I can figure this out.

And there's an answer to be had. And like, I'll just figure it out. - Yeah, I think it's just getting older to go. Actually, I don't fucking know anything. - Right.

- I mean, nothing's going to solve. Which no one's going to ever be fixed. Whatever. - Do that. - So fucking, fuck it.

I guess the beers would be racist. (laughing) - I'm so retarded that. I was like sitting in my house. I was like probably like 2,000 in 21, and I was like,

I wake up whenever I want to go sleep whenever I want. I don't even have the chicken with anything in my mom. - I don't know. - I don't know yet. - Yeah.

- When I was in high school, it was like phase two. The dumbest classes. I was a senior at freshman in my classes, like whatever.

(laughing) (laughing) - It's like, however, it's like fucking rude. - Yeah, dumbest shit. - Yeah, fuck it.

- No, I haven't tried to hide that. - School is gonna be nuts. - You're too worried. - That must have been nuts for their freshman that are like, "That guy's a senior."

- Oh yeah, and Billy was huge. It was like, "Big book freshman." - That's the same size. - It'd be like, "I was like 2,08." - Dude, think of being a freshman

and being in the class that you didn't look. (clears throat) - Yeah. - Dude, you want to fuck me up? - I, dude.

- Dude, so you want to fuck you out? - You need to break our teacher's balls and know what believe me. Dude, and they're all like my age now. - Yeah.

- Or younger. - Which is nuts. - 'Cause, like, 17-year-olds are siopin', then into, like, walkin' out in the hallway and they take him breather.

- Yeah. - His fucking nuts. - I get it. Dude, I had a teacher. I went to a pizza shop this week

and there was, like, five teenagers in there. They were like, "Oh, come on, come on." It's like, "Come on, we're black." (laughing) - He was black teens, and they were, they were nice fellas.

They were paying attention to pictures. I walked in, I was like, "Oh, God." (laughing) - Isn't that how we go? - Yeah, we go to pictures.

- Yeah, we go to pictures and then they all sat down and started laughing. - Yeah. - They're sitting there waiting for my pie. - Oh, brutal.

(laughing) They're literally making fun of me after they just asked for pictures. - You gotta be mocked. (laughing)

“- Yeah, there was, like, it was, it was math”

or the young kids were, so they were, like, super smart freshmen in my math classes. - Yes, sure. - But, like, I mean, the freshmen were fucking geniuses. (laughing)

- I mean, cheers. - Low phase, out of the room. - Oh, you're killing me with this. - I mean, cheers. - This is, like, a Tyler turned it.

- I mean, I mean, dude, I, I, I thought I was stone, like, I wouldn't do fucking games. - They must be smart, he must be smart. - Hell. (laughing)

- You're now for one dude, he's a freshman. - It's a greatest must be fucking smart. - Maybe they're out here too, maybe dude. - Now, by that side, we're in geometry, brother. (laughing)

I would fuck up, jammed, right? But you're not domino. I know, just suck cock at math, I would. - What can I do? - That's my stuff.

- Yeah, they would tell me stuff. - Well, that toss you in the eighth grade. (laughing) - Oh, phase one. No, freshman year, there's just been some reason

you're getting defensive. - I might, I know, I'm trying to explain to you the situation. - Holy, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. - Not defensive, I'm trying to explain to you the situation. - Freshman year, there was a phase one.

- That's not true stuff, what to plan. - See here, dude, it was tough. - My one boy, my one boy was dumb as shit with me, and then he got on the Adderall, so I passed him everything. - Dude, my one boy were like 65, 70s, every class,

or every test. His mother fucker gets on Adderall, so it's getting 85s. - Holy, bro, how are you figuring this out? It's like I'm studying. Is that how do you have that?

- I would go home, look at this shit, but I fuck. - Oh man, Bill, you are the fuckin' fucking fucking stupid. I'm not getting defensive, John explain to you the situation. - I'm trying to, literally, show you how stupid this was. - I was in phase one, they get rid of it fresh from year

'cause it's a college. - Dude, dude, that's me talking. (laughing) - What'd you say? - You were known for phase one.

- Yeah, dude. (laughing) I'm sorry, dude, I'm sorry, dude. - Oh, I was trying to find geniuses. (laughing)

- I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, dude. - I'll just sit you with this shit, dude. - Just in turn, my ass was in a jackpot. I had to have a two, seven. - He loves my asses in the jackpot.

“I think right, it was a couple of times.”

- Did you put it in season two? - I don't know if it made it. - He's all that clip, it was like, I need to say, my asses in the jackpot, yeah, that's nice. He said it like five different seasons.

(laughing) - He's in New Slang, New Slang, all right that. - Oh man, I was so bad at math. When I went to Drexel, that the math class, that I was in, if you were that bad at math,

you don't go to Drexel, bro. You go to Delaware County Community College

and get president's list, 'cause it's the third time

you took out for one. - I'll tell you what, I failed statistics in college. Dude, three times. And then I'm talking to that three different universities. - Well, I'll do that.

- I like, I hit Harrisburg Area Community College, I was all having to make some changes. - Shit, non-African dudes. - I have no idea what's going on. I like, dude, why equals that maximally?

It's simple. - It's a little unique college, fucking rule. - Dude, you're work. - Oh, it's the fire. - I took American Civil War,

our teacher was a Gettysburg tour guide. It was me and Harrisburg Area Community College students. I was the only dude who gave a fuck and I knew a lot about it already. - This guy was like, Shane, thank you.

Yes. (laughing) No one else was paying attention. I was like, that was a general meet, right? He'd be like, it was me.

(laughing) So I've been here in YouTube. - You've been here for 10 years.

- You're the first guy, dude.

- It was. - He's like, wow, anyway. - We're gonna have a good day, guys. (laughing)

“- That ever tell you about my last semester of Temple?”

When I screamed shot of the wrong week? - Yeah, dude. - Dude, I was at Temple and I was taking literally this. - It's like when it went to school in 9/11. - And this is senior year?

- No, this is like my second, or I want to temple my sophomore in junior year, but I was taking three classes a semester 'cause I was like, "Pro, you can take three classes and don't give a fuck."

- Right. - I gotta like, take all of them to get out of college. - Oh, yeah. - I took a screenshot of my semester after Spring Break, but we were off MLK day.

So I had physics, construction safety class, and some other things on Monday, physics lab. So I was going to physics. I screenshot this, I don't know. I thought I'm off Mondays.

I was showing, sundays, I was like, "Do we can do it out of the fuck do I want to have a school?" I go in. - Drunk to the safe. - Dude, still passed, still passed by the lights.

- He could do what he meant. - Dude, so I fucking went for a month, and I'm in physics, and they're talking about, well, during the lab, we went over this, and I had, I thought the lab was something

people are going to or into physics. Yeah, literally no fucking clip.

And then I finally realized that I've been missing my Mondays

- Do all the Monday labs?

- Yes. (laughing) - And my construction safety class. (laughing)

“I rolled into my construction safety class”

after a month and not being there. It was like, I fucking didn't know I had this class. (laughing) And the chick let me in, I passed that, but physics, I got a 46 on the test.

(laughing) Dude, literally beetle juice shit. I came in, I came in, I was trying to find that Green Bay Packers jersey bottles. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I don't know where it is. - Oh, you gotta fucking read you up. - Yeah. - 92. (laughing)

- I fucking went to the, I went to the, I don't know, the way you're talking. - It's just matter. - Yeah. - Yeah.

So I went to that... - It's matter. - What is, like, sign waves and shit? (laughing)

- It's like, sign a cosine?

- Cosine, what is that? - What's that? - I think they're, we, we, we amplitude. - What's the type of math that is? - Well, how do you?

- I get, I get no idea. - Going to fucking my trip, I get a 46, dude. I was like, what's the girl? What's the bell curve? 'Cause I thought we'd all pass because everyone failed it.

No one failed it. And then I shut up, the dude is in class like, today is the last day of the ad drop.

“I was like, for the ad drop, do you have to pay for it”

if you drop the class this day is like, no, you don't. That's in two weeks. If you don't go out in two weeks and you have to do it. I literally was like, all right, guys. Got my book bag left college.

(laughing) - That's it. - Wow. - Dude, I was like, this is a fucked situation. Like, there's no way I'm passing this shit.

- I can't, look, I'm not as you're. - As you're nearing is a construction management. - I'm not making great. - I do the same thing with calculus. - It's real.

- It's real. - I took calculus. - Yeah, two times, and I got a 33. - Yeah. - The way I filled out a view on was hilarious, dude.

I did, after I quit football, I just stopped going to class. I just drank in a house. - And I'm going to class at all. - Like, fucking, so you're a skipping class. - One or two a week, yeah.

- That's right, yeah. - And then went home for Christmas break. And they were like, you're expelled. (laughing) - Oh shit.

- I was like, oh shit, they got to tell my parents. - While it was over, Chris was breaking, like, I'm not going back to, I didn't know I was getting kicked out either. - I had almost shit in North Carolina.

- My house, yeah, I mean, it was, I was in a fucking, it was dark, dude. I was, oh, my parents' basement crying. - Sure.

“- Yeah, I was like, my mind's way more jovial than that.”

We were like, I was working at a trash and generator that we had to cover with clean fucking fill. So we picked all the trash out, got rid of it, covered it with these like, all these rocks, but we could only have like a certain size stone.

So my dad was like, dude, just picking in the big rocks out in this place is like a football field. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So I'm just sitting there looking down, grabbed him, my uncle rolls up in a trash truck.

And he's like, what the fuck are you doing? - I was gonna, I didn't do my mom wants me to go college. So I just fucking quit. - Was that okay? - So I then I quit and started driving trash trucks.

- Nice. - I didn't have any to go to here. - I went to George Washington and then fell out of that, then went to Delco, because Delco really told you.

- Yeah, they noticed. - Fill that out of there. - We did, did you get fucked up? - Yeah, I'll be to watch this there for six, - And then I'd for one.

- First, the Drexel. - You fucking, how'd you get into Drexel if you felt out Delco or accounting? - 'Cause the guy that ran the screenwriting program had tried to get me, 'cause I wrote a script

by senior year, when I was in high school. - Was it tires? - Was it tires? - You wrote that a Drexel though, right? - Yeah.

- Yeah, that was like my senior project. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Well, it did graduate Drexel. - Oh, you did?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, I thought you'd done his fuck. - Well, I felt a George Washington, and then Delco or accounting community college. - George Washington's hard to get into, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Yeah, Drexel's not, so he's not done with it. - Yeah, all right, so he's already getting into. - Nobody failed out without drinking really. - Oh, there's other things.

- And what I was doing, he failed out without, 'cause I was in class. - Same thing like I after I fell out, I was living at my parents' house. - So I did go to like every class

that Delco or accounting community college. - What I was doing? - No, no, when I went to community college, the locked in. - Oh, sorry.

- After West Point, after Elon. - Yeah. - It's time. - Two years later, I'm at Community College. Next to the farm show complex and Harrisburg.

- Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Well, I had a duper bottom. - My was no, no way.

- Tell her, kinda couch, I was in heaven. You could smoke on campus and shit, so like me and all the kids just go out and be between classes, rip-bots, go to Donald's.

- I love how you're a gradient of like, how sick shit is, is what you're allowed to do. - Yeah, I'm not meant to be in school. - Yeah. - Anyway, when you fail, I want.

- I can't even imagine. - We're allowed to smoke? - Yeah. - Can you imagine if you had to go to school? - No, if I had not, like if my job tomorrow was to go

to meetings from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. - You'd have to, you'd have to. - I only think. - Chair, hemorrhoids, like, forget it. - Jesus.

- The hemorrhoids, that would definitely suck. - Yeah. Are they permanent?

- Yeah, I'm always sitting long enough.

I don't know, I got a weird thing going on. But it's like, yeah, sitting on a plastic chair for that many hours, just listening to stuff you couldn't care less about. - Yeah, I mean, if you're like my life is teaching,

but lost, yes, behind that.

- Lost. - If you're living in school, not just saying. - Pop the brakes. - I'm just saying. - We're on big luck here.

- Obviously, you've got teachers, whether it's on that, it's like you're all right for it. - My mom's a teacher. - She's a good teacher. - Hello, while I was in school,

one of the teachers got busted for having sex with kids. - Feelable, actually.

- One, I moved to all boys school?

- Yeah. - It was like prison. One, I moved her into her house. But I was retarded, so I wasn't picking up on anything that was going on.

- Yeah, scared me. - Yes. - Well, it's just, it's just, it's just, yeah. - True to me, it's not, yeah. - Not that I'm not getting around here.

- It's just getting her out of here. - We're more of a stunt.

- You don't have to be in tomorrow, right?

- But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna get her. - No, no, no, no, I was just asking. - Oh, I was gonna go in. I know tomorrow's early. - Yeah.

- I'm gonna go in pretty late. - Supposedly, the one teacher was banging the kid and she was like trying to be cool with all the kids in the class, and she was buying a beer and shit, and then she started talking shit to the one kid in class, and he was like, I'll be right back, went to the principal's office, and yeah, she's having sex with one of the sticks. - Got her bearded.

- Legendary shit, I'm cold.

“- Oh man, she's fucking, no, I could listen to you talk about school, right?”

- It is so funny, honestly, you are filled, you are the exact same dude. Like the way he talks, is, I go in there, I go, what the fuck is this shit? I fucking got a 46th, I thought there was a fucking belker, I paid on a belker, you know, research papers, but there's like, I think five was my all-time acts. I did write a paper in temple, that was awesome, and it was five, and it was porn, the libido killer, and I had a whole paper on board, dude gave me an A+, he was cool shit. - That's man, it's fair, yeah.

- Tangential. - And then, yeah, in high school, we had a research paper, I chose Alphonse Capone the worst, and I just paid kids to do it in the teacher, just like, - All right man, can I say, bro, that's obviously what am I, seriously, you were like, dude, I am. - I got busted with that. - Yeah, my boy shall write it, shout out to all of it.

- I didn't pay anybody, but I took my roommates paper from the year before, and just handed it into the same teacher, and she was like, you to think I don't know. - You don't see, I don't remember Kevin, that's like mother fuck. - Fuck, I should have taken this day off. - The thing that, the real shit about being fucking stupid is being too stupid to cheat, because a lot of the smart kids can fucking cheat, and that would be like... - There's like, I got higher actual lines. - Yeah, that's all they're cheating. Yeah, that's all that. - Super top is all cheating.

- Oh, my boy's there, we're in like AP shit, we're cheating their balls off, and I was like, fucking hell.

“- I've told this before, but I cheated a lot, and... - How did you cheat though, you get people who write your shit, or?”

- Yeah, no, like, we had a, yeah, he would give us the same test, so the class before this girl would just give me your calculator, and I would just, I'd get like a hundred on everything. - And then I was recruiting visit for football, so I missed Jtest Day, and then he was like, here's the makeup test. - No. - And it was like four, just four problems, that was it, because he loved the football team, and he was trying to use like one bra, I couldn't, I couldn't, I didn't know one. - One red. - I didn't know one. I wrote three, for every single answer, and just handed it back to me when I was like, I don't know one thing.

- About what, I don't even know this subject. I haven't listened to Wants. - Yeah, we had none of the chicks dealing with any favors, because there's all dudes out. - Oh, that's tough. - Yeah. - Just dudes, just tough to cheat. - Yeah. - You're just fucking around, there's like, there's no cheating's physically impossible. - Yeah, it'd be tough with that. - Right in that shit on your calculator, you'd have to at least know the equations a little bit, if you had like the cheat sheet in the calculator slit.

- Yeah, I would set everything really right. - No, no, he would give us multiple choice, it was Scantron Tests. - Oh, yeah. - And then he gave me a real test, like no Scantron, just like do the work. - Oh, you didn't have to show the work on the Scantron? - No, it's a Scantron, it's multiple choice. - Yeah, usually we would have Scantron and worksheet. - Oh, yeah, yeah, we did actually have those in other ones, but no, this guy would just toss a Scantron pro. - This lady would just write A, B, C, C. I would hit the Antrons and like, get out and I'd be like, it's been a four times. - Take can't be, stop.

- Yeah. - It is, yeah. - This has to be wrong. - We'll fucking roulette. - You guys been red too often, dude. - Oh, yeah, it's black. - My fucking SATs, I'm like McAvenous, I'm 16. - I'm like, I can't read, I'm like you guys, I can't even fucking read. You know, there he is, there's our next president. - Dude, his bulletproof somehow, he walks through all that shit. - Yeah, all you've to do is not be Trump. - Yeah, true. - You're gonna get, if trucker comes as an ex-president though. - I'm not votein' them. - Trucker, yeah, I see you're fucking Alps, bro. - Trucker calls in there.

- His Alps, I mean, just got stolen. - You like trucker.

“- I love, we're on the same vibe, bro. - You're on the same vibe, but are you on that fucking Christian weird shit?”

- I'm weird shit, this stuff that you said you were on the beginning of the bucket? - It's a thalsism, bro. There's a big difference. - No, I'm not sure if I'm being definitely not Catholic.

- Oh, really that is that? - 100% of that guy there, I'm Jesus. - What's Protestant? - It's the exact same, yeah. - What's the difference? - We have the vote, bro. We have the value. - Oh, they have church. - Oh, okay. - They have, and also they're much more strict about word for word than the Bible. - Oh, sir, kind of like evangelicals with that shit. - He seems a little more evangelical, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, I kind of just like the shape puts up about like fucking Israel and shit. - I got to be honest, he's better looking kind of nail it lately, but yeah, it feels a little too good. I started watching that and like fucking... If you got to watch it, Jones on dump control, he got like halfway through it, he goes back to his old shit and saying, like, we're pretty much three-dimensional beings that are more powerful than the fourth dimension beings, but they're using us and we think they're more powerful than us and they're going to use AI to take us out, so then they can talk to the fourth dimension being.

- Yeah, instead of sending to the fourth dimensional naturally, they're going to create a false dimension through AI. - Yeah. - Well, I'll be plugged into the matrix. - How is he knowing that? - It was an arpinet. It was like a futurist, a futurist, a road, like a... I don't know what they call, like a white paper for arpinet. - Yeah. - Before DARPA, before... - Like readers to old like futurist papers and stuff. - But I'll tell you what, which I mean is just a cute little thing. - Don't egg a lad, man. - Fuck the fucking fourth dimension dude, I'm here. I just went to Roots. - Yeah, that's actually pretty good.

“- He went to where? Roots? Where's that at? - In my shuster.”

- It's a TAC little cute spot. - It's a cute spot. - It's a cute spot.

- It's a cute spot. - Do you love drawing on many dates? Is this why you say... - It's a swimming pool. - I'm not swimming and put, no, drowning. - I'm not drowning. - Definitely drowning. - Definitely drowning. - Definitely drowning. - Definitely drowning. - Definitely drowning. - Definitely drowning. - I'm bleeding him out there and... - How often do you go into it? It's just curious. - Zero, baby. - You don't actually have to say that. - Oh, thank you. - Okay. - We're just, we're just, we're just bullshit and we can totally add his stuff. - Yeah.

- Or not, blink twice now. - Yeah, over, we don't have to. - Yeah. - But no, I mean, I'm dating and so haven't fun as they call it. - Well, I'm, I'm dating intentionally. I'm trying to... - I'm... - I'm going to find your wife. - Yes. - Yeah. - And you forever, whole. - Oh, yeah. - You're sheathed. - I do think I would, what my wife, if I were her body, you'd say. - Sure.

- Yeah. - Trying to find your favorite wife. - I love you for my forever, whole. - Oh. - You're forever old as crazy. - Amen. - He found his. - Yeah. - To graduation, thank you. - Oh, yeah. - I guess I had it. - I mean, there's no height in it. - Yeah. - You got your ring, bro, that's it.

- I was like, bro, it's phase always told me where rings, bro, where rings.

- Hold on, I mean, throw that in the fire real quick. - Forget it. - Very weird. You ever wear rings or anything like that? How far do you go? - Oh, we got it. - Oh, he's attractive. - It wasn't for Shane, it'd be wearing a lot of it. - Like Jack Sparrow? - It wasn't for Ed's Orton, do you? - You remember in fight club in Tyler Dern was like, dude, Ed Norton would think this is so gay.

“- Although, I mean, the only thing is, I think you can totally punch Garmin, you just go.”

- Well, six. - I've hit a little bit. - It does actually amazes. - Exit velocity on this. If you did die, I don't know how far I would go in the other day. - I think I finally got through to you. - Yeah.

- Here's how I knew I got through to you. - Yeah.

- The Savannah Bananas. - The Savannah Bananas. - That was a major test. I sent him a video of the Savannah Bananas and I was like, this is your shit. - What is it? - The Savannah Bananas is like, "Hard lane globetrotter." - I'm like, "Hard lane globetrotter." - "Hard lane globetrotter." - "Hard lane globetrotter." - "Hard lane globetrotter."

- Yeah, they're all in fuckin' nasty, at baseball, which actually even pissed me off even more. - 'Cause they're doing all these QT dances and I was like, "These walk in the torch." - So now I watch 'em catch a double play between the legs and I was like, "All right, these guys are fuckin' dance." - Yeah, they're very tough. - What? - The dances and they're like, doing like Q-guyships, whether it's like, "It's like cool face paint, fucking glow."

Like, they're, I don't know. You got to see it. They're like, "Hard lane globetrotter." - In my opinion, it was right up, Kirby's that alley as far as what he, in his mind, if he could be anything, he'd be a Savannah Bananas. - Right. - I thought for sure I was correct on this. I sent him a real of the Savannah Bananas dancing. I said, "This is your shit." - No. - And he said, "No."

And I was very-- - What is your shit? Like, "We're here, O." - What? - What? - You want to be a warrior? - What did everybody react like that? - No, you just said, "We're talking about "Springers." - Because they're like, "Fone about it, they're in response and with the Savannah Bananas." - We're talking about the story, so we're just saying, "All we're here, like a famous warrior."

“- Yeah, you know, like, "You need to be anything." - Are you like watching Masters in the air,”

be like, "This is true." - You were like the line of Tel Aviv. Captain America? - Captain America? - You look like a fighter pilot. - Oh, yeah. - 2020 version. - Like maps, though. - Yeah. - Show 'em out, show 'em out, boy. - Yeah, boy, show 'em out, boy, show 'em out, boy, pilot.

- No, the Savannah Bananas. - And then he told me that I've-- thankfully, I've gotten-- I've gotten through the purposes. I've gotten through the iron dump. - He came in, he landed. - And now I'm in firecracker tonight. - I was just wearing-- - Burberry Tays. They're black, shut up. - What? - I was wearing sweats. - Tommy's fiance bought me a bunch of clothes.

- Well, I'm just saying I'm not out shopping. - No, I'm not a fucking-- - It's hard, dude. - But-- - But out somewhere trying to find a fair pants.

- I've never-- - Never-- - I grabbed the wrong side.

I thought the show was the show. - Yeah, no, no, no, no. - This will shrink my ass sweats, my armpits sweat, and I leave. - Yeah. - That's every trip to the mall. - Yeah. - But it's a little too bright now. - He told me. He's like, "I saw that video that Savannah Bananas,

and I thought to myself, "Fuckin' Wires." And I was like, "Yes. We've reached it." - It's just the water. - It's just the water, yeah. - That isn't where you're going to be.

“- Is that what you send me gay guys kissing on Instagram?”

Me? - Trying to see if that's my stuff. (laughing) - I'll tell you what, that backfire. 'Cause now my algorithm is broken. - Yeah. - But, dude, that's any of the guys--

- Is ass cheeks? - Yes. - The guy with the thickest fucking cheeks. - So there's a new one I've been watching, where it's a big tall white man that acts perfectly like a black woman. And he has a little black boyfriend and they walk around.

- No, let's stop. - It's crazy. - It's fucking great.

- It's crazy. I'm gonna show it. - Yeah, I'd like to see it.

- Show me this. - It's so crazy and they do like, she like the dude literally does the hand signals like black. - It lives the dead, it lives the dead, it's not. - It's very fucking insane. I got a flying dude who's wrong with that.

You know, why'd you leave your cheaters in the truck, bro? - I thought about getting them in. - You're what? - My glasses. - I don't know. - Yeah, I've been sending you a lot of shit with that one gay podcast who talks about getting not in his face and truth.

- Why? - Jesus. - I sent you all those reals for the intro. - You got to take the cans off, bro.

“- Oh, the guy who says... - You're giving your pants down.”

You want me to eat that cake and it's killing me, dude. - You know how to take the headphones off, dude? - I had to have a listen. - Who's the guy who's like, when they're talking about the guise? - Oh, that's a... - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- The browsers. - The browsers, the killing me. - You've changed, Bill. - I've changed, I literally can be more normal.

- I get paid to do gay shit, mate. - There you go.

- That's a dude. - Oh, this is fake, dude. - It's real. He does like fucking girl-hand signals and shit. - That's great. - Turn out the song. - I think it'll be good as... - It's not making guys to those girls, that's a dude.

- Anyway, he's taking out the 83 points and won the 80s. - I don't figure out that's forting about his hat. - Based on that one. - It's like a new Mexico or something like that. - Oh, it's a little new Mexico state. That's a wolf pack stadium right there.

- She does that. - I mean, it's hate. - Thank you. - Thank you, my problem. - He's a stream blocker, I can't see it. - So who? - Oh, it's loading down here, Shane's going cave.

- Oh, so, okay, that's a man. - I understood. - I'll try it. - Look like Baron Trelp. - He's for real. - It's crazy. That's what's gonna happen, everyone.

If everyone keeps it down this road. - What? - Like a fucking paradise. - And we love to get maxing, with huge asses. - It's not on its top. - It's like, - And he's gonna have a lot of fun. - And what?

- Garvin's fucking looks maxing. - Garvin is looking maxing, but he's not, got that Reagan hairline. - I mean, not really. - Yeah, - Garvin's like, cash right now. - He hasn't gotten into, there's no substances.

- No peptides? - No. - No, this is natural. - Dude, wait till he finds out about peptides. - Tell me about peptides. - You're gonna be like, - Oh, I don't trust him. - I told you I was gonna take

peptides today, and he kept being like, "Well, peptides." - Dude, he can get like, it was like driving over. I was like,

“I mean, literally I saw a very good one. - Well, how come he gets to do it?”

- Dude, I met this dude through Billy, and he's like, " Dude, you gotta take glow, take red of them." What the fuck was the other one's Joe? - Oh, I forgot. You gotta pin the wind, they say. - Yeah. - I'm sorry?

- I can't inject anything, so I'm just gonna have to be a lifetime now. - Can you inject something? - You're fucking good. - Dude, I'm trying. - This is the best you look. - Oh man. - What are they? - They're just fairies. - They're not steroids,

they're what it is. - You look like a tier one operator. - I'll be fat in three weeks. - Oh, they're all hurt. - He's just not the best he's looked in a while. - I'll hurt my shit. - I don't really pay attention. - I see. - He was on too. - I don't see him enough.

- You should see Spade's son as Jack. - He's starting to remember me. - He's literally that tall as his boy already. - He had tall, we're not gonna talk about tall. - He was talking about tall. - He was talking about tall.

- Yeah. - Frame. - That's a white one. - That's wheat. - Yes. - His rain was actually like, "Great, it's full back." - Yeah. - For real, it might be, it might be my call. - He was giving birth. - My call was stuck.

- My call saw that's probably my favorite football player. - Dude, he'd be the last full back. I mean, the game's gonna change so much. - I don't know if I'll reach the height. - He could bring back the full back. - Oh, I mean, like, it's just fucking Cincinnati.

- Charlie Boy? - Republican. - Republican. - Republican. - Republican. - Republicans can be the final full back. - And he's a unit there. - Yeah, it's fucking staff. - Well, it's got a dome dude. - He's got a Jones bill.

- Oh, wow. - Oh, my God. - Yeah. - It's a hardy boy. That's the guy who punches metal for fun. - What one is arms down? - The harder one will be on. - That's the lead. - That's the lead. - We'll probably need it.

- I enjoy the frame. - Cute. - Cute. - Now, that's cute. - That's cute. - Yes. - A bar is him and a bar have nothing in common. - I mean, we did, this episode is brought to you by Rujiett.

but you're, let's say, there were not mine.

A little guys, just not cooperating. That's where Rujiett already comes in. It's a three-in-one ED treatment that dissolves fast on your tongue to start working in about 15 minutes and lasts up to 36 hours. Supporting both blood flow and arousal,

so body and mind work together. Rujiett, performance medicine for men, go to rujiet.com/drenched to get 20% off for limited time. - Also guys, I have some shows coming up. Please, for the love of God, for the love of God,

“go to matmakusker.com, I believe I'll be in Iowa pretty soon”

and St. Paul, many Minnesota. So go to there, also, it's probably sold out, but there is that link show, go to shanegillus.com. Is it shanegillus or shane and money double check here? Let me see, guys, I'm sorry to hold you up here.

I just want to make sure I got the information correct. Otherwise, be pretty rude, I didn't even do this episode. I can't just plug my shows, that would be a very rude of me to do that. Link in financial field, it is shaneemgillus.com, by the way, shaneemgillus.com.

Let's see if Link in financial field is sold out. Hold on, guys. Let's see. Ooh, we, we guys, we gotta sell this out. It's getting close.

If you think, oh, there's no for a while, I should be fine. You're a fucking fool. I don't see a lot of blue in this thing. It'll be a great mean sold out. Ooh, we boys, this is about the girl.

It's about the fucking girl, guys. Get your motherfucking tickets to shaneemgillus.com. Oh, back to the episode. Part in the interruption, part in the interruption. This is Sean Gardini.

I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City. You taught wise guys, comedy club March 27th in 28th with Nate Marshall.

“So please come, see that show if you'd like.”

And I'll be at the comet in Cincinnati. Not comet ping pong, just the comet in Cincinnati on May 22nd in 23rd. So please come to those, that was a little joke there. But I'd really like to see you guys at the show. So please come if you can.

Like it's our at shongardini.com. And we also have the optimum noctis at the creek in the cave in Austin, Texas.

Me, Nate Marshall, and Lamarley every first and third Tuesday of the month.

So thank you very much for your time. Part in the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show. And we're back, dude. Go ahead, dude.

Jesus. Smash a machine. Now, bro. Fuck. Cause I love the documentary.

No, but I love the documentary. The Mark Perfect. Yeah, yeah. The documentary, where he's like, can I tell you something that the documentary fucked something up for me with Mark Kirk?

Cause when you watch him, he's such a badass and just like the way he like in the documentary too. He's like ragged off. This is like when UFC was dudes with mullets and karate. Yes.

“And then he's in there with like actual spandex and he's just like our good wrestler.”

It's the first time he interviews and he goes, I was just going to kick the shans. He's still soft. Yeah. They're the rock.

The rock talks like that.

He goes the voice. So good. That rock give me that one. Yeah, they're like, give me that. It made the entire movie.

He was all happy. He was on an airplane at one point going to Tokyo and he's like fucking huge and like a aisle seat and the lady sitting next to him or dude has the window and the things down. He's like, excuse me, can you put that down? I love the sunset.

Now that's it. He's supposed to tell me. Yeah, the best is when he's at the fair. He's trying to go with a grab a child and he's like, you know what I can't call on that with my tummy.

Yeah. It's perfect. He was yourself. I only watched the old documentary. That was on it.

I think it was like on HBO. But it was just here. They don't show him taking pills and it was much in real life. It was a directing pain. Yeah.

I didn't even know that was a thing. In the dock when you see him doing it, you're like, awesome. We made that documentary made Japan look nuts because it was like before we knew a lot about it and they were just doing these like Tokyo dome fucking tournament lights. Yeah.

And it was like. That was a night ride and all that shit. It's on the documentary. Yeah. I mean it's like early 2000s.

It's great. Yeah. It was like O2 right after the height of Super Mario. Yeah. You've been on a real Super Mario.

I did it. Super Mario Land. I'm on three. Three hardest fuckers. I don't know.

That's actually hard. Paddle slamming territory. Like I fucking died and I just grabbed the controllers. You know what you're talking about? What is your top shit right now?

It's a Nuki suit. Yes, dude. The Nuki suit. You have the name of it? No.

Only race in it's a Nuki suit. I know. Mario. Yeah. He's the lead.

Yeah. Yeah. It's hilarious. Tinnicky. Tinnicky.

Yeah. Is that how you say Racken and Japanese? No club.

Yeah. You're a raccoon dog. A mixed or raccoon dog recently. And I was pretty fucking fired up about actually. Let me look up at what a Tinnicky is.

That has to be a raccoon. But there's, I don't know. Tinnicky. Oh, it's a Tinnicky Mario. I don't know.

But did they say that in the game? I mean, they don't say shit. My whole life, I thought it was a good man. Fucking raccoon dog is. What the fuck?

What is that? Is that a real dog? It's a domesticator right now. No, no. It's not domesticator.

It's just an animal. It's like a slow face. So, Asian, I think that's probably what it's the Tinnicky's based off of. Japanese raccoon dog. What is it actually?

A real mammal native to Japan known for its fox-like appearance. Mass-like markings that thick brown non-ring tail. Give me credit. He's totally trying to call you dumb. Yeah, no.

There's super national shape shifters. Me and Altislav. Because we watch Super Mario 3 stuff on we eat. Especially you don't watch a YouTube video. We get through it.

So, both of you don't digest right if you eat watch YouTube or TV while you eat. What?

“Because your mind is watching the TV so you don't digest as good as you should.”

She's just going to like a deprivation tank and chew. It's impossible. I can't put her in like this sometimes. Yes. I have to have a YouTube video to eat.

- And just put one on in a truck stop eating burger cake. - Yes. - Like a toddler, I put one phone on and on a little side.

- I always just try not to be gay, not my guns.

- They didn't have you, I was gonna get a gun. - So jealous, I tell you something. - You're getting rest on McDonald's. - I was genuinely- - Do you want me? - Okay, like what's the hierarchy?

- Well, McDonald's is the bad. - McDonald's. - No. - But let me tell you something. - The orange is called. - Wendy's fell off.

- Well, it's not. - We're all really hard. Wendy's fell off. - Let me tell you right now. - That's right.

- That's right. - That's right. - Sprunk was fucking terrific. - That's sort of, they've been hit me with Reels about the big arch, and I'm like,

I won't talk. - I'm looking at it, I'm like, yeah. - I don't want to do that. - If I didn't assess me, if I didn't have a stomach full of BK, I would do a clonifane old trip to get a big arch.

- Hey. - I was talking to Senator about eating before bed. I was like, do I can't do it, Senator? - You might have to sleep. - I was so real, I used to eat cereal.

- C-C-C. - What is your, and a choice? - A C-C-C-C-C. Serials horrible, were you just supposed to drink milk before you got a bed? - 70 pounds heavier than I was in high school.

(laughing) - That's all milk weight. - You are much. - Milk is like a drug. - No, it's the best.

- I love it, I can drink a gallon of milk and like a day and a half. - It was funny, it's like, I got probably. - When I was a kid, I would drink milk like water. - Yeah, like I would-- - I just told you that too.

- I always hated eating at my friend's houses,

'cause then their parents had to see how much milk I drank. - Yeah. - One bowl of soup? - Yeah. - One bowl of soup?

- Like a newspaper. - I bet, can you, hey, yeah. - Hey, Mike? - You cut off, you go. - What'd you say to me?

- Dude, my cousin, my cousin's a shared driveway with us on the compound. They're what? - They had 10 kids. - Jesus.

“- Dude, I think there was a dedicated farm for their milk”

and take, 'cause it was like milk with spaghetti. - Here we get four. - It was spaghetti, I've done the rules. - Every single time I've heard of it. - There we go.

- There we go. (laughing) - Jesus, I remember being 17 or 18 and seeing the bill and it was $400. This is like 1999, like,

and they had four gallons of milk at a time. - Always. - Yeah. - Eight jacks would come in just slam. - Yeah.

- I've been talking to Cousin girl. - Dude, you jacks. - Dude, you guys would like to grow in Cousin. You see, really. - Eight jacks just released an album.

- Oh yeah. Eight jacks would cost ground Spotify. - And eat voice up an angel, bro. - Well, just so you know, that's about to hit 400, 50 sale, like it.

I wanted to make like, these can be, so bored to out. - Dude, out of the debts with a diabetes port, fucking. - Corroshing.

- From the third floor. - You're charting. - Cyrin's goal is, dude, listen to A Jackson Cousin. Listen, it's like fucking sick shit. - He has a voice in angel, but it's like six foot eight.

- That's what I want. - Yeah. - It's like Andre the Giant, if you could sing. - That's what I want. That's the funnier.

That's like the Mark Curve Boys.

- It's powerful as fuck, bro.

- Jack is the general giant. He wouldn't hurt a fly, bro. - No. - But yeah, they used to crush a little mine because of fucking Matt's famous ass.

- No, no, no, go Spotify. - He has a won't Spotify. Just search the A Jackson Cousin. - It has to come. - Apparently it comes up.

- Oh, it's just like my artist. - Yeah, there it is. - Cameron's Doris, perhaps? - John McCusker? - No.

Fuck his John McCusker. - I mean, it comes up for me. - It's crazy that now you can just put up music. - Okay. - You know, if you're awesome, that's great.

But if you suck, you're just like, oh no. - Yeah, yeah. - And put up. - Hit it. - Yeah.

- It's top plate, give starter taste. - I mean, the quality's insane. - See, why those?

“- No, he did it with like an A, I think he's singing.”

It's ominous, yeah. - We'll give you some A Jackson lore. - Awesome. - I'd smoke and drive this shit. - Yeah.

- Jackson's still like stand at the perimeter of our school where like the actual feet would end where the school property was and smoke reds in front of our disciplinarian. Just ripped Marba Reds, they're looking to Illinois

and don't be like, what are you gonna do about it?

- I'm not on the school property.

(laughing) - He can't. - He can't. - He can't. - I know, well, I mean...

- He didn't. - He said that music. - He needed a fucker. - He didn't need it. - It's a long intro, honestly.

Come on, Ajax, sing. - Ooh. (laughing) - You got it here, it's fucking voiced. - No, no, no, it's coming.

- It's a nice word. - It's almost like it's a bit. - Every time you say you say it, you say it. - It's never done. - It's gotta be right there.

- Yeah. - Good intro and intro, I don't do any more. (laughing) - It's my house, it's my house.

“- That was the best, that was the best thing that I've ever heard.”

- I really was like, there's no fast forward. - This is, this is like a seven-minute intro. - That I do not anymore, it's a piece I do. - Yeah. - It's a dream to sing.

- It's a dream to sing. (laughing) - It's a car wheel.

- It might have uploaded the image of my accent.

- It might be an awesome. - I feel like I'm being trolled. - Dude, it's current stores. - Yeah, look at it, this is not him. - Not that much it.

- Yeah, that's dope. - That break in was so funny, it was like, - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's good. - That's good.

- Yeah, we got this out of the highest list. Not taking it away. (upbeat music) - Yeah, he can wear it. - He just used to also be able to memorize books.

- Yeah. - He made new what was on pages. - I mean, new walk out sombra? - Really? - I think it's whole.

(laughing) - Crush that shit, dude. I'll buy a sagex before shows. - That would be fucking sec. - Dude, that'd be awesome.

I need a sagex to sing the National Anthem. He would do that a hard thing. - You know, the link. - And that's a lyrics? - Yeah.

- Dude, he would crush the night. He sings for every wedding. - Oh, is that coming up? - That's like in May, right? - It's a lot.

- Is that his cross to bear

“that he has to sing it every more customer,”

whether it's the bear or not? - Yeah. - National whole family loves me. - He used to cherish a very tired family. - Aw, Vemaria, all my dad didn't.

- I'm not him. - See him sing, right? - Yeah. - Together at Wedding Jazz, it's fuck. How great.

How close are he? - He's huge. - So I've got a jacks like a legit 65. - Yeah. - And probably three.

- Yeah, probably. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Falks away, three, 20. - Goblet of milk.

- And sing and let's y'all can, he has the world. - He did a talent show in all his score. He did him a talent. - This is fun, yeah. - And I know which one it was.

- It was nothing else. - I'm saying that, I'm saying it, I'm saying it. - Really? - It's going on. - It's the fantasy of every teenager

is to rip it at a talent show. - Alka. - And some twins. - And some 33 girls who are just driving along. - Oh, dude.

- I'm thinking back. - Yeah. - Think of a bag where you go. Come out, ACDC and our whale on guitar. - So sick.

- Oh, you can't see your group on a sock my dick. - I wish I could have gotten head. - That was the fucking other about that man. It's the first thing. Was that guy's video to even itself get in head?

Like, that's the thing you've done? - I don't watch the documentary. - You're a monster. - Well, people filmed themselves. - Like, throughs in England with this guy H.S. Tikki-Taki.

And he's like, yeah, dude, if you join my telegram and you can watch me get head, I'm like, dude, this is a fucking thing he's got to do. And these streams you get wild, not changed so good. - Oh, sorry.

- Our streams gonna have to pick it up. - Jesus, yeah. - Maybe we should quadruple kiss. - Yeah, it didn't marbella. - Somebody put it in it.

- Toss dog out. - That was a full gag. - You gotta go to Abitha. - And he's just singing himself with a beautiful voice. Rollin' Cakes like there's nothing.

- That's a real man, I'll get going. - Right up. - I'll learn a whole fucking thing I can tell 'em. - I'm scared. - Yeah, he was a human.

- Yeah, dude, he's just picking up Cakes. - Dude, it was something about a staff T-shirt and I got it along there. - I know. - Just does it, just does inform me this.

You go, that guy, he's up to some. - Yeah. - I like it. - Yeah, that one. - What do you tell us that, a staff T-shirt?

- I've tried many times throughout my hair. - Never worked. - You look crazy. - My head just comes increasingly bigger. (laughing)

- You gotta take the weight out of it. - Did it cut? - I do that, then I look like-- - I don't think you've got to be the fucking noggin' bullet. - What size of hat do you wear?

- I don't, I fit it. - Don't. - Yeah, I don't.

- Not never offended at all.

- All right, well, I can't fit in a regular hat. - I think, so that has to be. - All right, I thought I were an ace. - He's sponsored by the big hat. - Yeah, all that big hat.

- I did a commercial for the guy that he pointed all over. And he's like, I'll send you big hats. And then he made me a Miami Dolphins hat. When McDonald was the coach of the Dolphins, and I went to a game in my other friend that I grew up

a Chad when we're on the field he goes. So, it was wearing unlicensed NFL gear. (laughing) - I hope all the NFL coaches get that cold in. - Yeah, oh yeah.

- McEver. - First confidence. - He should all be that chill. - Yeah. - Beware, McEver, good.

You guys go down for dumb. Burt's heads size eight.

“Like I think he's the only person I know.”

There's Hurt, Grysert, he's got size eight. - He ruined head though. - How's that? - True, he's on set. Teasing on testosterone.

- Probably.

his head shrunk back down. (laughing) And then he shook back up both public. I'm a huge giant fan of you, and you're like, he's not on steroids and he's just headward going

to the top of his head to the shoulder. And then he vomited and he was in the strike zone. It was going. - Go on. - What would that be out of it?

(laughing) But when McGuire and César were going for it, they were supposed to be the best.

“- Well, that's why Bonds got on steroids,”

'cause they said there was a dinner. There's a dinner at Cangriffy Junior's house, and they're all talking about it. And he was like, "I want to see me stare, "well, I see me do your rights."

And then he just-- - Dude, he was like, "All this crushing." (laughing) - He's the best player of all time. - It's crazy.

- He's at eight times in close. He's the best player of all time. - Yeah, he could have died in 1998 and bent. - Yeah. - He's the leader.

- And he was, I forget the exact step of his, the walks, the on-base as he took. - It was like with the highest, the more than teams. (laughing) - Combine.

- Yeah. - He had more walks than like the devil race that year. - The funny thing was watching him. - He would just go into the play that day. - Yeah, that's what I was talking about.

- He put on his elbow guard or whatever. And then he'd know it walking in when he was like, "You get really huffy?" Where he'd go like, (laughing) - He'd take off his elbow guard and like,

"You won't pinch to me." (laughing) - But he did it if I don't run. - Hop it.

- Oh, they would always drop.

- Well, he was a little stone-based guy originally. When he was like, "What the player was?" - He was the pirate of the year. - He was a good guy. - He hired him, and I'm a pirate of the year.

- He was nasty. Yeah, a pirate was skinny, and then they started him. - Shoes in. - How hard were you guys changing from a pirate over so soon? - I love it.

(laughing) - Am I right brothers? - I'm still young. - I am still young. - So I turned into like so few.

- When they called him, Frank and Barry. - Come on, Mark and a liar. - So so. - So it's a time that I'm like an MJ. - He really did.

- That's it, the Frank and Barry. - He's so real. Do you remember that video game? - I was happening to my skins. - He goes, "Thom he throws us baseball."

- He's so real. - It's the same. He's so fucking rules. - It's a fight-off.

“- I think that's what Adam can get a little older.”

You go, actually, so it was the man. - Yeah. - When you're a young man, when you're a young white man, you go, I'd like to see Mark McGuire when he looks like my dad. - A red-haired man has freckles on his own.

- It looks like he's got his forearms tanned from mowing the lawn. - So she's just fucking cool. - Oh, yeah. - He's shadowed?

- And the red-cliner? - So it was just sprinting with the American flag in the outfield of regular. - I think it was right after 9/11. - Oh yeah.

- Come on now. - So it's all bad. - So it was the man. But bonds was like the guy that everyone hated. So it was fun to like him and be like shitty about it.

- And you were a giant fan, too.

- Yeah, I was like, he never got caught.

He never got caught when Balko was happening. - I thought that was the exact same thing. - I did that, and then he stopped flagging. He just comes back to earth and he's definitely a serious, he's definitely a serious one.

- Yeah, sure, what was your baseball team? - Giants, I love the Giants. - Damn, that must've been so nice to have. - They're behind for the night. - One World Series though.

- Number one. - You might have told 20. - Yeah. - But we lost 89, lost 102. It sucked.

I think it was a lint to come. - Lint to come was the main. - Lint to come was the main. - Long hair. - Yeah.

- Fucking ripped it. - I had to had a clause in his contract

“that he, a pitching coach couldn't change his release.”

- Sick. - He was like, you're not following my bow as well. - He's touching. - Like, the way he threw the ball, they couldn't come in and go. - You gotta just take your arm off your belly, yeah.

- Don't touch the bow, eh. (laughing) - He was awesome.

- I've never watched it in Giants double header.

I don't know if it was with the Phillies, but I watched this. And this went on for like two days. And it went into like way extra earnings. Like 17 things, it was fucking nuts to do. - Wait, you watched this, like, on TV, right?

- Yeah. - You sat down and watched it so well. - I sat down and started. It was like a fucking, in a way extra earnings. So this is fucking nuts.

- Back to the day, no pitch clock. - Yeah. - I'll be old. - It's no internet. Nothing just feels like this dream.

I'm like, sooner or later, like, dude, this game's on over yet. - We gotta come and write it in a second. Let me do you get a bar? - No, no, I was a little kid. - Double header Giants.

- Oh, man. - You're watching, you're watching a fucking Matt Williams bat in third. - It's like the mid-90s, Giants. - Yeah, hell yeah.

- Damn. - The mid-90s, his fillings were goats, a baseball, and filly was like, yeah. - The most popular fucking thing ever. - He said the baddest team, you're saying the coolest team.

You had to cool his colors. You had the braves, were the, were the new uniform. Braves were the villains, but you guys had fucking crock. Then you had nails. - Which Williams?

- Wild Tha. (laughing) - Oakland always beat our ass. So it was always, Oakland rules. - Oakland was great.

- Rock, Paper, Scwin. - The Anderson is the funniest baseball player of all time. - And never had a ball. - I heard Barry about it. - He talks of third person.

- The funniest rookie Anderson story of all time is one of his teammates was talking about John 3/16. And then Ricky Anderson walked over he goes, Ricky don't care if John hit 3/16. Ricky gonna hit 3/50.

(laughing) But he was third person. - Matt. - It's powerful. - Yes, they're going to third person.

- Me? - Shay, Shay doesn't like that. - Shay doesn't care about that. - Hey, mate.

(laughing) - Oh, man. That was it.

We put together good pot today.

Derby's garbage with fire. - Yeah. - Derby is the funniest dude out there. - Derby thinks that he is Tyler Durden to shame and shame.

- That's crazy. - Yeah, he's crazy. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. - That's a crazy day, he's nuts.

- He thinks he's Brad Pitt. - Yeah, yeah. - He goes as a six pack. - I like that. - Because in general it does not.

- It does have a great body. - Yes. - Thank you.

“- Maybe this is what happens when you get a six pack.”

If you go a six pack, you get to be like, "I'm sorry, Derby. "Drews my fucking head, Dorden." - Yeah, that's like God, he's giving drafts long neck, so that they can eat the shit he does.

- On set, during tires, he's, he'd lose your mind.

If I, he gets there before me every day,

so I get into hair and makeup after him, and he sings, while he's in hair and makeup, he like sings songs with the girls. - Excuse me? - He must be, he doesn't have any dude.

- It's his favorite thing in the world. - What's the kind of soul, I like it? - Fucking show tunes, what do you think? He doesn't sing, I don't know what he's doing. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Yeah, he doodle Dan, he's the music he likes. - Yeah. - He come in, he's like, "Oh, boom, man." - And the box, the way the music he likes. - The glasses he likes, everything he does is so fucking funny.

- Movie star. - Yeah, I do. - I love it. - He is doing it as well. - You're a doctor, Frankenstein.

- No, here I saw it, he's so funny. - Dude, hit the fact that he thinks. - But I'm getting to him, we were talking about earlier, I sent him this Savannah bananas and it got through to him.

“I was like, you like this shit and he's like,”

"Shit's gay."

- And I was like, "Yeah, theater."

- Yeah, that's probably, yeah. - They're starting to see us. - I think it's gay. - Fucking hell and color, I'm like, yeah. - That was him going.

- That is water. - Dude, they do his hair, the shampoo is hair, while their shampoo is hair, he's like, "Oh, yeah, I said, I said, I said stop." - Another good one of the other,

one of the other hair make-up girls filmed it and sent it to me. It was like, this is what he's doing at it. Now they're, they love this app. - No, no, no, no, no, they love it.

- He sounds like a fucking porno director for my crazy house in three. - This girl, this girl's doing his shampoo and he's going, "Holy shit." - Oh, but I swear the girls, those girls love 'em.

I get in there and they're like, "Steve's so nice, you're mean." And I'm like, "No, I'm just fucking 8 a.m." I have to put it, fucking makeup on. - He comes in there with his tray of pink drinks from Starbucks and does with each one, does it?

And he goes, "Have you guys heard?" - I sound like I'm saline-like. - Do they guess? - So he goes in, he tells him about his dates. - Oh, it's yeah.

- He talks about his dating money. - He did his hair cut. - He does, he does, I mean he's cool. - He's just the one, though. - It is.

- It's absolutely correct. - And he's right about this, when it comes to the tie-to-date thing, I am jealous of the freedom. - The complete freedom.

- Yeah. - And you want that he's happy, anyway. - He's happy, yeah. - He's just saying that he just thinks

“that you're a freedom in his freedoms the same.”

You would be different, dude. - That's actually a very good point. - You know what I mean? - The freedom isn't sick and soars with the girls. - Yeah, but I wish, yeah, I guess I don't really like this.

- You just kid it, you could just see it. (laughing) - He's like, you know what, I thought about it. I'm talented, dude. - And I was just in there like.

- I fucked. - What was his? - It gave up picking on German for Lent, so. (laughing) - Did you really?

- Yeah, my nephew gave up doing six, seven for Lent. - I'm serious. - He's struggling. Very hard. - I'll call, we'll call him.

- We'll be like, is anything wrong? - Yeah, I'll be like, dude. We were at work today for like six or seven hours. - He's in the car, like. (laughing)

- Dude, I coached fucking flag and all those kids, dude. Someone doesn't hit that extra point, it's like. (laughing) - Right, where did he go? - He looks Jones says, how does Jones have an FU

because he's been randomly hit in like six or seven years and shit like best dude in a life. - I'm like, I'm like seven, I guess. - Did you drop it in the inside eye? - It's so nice to just be like his Anthony,

can Anthony hear me right now and it'll be like, - Yeah, I saw the Jay. - Like dude, it was crazy. I was at work for like six or seven hours. It's just like, okay, come on man.

It's like someone not trying to smoke. He's like, he's going to hell if he does it. (laughing) - The power of catholicism is just dying. - Oh, he gave it up.

- He gave it. He decided, they're like, he knows, he did, he knows. - Oh, this is great. - Like this is his favorite thing, he gave it up. - Does Lent end on Easter or good Friday?

- Yeah. - Oh. - It ends on Easter. - Yeah. - So he's gonna wait til it rises.

- He's gonna be waiting. - He's gonna hit the six out of it.

- I'm gonna go Anthony with Thumbs Mass.

It's six or seven. (laughing) (laughing) - It's a shoulders? - It's crazy, it's crazy.

- My nephew just had basketball.

“The one kid was like fucking crazy, 80 day”

and he was just running up and down the court once he got to the three-point line to slide all the way down. - This is fucking rules. (laughing)

- Yeah, I saw a nice video. There's a kid with Down10, and there was a special Olympics basketball. Did I send this to you? So nice.

He's fast-break late, this kid's nasty. He like literally, like Vengaroals in our fast-break but the kid chasing him on the other team started to fucking heading, hitting him on the, and then the game gets heated.

But this kid's like training threes and looking at this odd line like, "Oh my god." - Yeah. - They got that, the WWE F fucking taunt stand.

- Bro. - Yeah. - You can't reach him. - I think I'll miss it. - It's like seven.

- Big skit? - Yeah. - Where you were like, it was like medieval shifts, where you like play football.

- I kind of remember that. - It's very good. I was just watching videos on the other day. - Were you talking about? - Big skit.

- It's like violent football.

- Yeah, it's like medieval football on second.

- Yeah. - Yes, it's got like pig skin. - They go with, they love that on second. - And that's it ruled. - This is very good.

- I know he's hung out. - Golden Axe is my favorite. - Golden Axe, fucking rule. - I got the little people of these, like, old backs in the arcade. - What do you call that?

- Yes. - Video game. - How did they do that? - Oh, yes. - So good.

- The all-in-ones. - Golden Axe. - What do you call them? - He has the real things called Steam Deck. - Oh, Steam.

- Okay. - I got that thing on me. - I wish, dude. - My emulator fucking crashed though. - Wait, see you, that's too much work.

- Game Boy. - It's like a Steam Deck's like a giant. - It has giant everything, switch. - Yeah. - It's like a bigger.

It's like a switch on steroids. - The speed just got to switch, and now he's stuck in the underroading. - I gave it up real quick, dude. - Fucking guys, killing it. - I'm not built for, um, open world games.

- It's impossible. - I'm a 2D game. - Play in Zelda, I might have got lost. - Okay. - I might have started the game.

- Look at that dude. - I started the game over. - Oh, damn, I think that. - I've done that in twice with both last of us. I've gone halfway, got a little bored, stopped,

try to come back and do like, I got to read, I got to read this. - I told those guys, I think I had to start the game over. You know, you don't, I was like, dude, pretty sure. I'm flying into the depths, and I'm not supposed to be here yet.

Don't have enough marks. - Yeah, I just been fucking spazzing on Super Mario 3. It's kind of my happy place. - What about, are you going to give it to like the Luigi's Mansion? - No, no, no, I don't fuck, I like their real ones.

Although I do like a lot of people hate on Super Mario 2. I do like it. I don't care if that was a rush game that they just flaps Super Mario on. It's still fun.

- Shucks, I think they took it down. - Did they? - I think the kid attacking him. They probably were like, the other hand, they're special, I bet. - Yeah, yeah.

- But the kid is shooting from NBA range. - It's like those videos where they're bouncing the ball off

“of each other's heads, that's how violent they're getting.”

- My entire internet is just NBA Cliffs, dude. I fucked up. - Really? - No, I swear to him, the Jordan, the Braun argument, have then now this new...

- Spage is gonna go, no. - The news should be clear to you. - The kid that bumped Kobe for the all-time points - Oh, we've got a lot of shots. - It's like... - Damn.

- My whole shit's fucked. - I wonder how many Kobe had that night? - That was sick. - 82? - No, no, no, I mean, free throws. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah.

- Yeah, this was absurd. - Mama. - 43 free throws. - It was impressive, but it was also felt kind of spamming. - Yeah. - But someone's like, I just fucking... - Then you go, don't do that.

- Yeah, you're not really... - Yeah, it's trying to help them get it. - It's like, yeah, what I just played Tony Hawk and I turned off the... - You turned that off?

- Just for Shucks and Giggles, which I was, but people were walking around,

and I had a five million manual in.

The manual, I'd have five million going on. - So there's a way, like, well... - You have to balance the manual. Then we got really easy. Once you got the analog stick.

- Yeah. - You had to go in with the fucking thing. - And then you could turn that on. - Only is. - Yeah, no. - A trillion points in. - Yeah. - At least zero, forever.

- So people would come into my door more or whatever, but I'd just be playing with their... No, I'd just be chilling in my room. - Oh, wow. - You know, in a bean bag, playing Tony Hawk, but I'd be like a three million run.

- That's so embarrassing. - Yeah, I'd be like... - If I walked in,

“I think, have I recall you doing something like that?”

- That's what he hit, like, Madden, then up 140,000. - I got through that before I was 20. - I just, I sort of got it. - You played him in Madden? - He wanted to take a piss and I switched mind of rucking,

but his on all-freller, all madden. And I was fucking in my apartment. - That's great. - That's great. - That's great. - He found out, still one. - HB Slipchream, HB Slipchream.

- That's, like, al-Qaeda to take out Russia. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't, I wouldn't do that, but I liked that you did though. - I think. - When someone goes, when they're playing game,

and they go to bed, so you got to fight with them. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Everyone else. - Moochia, that one. - Nightjams. - Nightjams. - You know that? - Thought.

- He, yeah, we talked about last time I was seeing him. - He was playing Red Dead, he went to bed. - Yeah. - Dors, like, got my friends. - He was, I put a stick at down to my dad, and I lit it underneath. - And that blew up everybody. - It was great.

He came out on the fuses, ladies. - No. - No, you had the gun. - You had the gun on it. And then you tossed it down to my head. I, but I did do that.

- Well, that's great.

“- If we're playing against somebody, yeah.”

- But I was like, let me play it through, 'cause there was a glitch on the glove side. - My boss. - Or a stick side. - If you could ban you? - One of my best friends in high school, and he deserved it.

- In NHL-93, there was a glitch where you could just constantly fucking score,

and he never didn't do it.

- The rapper. - The rapper. - And I would just sit there like, dude. - Is it the rapper around goal? - Yeah, the rapper. - I'm in his bedroom, like, dude.

I'm like, are you serious? - It's just like, never stop. - It's like, when Rogan plays people, and Paul just announced it. - I'll see you again then, I was like,

dude, what's happening? This keeps happening. - That was the craziest thing he's ever done. - What are you talking about? - That's your video games.

- First time I ever, yeah, true. (laughing) - That's an exact thing. - First time I did Rogan, first time I did Rogan, we got done, and he was like, "It's play pool."

I was like, "Okay, that was a, I never played it." He was like, "It's just play." He was like, "Sure, we're here." I was like, "Sure, we're here." That was a lot of dudes who didn't help me with it.

- He just destroyed me and Paul for like two hours and then left. - Well, that episode comes out too soon. I was like, there's a, there's a, there's some kind of dudes that can't lay it down

and just have fun with Paul. They can't do it. - Do you think there was like a song playing like an uncle Phil came back and bailed Will out

the first friends to soul man?

You think Joe Rogan was like, "How am I supposed to, but it was like God's math said." - Dude, he, what, my career seventh is it? - No, I was like, "Fail up." - Uncle Phil and what you recall?

- Oh, a fresh friend, friends? - Dude, he's dead now. - So fucking good. - That might be my favorite episode of Fresh Brits. - Yeah, true. - Will's hustling people and then he gets crushed. - And then uncle Phil comes in and just beats those,

- Oh, man. - And he's off everybody. - He's filled from down the way. - Ever seen at the, or, what's his out? - That's how I watched it. They started talking about like stealing shit.

And stuff, he's like, "They're not dead, "self from down the way." It's like, you've been an actor for 50 years. - So Will Smith, the Will Smith slap with he out. - So he got like, Julia, yeah, he's an actor.

It's like a little Wayne, remember a little Wayne, I was a dirty, so fucking badass, and I was doing it to art school. - I think he actually is. I think he actually was better.

- Hey, he was the real, I do. - John's on. - Yeah, got to stay and like. - Weezy seems like the real deal.

- Weezy was like 16 when they put him on.

- Yeah. - He handled child fame in the hood. Do you understand the degree of, like, - I don't think he, I don't know how well he is. - He's been a dick man.

- He's been a dick man. - Remember that? - He's been a dick man. - I'm a star up for 20 years. - No kids couldn't handle that.

- Spate, Spate had a kid in his neighborhood get killed, he was on a rap document on YouTube. - He made a documentary about these kids. They couldn't even handle like YouTube fame. It's very killing, sorry.

- Immediately. - Yeah. - Trapped lower off, so I get on his videos sometimes.

“I drove home from the, what was that place in Virginia?”

Fucking, because it went for sleeping. - The last time I left, as hard as I did earlier. - Fuck was it, Mondrow is on. - On the way home, I drove at the Montrose. - Remind you.

- I drove, I think I showed you the clip. - Oh, we talked about it, I get it. - It'll last time everything I've ever seen. - I drove home from Virginia and watch, it's like a four hour video on a o-block.

- Trapped lower off. - I just saw a nice, there's a meme going round of o-block. - What? - Well, they put up some. - The squad together, and then it's either

got a dove or a locked up. - Who's dead? - Literally the entire squad. There's like 30 dudes in, it's like a football photo. - Put a black up.

- That is, they're all gone. - That is like, there's one guy that's not in jail or dead. - That's like, that's like, that's all of our roster. - It's crazy.

- It's crazy, but it has all the nicknames on there, too, which is pretty great. - That's great, like, fucking squeaky, like a little pit, a little pit, a little pit stop, like a dove underneath. It's got a damn.

- Yeah, they were all tweeting, like, "I just killed that fucking pussy." (laughing) - I did it, I'm at it. - Now is he?

- I'm smoking weed, we named after him. - That's the ramp up where they're like, "Oh, shit." - It was on Twitter, be like, "Okay." - They're here right now, come get us.

The funniest one, though, is it was a guy named, I think it's Mr. Disrespectful. - That's the one that died of his death. - That's my neighborhood. - So I watched that documentary, it was hilarious.

He was like, "Tull it." He was like, "What's your name?" He was like, "Mr. Disrespectful." Like, why do they call you that? He's like, "I just for real be disrespecting people."

(laughing) - Well, this is how Disrespectful was. He dug up one of his ops graves. - Yeah, I was wild. - And like, danced on it.

He dug up, he killed a guy and then danced on his grave. - Yeah. - He's dead now. - Yeah, I live by the sword. - That's the only, I mean, that's like a biblical.

- That's OG sense. - That's the best in that day in somebody's life. - I don't mean, I don't mean, don't mean, you'd have to carton in their family.

“He's the only way to be more disrespectful.”

- Is they crying a lot? - Right, right, right, right, right time they do that? - Yeah. - Why do you-- - It's like-- - I didn't really call yourself that.

- I think that-- - Disrespectful. - That move gets some doctor disrespectful. - I think you got a Ph.D. This is--

- Clean up a grave, take off. - Do you think I have a Chris? - Do the only thing you can be more disrespectful is if I showed up to fight you and your dead grandma was closed.

- If I was to do it, even the devil was like, come on man, come on, man. - Ooh, it's just no good man. - Hey, come on man.

- Dude, she's there. It's good. - My diet is not his.

- He's like, "Hi, what's up, guys?"

- It's a rock. - It's a rock. (laughs) - Are you a fucker? - Oh, he's dead.

- Oh, he goes for doing it. - Oh, no. - That's for real. - That's my best joke. - That's my favorite jabber made it.

- What? - I used to do it. I was like-- - Yeah. - I was open in December.

“I'd be like, "Yeah, this is my impression."”

This is my impression of a lot of calling us out of in Latin in the night before 9/11. - Dude, that must have been nuts for people. - Well, you're so weird, dude. You know how much I hate towers.

- Oh, man. - And this is-- - Just rope the carpoolsburg. - This is the devil calling us out of the line on 9/12. - Well, she got dead eight.

- She runs for four crazy, oh my god, I don't even know that many girls. - The best part was watching you get excited to do that joke. Do we get on steroids?

And then when you run out of real estate,

and you just be like, "You guys do it? Anyways." - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, it's out for anyway. - That's right, but it is so funny.

Oh, you guys actually turned it. - Yeah, I don't know. I wish I still had that. I tried my best to hit the fucking thigh slap for you. - It was so, it made me laugh.

- It made my best. - It made me laugh really hard. - You had a thigh slap? You hit the thigh slap, bring me out. Not the mic, he did the...

(audience laughing) - I tried. - Fake hump? - Yeah, I like it. - He did fake hump, did like two.

Looked over it then. - It was great, hey, it was on everybody.

“- Yeah, the Chicago stuff, they thought they were like”

for real getting away with it, and the cows are like, "They're fucking killing each other dude." That's like, "Come on, problem." - We all have to do anything. - All right, I don't want to say this.

They have six things easier. They're actually pretty bad. Normally, they need to kill them. - Listen, I've been a Chicago police officer for 15 years.

- This is the least I've ever worked. - I'll tell you what, I love that King Vom. - This guy does my jab for me. - We've got a big go-down and put a gun in the guy's hand, but this fella down in O'Block.

- They're a guy. - Vom. - I'm not gonna follow you, things that we was killing with. - Which one? - He's like, let me tell you about this guy.

This guy says this. Let me tell you about this guy. - I was like, "Fuck, I could do a pain or I'll let's pray." He's never gets to it. (audience laughing)

- Look at that, wait for this, this is amazing.

- That one that I keep seeing on is Farley. It's when Sandler's the waiter and he's doing the pepper. - So funny. - When did he tell you that? - He's probably breaking Sandler.

- Is it Kristi Alley? - I'm not sure who the lady is, but it's Farley or Sandler's like, - Would you like some crack peppers? - At the day when he's like,

"I would thank you." He just said, "Sandler like." - Why? (audience laughing) - Just be the dick.

- Man, Sarah ox. - Is that else rules? You know another good Farley? - That's the thing. - Anything you want?

- You ask me, in a dirty work. - Oh, he's like, "Anything you need?" He's like, "Can I say your place?" You see the thing is this. (audience laughing)

- Is dirty work where he's hitting the juice box and he's like, "Fifth!" - He's sad. - He's sad. - Rolling stones, treat fight.

- G-sick. - You hit G-8. - Oh, you're, right now you're enough. You can beat extra scissor to sleep. Yeah, it's like a shiny.

He's going, yeah. - Oh, no, that's me. (audience laughing) - Oh, yeah, what else is going on, fellas? It's a good pot.

- Oh, dude, I think I was Vince McMahon being in a, is he on trial? Now, like, fucking evil ass here. - I saw him going like 150 miles now. - Yeah, I saw that video.

- That's where I am. - I thought that might've been old. - I don't know. - I don't know if he's in trouble. I don't know that guy.

Straight up looks evil now with his eyes all over. - Yeah. - The thing's also a boys with Trump, I think he's fine. He's like, "I can do whatever I want." - The dude's definitely gonna be--

- Dude, face pulls are freaking me in the fuck out. - The states fact up out there. - Yeah. - He's on his fucked up. - Yeah.

Was that fake or, what was the verdict on that? - I don't know. - It's our new Will Smiths. - It's in the new Slap. - Was that a real affair?

- See, Jim's carries face him, I don't believe it. - What's the Jim kit? Do you guys thought the Will Smith's Chris Rocks' lap was a work? - No, I thought it was just a funny guy. - Yeah. - It was just three years, you could make--

“- He was drinking and you're like, "Dude, you can't remember that."”

- He figured out anyone had to take someone talk about it. - And they got very interested in it. - But they do. - He's actually carrying it. - The eye colors.

- It was. - Not. - Yeah. - The slap? - Dude, it's crazy.

- I think enough time is past week and so talking about it again. - He didn't. - We're as a rat. - That was fucking crazy. - I agree with that.

- A lot. - I love it. - Did he set back down and then won the best actor? - He won the best award. - Awesome. - Keep my wife for what?

- Could you imagine blowing your nose in Roger Gdell's tie and then winning the Super Bowl? - Three to Williamson. - Okay, that was good, though. - It was good.

- It was good. - Exactly. - Fuck it. - He's back down, right? - He's got a King Richard?

- No, he tried rapping and it got weird. - Oh, no, that one. - I like her. - Her role's like, "All right. "You need to go for the concert in London."

- Yeah. - I'm not gay. - Yeah.

“- I know if gay and I'm not wearing a wire.”

- Really has like a really extended theory. Probably not for here, but about that. - Yeah. - Just like once you get into like a rap shoot where you're like, "I need 15 girls naked dancing around me.

I'm not gay." - I'm sure. - And I'm a fucking murderer. - And we're gonna cut it at that and that's that. - The obelok was like, "You got a phone?

Follow me." (laughing) - If all girls were about it. - Yeah. - That's the story of the videos.

- No bitches. - None. 50 shirtless black teenagers in a apartment jumping up and down, pouring guns at the camera. - Being a neighbor?

Literally the scariest videos I've ever seen in my life. I haven't been that scared since the rough riders and they're, yeah. - Yeah, I said the MX. - With the four by fours?

- The MX was putting out scary videos on the ATVs. - Oh, block. - The only other guys that hold it down like that are ISIS.

There's never checks in their videos.

- And they're the people. So they might have to crowd. - ISIS has died, yeah. - All right, they're. - They don't rap there.

- They could. - We'll say that's about US propaganda. They're making it too gay. - Oh yeah. - Let other people make it.

- What's up with the White House? The, the, the, the, the, the, the part me up, I intro, when I'm 23. - When I'm 23. - When I'm 23.

- They don't work. - The White House core. Whatever that is. - Yeah, that needs to stop. - That's fucking nuts.

- That sucks ass. - They did like a bowling one. - Yes. - Yeah.

“- I think there might be a 23 year old at the helm.”

- Thank you. - That's absolutely what they did. - I got to be honest, it reads 30. - Dude, you think you are I am. - Yeah, but they were just probably like,

hey, Rubio, does your nephew you want to run the White House Twitter?

And he was like, oh, that'd be hilarious.

(laughing) - The hilarious, the on the side. - You saw my eye. - You weren't on the lips. - Oh, it doesn't matter.

Dude, I'm gonna open the straight. (laughing) - You by yourself. - Yeah. - You should start another.

Hey, still a theme park? I'm opening the straight of hormones. (laughing) - Off, the shores of I ran. - Committee in Shane Gillis.

- We have to know someone on the knitting. - Open it up or your day. - You guys are gonna jack off. (laughing) - Look at this.

The ships. (laughing) - This is you standing on it. - Could speak to ISIS, they would be like, (laughing)

- Should've went to that Saudi thing. - Oh, yeah. - That was where your connects were to put him up in the straight. - Oh, it's your pole.

- Do it now. - Yeah. You think I should go to read now? - Yeah.

“- No, just to open the straight of your nose.”

- 'Cause you were never now.

- Showin' the round. - On a full stage, on a Chinese board. - On a belly. - Dude, we'll get the Chinese involved. - Smalley, the pirates are gonna show up

and they go, "Actually, this guy is pretty funny." (laughing) - I saw him. I saw him in the straight up, and he was showing you any. He's not that great.

- The clip story. (laughing) - I saw him in the middle of a cliff in the straight of my mouth. (laughing) - Now I'm gonna open the straight of my mouth.

- Dude, do you know about Diego Garcia? - There's this fucking island. That's like down until like the Indian Ocean, the British found this fucking island dude. And they can hit Asia, they can hit everywhere,

if they just take this over. It took it over, it's like 50 fucking years ago or whatever. And they can do whatever the fuck they want. - With a British. - A British.

- No, there's nothing. - And Trump got busted, he was like, "Do you want to stay?" - I'll show it to you. - It's fucking nuts.

- I think when there's nothing it does. They sent one boat out. - Out with that. - Boms, the foes, yeah. (laughing)

Don't over. We help you. - England, there are bombs these days. - You have a cheer on a global? - They're like, they could be like,

"Jankos, they could come back." - Sure. - Sure. - They're capable of peering you. - And they remember that guy.

- Is that hair, are we back to colonizing? - They're the only one who had the real white slaves. - Yeah. - They had a calm down, bro. - Yeah.

- Dude, you really think about that. They come back like John Wick. They're like, "Oh, are you going to make him slaves?" - The white. (laughing)

- And like Trump says, "I can't, I don't know. "It's some shit." - Yeah, Trump will let... - He'll let class about shit slip in every meeting. - Yeah, I swear. - Or lucky he's married,

'cause if he was trying to get pussy still, - Pull him out, dude. - It takes one spot. - The thing snapped on his finger and he's like, "I would have hit the pain."

- He's dead. - He's still trying to get pussy. - Oh, no, I know. But I'm saying, if it was out now, the only marriage has ever held that boy back.

- I don't think Melania is like, "I can't, yeah, I love Melania." - Did you watch the movie? - Well, I started it. - The Melania movie?

- Melania, yeah. - I cannot wait. - Number one is on. - You gotta make Lamar and Nate watch it with you. - Oh, yeah.

- He's really Welsh. - I kind of just want to watch it. I just want to watch it. - I want to be hilarious. - Dude, you know what?

It's like the soundtrack. - Must have caused the fortune. - Well, they got all the bands that are in it. They just took all the music they wanted. - What did you do?

- It's like a pop me up mid with drone footage and shit. - With hot Melania wall around.

- I will have to, I will have to sit them. - But he gets beat. She goes in like fashion shit.

“There's a bunch of dudes like measuring her for dresses.”

I don't want to shut this up. Not for you. - Yeah. - I wouldn't mind watching the measurements. What's going on there?

- Nah, it pours off me. When you get to the party, you'll shut it off too. - Okay, well, I'm not going to ever watch it. (laughing) - I will never watch it.

- It might have been a singer, message enters on. - I just wanted to see what it was. - Yeah, they turned them all to the manager in Canada. (laughing) You know, if you watched Melania,

that was MK Ultra Ledger. - I mean, I think-- - It was Melania. - So he does your boy, you guys boy Trump, that you guys voted for, does he--

- That's it. - This is right now we're on Rock that. - You guys voted for. - I'd say-- - You actually had to say on how awesome you were.

- There's literally five minutes ago. - Where? - You're like dear, he's a man, you gotta admit it. - Where? - Last week?

- Last week? - Yeah. - Oh no, that was, you said he didn't have the juice. I said he's still definitely has the juice. - He doesn't need juice.

- No, no, no, no, when he comes to the shit talking, the boy's still got it. You were trying to say he lost the step. - He's losing a little bit. - Oh yeah, his fastball is not.

- No, no, that's it. - That's it. - As soon as he said it, I watched him-- - I watched him throw about one of those.

- Right now, there was amazing.

- Two, one of six. - It's like going right at the end. - Yeah, right. - He's like-- - I love this great documentary.

- I just listened to three asses. - I just listened to Bill say he lost his fastball. Then I watched the clip of him going, I just passed a fucking test. That would be impossible for you.

You too. (laughing) - I said this guy's still got it. - Where are we talking about? - Now, the juice is different than--

- When he got to the market. - Decision making. - When he got hit with Epsi and then he'd let him pretty much, like, why are we fighting? - Why are we fighting? - That was a low point.

- How's that? - That was a low point. - As far as juice goes, low point, the juice-- - Oh, where do I read it? - What are you guys talking about?

- I have a return of theory that Obama and Trump are actually friends, and this has all been a science hit. Wrap up the Middle East. We're just gonna wrap it up. We're gonna put it on a little bow.

It's gonna be ours. - And they pretended to-- - And they were in house. - They were enemies. - They were enemies.

- Now, this could be the end of the world. - Obama was actually like, you know what,

you'll never be as president of the United States.

- And that was actually like a little like dubbing,

“like, do you will be the president of the United States?”

- This is what you don't understand though, Shane. You play this, right? - Five of these, yes. - You play this. - It looks like I'll be there.

- With five edits on. - So, Obama. (laughing) - Yeah, there's a lot of dudes on the internet now, like, going with some crazy theories,

and they're like, "It's chess, and it's five-day." Trump's in control is like, "I did see that guy." - Oh, yeah, it was a dumbass-- - You can tweet out so, it was five-day, he was like, "It's chess, it's five-day."

And he goes, "The reason we took Venezuela "so we could take Iran." And it's like, "I could have come up with that one." - Exactly, do it. - What's up?

- It's your friend, dude. - It's your friend, dude. Dates a stripper who swears, she's not a slut. - That's not a slut. - That's what I was talking about.

- She likes to dance. - Whereas, we're gonna dance, post and videos of the other one. - It's a good strategy. - It's a good strategy. - How is it going to you, Mac?

- You're a little bigger. - How much money are you making tonight? - You're a little bigger. (laughter) - Possibly, yeah, that's a great idea.

- That'd be a little bigger. - The viewers who plays videos on fucking Twitter, that's why I have a niche. Tell of these, get in bomb to hell. And someone's like, "That's not Tel Aviv.

"That's actually in 2016. "They just said, "I mean, dude, it's a fuck of war." It's like, you're literally on Twitter. - It's a fuck of war. - It's a fuck of war.

- I don't even know. I don't know where to find a single piece of information. - It's done.

“- Oh, that's honestly, the greatest win in Russia's history”

was just destroying us, having vilifying it. - Now, you're being tricked into thinking Russia gives up. But their Russia's doing nothing, dude. We get to talk about Russia. - You ever see it, dude?

- You just got something. - You don't want it, it's probably when you're crying. - When you're in your state, you know what you would,

you just have a headache and you just always

are treated to, "Hug over." - Oh, man. - You got a fucking Russia. - "Hug over to Russia." Russia's like, "I don't even."

- Now, you're getting close. - The way I tell you, the cold war kids. - It's not Russia. - You gotta get the real headache. - Yep.

- You'll get there. - And then you're gonna go. (laughter) - Oh, my God. - Did I feel it? - None of my problems are real, it's real.

(laughter) - Why do they make all our decisions? - It's like that thing with the IQ charts, like. - Melkin. - Rod Russia's low IQ, no offense.

- I love that dude. - The lady in Russia is the equivalent of my dad being like, "I'm reviewing the Nucas." Trump's a Russian smart. - You go Russia, I think it's not Russia.

- It's not Russia. - But it's somebody, and I'm giving you a hint. - Can't it have the whole time? (laughter) - I'll give you a hint at who it is.

- I'm not gonna say who it is. - Is he actually just... - Is he gonna do a concert there? - No, I was saying it. - Oh, fuck, I was saying it.

- If he did it, it comes with a hell of a, either they would kill someone with a pillow. - You ever watched a video like it was like, or that I think they'd tell of me. - I thought Baron's all doing the old day was a...

- Yeah. - So that's fucking crazy. But you ever watched a documentary about the monster next story ever, see it? - About the guy who worked in the factory?

- Yeah.

“- They worked the guy who worked at a Ford factory,”

and they were like, "I want you the blisher of a tripling." And he was like, "What?" - They're like, "I'll get there." - You have to get the dream. - You have to get the dream.

- For trial. - Yeah. (laughter) - There's just like a... - The random dude, the best part of the whole fucking thing.

- Maybe. - He might have said the butcher. The best part of the entire thing. Like, "You're the guy who worked at the concentration camp, right?" - No, they have a trial, and the guy goes,

"How did he get here?" He's like, "But I dream." Over the Oaks. (laughter) - That was a dream.

- My favorite of those, I used to, yeah, I used to talk about doing those a bit,

and then Louis, you never went.

But just the idea of a guy, like a factory, just like pushing fucking buttons, and then somebody being like, "What's your other fucking butcher of DACA?" - I was just showing Billy stuff.

Oh, just don't say that. - Why? - He's James. - So like, y'all, it's way to God. You were a SS officer.

- Yeah. - Shut the fuck up dude, stop joking around about that. - You're gonna fight, you're like looking down at Jerusalem, like, shit. - Do you know that old lucky room?

- He wanted to. - Remember that old lucky Louis clip when he's in an AA meeting? And he's like, "You guys are just all assholes?" - No.

- Do you remember this? I just shared it to Bell. - No, it's a good-ass fucking show. - And then, look at Louis, it's great on HBO. - And that's Dr. Manor.

- There's a, he goes to Jerusalem. And he has to get a lawyer and everyone's like, "No one's picking a lawyer." - The lawyer's got. - The lawyer, dude.

- Dude, dude, dude, dude, you rolls up in a Porsche. Like, "I'll do it." (laughing) - That's really good. - How many fish?

He's the great. How many people did you kill? - Yeesh. - We could get him up. - What's your 401k?

- And the guy that guy's name is fucking classic. - What is that called? - He's a rule or something? - Yes. - Monster, that's story.

- That's story. - What was the, what was his ethnicity? Was he crying? - Oh my gosh. - Yeah.

- It was hilarious. He's like, from Cleveland. - So you know, Polish name, really? - It's the people, the Polish people in Cleveland. And I was like, "You wouldn't do that."

- He's the head of our sour crowd club. - You're on a chef, 'cause you're on a chef. - You're on a fucking case. - Rolls up in a boring manner, you're gonna talk. - I don't wanna watch this.

I always say I don't watch this, I don't wanna watch this.

- It's great. - It's great. - So you really, yeah, you'll see. - You'll see. - You're not gonna know.

- I'm gonna watch it, you're real. - You're real. - Yes, definitely. I got WBC, and I got fuckin' this documentary. - WBC.

- World baseball. - World baseball. - Did we lost to the wops? - Did we do the wops? - The wops are out.

- It's not the only one. - It's not the only one. - And Noah was dealing tonight. - Yeah. - Is that like all the countries play a challenge?

- Yeah, I didn't even know. - That's like, yeah. - Yeah. - They're the rules. - Yeah.

- Well, they're not actually telling you. And they're all just American dude. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's, like, 90% American guys.

“- What's up with the, if you're in the Olympics, right?”

And you are American, and you have like another heritage. What is with that? - He talked about that lady's game for China? - I'm confused about that. - 'Cause I'll tell you what, I'm confused too,

and I was a confused person. - Yeah. - Because I don't like this support for this lady. - I don't understand this. - I didn't even do it enough fact-finding enough.

- No, no, no. - If she got paid to do it, fuck that noise. - Well, you used to have to be an amateur. - I don't even like it though. I don't like it at all.

- I don't have an American. - No. - Come on, Ness. - Do what? - The only one that you're saying.

- Incredible. - WBC I understand, because USA... - Nothing but respect. - Oh, she rips. - She rips.

Isn't she a skier? - Nothing but respect. - WBC, I'm cool, because USA doesn't take a lot of guys. And then guys go, I wanna play it. - Yeah, WBC is, there's no rules.

You can be, your grandma can be from... She can be half of that. - Dude, there's a white catcher. - There's like a gentleman in the public. - Yeah.

- Dude, look up the white catcher. - They don't give a fuck. - It's so funny. He looks like the one white kid in the hood. - Yeah, yeah.

- And they're all like, and they watch him dance, and they're like, every time they score, then he's like, Dominican Republic's playing Japan. - Yeah, another playing Korea. Venezuela's playing Japan.

- Oh, he's dead's playing. - Venezuela's fucking got a squad. - That was a great game last night. - It sucks, it sucks, Israel got a job. It wouldn't have been nice if Venezuela is real.

- Venezuela is real, that would have been great. That would have been the ideal matchup. - That would have been. - Venezuela, it's crazy to watch him and you go, you just don't even have the leader right now.

(laughs) - I'm like, it wasn't one kid like an electrician who just bear a shout out, we can stay up. - We can stay up as late as we want. - Yeah, I don't even have his like, we ain't,

I need to create for breakfast. (laughs) - We're Venezuela now, bro. (laughs) - No, but Italy's fun, Vini Pascantino,

a basketball bro. - He's the man. - Can you tell me a little story about the past quatch. - Past quatch is the fucking me in the bro.

“- That's just Italian, Havis, or guy can play for Italy?”

- Dude, he-- - Hold on, did I tell you that you know the past quatch story? - No. - Sky rules.

- First basement for the kids, city royals.

- Yeah. - Cool's hell. - Oh yeah, huge dummy, I forgot your room. - It was great. - It was, yeah.

- So we did a show in Cleveland. The royals were playing the Cleveland and the Guardians. They, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, she looks good.

- They look good.

- That's crazy, they got you.

But, most of them are the backs. But, it took the backs.

“- You guys using proper pronounce of me?”

- Yeah, you did the earlier. - But, we do a show at no, David's coming, I did A4. (laughing) - Mustard out, wait, the buzz of the show. - No, don't let me.

- It was amazing. - Ah, but now they, a couple of the guys from the royals came to the show and then most of the guys were like, "Yeah, we got a, got a dip out, we got a game tomorrow." - Not the past quatch.

- To past quatch. - To the past quatch. - The whole design of our VH and tomorrow. - I don't give a fuck. - Let's have a little fun.

- Because you guys are going out. Because you guys are going out after the show, we go, yeah. And like Bobby with you, you're like all the royals. All the royals were like, "All right, we're going back. We got a, we got to play tomorrow during the day."

- Yeah. - And the past quatch just looks down to you guys.

You guys are going out, you know, yeah, you guys.

Fuck it, I'm DH and I'll go out with you guys. And then right as he said that, Shane goes, 100 dollars, you're gonna hit a home run and Vinnie was like, "Poke it." And then we went out.

- I drank. - Do we land in, we land in hours? - No, we were going to a casino. - Priority. - And we get to a red light and you can see the past quatch

was thinking to himself, it's probably gonna get to bed. I gotta play the cleaver in the instrument. He just gets out of the fucking Uber and goes to stop. I don't read like, he was like, he's been silent for like 50 minutes and before that he was chatting a little and then all of a sudden,

you can see the wheels were turned in for a while. You guys, you know what guys, I gotta go in. He got out of the red light. - I respected it 'cause it was the best duck and roll I've seen out of a car for a while.

And he's just peered it in the night and then we went next day, goes yard. - Damn, hit the home run. - Really? - Yeah, dude, hit out of the four, he's the man.

Katie was going nuts. I told him not to, and we landed in the fucking DC, she's like, "Fity, we're yard." (laughing) I was like, "Fity, when you're on, he's like, "Do you fucking?"

We were like, "Oh, it's great." - Then Bobby sent me a picture of him and it was fucking in the ice bath, just like it. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, so he's on team Italy, right?

But he's like, they're leaders. He's like, they're glued on, he's also the captain. - Yeah. - He's a locker room. - locker room guy, they did.

- Not just locker. He had a three home runs and then last night. - Well, he was over 12 before that, I know. - He's zero. - But he does damage espresso machine in the dugout.

- That's when you had a home run, you drink it espresso. - Holy. - Oh, jagger, they all go. - You put on in our monies, yeah. Yeah, they go like, they're up eight, nothing on the outside.

- Is this takes place? - Houston and Miami and Sam Juan Puerto Rico and Tokyo. Now it's down to Houston. - Yeah, it'll be in Miami and Houston. - Like, what just you talk?

- Are, is America still in it? - Yeah, we need an Italy to be Mexico, and we did it.

“- Yeah, our, our, our fucking, like, what do we have?”

- Oh, if it aren't Vietnamese, we'd say price, price, harbour, air and judge. - Hi, and we got everybody. - Everybody. - And yeah, but we, we tried to, we tried to rest,

we tried to rest some boys against the wops, and the wops went nuts, it was eight nothing. - Dude, dude, dude, dude, they put it on. - Fucking kills. - Those Italians are good with bats.

- Which was funny 'cause the first, the first home run

and they're all doing the his presence in. - Yeah, that's one, they're having a good time. That's cute, eight nothing, you're going to, he's mother fuckers, do you know how they turn on their country? - There you go, he's fucking, they're checking the size and war.

- Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, who the thump the wops went, gonna be loyal? - First, first inning, you're like, "This is, this is a lot of fun culture." - Yeah, like, this is hilarious.

- Six inning, you go, look, close to no screw. (laughing) - Yeah, I became alien, that's real quick. We got to put it into this shit. - Follow the money, follow the money.

But Aaron Judge, fucking had a chance to win it. We had two runners on, bottom of the ninth, two outs, any fucking struck out. Italy, God of. - He's a physical freak, dude.

- Yeah, it's crazy. - He's there at the garden when he was there. - No. - No, it was, it would've been nice for you to win. - Where he was at your show?

- Yeah. - Holy shit. - He is a horse. - Yeah, he looks at the horse. - It's hilarious.

- He's a horse man, he looks like a guy. - He walks to a room, you go, let the fuck go. But also it's because he's proportionally correct. - Yeah, that's what I mean. - We should've done like that.

- We should've done like that. - It's terrifying.

“We were in Arizona, we saw this dude, remember that?”

- Crazy. - We were in Arizona, we saw this cowway walking in a coffee shop. And I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, and Billy was like, yo, it's bad. Walk up to that dude, and it was like--

- Who's shit? - Was he doing proportionally good? - Yeah, yeah. - But he was proportional with that. - Jeans like normal height and everything.

- Was like an NBA player, you can watch walk by it. It's all bones. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's like a long arm's, this huge.

- Yeah. - A proportionally correct dude that's six eight. - It's crazy. - His fucking hilarious. (laughing)

- Well, like LeBron's, six nine, and he's pretty pretty, he's pretty proportional. - He's pretty proportional. - I watched him with his eyes so pretty highlights.

- Yeah.

- No, they just sent me all this like LeBron flop.

- LeBron flop. - Jeans funny is, my algorithm is all Larry Bird's shit talk. - He's good. - He's the doctor. - Joey, Gilly.

- Oh, I just love all his Bruce Kees, would you? - Yeah. - We had him in the very-- - Yeah, he was good. - I love beer, dude.

- Oh, well, well, well, well, well. - I love Larry Legendall. - I'm looking forward to talking to the heck. - Dr.J. was making it. Gilly a doctor today, we're making fun of birds neck as well.

“- Did you see-- I think it was Dr. Rivers.”

He played for the Hawks when Larry was like, I'm gonna hit this three in this corner. And then he did, and you see the entire Hawks bench, 'cause it was right in front of their bench like-- (both laughing)

- There's a story that Coach came in the next day and put it on film was like--

- Did you watch the ABA thing?

- Yeah, he was gonna stop, but the what? - Yeah, you guys watch the ABA thing? - This shit was slick. - He made a whole documentary on the ABA. - Oh, five in here about there.

- It's a pretty no. - Yeah. - Oh, absolutely, watch that. - Score to 100 though, will it is to get-- - We have a--

- We got it. - 100 points, and then just fucking everybody. - By the way, illegally probably at the time, he's taken down white ladies and they're like, "Yo!"

He's like, "100." - We're gonna do about it. - Yeah, I'm out there, he just holds white women up here. Like, Ricky's left out of the refrigerator. - That's it, get it at my wife.

God damn it, we'll jump. - You ever see him like doing track? He's somewhat proportional. - Yeah, he's slightly proportional.

“- Yeah, there's that clip of him being like,”

him and Michael Jordan are the Walton's telling the story. - Is it the elevator? - No, about there at the 90s, all century team or whatever and Wilton, Michael Jordan are arguing about who's the best of all time.

And someone's like, "Well, JP and chips are whatever." And then Wilts like, "You know, my friend was telling me that the other day, and he's got 11 of them." He's talking about Bill Russell and he's like, "Oh, shit." Then he got him at the elevator and he's like, "Oh, yeah."

- Wilts Chamberlain scored 100 points. With no three-pointer. - Yeah, he got up. - When you watch Wilp Highlights, it is funny 'cause he is good.

- Yeah. - When he looks almost modern. - Yeah. - When you watch the soul power thing, they show the, in the soul power thing.

- Yeah, it's like, whoa, awesome. - Show the old, before the ABA, they show the old MBA, and it's so beat. - Obviously. - And then they do date.

- They brought us in a three-pointer. - Yeah. - It was like, like, laces on the ball. - Yeah, but they can tackle each other. That's what it's crazy.

- That's what Bill and beer came in. - You know, the '80s shot, no, the '80s shot, no, the '80s shot, no, the '80s shot, no, the '80s shot, no. - That's like mine and five, yeah, that's like my stats. And he's a legend, just 'cause he was a hog.

He was a hog, he was a hog on Detroit, that would cause problems for people hated Bill and beer. - No. - Watch anything you can find? - Well, there he is.

- Watch anything. - He would just go on fight with all the best players. - Dude, hard fouls, he'd be like, yeah, he was a good. He was straight up a good and a little bit. He was just six foot 10 good.

He was like, I'll slap that guy. - That's like hack a shack. Like, front of me, I am in a punch Michael Jordan, the mouth. All right, let's get out there, he's walking in the '80s. - Dude, they spent my people in for shit.

- Dude, they just go like, just club is fucking for us. - Yes, dude, fucking. - Please talk to one of that. - Diesel's king. - Diesel's king.

- Diesel's my favorite player ever. - Number one was a bullet. - She killed him. - He did. - He just came in and he's like, I don't know, I don't know.

- Oh, yeah, I don't know. - All right, sure, sure. - Check for him. - He's like, I want to talk, do I want to talk to him? - Yeah.

- His bed and MTV Krebs fucked me up. - Yeah, it was a little scary. - Yeah, I remember that. - Yeah, I remember.

- Yeah, I never saw the movie.

- Yeah, Lichip's rock. - Was that, like, what part of his career is that? - He was a rookie, he was a rookie with the magic. - Yeah, he was a rookie.

“- Cause that's why Anthony Hardaway was in it, too.”

- Yeah. - Okay. - He didn't even want it. - Jay and I used to do the Nick Nolty from Blue Chips, constantly ring out.

- Jay, he's brought him out to me. - Dude, Nick Nolty is the best in Blue Chips. - He's like, I tell me you didn't shave it. - He's just, they said, "What are you like better?" Blue Chips or anything.

- But what I wanted to do, my Nick Nolty was the best in the studio. The master's on the laptop. Soft, handy, internet. It's like a master's on the screen.

- I'd say, you can say, "You can go back to school." - Yeah, you're my master's on the screen, right? - But you can't do anything. - Exactly. The master's on the screen.

"Make the guns with visor steuere, and when they are done, they will be caught." "That's right." "Safe. visor steuere."

"Now it's costin' us out for being."

"He got game." "Do both of them are right." "He got game running on." "Right now it's great." "Jesus shuttlesworth. Come on."

"Tick is official visit the Elon University in that." "He did it?"

"Yeah. When he bangs those white checks, they never saw."

"Sprie some? I never even got close to my cheek."

“"That's why you went to the U.S., it's because you watched the guy game."”

"I remember kids used to say at high school, like duty, on the women' dude ratio is crazy." "It wasn't ever even her to the place."

"Nope. Nothing you can do with that information."

"Yeah. There was a lot of vision." "Yeah. There's nothing you can do about it." "There's a lot of babes."

“"But it doesn't help when you're 300 pounds and you're quitting the football team."”

"When you're not on the team in 300 pounds, it's not that cool." "Yeah, but they say that all the time, I went to Arizona and everyone's like, 'Oh, there's over a part of school, you're like, 'I was poor.' That's a good thing." "Yeah, but I was poor and had to work.

That's where I got pussy." "We used to drive to Penn State and they'd be like, 'You think this is cool? Arizona.'" "There's only a lot of fun." "I just did Arizona recently and it holds up."

"It rocks." "There's only a state that's insane." "There's only a state that's left." "Yeah, I get a little off, bro." "Tube. I don't remember in this, right?"

"Is that where Phil Meckleson went?" "Phil Meckleson, like, bets golf in Arizona with Arizona kids?"

“"I might not be a remember that, right?"”

"Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it."