Rewind with Karen & Georgia - 104: Garden Party

This is exactly right. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Hello.

“And welcome to ReWine with Karen and Georgia.”

This is that show where we unpack our old episodes from our 2018 podcasting memory suitcase, plus case updates. Today we're rewinding the episode 104, which we named Garden Party.

Of course we did. This episode originally came out on January 18, 2018, and it also marks the two-year anniversary of the show, which we realized halfway through the episodes. Steven, let's listen to the intro of episode 104.

Send it yourself. Guess, Syria, are you centered? I feel like I might be. Are you in the center? I'm kind of-- I'm a little sideways.

We're a wonky. I might be a little wanky. [LAUGHTER] And that's because this is my favorite murder. The podcast with the consistently worst opening

in the history of podcast. You know, we invite you in slowly with awkwardness by making you want to turn it off. But you stick around because you're like, maybe this could get worse.

[LAUGHTER] That's-- that's kind of kegara. That side is Karen kegara. And that-- Not fake size, Georgia hardstock.

Hi. Hi, we're here to talk to you about True Crime, and all the things that we have now associated with True Crime, which is everything, which pretty much anything. Anything, everything, all of it.

The thing I'm living now is just consistent pictures of old razor blade holes in people's bathroom cabinet. Like, 2018 is all about shit hidden in walls. Yes. And especially if you have an old time you met us in cabinet,

go check yours. I bet there's so many people listening, like, what are you fucking talking about? Yeah. Go downstairs.

I don't know if you're upstairs. I don't know why your bathroom is downstairs.

Wait, first of all, why are you upstairs?

Go downstairs. Someone's in their car right now. They don't know. So go upstairs. Go upstairs.

Is it double-decker bus? You know. The double-decker bus driver. How you do it? Go upstairs.

There's your mansion. Go into the bathroom. Why don't you have bathroom upstairs? Yeah, that's so weird, everyone does. And why don't you?

Do you, and then open your cabinet, and is there a thing that says razors can go in here, or whatever the fucking old time you find? Yes.

“Is there a little old-fashioned hole that seems haunted?”

And could have a bloody remnants of somebody in it. So much DNA, so much vintage DNA. Ooh, that'd be fun. And just maybe you stare at it for a couple hours, then you start to pull at it.

Then you write a book of short stories about every person who's put a razor into that fucking hole.

First, it's an old guy, then it's a young guy.

And it's a lady shaving her legs. Yes. Can you get a woman? This is why he's the patriarch. He takes over your short book of short stories.

But for forget, women shave way more than men. So much more. We're just all of our bodies. Face and legs. All of it.

Listen, when you get to be 30 something, you're going to shave your face too. You're one of my favorite tweets is our friend Morgan Murphy. And there's comedian Morgan Murphy.

She has my favorite tweet of all time, which is your girlfriend shaves her toes. (laughing) And it's just like, shit. And I just a little drop of hardcore inclusion.

That's good. Sorry, it's just like a, like an Italian. Yep. Just get it done real quick. Yeah.

You need 240 characters to get the good stuff going. Mm-hmm. Amen. You know, I had to take the like close-up mirror down from my wall in the bathroom.

The like, look at this mirror. Yeah. Real close at all the hairs and stuff. I had to take it down. I say that special occasion, hotel rooms only.

Good call. But then you're like, what is wrong with me? I know. Look at your face. You're like, why didn't I ever told me?

But when I was growing up, we got those for Christmas one year. My sister and I, when I was like 14, which is life, your mom was like girls. She, it was someone else that gave me to us.

Holy shit. And we, I used to sit at my desk in my room with the lights out. And that thing on it, like switching it, you know how to be like, hey, evening, night, whatever. Evening night or the same.

But not on this mirror. It was like, yeah. One was green. One was bright. One was like, really pink.

What if you're after, like, what if you're at like, like a late afternoon tonight party? Like, that evening is going to come and you're going to need to look your best. You're going to have to.

“Yeah, you have to adjust your eyebrow plucking to the light.”

Or I would, or men will never love you.

And you'll never find a husband.

You will not land a man at this garden party

unless you pluck your chin correct.

“Your Jessica McClint talk dress can only get you so far.”

And that fucking updo that permed updo. You better get your list of topics to talk about in small talk conversations. And you better shave your upper lip or thread it or do something.

Something. Don't forget about those nose hairs. Because that's the reality. Oh, girl. There's a net.

Here's the worst one. Oh, no. Just everyone's whole. I'll just catch a random black neck hair. Yeah, yeah, I got the chin.

I got the chin covered. I got the neck. You take the neck. I'll take the chin. Neck might be like the next day, duh.

So I'm like a whole generational older than you. Question, is it going up or down? I feel like it might be going down. Oh, no. No, it's horrible.

You're in for a treat. I'm in for the night. That's why I do not leave my house. I can't trust my neck. I don't know.

No, let's come in out of there. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we're talking about, oh, yeah. You got the mirror. Just I would stare into it and pluck my eyebrows

and look at my pores for so long that my dad would just keep walking by my bedroom door going, oh, we'd make it noise like it was a bug light. And I was like a prank man just caught on a bug light. He was like a look at the bug light.

You're not helping dad. No, no, no, no, no. They never helped. No, why would they? They want you to suffer, so you don't get me go.

Well, it fucking looks. And like reach great heights or whatever. You know why? Because then you're going to fall further. You're welcome, 14-year-old Karen.

See, it doesn't hurt as bad. But you don't climb as high. When you stumble upwards, it's better than when you climb upwards. That's right.

Or sore upwards. Right. Oh, that takes so much effort. That's for the rich. That's really like people who don't have friends.

Or like time for friends. Yeah. Time for pets. Yeah, that's for people who are like, oh, I'm a concert clarinetist.

Well, congratulations. Go do that then by yourself. I can't have a dog or a cat.

I just, I never, I'm never home.

I'm working all hours and it's like, well, then you're living your life wrong. Yeah. You need a pet, bring it with you. Bring it to the symphony with you.

Yeah. Let's teach it to fucking play a horn instrument. Wait, speaking of which, can I tell you, sidebar that I took my dogs to the dogbee? Yeah, which is like, I'm so jealous.

It can't take my cats to the dogbeats? Sure, it shouldn't, it shouldn't. They would not have a good time. But although it is one big cat box, really. I love that they feel like, whoa, nope.

I don't think that would happen. Everywhere we go with the shit. But because it had ran so crazy down here, there was so much garbage and seaweed on the beach. Frank was like, in heaven.

It was like a many beach garbage dump. What was in there? Well, there was one whole huge fish. No way. I just did a big dead fish.

That's so cool. Then there was lots of, it was pieces of plastic that look like they were from legs, pantyhose containers,

“like eggs, where are there so many plastic eggs around?”

Then there was like basically a key of futon frame. There's a little kid in the surf that was pushing out a huge like what looked like the gnarled base of an oak tree. And he was just, it was like, mom, where's bigger than our dad? They were like, oh, good a project.

You go do that in the end right? Right, a ripped-eyed one word. Pathogens, just everywhere. One small cut on your foot. One tiny cut.

Do you watch house? Go watch house.

They'll never trace that disease.

I know. All those beautiful young doctors on the beach. Oh my god. And there was like oil. It was really dirty and I took my feet.

I took my shoes off and then I was like, Karen, I didn't think about it until like 45 minutes in. I was like, oh, I'm, there's no way I'm not going to have some crazy mystery rush. This podcast is going to change.

She and my favorite staff infection. Like, tonight, get your fucking feet off my couch. Everything's covered. I keep everything in surgical booties until I'm clear too. Please.

Please do. This is what happens when you leave the house. So what would your favorite staff infection be? Oh, God. There's a lot.

There's so many good ones. I really do love foreign bodies. Foreign bodies. I like a good jump on a rusty nail. Ooh.

I did that once in six grand. I didn't like that. It was intense.

“But I think I did it because I was at a summer party that I didn't want”

to be at. It was very intensely Christian. And I was like, I've got to get out of here. And the next thing I knew, I was like jumping in a field and I landed on a rusty nail.

It was like, oh, my mom, let's be in a break into your parents, liquor cabinet, just pour some alcohol on this or whatever. I think I need to be driven away from here. Whatever the medical procedure is, it's not going to take place. It's not, it's not praying over my foot.

No. It's not going to be with your weird Christian records. Got to go.

See you at school. But I can handle this.

Um, I'm watching a show on Netflix.

Yeah.

“I might be watching that everyone loves called the end of the fucking world.”

No. Do you heard it? No. Oh, it's so good. What is it?

Okay. It's like, okay. It's like, if you took Harold and Maude, yes. Ante, Wes Anderson, Ante. Like, angry at Wes Anderson, like, Ante, like, cute and like, kitchen that way.

But like no shot is centered. Nothing is. No, it's okay. Maybe just Wes Anderson, but like dark Wes Anderson. Okay.

Got it. Okay. And then like, it's just like, it's dark, but like, cute and cool. It's like, it's really good. And there's, it's murdery.

And there's these two young kids in it. And they're like, he looks like Harold and Maude and she's super adorable and maybe they murder someone. We don't know. Oh.

It's a really good show. I love it. Should I redo the thing instead of telling you, sure, about it in my own special way? I feel like what you just did was very clear. That's it.

If I say it's good, it's probably good. I mean, I feel like you're batting. I'd say eight for ten. Sure. Where'd I get what'd I go wrong?

Where'd I go wrong? Where'd I go wrong? I don't know. I couldn't give you ten out of ten. I just couldn't.

Well, let's fair enough. Because I'm, again, I want you to climb. I want things to be hard. I want you to earn it. If you compliment someone without a little bit of a negativity in it, they're just gonna

not try anymore. That's right.

“They're gonna get a big head and, you know, that's the worst thing that can happen.”

Right. One garden party with hair is coming out of everywhere. Oh, look at me. I'm so pretty. I have a beard.

No. This is wrong. What's happening?

You're never gonna find a husband.

You're in your dress. I got my Clinton to hack. You dress. We loved. Well, we're all together.

Oh, sure. You can wear that dress all you want, but the floral's not gonna land you a man. It's not the floral's. No. It's the clear chin.

It's a smooth chin, a feminine chin. So shut up. Shut it. What are you doing? I don't know.

What do you have to talk about? Okay. Something. Yeah, I do. Two weeks ago, the last in-person upstairs.

What do we call this past? Past? One, it's us. Not life. I talked about the beast of Jersey.

Somebody said, I was making conversation with somebody, and they were like, "What was your last show about?"

They had never listened to the podcast, they were just trying to be polite.

I went into a synopsis of what the beast of Jersey was all about. Yeah, as I was saying, and I was like, "Stop talking now." You were like, "Oh, they were being polite. They don't want to know about the fucking leather mask. This person wore a plastic weird meat that they raped at anyone."

They raped everyone they could get by themselves. Which is why people listen to this podcast, and why you and I are doing it, is that we realize we can't talk to anyone about. That's exactly right.

“We all have to meet here if you want to have these are not dinner conversations.”

No. These are your friends, new girlfriends. Okay. This is like a podcast, I don't get the face of someone who is interested when I tell them about this.

Isn't it cool? But usually they like, they kill inside their own race, and they didn't kill inside their own race anymore. And he did that. That's amazing.

Nobody wants to know about that. That's in real life, people are like, "Um, anyhow, she's--did you hear about the bomb?" Right. So anyway.

Yeah. But as some of you know, I did talk about the kind of cows because the islands we were talking about were Jersey and Gernsey. And so then I began to hold forth like a cow expert, because I am a C plus cow expert. That's how much I got it right.

And I'm very angry and ashamed because I grew up amidst cows. I had to smell their shit every day, it was all hay and cows, and now Felfa and non-stop dairy. So the fact that I got this wrong is both shaming and then also, I'm not sure why I keep.

I mean, proximity doesn't equal. It's fucking knowledge. Very true. Very true. Here we go.

Are you ready? Always. This is from Gale. Okay, Gale. She gets right into it.

You're absolutely right about the Jersey and Gernsey cattle breeds coming from the islands in the English Channel, but a little not right about so nice, a little not right. You're just a little not right, which is so accurate about what those cows look like. Jersey's are the smaller brown ones and their babies look like little deer. They are the cutest.

Oh yeah. Even the browns are cute. Gernsey's are brown and white cows, and they aren't as common. The black and white cows are whole-steens. That's what I was talking about.

Okay. Gernsey's are known for their rich and flavorful milk that is high in protein and butter fat. Although the milk that you buy from the store has been standardized in its nutrient composition by removing fat and adding it again.

Cover me. So the fact going to fucking cover me.

Jersey's are particularly popular because even though they are small and don't make as much milk as large or cows they are much more efficient and making milk think of them as the Prius' of dairy cows. And I will from now on. I'm a professor of dairy and animals.

Oh my god. Hell yeah. So I was pretty tickled to hear you guys talk about cows while I was simultaneously listening to your podcast and scrambling to edit power points about cows before the semesters. It's like a her episode that's it was like made for her.

She's like listen. I hate cereal rapists. Yeah. But here's my chance to shine.

“I still I found something I could I love here and that's what we try to do.”

This is what it's all about. And then she said cheers to all and especially the pets gale and then in parentheses it says which in my case is a woman's scientist name. I don't know what that means. Oh that's great.

So thank you gale. Also thank you Sarah Emma Ali and everyone who tweeted us this correction. We got emails from Sarah Emma and Ali also that were all equally informative about cows. That's nice. So just to everybody knows, jerseys are the prettiest cows.

Gernsey's are like jerseys less pretty sister. Oh, now we're gonna get my mail from now. I'm going for it. Holestines are black and white cows like from an old country folk painting. And then the ones I grew up with were hefers which are the orange and white ones.

I believe they are or maybe that's I have never known so much about cows in my life.

And isn't it fun like you can now take this straight to a dinner party? Yeah. Instead of talking about murder you go straight into listing cows in their colors. You know how everyone loves to talk about. You just wait for a nice pause in the conversation.

Did you know that once I look like there are jerseys there, half hers and then you got buck like I ruined my head. That's not the government. May I have that salt and pepper please?

“Because can I say correct to correct nobody really, but just to read this.”

Hi ladies. And then in parentheses is Stephen animals. Oh, and this is called some Montessori insight about Georgia's dirty feet. Oh, here we go. Um, blah, blah.

Really nice stuff. And then on episode 102 you mentioned attending Montessori schools and Georgia recalls having a feet washing bucket. Because a Montessori teacher I was cackling in my car. This dirty feet scenario is totally not a fever dream.

The goal of Montessori schools is to teach independence, life skills, and appreciation of nature. You're lucky enough to go to go outside and explore and learn, allowing those feet to get nasty. Bless your teacher for allowing the children to wash their feet water.

So fun. We only have a hand washing station. I'm not nice enough to let my little ones take those shoes off outside. Anyways, thanks for all you do. It's sexy, wash those feet, don't get murdered, Jamie.

Well, Jamie though, but I bet that's smart because you don't want a child staff and factions. Don't step on a fucking rusty nail. Do you not? They'll jump on it just to get out of school.

Oh, it's definitely. Blazy. Anyhow. Oh, I guess this last one. This is just a fun email.

Yeah. It's Stephen pulled for us. Look and listen David Fincher. Yeah. This is the subject line from Gina Hi ladies and honorary ladies.

Stephen Ray Morgan. Stephen's triumphantly raising his fists. So good. It was watching seven for the first time. First time.

Such a good movie. You've had 29 years. I was watching seven for the first time and noticed this and then she pulled a screen cap and it's Morgan. Freeman standing in front of Brad Pitt and the line he's saying to him is, "I want

you to look and I want you to listen." Okay.

And then she back in the email says, "Just saying has I never seen Karen and Georgia in

the same room as Morgan. Karen and Morgan certainly share that deep, distinct, which voice." Oh my god. Lots of love plus some sloth, greed, gluttony, etc. Gina.

That's everyone. So god damn funny. If you haven't seen seven murdering hours, young murdering hours, go watch seven. Oh my god. If you haven't seen seven, creepy.

This conversation ends here. Yeah. Pause it. Go check your, go downstairs and check your medicine cabinet. That's right.

Oh god. Upstairs.

“Why is your T.D. upstairs near Bathroom downstairs?”

It seems so convenient. Yeah. Because of basement bathroom and an added TV room is just hard for the family. Is your house only a basement in an attic? What does that mean?

Or maybe your a doctor says character, do you have a hat where the machines that clean the house come out of it? Yeah. You might want to check your hat. Check your fuck.

Check your hat and then check the fucking government man. Yeah. Tell them about cows and form them.

Who goes first this week?

I think it's you, right?

Oh yeah. But didn't we sound like we were doing? We're not.

I think I'm first this week.

I was counting. I'm going first this week. Good. Because I had to do it last week. Yeah.

I find technically. Technically. Yeah. Technically.

“You think I think going first is better because then I can fucking chill a shit.”

Oh, drink my sparkling wine. Oh. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. But I can't go first every week because I would talk.

Yeah, that would suck. It does suck. You kind of have to get everything up off the ground. Right. All right.

You set a tone. Yeah. And what it intimidate you, but you really control the mood right now. Just get me fuck. Oh no.

The thing to is what if what if this is your murder?

What if my murder is your murder and I go get a first?

Then you don't have to go. I can't wait. Then I just sit back and go like yes girl tell it. Yeah. Yeah.

You forgot this part of it. Let me tell you this thing. Okay. Okay. We are back.

God, do you remember one thing like, well, things in walls kicked off. But the the razor sluts kicked off. That's what it was. No one knew what that slot was in old timey medicine cabinets. Right.

Which I, I didn't. And we didn't. We had, I had that actual fucking thing in my grandma's house. Yeah. It was so fascinating to learn.

And we all kind of discovered it together. And then then then it basically we built from there of like that's fascinating. What else? Yeah. And people started sending us the photos of their the razors and their little things and

get that was very exciting. I was just telling Georgia off Mike that this we are now getting into episodes where

“I can remember kind of like very clearly.”

Those early days were very blurry. Absolutely. Um, then we kind of get into when we start going like, oh, someone's giving us an idea. And then we're building an idea. Right.

And we're getting fun. Like responses because it's and then so it'd been two years. So people had like been around at that point and was just like new anymore. No. It's like that we were really getting that Colin response part of the podcast, which is like

the best part of the podcast. Yeah. And of course becomes the worst part of the point. The best, the worst, all of the things. The whole caboodle.

I would love to address that I to this day feel shame about how I got, about everything. How wrong I got my cow information when I claim to be from the country. And I claim to be agriculturally based individual. You're not. But I'm kind of a fraud because I am not like a dairy rancher.

I'm not. I'm just from like a farm area. I grew up around them, but like I love to, you know, me and I love to be like, oh, yeah, it's me, the expert and then they're like, it's not a, it's not a jersey count. It's a girl or whatever and you're like, oh, all right.

So eight years later and you're still eating shit about it, it was a good way. This is one of the many things this podcast taught me, which is what the Internet taught me as a Gen X or where's like you can't just freely kind of fit anymore, because people can immediately be like, no, it's not right. That's wrong.

Exactly, immediately or you're, you're talking to so many more people than you were with before. Yeah, this that there was going to be someone who knows what they're talking, like what you're pulsing about. Yeah.

And they're going to call you on it. I'm going to be like, no, I'm a cow doctor and actually, and I'm mad. I'm actually do better with cow doctoring. Come with me to the cow doctor. Fucking love that guy.

All right. End of the fucking world. That was such a great show. Yeah. Finally, good one.

We had a whole, our Montessori thing, which is like the fun thing that Allison found the update that Montessori is actually getting bigger. Really? It's not going away. So, okay.

She has she says Montessori education is continuing to grow in popularity with her proficiency. Five thousand Montessori schools now operating across the U.S. Yeah. And we had both gone to one, right?

Yeah. That's like, that's where any of the lower back tattoos. Yeah. And we have a podcast. I mean, a same podcast.

It's like a meant to be clearly crazy. All right.

So, I guess I go first in this one.

You do go first.

“Would you rather go first or second, like as a rule?”

Second. Really? I think primarily because it's the weird thing of in comedy going last is the position to be in. Yeah.

It's hard to get out of that. We're first. You do have to kind of set up the whole thing. Your, you set the tone. Yeah.

I think I like going first because when I have to wait, I'm just like nervous the whole time about going. And I'm thinking the whole time about my delivery and how it's going to go. And so I can't concentrate. Like when I go first and I'm done, then I can fucking just completely chill out and

listen to yours. Yeah. So it's another reason why it's a good combination. Yeah. But I do like the way that we've turned it into like good like bad story, you know, heart

warming story.

Those are one of our many producing decisions of like we have to consider the roll out for the listener.

“Totally, not just for what we like to be doing.”

Yeah. Always learning, right? The producing on this show is just invisible. It's amazing. So on this one, Georgia goes first.

And so you know, she's happy because I'm just told you. Fucking good one.

Uh, this is an incredible survivor story.

Let's get into it. It's Georgia story about the survival of Susan Kuhnhausen. Okay, now we can start. All right. So I found this story and decided to do it and then found out that it is also an

I survived up with the season and I survived up a set. Yes. This is special for you. Thank you. Um, so I watched the I survived up a set it was great, but also I got a lot like most

of my information from an article in the Willamette Week by Beth Slavic from 2016. So, cool. Thank you, Beth. Good job. Yay.

We're proud of you. Okay. So this is the story of Susan Kuhnhausen. Okay. Any bells?

Yeah. No. I feel like I'm like reading to the master. Uh, can I just do a quick brag? Yeah.

My sister said, uh, last weekend I think it was.

She was like there's an I survived, um, um, that's amazing right now.

“You need to watch it, uh, woman who escaped to serial killer and I wrote back just she”

have read her in a green sweater. I've seen it already. And my sister goes, that was creepy. I was like, no, yeah, honestly, I've seen them all five times. I've seen it.

Maybe two. Okay. You're at the queen of this. So I felt a little, but I think that this is, you know, do you mind if I will listen to you?

And gas the halls. Yeah. Bring in when I think I know. That's what this podcast is. Yeah, girl.

This podcast isn't be quiet. Well, I tell you about the story. So I got this. Please be quiet. Interrupt the shit out of me with incorrect guesses.

This is the one time I've been interrupting you for two years straight. Yeah. But this is the one time you're like, could you please be quiet? This isn't an I survived. This is actually really.

And wait. Literally two years straight. Today. Today. That's right.

It's our two year fucking anniversary. My god.

“It's been existing of existing, of having real fucking personalities, of lives, of having”

an interest that we shared. Yeah. I thought this could possibly be interesting or stay the rest of our lives. Insanely. Two years.

High five Georgia hard story. Thank you, too. Can I get off this. This fucking podcast would be going to, um, Montessori. No, it wouldn't.

That's too young. It's too young. Okay. But let's take care of working. Daycare.

Working moms. Yeah. When you be this podcast nanny, Steven's the podcast nanny. Yeah, I would think so. See you then.

Thank you. Yeah, I'll take care of you. You would be a man. Right. Oh, right.

Steven, you came in what year and a half, I mean, like six months in. My, my, I guess, two year or more. Of course. No. It was.

Yes. This is a heart and it's calendar. Oh, yes. It's like a little like in my locker. It's like.

Yeah. My, my two anniversary is in May. Okay. Well, we're, we're going to say right now that we'll get you something for your anniversary.

And then we won't. So then we'll make up for it and it'll be even better. Yes. That's exactly all. It can help.

That's all you've ever wanted. Yeah, exactly. You know how we do. I love it. Okay.

All right. Susan Koonhausen. Okay. Here we go. On the evening of Wednesday, September 6th, 2006, 51 year old emergency room nurse

of nearly 30 years, Susan Koonhausen, ended her shift at Providence Portland Medical Center and headed to her appointment at Perfect Look, Hercelon in East Burnside Street on East Burnside Street. Portland. I guess you know what that is.

You already know. No, no, no, no. I know. I know that area that the burnside district. Oh, okay.

So Perfect Look. It's our new hercelon. It's so good. It's so good. Susan had moved to Oregon in the early 80s.

She settled in Portland and she was well-liked by everyone who knew her of course.

Everyone says she's outgoing, vivacious, she's just amazing nurse, she's loved by everyone.

In 1988, when she was in her early 30s, Susan, along with a friend and her mom's help, placed a singles ad in the Willamette Week, which is what this fucking, I just realized is what this article is from. Oh, yeah. I didn't put it together.

That's awesome. That's amazing. That's a very popular, uh, circular ad in Portland. I think it will. It still exists.

Yeah. Looking for, and so she placed a singles ad, which is how you used to find love. It's like before. Could you imagine? No.

It's just like, oh, it's all like letters and numbers and like, I'm a tourist, S, F, S, F, and...

Did she yet me?

Did you catch a good fish?

I'm sure she didn't. She is. The kind of she dated were horrendous. Were they sickening?

“No, they were just like, like, a single dad's in the 80s were creeps.”

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. A lot of transition lenses, a lot of my stuff. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Uh, this isn't about me.

Okay. Or Janet. Sorry, but Janet. It's always about Janet. Okay.

So, she wrote, looking for, quote, "someone different," and then about herself, she wrote, "overweight, but not over life," which they love. So much. There's like, that's a necklace instead of like, "live, laugh, love." Or weight, but not over life.

But not over life. And then you can't, I'm strange, you're in the dick. She's reading that. Yeah. It's like, like, you're not there.

Can you know the website, Reductoris? Well, I'm just like, they're fucking headlines, make me laugh so hard, they're so hard. It's like, it's like the onion for women. Yes. They have like a merch now and one of their, they have a shirt that has an arrow, and it's

up to the arrow goes to your face, and it says, "My vagina's up here." They had one after the Golden Gloves that said, "Zero quotes from men about the meat to movement." It's so funny. It's so good.

Okay.

“Someone different, overweight, but not over life, seeks SM who wants more out of relationship”

than just, quote, "slender." Fucking girl. Yeah. Wow. That is in the late '80s when none of these attitudes are allowed.

No, you go to fucking jazz or size, and you die it and reduce when you're nothing and no one. It's bulimia or bust. Everybody. It was a hard time.

But then meanwhile, we were being tricked into ingesting fake diet food that was actually filled with sugar. So like, we all thought New York Seltzer was diet, and we're like, "This is so delicious." Yeah. You drink like seven of 'em, and it's just like drinking go.

Right. And then you scream at your kids. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

39-year-old Mike Kuhn Hansen responded, and about him, Susan said, "He had a nice voice. I was impressed he wanted to talk about deeper things," which I wrote, "Red Flag." You know? No, he doesn't. He goes straight to poetry.

Get out of there. Deeper things. Deeper than what? Then what? Okay.

Their first day was in February 1988, Mike was adopted as a newborn in 1948, grew up in Portland.

He told Susan he saw combat in Vietnam, but military records list him as a switched board operator within the year they drove to Reno to get married. So she married as a student Mike Kuhn Hansen. Okay. It quickly sourd.

She said, "It wasn't long after we had a second. Wait a second. Don't give it away for the listeners at home. I won't. I think I know."

Just saying. Give me a key word. She finds him in the house? No. Okay.

But close. I think you do know. You're just not there yet. Okay. We got to get you for a little further, and then you're like, "Yes."

Okay. That was a very long after we got married, that there was no more hiking, no more going out. Yeah, because people say they're in a shit, they're not in a shit, and then in a year

“of their sick of you, which is why you need to start a relationship saying, "I like”

to sit at home and binge watch shit with my cats, and if I can get takeout." Yeah, what's past like, topical weekend interest? Yeah. That's the reality of the relationship. Nobody likes to hike.

No, it's total dating bullshit. It's stupid. It's really dumb. It's for single desperate thirsty people. Literally.

Literally first. Okay. Thought of a lot. Did I have married within a few years of the wedding? My got a new job as a janitorial supervisor for Oregon entertainment, the parent company

of fantasy adult video. Oh. So basically, he started working for an adult video company as the janitor, which has to be like a bomber job. Yeah.

Like, you don't come home from that fucking kick in your heels and look at your wife. And if it's all paper products and like guys and ties, there's still a level of light scum I would say on everything that he's that was his job to mop off. Totally. Literally and figuratively.

Yeah. Okay.

So he starts slowly revealing to her in the early years that he'd never really

been happy. His life philosophy she says was, "Life's a shit sandwich, and every day you take another bite and tell you die." Fucking, "Thanks Garfield, Jesus Christ." This is why everyone needs to go to therapy and get pharmaceuticals.

Yes. Well, not everyone, but this guy clearly. I mean, it's just, so sorry, that's all of life to you. Yeah. You're not gonna, you have that attitude and you're not gonna do anything to change it.

Like, take a chill pill, and by chill pill, I mean, a fucking Zola. Yeah. Yeah. Lift him. Anything.

Something. Help yourself. Okay. Mike Chainsmoked. What was just like, is that why you being a dick about it?

He would haunt Susan about her plans when she went out and he kept track of her spending

“and complained about all of her purchases, which is like, "Shut up.”

I need to go to perfect look every two weeks." Yeah, we're gonna tell you. Yeah, look like shit. Yeah. Exactly.

Also, she is an emergency room nurse. Yeah. She's pulling down. That is the union wage. She's doing very well.

Yeah. Your fantasy adult fucking video story is not the same wage. Probably not. So, yeah, the spending discussion, anyway, let's talk about marriage. Okay, 17 years in ther marriage, Susan is like, "Fuck the shit."

She said, "I cared about him, but I didn't want to live with him anymore. I wanted to be happy again." So in September 2005, she kicks in the fuck out of the house. Good.

And he moves into his father's home, but Susan never changes a locks or the alarm code,

which was their anniversary. Oh, well, why would she? It's her husband. Right. But she thinks she knows.

And has relationship with. Right. Okay.

“So, she wasn't surprised after her hair appointment.”

She gets home. She's still in her scrubs. It's 6.37 pm. She lives in Montevila, neighborhood. Come to home, find the note by the microwave from Mike, because they're still talking

and stuff. So, I haven't been sleeping, had to get away, went to the beach. He said, "It's here. I'm Friday or Saturday. Love me."

He says. So, Susan disarms the alarm, goes to the house to the front, grabs her mail, and she comes back inside and looks through the house to her bedroom and sees that it's really fucking dark in her bedroom. I've normally, and she's like, "Oh, I thought I opened the drapes that morning."

There's like something is off. She knew it immediately in the fucking, and insect part of her brain. Well, there's, what is scarier than that in your standing in your house, and there's something off.

There's something that you didn't do that is like, I always have a lamp.

There's a one lamp I'd never turn off. And if that were off, if I came home and that were off, I would be like, "Well, I would think I got my electricity turned off, which happens constantly." But my thing is like, if my cats aren't, if one of the cats are in creating needs, there's something wrong in the house, you know, they're scared, there's a reason.

If my dogs aren't, they're barking at the window like, "I'm the mailman." I think they're both dead. Like, I picture a little bit of me. They ate chemicals, they ate whatever I get for a whole thing of trying to go into acceptance about losing both dogs at the same time.

Oh, no! And then Georgia, like, woke up, like, "What? Why? I was sleeping." The other day, Vince and I came home, and the whole house smelled like cigarettes.

Like someone had just smoked a cigarette, or was smoking a cigarette in the house. It was really fucking creepy, and you're like, "went room to room and looked everywhere." And, "What? What did you have a window open?" No!

I don't know what it was. I'm a hallway or something.

“Wait, I think we've talked about this already, but did I retell you about my friends”

who live in New York and they are the producers of Eugene Merman's Comedy Festival? And they put a camera in their house because they, in their apartment, they kept noticing little things moved. And so, finally, they put this camera in their house that would switch on if there was movement.

Yeah. So, the guy was at work, it switches on. Their landlord just is going into their house walking around. And she's, it's one of the creepiest ideas they showed to me, and she's just really slowly walking around and looking at everything.

Oh my God. And she, like, at one point, walks upstairs, which is just their bedroom and is up there for, like, three minutes, and then comes back down.

I never told you about that.

No! And then she just leaves. But it was, like, one of the creepiest weirdest things I've ever seen. How come she was moving, shit? It's, like, she would look over, like, for a while, she'd look at pictures or she'd, like,

lean over. She was just snooping around. So, in one time, she, like, pick up a magazine that put it down thinking, they'll never notice. Oh my God.

Isn't that amazing? You know, that's happened in your life. Oh my God. Right? Like, someone's gone through your shit.

When I was a kid, when I was like, there was a certain, like, young part period in my life. And I was, like, 12, where all I fucking did was snoop through my fucking family shit. Yes, just snoop. A hundred percent. It was so much fun.

I would always go through my mom's nightstand drawer, because there was always weird super random shit in there. Yeah. There was never anything good. But it would be, like, if I dig back here far enough, then something weird where

I'm, like, is this sexual? I'm not sure. And it never was. It was, like, never what I wanted it. One time, I thought I found a porn under my parents' bed.

And I pulled it out and I was just an exercise, like, of these, um, whatever. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I was going to say a VCR. My friend and I went through, it was during this time.

And I had a friend who was, like, yeah, let's go through my mom's shit, too. And we both had single moms. And we found, like, it must have been given to her as a gag gift. Because now that I'm older, I'm, like, no one would use those on themselves.

But at the time, we were, like, like, I think we, like, stopped looking through people's stuff after we found this box of, like, weird, dildo attachments. Yes. And we were both, like, oh, no. Yeah.

And never talked about it again.

That's the thing that you learn, depending, from somewhere between when you're 11 and 14, which is, you can go ahead and snoop all you want.

“But there's a, you have to land on the other side of snooping, which is not only that you,”

you're a snooper and you could get caught and known as that. But then you know something. Yeah. There might be shit you don't want to know. You're not even imagining what you wouldn't want to know.

Yeah. And managing that. And I'm like, I know what this is going to amount to. Yeah. Don't do it.

Do not. Or, I mean, do. But just know that. But then you have to tie with some secrets. You could snoop up a secret that you're, then you're just, like, well, we're going to talk

about that. And talk about it. You're a slainer. It's true. Okay.

This isn't about me. This is about Susan. That's right. Desarming her alarm. It's dark in her room.

She goes to her room.

“This is your last chance to guess what this is.”

I know what this is. Because sorry, Mike is not in the house? No. Okay. But I know what you know.

You think, okay. You know. But you have no idea. From behind the bedroom door, a man suddenly lurches towards her. That's right.

It's a hired guy. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Susan doesn't recognize his face.

He's got doctors of loose drive shirt on in a tan baseball hat pulled down over his eyes. He has yellow rubber gloves on his hands and is carrying a red and black claw fucking hammer. A claw hammer. A claw hammer.

Oh, he swings the fucking hammer and his first blow lands on her left temple.

Okay. You hire a hitman and he's like, here's how I'm going to do it. I'm going to bludgeon her to death. I mean, I choose to bludgeon a person as opposed to just shoot them and get out of the house.

Yeah, horrified. Yeah. Okay. Using her instincts and her three decades of experience in the ER where Karen, all the ER nurses are trained regularly in self defense learning how to slip out of headlocks and

clutches. Wow. Susan knows instinctively to crowd her attacker not to like power and back off because the blows land, shitier, if she's through you are. The closer you are.

That's just me. I'm not this don't legally, I am not telling you to do anything when you get a attack, et cetera. Yeah. And that would have less force the swings of the hammer if she's not, if she's super

close to him. Yeah. She fucking screams at him. Who are you? What do you want?

She's fucking yelling at him, but he doesn't answer. Susan's only five foot four, so she's five inches shorter than the man and she has two bad knees from repeated injuries and her excessive weight as she fucking clearly stated in her, in her singles bad, she out, but she outweighed him because he was super skinny. So she says she slams her body up against his attempts to push him over, but he doesn't

fall. Instead, he pushes Susan against the bedroom wall, then says the only phrase that he ever, he's going to say that night, secretly between you and me, the last fucking thing he'll ever say. Oh, you're strong.

And she says that the phrase sends surges of adrenaline through her because she said, quote, with hearing the phrase, she says, he's here to kill me. She realized at that moment, I don't know why I don't know who he is, but his intent was clear. And those are his last fucking words.

Ever.

“Oh, Susan pushes him again and says, who sent to you?”

She wrestles the hammer from him, and she fucking swings the claw three or four times in his skull. Fuck. She got the fucking hammer. Yes.

He grabs it back, and so Susan grabs his throat and says, who sent you here, squeezing his fucking throat. His face turned red and purple, and then he goes blue. Susan freaks out at that moment, and lets go and tries to fucking run. He catches her, though, as she's running from the bedroom, they're in this narrow hallway

together. He spins her around and punches her, splitting her lip, punches her again, and she falls to the floor. And when she looks up, he's standing over her with the hammer, and at that moment, she thinks I'm going to die today.

Why'd she let go when his face is blue? I mean, people don't want to kill people. True, but fuck. I know. At least making pass out.

Oh, I mean, yeah. But you think close enough, right? The fact that he was able to get up. I guess so.

I always think I'm smarter than people in death near death situation.

So she knows. She needs to get the hammer from him. So she pulls him to the floor with her.

That's brilliant. I know.

She starts to bite him in her mind thinking, I know I'm going to die, but I'm in a fucking

leave. Teeth Mark said people know that he can find him. Yeah. So she wrestling on the floor together. He bites his arm, his flank, and his thigh, and bites through his fucking zipper to his

fucking genitals to his dick. They can't write that in the well, I'm at probably probably now. At the same time, she's going through his fucking pockets looking for ideas, as you can like throw his wallet under the bed, so like the cops will know who it is. She's saying, I know.

Well, you know what? That ER, her working in ER probably prep to her for so many. There's no time to panic. Yeah. Yeah.

Real clear, thinker, and horrible. Seriously. Exactly. She said, I was like a downed power line snapping on the pavement. How cool is that?

Wow. I know.

“The fight at this point had lasted, you know how long this fight has gone on?”

How long can you fucking fight for, do you think?

I would give it a good 19 minutes. Okay. Never mind. It's 14. Oh, but.

However. I can't even do five minutes of cardio without fighting and walking up your stairs without being wounded. Exactly. Yeah.

All right. So we'll edit that out and then I'll say six minutes. Okay. Okay. They're both wedged on their sides in the small hallway.

She throws a leg over his body, climbs on top of him, hooks her left arm around his neck. So she's got him a fucking chokehold, W-W style, says, tell me who sent you here and I will call you a fucking ambulance and all he did was growl.

And then she says, when I realize I was not going to ever regain the hammer.

It came to me that I need, I needed to become the weapon. It growl.

“She says she leans forward, tightens her form against his throat and he stopped moving.”

She grabs the hammer and runs outside to the neighbors. They call 911. Here's the quote from the 911 call. Do you need an ambulance? They say do you need an ambulance and the neighbor said, no, she's an nurse.

She says, call an ambulance for the guy. He may be dead. She's like, ah, fucking fine. But she doesn't feel like as much of a badass about this as we think of her as a badass. She's like, freak the fuck out about it.

Of course. Of course. I mean, not just that this happened to her but that she killed him, dude. Right. Okay.

Well, that's, I mean, that's a horrible burden. Yes. So the man was fucking dead. His name is Edward Haffey. He was a 59 year old Vietnam veteran, an opt-out she showed yet a near lethal dose of cocaine

and a system when he died, relatives and friends told police he'd been raised in an upper middle class home and was an avid tennis player. So something fucking happened and I bet it's cocaine. Yeah. He recently lived or Vietnam.

He recently lived in a trailer on North East, killings were a street and had a long rap sheet. In Susan's basement, they find Ed's backpack and inside is a container of her she's zero. What?

Two hundred dollars in cash, diabetes pill and a daybook and a pay stub. So court records show that 15 years earlier on February 28, 1991, this guy Edward Haffey arranged the murder of his ex-girlfriend, 39 year old Georgia Lee Dutton, where that my name is Georgia and my sister's nickname is Lee. Yeah.

Not really. That little bit. A little bit. Let's go a little.

“Her G-combose body was later found along the, um, quah, river, is that right?”

Yeah. Near Roseburg. So I try to look up details about her murder because I wanted to say some more about her, but I can't find anything at all. So he had pled guilty to conspiracy to come in aggravated murder in 1994 and spent the

next nine years in the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution and he had been released in November of 2003 for murder. Oh god. Okay. So after you got out, he moved to Portland and in July 2004 was hired by none other than

our fucking friend Mike Kuhn Hans, he wasn't awesome. The worst last name. He has a name. It's a clean floors at adult at fantasy adult video. So they were workmates.

They were workmates. So which is where the pay stub in his backpack was from. Okay. Okay. And there's also a daybook that had an entry that said, call Mike for September 4th, 2006 along

with Mike's new self of number. They're like, not a good murderer. No one's covering anything. Not a good hitman. No.

And he got killed instead of. So I mean, the claw, the claw hammer is the indicator. This is not a hitman. This is like a lunatic. Yeah.

Definitely. So on September 8th, Mike left a suicide note at his father's house saying, all I ever wanted was to be loved and every time I had it, I fucked it up.

You're a piece of shit.

“Don't you have a fucking sorry for yourself?”

Yeah. This is not the time.

If you've arranged the murder of your wife, it's not like talking about how hard things

are for you. Right. And how bad it is that you fucked things up. So then he takes off 10 a.m. On September 13th, a deputy finds Mike in the parking garage of a Kaiser.

He's Mike says he's checking himself in. We don't. We don't. Kaiser? Yeah.

They won't have. They'll have you there for 10 minutes max. Well, for it to us, like theatrical. Oh, sorry. Whatever.

Talk and shit. I didn't realize Kaiser had any psychiatric services available. Let's go try it. Yeah. I will.

Right now. I will. So, police put him in voluntary psychiatric hold and they put him under a arrest for concerto six minute murder. Obviously, at a motive, his hit lost his job weeks earlier.

He had no place to live. Susan had named her brother as a beneficiary of her life insurance policy, which is so smart because she was like, I'm divorced. She must have had some fucking, yeah, you know, and Mike knew that. But Susan and Mike had paid off that house, and it was worth about $300,000, and it would

be all his if Susan died. So he, Mike claims he has nothing to do with it, but there's no signs of four century at Susan's home. And the security record showed someone had to save the alarm while Susan wasn't work.

Mike later said he had just dropped the note off, but they were like, you let this fucking killer inside. He was like, no, no, I didn't. So the note was like his cover of like the news that I was there, but it wasn't my thing.

I was there, and I disabled the alarm, but it was so I couldn't leave the snow. And they're like, yeah, but clearly you just fucking let this guy into the same time. Yeah, and also if they're getting a divorce or divorced, why would she give a shit if he's going some, like, right, tell me when you get back that you went somewhere.

Right. No, it's very stupid. Yeah. So blah, blah, all these other little things happened, and we know it's him. The promise was a $50,000 payday for this, the dude who killed her, who got killed.

On August 30th, 2007, Mike pleads guilty to soliciting solicituting, maybe Susan was murder. Okay. And that suit. The hitman's aunt writes a letter to Susan in 2010 after all this takes place, saying, although

this was a terrible thing that happened, no one in this family has any bad feelings towards you. You did what you were forced to do, and in doing so, you spared many from the same trauma you experienced. That's right.

Oh my God. That's incredible. I know. So Susan filed for divorce the day after Mike's arrest, and they were just separated. Yeah.

They hadn't divorced. Okay. And by 2014, she had moved to a new Portland home and like a crazy out of the way called the sack, she said she felt like a broken plate glued back together, like she's just it's so sweet that she's so fucking heartbroken about having to kill someone, even though

the person she killed out of self defense was the person who was sent to murder her. That person who attempted to murder her. Yeah. Very seriously.

She's a badass, and she's justified as fuck, and what an amazing person, and we all

hope that we would act the same way in such a situation, and we're an all of her that she fucking did that, and it doesn't really feel that way.

“I think what it happens is what that shows us.”

Right. It's like first, that's the effect that has on us, right as first person, especially as a nurse who's like trained to save lives, that's her point in life. Yeah. That's exactly right.

And she and she understands why people get into the situation where they're like, I'm doing so much coke. I think it's okay to kill someone with a claw hammer. Yeah. The worst.

So she, she's super paranoid this time. She says I'm doing a life sentence for picking a bad husband, which is like how we don't put that on you. Yeah. Well, broken plates.

That's the thing. For all broken plates. We're all broken plates.

We've never been whole plates.

Yeah. Maybe right when we were born, but somewhere around, it's different for everybody, too, like this podcast. For me, I would say it really was pre-teen. That's when we broke.

I was just like, what the fuck is happening? Yeah. I see that.

“I think when we first have memories, like you have a memory because something happens.”

True. You know? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I think.

I mean, five or six. So you think for me. But her. Yeah, that experience would be. That's something you really have to work through.

Yes. So Mike is supposed to be a released on September 14th, 2014. So she's freaking the fuck out. She puts a gravel all around her house. She can hear any footsteps.

She practiced shooting out of shooting range. And she said if he came here, he was not going to get close enough to hurt me. So can you imagine how terrifying that is? Yeah. The 92 days before his release on Friday, 13th of 2014, Mike died of prostate cancer and

Shit. Yeah. So her name is now Susan Walters. She continued to work as an nurse until December 2014. And today, she's a motivational speaker and provides self defense expertise for Portland's

Portland Police Bureau's women's strength and girl strength programs. Yes. And she's a go-to expert on victims fucking rights. Yeah. She's an advocate and focuses on developing a web-based, portable, crime victims.

That portal provides a protected single point for victims to receive updates about their offenders. So you know, like the people are like, no one's fucking told me he was getting out of prison or today was his fucking parole hearing. I could have gone to and said what happened.

Yeah. And follow that now. Yeah, that's amazing. That's so important. Victims of crime in Mo.

Oh, God, everyone. Molten, Moltenoma? Yeah. Moltenoma, county. Yeah.

Can now follow their case. And then access resources through the website. It's casecompanyion.org.

“And I think every fucking city should have this.”

That's incredible. And she says, Susan says, surviving the event itself is difficult. Surviving a prolonged and protracted criminal justice journey is also equally hard, which we, like, totally, that's amazing. So she said, being an imperfect woman, I married an imperfect man thinking that we could

love honor and negotiate and have a good life together. But he had issues around abandonment, anger and anxiety that he couldn't overcome. She says that she and the family of Mike hopes that he finds the piece he didn't find in this world. And that's the story of badass fucking Susan Koonhausen.

Wow, that's amazing. And there is a survivor I survived about it. Yeah, that's good. I watched it. It's good.

But there's another story in it. One of the other two stories. That's really fucking depressing. Which one? It's a girl who's closing up like the story she works in and gets held up.

And like, they never found the person.

It's just, like, really. And she's so fragile and, like, clearly, like, not ready to talk about it. Yeah, there's, that show is so good. It's so perfectly produced. It's so well done.

And there are, I would say, about five where I watch and go to this person. Yeah. Isn't ready. And isn't.

“It's beautiful that they're doing it for themselves because I bet it's a great step for them.”

And for other, I'm sure other people listen to it and hear it and see this woman tell the story. And they're so empowered by her. Yeah. But she just seems so fragile. And it was, it made me really sad.

But it's also the reality of it. Yeah. It's the reality of it. Totally is. Yeah.

It's so good. Yeah. That show is incredible. Yeah. And then there was a family who's fucking boat, like, capsized.

So it's very cool too. I dipped into a frozen river. It's like, okay. And I feel bad for you. But there's a woman who's fighting off of fucking claw hammer.

We need to get back to her. Can we, how? Can we real quick? Real quick.

Those are always the stories that end first.

Do you notice that? Yeah. The boat people, the boat capsized. They get rescued. And they're like, well, God helped me out of the ocean.

Awesome. We'll talk to you later. Hey. Susan. Hell, but it God not helped you.

Can you tell us? God help them out of the ocean. What did you ever do? She's like, well, I became an emergency room nurse and fucking nailed some shit to the wall. Yeah, she did.

Oh, it's intense. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Okay, we're back. Are there updates for this story?

“The only update is that the secure online portal that Susan helped develop to keep crime victims informed about their offenders and court proceedings, which is so fucking important.”

Yeah. It's still active today. It's called Case Companion. And continues to serve the victims in Multnomah County. Or again, and you can learn more at Case Companion.org.

And like, I mean, talk about turning your nightmare into something so incredible and positive.

To help others. I mean, and so something that is so needed. Yeah. Like, that I shouldn't have to fight for it. No.

But like, that kind of work in that idea that somebody going through something horrifying and then taking what was wrong about it. Yeah. And then going, I want to make sure this doesn't happen to anybody else. Totally. It's kind of the point of all of it.

Absolutely. It's life affirming. Yeah. Yeah. It's what people who get through things in our stronger for it are able to then turn around and do.

Right. Also, that woman, that her episode of I survived is incredible. Yeah. I see her every once in a while, like in a, you know, I'm true crime, Instagram posts. And I'm just like, fuck yeah.

Yeah. She's so cool. She really did it. All right. Let's get into Karen's story about the order of the solar temple.

Well, I went a little Colty with mine for this week. Yeah.

“I think because somebody recommended on Twitter, and I'm sorry, didn't write your name down.”

Because I get very defensive when people recommend British procedural to me as you know. Yeah.

These are always like, how dare you come to me at the wall under a recommendation.

Yeah. We talked about this a lot. But I still like it more. What? Let's talk about it more.

Let's really do a deep dive. This is about you. But somebody recommended a show called Silent Witness. And it is basically a, it's like a lot of order in England where there are on, um, iTunes, it's season one through four.

And then season like 17 through 29. Like it's been on for, it's a procedural time. It's a procedural. And it's basically about the corner and the medical examiner. Oh, and who's the silent witness?

The corner medical examiner? Or the dead body. Dead body. Dead body. I mean, the answers.

Anyway, it's a cat. Yeah. There's a cat that lives in the corners of the corner's cat. Like a bodega cat. But in the.

We're just as up on the show. Can I just say there's a, there's an Instagram called bodega cats of Instagram? Yeah.

And it's made me never want to eat out of bodega again because just the photos.

I mean, they're adorable. But cats assholes on everything. On every day. Like any fucking bag of guardados. Fucking chips.

You get a cat of a, a cat's asshole. Just do a quick, clorox wipe rinse on the outside of that bag. I can never lick a bag of guardados again.

“That's how you pick what flavor you want.”

Yes, you lick the outside. They taste like what they're supposed to taste like right? I guess. That's the outside taste like the inside. Just like people.

I love fucking New York City. Badegas. So much. As a country girl who we always lived five miles away from anything good. Yeah.

When I lived in New York, the idea that I could walk down the stairs for my apartment. And literally 40 feet to the corner. Yeah. And go in and get a bag of tates. They always have tates.

They always have herobos.

They're so weird. Like brand of ice cream sandwiches. Yeah. And the name, the word bodega sounds so cool. It sounds very much like hi.

I'm an arts student. Um, I sometimes free-based Coke. But I also just love to come and get an Italian sub sandwich. Oh, yeah. Okay.

So anyway, I went.

“Oh, I went because I had watched, I think four seasons of Silent Witness.”

And there were some, it's such, it's very dramatically produced. And there's a lot of like her just standing over a dead body being like, uh, you know, the victim is in a, in rigor where you're like, okay, this is very real. Yeah. Because it's boring.

It's a touch boring. They're not afraid to go boring in English. Because that's what it's really like. Because it's real. There's one where it was about a bunch of people who died on a boat.

And then every, so they were just sitting there waiting at the harbor waiting for the dead bodies to get transported in from the ocean. And then every time it would, there would just be this terrible horn that would sound. And I was like, I bet this is what really happens. This is awful.

Like, this is when I turn it off. Exactly. Because you're like, I don't want to experience it. Yeah. Maybe it will happen to me someday.

So how about I don't go through it now. Right. I don't want to hear. Oh, God. In my fucking show that I'm watching.

Why do they keep driving dead bodies up in these jelopis? It's not funny. It's not. I don't appreciate it. Okay.

So anyway, I had a lot of that. So then I was like, let's take a nice left turn and go into a little cold area. Great. And I thought about the one that I've always been obsessed with, which is the order of the solar temple. Oh my God.

So this was the one where on October 4th, 1994. And this was on. So remember back, 94. Remember it. It was on all the news.

I don't remember this. Okay. Get ready. Because you might as. I encourage you to yell out when you remember.

I'm going. Oh, you don't have to encourage me. Okay. So October 4th, 1994. It's a place called Moran.

I'm assuming it's pronounced Moran Heights. It's a ski resort near Montreal. And authorities are called to the scene of a burning condominium. And when they get inside, put the fire out, they find two charred dead bodies. So they look up who owns the condominium and on the, whatever, mortgage papers.

I don't know. I put owner. Owners. Oh, this, the signage. Yeah.

Area. Yeah. The owners are two men. Joseph de Mombro and Luke Jare. So they assume that's these two charred bodies are the owners.

But then, um, as the investigators make their way through the burned condominium apartment, they find three more bodies in the back, in the back of the house in, like stacked in a closet.

and they're three month old son Christopher Emmanuel. Are they burned too? They're burned.

“But then once the investigators start looking into it, they realize that the front two bodies,”

and the back bodies are all covered in blood. So before they burned, they were covered in blood. Oh my God. So then they're like, something actually happened here. Well, then on Tony's body, he was stabbed over 50 times in the back.

Holy shit. Nicky was stabbed in the chest, uh, and like upper body area, like six or seven times. Oh my God. This is the worst part. No.

The baby was stabbed in the heart with a wooden stake. So they're like, what the kind of a cult shit is going on here.

I have never heard this before.

It's, it's shitty. Tell me everything. Okay. Then they realize that, uh, one of the two bodies that they found originally up in the front of the house, one of them as a woman.

Okay. So they're like, I don't think this is the owners. Something insane happened here. Um, so that they, they pull out. They put out a rest warrant for the owners.

Um, because, um, they had the police discover that all five of these people were members of the order of the solar temple, which was a very secretive sect founded by the two men on the owner's papers Joseph de Mombro and Luke Jere. Um, then the police find out that Tony and his wife Nicky had recently left the cult after speaking against these leaders. And so that's when the cops are like, okay, we got to arrest these guys. But they're nowhere to be found.

The next day, or it's the same. Let's see, it's October 5th in, um, the Swiss village of Siri is how it's pronounced. Um, there's a farmhouse that's on fire. And, uh, when the firemen in this Swiss village, um, go there and put it out. They find the owner inside.

He's slumped over the kitchen table. And, um, there's a plastic bag over his head. So they think, oh, no, he's an elderly farmer and this he's committed suicide. Uh-huh. Um, then they find a gunshot wound in the back of his head.

And they're like, oh, so then, um, they, as they inspect the house, they start finding incendiary devices all over the house. And, um, and then they start looking in the out buildings on the property. So there's more buildings, um, aside from the farmhouse, they start to investigate these buildings. They also have these incendiary devices in them. Um, and one of them, uh, one of the cops observes that the outside of the building is really big.

But when they go in, it's really small. There's just a small space. And it's like an office that looks really busy. It looks like those people that come there to work every day, whatever. But it's compared to the outside.

“They're like, they start looking for secret panels.”

Ooh. And they find one.

And, um, basically what happens is an entire section of wall is found to be able to slide back.

Oh, my God. On the other side of this wall, they find a huge secret chamber. It's decorated floor to ceiling and red. No. It has these weird mirrors on every wall that at the top are kind of shaped, um, a little bit like,

I don't know what the word is. It's like that, you know, like the top of a turquish turret or whatever, where it looks like a Hershey's kiss. But swoopy. That or, yeah. Um, anyway, it's all like ritualized.

There's weird, um, these weird stands, uh, like, lecterns that are gold. They're in there and there's, um, and then they, they, so basically it's all, obviously used for some kind of religious rights. So straight up, Colty bullshit. Some Colty bullshit. There's champagne bottles on the ground.

Okay. And in the middle of the floor, um, arranged, uh, in a, like, star formation feet in the center of the outside are 18 corpses. 18. 18.

They're all wearing, uh, either red, gold or black ceremonial capes. And somehow plastic bags over their heads.

“Um, then they find another second secret room.”

There's three more bodies inside that room. Um, and there's a ton of blood in both rooms. Okay.

So, uh, the police basically start putting together.

Imagine stumbling upon that. No, it's A, something on a fucking secret in room. Yes. Like, which is awesome. The roller coaster of emotions.

Yeah. Cop went through where he's like, I'm the one that, hey, I didn't, and then they slide the wall back. And it's like, well, here you go. Yeah. This is what you want to.

Here's your secret room, friend. Um, so they realize that this is obviously a ritualized mask.

But there's so much blood in the room.

They're like, oh, this wasn't voluntary for a lot of these people. Um, yeah. Uh, and most of the people had been killed by gunshot wounds to the head. That were not self-inflicted.

“So that's how they start putting together.”

That this was, uh, perhaps non-voluntary suicide. Mm-hmm. Or as we like to call it. Murderer. Uh, okay.

Non-voluntary suicide. The worst kind of suicide, non-voluntary. Um, I am a professional, uh, psych, uh, cop. Okay. So then two days later, 100 miles away in the Swiss resort village of Grange, Sir Salva.

Thank you so much. Mm-hmm. Do you know it sounds nothing like that? Yeah, but it sounds better when you say it. I just, I'm trying to sell it like, I'm a way to sell a fancy French cafe.

Right? Would you like a crock? Most you? Or a Grange cross along? Yeah.

Um, okay. So which is French for baked onion? Okay. Uh, the fire department is called to now three adjacent shoelaces that are all on fire. And inside each, they find eerily similar scenes to the, uh, Syrie fire.

Um, this time 25 bodies are discovered. Oh my god. Including three teenagers and four children. Most of these bodies, these victims have been poisoned. Um, uh, and they're all identified through a dental records, um, to also be members of the order of the solar temple.

Um, and in this situation, only 15 of the 47, uh, were true suicides, the rest were murders. Um, so now the search for the co-founders of the order of the solar temple goes international. Um, so basically this cult was founded, uh, by this guy Joseph de Mombro, who was born in southern France.

He studied to be a clock maker in a jeweler, but he always had interest in the occult.

And when he was in his thirties, he joined the rose, rose accutions, or the order of the rosy cross. And it's another, so there's all these secret cults or sex that were that are based on the night's temple are. So the night's temple are where, uh, the nights who went on the first crusades and they came back. And then they were so dedicated to this spreading of Christianity down into the Middle East that they began to, um, protect. It was like they, they, uh, vowed to protect all these Christian pilgrims that were going down into the Middle East.

So they would, they basically kind of were out there protecting people, but they also made a ton of money because of the, because of the crusades. They were just out there, you know, obviously killing and pillaging and doing all their stuff. So they became very rich. Then their power, they were so well regarded that they became really powerful. And of course, then the popes are like, who are these motherfuckers?

We're supposed to be the most powerful. So then they became hunted and then that's when they went underground and it was all secret secret secret.

“So that's what all these people, and that's kind of like the, um, like the Dan Brown books and stuff.”

For it's all the nights temple are this and the night's temple are that. If the guy, if the guy or gal who does, uh, animate my podcast would animate that part of you telling me explaining to me the crusades. Because it's, I would say, I would guess right now. Yeah. And hopefully there was a history professor listening. Oh, yeah. I think I probably got that 57% right.

I think I would have passed a test, but not what? Right, a D plus, a D plus, which is pretty much my efforts. And now, and you, it would make you happy. No, and then the presser for that, that you're not supposed to be happy about that. Like, I can pass bitch.

I passed bitch, and I never thought I could.

Yeah, because I can't read. Um, so definitely let me know all the information I'm missing in the 300 years that night the night's Templar were an action, but essentially it became that thing. And we've all seen the Dan Brown. What is that book that I can't think of?

The adventure code. Thank you, Steven. Steven loves literature. Um, but it's just this idea that essentially they were protecting. Um, Mary Magdalene, who was caring Jesus is baby. You know, that's like at the end of the day.

“That is supposedly, um, the, uh, what, what do they call that?”

The truce. The Bible. Uh, um. [laughter] Truce.

Janity. What's the cup? The Kiddish Cup. Holy grail. Thank you.

The Holy grail is Jesus's baby, right? It's also called the Kiddish Cup. We had it first. Oh, that's true. So, don't come at me with a fucking.

Yeah. You explained it to me.

I thought you know what's going on. Anyway, this is a religion podcast. It's all about secrets. They've based this whole thing on like secrets hidden treasure, hidden money, making sure

that they could always kind of get this, the Christianity where they needed it to go.

Okay. And have missionaries protected. Okay.

“So secret societies are like, got to keep it up.”

Keep up with the Christians. Right. But then as we know, when things are secret, then little power structures get come up. And then suddenly you've got two people that are like, well, I'm in charge of this secret sect.

And now I've decided we're going to do a little something extra. We're going to wash everybody's feet in a bucket. Right. We're going to do, they start adding their own shit. And it's like no longer are you at night.

Yeah. Now you're. Now you're some kind of like, I feel like everyone, everyone needs to fuck me before we start this ceremony. How many times have I said this?

Fuck the government. And I'll say it again. This is not my fucking phrase. It's right. Ella's fucking nose.

He's like, I'm sick of you saying. No. He's so sick of it. Okay. So any hell.

I lost my place entirely. Okay. That's what this podcast is called. Where am I? Where am I?

“He in 1973, Joseph de Mombro moved to the Swiss border.”

He starts a group called the Center for the Preparation of the New Age. Okay. So you know hot stuff is happening in this group. Let's get together. Let's weave some looms.

Let's fucking make pottery. Let's talk about the night's Templars. What is this again? 73. All right.

And he begins to tell his followers of the people in the group that he is the reincarnation of the goddess Cyrus and of Moses. And then he starts telling them your the reincarnation of Napoleon and your the reincarnation of Cleopatra. And everybody's the reincarnation of some famous political leader or royalty of some kind, doubt it.

And then he starts telling them he's the one who's going to decide who's having relationship with who because he's the only one who knows who they were originally were. And now we have this chance to breed a master race of children. So let's make sure that like Cleopatra has sex with Napoleon or whatever.

And he's making up all this shit and people like, yes, sounds good.

And I'm always like, yeah, we want to bone.

Yeah, we want to bone and we want to be dead famous people. Right. So he basically is like, I'm in charge of who gets married. I'm in charge of who gets to have children. So it becomes he goes from like, we're a group that gets together to talk about how

grab the night's Templar art. And now it's like, I control every aspect of your life. Which is how it always goes.

“Even though that's how intense and bizarre it was, all these respected citizens and extremely”

wealthy people join this thing. Because it's all about the, he sells this idea that you, if you give enough money, you can like absorb this spirituality and power of the night's Templar. It's this honourable society and you join it and you're forwarding the Christian movement or what I don't know, whatever.

So his rich people get bored, his really what that means. They get bored and they, we all want guarantees. Yeah. So it's like, I'm going to give this guy who claims to be, he also claimed to be the reincarnation of a 14th century night, night Templar, whatever.

And then the other guy, Luke Gere, he claimed to be the third incarnation of Jesus Christ.

He went straight to the top. Oh, man. So, so basically, people are getting into it. And at that time, he changed the name, Joseph Demomber in 1978 changes the name to the foundation of the Golden Way.

He takes a core group of the followers and it's like, we're super into this. Let's go start the foundation of the Golden Way. And in that group, that's when Luke Gere shows up. He is Luke Gere was born in the Belgian Congo. He studied to be an actual doctor.

Then he decides he's not into, like, traditional medicines. And he wants to be an alternative healer. So then he starts getting really into holistic medicine and really into new age shit. And he starts, he becomes like a star on the new age circuit. He's the one that, like, in the mid late 70s is out there telling everybody,

here's how you tap into your inner, the goddess I wrote right over the fuck it is. When you stop writing that gas, you don't have to write that gas prices. You don't have any job and money because you're wealthy. Yeah, don't worry about any of the things that everybody else in Jimmy Carter's America right now about. Don't worry about it.

Yeah. Because you have enough money. So come join a cult. Come secret sect with us. Yeah.

So when they meet Joe Demomber knows that this guy, he's like the face man. He's going to be the perfect pitch man for their new cult, which they, in 1984, basically reconfigure.

They reconfigure and call themselves the order of the solar temple.

“So that's when Luke's array comes into Joe Demomber's life.”

That's when it all clicks.

So basically, they, in this group, they have these rituals that are based on ancient Christian and Masonic rights.

It's all secret. So all the members are secret, all that nobody tells anybody else that they're in this group. And at its height, they had lodges in Canada, Australia, Switzerland, and Martinique. I mean, I'll join just a fucking go on. Okay.

I mean, right? You know, just go to an island and then pretend you're clear. Patras skiing and chef skiing and Martinique. Great. So that was a joke, everybody.

I know Martinique is a beautiful island. So soon, the topic changes. And when I say soon, I mean after seven years or whatever the fuck. Soon, these people will stay in this weird cult. They start sending this message that in apocalypse is coming.

It's an environmental apocalypse. Man has caused it. It's man's fault that it's going to happen. And only the elite are going to survive it. Great.

“So if you want to be in that group, want you kicked down all of the money that you have.”

No. Yeah, they, they make everybody give them all of their money. Yeah, and it's this insurance. So eventually that message becomes the reason that you should trust us is that Joe's daughter whose name was Emmanuel. She was one of nine existing cosmic children who would lead them all to a planet that was next

to the star serious. And his son also Eli, I believe his name was. His, his destiny Eli's destiny was to usher in the new age. So luckily, the leader of this cults two children were the key pieces to get them to.

So basically, the earth is going to end for environmental reasons.

And then they were going to travel via the path of fire to a planet that's next to the star serious. Everyone's like, it's crazy. And I want to be like, how the fuck? But like, there's, there's the podcast Heavens Gate that's super good. Like, my sad retelling of the Heavens Gate story last week.

Before the podcast came out, by the way, I just, I didn't know about it yet. It was good. It, they like, focus on a couple actual cult members and explain how it happened. And you kind of get it a little more, but it's just so bananas and bonkers. I think it comes down to that feeling of like, when life feels really plain all the time.

And then you get introduced to an idea of your special. And there's more than this and you're correct.

“Everyone else is going along with their everyday life.”

And they're all lemon's your special. I see how special you are. Come in. Do my ritual. Yeah.

Let me show you. I have, I have knowledge. Yeah. And I will impart on to you. Yes.

Listen, I'm starting a cult right now. Yeah. I mean, I, I'm belief in you. Are you going here? I have Elvis sitting on my lap staring at me.

She is petting a cat in a kind of evil cult like way. Okay. I just uncross his eyes. It's a miracle. Yeah.

She's real. Yeah. So. Okay.

So basically, this, this, that talk goes on so long that, of course, nothing ends up happening.

And, and the members are like, yeah. Okay. You've been talking about this apocalypse for a while. Nothing's going on. And I've given you like millions of dollars.

They apocalypse happen. Yeah. I want, I want everyone else to die. I want to see what you're talking about. I want these things to happen.

We're also meanwhile. They started getting, of course, super crazy with their power. They, they were buying houses everywhere. They, they had everybody's money. So they're out like, they've got houses here.

And, you know, as you saw, Shale, isn't condos every, in every city. They're hiding fucking rooms. They've got, they can build things that look like small rooms. But they're actually big rooms. It's crazy.

And so the members are like, yeah, you seem to be getting a lot of stuff. Yeah. But like, you know, it's on our dime. Yeah. So, then Luke Jare is voted out as Grandmaster of the Canadian branch of the time.

How smart is he? Because he starts to demand that one woman has sex with him before every ritual. Oh, for his ship build strength. And everyone's like, okay. But he, he's getting, everyone's starting.

He's like, all the members are like, you're losing your shit. Yeah. And it's obvious. And it's creepy. So then he gets voted out.

Well, then Joe DiMombro's just like, wait, no, it's our cold. Yeah. You can't get voted out. What are you doing? Yeah.

This isn't a fucking fantasy island or whatever.

What do you mean survivor?

Yes. Yes.

“You know, just as a bit of information, Luke Jare, it shouldn't be a surprise that he lost his”

shit because before joining the order of the solar temple, he had the long-to-a-racist neo-naughtsy magical organization, co-founded by former Gestapo officer, Julian Origas. And he was also in a legal arms dealer. So he wasn't a great, like he wasn't a nice one. Do I look a little background check, rich people?

Yeah. Are you a good guy? Can you write a voice? Are you an arms dealer? These things should disqualify you.

So then this is all building, right? So they're like slightly losing control. Oh. No, no. Focus on my cosmic daughter, whatever.

Then in February of 1993, it's the 54-day siege of Waco. Oh, shit. Right.

So on all of our TVs, we all saw the branched of Indians and David Carash and everything.

We saw that whole thing go up in flames. Is that going to be a podcast tune or a TV show? Like, I think it's a TV show. Like a documentary.

“I think it's one of those American crimes or something.”

Right. Like an experience. I want to see it in the dark. I want to see it in the dark. Oh, that would be fine.

Just the longest American doubt of all time. He works so it's the CIA. So okay, so after that happens and everybody watched it on TV. And everyone's like, oh, no more cults for me. Exactly.

I think I've had enough. We told. Is the funniest thing in the world to me where they're like, oh, this is where we're headed. We're not, we're not actually headed to a planet next to the star series. No.

We're just going to burn government style. Right. That's the government. Listen. It's like, I remember it.

Okay. So please don't hurt me, government. That won't work. So this is really, this is my favorite part. So as all of this is right, it's crumbling.

It's crumbling.

“Our millions, you know, people are walking way our secret.”

And they really did have the had millionaires. They had scientists. They had famous architects. There was people in this cult. Very high level people.

They're a very famous Swiss composer. So it was like a bunch of smarty pants. Smarty pants and richies. And like smart and richy fucking asshole. I mean, the whole place smelled like fucking aftershade.

So what do you say? So okay. Then they discover that. So our friend Tony Dutwa, Dutwa, I don't remember how I pronounced it. The man who was found stabbed 50 times and can't in the apartment in Canada.

The wife and daughter and baby. And his wife and baby. Okay. So it turns out he was a long time member of the order of the solar temple. And he discovered.

So they would have these rights and rituals. And when Joe de Mombro did them, he could make things fly. He could make things like appear out of nowhere. There's all these weird things he did that made people believe that he was special and had special powers.

Well, it turns out Tony Dutwa discovers that he was using lasers and holograms. No. And he was back in 90. I'm impressed by that. And like before.

Yeah. Even earlier. Yeah. Basically set it up. So the whole thing was like special effects.

And fog and light show or whatever. And made people believe it was his power. And he was spending. He was spending their money. A ton of money.

Because you know, a hologram back then was very expensive. Especially like coach a Coachella fucking DJ said. Yeah. But just him and 12 people in robes. So Tony finds out about this and starts going, you guys.

This is super fake. This is the whole thing as a fraud. To the point where and so much like distrust and dissolution was going through the whole cult down to Joe DiMombro's own children who were like Mar-Dads of fraud. Like everybody was trying to make a lot of space to that.

My dad is lying. I can't lead you to that planet. No. But that's my favorite that it was like the the straw that broke the camera was. But his holograms and lasers were discovered.

Yeah. So then everyone's just bailing like crazy. Okay.

So then he so basically Tony tells everybody and then like gets out of town.

So Joe DiMombro announced to the remaining members that the detwas three month old son was the anti-Christ and needed to be assassinated. Yes. So so the two bodies that were in that condo from the beginning of the story turned out to be 35 year old Jerry Juno and 60 year old Colette Juno.

They murdered the detwas murdered that baby and then committed suicide. And lit that apartment on fire with the incendiary device that was like all the incendiary

Yes. So what awful awful people so crazy. And then like once they knew that was happening they they know it's over. So they announced to the rest of the membership that the apocalypse has arrived. And it's time for all of them to travel to the planet next to the star series.

Let's go. So it's mass suicide time. And and because they they were saying the transformation takes place in fire.

“And that's why all those incendiary devices were all the buildings were burning.”

So what were the incendiary devices made of Juno? I don't but in my mind it looks like a light switch with the plate off the front. Yeah. And like there's a little thing tied to this thing and a little. And then a mouse choose the rope.

Yes. Right. And then boom. Yeah. The mouse survives.

That's right. And then a cat swoops down and eats the mouse. Yeah. So it was out that farmhouse from the beginning in Siri. Where Joe de Mombro and Luke Jere met there and along with 21 other members.

So they were okay. They were in Siri. Then okay. So that was basically.

The reason that it's so amazing to me is because I remember very distinctly when I saw it on the news.

They were so vague. And it's still you can barely get any good information. Never heard of this. What was really happening.

“But I remember seeing it on the news and being like, I want to know more.”

Yeah. And all you ever heard was. So then again in 1995 in Grenoble. They find 16 bodies out in the forest. But.

Uh-huh. And they in an area they called Hell's. Hell's entrance or hell's hole or something which is super creepy. And the creep that you can see a picture online. And it's a forest.

There's police tape. It looks like it's from like Hell cofter. There's police tape. And then it just looks like there's a weird orange light. It's super creepy.

I. I. I fucking go a weird murder. Weird death. So we're with the fuck.

You know, all the time.

And I've never heard of this.

Fold some nights. Templar in there. Fold in. Okay. Fold in.

Well. So in that forest there were 16 bodies. Okay. And this is a year later. Two years after that in Quebec in March of 97.

Five people are found dead. And at the last minute. Three children who were supposed to also die. Convinced their parents who ended up dead. Convinced their parents that they wanted to live.

And their parents let them go. So three kids escape. I want to interview them. Right. What's that?

What they're still killing themselves even though. It's over. Yes. Two years later. Like white.

Who? Like why? It's so crazy. Or three years later. So the total number does in the order of the solar temple is 74.

In their members included scientists, architects, policemen, and children. And the group had between four and six hundred members. It's estimated to have made in its prime $93 million. And in the Grenoble scene where in 1995, where they found 16 bodies, the wife of famous champion skier, John Varnay, who was the inventor of the awesome 80s sunglasses.

His wife, Edith, and their youngest son Patrick were among the 16 victims. So they couldn't have been richer. Those people, they had Varnay in the 80s. Was like, you couldn't be richer.

“Are they the ones with the swoopy thing here, the weird thing here?”

No, Varnay is like the kind of the original skis in the glasses. So they were married. And they were like kind of plastic. Yeah, every dish, fucking skier. Yep, instructor has this.

Rich guys. We went skiing the first time we went to Tahoe when I was eight. They made us take ski lessons. And my sister had a pair of Varnay's on. And I instead of listening to the skiing instructor just kept staring at myself and the mirrored

reflection of my sister sunglasses. So I didn't listen to how to stop or what to do. And so basically we went down one run. And I was like, I need to take these off. I'm leaving.

Yeah, I'm not doing this. I don't know what's wrong. And then we just played in the snow all day. Exactly. Here's a more interesting one.

Channel four, the British TV station. They made a documentary, alleging that Grace Kelly, the Princess of Monica, was also initiated into the order of the solar temple just months before her car. She died and took her life. Yes, she was in a car.

Some say she was not in that car.

Some say the body was never found.

But her just is state denies any association with the order of the solar temple. But the filmmakers who made this documentary for Channel four talk to the acupuncturists who worked on Princess Grace before her orientation or not orientation.

And because apparently they did acupuncture to relax people so that they weren't like freaked out

I guess.

“And that woman attested to the fact that it was Princess Grace but didn't want to give her”

name or information because she's scared. Because she says that the order of the solar temple is still in effect today. Still has members. And she's scared of those members coming to retaliating. They're hiding out in plain sight.

See that. And so the very last thing is when Princess Grace is car crashed in Monaco. Her car landed in the yard of a member of the order of the solar temple. Be a friend. Yeah, that was good. That was a good one, right?

That was a really good one. Shit, dude. I know. I want to know everything. I want to know what these people talked about.

There's photos. Are there pictures? Yes. There's pictures of and it's all the faces are blacked out. There's black bars across the eyes of like an actual ritual.

But then there's the empty room where they found the bodies. The ones I saw. It was just the room without the bodies lying in it. But then you can also see there's like graphs of how they laid out the bodies in star formation. I want that.

I want that. Yeah. And I think the one. The people that killed themselves last in 1997 in Canada were laid out in a crucifix. So the people who who.

An intentional suicide. Those people. Did they that they ever figure out if they like were just like you kill me or they were like. Hell hostage or because like I could see people like I don't want to kill myself. But just shoot me in the back of the head.

Yeah, I think what they were saying is that theory is that it wasn't. They were like, I don't want to do this. It was like they went there for other reasons. Some of them think they were drugged or poisoned. But then it was, then they fought them because there was so much blood that it wasn't just like putting people down in an early fashion.

There was like, it was a real bloody crime scene.

“So they think it was that's what led them to believe it was against against your will suicide.”

That's crazy. It's fucking nuts. Man, why? Secret cults. Secret cults.

Where is the treasure? There's treasure? Treasure. Oh, yeah, the night's Templar. They suppose a lead.

That's like Nick Cage style. They're supposedly how is that what that is? Yeah, because they went pillaged everything down in like the holy land. They stole all the shit. They stole the shit from the fucking Jewish people.

What's that's right? That's right. Children ones. So it's your, it's your birthright to go and find that those gold the balloons and take them back. Let's do it.

I would love to. Let's go on it adventure. Okay, okay. Goodbye. That was amazing.

Thank you. Thank you for that. Absolutely. Love a cult. Okay, we're back.

Woof, Karen, any updates? Well, the first update is I just want to say I hated that story. Yeah, like I remember when we were talking about it. So, so dark.

And then obviously, always.

But for some reason, there was. The details of this story were I was anticipating much more. Like a little bit of interest. Like isn't it weird how cults are. And then it was just like this.

This is a great example of my story going second. What have fucking made. The episode. And exactly. On a fucking.

Hi, no. Yes. We were just, we were like, oh, well, this is if you went last time this time. This is like, yeah, this is perfect example. Well, give me updates.

Actually, just one. In 2024, the British channel BBC for aired a four part docu series. There was actually originally a French docu series from 2022. And the translated title was Sirius and Apocalypse Order. It included interviews with journalists who covered the cult as well as a handful of former members.

It didn't break much new ground.

“But it is out there if you want to watch it.”

All right. Well, great job. Let's get into good things of the week. Well, we've come to the end, my friends. Oh, yeah.

What's a, do you have a fun thing for this week? The thing that made me happy? Yeah. No, do you? Well, I do, actually.

Okay, great. Maybe it'll inspire. Okay, good. But this is a, it's a repeat of what I've done before, but it's in kind of an update. And it's very exciting because my favorite band and now many other people's favorite band.

And sure, sure, finally came out with an album. It's self titled. It says sure, sure. You can get it on Spotify and get it on iTunes. And it is so goddamn good.

It's all that, like, single releases that they had before.

And then a bunch of new songs I've never heard before that are so beautiful.

And it's just great. I just got it. And I love it.

Perfect thing. Vince got us ticket.

“So Vince surprised me with tickets to go see the band, job breaker.”

Nice. Which I'm like, super excited to go see them.

I've never seen them play.

I've been in love with them forever. Great old band, everyone go listen. But it's also, I love that Vince does shit like that. And it's really sweet. And like, I would never go see music or anything live.

Yeah. Vince is like into that shit. Yeah. So, like, he does it. And then I'm like, what did I do this more?

Yeah. Yeah. So, it's nice to come to you in front of me that are like, um, I'm tired. Well, you know, I'm not going to go that night. Like, that night, I'm going to be sick.

Like, I am in every night. But it's sweet that he did it. It's so good. Oh, wait. So it's future.

You haven't done it yet. Yeah.

“He just bought tickets to go see job breaker.”

That's awesome.

And the, you know, 20 something your old George was like, you put it on on the radio today.

And I got really excited. Yes. That's excited. Yeah. Okay.

We're back. We did go see job breaker. And it was incredible. So I brag now that I know the drummer. You know that.

That's right. He's from the Bay Area. They're from the Bay Area. Yeah. I feel like job breaker is just the coolest band.

Oh, my God. Everybody loves them. They're just, they're just so cool. Yeah. Their musicians musicians.

Totally. They're individually very cool people. Yeah. So it was incredible. They're great life.

Okay.

“So originally we entitled this episode garden party.”

But if we were naming it today, there's so many other choices. You could have pulled from the vintage DNA. That's a good one. I can't trust my neck was pretty good. My favorite staff infection.

This one is good of you. When Karen's a little not right. Gayle being very polite in saying I was a little not right. A little not right. Still the shame burns.

10 years later. Yeah. I read about it. It's weighing you down. Today's the day.

I purged this shame. And the mouse is innocent. Yeah. Always. Well, that's this weeks episode of rewind.

Let's take a bite from 2018. All right. Thanks for listening. You guys. Thanks for once again.

Going through that with us. We have had it up to here with not going through this with you. Because we love it so much. It's very fun. It's a very fun job.

And on our two year anniversary. Thank you, honey. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'm so fucking lucky.

This is the best ever. It's crazy lucky. Wonderful. Yeah. Thanks, everybody.

Thanks, Steven. Well, thank you more. In six months. Yeah. And when you burned it.

When you've fucking been through the shit. Like we have. The real shit.

When you finally fuck the government.

Yeah. We need you too. Elvis knows. He's been here from the fucking beginning. He was he was here before us.

Yeah. Yeah. He'll be here after us. He will remain after we have gone. Yep.

Is that it? That's it. All right. Well, then stay sexy. And don't get murdered.

Bye. Elvis. What cookie? Yeah. Yeah.