Welcome to Response Abel Parenting.
The podcast that shows you how to parent an alignment to your emotions, needs, and goals
“versus your programming, bad advice and let's face it, outdated strategies that just don't work.”
You'll get in the trenches support on nervous system and emotional regulation, critical mindset shifts, stronger communication strategies, and more.
In this podcast, you'll gain transformational tools that take you from reacting to every frustration, to responding with clarity, regulation, and finally setting the example you desire for your kids. I'm Becky Jennings, your new parenting coach, and this is the Response Abel Parenting Podcast. Let's get into it.
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode.
I'm going to fumble my way through this one. As I'm recording this, it is February 2nd of 2026. And if you have access to social media, the news, a radio, a podcast, I am sure you are well aware of the information and the chaos that has been unfolding over the last several weeks.
Specifically, the hardest hitting 3 million Epstein files that dropped on January 30th, that outline horrors in which a legit horrors, we are allegedly looking at these documents.
“A legit horrors that have happened to children, and I think for the most part, we all agreed that the atrocities were there.”
And that they needed to be held accountable. I don't believe we even knew nor could father them. And as a result of the intensity of it and just the, I'll leave it at intensity, it can leave us feeling crippled with what to do or say as a result. And leave us feeling completely panicked about the state of where everything is. It can leave us with a deep rage and anger. So we are witnessing an odd juxtaposition of revelations from the past and the horrors from the past that allegedly were committed. Real time we are watching them unfold in Minneapolis, Minnesota as we are watching ice agents chase down children in freezing cold temperatures.
Leave them in handcuff them and snow. We are watching in real time ice agents use five year olds as bait to get their families to come out.
“We are watching in real time the murder of our own citizens and it is shaking the foundation in a way. I don't know if we were prepared for I think we all knew it had to get super bad in order to get better.”
And I understand that I am speaking from a white married woman's perspective that lord knows we need in their white woman talking right now. I am coming from a place of it is obvious that our knowledge and our I guess just the programming that we have received the hard to put into words because while we are not condoning we have been complicit and we we have watched these things go on for so long and maybe just not prioritized or maybe not seen the magnitude of how it affects and that can leave us feeling incredibly guilty helpless sad angry frustrated trade there's a lot going on for parents in the United States parents all over the world right now.
Not going to pretend to be an expert on politics I am certainly not going to pretend to be an investigative journalist I am certainly not going to pretend to be any of those things and I am simply speaking as a mother to other mothers who feel like it is impossible to continue without feeling like this rage this deep sadness this and by the way. My god is his complex so complex we all knew things were bad I don't know if anyone knew how bad unless you were inside unless you had additional information it is a level of darkness that is incomprehensible to imagine like I said I'm going to fumble my way through most of this but I want to offer some.
I want you to start with noticing what you are feeling in your body noticing ...
Where you are feeling this and notice what your inclination is to do afterwards what I have noticed is I feel a deep sense of dread combined with rage panic combined with fear and this overwhelming feeling of being out of control.
“Now when my son passed away in 2019 I noticed that one of my coping strategies in the face of that experience was to try to control as many things as I could in order to keep both of my.”
I'm sorry I might one living son and then once I had my other child I also noticed the deep desire to control control control because control makes us feel safe control makes us feel like nothing can really be that bad because we are in control.
So I want you to notice what you are doing when you feel the sensations afterwards in your body because my goal here is to give you some tools to step out of.
The panic the chaos the frustration the rage the disappointment the fear the control. So that we don't take the stimulus that is coming at us at such a rapid pace that we can't digest each thing there is not enough time to digest there is not enough time to.
“Understand before the next one hits us and that is intentional and it is important to know that in order to control their needs to be confusion and so there is so much flying out us at all times and that is strategic.”
I digress when we feel these very necessary nervous system cues being thrown our way that is important for us to listen to we have to listen to what is going on in our bodies because it is telling us something these signals are telling us this does not feel okay because it is not okay. Anger is telling you you do not like what you are seeing and aggression that we are trying to shove down right we are trying to shove that aggression down so that it doesn't come out onto our children but aggression is a life force energy in all of us.
And aggression can be used negatively and positively aggression is how we take that anger and we move ourselves from the place that we are in right now that we do not like to a place that is better for us and aggression is what takes us there. And aggression can be positive can be quite positive aggression we say this all the time like we are so proud of that ball player for attacking the ball driving to the hoop pushing to the goal line that's aggression when we feel anger in our bodies that is in alert to us that we are dissatisfied we do not like it is not safe to be experiencing what we are experiencing and seeing and witnessing and absorbing.
That aggression is telling us that we need to move we need to move from this place that is not okay to a place that is better and safer for all and guilt.
“If you are feeling guilt in this moment that is a sign that you are not acting in your values and guilt is that nudging to move you back into alignment with the values that you hold important in your life.”
This is such an incredible chaotic time in history to decide how you individually as a person show up and meet the moment.
Well, the fear is real the challenge comes in the fact that yes all of it is where there's no there's fire right we're talking about an overreach in surveillance in government I mean you see things all over like it's so much and it can feel like you don't know what to take action on first and again there is specific reasons for that confusion.
This is an opportunity for you to look inside and say to yourself what are my...
But we freeze because how do I show up to my son's basketball game and cheer him on as a 12 year old boy gets thrown to the snow and handcuffs the juxtaposition and the psychotic nature of the world that we're living in right now can feel too much for parents.
And we need to be more aware than ever about how the external is affecting the way that we show up to our children.
I have noticed that my fuse is shorter because of all of the unrest all of the chaos that I'm wrestling with and all of the information that I am trying to hold and decipher and understand in one moment.
“Confusion is important in order to remain in power the more confused we are the more we don't know what to do the more we can't mobilize the more they continue to be able to move.”
So we need to be more aware of those initiatives through in ways that we were blind to because we were distracted because we were confused they're so many things happening right now this week in Congress that could change the face of the United States and we are so confused as to what to do. If you are feeling certain things about certain atrocities set your sights on that figure it out get the right details so you can use the aggression inside of your body to make positive change towards what you want to see call Congress.
You don't like what you see call email if you can support a certain group who is actually taking action in person and you are unable to do that because of whatever circumstances and this is no there are so many things we can't do as the caregivers of our families there are so many things we want to do but we can't do because we still have to take care of our children.
And what can you do what can you do can you sign something can you call someone can you make a meal and deliver it somewhere can you teach your kids in an age appropriate way.
How you are going to show up can you show the values that you believe in to your kids in some way around what hurts you the most in this we have so many options right now to choose from.
To show our children the wrong and the right we have so many options at this moment in history to say this is what's happening and this is what we as a family are going to do.
“What actions can you take I think it is absolutely critical more than ever for parents to ground themselves into their family routine and rituals now more than ever using regulation tools around the clock.”
So that the external that is bombarding your nervous system does not influence an impact the way that you are treating the relationships inside of your house. We again became so crystal clear to me I was so on edge and so sick and that I found myself nitpicking my husband in ways in patterns that were more extreme than I probably would have ever done.
“I was able to recognize that and say that like this is in large part a response to what I'm feeling internally and I think it's so important for us as parents to allow the feelings that we're having inside of our body.”
I think it is to be real to have somebody to talk to to have somebody to anchor with and then from there do not let that stop right there then take action. That feels aligned to the values that you feel are being ripped apart dance savage he was an activist and author and during the height of the AIDS crisis he said we bury our friends in the morning we protest in the afternoons and we danced all night.
That kept us in the fight because it was a dance that we were fighting for so...
That tells us we are taking action aligned with our values it is the dance that keeps us grounded in the midst of chaos it is the dance that is the revolution because we are saying you will not take my connection to humanity you will not take my connection to my kids you will not take and destroy all the joy that is allowed and granted all of us.
“So yes feel sad feel rage feel anger feel confused feel that in the morning mourn the loss of what we are witnessing across the nation.”
Orn it feel it allow that feeling to exist do not suppress it do not shy away from it and then allow that to drive you that aggression inside of you to drive you to take action whether it is protest there are so many ways to protest you don't have to be it on the street. There are so many ways to protest use that energy to take action aligned with the values you hold dear and then dance dance with your kids embrace your kids love on your kids her then you have ever loved send that energy out into the world send that energy into the classroom with your kids send that energy out.
“And let it radiate as far and as big as we can possibly allow it to happen there is so much power there and if you can set your sights feeling so out of control right now and you can set your sights on controlling that for yourself.”
I mourn in the morning I protest in the afternoon and I dance in the evening and if that is all you can control that is powerful there are so many things that are probably going to unfold that are going to shock us even more in the coming weeks in the coming months. So it is without a doubt incredibly important to build this resilience inside of yourself by taking care of your nervous system setting your sights on the things that are most important to you in this moment to live out your values harder than you had ever in the past and to surround yourself in community so that you're not doing this alone.
So this doesn't feel like you are being swallowed alive and there is no use there is no what is it matter because it matters more than I think it has ever mattered before so this is your invitation how are you going to mourn how are you going to protest and how are you going to dance.
Thank you for being here. Can I be super real with you and tell you a personal story a few years back my son the whole reason why I do the job I do today was having one of those fiery moments.
He was talking back demanding it be his way he was refusing to listen to any of our solutions and the moment was getting really intense. He has been looked at me and said well you know all the parenting stuff fixed this. I completely froze all the scripts from the books I read all the strategy from the podcast I listened to completely disappeared from my brain in that moment. But based on the volume of challenges that we were having with our strong will ADHD son. I knew I had to figure out a different way because panicking in the moment and grasping at anything only to not follow through at all and end up yelling just wasn't working.
“From this experience I developed a repeatable easy to remember an easy to follow system that literally works with every single triggering moment.”
I can a test to it is there are many in my life. Now I can show up the way I want. I can communicate in a way that actually resonates with my strong will child.
If this sounds like a solution for what's happening in your home, take these next two steps. Number one watch the free training about my three wiring process and show notes and then number two book your free call on that call we will talk about what's happening in your home and you will get a customized solution that works best.
That works best for you.
Thank you for listening to the response able parenting podcast. If you'd like what you heard please take a moment to read review and subscribe.
“If you know someone who would benefit from this podcast, I'd be honored if you'd share this episode with them until next time. Know that you are enough. You are capable.”
You've made it through all of your hardest days and we will keep growing on this parenting journey together.
This podcast was produced by Kim Kelty and myself, Mackie Jennings, and edited by the Kelty method, branding and podcasting. [MUSIC PLAYING]
