Ep 610 - The Bewick's Wren (feat. James Mccann)

Where yeah, you see the eggshells at least you would think but The pop becomes in every so often feeds them. They flies out. They have stayed together. Which I'm very happy. That's awesome It's not just the mom. There's this mom and dad are really. Yeah, it's a two-parent household. Yes How I guess the one the dad birds bigger, I guess stronger like uses a reason. How do you tell? Yeah Yeah, he nice smoking

He meets me back outside and he goes like, "Born me a beard brother my fucking." Just a symbol. My friends being a real bitch But yeah, that's very exciting stuff. And I got the bird bird house with a camera on it that will

Never be installed. You'll see that sitting on that island. No

The remainder of my time in this house. Where do you where do you get a mount that? Is that going to be on the phone? I don't know. I'm up there. There's that tree over there. I had to be knocked it out there. Hey, don't you don't got to tell me twice a clam that tree. I'll clamber up that thing. I would I would love clamber in a tree. I know I did fucking tree broke. What the hell was that about smash my car? We thought that was an AI picture. Look at that fucking sucked. Yeah, that's bullshit. How the hell did fall?

There's either way in the mirror. You know, it was just all that construction on the road and it's a dead tree and finally it just Fucking yeah, whoa. Okay. Yeah, I'm just shaking this fucking house. Yeah, crack. There's crack running through the floor in that bathroom. Do you know about this? No, it's not a split in half. So I walked crack. So I walked crack out there. Those vibrations. Yeah.

“Fuck shit up. Really bad. And same with that. No, that's like a whole part of civil engineering where you have to”

like the amount of vibration coming can like break windows and shit. It's pretty nice. Well, it's split a gigantic tree that then destroyed my car. And it's a weird thing to like hold people accountable for you. But you know your vibration. It's hard to prove. Yeah. But yeah, so they were doing stuff tree fell. Did it just like crack and half or did it? Yeah, like split and the mayor you were very it was nice. It was a good video. You sound because it was kind of a reveal. You started with the tree.

And I was like, oh, a tree broke. That's fucking crazy. You think it's sorry about your car. Oh my god. How are the boots? I was actually concerned about the birds. Were you worried about the mayor's friends kind of like using the fallen tree to like climb in up on the roof and into the house? I mean, I he had a friend here the whole time. What? Dorian was here. Oh, D's ever got a week. He was going on door. He was just to spend some time together. But I'll tell you

when you get off the road and you just want to fucking be alone in your house. You got the mayor and Dorian walk around. Thanks for letting me come and stay as well. You're all right. You're not as big a move.

It's Dorian and the mayor together. He kept offering to make ribs for everybody and I never happened.

He never gave me any ribs. He did make ribs because the mayor came home looking for him.

“And then was kind of accusatory acting like I ate the ribs. Who ate the ribs?”

You didn't eat him. You didn't eat him. Dorian ate. He did. He's true. He was already made ribs. He's ate him himself. It's like then that's crazy. If Dorian just took your food and he was like, "Well, he made him." He was like, "Oh, it's important part." But he ate a love and invite guys over in Grillin. That's good stuff. Just you and a guy. That's good stuff, dude. That's good clean food.

I know, it be it is if you do it like with, I don't know. You keep bringing different guys into my house and Grillin with them and then leaving. You gotta be a monogamous griller. I don't know. I feel like it grill take money.

Well, so it's always just one guy at a time. It's kind of a few fellas.

It's always just sneak into the garage. Well Grillin chill. I got some ribs. And then we can watch cartoons. Let's get fucking barbecue sauce all over the couch. Scared my birds. You scare those f*cking men. I'm gonna fuck you up, dude. Don't talk to them. Yeah, what is this smoking radio? Oh, they just cut damage. I just went back damage. I'm fucked up. I'm fucked up. I'm caught out of the corner of my eye. I'm like, I have like cat visions.

They think about playing Xbox and go, okay. Oh shit. They're back. They're actually other things bustling right now. Yeah. So the birds flew, but I don't know how birds work. Is that lady they just still chill and had to quarter up in there for all? Obviously, yeah. They're pretty active all that. Yeah, they're f*cking wrong. I mean, I bought them some bird food off of Amazon.

“I just put a little cup next to the gnats. I don't know if they're taken. I think either they're”

primarily knocked it over or a bunch of them made it. Yeah, they're probably marching that. I want them to be hardy. I want them. Yeah, you gotta have their skills. I'm sure the cardboard's not stable enough long term. You gotta put your stuff. I think it's stable.

Collins. There's Collins in there. Then that's a village aged. I'd be funny if you eventually

betray them by like my rooming their supports. Yeah, eventually I'll go home. I'm out of these. You're like the evil developer looking at the town. I could put those to good use. Yeah, they do have natural resources there. That might have to give them a democracy. (laughs) Tommy almost destroyed the structure. And that was great. I know.

Reach in, tell them to fly out of here. You got bats. You got fucking bats in you. I'm surprised you didn't get hurt. He's been injured. He was really hurt. Oh wow. He's been on toddler timelyly. Every time I see him, he's a new bruise. He's got a new boo boo every time I see him. He's got to hide him from his lady. Yeah, he said what's up to Nate. He rolled his ankle out front.

“Do you remember that? Yeah, this is the night after he was over here and ripped his shins on the”

fucking pool. They were like really fucked up. And his Beyoncé gets mad at him for it. Obviously. Because it's his bruise key double. So that he comes in a limp again. I'm like, what a fucking you limp in. And he was like, it's because my shins. I was like, no, it's not because he was he was like, I just rolled my ankle out front. It was a bear with two. He touched earth. Like, he went down. Oh, he did a mama me. He's right over the car right over here. He's

very emotional. And he can't. Yeah, no, he's small. He's got to watch out because he's he's getting to the age where that's a fool that puts you sit you down for a long time. No, he's just he said. Tell me. How much did you tell me from two years ago? He's aged 15, 20 years. Yeah, you'll see. All right. It happens to all of us. Yeah, it's happened to me. I've got to cry. Yeah, take a look. No, I'm sorry. My head is like, if I cut my head now, everyone can see them. Yeah. The harm hit 40.

That's it's just, you are not lying. It's gonna get way worse for me. Oh, dude, it's pretty crap played basketball again the other day. I still hurt. I had to do stand-up last night. I was

“on stage like my whole back was in pain. I was like, yeah, anyway. Gosh, no, I don't. But I think”

it probably work in the back. Yeah, I remember seeing the back last summer before I left. Dude, I'm still back was in this spooky place. You admire. We weren't the pool. I do. I saw him. You admire his men's physique. That's pretty good. Yeah, you know, man, if your physique is as natural as you've sight is, it's the most impressive transformation I've ever had appreciated. I was in the mirror. I was in the mirror literally two days ago and Brittany's like, what are you doing? I was like, James said

I had a big back last summer. I'm making sure it's still big. I'm still riding high off that

compliment. That's a nice compliment. Dude, it's huge. I never seen my back. I had no idea.

It's you, you do have a nice back to fuck man. Thank you guys. I'm going to be riding high. I'm going to be riding crazy off this dude. I mean, guys, we're strong backs. Secret jack. The Chris icon is shoulders. It's like, I mean, I'm working on this. We're working around. And then all the

“sudden you got good content on me. Yeah. I'm I'm excited for, you know, I'm still working hard. I'm trying”

to cut a little bit. So I'm excited for a reveal pretty soon. Oh, yeah, once the once the pool warms up and also the when the rents leave, then we can have a pool part. But I don't know. It's no. It's a lot of it for the rents leave. I would have been a full year old with cool shoes. I'm going to take my shirt off as be like. It's really going to say anything. Yeah, people I was nice dude. I'm going to be the opposite dude. Pop the top and sprint the floor with just

my head above the water for the entire time. Get that gator flow. Slotting right. Yeah, I mean, I, uh, it's kind of my attention. I'm a little aggressive for the basketball courts. I talk shit the entire time. Yeah, you were a cock sucker out there. Any time someone shoot. I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, god. Watch out. Oh, no. Any time I touch the ball, I'm like, give me that. Give me that ball. Just honks out there with you. No, we had a lot of honks. Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty good. You know,

my neighborhood, it's the racial distributions, like almost like engineered. Yeah, the first time I went over to your house for a party. I was a little like some weirds gone. It was just interracial couple. Yes. It's a, it's a, it's a bit of a college brochure of it. Yeah, it is. Dude, we had I fell bad in any and guy on my team for the last game, and then he was guarding and any and guy was guarding him. Oh, no. We got the ball and passed it to the wrong guy. And I was like,

dude, oh, I team looked at me to start laughing. Like, I hit him. That's fair. That's the, it was too curly here. It ain't the same fucking haircut. I was like, dad did that. So I've

had never seen any and got a basketball court ever. They were whooping. They were nice with

they whooping. Yeah, the, well, yeah, they weren't going to had a shot, but they had that. Yeah, that's true. When you see him, it's usually not. They, uh, it's like prison. They play with the Chinese guys, put it over there. They're the others on the basket. Oh, it's the day of three in the

guys are about. Is there an Indian athlete? That side of cricket. Is there anyone who's passed over to it? Like sometimes there'll be an Asian footy player in Australia, but yeah,

the great colleague, Asians fit first. I feel like you're like, here's like an Asian football player,

“right, kickers or something, definitely baseball. Yeah. Yeah, I think so, but I've never seen any”

Japanese and baseball doing great. Tell you what, the, uh, what is it? Hawaiian guys, whatever. They were doing well on the draft. Yeah, that's a lot of, yeah, that's it. And that's a, I feel like a Hawaiian guy's like, you get a lot of racial, it's a very safe racial excitement. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, what is that? You guys, you're like, campfires or something. You have cool tattoos. Like, you know, I was, I was some of the draft last night and I

don't know if it's the economy has gone worse, but the outfits they're wearing have become less ostentatious when they're getting picked. Last year, I met there was a lot of silk, double-breasted people wearing idordian ruffs and all sorts of crazy things. And this year, normal, normal suits, the summer ones had big suits. Yeah. And everyone just had a normal, there's a fair observation. Uh, I think, yeah, maybe it was a subdued draft. Last year,

everyone looked like they were in the capital at the hunger guy. Yeah. Subdued draft. Now,

“they'll bring that back. Don't worry, they'll be dressed like fucking idiots.”

Is it because there's a war in people going? It's not appropriate to, yeah, I don't think so. Where I'm setting, they'll break it out. It is true. So everyone's, like, kind of modestly, you're like, classically dressed. It was insane, last year. Yeah, that is pretty wild, man. It was probably the first time you really saw it. But now I've just become used to go, yeah, we're all totally used to, like a pre-game NBA walker is the craziest thing I've ever seen. Every outfits,

the worst outfit I've ever seen. The cool thing was going to go back to the late 90s. Huge jacket. Huge jacket, the ill-fitting pants of the late 90s. Yeah, that's the look that. Yeah. Chinkos, if somehow infiltrated the black community, I see a lot of dudes wearing like, super wide leather pants. That's nice. Yeah. So that is, that's, I don't know. I feel like that doesn't, I don't, I don't like it for them. Be honest. Jinkos. Yeah. It's not for them. I just think it doesn't

look right. I don't know. Unless you're like kick flipping or something on the way up there, it's just kind of weird. I see how you, yeah, they're stealing your culture. Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, yeah. So now, now you understand that, that could be a little frustrating. Well, they bring in the frosted tips. What else are they going to take away from us? They kind of have, yeah. Oh, here we go. This episode is brought to you by No Bull. Matt,

please speak for 15 to 20 seconds about the worst pair of pants you've ever had. And go. Worst pair of pants I've ever had. I, I know what they are. So I had these, another brand of high-end active wear, but they almost, they were so sleek. They felt almost like pantyhose and I would get a, and this is, I'm just talking pants right now. No Bull, I would have like a doorbell bolt. It looked like you could literally press the button and enter my house.

It was, they were so tough. First of all, they were like so tight on me. And I felt like a girl. You're saying you're digging nuts. We're sticking out. Yeah, like I was dressed, I felt like I was off enough that it would probably give you a slight job all day. That's the thing. But then it goes away. I was just so conflicted because I was like, am I borderline? Am I like that one politician's husband? If you know what I'm talking about? Oh yeah. I felt like him was a little bit worse

experience of pants ever and that was hard on the metal. You're going to, you're going to love this. No Bull is decided to put an end to our misery. Thank God. It's a training brand known for a award-winning footwear in a peril. And now they're bringing their no Bull shit out of the men's pants. What the fuck do you want to say that? I guess he's got a very edgy as hell. Starting with these things called the dealmaker. It's basically a full-on jean swap. Same look, but breathable, stretchy,

and actually comfortable. No stiffness. No weird breaking in period. None of that. Like a good jean

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fucking think about it? It seems impossible, but it's super soft. There's tons of stretch and they still look sharp as hell. Perfect. I'd die. I'm going to say, Mom, can you go the store? I need you to buy me the dealmaker and the game changer. She's going to go something that's bullshit. I'm going to go

“no mom. That's no bull. It's grizzly for secret podlessness. There's no bull. I mean, that's the”

I am a mad man. They're all in there. Sid and Jarvisky in this chair. Exclusively for secret podlessness. No bull is offering 35% off your first and holy shit. 35% off your entire first order. There's a noble project.com and use code secret pod for 35% off your entire first order. That's noble project.com and use code secret pod. Respectfully. Jeans had to get run. Dude, me and Nate were fired up on the six years the other day.

That was a fun game dude. Dude, it was awesome. They all went up. They were on stage and I saw

it's like the fourth court. I always saw it was the fourth court and I saw it like the

six years old. Max, he came out with a layout. That was screaming to the crowd and one, it might have been my favorite. Dude, you see, even before that, just draining those two threes and just like crazy coming to the three and hit that wig. Oh, dude, why if I were alive, I would be the same thing. I hit fucking 10 seconds back and I go, dude, check this out. But you just fucking wink, dude, I fucking pulled with that. Nate was on stage while it was like, oh shit, it was getting close.

“He went up and I'm watching Maxy ball out and I was just looking up there like, where is he?”

He needs to see this man. This is, we were both, we were fired up. That was great. It didn't expect that one. I was just getting into Philly while that was happening and it was funny because when you get into, it was the whole city was orange for the fires and the fires were playing the next night. That night, the six years were currently playing. It was like, it's funny that the city is already like just giving up. Yeah, everybody's set for them. Then that game, that was great.

Yeah, it was now I hear it in beads. I don't, I don't know. I part of it, I think they're trying to fuck with Boston. It'd be like, he might come, so put it like, so they prepare for that, because he is a pedic, he just had, no one's come back two weeks after having the appendix removed. I think it's a good bird. How many fucking guys have gotten that during a season? It happens more. It happened a few times during the season, but the playoffs is where people were like,

maybe because it's the playoffs go rush them back. They also do have some crazy stuff now, medically. Like, I feel like ACLs now, they just, they pop you, like, right back. But appendicitis? I mean, compared to what, yeah, I feel like it ended. Yeah, appendicitis is like, yeah, you're, you got to be down for like at least three weeks, dude. I would imagine. But is that a sports, is that like a sports recovery? Or is it just like a walk around? Yeah.

Ruff and tumble play. Especially, he's going to play. Ruff and tumble. Yeah, sure. Now, on on the ground, every fucking 10 seconds, if we can win one more, make it a definite like game six in it, like six games scenario, I think he'll pop back up. What do you think about tonight? I think, uh, Celtics by 50. What? Usually, usually you win a game like that. Yeah, I was wondering. Usually, uh, I like the very end when they just put it in all their white

guys and they were just breaking threes all the edge. When your whites are missing threes, it's like, yeah, you're done. That's bad. That's bad stuff. Yeah, they put, they threw in the fucking scrub squad at the very, you tell them, like, I fucked this game. We'll get it next one. I think we can get one more at home. I don't know about this very next one, but we can get one more at home. Yeah, it's going to be exciting. Yeah. I think I do think bosses are going to come back strong.

When you're, when you're missing like that, you're just like, I got the worst over down some

sort of fun. You didn't ever, they never shoot like that. That's, that's the problem. That was

prior to worst game all season. Shoot me. But there might be defense. I'd be to match up. The man is evil ass. Because he's a hater. He is a hater. He pretends he's not easy to

“actual hater. Yeah. That's why I don't want to watch him. Which is crazy for a guy who doesn't”

really give a fuck about sports. He just, he's just an idea. He's an, he's an anime wrestling video game guy. And then he'll be like, fuck this six years. It's just an evil. We, we're all happy for you to see Cody who is. What do you mean? It's owned by a manager group, right? There's not owned by one guy. It's owned by a group. People who are, so that's why you don't like that one. That's the only goal is to make money not to be good or what? To fuck you think you don't do wrestling. What do you think

wrestling is? No, I'm saying that's not in the spirit of sports to it. Like when it's like, when it's like Larry Balmer owning the clippers, the clippers are going to try. But when it's like a

group of dudes who own like five teams, I've never heard this. Well, this is exciting to me. You

want, you think if there's any, if there's more than one owner? No, it's a managing group. It's like venture capitalists like owned a team. Yeah. Yes. But still the team is still the kind of still the country's trying to make money. They're not trying to like win. They're just trying to make sure they milk money out of people. I don't know what the Dallas Cowboys have been doing, but I think it's trying to do that. Even though the goal is to win, because that makes the most money. You're

not true. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It's been a win. Definitely true. Again, people in the seats, if you're good. Yeah. And you can still be a single owner, but they probably have investors, too.

“You know what I mean? So what do you mean? You don't think that's true. I don't think you have to win”

way. You sell more merch if you win the Super Bowl. What about the Cleveland Browns?

What about the Cleveland? They sell out every year, but they never win. What about the Green Bay

Packers? They've got a team on a ship. You know? They win. But that doesn't have a single owner. That's everybody buys in everybody's community. The Flyers. Yeah. They've sucked for a decade. Yeah. Now they're back. This now it's like packed when they put. Yeah. And they're actually like, even the players are like, holy fuck. I don't even know it could be like those. And it's like they're selling out every like, you understand? Yeah. But are they owned by a management group or a little

Winning helps financially. Yeah. Yeah, for the most part. There's usually, yeah.

“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Well, that's a good theory. I like the idea of it”

of being like, you know, I want, I want a guy. This, you know? This isn't a shit. Just put up, like, it's a reason for you to just not like, to talk shit on Nate's team. Yeah. You don't even have a single owner. That's great. You know the F 45 gyms? Huh? If I have to tell you about the F 45 gym man, he's an Australian man who invented that kind of gym. And then he came out and he started buying teams. He came to America and he started buying teams, but he didn't have huge money. So he bought like a

rugby league team. I think like a very low level baseball team, but he named them after our cocktail that he was inventing. I think I'm getting this right. I'm going to, like his name was Adam Gilchrist. And he called them like the Gilgrownies, because he was going to come out with his own personal cocktail called the like the Gilgrown like in the Grownie. But he's known. Yeah. But then he went

bankrupt and the cocktail never came out, but the team had two years of playing as an Austin Gilgrown

and they changed the name. And like people were very upset who were fans of the team. And everything about it, I'm not saying that he was necessarily a huge cocaine addict. But yeah. Everything about it screams he bought two teams. He named them both after cocktails that never came out. He was fan to be legally playing the players or something. And then they like they just went away to play in the playoffs. And now they've folded and now there's no team in Austin.

And that's a single owner. I'm there. See it's a habit. I was a tie. Am I getting this right? You need a checks and balance for the organization? You know also the single owner? Germany. True. You want a strong man? I think you just miss it in Vince McMahon.

“Yeah. I think that's what it is. Vince. I think he's rejecting his Vince loss onto the sexers.”

How'd you feel about Mania? Oh yeah. I'll say some brother. I'm kind of glad it didn't go. Really? We're about Cody Rhodes. Cody won. That was nice. Yeah. It was cool. But it made me a dude. There was a lot of slabs. Also Cody Rhodes kind of like we get in

data juice. Come on. Buddy. We'll go to WrestleMania. He did. Cody Rhodes never reached back.

He'd be in promises LeBaire. LeBaire had his bags packed. He's like daddy's coming to get me soon. That's on the tree when they're there. I didn't even want to go to WrestleMania. It wasn't even good one. He didn't say anything and then like the day before it was like, Shane, can you ask Cody Rhodes if I can go to WrestleMania? No. He has to fly me to WrestleMania. How do you get the Vegas for like 150 bucks on like planes? Yeah, it's cheap as hell dude.

No, Vegas is like notoriously cheaper, right? Because they like her and sacrifice it. Direct flex like $800. Oh, for man. Yeah. Work arounds. Yeah. I was doing a bad it can make thing fly. He's doing a bad it can make thing fly. Yeah. I was going to take a flight the bird bank and get

“off in Vegas. This stops in Vegas. Dude, that you should have done your personal road to WrestleMania”

where you just got meta glasses and just like film the whole journey of like, I'm going to get in here. One way or the other must take it. What do you mean get off the bus? What do you mean get off the different stuff? No. I got it. That's smart. You need a connecting flight. No, but you get the connecting flight in another location. You get off in the middle. Yeah. Whoa. Don't get back on it. Yeah. Okay. And it's very sneaky. So you just get off in your out. Yeah. I mean Vegas is where I want to go.

Smart. Yeah. I don't even know that was possible. They tried to hold me and Nate had to do that. We flew. We got re-routed and ended up in Cleveland and there we had to go to Cincinnati or one of the other and then we like landed in the place where we could just drive and be there and the lady was like, you guys can't get off the plane. I was like, I'm getting off the plane. I have a car and it's not safe. And I was like, I don't feel safe right now. I was playing. I got to go. I was telling Nate, I was like,

bro, I'm not the fake and heart attack. You're going to have to do it too. So I was going to be like, oh, Nate, you're like, oh, me too. We got to go. Yeah. But they let the pilot was chill. He was like, yeah, they can get off man. It's let him off. I didn't tell you about this. It's some guy trying to like, flight big dick. He's like, dude, I fly like 300 times a year. This is not a big deal. I was like, I'm not saying it's a big deal. I got it. I just have to leave this plane.

Like the fuck out of my face, dude. Trust me, brother. This is nothing. All right, man. Fuck out of here. God. I was like, I just have to go because if I went back to Chicago and then I'd stuck there, I would have like missed the show. Yeah. It's like this is not a big deal. It's okay. It's cool, man. Yeah. Who are you? Shut up. Stay out of it.

who cares? If I just like disobey the stewardess, I'll get, I won't be able to fly you night. I don't even like, you know, I don't like myself. I could see myself doing that. What? That awful behavior of sitting next to somebody. I mean, like, I take a lot of flights. This is nothing. I could catch myself in a moment of being a giant dude. I'm one of someone next to me. I don't think I would. Yeah. Well, I'm saying I'm capable of that. That would be something I would regret. Yeah. Yeah.

But I could be like, I fly all the time. I'll catch myself saying it at like the airport,

or I'll just be, yeah, same thing like, yeah, I actually fly a good amount. But I would never

interjecting in a person trying to gain freedom from the airline to be like, dude, you just got to stay here. It's like, well, dude, I'm not going to a fucking corporate banquet where I can just not show up. I would think to myself, this guy must be freaking out if at the connecting flight. He's just like, you know what? I'll get out here and I'll drive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're fine. Fly a lot. It's how all the airports are built. There's to turn us against one another. So you know,

you know, you can fly and rise up. I've thought about this a lot as to why that why I

airports the uniquely. There's not like a nice traditionally designed airport. They're all cold

angles and glass and judgment split you up. Make you feel atomized so that when there's a delay or whatever, you don't, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you don't band together. They won't you turn it. Sorry. Well, you're talking the fucking ran flu right back in the time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like new iguardia.

It's like new iguardia. It's like people are dislocated from like time. You don't know like you're different like like a casino. And I'm happy. Well, they were talking more like it's almost like a dream space where you're kind of like no one knows like you're in a different place. You don't know what if you're going to get to go or not. The time zones are all scattered. It kind of fucked people. That's why people freak out. What's that music that I can't figure out what that music is that plays when they play a liminal space on a real. It's been stuck in my head for days. You know what I'm talking about? It's like Donkey Kong music. Yeah. Like underwater Donkey Kong music. It makes me every time it pops up on the real. I don't even know. I don't even look at the meme. I just feel sad.

I've been watching Google get kicked off. The Midwest safety is taking over my algorithm. How good is my algorithm? What's the Midwest best is just long body came videos? It's great dude. Great narration got breaks down the story. Yep. The officer recap. I like the officer. He's a fili. He was a fili officer by the way. Was he fili? Yeah, he recaps like this. What happens is very common. I'm I'm so ready to now for civilian disturbances. I was in a I wasn't Phoenix recently and I saw this homeless lady, you know, she like went and met up with her like homeless boyfriend.

And they were sitting outside of pizza place eating at a one point in the guy. I was like, that's fucking bullshit.

“And I was like, I might have to intervene right now. And I looked over and the lady just went, why don't you look at that?”

I was like, whoa, what the hell? You said I've been watching a lot of Midwest safety just so you know. I will call the cops right now and we'll trigger. So if you move quickly at all 15 shots in your fucking car there was one. It was sad, but there's a guy who was pretending to work on a house and he was just I think he was probably just like stealing the pipes or whatever. So the cops like he's like, nah, he's like, I'm working here guy. And he kept it was he was like lying, but he was pretty. He was like

It seemed like he was smooth with it in his head, but he was also like he would say the same thing over and over you go places shit. Oh, you guys got to see he kept trying to do like contract and talk and he was like, what do you want to do in an area? He's like Pulling job, don't pump job and drive all company and they'd be like, okay, and you know, and eventually he's like the lady said you didn't get hired and he was just like,

I got a gun. He ran inside. He's just ran inside and he did see a side by cop who said. Yes, shot him the head. It's really. Oh, it's pretty. It's like cops were like on HBO cops basically

Kill him and then the cops come to a guy shot them. There's that you get to see him talk shop and they're sitting there and they're like because he did like

“Brandage what looked like a weapon at them and the one cop rolled up he goes, yo, I knew that guy guy. He just was a boxer man. You would fuck to you up dude. If you guys had a fault like I knocked people fuck sucked. Did you jits you terrible?”

Did you fuck that ass over his body? He was like that ass box of the mask guy was great. And then we got to get him out of here. He's dead. There's so many good ones. I just wanted I mean, it's obviously really sad because it's a guy with like PTSD clearly like a meth void rage type thing But he's in on the bottom floor of this like apartment complex. So his windows go out into like the courtyard part But they're like while they're approaching they're like we we got a disturbance and they just they look into the room

And you see him in the corner like naked just like stand up and he's gigantic he's like He comes to the window and to fight all the cars Oh, there's so bit. There's like please stop stop stop dude. What do you want to fucking die tonight? Jesus well Yeah, he'll just man

“Fuck, but is that all the videos not all not all trying to get suicide?”

No, not all I'm somewhere hilarious. Oh good. Yeah, yeah, there's some of them are really strong. There's his drunk

So he was at like a work like a convention kind of thing where he's supposed to like stand at a table without a hand out information

He ditched it got hammered in like a strip mall restaurant edge and it comes outside. They're like kick him out. He's just outside of the cops And they're like talking to him and out of nowhere. He would just go I got that good cuz you know My weekend I don't know what

And he like they're like call neighbors. I will he was like play Spotify and be like play young It was he was the funniest dude bro. What had happened there? He just would hit on the lady cop the whole time the guys were talking me You know tell them to stop talking me. I only want to talk to you He said yeah, you're so I love you so much. Dude. He was so and then they tasted him and he was like He fell down he got up he goes

You know, thanks for doing that kind of like that do it again You can stop get out here. His boss comes and picks him up. He's like you fucking asshole get in the car That was uh they did everyone's my favorite fun one like that. Yeah. It was shad Yeah That was mid was a

Yeah, it was a mid was safety classic the name shad. There's also there was one guy who barricaded himself in his house

“Those are always good. No one ended bad. He got I think he got shot. Yeah, you put up a fucking fight”

And there cops are always so excited to break out. They're like why do we have this military tank

This fucking giant bear cat swat vehicle Just to put a fucking battering around on the front of it break down some guys shitty front door He's an after on fucking kitchen knives Gast about for like four hours Like the sun's going down. We have to go in. I don't know how he's still in there. Oh

He's just creating barricade in the house. Dude. It's eventually put out a gun and they killed him. They'll get him But he was throwing a lot of stuff for a while which was throwing knives as wild They tried to throw a fucking gas canister in that seemed throw it right back out Yeah, he's got his field in these things I like when the dude slipped the handcuffs can a cool women slipped the handcuffs a lot

Yeah, there was a lady slipped the handcuffs and stole a cop car and jumped in the front and just fucking be lying it and just drove 80 miles an hour And then she like pulled off into the woods and luckily slowed down and just whacked an old stone wall You see the inside cam. She's like Yeah, I mean, it is really horrific It's the Midwest it's my whole algorithm now. She's dashed and then there's the other ones that like to get pretty wicked man

Yeah, you're like now I'm staying middle. Let's check that bottom where it says Midwest safety. Yeah, I always do there's some of whom where I'm just like

Yeah, because at least they blur out the I carnage. Yeah, it's true Midwest safety. I saw one where a guy it wasn't Midwest safety in mass shootings No, I steer clear. I tried to keep those one really fucking bad those ones are sad. I steer clear I saw one that was pretty fucked up on it. It was like a different thing, but it was that guy who had worked in a

“I guess like a some sort of care unit for like the developmentally disabled and there was a lady who I think of what she had”

But she was like basically eventually. She couldn't move couldn't talk into anything and he impregnated her So they're just like doing a routine thing and they're like Dude, she's pregnant and they're like what the fuck? So they had to do like an investigative thing to figure out like what's with it? It's numerical. Dude the guy was just as young kid. He was a boxer So then they like interviewed him. He was like, no, I never got to spend a long time by the one that everyone else the interview was like check with this guy

Family fucked it dude. He did and well, so they did a paternity test But they were like they showed footage of him and he would be around or I think they talked about it He would walk around the wildest market. Oh, he would stand over them and just be like Yeah, you're just jam the box And then yeah, they they like when they reveal the paternity test they like told him like well

You're actually you are the father and they just I had the camera on him still He goes fuck Dude fuck Jesus please help me. Please. I'll do anything He's like I'll be poor my rest of my life. I don't care like do you go to jail for like three of me poor Yeah, you'd be poor the rest of your life. You fucked a vegetable lady. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, that's really sad sorry. What is this channel dude? It's Midwest safe. That's not mid west saying no That was you that's like you'll if you start with mid west That doesn't sound like a middle of safe. That is not a mid west safe. He sounds like a more above it It sounds like a dream well dude. Here's the weird part of mid west safety because they arrest women There's a lot of female arrests and there's an undeniably erotic component to the whole thing where it's like a lady and yoga

And it'll be sad it'll be like She's drunk behind the wheel her one-year-old is like trapped underneath the car seat and they like pulled the kid out And then she's just like gaming my fucking baby right now Yeah, it's like wrestle her to the ground. It's just like the tauth you're saying this and we're on it

“I think there's an undid old that one wasn't very erotic, but there'll be ones where they like wrestle lady down”

Until like a hotel bed while her boyfriend's getting like beat up, and I'm like this is kind of kink. This is Just kind of kink. We yeah, it's not mine, but I'm like it's you can see where it comes from. Yeah, there's a big strong guy coming in beaten

They leave but he said you're probably your boyfriend the whole time is like he's raping me

Dude, there's one guy you could pull it and stop He's raping me It's quality. It was great. It's so funny. It's quality stuff. Sorry. This is my last one with the the one where You understand you're doing for me. I'm so happy to know you found me. Oh, it's so it's all I watch on the play now the best Dude, he goes download him for the flight

What happened? It's just the best scenario ever because there's two people on a work trip It's the wife's work trip the husband's just there gets hammered at the bar It was like I guess he was like a quarter native American Which comes in a play later and he uh, so the woman just gets woken up to officers

He's being like wake up and she's like she's also drunk. Say what and the husband's like Some guy started with me babe. I stood up for myself to learn about it You're just fighting people This is over like saying like this is my land. You stole it from me. They're like shut up and he's like Yeah, yeah, so then home. Damn. He tried to reclaim his land. He tried to reclaim his land

He was like a holiday in his friends, so then a hockey dad dude. They're like yeah exactly

Guys on a travel team getting wasted shut up and then he said he's like I'll stand up for my cell never stops

“Standing up for myself and he kept trying to step to the cops. They days know you must have got it with the name of American algorithm”

Dude, I think so I've seen a lot of things Those are my favorites Modern day name Americans like you're on stolen land never forget that and then they do a fucking ceremonial dance every comments like Fuck you pussy scoreboard. You lost you had a home quarter manager lost bitch Fuck you so we need scoreboard. I don't know if what I'm about to say is true

It's what I just found out about Oklahoma what? Cities there are rules about sex offenders that they can't live like a certain distance from a school or other Type things so what they they do in the cities is they organize They space the schools and the other places that sex offenders can't go near so the sex offenders can't stay anywhere It do a full city plan to like lock it. Do you know what I'm saying like that's great a force fuller in it

But then the pedophiles have to live in a little satellite town Like a town full of six offenders. Yeah, and that's where they go and stay because I kind of also stand one building To it maximum. So there are like these little satellite Paint of all communities just on the outside If I was killed no, people would have to do better. I know

Yeah, we don't want more guests. We're fucked

“We're ready to mix out at two pedophiles in the building. That's why you can only have one guy at a time”

It's always like I'm having a big barbecue party, but just one of my pedophile buddies

Even Dorian. They're having a courtship. They both have the parole officers next to Second one hot well it's also every city. I feel like the city's in Oklahoma are all surrounded by reservations like the Indian reservations too So it's like you got the res you got the city and then it's pedophile They'll set the file satellite town trip park. What's that just middle or the pedophiles pelle dude pedophile park is pervert park Florida that Joe that is a sad dog. Everyone he had really sad watched pervert part of all trailer park

Pedophile trail park Florida drives by throws bottles at it Then then you talk they interview the pedophiles who have all obviously had the worst Yeah, except for one guy That about yeah, there was one original vampire one original vampire Yeah, the rest of them tell you their life story because you're like fuck these better

You see bottles flying over at him like good and then you like tear their story. You're like, oh, that's fucking really bad Then there was one guy who was like It's got fucking horny man. I drove drove to Mexico and trying to take a kid and you know like beat my ass and I drove away I got arrested on the water Fuck you should fry that guy

Yeah, I was just jammed up man. I should figure out I could take a kid for me It was just stressful days. It was just fucking warmed up Yeah, we've all had yeah, it's real, but the documentary is just a lady who's a pedophile and it's just like yeah, I was like Let's fucking my dad. She would like fuck her dad on and off as an adult. It was it's per record

“I tell the thing on I just choose on again off again. Yeah. Well, I think she'd been obviously”

Vampire bit in early in life, and then she was just like yeah Yeah, you look break up with her boyfriend's man. I thought it was like vampires Yeah, pretty much dude pretty much all of them for the most part have you lost those kids? We got to break the cycle. Yeah, just don't miss kids. Yeah, but chemical castration Yeah, that's right there. I think that's fair

Yeah, well, you guys getting all these fucking Oklahoma effects That fuck's going on here. We've actually been studying Oklahoma very well. I think she's gone We're gonna master Oklahoma pedophile Damn, so it's leeks what a panhandle so small in Oklahoma it's for little penis What is it just sever your desire does it like fuck your gen's up like what is it?

It makes me unhappy to think about I only thought about it because I watch makes much of the begun

Really, do you know what up? Do you know the movie? Yeah, yeah, I watched it on the flight. He was very good Maybe a pedophile cop it's sort of hinted at that. He might be a pedophile, but then they oh

“You know, I think they make it pretty clear. He liked molested the major”

He says I'm sorry. I did that to you. I never did it to another kid. Yeah, okay, and it's uh

You know he's very good and you know You know and upset me the whole film upset me. Yeah Pedophile stuff stuff. At least I'm not glorifying it You know, chemical castration is I think it's a fair route for the pedophile You know, but then it's like what do they hell you do with them? What do you what he's like that'd be a good coming of age tale

Pedophile chemically castrated has to find himself get on the threatened area call the friends barbecue one-on-one Because what do you do after that you're a pedophile you've been shamed yeah now you're like Altered physiologically where you can't do that you'll never do that thing ever. I would imagine It's like what do you do you got to just boss up in a fast food chain so The glow up will be crazy the comebacks no build price you got a college study hunt

Yeah, then has sideswicks. I mean you invent AI you're completely undistracted

You can find me fucking just a rake of your mom's leaves very efficiently forever Become a cooling champion

“Yeah, I mean that's gotta be crazy because that's where they go they go usually they live with their mom”

After you get a pedophile get busted back to mom. Yeah, then your mom dies now you're alone Pedophile It's got to be a minute the future just you're the computer like let me just look. Yeah. I mean it's getting glimpse rolled time sick Cops come immediately Yeah, I'd be bad

Good stuff Yeah chemical gas fair. I've chemically cast a couple times. Yeah, with the B L You're gonna be B L I'm got name Nothing's working You're running Oklahoma drills. Yeah, yeah, it's the Oklahoma drill

That's tricky though because if you don't chemically castrate yourself enough now you're super predator now you become Dang that but yeah, that's a that's good stuff. I didn't know they have they said it up to us I'm gonna tell that I don't know what the other buildings are that they could talk to me My friend who made my shirts who came down from Oklahoma You went out for bricks and ask me some information that he knows

Well he's he's his wife works in it was a wood they used that wasn't halfway house that was a halfway house Great coverage set or recovery house Yeah, but um, that's where I heard a bit and she'd heard a better. I don't know again. I don't know how true it is Pedophile recovery house. It feels crazy Well, they do lumped though. They lumped

Pedophile recovery house is not All the circles be like pretty normal day pretty chill. Oh, yeah It's all the bus the other day. That's a new reality show they're doing they get 10 of them in there and if they do if I could child They have to be removed from the house and the last one

“We know it they win. They win it trip to Thailand. That's what wins. I'm free. I'm a day to Thailand. No questions asked”

All right This is my idea for a show. That's a bad show. You hold off on the big reveal on the prize Is that could turn viewers off is you're a bestie like I really root for this guy. You're right here I got other ideas for sure Russell brand has gotten trouble Yeah, I think he kind of did that to himself on that one. Oh, yeah, I mean obviously

No, he's like fucking government's coming up with bullshark I just buck me on this and he goes I've that fuck the 16 year A while back Reps niches there was allegations against him a while back that he had fully been like this is a deep state Obviously, and then I think yeah, I think the probably this grew too hard. He's like

Yeah, there was that one time he was it was it within his legal right That's that's the whole thing you finish with different about it, you know, it's quite recently and yeah You could back then you could just have sex with 16 year olds in England you still can I think still can yeah, shouldn't shouldn't not at all friend upon very friend upon So

Not my Still my I did it urine It looks like it's yours You need to produce yourself We got it we got to pause anyway. Yeah, I'll be right back hot this episode is brought to you by

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prize picks. All right here we go guys Is anyone want to go first by the way? I don't want to take out go ahead let me out get in there Everybody going to be in Florida May fifth me six me seventh me eighth me ninth and that'll be back home But also a may fifth there's optimal knocks at the cricket cave so please check them out

We're merely definitely never reals. All right, thank you. Oh, it's uh

May 16th is all I got right now Toronto will be nice, but I believe it's full

“May 16th then very much in Toronto on May 15th. May 15th. Yeah”

What's up? It's good time to be in the six. Is it really what in May? May 15th? Why I'm in there May 15th New Drake release what are you gonna be there? May 15th. It's gonna be you know No, yeah, that's gonna be awesome. Well, hell yeah, do we go all look forward to that and guys the next day there's some tickets left for the Riviera theater in Chicago, Illinois and yeah, that's may we we got time But I'll be honest that that one I wouldn't lie to you that one's gonna sell out so

Come celebrate the end of this part of the tour in Chicago may 16th that's it May fourth I'm at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles May 7th there's still tickets available for the May 7th Thursday show at the T.D. Garden in Boston And then that's it obviously July 17th come watch me have a heart attack in front of the entire city of Philadelphia Fuck

Albuquerque Phoenix San Diego Los Angeles Seattle Portland Chicago New York Boston Pittsburgh Orlando Naples and Tampa and San Francisco. I'm coming to you this month. It's gonna be a big month

“JDF McHand dot com all gonna are at now James don't force became catamaran plan. Oh, yeah big times”

Yeah, get in that Sean Hello everybody, I'll be yeah again trying to fucking camera and don't do this cute bullshit just fucking do it Everybody else right now. Dude just I'll be a Springfield Missouri Tulsa Oklahoma and Oklahoma City in Cincinnati, Ohio in the month of May, please call my god Sean good dini dot com why are you so mad at me? I'm not of joking dude

Oh Oh, I got it. I got a funny one nice Sean's demise They fucking guy attacked you We were doing we did this celebrity we did this celebrity theater in Phoenix and Sean's wrapping up

You know, we're in the round it was it was truly just all our skills. That was rule. It's fucking sick It's harder than I thought I was all cocky. I was like On the round for a fucking 20,000 was Shane just unleash me. Dude. I went up there. I was like Sean was just up there They stood pretty still The entire time and I'm like, hey, something moving what the fuck? It's kind of weird and as any sort of like moving around towards a metal and

He's doing his clothes or an as he's like almost done some goddess goes F*ck It was from behind me He was like Jave K. He just blew my brains. Yeah, and he was up high as a grassy doll Dude

Yeah, he got him Sean got strong got revenge for sure But it was uh it was then I I walked out there. I'm like why he was like so tight Walk up as soon as I stood up there. I was like, oh Jesus Christ this is kind of difficult and it was it was fun

But it was a lot harder. Yeah, first time I ever did that. I was with opening with hurt and I literally just

Rotated in a circle my left and I looked down the cord was around my feet dude. That's the thing to give you a Corrid Mike so at whole time I was like trying it It was fun, but I was like god damn that was I kept slipping into like I felt like I was like at one point I kept late to myself. I'd be like just felt like Christopher Titus kind of I had to be very like in another thing like if you like doubt yourself at all You feel like you I would just fall apart so I had it just be like

Yeah, I had to be the ultimate performer. I kept laughing myself. I was like the ultimate human Is you couldn't you can't like yes, I don't know about struggling with that just in general of like you got to actually start Taking yourself seriously Enough to be a performer Like these dudes helping me with the roast writing the roast like mulling is like

Disconnected awkward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like you can do this and I'm like oh yeah. I got no chance

“I'm gonna go up there and be like dude. I didn't write these jokes as fuck. And we're this one's funny though”

This is uh, blah, blah, blah. No, you did. I thought you did good at the sps. I thought I was very That was a very clean. Yeah, but I was still like You should have to give up the shit. I mean, it's like going to Dane Martin and go on What if you didn't have so many drinks before you went at that night? Yeah, I don't think you need to switch it up You don't need to be dry. No, you mean when you're on that there is a thing though

You're on camera and they were like yeah It was I felt a similar pressure was just kind of just for some reason being around Really I couldn't be like Fuck man, I don't know. I had to turn around and be like here's another thing. I'm thinking about that. I totally believe it That's a great and at the whole time I had him like this sucks. You're retarded and I'm like no be quiet

We're in the round. Yeah, tightest mode right now. It's time I don't know I just sit on a chair and because 60% of you won't be looking at me. I would have a fucking panic attack dude I still believe in the lazy Susan. I think that would be good

“I think the show I think you should stand still and the state should slow it does does revolve but it didn't it wasn't on for mine”

It doesn't for bands yeah Happy so sick dude. That's the one thing too when I was in there. I was like I just want to play the music so bad I wish I could just play music in this place it'd be awesome. Yeah music would be so much better Let it go on stay to Zack Ryan's and sing a song. That's awesome sing lawyers guns and money. How awesome did that feel? It was fucking sick. Yeah, that's it rules. It was awesome past feet of whole time when you're like doing that

You're you're just a whole time like this. It's awesome just hitting people with like dumb ideas about like the gianters are weird you guys cool over there. All right everyone on board. Let's go I'm a professional especially in the round when you turn around you realize everyone's kind of Checked out a little yep like when you turn back around that's when people get it's funny because they're being polite I guess because they don't get up together bathroom when you're facing them. Yeah, it's like I'll turn around people big

It's like a teacher There was one kid back down get off your phone There was one kid who every time I would turn his direction he would be like he was completely spread out and his hot

“I was just like every time I look at him like fucking punk god damn it then he laughed really hard at one thing”

I was like oh my god, I'm huge goal. He's cool. All right guys great round is nice though when people are yelling Yeah, there was somebody else. I go all right fuck that corner Now you're on time now. That was the other thing too They were it was the routeiest crowd I'd had in a long so the whole time they just big It was like you get this is not the place for this guys behave yourselves. Please

But it was it was very fun. I had a good time and I really I was like dude that was it was it was it was so hard It was like genuinely difficult. I was you know So I my ex people once I got four ex people once I got that I was like I got I got I leveled up for sure

No, and then I went to two say always happens to me. I'm like I'm going to two son right after this rip I'm about the crush

It literally had a panic attack on stage Completely just kind of self-quel within myself like yeah Dude, I don't know man. I told you guys I'm married I'm like fuck dude It's it happens like every ten time I'll have a point where I'm like seven minutes in I go like What it be weird if I took a break for five minutes came back and I'm like yes

Extremely knock this off right now and then it just goes away and it's always a huge relief for my guy cool Just completely absorbed in every ever that is break would be Not like I feel so good no two fellows. I'll be right back everybody 10 minutes Okay grab a drink. I'm gonna go take deep breaths. I'm gonna be box breathing outside. I'll be right back And I definitely am not coming back

You're never gonna give me back on stage. I'm getting in the car. I might work. It has a bit and just be like

I was fucking around my old panic attack bid. I'm back. I did the round last night I just saw me I was like tight as out there. It's crazy. It's from yeah Could be a fun way to end the show Take a quick and a mission. I'll be right back and just sprint sprint out of this All right, you're building it you build it in you say good night early when you want to go

Yeah, because none of our shows happen. That's where you get your standing Ovation that's where you get your little break and then you get your own cool fine Yeah, but I'm like nine minutes in That means that you're really going to get that on screw you're going to build eight on nine on course in the show You just keep getting to go off. Have a think about it and come back. It's nice but guys. That's it for me. Thank you

All right, I'll come back Yeah, it would not work your comedy. No, if well, you got to train the audience people got to learn

They would never give him the round of applause. It would never be an encore so everyone would just start

They would ride if I did 10 minutes You're going to get the word out. You're going to get the word out. It's going to be on court time. All right People have to know it's like the opera. You know there's going to be a symphony you got You got to teach the audience to uncle true true. It's not fair that we don't get done cool No, I'm when I'm done. I'm so I'm so happy never not enough to 15 minutes going back out than

It's been I I don't know what that does my body when I just when I'm like having and it's just a physical symptoms I'll be like what the fuck's that and I go great. I know what that is and I go anyway guys and I'm going Gonna fucking pass out. This isn't good. Is it again? And I just go no and in my body just slowly comes back

“I'm like that is some kind of where in the ring that was telling how you would like that. What's it called the physical ring?”

The ring to the ordering, but then I said have it what it said like when you're on stage you said I take it off I don't want to know well, you know what I'm showing you hot right through the noise. You know it's weird I worked one time. I did it for a whole hour. I was curious like what I want to remember my body's up to you You know it's funny it started out like the highest stress possible and by the end I'm at like completely restored and peaceful

Really? So I'm like so probably relieved you're like talking once I get the first 15 minutes. I'm good

Yeah, but if I start like something happens that first 15 minutes or I'll go like dude I think you skipped a giant chunk of material. I go what is it? I don't know Remember it, but I know I did you couldn't finish with like you're gonna be done with like 27 minutes left You're gonna be fucked and I'm like no, I'm not stop. Come on. Can I take a break? I'm sorry that heart monitor for that short or the Chicago Friday night with the audio. Yeah

You've seen spikes corals or spikes through the brutal corals can proof did any time There was reverb. I was just like what the how could this be happening? Yeah, that was you did this

“That's fucking brutal because then you're like well, maybe doesn't sound so bad the crowd”

That was the other thing up on stage all you could hear is your speakers all around you So it's just your voice echoing in your head and you're just like please make that stop Please, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say and it's me and it's coming around from 360 degrees stop Yeah, that happens But yeah, that was I was happy to champ that every time I walk in cocky

I got like the it was so funny walking up and being like He's guys have no idea. I'm a vetter into the round and I just walked up and was like Crazy fuck what the fuck dude Fuck man and that would start a joke here and ended over here and I'm like fuck you guys

But I were paying attention to the first part shit that

That happens just takes you back to the first it's the equivalent of man. He's lots of bright up here This background's pretty loud. That's like the first time I had sex

“It's very unnatural and it gets me every time”

But yeah, these brothers were at the show and National and they're like how do you like you get nervous to you? How do you go out there? And I was like I literally I can't think about it If I take once it before the show if I'm in the green room at all and I'm like Fuck there's 20,000 people and I'm just gonna have to stand there and the entire night depends on if I do good Or I just waste all these people's time and money. It's the most people ever than anybody's done this and I'm just gonna stand there by myself

I mean you've literally affect it traffic patterns in the city. Yeah, like the city has been altered the whole

There's so much around in the city like the local bars

It's really is gonna be yeah, that's gonna be wild when I open for you I don't it's cuz I whenever if I'm doing something for someone else typically it's just like there's not even room No, it's fine. Yeah, cuz I'm like this great. I can't fuck this up, but it's for myself. I'm like now no dude is sucks Yeah, that's uh that's gonna be fun. Thankfully the roast is there to break up the Yeah, I can text true. So I'll be focused on freaking out about that. We panicking about that. Yeah, that's that's a nice reprieve

But now look the links gonna be sick that will be tight the link is gonna be a bit every single person and fill it They don't be like go to it like I wasn't fill it last to every single person like I'll see you in July I did it. It's gonna be like The football stadium maybe you're doing. Yeah. What is the capacity? It would be like a hundred No, it'll be close to 80

It would be the all-time record at the stadium Cuz it's the round as well. Yeah, obviously yeah for any event Hopefully It's gonna crush it like it's gonna suck. It's like a good way to ruin every day and the lead up to the geek. Yeah, every day Otherwise 17th I'll be

I'll be staring at those runs True. Now that's nice Those guys do your god make me burn to be flat That wish I could be what it's fucking rins. You know what I was thinking about today I saw I guess it's a crow. What are those birds of the airport that just fucking scream at you? Oh, those are like awesome

Crackles dude. I love it. They are funny. I fucking love dude. I was it was dry I'd go to like PTA meetings this morning so we're like driving on the highway It's all crackled as chilling on like we're like this homeless guy usually chills and I saw he like he became a crackle I think he did He floated down this thing like floated down

So lightly and landed on this little like metal thing on the highway or like where you get all in the off ramp and it was just like picking crumbs out of cigarette butts And I was like how crazy to be a bird is be flying like this celestial being and then you have to just land to fucking wicked earth

Then you fly again beautifully

“So as soon as I landed in Austin, I saw two of them bathing in a puddle on the road”

Disgusting

Dirt water dude moments ago. They're soaring majestically and they have things that there's nothing majestig about those first

Those things Well, they are some of the shitties I love them so much. They're funny They just scream they have no fear of people We they're just like mean pigeons. Yeah, we got a new bird in Australia called that. It's the noisy indian minor

And they're an invasive species from India I know I know Then he's allowed Indian birds that everyone goes you got to kill him But we don't have guns and we don't have it be begins. You got to find creative ways Just can't have BB guns. No, I can't have a BB gun

But this is the all the bird people used to work for a bird charity and everything's like we love birds We got to protect birds and then they'd be like the Indian bird Kill and if you find that dude, you guys want to be a lot of them. There's no food. Where's the government say you're going to shoot you right? Yeah, yeah, the government says it's going to get lucky. I want to read raw at a BB gun No art What's one of the many problems for the canter so you what's the easiest bird away? You guys kid are not allowed to have BB guns

Try on the outback. You don't live in the fucking outback. I've never seen a BB gun in Australia

Okay, wait, you've never seen it. I don't believe we're allowed to have them. You must not be because if you were allowed I feel yeah, yeah, that's actually probably a good rule. Australians should not hold that white trash DNA Yeah, BBs. That's crazy dude. Dude. There's nothing better than your older cousin be like this Check this shit out It's so scary like

“I don't even want to hold that I'm too scared. I remember someone I remember that my passion”

Are they allowed to have to have to be allowed to have toy guns? They're not this It says they're just highly regulated and treat classified as fine. I got my BB permit for BB gun. That's what it seems like. Yeah, you need a proper license and registration What or else it's a criminal offense. How are the bin chickens doing? I like those because we like those some big works taking pictures of them. We look like fucking morons. It was a Vietnamese guy who yeah, I knew we were good

Yeah, do you know this story? No. Oh, it was if there was a story on the knees while ago in in Sydney Forgot was like killing him and eating them and he got in trouble and he was like a Vietnamese guy and he was gone You were allowed to do it back home and then later on the knees start they're like I did it like home in the state north of the in Queensland you're like did everyone thought he meant Vietnam I'd be in the Measeman just killing street birds with him in Queensland anyway. I was a fun

In Queensland apparently you can eat them. Yes nice. So big what are these Indian birds do you know They just squawk and they they're invasive. They push the other birds out and they work in groups It's about 15 of them bullying our sweet native fucker. Oh damn Really funny. Yeah, it's just a big gang of the Indian Like the beautiful that gang made lonely Australian, but you know on a bus or something day. That's crazy

Yeah, it's not right. I was just listening to it make bird sounds for like two minutes. It just sounds like a regular bird Like the Indian bird. Yeah, it just sounds like a regular bird. I think this is a

How how first are you on your pro? I love bird noises. Yeah, they get rid of that big we got big beautiful strange birds

Yeah, I'm now wild, you're talking to us. We'll cook a barra cook a barra. Yeah, it's a nice time Okay, what birds pair nice rifle birds that's some it. We got the Cassowary they're very scary They kill British people every now and again. Those are scary. Yeah, what is the cook a bear do again? I know it does It's in the old gum tree. Yeah, I'm drinking of the bush. Just laughs. Just laughs. Yeah, cook a barra laugh cook a barra. Yeah, you're my speed That song we have you'll be birded out you we I mean we got a clamber up man. We got at least expect inspect site

I would love nothing more than for us to install it and I'll share the app with you You can also have the bird watching app and we can stare at them together because we're both with the notifications

“And I'll go out there at night sometimes. That's what the patriots give you another case”

Petri on is a live bird feed now. I would love it feed To feed. Yeah, bird feed. I like that. That's good Good. Maybe we can tweet the bird feed. Maybe we can tweet the bird feed, too Man Now see you guys see how much better this is than a pet a file 30 minutes

Talking birds. That's fun. I forgot all about and we managed to make the bird thing racist which I like And of course, the mayor defended the fucking invasive species You're an invasive species Yes, I think it's just like a nice regular bird. So let's see get him out Killed having to be like having to kill like a bird for your government would be kind of chill

They're like you have anything in here. I was like now

It's got my social security birth certificate. Every single thing I noticed Don't worry about Because I had to give my driver's license Somebody just steal your identity You're gonna walk you up to the fucking link some guys and they're like, hey, you guys

He's just crushing you a kid. Oh my god, that guy's good Just murdering You're like a problem Turned out all you do need is a Trump impression You aren't a weird position in getting to pick the car now. It's a huge identity moment

“I know and I don't know what Carter picked. I think you get one of those Houston”

Low ones with the big spikes coming that either side of the wheels. I can't do that Why not it's crazy. It's time. Yeah. It's time. See much attention that it'd be you got to go sleek Very sleek You know what I mean? I think it's my car. That was a nice car for you Yeah, I'm in the my my CRV still rocking so I got to like I'm gonna ride it out, but I got it

Every car I pick everyone's like it's a gays thing ever gee glad you thought gee bloody You could be a cool girl dad car. I thought I could get a cool car. It's like that's for real so good Like I know everything you tell me what they're like get up for you get a rap there It's like I'm not driving a fucking rap there. Yeah. I don't you don't pick up truck guy SUV. I've seen you drive us a breweries. You're nice in the SUV. I've been driving trucks everywhere

When I drive for any show, I rent trucks to go from city to city. That's exciting It's been kind of fun just been driving every new pickup truck to see what I like But the people I'm backing up people I'm making a minivan back in a minute 2000 Japanese Toyota Beautiful fabric nice A V6 engine and I've looked at the retro

It's nice. Well everyone's saying don't buy a new car everyone everyone who's like a hard core car guys like don't buy anything new right now Get like in something old You know, it's been made like 10 years ago and just I don't know why I don't know I wish I knew about cars My brother almost commits me to do a cyber truck. It's so easy to go. Oh, I was like yeah, I'll just do that Is there a 0% interest right now? I'd like that. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah, the land cruiser

That's nice 1997 that's cool thing about that. You're probably you're connected That's nice. You can get the waymo things on you could buy whatever car you want You guys are just good for the way by your own waymo Any time James you're on a something about that you're one of the only people in the world who might be able to get on the phone to the waymo corporations

I should have the world's first private waymo

“That would be I did I honestly love where I go everyone's welcome at the car”

Also know highway travel. I'm drinking and driving all the time Fucking lose my mind Yeah, I was going to go waymo to be my kid somewhere and it was like I was like a 20 minute drive I'm like I'll get in the waymo's like an hour and 20 minutes. I was like, all right, I'm just I'm maybe I'm not You custom fit your own waymo. You get a bid put in there. Oh, bro. You just get to lie down

I would like to lay down more. Yeah This is my idea this is what I think why am I supposed to be doing like have not stood up for a day Dude instead of flying you fly for an hour and a half you get to the new city This is my idea beautiful bed in a waymo you just go to sleep Drives you to the seat that wake up eight hours light and be paid between the plane and wemo

You could have a segue where you just kind of you get tied to it and you need a guess Sleep on You can just

“Vending paraplegia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah big guys sleep on a horse just tied a saddle I'd be a fun thing”

We should suck in the heroin people on Segways They hit them that they hit that fucking lean forward that things going 90 miles an hour We're crazy There knows this is like right over the ground

Happy nice though to be like, I put them on segways and just point them north and make Go Get yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, Austin's just those fucking shitty birds and homeless people

Those two I see I've always seen them together and that's a very very symbiotic relationship. They do they do

They do they that bird was just eating like homeless crumbs basically. I was watching it just pick at it It's like weird shit The way like the relatives like the birds are on them. Yeah clean their teeth It's why they're screaming at the airport. There's picking little particles out of their teeth Like

So we this we'd to see it again We have we don't have crack in Australia. We just have methanphetamine. It's a slightly different Yeah, homeless person for yeah, it's way more crack people are a little more they're in a fantasy land Yeah, there's a lot of more. There's it is that the mood is improved and I don't know there's a spirit of joy about it, but the med people it's just

Now a med people that skip spooky. Yeah, I find yeah, they're more like politically tapped

Or fucking evil

“I've never won by a fucking homeless guy. I mean, he's having a good time. They're literally having”

I see a sentence. It is a theater about like that woman who wears caution type instead of clothing

You know, she's having an experience. She's doing yeah, I don't know if I've seen her They're funnier. Oh, you see a nasty part of your number the street Joe guy and fill you come up They got a joke for you guys. Yes. Hey, that was that's Matt. I don't see them here Yeah, you know what yeah, homeless people here. I see the Angry. That's more of a silly thing. You're right a lot of angry almost math is pretty big here too now

though math made math kind of like piggybacked heroin cities pretty hard We're kind of like come in a lot of the heroin guys got into math as well Chets a bad one math is a worse phoenix's math city dude. Yeah phoenix is bad me and Nate so I'll fucking Me and Sean some needles on the ground walking around. I was like, I don't know I don't want my gay everything about Oklahoma, but last time I was sitting I got them

They cut the uh

When you go to fill up your towel like someone had a flat tire and you go to do that and they cut the the tip off at the gas station that you used

But it's called the needle yeah, and they said they cut the needles off the drugs and I thought they were using that We're like if I can jamming that into their arms, but they use it like a pipe. It's a perfect part so that they just don't have them You can't fill your tire up in Oklahoma should piss me off. It's not right. Yeah, that would piss me off Be a math. I would agree. Math is I think one of the if I'd have moved with Sidney I got to pick the drug everyone's on here a math is heroin's pretty chill a pick heroin

Yeah, sleep late down heroin's meth would be the worst you think yeah, I think so because they get like real You know It's a very like I got to do this thing now. Yes kind of drug There's the head moves differently. We got a lot with still Australia only got really

heroin's gone away and methods, but it's that the head moves like this People get skinny and yeah sweating and the I'll be I'll come up with transport and I'm seeing it It's um our buses are not as spooky as yours, but they're still

“That's why it's weird when you get one. No, I'm done. No comment can you do what you did in the smile”

Can you can you do a takeouts now as Australia still anti take it like take it away food from the restaurant kind of thing Yeah food poisoning we sometimes we're disagreeable about it Remember trying to take the food you try to take our food you like you guys can't have that I'm like what I've convinced neither of you to come back for sure It's the flight I like that's really at the flight. I it's just brutal bro. I don't know how you didn't be

Off the back of course, huh? Well ten lovely hours. I had a great time. I watched succession for the first time. That's nice. It's pretty good. Yeah

I'll never watch I watch the

I watch season four and then we watched any other season. Oh no It's so good man. I can tell you got a beautiful. I got the picture. Yeah, we're gonna do it It's time for us to take the company. They all suck. They're all weak. They're everything is It's over you guys. You're not serious people. I thought I said that before. I've said that today I like when uh I don't know what season it is when the old man goes to the like liberal new station

He goes thank you for welcoming welcoming us Romans into your greet in amongst your Greek city It was just a funny weird rich guy thing to say Remember I have no idea we're talking about my damage sounds so cool. Yeah, it's all shit. Now that I've studied Rome I know it's talking about Speaking dude. I um you think it's time for the patreon

We're gonna do it this week. We already did we did the page this week next week. We're gonna have a Dude, I have 19 pages of notes typed about the fall of Rome. Just like the beginning of Julius Caesar crossing the rubicon

“Why he did it? What's the foundational miss of Rome with shaped the Roman citizens identity?”

I wish I could be here for that. It's my dear. Yeah, you were fucking you minor. I didn't know you had a Mine's my great, but also at some point I want to put pressure I'm happy to do it publicly that the civil war podcast is all right. I'll do it. Just do it Do you want to do it now? You want to do it? Give me a minute. I had I'm thinking about a little Sherman and Grant Podcasts episode. Okay. Discuss Sherman and Grant see what they were. You don't want to start with the cool

You could rattle off the top of your head causes of the war of northern aggression Oh brother. Oh brother. You've got an hour in you for that. Maybe Blacks it was a doll in industrialization. The forest of industrialization. I'm all right with that. Yeah, we can I'll do that. It's nice. Be nice, you're still. We used to start researching stuff. Yeah It's time Sherman and Grant are the bros stuff because Nate some of you learned about Sherman and Grant

Both of South these are northern guys. Okay. You listen to that screen. Okay. I'm all of you him to come such Sherman. I'm in Anyway That should be it, huh? Yeah, like we did great job. Yeah, we tease we tease some future is a bit of a CTA CTA mix in there nice What's what is all about? Good to see you, James. Thank you for having me. Thank you, man. Stoke that I had to go away

We'll be together in Canada. Wait, what do you guys do? The same place Toronto will be in Toronto. The agent has for some reason put us both in Canada

“I'm kind of the same night. Kind of wild but it means we'll get to hang out. Sure”

But everything's good. We're both all our shows are both that capacity

So it's fine. We're gonna go. Good to go. That's uh still is kind of weird. Yeah, it's very strange. I

I'll see it every now and again. He's getting linked with soda somewhere. Where I'm kind of like why are we the same place. I don't like that. Do you bring it to

“Toronto? CJ. So I was gonna bring. Sorry, AJ. Sorry, my bad. I'm getting my boys mixed up. AJ, I'll bring AJ.”

Okay. Going alphabetical. Yeah, AJ. He rejects. I'll be supporting the agent. They're a big sponsor of the Adelaide Gross who, by the way, season's turning around. It's gonna be all right. Cribals are big taxes He had six kids five, they had five goals and it was fantastic. I couldn't really if we make it to the final. You caught it. Wow, wow, Wes. Whoa, whoa now. Cut that. Cut that. And then James McCanson. Cut that. I said how that. I said how the crow's down. I need that on the cut.

Didn't we have a nice house a moment? Yeah, I mentioned the football. That was a good place in the

butt. I do believe probably over time. Goodbye, Cribals. You're right. Yeah, you'd never want to

do that. Trust me. All right. Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.

“When it's time to start, and if you want to do it, you can do it as much as you want.”

If you want, you can do it as much as you want. You can do it as much as you want. And if you want, you can do it as much as you want, you can do it as much as you want. And if you want, you can do it as much as you want.