Funny Money with Comedian Josh Johnson: Senators Smooching, Lifestyle Creep and the Mental Gymnastics of Financial Goals

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cry right now, talking about how I also might need extra lot, $1800 still to this day. When my favorite way is to think critically about money is to laugh about it. This is Josh Johnson's superpower. Josh is a writer, stand up comedian, and weekly host on the daily show. He talks about what it's like to grow up with no money. When I was at my broker's, it's like, you don't even make decisions. Like, if you're not in the pool, everything that a drowning person does looks

wild to you. Because you're not drowning, so you're like, why aren't they just swimming? Why are they flailing like that? Or when someone comes to help them, why are they pushing that person's head down? And it's like, well, it's out of panic, and they don't know how to swim. And I get his takes on some bizarre money stories. I think that tax dollars are a lot like someone's ever owed you money. And then you saw like an insta post of them partying.

Right. And you're like, what money did you buy the drinks? Because some of that got to be my money. And so then when you see your government doing things that forget disagree with, things that you are actively like horrified by, you're like, oh, I paid for, oh, that's insane. And so not only am I a little bit broker, because I had to pay the taxes. But you're not even using it for a thing that like benefits me directly. You're like, oh, this is devastating me twice. Because one,

you made me count, but it's also crazy. You know how much I'll tell me how much I'll I'm Nicole Lathen. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money ran. Okay. Johnson, welcome back. Thanks to money ran. I know. I feel like we should have, what did they do in SNL? The jackets. You're on two now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

“So how many do you need to do to get the jacket? Mine is five. Five. Okay. So we got, I'll do 10.”

I'll come see you anytime. You just let me know. Have you been? Yeah. No, no, no, you, you, no,

Yeah. Yeah. You, you like, I mean, a person. Yeah. You made a whole person. You have like a new

“life from the last time that I saw you. And I am doing more of the same.”

More in the last time. And cooler and bigger and better. And that's very kind. But it is more of the side. Yeah. Yeah. So you didn't make a human that you know. No, no, no. Oh, cool. I can only imagine. Like the way that my friends who have kids have, um, it's like more synapses fire in your, in your brain for so many different things. But especially for things that could go wrong. For sure. Yeah. I mean, like, but not even with your kid, you'll, you'll just see me, like,

leaning against something that looks precarious. I'd be like, you could fall at that is,

that's, that's a thing that I've noticed. Everyone of my friends who as a kid, they end up

being more. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, be like, oh, don't spill. Don't spill. And you're going to tell your kid. So I, this is going to happen regardless with time. Because things change. But like not the world. You now have a person that you can tell that used to be a CVS. Like they're like,

“like, like, when my, when my, when my dad would do that to me, I'd be like, what is a wall worth?”

You know what I mean? But then my dad would, I'd be in the car by dad and he just poured it what stuff used to be. And I was like, oh, okay. I guess, I guess everything will just stay like this from now on. And now when my friends visit New York, that's the closest I get to being like, I used to be a Walgreens. And now they made a table tennis play back in my day, back in my day, 10 years ago. 90s is back. And shit is becoming cool. What do you think about, um, like that,

that sort of wave towards ownership, though? Because I think that's one of the reasons that's coming back. It's like, whether you're a gamer or you like movies or anything. It's like all these things exist digitally now in a way where you don't really own it. But do we own anything? What do we even own in this world? Anyway, like, do we own wealth? Do we own? Yeah, I guess that's, no, that was just borrowing. That's very thin of you. Are we getting deep? I guess so. I mean, I, I'm more meant towards like,

it probably is worth it to have physical copies of the things that you like. So then that way, the people who technically sold them to you can't just like take them back one day. But then your house burns down. But then your house burns down and then you realize that you don't own anything. Yeah. Yeah. Or like, yes, that could happen. That could fucking suck. Or just God. Yeah. Just owns. We'll be like, you actually, oh, nothing. God does the same thing to you

that your parents do. Like when you get an attitude at home and your parents are like, you don't even own anything. You're, I bought everything. And then God will do it to you on like a metaphysical level. And that's my relationship with the divide. Yeah. It's just like, what are you going to get away? It's true. Like you own nothing. Yeah. It's, it's a humbling experience. Yeah. But in, in the meantime, you, you do a crew. Well, you do like, you know, get people tips on how to have stuff. Yeah. I think,

you know, growing stuff is more important than just having stuff. Like in all aspects.

“Yeah. I think if you grow something, you, one, you get the journey, you get the memories, right?”

And then two, you then get to, especially in the case of like farming, sustain yourself in quite literals. Yeah. Yeah. Because I, I could be asked with you right now. I don't know how to grow anything. So I would actually be useless. It with enough land. I don't know what to do. Like if there's not a store in any direction, they tag. Yeah. I'm like, oh, well, I guess I'll eat whatever I see a person with food. You, you grow a lot of things. I'm, I hope that you grow in your

money. Since the last time you've seen me, yes, I've, I've learned some things and been able to

apply them. I feel like, based off the thing you were saying before, it's like you never actually

have enough might of feel safe, which is also, I think, why even billionaires are like stressed out. Like, like, you, you, you'll look at people who have ridiculous money, like money on a level that you're, that you're like, oh, this seems like you could stop if you wanted to. You could do nothing. And they are still like grinding grinding in a way that I don't, like if you were watching the movie about their life, you would then be like, I don't know if this is sad now. Do you have

me? Like, there's, there's something to the idea of building something and maybe wanting to leave

forward, like, all of the ideas that we have of what people who amass large amounts of capital

are supposed to do or, or that they believe in. But then you actually see it in practicing, you're like, oh, no, it kind of just seems like you don't like being at home. So I have a hot take on this. Okay. I think in order to feel safe with money, you have to define what safe means and stop changing the definition constantly on yourself,

“because that's what I think ends up happening. Yes. Is that once you get to that definition of”

safe or having it all, you, all of a sudden, like midgame, I'm not going to do well with any sports analogies here. Just let the record show, like you, you move the goal post, midgame, or the goal

thing, midgame. And that's how people never get to the other side of feeling safe or feeling

happy or feeling like they have it all or enough. I mean, as far as analogies go, you actually did really well. Thank you so much. You actually did really, really well. I thought you were going to be like, you know, sometimes you swing the best, hard as you can to get that touchdown. And then out before you know it, there's a goal. Well, way to be low expectation. No, I'm frustrated, because when you said, no, no sports analogy, I was like, okay, we're going to be on a ride.

But you just moved the goal post. And that was, that was perfect. Thank you so much. Yeah. So what's your definition of feeling safe with money? How do you come up with that for yourself? I've started to try. I think that the best advice I was given was how much money do you need to live? Like whatever that number is for you. And maybe it's a lifestyle question or whatever,

“but like how much exactly do you need to maintain just to like keep the lights on and stay fed”

with you and your people or your family, right? And then when you come up with that number, that's actually the most money you need. So they're like the least amount that you need once everything's taken care of is actually the most that you need, because by your own definition, everything's taken care of. And so I think that now I feel relatively safe. I think that there's, straight of hormones or not or like, you know, impending war or more war or ceasefire or not. Like I think

that there's a, there are some external factors that I can't control that would obviously shift how far money goes or what I'd be able to do as far as touring or anything like that. But I think that knowing that my number for safety hasn't changed in like two or three years, it doesn't really

“matter whether I've made more or less money. I think is a general success. Yeah, no life style”

create. Yeah, I mean, I feel like there's been a little bit in the way of Uber's, Uber's will do me in. And then I have admittedly started by more comic books. I've, I've significantly more comic books since the last time you saw me. Wow, I'm not an investment. No, no, I'm not a collector. I feel like that, that thing to me is a trap. I'd be interested in what you think about this. There are some things that are like whether it's a collection or it's almost like

hazardous. Yeah, like almost has that ineptiness to it, you know? And those things hold value

for just the specific people in that niche, but it's never going to maintain a value to be like

valuable to anyone outside of it, you know? The boo boo's or there are some old comics like let's add was a collector. There are some comics you can buy for a spider man from back in the day, like whatever, 70, $10,000. It's like, what's the likelihood that you find someone with both $10,000 that also like spider man this much for this price? I know. And so I don't really get into the. About there. The collection is for me. I think some people use it as an excuse. Like,

oh, by sneakers, as a collection, or as a collectible item, or something like that. And then you outside of, yeah, outside of, like you said, some sort of fetish. No way, once you're pre-worn Nike's. I mean, I have a lot of stories about people who have wanted to buy my shoes when I was broke. I stole my old stinky shoes on eBay. And somebody offered me $100 extra dollars for a photo of my foot in the shoe. That, I'm, I'm being honest with you, that seems so particular. I know

like, like, like, like a pedia for me? We were talking about this right before you came. Oh, okay. It is called Wikipedia. Wikipedia. And I am aware that I am on it. Do you on it? Who, not only am I on it, Josh, we were recently informed. Somebody DMed us and said that I have a five-star rating. Is it five stars? Five. Wow. Did you know, I didn't believe. I didn't know there was a system.

There's, there's the backup plan, basically. Yeah. I like it. If all this fail.

“Frush it it. I mean, I look, I don't think all this has got to fail. I think you are far”

at a way away from the, you know, the feet stuff. But it's nice to know that you have a fallback plan. It's like, yeah. I don't even know if it's B. It seems like a, like, plan like B plus G minus. I feel like you have a lot of, it's like, where are we going in the know? I feel, you're an author. You, you've got a lot going on. I'll sign up. Yeah. I don't mean that one either. You didn't even ask me if I sent the photo. Did you? What do you think?

I think, I don't know, if you had one laying around, it wouldn't have hurt to throw it in there, I guess. But this was so long ago. This was like pre-iphone days, everything. Oh, you would have had to like grab a Polaroid. Yeah. Or like, uh, this is disposable or like a digital. Yeah. You know, okay. The tumblr days. Did you? No. I was too scared.

“You're already getting the shoes. It was $100 though, and it was a lot of money.”

So I'm just telling you it was like a moral dilemma. And so I just, I sent the shoes,

stinky and all, like no questions. See, I've never had that through a means of like opportunity.

I've, I've always, like, I've always had it like the thing that has always got me is, um, I'll be so broke. Like those just pizza, they, you know, those door knockers that they put on your door knob and stuff like that in my apartment building. I was living my roommates. And I just did not have, I didn't have money. And so they put one on and my friends and I saw it and it was $3, $5 pizzas for, yeah. It was like 15 bucks. They were all medium sized though. So we could all each, like,

just have our own. And we did it. We put our money together. We got the pizzas and we got so sick. We got, like, ridiculously sick. Like, all everyone was poisoned. And I knew I was broke because I was like, it was probably a pizza. I'm going to eat a little bit more and I'm going to throw it away. All right. Like, that next day came around. I was like, in case it wasn't the pizza, just be sure. Just to be sure, it is a meal. And so, yeah, my money's worth. Yeah, which I guess, you know, it was the pizza.

It was the pizza. It was a hundred percent of the pizza. I was so sick. Well, in one of your shows, you compare being broke to the time you almost drowned. Sure. Sure. Can you explain it? That is what it feels like. I love that analogy. Yeah. I think it, well, no, I just, I think that I think that when I was at my broke, it's like, you don't even make decisions. Like, if you're not in the pool, everything that a drowning person does looks wild to you because you're not drowning. So you're like,

why aren't they just swimming? Why are they flailing like that? Or like, or when someone comes to help them, why are they pushing that person's head down? And it's like, well, it's out of panic. And they don't know how to swim. And they're, they would love to not be drowning. I mean, every time I've seen a drowning person on TV, like in a TV show, they would love to not be in that

“situation. And that's what being broke is the most like is just even the decisions that you have”

in front of you, you don't necessarily always have the opportunity to make the best possible choice.

Like, like, those good choices and good advice sometimes come at the, at the rate of making a sacrifice that you can't really expect anyone to be able to do over a long period of time. Like, you know, maybe they're saving a portion of your income. If you just don't eat, or if you just don't pay a bill or something like that, it's like, if you're, if you're stripped down to your absolute bearist, I think that, yeah, you might, you might do something that seems insane to someone

who is in your situation, like, buy a lottery ticket. It's like, oh, this is at least a chance at not being in this situation. And you see some of the same stuff where people are drowning. They're just like punching the water at your like, well, swimming is kind of like that, but with a little bit more grace. And it's like when you're in dire straits, you don't really have the time to think about things from a perspective of what the next smartest possible move is. So when you felt like you were

That was some of it. There was, there was like, we had a district manager that was talking as like just chilling, and this was rare because she was in charge of like five different stores. This

is why I worked at a grocery store. So she was always going to like, each part of her district to

oversee something or meet with someone or something like that. And she was giving us all of this money advice, which is like, in, in one sense, very kind of her in the way of, uh, no one has to like impart knowledge to you really, you know, like you could keep all of your ideas and everything to yourself. But she was also so clearly coming from the perspective of someone making six figures because she was literally telling us she gave us like this, um, this like hierarchy thing that she used of like

“how you should break down your paycheck and everything. And we were like, oh, this sounds fantastic.”

This is, this is, this is definitely for someone making money. Like this, as soon as I'm making money, I'll do all these things. But like, I don't know if you know what you pay us at that. And that's where you have to make those adjustments, even in, um, even in how you really information. It's like, okay, is this person making $12 an hour, then they probably, especially in city like Chicago, they might not be able to afford to set aside like, you know, 30% of their income for investments or

something like that. Like, she was giving good advice. Don't get me wrong. But it was like, it wasn't for you. Yeah, at the time. Yeah. So you grew up in Louisiana, you mature Chicago, you landed in New York. Besides eating some sketchy pizza, what's the wildest thing you did to save money?

“To save money. Okay. I did, this is, this is, yeah, I know you won't judge me, judge me. But you,”

you don't. I'll make Loki judge you. Yeah. Whenever people, you tell people, sorry, things they do look at you differently after it. Um, there was a time where we were like pinched for enough pennies that my roommate and I were like, all right. We're just going to wear all of our clothes. We stretched it out to the point where we were basically didn't have money for the luxury downstairs. And so we were like, all right, we're just going to wear all of our clothes as many times as we can.

We won't stink. But like, we dig it down to like our actual suits. Like it was like, it was like, we're going to wear everything that we can to hold off this dollar 25 for as long as possible. And what usually would have been us like doing the laundry every once a while,

we stretched it out for like a couple weeks longer. Because we were like, oh, yeah, I never wear this

shirt and everywhere these pants. And like our outfits didn't make sense. Nothing, like nothing matched for get matching outright. And then finally, um, we were like, okay, it's time. And we start washing our clothes. And then we realized that we had saved nothing because now we had more clothes to wash. So it's like, all right, we made it through one payday. So we have the body. But like, it was one of those things where I was like, oh, yeah, I don't know if I should move back to Louisiana.

“I mean, my question on that is who was the judge? Who was the arbiter of stink?”

We were each others. We were like each other's monitor. Wow. Yeah. And so luckily made it through. All guys. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. So it does seem, it seems like the barrier would be too low. But it's actually pretty high because we really tried to do each other a favor. And so there were a couple times where I had to be like, don't I thought what you were going to say was you put on all your clothes. So you didn't have to check a bag, which is actually on my

way to New York. What my husband did kind of is put his backpack underneath his jacket and then brought another carry on so that we didn't have to pay for and check another thing. So you've got to

easily easily. That I, okay. Yeah. Now we're now. Now it's all out there. I've also the first winter I

hadn't Chicago. I did just wear three layers top and bottom to not buy the coat yet because I didn't have the money for like a nice winter coat. Yeah. So I did triple up on layers and then I've tripled up on layers for the flight like what you're talking about there. I feel like as far as layers go up, done at all. Now that you have made more money, you're not you're able to operate

with money now? I think that now I, I, I understand the the tool side of it a bit more. I think

that you know so much about money in the way that people have a relationship with it before you feel like you've caught up or you can at least take a breath is so much more about survival. It's like, you know, to me, it's, it's very much in the same category. It's like water. If there are people who are dying of thirst, they don't think of water as a, as a tool the way that they use dams to to power things and stuff like that. It's like water can be this tool, you know,

“but you can only picture it as one thing when you're, when you're so thirsty and I think that”

when I was, once again, like when I was like really broke, I didn't see how money could be

anything other than just like a vehicle to literally just survive. And now I think I have a better understanding of the ways that that people use money to improve their life for their future and everything like that. But I also think I have a, a much deeper understanding of how money has corrupted some people and how and how so much of greed is unnecessary. And I think that those things to mean were kind of a parent when I was broke and I'd look at people who had a lot and weren't

willing to part with any other or felt like they needed so much more. But it's only like now that I get a real appreciation and understanding of what, of what like greed actually is. And so I do everything in my power to not let myself become greedy and to, even if I see it somewhere to try to hopefully address that underlying issue that is the cause of someone's greed. You know, I think

“that it's, it's so easy to be like, oh, if you have a lot of money, you must have cheated or you”

must be doing something that you're not supposed to be doing or you must not be paying people well or whatever the things are. And some of those things definitely exist, but I also think that so much of our education around money, some things get taught as just good business sense and not greed or just good business and not exploitation. You know, at our absolute most pragmatic of what

we get us from point A to point B, which is let's say we have a startup and we want this billion-dollar

company. Well, the things that would within within some reasonable distance of what is legal, the things that will help us double down on all of our efforts and get to that money the quickest are going to be some form of exploitation. It is going to be some form of getting people to sign contracts that maybe if you read a little closer, it takes advantage of their efforts instead of like fairly compensates them and everything. And then when you see that out in the world,

you'll actually see a lot of people defend it as just pragmatic business or just good business. But we've also seen whether it's from other countries or other points in our own history as a country where companies have been able to work in a way that really did benefit themselves, the workers at large. I don't think that the consolidated effort around like one individual's

“goals is the way it has to be. And I think that now I've made enough money to be able to take”

that deep breath, not just be surviving, look around, look at the way things are and just see that that thing right there is just greed. Or this thing is like, all right, the optics don't look great, but I see how they land it here. Or these people are actually doing the best they can with what they have. To continue your analogy, you're now satiated, you're not thirsty and dying for water. So what's your hydroelectric dam, the equivalent? I think like food insecurity is probably

one of the wildest things to have as a problem in a nation like the United States. I think that whether it's food deserts or it's just people not having access to healthy food, those things to me are like medieval level problems considering the technology that we have and the way that we're able to live on a certain tier. Like there's people who whether you want call them like the top 10% of our owners or whatever in the US, it's like the way that they can

live where they have so many choices around their food and so many choices of how their food is even

more people than there are right now. And I think that a good example is you look at a sort of

McDonald's, right? And McDonald's will say they'll send out a spokesperson to say, well look, you know, people have choices when it comes to food. We don't make anybody eat our food and we also provide some healthy choices. It's just that these are the things that people like and it's like on an even enough playing field, all that is completely fair. All that's like, yes, true. Well, but love that for us. What ends up happening is you see when McDonald's goes in these places

that are the sort of like food deserts or how their, there is competition and not just competition from a, from a business standpoint, but there are people who don't want McDonald's in a school. They're like, look, I understand the kids can make their choices blah, blah, blah, but you're

“McDonald's. And you also market to kids. And you also, you should, you shouldn't be in the school.”

If the kids want you that bad, then they can ask for some McDonald's when I pick them up from school. But you being alone with with my kid in school and my kid choosing you every day is like, that's a choice that you shouldn't lay, lay at a kid's feet, right? And so now there's going to be people who want the McDonald's out of school. McDonald's wants to stay in the school. And so if I'm, if I'm saying my goal is to give everyone as much access to healthy food as possible, it's like,

I'm going to at some point, but heads with McDonald's probably, you know, and, and look, maybe not, maybe maybe I'm completely wrong about this at McDonald's. But like, oh, we had no idea the cholesterol. It off, oh, we'll back off. That's our bad. But I think that I, I look at food as a thing that is like, it's a, yeah, it seems like an insurmountable thing to tackle. But I think that

“it's, it's possible with the right efforts. And yeah, I would hopefully be able to contribute to that.”

It's not as if people aren't already out there doing the work all the time. It's just, I, I would like to figure out something that maybe hasn't been done yet and apply that. Well, I'll, I love, and probably I messed up this analogy, but the hydroelectric damn for me was like, what would you buy? Like, what's the fancy thing you would buy? And you were like, I'm going to fix food food insecurity. You are a good dude. Good man. I do my best. I mean, I'll say this. Okay,

if I had to buy a thing, let's see, I moved into a, a new apartment about a furniture. No, not furniture. I say, yeah, I mean, like, I, who knows, some of it was actually, I guess you didn't trouble. My girlfriend actually saved us a ton of money because, uh, she got, she got a couch for free, like a new, a new couch. Yeah. Yeah, she, no, she's incredible.

She's always getting the deals, which is also part of why I don't end up spending crazy money.

There's probably things that would be very juicy on the list, but she probably, I don't know, she probably got for free. So then I love her. Yeah, she's great. No, yeah. No, she's amazing. Well, I've heard you say, and you've quoted your friends, Joe, saying that you just want enough

“money so that two senators would kiss. No, yeah, to make two senators, so that. Is that what you want?”

I don't even know how much that is. You know, it's, it's a little disappointing, because I feel like that's a much cheaper number than people would be imagining. Like how much is it? And who are the senators? I haven't picked yet. Well, I think, maybe. I'm his now. Maybe. Okay. You got to have fetterman in there. Maybe fetterman and Lindsey Graham. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. They have the height difference. They have the beauty and the

best thing going. That'd be incredible. But how much would that go for, do you think? I don't

know, probably like $20,000. I'm not. I was like, it's truly like you, I don't know. You, you look at some, look, maybe some people's convictions genuinely just change over, over time. But I think that whenever people are becoming advocates for everything that they actually ran against within their term, there has to be like some sort of lobbying or some sort of money involved. And so I look at like a Christian cinema or something. And I'm like, all right, you changed a lot pretty quickly.

And it doesn't seem like I don't know her finances or anything. Maybe she's doing very well. But it seems like all she got out of it were those outfits. Like, I feel like for the most part, American house reps and senators are incredibly cheap to buy. It's like, you look at Eric Adams, Eric Adams was probably one of the easiest people. You just need to take a

you should be so hard to bribe. More convictions aside. You should be like, no, I'm giving you

real, at least with what was it? Was it meninas or who, who was it in Illinois, who got like goal bars?

“That's what they caught it. What was goal, like actual lonely tones, corruption is a type of”

corruption. You need to be odd. If you were an elected official. Have you been surprised? Like when you've seen, and you don't have to go into it, or we could believe it out, or whatever you want to say, like, when you've seen like one of these big juicy TV money wires hit, have you been like damn. Honestly, no, it's like, you know what's funny about it is that you, I luckily,

I've been blessed enough to be writing for long enough that honestly, even getting that

step up and increase in pay, it was like an adjustment. I felt ready to make because it was happening at the same time as other things were coming in. So it wasn't like there was just one big check that changed my life or anything like that. I also feel like if anything, you know, I didn't really start investing and didn't have the money to invest until I was about 29. And so I'm still feel relatively new and fresh to like allow the tools and everything.

So I'm fingers crossed, I'm just getting started as far as that that stuff goes, but if anything, what what made me would gave me that reaction more so than any like one check was actually getting the returns on a structure note, because that's when I was like, oh geez, I don't know if this, y'all, I don't know if this is good. He just pulled out structure note. Yeah, but this is the thing about a structure note is that I think if more people knew what it was, I think more people

would be upset more than just want one. Do you know what I mean? Like, I understand that they're still risk with a structure note, but like the upside is so high that if you are investing and you don't have enough money for a structure note, like let's say I'm 25 again and I just have my poison pizza and like a 18 extra dollars, I don't have structure note like access. Okay, so let's pause for one

moment. So first of all, starting at 29 is awesome to start investing. Second of all, you have a friend

that you can call it at literally any time. Third of all, structure notes are basically principal protected products. There's all sorts of varieties of them. You get your principal protected. There's an downside cap and an upside cap. Continue. But the, I guess the issue is that when you are a regular investor, retail investor, whatever, you are in a position where you can't protect your principal. And I think that more people, if they, if they were aware of what a structure note was,

would be furious about the idea that people who already have this chunk get to protect their chunk and participate, and then people who have anything less than that chunk are like more on the hook for how the market behaves. And so I think just just from a place of more so fairness than, from a place of like uncredible gains, I was like really shocked. I think the analogy for me on that one

“is like the more famous you get, the more stuff you get for free. Sure, sure. So you have to pay for”

stuff. And then when you can afford the stuff, you get it for free. Which is, what I'm setting to the people who that's, that's a very fair money to pay for. That's not it. That's very, very fair. I mean, right now, I'm at a level where the only things I really get for free are fries and napkins. If I, if I go somewhere and somebody recognize me, they go together. They go together, they go together exactly. Tell my husband all the time. They're important to go together. But when I tell you what

I'm about with friends, and we got away in a long line. And they're like, tell who you are, I'm like, I don't think they know. I also already spoke to them. So that was their moment to notice if they were going to know. You got an napkin? I got an napkin too. Actually a couple of napkins with a wink too,

“which means that's how I know they're giving the napkins because it's me. And I'm like, oh, thanks.”

Well, you're killing the game. So structured notes on them. Okay. Hell yeah. I will say, to you be fair. I'll just put a small asterisk here. If anyone was something who's confused about structured notes, we don't get into them often in the show. So we're a little bit more advanced, but they're similar to what somebody can buy as a bond or treasury or CD. And those are accessible.

actual financial instruments go, I'm like, just dipping my toes in. And then I try not to, I mean,

you're very good about not being doom and gloom. Like sometimes I'll see something and then you'll have a post about it that is like either the reason not to panic or the actual upside. But that being said, I don't know. Oh, yeah, 100%. But I don't know what to think of this whole spacex thing.

“It doesn't make me very nervous. Why? Because I think that there is a large amount of speculation”

to the point of like fraud. Like we are doing NFTs again, but now with AI in a way where a company that was about to have a ton of layoffs because they did some overhiring and it's that seasonal thing of like we, you know, they bulk up for winter and then they get lean in the summer or whatever.

They now get to do that with the, at least the intentional misdirection of doing it because

they're a leaner because of AI, which isn't really the reason they did it. Like they are laying people off that they lay people off seasonally, you can look back 10 years and it's like every year Microsoft does a little shedding. But now they get to be like, oh, we're just leaner because we replace all these people with AI and it's like, okay, maybe that's true. But there's a high likelihood for a lot of companies doing it that it's not. Then they also have these products that they use.

There's like a, there's like a self imposed in the markets and in, and in a lot of industries, a thing of like we use our AI tools, even if they aren't working and even if our current

staff have to work around the bugs in the system. So what is being offered isn't actually better

and it's not improving lives just yet. I'm not saying it's not going to get better, but just like for what it is right now. So to invest off of that, like that's the reason to me that so many people are comparing this to the sort of dot com bubble, not dot com in that we stopped using the internet. Obviously the internet got bigger. We use it more than ever, but you know, was it pets dot com was not like viable because it just because they put dot com. Things that are AI aren't viable just

because they're, they say AI, like you see what happened with was it all birds or fly bird or whatever and they went from a shoe company to like, now they're like, oh, we're an AI company and then they're stock went up and it's like that type of, that type of thing is dangerous to me.

“So I think that there are bubble like qualities within the space for sure. So it's yes and like”

it technology that's going to be transformative. Yes, and are there bubble qualities? Yes and are there crazy SPVs and all sorts of charlatans that are coming out of the woodwork? Yes. So I think both things can be true with AI. So it sounds like you're not buying any of these IPOs right now. Yeah, I mean, I feel like, you know, I don't think I would buy just because I'm okay, you know, to what we talked about before, I'm okay making a little bit less money

if I can understand it. You know, like, I don't know if I should jump in the water with a thing that is a trend that's making a lot of people a lot of money because I also won't know when to get out of the pool. Like I won't know when the drain has been pulled and like, you know, now people are getting sucked to the bottom and drowning or whatever. Like I personally feel like, okay, maybe I don't get why Jim and I make sense, but you know, maybe maybe I won't invest

“and that's okay because I didn't get it anyway. And so I think that this is an important”

lesson if you don't understand it, don't put your money in it. Yeah, because I think anything I'm missing out on, it's like am I missing out because I wouldn't even understand why I got the money here. He like, like if I invested in the IPO, just like skyrocketed, I think I'd be like, all right, that's good. I think and then I then whether or not I stayed in would be according to some, like, sunk in cost or or some belief that it was going to go even higher, but not anything connected

to like a tangible understanding of what I'm investing in. So I don't know, that's why it makes me nervous. And I'm also nervous that it would pull a lot of the market down with it. You're nervous about a lot of things I was going to say, by the way. Yeah, I have a lot of issues. Original definition to me about whether or not you're safe with your money, start talking about the straight of hormones and like also. And by the way, like, no offense, Josh, I love you.

I love you long time. If something happened, if there's a war, you're not the only one who's

by the time I'm affected, we're all in a bad way. I guess I'm just more thinking about like,

“what would I do? Because I don't know how to grow food. So like, what would I do next?”

Seeing less, seamless. Yes. So I loved that the first time you were on the show, you really

broke down the business of comedy. We're going to link that in the show notes. So you could see, you know, where you're making money, where you're not making money with somebody who's an aspiring comedian. We do a segment called Funny Money on the show with comedian. So I'm going to be the money part. I'm going to give you some headlines. Okay. And you as the funny expert are going to give me your take. Are you ready? Okay. Men went viral after asking his date for a refund after their

unsuccessful first meet up. He paid for her drinks on their first date. And a few days later,

he asked to go on a second date and she declined. In response, he asked her if she could

Venmo him back for the payment for her drinks. Who's side are you on? I'm definitely on the woman's side because I've seen a thing like this happen before. My friend once went out with a guy and it wasn't working out. And after like two, three weeks, she was like, hey, I don't think we're

“meant to be. And he was like, well, you all be 45, 62. What? And then she was like, what?”

And did she counter? No, no, she was like, well, you owe me $300 for my everything. Hair, all that stuff. She didn't even get there because she didn't know where this number came from, but this number came from him getting her breakfast burritos. And he had counted up. He it. Tallyed the breakfast burritos. And it was like, in my head, I was like, all right, but what have y'all been together longer? Jeremy, like, is he just has so little faith in

his whole relationship that he tallyed every day? It case six months or not. She's like, it's not working out. Well, you all made 12, but it's 65. Wow. So yeah, no, I feel like in those cases, you kind of just understand that, you know, when you go out on date, you're making this investment in the person that you're on the date with. And sometimes investment has no return. Kind of like an AI, IPO. I'll do. I don't know. I don't even know what I said. It is right.

Okay, a woman says she cut over $15,000 in grocery costs in two years by going on frequent dates and letting her partners cover the bill. What do you think of this strategy? And is this how we close the wage gap? I mean, this would actually be phenomenal if the first person met up with the second person. Like that. Wow. Got to bring people together. Um, okay. 15, $1,000 is a lot of lot of dollars. And I don't know, even expensive dates. I'm not that good with math, but even

it dates that are like 150 or even like how much are you? Unless they're telling you the actual grocery store. How many times are you going out? Because you got to be going out to eat quite a while. Because even over two years, $5,000? $1,500 a year. Yeah. I guess my thing is $7,500 a year, but you're only counting them taking care of your portion, though. Yeah. She's not saying that the whole date was this much. She's saying her part of it was this much. That she saved on her grocery

cost. Yeah. You're like, I mean, more receipts. It's a lot of days. And it's like, that to me is like, just just dates, like it didn't work out with anybody. Do you have it? Like, I don't know. I feel like there's probably someotherapy that would help you have that semifinal cover by one person. If she went out with, do number one, she would have to, that would alone. That would you would sue. Yeah. He's so a hundred percent. Victoria's Secret Stock, sword nearly 48

percent after swapping its ticker from VSCO to Vs XY. With that case study, when open AI IPOs, what should their ticker symbol be? I don't know. I feel like whenever I see stuff like this,

“I'm like, I mentioned have money. That to me is like, that I think. Yeah. Just like, oh, wow,”

this, I bet you this one's good. You know, it's like, things like this at NFTs was what I was like,

oh, yeah, like, never, never mind, like closing any sort of wage gap on some sort of moral standard

or just like a, like a, an understanding of what what people's labor's worth, like job for job effort

stuff like this because I guarantee you it's like 12,000 dudes that were like, one of the IP,

one says sexy. I've always heard that sex sells. And so we should probably put thousands of

dollars into that. Meanwhile, it's a side company. Nothing is changed, but the letters added, oh, Lord. Okay. Oh, but that's also like the stuff that goes into Tesla with all those nerds that

“are like, yeah, here's the fart mechanism. Yeah, whatever. No, 100%. I think open AI. Yeah, yeah,”

now look Mad Max mode. You will get a couple extra people who are like, this is also a good one. Oh, no, um, I think open AIs could be nerd. Oh, a dollar sign dollar side. No, no, you can't do dollars sign. But if you were able to do dollar sign dollar sign, that would, that would get all the but they'd be like, there's literally a dollar sign in this one. I have to go with this one. The market says so. Wow. Yeah. What were you thinking? Like, any RT in the R&D would work?

I like yours. I mean, whatever the first IPO is to get a dollar sign in it, it's going to crush.

We're already like barely serious anymore as a market. Yeah, it's a side. So like why would we not just let the dollar side slip in? Totally agree. That's the best idea I've heard. Really? Take it to the SEC. Let's fucking go. Okay, a woman was scammed out of $80,000 after being catfished by someone who used AI deep fakes of soap opera actor Steve Burton. Have you ever fallen for a deep fake scam or a scam? I've definitely fallen for scams before, um, but as far as an AI

deep fake scam, I don't know if I interact with enough people that I buy things from

take to have that happen. Like, I'm sure that I want the reasons I don't argue online. Like,

I don't, like, if we want to have a like a conversation in person, happy to talk something out or even if people are mad at me, happy to have a conversation. But one of the reasons I don't engage with like a lot of, um, uh, keyboard. Yeah, because you do now don't know if they're real. So it's like obviously people get upset about things and if enough people are upset, then clearly real people are upset about this thing. But then if it's like, when someone's just trying to

straight up pick a fight, you don't know if that's a real person. And so I try to avoid some of the deep fakes by not engaging in like, um, um, like too much of an argument, but that also probably means

“I've been swayed by a couple deep fakes. Now that I think about it. If someone asks”

something nice to say, I'll hear 'em out. And that that probably is led me to be, there's probably a couple deep fakes out there. They're like, I dig your hilarious hands. And I'm like, wow, I'm gonna take that to the moon. Um, I, I think the issue with this thing, especially, is they target a lot of older people. I know there's a special place in hell for people who scam the elderly. Yeah, it's like, especially the soap opera, because that's one,

when soap operas come on, everybody's at work with soap operas come on. Like, like, when you, when a soap operas playing, you were doing your job, whether you are working in office, or you're like a stay at home mom or something like that. Everybody's working when the soap

“operas come on. Yeah. So the only people who really have the time to notice who, what's his name?”

Oh my god. Hold on. Steve Burton. Okay. The only like Steve Burton stand are a bit, are a bit older and they're watching to follow a plot line. It's a great point. Okay. 54% of Gen Z taxpayers said filing taxes is either brought them to tears in the past or expected to next year. Have taxes ever made you cry? Easily. 100%. I think. Okay. You know what taxes feel like? And this is like,

in part why I do understand when people are so, like, obviously passionate about how their tax dollars get spent, it's your money. But I think that tax dollars are a lot like, if you've ever owed somebody money or no, sorry, if someone's ever owed you money. And then you saw like an insta post of them partying. Right. And you're like, what money did you buy the money? Because some of that got to be my money. And so then when you see your government doing

oh, I pay for, oh, that's insane. And so not only am I a little bit broker because I had to pay the

taxes. But you're not even using it for a thing that like benefits me directly. Like if it was like, if you named each pot hole in New York after the person who's taxes paid for, then you would see the thing. You would be like, oh, thank you so much this person for a smooth road. But because you don't see any of that. And like, especially on a federal level, you just see, you know, whatever, whatever the next like, um, uh, insane project is, you're like, oh, this, this is devastating me twice.

Because one, you made me count, which is also crazy. You know how much I'll tell me how much I'll that makes me so bad. Like the fact that we don't have to live like this. We don't. They could just send us the bill. Everyone else sends a bill. The doctor will send you a bill. Your boy or sent you a bill. Like you figured out. Yeah, it was that classical surgery. Imagine if your doctor was

“like, I don't know how hard do you think I work? Maybe you should decide how much I get paid. And maybe”

if the number is wrong, I'll call the police. Like that, that's that's who what it is. It's so it-periated. So it's like, you made me do the work and then you checked my work, which means you had the number the whole time. Then you use the money to then do something insane. And I don't get to say in that thing because I elected the people who did the insane thing through a totally different process where they said they wouldn't do any of the insane things. And so I, I feel like

whether no matter which administration you're talking about, no matter which time period you're talking about, there is a, there is a level of heartbreak when you are doing all the math yourself. Yeah, breaking. Yeah, I mean, many tears. That's actually a lower number than I thought would be. Like fit for 54 percent means that some jidzy that we know it's probably happening as well is that with with so many companies leaning towards AI, a lot of them probably don't have to really file.

“They probably just need to file to get their refund or something. Yeah, who are these 46 percent?”

I mean, probably reset graduates. Like, did you see the thing where the CEOs that were given the commencement speeches were getting booed because they were saying that AI is the future. And

it's like, I've never seen somebody who read a room worse than, then like a CEO whose company is

like, how much for your brain? You just paid all this money and you're graduating. This is the party to celebrate you graduate. And it's like, y'all, y'all have nothing on the light. You'll never have anything. AI's taking everything. I win you lose. Like, they were getting booed so hard. The Trump administration is reportedly pushing a prototype of a $250 bill featuring President Trump's face. Yeah. Would you want your face on any currency? No, no, I especially don't want

the, like, Trump's face on any currency is already insane. But the face that they chose of him making is worse. Like, I don't do you see the bill, the proposed bill? Yeah, and it's also the

first living thing guy. President. It's the what were he's like, ah. Do you have me? Like, that's his,

“you, you think it's your luck. Yeah, now it is. But he used to have that big old smile. Remember that”

that first term, he had that big old smile. Like, he was like, he just got two scoops of ice cream, and now he's got the stake up because he's a felon. And that's what we're all. And that, that to me is, uh, is gross. I, like, you're like, it's fine, but just bring back the ice cream picture. No, no, I, I hate that one too. I don't, I don't know if I've made it clear, but I, I really do, hey, Donald Trump with a passion and everything they does. But I also think that it's weird that

we got Donald Trump on buddy before Harry Tubba. Remember those Harry Tubba 20s that everybody was pitching? When I saw the picture, I was like, oh, this is a joke. And then I'm like, this is a deep fake. Yeah, and that's how Scott Bessett hold it. And I was like, oh, maybe isn't a joke. And then I heard about the news. And I was like, it's sad that this isn't a joke. Kentucky has piloted a big relocation package to recruit new workers. Many offer $5,000 cash along with perks.

Such as discounts on child care and a free monthly delivery of eggs. How many free eggs would it take for you, Josh, to move to Kentucky? Okay, so look, I think eggs are not going to be enough.

from Kentucky, but to get me to move there. I don't think eggs is going to cut it. I also don't think, like, here's the $5,000 is a lot of money to help along with a relocation. But if it's a one time thing, I don't know. That's enough for you. Yeah. Yeah. There's no amount of eggs. Yeah, what, how many eggs would take you? I mean, it would take some like, like eggs, like, fertility eggs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would take all other. Sure. Sure. I mean, like,

but still like six figures worth of eggs. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I did my Kentucky time. I'm good. That's fair.

In my time. What part did you live in? In Lexington. Okay. WKYT. Yeah. 27 news. That's first. Was that the

tag line? I remember I saw one of your, uh, one of your old, like, reports from it. Oh, my God. I have, uh, like it was like a part of a compilation thing that you made. No. Yeah. It was adorable. Thank

“you so much. Okay. Like 18 years old. That's very nice. I'm trying to make it in this world. You know?”

Why, why are you saying? Oh, no. That's, it was adorable. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. The station was on Manowore. They're, it all the streets were named after horses. Mm-hmm. I didn't, I didn't. Anyway. But yeah. They got a whole Derby. They got a whole thing. Yeah. Horses make sense there. They totally make sense there. Josh, since you're in, um, veteran of money rehab. Okay. Uh, you know that we end all of our episodes by asking our guests for one final money tip they can take straight to the bank. So what's one

lesson that you've learned about money that you can share with our listeners? Because of what it takes to sort of like make it in, in the US, uh, a lot of people have turned all their efforts into like on building a brand or on building, uh, like, uh, I'm treating myself like a business and everything.

And I think that one of the most important things you can do is that while all that stuff may be

happening on like some sort of, uh, external level, that may be how people perceive you, I think it's

“very important that you yourself remember that you are, um, a person and that you need your days off”

and you need your time off and everything like that and that you also, um, don't look at every opportunity that comes for just the money and don't, um, get swept up in, in, in crisis. I think that once again, it's very easy to see the money that was made in like 2022 with, uh, NFTs or with certain cryptos and, and feel like you're missing out. Like, as an example, I definitely felt like I was

missing out at the time and now I look back and I'm like, well, I didn't know. I didn't understand it.

Yeah. Do you have missing out? Yeah. And then also, where's all that stuff now? Like, all of it because a lot of those JPEGs don't work anymore. Like a ton of them don't work anymore. And people pay thousands of dollars. And some of them just that broken link with a little, you know, the little like house and the green and the blue at it and stuff like that with a question mark, that's as much as your money is worth now. And so, yeah, I think, um, I think engaging in some

more, uh, joy of missing out, uh, because I think that some of these crazy are, you know, people's money grabs and, and to miss out on it completely, there's nothing like missing out on a scam. I don't know if you've, I don't know if you've ever had somebody scam next to you. Not once that. Oh, it's, it, to be like, oh, I didn't fall for that thing. And I'm because I'm smarter. I'm very scalable. Like, I, like, I've, I've done many things where I'm like, wait, I didn't

“even know it was bad. I'm sorry. Like, I've, please believe me. That's why sometimes I'm not even”

outside like that because I'm like, I don't want to get involved in anything. But I, I genuinely take the fact that I missed out on a lot of that stuff as a, as a lesson for how I'm going to move moving forward. Um, and a badge of honor. Yeah, to, to a degree. Like, I don't, I don't do any bragging about it because, bragging now, they almost got me. As far as the NFTs go, they could have gotten me. All they would have needed was like, like a nice space jam NFT and I probably would have

been in a bad way. Like, I probably be all money rehab for a totally different reason. You have been on the couch cry right now talking about how I also might need extra lot, $1800 still to this day. Like, no, no, I don't, I badge of honor. I, I pass that off to the people who just knew it was done from the beginning. I was more like, oh, I don't get it. And I think that that's a different

I think if you, if you had had like the loony tombs as the, uh, the Spartan from 300, that's the NFT

“has a button. Immediately, I would have bought. I'd be a trouble right now. Nobody would be able”

to get me out of this hole. It'd be very bad. So, yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm doing my best to just be content.

I guess that's the other thing. Sorry. I know you're almost supposed to have one, but if I could

cheat real quick, I think the, the best money tip is, is, uh, is like practicing being content.

“Because once again, all the money that you need to, uh, survive is the most money that you need.”

But also, if they had, if they had made an NFT with like bugs, bunny, as Batman had the ears coming out, where Batman's ears come out and everything, it'd be done. Problems.