Stitch vs Yoda

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Thank you. Now on with the show. From the brains behind brainson, it's Smash Boom Best. The show for people with big opinions.

Small, blue, and ElvisFan in a powerful force of destruction.

The other is small, green, a teacher, and powerful with the force. It's Stitch vs. Yoda. Moving in on a wave of enthusiasm for Team Stitch is comedy, writer, and Lego Master, Sam Succeary. I'm going to leave the audience in stitches, and I'm going to leave Peter in stitches.

Oh yeah. Coming in hot from a galaxy far, far away, it's after comedian and story pirate, Peter McNurney for Team Yoda. Oh, mess with Yoda, you shall not. Everyone's favorite two-foot sorcerers in the house.

And here to judge this extra terrestrial throwdown is Frankie from Rockaway Queens. Frankie loves sushi, Broadway, all things Marvel and has a freckle on his eye. Welcome Frankie. Hello. So Frankie, tell us about your eye freckle.

My eye freckles. So one day, my mom and dad took me to the doctor at the eye doctor, and they did like scan some of my eyes and things, and it turns out I had a freckle on my eye. That's so cool. Can you see it from the outside?

No. So it's a secret freckle. No, it's not secret, because I tell it a lot. It could be secret, but you choose it not to be. Very cool.

How did you first get into Marvel?

“When I was little, I liked Marvel and Lego sets, and that's kind of all you need to”

know, so okay, I love it. So you've listened to the show for a long time. What advice do you have for a debate or today? Whenever a listen to podcasts would get me going, you guys got to be really funny, and after I have logic that rounds up well with how your debate works, just do have well

written debates and good logic compiled to them, and be funny because I want a laugh. Okay. Time to tickle Frankie's funny bone today. It's nothing more intimidating for a comedian than make me laugh now. Be funny.

Let's find out which alien life form Frankie thinks is number one, but first here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds, the Declaration of Greatness, the Microwave, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge Frankie will award points to the team that impresses him

the most, but he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate. listeners, we want you to judge, too, Mark Downier points as you listen, at the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay.

Frankie, Peter, and Sam. Are you ready? Yes. Yes. Indulbitably.

I was genetically engineered and allowed by Mad Scientist to be ready.

ready since now.

“But it's time for the Declaration of Greatness.”

In this round, our debateers will present a well-crafted immersive argument in favor of their side, then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements, with a coin and Sam, your up first. Tell us why Stitch was genetically engineered to win our hearts. Close your eyes and walk with me for a moment.

Don't walk with your eyes closed. Picture this. One day, a super scientist creates a nearly indestructible alien in the lab. This alien has one goal to destroy everything. What kind of creature are you picturing?

Something towering? Scatty. Homeless.

“Well, what have I told you, this alien is none of those things.”

This alien is actually... That's right, this is the origin of Stitch, the blue alien hero of Lilo and Stitch. A bunch of aliens try to destroy him, but he escapes and lands on Earth. There, a young girl named Lilo mistakes him for a dog and adopts him, fun and hijinks ensue.

Now as far as super powerful aliens go, Stitch might be the cutest. Is furry, blue, any kind of resembles a koala, he's got wide eyes, giant ears and a big orish mile, he's just so crudent for free! Stitch might only be around three feet tall, but he really packs a punch. You want to talk about the Force.

Stitch is a Force to be reckoned with. He's incredibly durable because he's bulletproof, fireproof, and can even shape shift. Stitch is also surrifiably "jacked". He can move objects more than 3,000 times his size.

A little blue dude never skips leg day.

Magai is absolutely yolk! Stitch isn't just muscle either, he's incredibly intelligent. He outsmerts the highest level of alien security in minutes. He learns that you're collagely, hula dancing, and the English language, and seconds. That's cool and all, but didn't you say Stitch was designed to destroy everything in the

site? A suit observation, human child who randomly walked into my studio session. "Hey man, did you ever look?" Yes, Stitch was specifically designed to obliterate everything in his path like a true chaos demon.

He basically invented rage baiting, he slobbers and jewels, he snarles and scratches, he shakes his butt at other aliens to mock them.

And it's hilarious, all respect to Yoda, but that wrinkly little green guy never had

the razor comedic genius of Stitch.

“So yes, Stitch was initially extremely destructive, but he evolves, and that's what makes”

him so compelling. After Stitch crash lands on earth, he forms a bond with Lilo. She thinks he can be more than a monster. She's patient with him, and challenges him to create, instead of destroy. Lilo also teaches Stitch the importance of O'HANA.

O'HANA means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. O'HANA is a Hawaiian term that means family of all kinds, whether you share the same DNA, are adopted, or simply found each other. It's about showing care and support to everyone around you. Since Stitch was created in the lab, he has no family.

He's just a lost lonely creature, but through O'HANA, he overcomes his biological need to destroy, and instead finds a family in Lilo and her sister, Nani. This was my family. This little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good Stitch.

Still good. Yoda is certainly impressive, but he sets a nearly impossible standard, inspirational, sure, but hard to connect with. Stitch is powerful too, but he's also deeply flawed.

He tries to be better, fails at times, but always tries again.

So relatable, he's an underdog, well, an under alien pretending to be a dog, and who doesn't

So I'll say it loud, and I'll say it proud, Team Tutanfuffy all the way. Hey, true blue argument there for Stitch.

“Frankie, what's it out to you about Sam's argument?”

You're really good with the emotional moments. You made some good points towards the beginning, and it was a bit, uh, can't be. Yeah, Stitch does look like a gualla. Yeah. And it does.

I liked it. Especially around the emotional part, so I just, if you widened, you would include Elvis, Stitch. I like Elvis, too. There might be time for Elvis Stitch later, okay, Peter.

It is time for your rubuddle. You get 30 seconds to tell us why we should ditch Stitch, and your time starts now. Oh, okay, let's compare two things, absolute agent of chaos. That's going to destroy your home, and you got to take care of it, like an army of toddlers

“destroying your house, or the universe's most powerful and wise creature.”

Who, by the way, also is introduced with a full slapstick routine. They truly comedic character who can turn it on and turn it off in the appropriate context. Oh, flawless, Yoda, for the win. And time. Yeah, I mean, if you think Stitch is bringing chaos to the galaxy, I would like to remind

everybody that Yoda was overseeing the Jedi Order when a Sith Lord overthrew the entire galaxy. So Stitch was created as a monster and got loose and learned to be better. Yoda was at the wheel when the galaxy was taken over by the bad guys. So who really brought chaos to the world?

That's really good. I blame Qui-Gon-Gin. Oh, wow, oh, dare you, oh, dare you, all right. Yoda, we've heard from Team Stitch, now Peter it's your turn to tell us why the greatest Yoda is.

“Now, before we begin, I'd like to tell you about a mystical power by mastering.”

It's an energy that binds the galaxy. It runs through all living things.

It lets users do amazing feats with their mind and it's called the Force.

You thought I was going to say the Force, sorry, that's way out of my league. The Force is kind of like the Force, only different in every single way. Instead of manipulating minds and moving things with your thoughts, the Force lets you tell a good joke. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Peter. Peter McNerny. No, that's not a joke, that's literally just my name. Sorry, I'm still learning, luckily I've got the greatest teacher.

Yoda, punchlines you must work on. Master the end before the beginning you try. Hmm, so why's Master Yoda? Yoda is a tiny green 900-year-old alien. Imagine if you took your level-world grandpa and your favorite elementary school teacher

and a skilled warrior and you put them all in a giant blender, I don't know why you would have that and actually if you did that, you'd get arrested because that's dangerous. And actually, let's forget that. But if you combine them all together in a safe, non-blendery way, you'd get Yoda.

He first appeared to the movie The Empire Strikes Back.

Luke Skywalker was on a swampy planet looking for a Jedi Master when he ran into a troublesome little goblin. Luke tries to shoe him away. But twist, that goblin was the Jedi Master Yoda. Judge a book by its cover.

You must not. Ah, a valuable lesson. Yoda also teaches us that even the smallest can be super powerful. He lifts huge objects with his mind. Does sick backflips.

It takes on whole armies with his lightsaber. It's so fun to see a tiny old creature do all that, but Yoda would rather solve problems with words.

A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense never for attack.

Another lesson? Yes, please. It's exactly why I solve problems with humor. For example, why did the chicken cross the road? Why?

Yes, he was at the crosswalk. Ah, darn it, I forgot to come up with a punchline again.

That's another great thing about Yoda.

“He gives great advice, but then lets people make their own choices.”

Even when he sees they are about to make a big mistake. Because he knows that's how we learn. Also, Yoda is lovable. An empire came out, some critics said he was the best part, and they were right. And that would be a Harrison Ford.

Stitch and Yoda are similar, short, colorful, big ears, but... Guess what? Yoda came first. Stitch is just coasting off of Yoda's lovable style. And speaking of lovable, have you seen Grogu?

A.K.A. Baby Yoda? He's so cute. I love him so much. I want to hug the force right out of him. I know.

Yoda is super powerful. Why? A great teacher. And adorable? What more could you...

Distabate ends now. Oh no, Darth, Darth. Darth.

Oh, actually, who are you?

Darth, Stephen, fate is my cousin, and I'm stopping this nonsense. Oh. All right, well in that case. Peter, use the force. Huh?

Oh, right.

“But I've got to think of the punchline first, like Yoda said.”

Hmm. Got it. Hey, Darth, Stephen. Hmm? Why?

Did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why? To get to the dumb dumb's house. Huh?

Knock knock? Who's there? It's me the chicken. Huh? I'm the one who lived here.

Wait, what does that mean? I'm the dumb dumb. Is because it's my house? Oh, Peter. That's funny.

You can't be. Ah, I'll leave peace for me. Dumb dumb. I did it. Thanks to some help from the best teacher ever.

A YODA. A Yoda. In a caratable, a lovely, lovely decoration of greatness there for Yoda.

“Frankie, what's it out to you about Peter's argument?”

I like how it wasn't like a similar argument in more of a story. That was really, that was really good. And it was really funny, especially with the farce. I felt like that was a space for all his reference. Yeah.

That was huge. The shorts. Great ass shorts. Be with you. And I definitely, like, reference to a柔, he's cool.

Yeah. It was very good. And I'm torn, honestly. This is a tough one. All right.

Sam, you get 30 seconds to say, no duh to Yoda and your time begins right now.

So what's always fascinating to be about the Star Wars movies, especially after the

prequel's came out, is that we see Yoda try to fight evil power. And it didn't work. But then, like you said, Yoda is very wise. So why didn't Yoda train up Leia instead of Luke? Because Leia doesn't fight fire with fire.

She's using, she's a senator. She's also secretly part of the rebellion. She's wise. She's using ways of influencing the good in people through words. So why didn't Yoda train Leia?

She's also a Jedi. She's as much a Jedi as Luke. And Luke is just him. Okay. Yeah.

I'll tell you why. Because Luke put in the effort. He took the X-wing two-day goba and splashed in that water and he showed up. And Yoda is there to let people make their own choices be they good or bad. Yes.

Luke did crash his, his space plane. That's true. It's true. That's un, a deniable. Okay.

Frankie, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best. And at one point to the rebuttal that one you over, you get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you laugh?

Did another team bring stronger arguments? A larger point, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision? Yes. I have.

Oof. Very good. Sam and Peter. How are you two feeling so far? Boy.

I'm amped up. I'm excited. It's electric. Bezapp. Bezapp.

I feel the electricity through the cables. All right. It's time for a quick break. Charge up your lightsaber or flip your Elvis record over. And we'll be right back with more smash boom missed.

You're listening to state of debate home to region rhetoric and awe inspired argumentation.

Hey, they're Taylor or should I say, "Ooooooooooooooooooooooo."

Todd? You good? I sure am. It's a full moon tonight, so I'm getting into the spirit. Oh, Todd, well, this doesn't actually howl at the full moon.

So, I've been perfecting my howl for nothing? That's real. Rough.

“But your lunar know how has reminded me of a logical fallacy I overheard?”

A logical fallacy is a weak argument that makes it a bit easy to beat. Wow. You can really see all the stars once you leave the city. I know, and the moon looks so bright out here. It's incredible.

But that's the power of cheese for you. What? You didn't know? The moon is made of cheese, either monster or a white cheddar. Dave, the moon isn't made of cheese.

That's an old fairy tale. Beth, I think I know what I'm talking about. I'm a cheese monger. I make and sell cheese for a living. Just because you're a cheese expert doesn't mean you know about the moon.

Yeah. But it does mean I know about cheese, which the moon is made of. Wow.

“When the moon hits your eye, that's a fallacy.”

Yes, specifically the appeal to authority fallacy. That's when you believe something must be true because an expert supports it. Just because Dave knows a lot about cheese doesn't make him a moon expert. All this cheese talk is making me hungry. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh yeah. Let's fun do it. And we'll see you next time on. Steve, oh, to be. Smash, boom, best.

You are listening to Smash Boombath's time, your host, Molly Bloom. But I'm your judge, Frankie, and we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Like this one. Hi. My name's Harriet, and I'm from Dunspra in Western Australia.

My debate idea is see this land. Nice to be the planetary proportions. We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Harriet thinks she went. And now back to Stitch versus Yoda.

Get ready for round two. It's the. Micro round.

“Sam and Peter, you'll each get three chances to make a micro argument backed by a cool”

fact. Sam started things off last round, so Peter, you got to go first this time. Let's hear your first fact. You know, it makes sense that Yoda is so loveable because he is literally a puppet. Yes.

A puppet like Kermit Ganzo and Miss Piggy. The original Yoda puppet was made by Jim Henson and his team, the people who made. That's my straight, the Muppet Show, and the actor who gave Yoda his voice is none other than Frank.

He did the voice of such incredible characters as Miss Piggy, Fuzzy Bear and Grover heard

of them. He was the one who did Miss Piggy. Yeah. Yes, he was. Oh, Kermit.

So Yoda has the perfect puppet pedigree. Hmm. Oh, you want to talk about voices. Stitch was originally supposed to be a silent character, but the movie is director. His Sanders did such a good job recording like a scratch version of Stitch's audio, which

is basically what they just kind of use for storyboarding, and everybody loved it, and they couldn't find anything better than that because, you know, it was the director's own passion going into the character. Oh, yeah. Well, guess what, Yoda's confusing vibe in that movie, boy, it's on purpose.

When they were designing the character, George Lucas, the guy who made Star Wars, he wanted

Yoda to come off, let's like, oh, powerful big guy, and more like a little dolly llama,

you know, someone who you underestimate. He wore shabby clothes and he lived in a swamp to teach Luke to pay attention and respect even the lolliest of people, more great life lessons from Master Yoda. Yes, please. Stitch resonates with audiences and Stitch literally resonates.

Stitch can play a record, just by putting one of his cute little claws onto the record groove, and then opens up his mouth and bam, he's a victorola. Speaking of records, Yoda has been honored with maybe the the most incredible prize in pop culture. No, it's not an Oscar.

He was peridied by weird algae. Oh, that's right. Weird algae. Weird algae. Yoda to the tune of the King's lolla, Yoda, oh, I don't eat Yoda, it does not get cooler

I didn't listen to that for now, I want to eat so good, you got to listen to it.

“That one got me, okay, I got to go out and left fields here, I don't have to come back”

to that one. All right, okay, this is really maybe just some more Yoda trivia than Stitch trivia. But, okay, so you know how George Lucas directed Star Wars, George Lucas's earliest, like his second movie ever was American graffiti, which is about a bunch of teens and Modesto California and driving cars around.

So you know how Grogu loves playing with that little metal ball inside of the the razor

crest and man does always like, don't play with that, give me back that little metal

ball because it goes on like the stick shift, the razor crest. So in American graffiti, what's his name Milo, the guy who drives the really fast red hot rod, when he picks up this little girl by accident, she is also like, I want to play with the little stick shift knob and he's like, don't play with that kid and by the end of

“the movie when they become friends, he gives her the stick shift knob and it's I think that's”

where they got that thing for Grogu, that that I actually really like that, that's really cool, neat, yeah, that's a great argument for Yoda, yeah, it's a great argument for American graffiti or Mel's Diners, so you both get one, okay, I wasn't all those facts, I learned a lot, I don't know about you Frankie, but Frankie, which facts were your favorite? Um, I liked Frank Oz and Jim Henson and how they worked on Yoda, um, on Stitcheside,

you made some good references to the movie, which I feel really, um, sold me over, but what really I did, it also, um, Yoda's design, I liked Yoda's design the reference of the director, so yeah, okay, a lot of good facts there. But Frankie, only one of them can get a point, didn't, whoa, that's so tough, okay, whole tight, we'll be right back with more debate after this.

Want smash boom best without the ad breaks, join Smartie Pass and get an ad free feed of this and all the other brains on universe shows, plus you'll get to do virtual hangs with me and the crew and discounts on merch, sign up at brainson.org, thanks.

We're back and it's time for our third round, the super stealthy sneak attack.

This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's attack is called running for mayor, your side is delivering a speech to a city or town of your choosing about why they should elect your side mayor. You could choose to embody Yoda or Stitch or someone else campaigning on their behalf. It is Sam's turn to start us off.

You're going to have 60 seconds max, you can go shorter than that if you want. Let's hear your rousing campaign speech for Stitch. Brothers and gentlemen, I'll come to you with my proposition that we are all ohana and as ohana, this city must work together and that will be very nice for everyone and that means that if somebody isn't feeling good, we all take care of them because ohana means no

one gets left behind or forgotten and if somebody is doing really well, they help everybody outside because our rising tide lifts all floating spaceships, this world is getting a little hell to do. That's what that's about. You can stop whatever you want. Oh, that's it. That's just going to rest now. Oh, Stitch, that was beautiful. It's Stitch, we just see though we all love Stitch so

Stitch, you are cute and fluffy and everyone can see the campaign posters. They say ohana with a, you know, graphic silhouette of Stitch, Shantan. Yeah. All right, Peter, it's your turn. Please try to win our votes for Yoda's Mayoral candidacy. New leadership, this small, uh, village needs electric wheelchair. There is a dark force creeping through the village and it is the distinct lack of composting. Yes, little green bins we need to put in fruit scraps.

“Methane gas is released when buried in landfills. You should compost good for the environment it is.”

I also believe in, uh, uh, child care for for three euros. Oh, you don't even shout. Yes. Wow. And these aren't the drawers you're looking for. Come on. Wow. I really like both of them. And I drew like a little drawing of a guy sitting down with his hands up. That's a mean

Wow. Highest praise. The absolute cinema meme. All right, reporter from the, uh, from the, the Star Wars daily news. Can I ask a follow up question to Yoda? Sure. Yes.

“Do you support child care for children who may be, you know, still babies, but also 80 years old?”

Yes. Uh, we all know the dangers of training children to. Oh, but yeah, 50 for one of whatever species I am. That's like fresh out of the oven. Um, yeah, do you, uh, Peter as a reporter do any questions you'd like to ask a stitch over there? Uh, yes, a stitch. While Yoda was speaking, how many things did you destroy? Uh, well, you know, if I just stuffed it into my mouth, and I can still regret to tell it. And mostly one piece isn't destroyed.

That is the question. See, thoughts here. All right, Frankie, it is time for you to vote. In a sense, you're going to choose which side is going to get a point. A please keep it a secret.

“Shouldn't be this difficult. It is very difficult. Who is going to get your point?”

Have you made your decision? Yes. Wonderful. Then it's time for the the final six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Peter, please tell us why we should side with the little green guy. Nothing cooler is there. Then Jedi. Mm, very nice. Sam, you are up. Please make your final pitch for stitch. Yeah, I like that incredible work. All right, Frankie. It is time to award a final point for

the final six. Have you made your decision? Yes. Frankie, are you ready to declare one side the smash boom best? Yes. Okay, drum roll, please. And the winner is stitch. Call up, I'm not.

My career is over. I've never been so hard-broken in my whole life. Oh, man. Well,

Frankie, please tell us what was the thing that pushed it over the edge for you? It was really tied between the first and last one. Because they were both really good and it was just honestly like the flip of a coin for me. And sometimes it was just really hard and I had to pick one. Yeah. And I think I was struggling a lot with the sneak attack because I like both of your voices a lot. And I think I just like Elvis stitch singing more. So this was so much fun debating with you Peter.

Yes, your Yoda was fantastic. And I was terrified when you brought out the weird Al Yoda song because I just I had no counter for that and I didn't know you were if you were going to bring it up and you did and and really that that shook me. That shook me like a photon torpedo going into a ventilation shaft. Serious design flaw. Yeah. Sam, I am humbled

incredible work. I must say the thing that really got me is yes, you know, stitch is an agent of chaos,

“but ultimately he tears a part of expectations so that he can bring us all together. And that's what”

you've done today here. I'm shattered by the loss. But I've gained a new family and for that I am grateful. Oh, hona. Oh, hona. Oh, hona. Oh, hona. Well, that is it for today's debate battle. Frankie crowns stitch the smash boom best. But what about you? Head to smashroom.org and vote to tell us who you think won. This episode was produced by me Molly Bloom, Sandin Totten and Mark Sanchez. We had sound designed by Rachel Breeze in Mark Sanchez. We had engineering help from Mitch Racken.

Our announcer is Marlee Feuerberger Auto and we want to give us special thanks to Austin Cross and hit our coffin. Peter, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today? I would like to give a shout out to Mr. Olson, Molly and my band director for my school and also the story pirates

as always. And how about you Sam any special shout outs? Yeah, I'm going to give a special shout out to

my favorite Yoda size creatures out there, Calvin Casper, Phoebe and Gus. And how about you Frankie Annie's special thanks? My dad for picking me up from school early to club here and record it. My sister who really loves stitch and is really amazing and she was made me happy to come to this debate. It will be very happy to see that stitch one. My friend Nate, who is a Star Wars fan,

family daddy thumbs up. It's Jonathan James Road. Before we go let's check in and see who

“Harriet thinks should win the land versus seat debate. I think see she'd win because there's parts”

of the sea, humans haven't discovered yet and there's animals of the sea, humans haven't discovered.

If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge or if you're any age and

“you have an idea for a knock-down drag-out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us online.”

And if you're a fan of the show and want to keep it going, head to smartypass.org to subscribe.

We'll be back next week with a new smash boom best episode. Base versus bass. Bye!

“May the force be with you. Bye-bye! Tutors!”

Well, I just want to say fun fact. I also have a freckle in the back of my eye. Yeah, just do freckles. I also have a freckle in my eye. The camera's off, right?