- Wow, wow, Wes.
- Some bullshit.
- You know what that kid's an odd duck?
- Well, there he's an odd duck. - He's a real odd duck, dude. - You brought down his whole mainframe. - I did, I came home and I'm plugged up. - Yeah.
- I got a roommate, his name's Lamar. - You see the thing is, he's an odd duck. - I mean, he's gotta be constantly at least, I swear to God, probably 55 bucks a month and paused games.
- He paused games alone. He paused, he has an entire setup back there. Pause his games and just goes on the road for like a week. I came back at the room's hot. - It's mainframe, dude, this is a server.
- You can say, you can save wherever you are. - Of course, I literally, the first thing I do when I got home was I just went back and ripped all the plugs out of the, I was like, dude, enough of this. - That's crazy.
- That's all I should in the pool when he gets home. - It's kind of, yeah, it's pretty wild stuff. His electrical setup was, that was a lot of plugs you showed. He's got Mopad now, that was just sitting next to the house. - Well, yeah, it's got a broken Mopad here.
I got his shitty vest, but I'm just sitting out and he's like, I'm gonna fix that. - This is like meth.
- You are, you're absolutely never gonna fix that.
- No, this is meth behavior, dude. - It is. - This is a lot of tinkering. - Yeah, but he doesn't exhibit meth. - He's not on the mat, he's certainly not on the mat.
- He's not on the mat, he's not on the mat. - He's not on the mat, he's not on the mat. - He's just doesn't do any meth shit. (laughing) - If he was on Matthew, it would've disassembled the Mopad.
- Yeah, true. - He constantly plugged in computers. - Probably be a tad thinner, too. - True. (laughing)
That's a rapid weight loss. - Yeah, and it's just sleeping would not be. - It sleeps more than he's awake for sure. - It sleeps more than he's awake for sure. - It sleeps more than he's awake for sure.
- It's all for sure. He's laying there like this one eye opened his. - True, he's faking it. - Wait, and he get back to his plugs and his Mopad. - It sleeps for 15 hours.
(laughing) Fold them again. (laughing) - Yeah, Joe Dorosa. - It's up to you.
(singing in foreign language)
- Yeah. - Joe Dorosa. - I was just thinking the other one. - Yeah, you have been, you haven't sung that in a while, too. - I sang it at the beach.
- You did not? - I did. - I remember saying it, yes. - All right, 'cause that was like your song for me. - I love it.
- And I love it, too. And I hadn't heard it in a while. If you sang it at the beach, I was very drunk. - I sang it at the beach. - We were in the kitchen, it was in the morning.
“- Remember, I was staring at shelters when I sang it.”
- Okay, I vividly remember it. - All right, I love it. - I love it, no one really cares about me. Singin' this right now, and it's probably annoyed. (laughing)
- Joe Dorosa's on? - Yeah, that's weird. - Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. - Yeah, that was the drive back, is that? - I mean, it's one of the all time bonehead choice.
- Cake, it was cake, it was cake. - It was cake. - It was cake, dude. - It was cake, dude. - But here by me, it was the right track.
- Yeah, what do you mean? - Launched right out of the gate with a KFC. Chicken little, three chicken tenders, and a drumstick. - Hidden KFC right away.
- Fries, yeah, about an hour and a half. - 10, ready to settle in for 10 hours. - Okay, so that's midday, extra large RB sandwich, bag of cool ranch turkey, you eat constant. (laughing)
- Right, late night, full of takin' at home. Wopper with cheese, bacon double cheeseburger fries. - Dude, I was having the time in my life, oh, and then a king size bag of skittles, somewhere in between all that.
I had the time in my life driving home, dude. I was just grubbing.
“- What was the bowel movement like after three fast foods?”
- Completely normal. - No, stop. - You bought it. - Put it on. - Tasty.
- The test job is for your pinks, care of all things. (laughing) - Taking test, eating all of these. You wanted a king of the road. - That's awesome.
- That's actually pretty impressive. - I like, I mean, the way you deflected the decision making on the drive was impressive. - Well, it was really impressive. - As we discussed, I made a massive mistake.
- Yes, there are direct flights from Austin to the beach. - Yeah, and I did not know that 'cause I got travel information from Brian Six. - Okay, you called the bees. - Bezier.
(laughing) - And I know how that call it. - You're fucked, dude, there's no fucked everyday. - It's exactly what, you fucking idiot. You can get your phone and be like, are there flights from,
I mean, it'll be like, yes, there are. - Well, if you took all bees real quick. - No, no, no, no, that's not. - I'm being Google and go to bees. - Chad, he's bees.
(laughing) - He's my search engine. - Yeah. - Bezier? - It's just as bees are sitting.
- Yeah. - As bees. - As bees. - Yeah. - How do you spell this word?
Like this, you fucking retard. (laughing) - What do you wanna know? - Yeah, I don't know. - Yeah.
“- The only thing he told me was the air,”
'cause I didn't know where the town was and this is the airport you gotta fly to. So I did go to the internet, but then it was like, no, there's just, there's indirect. There's connecting flights.
- Yeah. - And then I found out after the fact, there was another word before again, but the connecting flight argument bothers me as well.
- Now I hate a connecting flight, it's brutal.
I just did connecting flight last week
'cause I had to go to Lafayette and then to Charleston. - Why don't you drive to Lafayette? - Because I had to get quicker than, because I had to fly to Charleston and then I had to fly to New York.
So to rent a car, it says, - There you go. - Yeah, but the connecting flight in Dallas, we're Houston is, okay, yeah, it's crazy. To drive?
- How long was the drive? - And don't lie, 12 hours. - 12 hours, 12 hours. - Like a jeep. - It's so stupid, it's so stupid.
- Yes, it's a two hour flight. - I do it, I rode the shit, I don't think it's an hour and 40 minute flight direct. - I need no, we gotta think that the record was on the table. - We're at the beach
and he's like, "Fuckin' six fucked me on there." - So I'm so pissed at him, I was like, "What are you talking about? It's all you, this is all you."
“- No, I didn't, I won't get into the DMR, you know?”
(laughing)
- I will not, I would love to get into the DMR.
- I promise, I promise, I'm glad you brought that up. I promise you I'll tap out a few promise the same. I'm very curious on a new party's opinion. - If they really-- - You're not gonna believe how every single person agrees.
- If they agree with you, I will tap out, I will not argue. - I'm saying 99% agree. - But if they agree with me, will you tap out? - Can we be in the comments?
- I promise. - Okay, absolutely. - Here's, here's, we just lay out like this. - I was saying, if you respond to a girl's story on Instagram, that goes to her as a DM,
and what I was saying was, yes, it's a DM, but it's not the same thing as DMing her. - So in other words, Nate. - Hold on, hold on, I'd like you to start that up. It's over and repeat exactly what you said for the record.
Yes, it's a DM, so you're DMing her, but it's not DMing her. - No, no, but it's a similar order we're living in. - Oh my, what? - What order we're living in?
- No, no, no, you're giving an example when I mean the differences. It's still a DM, but Nate, Nate or Sean, you got girls.
“If your girl posts something funny, right?”
And I go, ha ha, that's really funny. Turn the story, and then that sends it to her as a DM. - Now your friends with her already. - Versus, if I just sent your girl a DM, let's just go with the real scenario.
Not these, it was a girl, that was a... - No, this is somebody you know. - If I respond to Sean's girlfriend's story, obviously I'm not sliding into her DMs flirting with her. - Right.
It was a girl, it was definitely interesting. - Also, this is gotta turn to me on you guys, talking about DM in there. (laughing) - But my question is, is there a difference
between sliding into a girl's DMs versus responding to her story that she receives as a DM? I said, yes, there's a bit of a difference there. - Okay. - Also knowing the person, I think,
it's the big difference between that. - I didn't know the person. - Well, I knew her, I knew her because she felt each.
- Okay, well, who followed her first?
I followed her first. - Thank you. - Now, she followed me right back. - Let's go with... - Follow me right back. - Let's go with, yeah.
And then you said, "New DMs, which is appropriate." I don't think that's, it's wild. - You did start, okay, we can do that too, if you want. - I love to discuss that as well. (laughing) - You be nice. - You be nice.
- There's a matter that's the old, the black and the black and the black. - All right, all right. - All right, all right. - So this is how it starts. He tells me somebody he likes on Instagram. I say, you should talk to her.
Said, "A, we're talking a little." I said, "You followed her first." He said, "Yeah." And I said, "You slid into a DM." And then I didn't slide into a DM's dude.
I replied to a story, it tells you. It says, "What do you think about this story?" She was asking. (laughing) - I didn't say she was asking, but I did say,
but I did say you were responding to the story as a little... - Responding to a story as sliding into a DM. - And I disagree with that. I think sliding to the DM's.
“I think setting a DM like, "Hey, what's going on?"”
It's very different from a DM from replying to a story. - Is there a plan? - This is funny. I don't know. It was something lit.
- It was something lit. - You have a picture of his penis. - No, you're not. (laughing) - It tells us in this room.
- No, it's not. - No, let's do it at home. (laughing) (laughing) - What was he told me not to bring my fucking phone out?
- Well, it was the post, really like a poll. Like, "Hey guys, what do you think about this?" - No, it was like a funny story. I was like, "What do you guys think of this?" And I was like, "Ah, that's funny, wherever."
- Right. - It was like, "What was your heart?" - It was your intentions. - I don't know what, I actually do remember what I said. I actually do it to remember what I said.
- Yeah. - I wrote, "This is all you know." - You know what is intentional. (laughing) - I wrote, "This is awesome."
- Yeah. - "We don't want to talk up a conversation." (laughing) - It's awesome. - It's awesome.
- I wrote, "This is righteous." - Yeah. (laughing) - Joe, pretending you're not sliding into the D.M. It is crazy.
Although, how are you acting like you're not? (laughing) - Do you guys agree there's a difference between a story D.M and a direct, just out of the blue D.M?
- Okay, that's the only thing.
- Now, that's his question.
“My question is, "Regardless is it sliding into the D.M.'s?"”
- There is a difference and it is sliding into the D.M.'s. - It's not as-- - Of course. - We both, we both.
- Yeah, but all, I never said there was a difference.
I said it was sliding into the D.M.'s. - And it is what it is. - And I never said it wasn't a D.M. I just said there was a D.M.'s that it was sliding into the D.M.'s. - Let's bump Mike, should we go?
- No, no, no. - Come on, this is the proud D.M.s. you're gonna-- you're gonna-- you're gonna-- you're gonna-- you're gonna-- you're gonna-- you're gonna-- you're gonna take a win here because this is the credit. You're gonna try to take a win. I'm trying to say we try to put it in a little bit right. You'd be settled with the draw right now. I would not say there's a done conditional surrender. - Thank you, thank you, thank you. - I need a unconditional surrender. - That's true, Lee.
- Has anything come about the message? - He heard D.M. D.M. D.M. - Has the message? - Has the message yielded any more fruit, have you guys? Is that-- - No, it was-- it was a while ago, and it was not-- it was not a recent thing. It was a while ago. But we were talking about it, and I said to him, we were just talking about it.
- Right, right, yeah. - And I was like, uh, and then X, Y, and Z. - Well, it was simple. - I said I would never do that. - Yes.
- I said I would never slide into-- - Yeah, D.M.s. - Yeah, D.M.s. - I didn't slide into a D.M.s. - Yes, you did.
- Now-- - Now, in my defense, end of discussion. You know, Matt, you know, as well as I do, he's coming in with the argument. - He's coming in to push, but-- - Yeah, we're sitting there. - He starts with--
- He starts with-- - I would never do that. - I would never do that. - Well, that's a funny thing to say. - Immediately, it's a--
- What did I do?
“- I mean, I just responded to her story.”
- All right. - And it-- - And it is-- - And it is. - Hello.
- It was one of those things that was like-- - It was so-- - Like, such a frivolous conversation. - Yeah, we're talking-- - We're talking--
- We're talking ancient history, anyway. - Yeah. - It's water on the bridge. - It got so fluid. - You got so--
- So defensive, so fast. - You couldn't-- - I love that. - And that's like, while we're hanging out at the beach, I like it good argument. - I know you do.
- It's funny. - I know you do. And I'm literally there like, I just want to relax. And you're like, no, let's argue. That's how you relax.
- Yeah, but-- - It's not how I relax. - Yeah. - And somebody says, "I'm silly." Like that.
I'm not gonna let it go. - And Pope's little rat ass dude. Pope is a fucking rat. - What do you do? Pope, the whole time--
- The whole time she ain't sitting there, he's going, he's going. Drossie, you don't have to fucking shut the fuck up. You're wrong, right? - Right? - Soon as you walked away, he's like,
"Dude, you know Shane does this." And you know-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Immediately, dude. - Immediately.
- Immediately. - That fucking rat. - Especially-- - Especially he did it a few days later. - What do you mean?
- He started, he got a little beach argument going. - Oh, whoa, that wasn't there. I wish I was-- I raced down to the beach when I was-- - That was the day I wasn't there. - As soon as I found out about the beach argument.
- What was-- what was the-- - What was the-- - He was sunsured on, not ran there. - What was Pope's beach argument? - That you shouldn't give college football players
college degrees because they're useless. (laughing) - Dude, he was like, "I only care about real football." - Pro football. (laughing)
- Just a base ankle's fully buried in the sand. (laughing) Dude, these fucking things-- - That's great. - Can we talk about those fucking things that Tommy drank
at the beach? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, the stream.
“- It was the worst thing I've literally ever tasted in my life”
and he said that they were delicious. - It was great. And drank, not one, but four of them. (laughing) - Yeah.
- We're like 80 minutes. - Yeah, we're lost. (laughing) - Those things were rough. - Yeah, Pope put on a clinic.
(laughing)
- We're a clinic, our first night.
(laughing) - How could we discuss night we can't-- - No, I-- - He asked us not to, but-- - All right.
- All right. He was like, "Man, fucking wrecking Celsius." (laughing) - Oh, we're sitting out by the three of us. He's both in the outside.
Cheers. Look at the fucking full moon. Beautiful, so beautiful. - Beautiful, so serene. It was quiet through the ocean.
He's down the ocean. - He's down the ocean. - Oh, sit there and go on. I'll tell you it goes. Hi, Nunes.
Okay. Neutrals-- - He put truly-- - No, he put-- - He put--
- He put truly-- - He put-- - He put truly-- - He wasn't in his right mind. - No one's asking him for a ranking.
- He's doing his rank by himself. - Unproven. - He's looking at the heavenly bodies. - Yeah. - He's going, "What are the rankings of the series?"
- God damn, I knew he was so good. (laughing) - He was truly-- - Starfleet. - I knew--
- And I got-- - Wait, true-- - 'Cause I thought I was like, "I must be misremembering what truly is." - He was doing a countdown, maybe. - Yeah, no, no.
- He was saying they weren't there. - He was in truth. - He might be like a Copernican revolution. - It was. - It could have been the Copernican revolution.
- He burned down. (laughing)
- He said, "Days the stars," and he said, "Hold on a second.
I have an idea.
- They truly are the best cells.
(laughing) - Stand at the sink.
“You just stand at the sink in the house.”
He's 'cause that crashed. (laughing) - I know that was the best. - Yeah. - I do a shout with him.
- We're the kitchen. - We're the kitchen. - We're really kitchen. I go, "Tommy, let's do a shot." - He goes, "Yeah, yeah."
- Aggressive for no reason. - Yeah, we're going to do a fucking shot. Yeah, I'm like, "All right." (laughing) - It was my idea.
(laughing) - He's his peer breaching you now. (laughing) - Dude, I pour a shot. He pours one.
It's dude. It is like, "It is a goal." (laughing) - I go, "Brought some masks with shot." - You go, "Yeah, yeah."
- Yeah, whatever, man. 'Cause I'm a fucking man. (laughing) We see him, he takes it. (laughing)
He takes it.
I fucking truly are whatever it is.
(laughing) - Pours it in the glass, dumps vodka on top of me. (laughing) - He goes, "All these shit. Did he put in vodka?"
(laughing) - Was it going with splitter? - Yeah, he goes, "Yeah, it's a cutter." (laughing) - Yeah, he goes like this.
So I swear to God, he takes the shot. He fucking bangs it. Takes the sip of the thing. And he goes, "Ah, Jesus Christ.
“Grabes a third drink of surfside for air."”
(laughing) And then he starts, "Yeah, we're like-- - Get four." - You're doing four different drinks in, I don't even think he took a breath.
(laughing) Yeah, Jesus Christ. (laughing) - How's this changed? - Dude, we got a bed.
We're all just like, fuck, I'm hammered. I gotta go to bed. Going to my room, he comes running out of his room. Like, what do you do when he goes? I'm gonna go get a piece of pizza and have some vodka.
(laughing) (laughing) - These, these are, well, I'm just hammering the watch. They're both watching an intervention.
- I know. - Look at these losers. (laughing) - I do like watching them at the end of the day, just both chill.
- Yeah. - Just watch like A&E for a little bit. Dude, by the last day there, I went on an adventure with Beezer dude. We had the, oh yeah.
- We had the best fucking time man. - Beezer dude. - Beezer dude. - The landlovers for sure. - So if they made your landlovers.
- These are trying to change an narrative. - He did. - He was like Poseidon out there dude. He went out, he went out so fucking far out of here. (laughing)
- I was like dude, is it true?
“- Yeah, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?”
(laughing) - Fuckers will see me swim there. - Also, too, like we would say it all the time, and then out of it, he went geeking in on and out. And all of a sudden I turned,
I was like, that fucking Beezer. - He just, he went out like a hundred yards out of the ocean was just splashing around. - You guys went down the day, he got there. - And I was like, I'm just gonna hang back.
I'll meet up with Beezer. We'll come down. I was waiting for him. I had a couple of fucking surf sides. Whatever the fuck they're called,
while I was waiting for him. He showed up. He starts cracking up. We start banging shots. He's like, "Beezer's fucking gay dude.
What's going on?" - He's like, "All right. We went to his bar to his bar." - He's still funny to fly to the Beezer all day. He's like, "Fuck Beezer's gay as hell."
(laughing) - We're in this bar just fucking, we start swaning. I'm like, dude, I can't tell this. Fuck, never mind.
I can't tell this story. That's fine. I don't think. - Or can I? - It's probably about you guys doing drugs or something.
- Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah. You guys can talk about that. - I've got that.
- He's right. - There's a legal prescription, dude. - Yeah. You guys are perhaps-- - So we popped a five millimetre before we left the house.
We get to this bar. We're like, fucked up in this bar. Beezer gets two orders of-- (laughing) What's that shrimp called,
like, "Bing, ping, ping pile shrimp." (laughing) - Bang bang? - Huh? - Was it bang bang shrimp?
- Yeah, bang bang shrimp. He's two orders of it.
He counts as the first one that they bring another one.
He's like, "That's just good, dude." (laughing) He's a whole other order of it. I'm like, "Brow, I'm flying on Addy's right now. I don't know how you're eating."
Right? I go in the bathroom. He's like, "Let's go this other bar." I go in the bathroom. It's going to be a 25-minute drive to this other bar.
I go in the bathroom. I'm swaying again. I take another five millimetre to try to wake up. I walk out of the bathroom. I go, "Beezer, I take another five."
He goes, "Brow, I just gave you a ten." I go, "No, you didn't." He goes, "Yes, you did. You just took it." And I was like, "Oh, shit."
Well, we're going to be in front of him. There's probably no shrimp. You guys are probably as much an admirer as you. (laughing) He's just good.
(laughing) That's the next bar. He looks like you forgot. He took the shop, and I forgot. Just shopping it up with a 62-year-old lady.
I told you it's a bar. We called you when we got back from the beach. You were still at the bar, you're like, "I'm coming back, man." That was like, "Oh, my God, the rest of you fucking dirt bag. Don't come back."
(laughing) That was a tough one. You can't die. (laughing) Wait, that one will keep to my say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a little messy. (laughing) Say, "I entered his room on an house."
Oh, yeah.
(laughing) I don't give a fuck. I was just high-tech.
I went up to the room to whack one out.
(laughing)
“You're in your room for fucking three hours.”
You're in your room for two hours. You're in your room for two hours. You're in your room for two hours. You're in your room for two hours. You're in your room for two hours.
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I'm just coming back. You're in your room. You're in your room for three hours. I was in the privacy of my own room. You're in your room for three hours.
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What are we talking about? I'm a redeemed man saying, that's who I was. Yeah. And now I fight the crime. Look how far I found it.
But you slid into the girl's DMs. The lying door story is sliding into the DMs. They get aggressive with that though. First DM encounter. That's literally textbook sliding.
You take it easy now. I'm too. Wait, speak at it. Speaking of arguments. Let me hear it.
I want to, I was not present for this. But I would love to reopen this camera world. Let's open it up. Talk to you too. It's offended you too.
Okay. He was the real argument. It was November rain versus enters. Amen. That was really arguing.
Guns and roses were better than Metallica. And I got so high on my horse. I was like, dude, you too. Better than Metallica. I think it might have started you too.
Metallica. But you were not involved in that. I don't know.
“And you got involved in, I think I started really too.”
Yeah. I remember it being kind of like a, I went on a very confident branch. Yeah. You too is better than Metallica. But it was weird when you were explaining to me the argument.
You, you started like your team of Metallica because you go do. They said that the edge was better than Kirk Hammett. And I was like, there's no fucking, that was Billy. You're going to be mistaken. Oh, Billy was saying that.
Billy was Metallica. Oh, okay. Billy and I, I threw the, I didn't know much about the. I don't know much about YouTube, but I threw edge out there. I'm like, he's probably nasty guitar.
I pulled up a terrible compilation of his greatest solos. I was like, God. It sucked. It's terrible. It's terrible.
You too, it's got some great song. I mean, that you too. That's the argument. But against Metallica. How did Metallica's that good?
I'm going to talk over G and R. I love you. You're wearing all black. You're biased. You're in the Lord of metal.
True. But I know where's all black. It's all yours. It's all yours. I just wearing a black ski hat like July.
Yeah, it's your job. The, I'll put Metallica over over G and R. You missed a good argument. That one got he was fun. That was, that was, that was, I was, I was.
I was not going to that and then heard everyone screaming downstairs. It was, it was also a counter get. O'Connor was great. He was, he was hot by himself. He started the print argument.
It just alone. No one was even talking to you. He would just be like, wezer. Better than prints.
“It would be like, who the fuck did talking to that?”
That argue in turn, O'Connor homeless for like two hours. He was just like, the fuck you, you've sort of named his random bands for the 90s. Because he looked up, he was like, there's 2,000 bands better than prints. Then he just looked up bands from the 2000s. Thinking he had a list of 2,000 better bands.
He just looked at the top bands of the 2000s. I don't know what you're competing in. Just went through a name of it. Conor is batshit. He's batshit.
I made fun of him about this on stuff island. This is a real argument he made to us. We were in Westchester. Hmm. Uh, we're, I forgot the barret, but anyway.
Who's me? Shane? Jameyland's Seagler? Oh, this is a great one. This is a great one.
This is a great one. Conor is fucking trash. This is the night O'Connor ordered McDonald's twice in a row because he forgot. And had the same order on his fucking steps. We were at Squareboy.
Yeah. It's where he lives across the street. Yeah. And uh. O'Connor goes.
He even gave McDonald's. Off his step. A flat out O'Connor goes. Name any fucking movie I can defend it. No reason.
No reason.
Right? I go any movie. He goes, yeah. I go, young Einstein.
He goes, that ain't a fucking movie.
It's a great defense. I go, yes it is. He goes, it's not a fucking real movie. Dude, I start pulling it up. I'll be showing it to him where everybody's going.
Yeah, that's fucking horse shit. And then just walks out. He had a good one that night. I forget exactly what it was. He was trying to name a song.
“I think and he was like, you know the song.”
Boom. Boom. Clent. No, no, no, no, no.
He was like, you guys know that right?
We're like, yeah, of course. He's like walker. I was thinking of a different song. We will rock you. I remember I started that argument kind of fan in the flames.
Like laughing. And then I instantly just got pulled into it. Yeah, I see I know.
“I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?”
Dude, we were, we were drunk in midsies one night.
And we started talking about Star Wars.
Mm. And he's like, it all sucks. Except Andor. And I was like, I know you love Andor. It's fine, man.
Whatever. And. And then we started talking about the prequels. And he goes, they were dog shit. He goes, they were dog shit.
I go, revenge of the Sith. Rips dude. He goes, it's fucking sucks. He goes, I go, it's better than return of the Jedi. He goes, return of the Jedi as a fucking masterpiece.
Right? I go, the Ewok's blow. He goes, the Ewok's fucking rule dude. Right? It's my favorite Ocarolite of all time.
I go. They don't rule, and it was supposed to be a plan of wookiees, and that would have been so much fucking cooler, just the wookiees. Yeah, fight the fucking empire, and that's why they did it in revenge of the Sith, and he just goes, the wookiees are a fucking embarrassment. Definitely dead serious. Dead serious. Dead serious. It's so serious. He would literally be like despondent. He'd be like the wookiees are a fucking embarrassment. Yeah. Yeah, I get really upset. Then I'm not paying attention. What are you upset about? Dude, he's like fucking wookiees.
“You need to fucking chill, whatever's going on. Holy shit, dude. It's so fucking bad. Yeah, you love a good argument.”
Love it. Love it. Love it. You just don't like being the one who's screaming about wookiees. I love a good argument, but I do get, I do get damn it. I'm crying from that. Holy shit. Okay, it's so funny. I'm as much of a lunatic as your counter, but but in a slightly different emotional way. You got you were quick to get defensive. Where was you me and Tommy? I get the very defensive and you're like, I know what you're doing. You're all going to gang up on me. You're going to do this. Well, because Blizzard been in the thread all day being like fuck you, you piece of shit. I really thought someone else had his phone. I was like, there's no way. Yeah, it's uncharacteristic. I mean, it's bliss coming at me.
I was in the group decks, which was like fuck the rest of fucking pieces of Joe dies. It was brutal. Yeah, Joe was on the beach. I know he's joking around, but like, that's like weird dude. I mean, like talked to him tomorrow. It was kind of weird. I mean, it was funny. And then B started coming there at me and then you were going at me. I was coming there. The second time he was like, yeah, Joe changed right. I was like, this fuck everybody right now. And that was, you're saying that was just the group chat before we even go in there. The night before it started with bees called me birth. And that fucking just rubbed me the right fucking bird.
There's a tropical storm. But if you get mad at getting called birth, you're getting called birth. You're getting called birth. No, no, I know, I know, it wasn't, I wasn't mad at him calling me birth. I was mad that I made a joke that I was trying to be funny with the group where I said, I said, I just drove, I go, I woke up at four am. I started driving at six at seven pm. I just got to the house and Shane and top here asleep. This is super fun. It was just a joke. I was like, God, damn it. And then bees goes, I just walk past the homeless guy, spray shit against the wall. Why don't you fucking calm down, birth.
And I was like, what the fuck. Trying to like, be funny. They get just funny that I got here and they're asleep. Like, it wasn't that made me chuckle. I saw that. I'm like, that's really funny to drive there. Yeah, could you use the hot, could you use some sport in the red road? Yeah, I'm out there spinning. And then blizz starts to be like, you piece of shit up, you fucking die.
What the fuck is going on?
I'm very odd that blizz was fired up. He's usually blizzing. I was like, privately as a joke. We, like, we fucked, you know, we said these texts back and forth.
But he started going hard in the thread. I was like, and then what's blizz? I mean, he's, I love blizz. Oh, I got like, he's kind of like, weird. He's, yeah. Did he ever show up? No.
“He never came. No, I think he thought it was the next week. He might be there.”
I didn't, he wasn't at, uh, in Charleston either. No. He was in New York. I haven't seen him in a minute. He's usually at all this stuff. Yeah. Anyway. Um, yeah. We, I, which, yeah, what you got, Sean? Uh, we got the Naktis on Tuesday, uh, first and third Tuesday of every month, and I'll be in Raleigh and Charleston at the end of August, and then I'll be in Seattle, in Portland, September 10th, and then Portland, September 10th. You know, I like you to be in front of the camera. No, yeah, sure. You know that.
I know. And you wanted to see the product. You want to be asked on camera. You're super. Well, I didn't want to be rude. I, you know. They don't want to be rude and in true. You want to be invited. That's fine. All right. Appreciate you guys. I'll be in Raleigh, Charleston, Seattle, in Portland. Please join me, Sean Gerdini.com.
I'd really like to see you there. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Yeah. Guys, also August 13th and 14th. This very weekend. I'll be in Spokane, comment. Or Spokane, Comedy Club. Spokane, Washington, Portland, and Boston, and then we're a lot of Mexican Milwaukee. Please go to mapmocuster.com. Thank you. I have no shows. What's going on with you, man? What are you up to? Yeah.
The special came out Netflix rocking and never promised your rose garden.
Last time I was here was the plug when it came out on YouTube. Yeah. And then a year later Netflix picked it up. So it's, it's out now. Yeah, I'm always notified how these companies work. I remember some company was like, we want to reput your YouTube special on our YouTube page for free. And I was like, OK, absolutely not. Well, they, we always like go ahead. I guess you want to do it. I don't, you know, then people would watch him.
Why the fuck is this on this channel now? I don't know either. I don't know. That's a business thing. I don't understand how business works now. Dude, it's wild. Like, I, I work with these guys that help me with my YouTube and they're, they're really, they're called wild line. They're really great. But one of the services they'll provide if you want them to is they'll go out and find all of your clips. Hey, homing bird. Like, yeah, homing bird. This. Oh, I did that.
That's, I missed. I missed. Homing bird's better than you. If fucking YouTube channel. Holly birds are fucking sick. I'm a bird's bird. Yeah. Yeah. But they'll go out and find clips of like a view or, or you, you know, from your pot or whatever that other people just post
and they'll redirect the monetization back to you. Because there's clips out there. Like, people just post clips of your pot and they have millions of views on their channel.
Which, in the amount of never been to good advertising that.
It's hard. It's, it's channels. It's, there's a lot to, that was a decision 10 years ago. Like, fuck that. Yeah, fuck the system.
We'll never monetize this channel. I mean, it probably does. I was, I was incorrect. I said to you, I think if you don't monetize it, won't show ads. Yeah, that's why I said no.
So on my special, they were like, you want to monetize it. I was like, you mean, there's going to be ads in the middle of the fucking special now. Yeah. So that's cool though. YouTube doesn't show ads if it's not monetized. I don't monetize it because my cousin Jeff executive produced it and he funded it.
Yeah. I'm like, I want to make Jeff his money, but you know, so.
“But, but yeah, but anyway, that's, that's what's going on.”
You ever get into the science of like thumbnail engineering where they'll do it. There's guys who do a thing where they're like, they'll, they'll put a thumbnail out and then they'll gay. They'll put like three different ones and test them. So judging all the time, whatever one gets the most, they like swap that out after effects. That fact does that.
Is that really? Yeah, like pretty wild. This shows the like cycle of thumbnails. Yeah. See how you click somewhat.
Yeah. They are the, my YouTube guys do that with my podcast. They have three thumbnails and three titles. And they, A, B, them. Yeah.
There's so much. It's kind of annoying with, with all this shit because it's like. It's, it's hard enough that we all have to like now do this other stuff that we, that didn't even fucking exist when we started doing comedy. Let alone like we had a idea of it. You know what I mean?
So it's like, like, we're all doing it now. We're all playing ball, but now there's like all of these sub-elimites.
“I think these other people are just making shit up so that they have jobs.”
It could be your thumbnail. I got your next year of 400 views. That'll be five grand. I mean, have you ever looked at YouTube studio?
It's like the analytics or it's crazy.
Do you, yeah, you have to learn.
“It's like, it's like, whoa, it's like never seen it.”
War room reports. Do you know what? You don't even want to look at that stuff, dude. You, you look at YouTube analytics and they're like average watch time. People will stop after one minute.
Like, yeah, great. That's nice. You're like thousands of people looked at how long they're watching. Two minutes on average. It's like it's a fucking 45 minute thing.
That's great. Yeah. It's good to know. Yeah. Yeah, I try to have some familiarity with it because I'm just trying to look at it.
Like the way you look at television or something. You're like, well, this works in a certain way and whatever. So I want to have some understanding of it. And I also want to understand why when money comes in, I understand why that money is coming in.
Versus just, but you don't understand anything. You're a business man. You're a business man. Not really. What?
What?
What are your first to say?
Are your first to say? You shop, are you still hooked up? Yeah.
“Well, that's, I'm out of the hogey shop.”
Still. No more Joey roses. They're still made a good hogey at the beach. I made a good hogey. Still have it.
I still have it. I still have it. But who knows what the future holds? Maybe. I wasn't even one day.
I was in the bad way. I'm like, you have to be pretty savvy. No, no, no, no. I know you weren't. I was saying I'm not a great business.
You're out. Oh, really? Yeah. What was it like? Oh, no, no hogey shop.
It's, you were in there again. Wasted. You're acting like you fell down. You're a great guy. I have front of your pizza shop.
You're getting carried out of your own hogey shop. It was pathetic. I went down there. I saw you getting tossed out. I can't believe how few times you and I drank in there.
That's crazy. I was in Austin. Now, you were in New York. What did you open it? 2020.
Like, I'm actually... Yeah. Shit. That's the whole time I was in New York. I didn't go anywhere.
I didn't have lived in New York. I did never go anywhere. I know.
It was you'd always be in Philly all the time.
You're doing gilling cubes and all that stuff. But like, I don't say it to give you shit. No, no. I just mean loads of good people. I can't believe we didn't just get wasted in there for free all the time.
Yeah. Did I? I did not. And not because of anything related to my shop. I just did not enjoy the experience of what it was to operate a business like that in New York City.
“I think I could have very much enjoyed it and elsewhere.”
I did not enjoy it in New York. New York is a very, very hard place to operate. It is a very hard place to survive it. And it was very, very stressful for me. Yeah.
I heard just starting, like getting your license to start a shop like that is like really, really, really difficult. It's funny. All that was easy, which is this is. I don't want to get conspiracy theory here, whatever. I felt like New York because of COVID made all of the red tape extraordinarily easy.
Oh, right. And then once you were in and COVID ended and everything changed, then it was like, all right, guys. Now we're going to be New York about everything again. Yeah. So rent was cheaper because of COVID.
The red tape was easier. The liquor board hearings, all these things were so much more amicable because people desperately, everybody was leaving New York City. They gave that, oh, put out outdoor seating and spend all this money on it because it's going to be a new part of New York City and all this bullshit.
And then COVID ended and every landlord in the city was like, you rents going back up. Yeah. The city's like, hey, get this fucking outdoor shit out of here. Yeah. You got to be able to hide it.
You can't have it out here all that. And it was just like this fucking sucks. So I had some really, really wonderful times in that bar. I made some really great memories. It was the best phase of dating I've ever had in my life for the memories.
Come to your own establishment. It's the coolest thing ever to be like, when I go to my bar. Yes. It's kind of like, it's pretty cool. But yeah, but that's, but other than that, no, I did not enjoy it.
I would never open a business in New York ever again.
Yeah. Ever again. It's just now that mom Donnie. True. Yeah.
Especially with con Donnie. You're a big mom Donnie guy, right? Of course. Yeah, yeah. You know I am.
Yeah, yeah. Fucking love taxes. I trust the government with my money. So I love giving the government money. I think that's a good choice.
I think it goes to the right places. Wasn't it wild? Like, like, living in Texas the first time. I was like, when I became a full-time resident. Like, declared home, said everything.
It was only a few months ago. Yeah. I was part-time. When all of a sudden my business manager was like, Oh, dude, you don't need to worry about that.
What your taxes were. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Like all of a sudden, I was just like,
Oh my God.
You saved so much fucking money.
That's what I heard.
I heard New York's pretty brutal.
New York's crazy. Yeah. It's rough. P.A. is not bad. He's good.
Yeah. Yeah. P.A. is not bad. But um, anyway. Let's go.
That's kind of cool though. How long do you have before? It's still there. I'm just not involved anymore. Just sell it off or you just.
I can't, I don't want to get into it. Yeah. You're like, it's like Trump towers. Yeah. That's cool.
Yeah. My face is not on it anymore. Okay. Yeah. I took.
But it's like, this is booming. You were like a scarecrow. Oh. I fucking mug up there.
It was scaring everyone away.
I got a Jesus Christ. That's the guy making the sandwich. Not eating that. This is a Tunisian family. Yeah.
Look at that scumbag up there. Yeah. I am what's it called? It's still called. No, I just was making sure I wasn't late.
That's all. I get paranoid. The, I am. Stop. What?
Let me be. True. Let's talk tax regulations. No, no, no. No, good call.
I didn't bring it up. He did. No, good call. No, I'm. Wait, which is it?
It's me. Oh, my face. It is face. (laughing)
“- Did you feel like an animatronic Chuckie G's thing of you?”
(laughing) - They're starting at bars, like-- - I was involved for-- - Dude, dude, dude. (laughing) - Fuck you. (laughing)
- You know what I mean? - I was meant to ask all of me. (laughing)
- I'm always so good to you, with you, set your piece of shit to me.
- I was involved for four years? - That was my favorite. That was like our best conversation. You're like, dude, you're cock suckin' me all the time. How come you don't do that disorder?
- Yeah, I mean, you don't do that to Matt or soda ever. - Yeah. - 'Cause Matt and soda aren't dickheads to me. - No, it's very obvious. - You said it better than that.
You said it better than that. I want you to get full credit for this, 'cause it was such a, it was such a drop to Michael. Go, why, well, you do that to them. He goes, "Because they don't say the worst things
"imaginable to me all the time." - And I go, "All right, yeah, yeah, yeah." (laughing) - That's the best part of the road side is that you're gonna fight, and then the next day you're gonna call.
(laughing) - Dude, I'm just like, can we stop with this? Like, every time we hang out, it's just like, it's like, Joe, you said I was a fucking piece of shit, like horrible person.
- Be fair though. - You do, you do push the buttons first a little more than I do. - You have to come on. - You got to admit that much. - We've had this conversation.
- You know, you like, we can keep track of it. You know, you're like, I literally will walk into a green room and you'll go, wow, wow, wow, look at that. - It's fine. - It's fine.
- I got peace, I shit. - No, there's one. - One, nothing, let's go. (laughing) - You walk up to me.
- I walked out here, you called me barbecue. (laughing)
“- First thing in the morning, don't you like seeing me?”
- Fuck, shit. - I think barbecue pieces, shit. - All right, good morning. - Let's start. - I was taking a shit, I heard that.
- Yeah, of course you do that. - That's what he's saying. - I'm sorry. - What do you realize? - I didn't see Matt, I give him a hug.
What's up, dude? You guys, what's up, man? - You know what I mean? When you hug Matt, I was kind of like, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah.
- And I didn't even realize you got a barbecue. - Now, if Matt walked out of it, (laughing) if you would have done what Matt did, I would have said something immediately.
You know, dude, the dump on a rivals. - The dump on a rivals. - The deal is fucking crazy. - I was happy to see you. - The dump on a rival, I heard him call.
- I didn't know you were here, I heard you like. I was like, "That's taking a shit." - The roast was talking about something and midway through, I'm like, "I'm sorry, I gotta shit right now."
I mean, conversation, I'm like, "I gotta go." - Pardon me. - Yeah, excuse me. - I bet you're pardon I have to shit. - That's all right.
“- All right, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta point.”
- Yeah, I do it too. - I see you. - I see you. - You love walking up and going, you're big opening line.
You got a real bad attitude today. You love starting with that, oh my God. - I'm just gonna say hi, dude. (laughter) - You do have a rotten attitude.
(laughter) Every time I see you, you're dead enough. (laughter) - That's such a funny thing. - I just drove 13 hours.
B's are lied to me about the airports. - You should have to fuck up, Joe. - Dude, and then you'll fuck in, now everyone you'll do, you'll text me, there'll be some hang that you weren't there for.
Next morning, you'll be like, "I know what you did, you fucking shit, I'm bad." (laughter) - That was nice. - I like to stay home, if you guys are out party
and I go, I'm gonna take it easy. (laughter) - I know what you're up to. - Yeah, wait, there was another one you did, I was just trying to remember it, fuck.
The bad attitude is a big one.
- Bad attitude, so good.
- Well, well, well, it's nice.
When someone comes in, well, well, well, (laughter) - It's, it's, it's, well, playing offense is the defense. - Yeah, 'cause you know it's covered, it's just,
“I know, I, oh, that's what it was, I remember now,”
I remember now, I remember now. I know when you think, I know when you think that you were fucking want me too much. And it's very nice, but you will do a thing now when we're drinking.
If you think you're fucking want me too much for no reason, you'll come up behind me and you'll grab my shoulder and you'll be like, "You're a good man, dude, I love you." (laughter)
You know, he thinks he's, he thinks he's fucking want me to. - Really, really, yeah, you get self-set. - I get upset. Sometimes when you, you're self-set. - You know how, this is how I describe you.
I've described you a lot like this to all of our friends. It's not a bad thing, it's, it's actually a compliment. - Yeah, I'm sure. - No, no, no, no.
I've described this to you this way to all your friends behind your back. It's a good thing. - No, no, it's, I swear to God,
“it's, it's a good thing, it's your prowess of your insight”
into another person.
I always say, you're like, like, if you read the Justice League
comic books, Batman, he has a way to take down every Justice League member in case they ever go a wall. Like he's like, he's got a kryptonite bullet 'cause he's like in case Superman ever goes crazy, like that we have to kill him, right?
And I'm like, that shit, Shane is Batman. He knows exactly what everybody's kryptonite bullet is. And he knows exactly how to fire that year. I get you the most mad you can possibly get. I obviously mean that as a compliment.
It's a skill that Patrice had it too. Patrice could just look at you when you're like, yeah, you're fucking, and say the thing that you left the house thinking about. Oh, my God, DM it.
Yeah, you're right, it's okay. Yeah, maybe I'll stop messing with you. That's not never me trying to last year on this very pod. Oh, they're really, we tried to call the truth. Yeah, then I walked into the green room and you're like,
hey, look, his hair you fucking top it shit. No, no, okay. That night you started it, and then you kept going, you kept going, all right, that's it. I want to let you run.
Let's shake it, I'm going to stop. I would make bottom, I'd make bottom, I'd make bottom, I'd make it up true, it's true, it's true, it's true, it's true. We can't, we promise. Yeah, six years later, we're like, fuck you, dude.
Just go to shit, immediately just went to shit. Yeah, I do like the PA and oh, oh, there's a big PA.
The first old tax, and then there's over the line.
There's over the line. Oh, oh, sorry, the PA, it's like you paid me, I'm going to PA you. Okay, but that's no well, dude. I don't think any of us have a lot of ols. Everyone has no well.
What's, no, I'm saying like, I haven't witnessed a lot of ols take place as well. Yeah, we, we, we, we usually don't take it that far. No, no, the, I'm trying to think of somebody who, who does, Tommy's kind of a habitual oel, a stepper, spit on that.
Oh, yeah, that's a oel. He did slap me in the face and miss an oel slap. Oh, yeah. Kind of as hard as he can.
“Yeah, yeah, and I go, and you were like, you're like, Tommy, what are you doing?”
And you say, what? What? What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's great, you just did it perfect.
And I go, I go, look, it's no big deal, dude. It's no big deal. We're drunk. I don't care. I go, do me a favor.
Don't wake up tomorrow. We're worried about this and call me and be like, dude, I'm so sorry. I'm embarrassed, right? Because I'm not fucking going to because I'm not sorry. I don't like, well, don't do that either.
That's psychotic. Yeah. But he just was so just like, I don't, like, and then he did call me. I'm sorry. But he'll slap you in the fucking, he'll give me a nice slap.
He's a big slap guy. That's wild. It is, it's a big slap man after all, you'll see, it's absolutely like, dude. Is it like a Robert De Nero kind of affectionate? It is, but he takes it too far.
Yeah. Sometimes he's a little too drunken. Yeah. He'll really slap you. True.
Yeah. Fucking, we were in, I was in the earth in the night, fucking Gomez. I'm sitting backstage at Kiltoni. I didn't know who it was. Gomez, Gomez comes up behind me, puts me in a, starts by like hugging me around
the neck. And I'm like, I don't know who this is. Slides into a triangle chokehold and starts doing it so strong where I go, bro, bro, stop and then fucking hurts.
He goes, literally like, you are such a pussy, you tap, you tap, you tap, we'...
push, he says stop, I go, I didn't even know the fucking worst dude, are you a psycho?
“You're defending this, that is psychotic, and then he opened with it on stage and it bombed.”
Yeah. He went out, he's like, throws his socks on panel, he goes, does such a pussy. I put him a child chokehold, he doesn't fucking tap, he goes, stop and the people are like,
I don't know, yeah, at the garden, yeah, and then he had a great set, but that first
lie, they were just like, yes, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I do the move, police kill people with it, and he was all pissed off about it. That's in no hell, right? That's in no hell. Well, yeah, a bit of a note, well, no, it made it to Pentel Hardy, triangle deal.
And none of this triangle joke for buying this, it borders P.A.O.L, it's right there, it's on the line, now the fender get immediately in calling you a pussy, that's a no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
“That's, that's strangling someone and then calling them a pussy, oh, pussy, oh, well,”
fuck off, yeah, she just gave one of the body guards like a thousand bucks, and I destroy this guy. Yeah, I would love to go get a couple of those rouging, those rouging troops. Yeah, it was a fin ski, it could do me a favor, handle that, handle that, fuck dude, yeah, but yeah, anyway, oh, the slap thing, it's like Shane said, like it's, he's not doing
it to be like fuck you, it's doing it to be funny. But it's like Tommy also gets like hell hug you, and it hurts, yeah, and he's kissing your face. The kissing is outrageous. Yeah, you're like Tom, but this hurts, please stop kissing is absolutely the most
outrageous fucking thing.
“I see, and it's beautiful, it's beautiful.”
It's beautiful. It's just wet from drinking. Oh, I get like, dude, get the fuck, he's like, what, I love you, got the bits and he loves you, fucking PC shit, fucking asshole, it was beard, like, digs into your face, doing like, oh, why did I just fucking, fucking, why did I, whatever drink, I'm drinking
my fucking day, alright, man, we had a nice time cooking at the beach, I mean, he had some hours cooking, it was so, so nice, yeah, the meals were great. He can fucking cook man, he can use, he's like, it's unbelievable. And he's amazing. He made like a steak house, like a real steak house dinner, yeah, it's, it's he's
just in their whole time flipping every, I'm going to go check the steak back and forth and I do the hell the fuck are you doing this dude, we fucking resentfully serves. I'm really, makes a nice meal, he's like, hey, you fucking shit, no, it's got, somebody's got to feed these fucking children, no one here can make a fucking meal, save their lives, dude, as soon as the Connor came into it, oh, it's crazy, it kind of goes, I said, mushroom
was there, I don't know, I could, but Connor was trying to be nice and cheery, but he was so drunk, that when he saw it he goes, I said mushroom was there, I don't know, the time he goes, yeah, I was talking to the bathroom, I heard it, I leaned back and I was like,
say thank you, Chris, it was so nice, dude, the second, man, I was trying to be nice,
I could tell. Mushroom is, Chris, say thank you, don't just fucking complain that there's mushrooms, yeah, I'm not complaining there's mushrooms, so I feel fucking piece of shit, second night we were there, be Shane, Tommy, we're on the beach, Tommy's like I'm gonna cook a steak dinner, I'm gonna make a Greek salad, it was amazing, we're down the beach, we get pretty
bombed up at the beach, me, Tommy go back, Shane's still sitting down there, I go taking nap, I actually know, I left first and I just went up and took a nap, I wake up from my nap, I'm like fuck man, that was out for like two hours, Jesus, I go down stairs, he's like here noise, Tommy's alone in the kitchen, he's got a Greek salad in front of me, he's like, what a fuck were you, I got all his upstairs, sleepin he goes, I'm in the
fucking weeds, I'm working my fucking ass off down here, he was yelling me like it was like
a real restaurant kitchen, I was like, I never said I would help you with any of this fucking
weird meal you wanted to cook, the Greek salad was incredible, I don't even like to made us like that, I was like these are delicious, it was amazing, he was so on edge man, oh, so funny, guys I love you, I got a ride, come guys, thanks, I never promised you a rose garden on Netflix now, please go watch it and my new podcast found horrendous on the one on my YouTube at your house, you're in Tires. Tires season three, yeah it comes out Thursday,
It comes out Thursday, awesome and a live date, Joe de Rosa dot com, guys tha...
is fucking awesome man, this is special, this was a special one, thanks man, wait, fuck off, they can't, watch new episodes of Matt and Shane secret podcast on Spotify, do it, you're welcome, thanks for watching, see you next time, bye!
