Ep 13: Strike Force Five Returns to Celebrate Stephen Colbert

I think one of the things I want to miss most is young people who are good at...

jobs and who you met and they were first out of college or something like that.

“I was talking to one of my producers of the day.”

He's worked for me for 20 years and he started working for me for just 21 years. And he's great. He's great. But he has no idea what the rest of him is like. He's realized that this is not Shobas, he's actually, he's been 20 years and almost entirely

been not completely non-Shobas. Yeah, so he was also a Shobas business, we aren't like Shobas, this is. Lauren once told me that Steve Martin said to him what he was like, you know, Steve was like, you know, if you're tired, you know, you don't hang out with young people anywhere. He's like, it's just people, that's it, he goes, you only hang out with young people because

you have this job. And you're not having dinner on Tuesday without about 30 year old. So here we are, close to that. This is an unlucky episode 13. No.

Right, 45. Please. No. With the bad luck. Okay.

Rolling. Alright, well, we got Jimmy Fallon, we got John Oliver.

We've got Seth Meyers, I'm Jimmy Kimmel, and the man of the hour, Mr. Steven Cole-Best.

Steven Cole-Best. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. And I also, before we begin, I want to thank our sponsor, Mint Mobile, who has made a sizable donation to World Central Kitchen, Stephens preferred charity, and he's been

raising money for World Central Kitchen over the last couple of months, auctioning off the items. And you could still, what do you think is one for the most? What do you think about one for the most? What's your last show?

Yep. How much? $110,000 to take into account. How are you feeling right now? What do we, right now?

We are, you and I, we were all on the eighth to last show. Like, in other words, like, we had eight more shows. Now we have seven more shows. She has the four more shows. Yeah.

Is it sinking in? Is it sunk in? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's super real. Yeah.

Like, it's so cool. It's so cool. Yeah. I have sunk into it, actually. It's a pleasure.

We like, yeah. No, I, I, I, what I've said is that the emotion has the rising tide of emotion has reached my chin.

“And now the only thing to do is I take a deep breath and like swim like hell to make 21st.”

Has the, have the emotional exchanges you've had with your staff made it more difficult to put the show on every night? Um, I would say the emotion, not the emotional exchanges. The emotional exchanges, I tend to have after the show, because there's no use to having human emotions during the day.

Thank you. I've said that all the time, you know, all you got to do is just push that beyond the work process. You can shut shit down and just barrel to the grade. Oh, I got a switch.

I can flip in my heart. And then I can watch any of you die slowly and I know that's fast. That's what I'm talking about. You can bring that. You bring that.

What energy do you think? I don't think, I don't think it was capable of screaming that. Yes. Hi. Yes.

No, I, I do have a switch. No, I do actually have a switch I can turn off. Like, I've had to do the show when shitty things have happened in my life. Because you got to do the show. That's, I mean, I have a big fan of the show must go on.

Not because the show must go on like there's some contractor, some sort over my head, but because that's what I do shows. And the show is going to show wants to happen and I want to be part of the show. So that, that kind of gets you through. You did literally do a show while your body was trying to kill you as well.

I was starting to think. I was starting to think. I was starting to think. My leg was showing up a while. Yeah.

From my first appendix. Yeah. That's true. They did happen. That did happen.

That did two shows actually. The two show night. I did two shows. And when the whole commercial breaks, my producers would stand between me and the audience. So I could weep without seeing without being seen by the audience.

That's never a good sign.

The audience doesn't feel like laughing much because they care about how we feel. You do? If you like look sick or hurt, it doesn't help. And yours audibly burst. It was like a, it was a very loud sound.

Like that. It was kind of funny. It was comedy. Yeah. It was funny.

Yeah. Yeah.

“The best thing about that doing two shows with the first appendix is no one on your”

staff can call and sick ever again. Yeah. That's right. Never. I feel bad.

Really? I think it was the appendix. Bad. I think Dinello would. Dinello would.

Bit of a headache. Don't. Not actively. Don't. He'll take on.

Yeah. There must be tough. Don't take on the throat. Heavy kept on. Heavy is that you're going to go to the hospital.

I'm just going to know. I couldn't stop shaking. I was called. Riser Riders, which is a shake you get from blood poisoning where every muscle in your body starts twitching and you have no control over it.

And then what you want is to not to reach your diaphragm. Yeah. So I just go to go sleep and she's like, you're going to go to the hospital.

I said, no, I was coming home and then I'd pulled up in the front of the hosp...

because she called my driver. It goes just taking the hospital. And she met me there and they gave me more pain. It was the bus.

And I don't like not as a lifestyle, but it was worth having your appendix first.

Just to know. Yeah.

“Do you think you'll do more morphine now that your time, essentially out of work?”

I will tell you something else. This is semi-serious. And that I had big plans to drink a lot. Oh, whenever I were talking, you know, whenever I wasn't on this train that we're on every day.

I've gotten so bad at it. I'm in 61 now. And I have one drink in the next nine. I'm a wreck. I thought I'd get better as I go over it.

Yeah. Much worse. Drugs are coming back. I think with Wolfing these, you don't have that long angle. Yeah.

I want to tell you how to live your life. So next day, you take a little more morphine. That's right. Now, I should say there's Wolfing's response, so if they give you $10,000, well, $10,000, $10,000.

Minced morphine. Delicious. Delicious. Yeah. Delicious.

Are you tired of yourself and people asking you questions in the past couple

months? I a little bit like a college senior. Yeah. Yeah. Like, so what are you going to do?

Yeah. What are you doing? I'm going to do a teach for America. I don't know. Yeah.

I got, I got. I don't know. All of my mind, like 95% of my mind every day, to do this show. And till it's over, I don't know, I've gone into, I've had meetings, like I've had some really nice meetings with people, like, we want to be the sea of gold business.

Yeah. Like, that's wonderful. What is that? Could you tell me, please, did you want to do the show on CPS at the end

“of the theater, because that's the business I'm in?”

Yes. And you think there's a probably paid actors that baby doll hired to make it feel a little bit. Yeah. Or maybe.

Yeah. I don't want to ask which one. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Yeah. And we say doing this all together is very nice and really speaks to the diversity of the podcast. Yes.

Yeah. For people who are video like that. Sure. And just the suits and experience of the table. John, you're the white guy.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm certainly the white taste guy. I know. That's really fun.

So, this is the mad. We're having Kevin's Con from German. Irish? Yeah. Like Eastern European.

Yeah. German, Eastern European. They, the Germans really thought more of that. So, yeah. I'll say, let's just say not German.

So much of Eastern Europe had to be so clear about, do you know the German part? Yeah. English? English to the bunk. Italian Irish.

Irish. There you go. My ancestors. And you said German was like, oh, I would have made things a lot easier. Stephen, what's your plan for Monday after you're done?

Last Memorial Day, the weekend, that weekend, my son graduates college on the 18th or the 19th. What's Monday? The 19th? I think it's right.

No, it's 18th. My son graduates college on the 18th, my show ends in the 21st, my brother gets married on the 23rd. Oh, wow. So, I'm kind of Sam, which between things that are like a little more important, you

know, a little perspective. And then we come back and clean out the office. I like, you know, I just got to, like, we got to get a shit out of here. We're all like no one's got a job after that night. I think the next day everyone's fired.

Like I don't think there's really, I don't think there's, I think maybe the crew has some time to clear out like the studio or the staff all has to be gone.

“I think that, well, that was the same with Lenrin too, right?”

Yeah, that was a little bit of a little bit of a next day. They've got to shoot you outside. Yeah, I should, they should, they threw us a piece on Thursday. But no, we're all, we're all have to be out by the next front. He left.

He was busy. I'm sorry. I have to tell the thing. Well, it's cool. They learned a lesson from that.

You have to be out in one week's time of the whole building. I think the set has longer or the crew has time to wrap. But I've had to start tearing shit out immediately. I know my staff is not paid like the next day, like they're out and then, and so I'm I'm already packed.

I've already packed my office. And this is going to be a Stephen Halloween this building. No, I think it's, I think he's involved. Yeah. It's not doing, yeah, I'll be right here.

Oh, I'm actually moving in. Oh my God. Hang her, they're going to stack the planes on stage. It's, it's spirit Halloween where the airplanes dress up like other airlines. Oh, I should.

Yeah. It's actually coming. This, this, this will talk a lot about you for this strike force five. Could we talk about some more interest? Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Episode. And also, they're like the special edition of, the strike force wives are coming back.

For you. Yeah. Three, four. Yeah. Okay.

So I will say Kate will be just before I came in. And I think I got it right, and that was that same feeling of mother. No, no. No, this was much better. Okay.

I think. Yeah. But you were, you were really confident last time. To be fair. But this is everyone's wife, I asked, because the one thing we all, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid. So I got, I asked.

Nobody thinks the problem is the wives.

No, nobody thinks that's the problem.

The problem went wrong or anything.

“I think I have to be part of the problem.”

It's not even, it's not even the whole, it's the whole story. I want to draw my, you actually hosted really well. You just produced it terrible. Yeah. This is one of the things I now have.

You're much older now, the producer will hold the host. What do you think? I was giving out producer, but yeah, it was the wing. I wanted to talk to the producer, and I was going to give it to you, it was going to be the scene called Babis.

Right? What is that? It's one of this. That's about that. Yeah.

And this, I think, when the mustache shows up, you know it's a fake thing. Oh, they ever did that for Hitler? You do that. I mean, you do that. This is a fake.

No, no. This is a fake. This is Hitler. This is Hitler. Oh, the fingers too long.

Oh, this is Hitler. This is Hitler. Oh, no. No. No.

Straight. No, that's this. This isn't even my dad. This doesn't sense.

But if you're watching it, it's fun.

Yeah. One of my daughter was a little girl. We'd be, in some place now, it's just beginning to go famous. She'd see some people noticing me, and she'd reach up and she'd put her finger up there. She goes, oh, my dad.

You're okay now. I don't know. This guy. I drew up a little bit. Sorry about that.

Really? You have a cold up here. You have a little? He is. After.

We're also swells up. I've had some work done. And so, well, no, they say if it gets over 55 degrees, the whole face. It's just, just, just cheers off like a cabin glacier. Are you bringing every year?

No, that's like one of those or rings. Yeah. But you do love yourself, and I'm happy that you'll happy with it. What's that? Yeah, I did all the work.

I did all my facial work myself. Wait, you're supposed to bring on your penis? I put my name on my penis. Yeah. Oh, you too.

Okay. You're right. Through the roof.

Mary, I mean, I feel like that's a great joke you just made about yourself.

You know what? Since it's just, I'd love to hear the oral rings read. I said, don't lie. I'm watching. This is Jimmy said, oh, you put that on your finger.

Yeah. You said it earlier in the dressing room that I feel like is particular only two hosts of shows. Oh, yeah. We started talking about something we didn't want other people to hear.

And we weren't even might reflexively set up almost like pledge of allegiance to cover his. We're on the list. We're on the list. I will do that when I'm not in the theater, not at a studio.

I'm somebody. I'm at a wedding or something. I will go. I'll tell you what. Yep.

And by the way, each time we do it, we're not being heard probably. But yeah. That's good. That's good. By the way, the funny thing would be if you heard it great.

Yeah. It was time for that to work.

“I think you do hear it great, because it's hearing a through your chest.”

Yeah. It was saying some very racist things. And he just put his hand right on the cover. Right? Yeah.

The show's patriotism. Not to show his patriotism. Yeah. It's still proud. I don't want to get it.

I don't want to get it. I don't want to get it. But I do feel like putting the hand over my heart makes people clear that I mean it. Well, I talked about an audio guy's, he was wearing one of those shoes that separate the toes.

You know? Yeah, yeah. It's like I was doing some bit and he came in to put the mic on. And then I go, I don't know why I interesting it. You're wearing the shoes, because it's the best, because he goes, help my back.

I'm back. I don't know. I go. Yeah. There's no comfy in there.

Great. I warned my brother's wedding. He left. I go. It's very rude.

It's rather weird. There's ridiculous shoes and didn't help us back. And he can be great. This is the end, my friend pointed it to me. The microphones.

I'm like, "But they look not bad," and he was trying to draw a back paddling on a piece of paper. Like, back paddled, say something nice. I was like, "I totally got busted." He might have met the most interesting human being on earth.

Yeah. Someone who will those really show up for their shoes for their back. I'm guessing he wasn't in the wedding party. I would have loved to hear the sound slap slap for the camera. I was like, "Question."

“I remember when we were the dosia, I was like, "Mommy turned up one day, where is the”

corresponding?" And he, I heard the slapping verse or the shoes. He walked to his office and there was an immediate sense of the meeting. Has to stop. Get out.

Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. He physically took care of the building.

Fucking things off him, right? Absolutely. And they peel them off. The confidence. Yeah.

It's a walk into a place where comedy writers are with those on your feet. And think that that's okay. No. When you get a bad haircut, you can't go into the office for comedians. Yes, so I go, I'm surrounded by comedians.

I can't do this as a goof. They're going to... It's a lesson you shouldn't even have to learn. Yes, right. One of our writers is Mike Scalons, where I take talk to work in the summer.

No. And it's literally now. Every time we mention him on the show, the photo is hidden in the tank time. Yep. Oh, yes.

I've seen that. Literally, it was like a writer's meeting day and just everybody was like, "What did you say?" He was like, "Well, I'm with my people. I love each other."

Then they'll take care of it. I can wear a tank top to work. Yeah. There's no more permanent mistake than the mistake. There is no...

No one gets ridden harder than a comedian in a room with other comedians.

The symbol we used to have for it at Second City, if someone did anything, th...

an anyway mockable, is that the rest of us would go like, "Let's go." Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! 'Cause we were going to ride the bell. Woo! Woo! It's a rodeo.

“What are you going to do about your suits?”

Will you take them all? Originally, they said I couldn't have any of them. Deep did?

Yeah, basically they said I couldn't have any of my suits.

And then we said, "Well, we're just going to sound for charity." And I went, "Okay, you can do that." And then they said, "Yeah, you can have your suits." So I mean, I'm giving them away. Like, I'm giving them away to a bunch of people.

Try to get my boys to come in and get fitted for some suits. Yeah. And I got like 18 tuxitos at this point. Really? Wow.

Because I get a new tuxito every time. Let's have a nice party. Yeah, you're a tuxitos. Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah, that's everyone.

Do we know 18 people? Do we know five people? Do you have a lot of friends? No. I don't think so.

That's right. That's right. And now, now this is about-- And let's see what Nancy said.

“Yeah, I remember when you were recently to be with President Obama, he was a small moment”

where I'd love it when I see the real decade story, if you come out. When he said, "I've got an interesting story," and he said, "We'll see it about that." Oh. I've been really glad to say that, too. Oh, my God.

I've had that in my pocket. I said, "Let the people on my staff all the time you go." It's an interesting story, and I go, we'll see. And I've been waiting to say that to a guest forever, and I couldn't believe it. We're walking down this row, and his library of all the places, like the perfect spot.

And I said, "What's the actual clip?" I was like, "What's the, what's the Harkin' steak fry in in all the Iowa?" It's an interesting story, and I said, "We'll see." And I love it. I love it.

I like it. But I could believe he just delivered that--my other favorite moment of that, where he goes, "Listen, he goes, "Look, I know, you know, when the date comes, and my funeral, I hope whoever gives my eulogy will mention, like the values of like whatever, I have our administration," I said, "I'll remember to mention."

And it did register, and I don't care him at all. Wow. You did a bad impression of all the president. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

Did you miss Jimmy Kim? Yeah, it was pretty hard work. It was hard work for the dumpster, and then the incinerator. Were you an ad, was it? I was a little quick, I was a little quick, though.

I sent it to the picture for the people I was in the picture of me wearing a, the more I Jimmy, the better I feel, which is the first, the person only T-shirt ever produced by ABC. Right. By the way, you didn't remember all the, like, from my birthday, you guys gave me all this,

like, you gave it to me. Obviously, it was a memory of Billy. It was a little bit helpful. But that shirt wasn't one of them. And no, no, no, no, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I can't, yeah, I was, yeah, delighted that

they found that. Yeah, yeah. That was the last time I saw that. I went to the beach and everything. It was literally a photograph of a group of African villagers wearing shirts, it's

the more I, you know, the better I feel, like the Super Bowl loser T-shirt. Yes, they sent them. They sent them. Yeah. Yeah.

Of course. Somehow T-shirt. I forgot to hold it. Feel better? No.

“I will say also, I think I mentioned this the first time I was like, you understand?”

Yeah, there's another host named Jimmy on late night. Yeah. They did a good thing. They did a good thing. What did you register at all?

Yeah. What's kind of generous though, because I also have a good one. When I Jimmy. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. I took credit for it as well. I've got a question for you. How many? No, who?

Do you give me names? How many guests have you interviewed?

And then going back to such a position said never again.

Never have the back. Just give me a number. Not a name. And these double figures. It's probably not double figure.

It's probably not double figures. I mean, there's one immediately from the old show I can think of. I mean, altogether, who's got the most shows you probably, right? I think most shows. How many?

I've got between the two shows. I'm 33 or 3400. And so like, double that for guests probably. And I had a guest on the old show. Somebody would left the Bush administration.

And they were, you know, making the name from his out there. It was like true teller. That was the thing. So they came on my show. And they couldn't have been more amount of time.

They could not have been safer in all their answers. And as soon as the camera turned off, he goes, I'll tell you what's fucked up about this guy. And he starts really laying it out. Why didn't you say that on camera?

That's why you're here. He goes, well, I got to get a job in this town. And I went. That's the first one I've ever said.

That person can never come back.

Because they're not here to actually represent an idea or to be themselves. They're being politicians.

They're being politicians while they're supposedly talking frankly about poli...

It's mostly politicians. Really. I don't really like, I don't necessarily want to talk to like the second male lead on a sitcom. Even though I probably won't, you know, was the second city with him. But there are not many people who've truly disappointed.

I always feel like I'm the pro, they're not the pro.

And I should make this a good experience for them.

“Has there been a guest who was so attractive that you found it distracting?”

I'll tell you who I did not expect to be wildly attracted to. I didn't know what to do with myself is that I did not, because I don't, I don't like this person's work, but I never thought of him as like a bombshell. I could not, I didn't know what to do with my eyeballs when Michelle Williams was on for the first time. She sat down across me and I went, fuck, what's wrong with my head?

I cannot. I better not look directly at her for this entire interview. There was something about her, her vibe, her face, everything. Do you be, if you can, if you're here? She's so beautiful.

Let's see who else can, who do I have trouble with? Like, are you still trying to make beautiful people, right? Yeah. Okay. I used to have a Rachel vice problem.

I will cover. Okay. When Rachel vice would be on the daily show, I would leave the building for fear that I would say something stupid to her. You know, I, like, I feel like I was afraid I would like stand in the hallway and go, "Hi." You know, like, "You're great in the costume, partner."

Has it been weird to find out that this whole time you were her type? Based on this. I'll tell you a quick story about that. You ready? Uh, we were going on the table once a dinner was in front of mine and this guy's going, like,

"Who's your, who's your, who's your, who's your whole pass?" Yeah.

That was a flex that I've never actually been able to match on this guy.

I'll tell you who else is wildly attractive. Um, who is, uh, you know, that, uh, Rebecca Ferguson. Yeah. There are many great, I will say great interview. Great interview.

Because she brings his game. Yeah. This is not a surprise. Every nose all this. Who is hers?

Every doesn't have TV show. Yeah, but she's seeing the guests come here. Come here. I think it's me. That's what he's saying.

What do you say? What do you say? No, what the fuck are you saying? No, no, wait, what are you saying? What are you saying?

What, why, what she need one, she has me. I don't understand. What?

I don't know, I don't like the implications.

Yeah, you know, this might be a good thing. Put the fucking cards. What do you mean? I didn't mean to make this a negative experience. We wanted this to be positive.

It was supposed to be a special guy. Andrew Carfield. Is it? I feel so attractive. Have you not any new kiss, Tim?

Oh, yeah. He kissed me. And he kissed you. Or he did he do it? Hanging upside down.

Dresses Spider-Man? No, but we didn't get her fingers tangled each other's hair. It was really nice. Hey, we kissed today. That's true.

You did. Yeah? I think I would remember that. You know, don't go inside. You're a hard one.

You're my home path. Oh. How many men have you kissed that you'd do? I think it might be. It might be Daniel Craig speaking of Rachel Vice, right?

Yeah, it might be Daniel Craig. That's a good one. He's a stunt. All right. Have you guys ever armed Russell the guest?

No. No. I've armed Russell. and Krasinski, and Josh Brolin. - Be guy. - What's your record?

- X-Zip and 10, yeah. - Zip and 10. - I even hear a choice. - I even will. - Because I think I love it. - I love it.

“- You should have challenged me. - Yeah.”

- You know, arm wrestling. - What do you say? - Mick Levin. - Mick Levin. - Oh, Mick Levin. - Christ's purpose. - Christ's purpose. - I thought, I thought you said, "Make love would be a challenge."

- You guys are like, "Levin, do you have a drink?" - Yeah. - What does that mean? - What does that mean? - And I've done brawl it. - We're 10. Arm wrestling lessons. - I did. - I took arm wrestling lessons to check,

because when Krasinski is back on, I wanted to beat him. So I started working out, and I actually went to one of these, like, professionals, because they're tricks to win. It's not all just force. - And I lost the least. - Less time.

- Okay. - You also, as I recall, were taking dance lessons during the strike. - Right. - During the strike, I was taking tap dancing lessons. - You took how many? - Three.

- Three. - And you gave up. - Yeah. - I'm so, I'm more and more worried about how you're going to handle your talking. - Yeah. - Do you just think that you're having, like, you just like, "How do you think?"

- Arm wrestling, tap dancing? - Yeah. - Taking up hobbies, hopefully, and then you might be like, "A adult ADHD."

“I think that might be, I get very enthusiastic about things.”

I have a boat that I'm building in my basement. It's like, "What is going on with that?" - There's a boat that comes in a kit. >> Yeah. >> And it was the end of the end of the day. >> You're building an article. >> You're building an article.

>> You didn't do it in this basement. >> Yes, he did. >> Yeah, he did. >> He did. >> He didn't do it in this basement. >> Yeah. >> And the cubic kit, and I'm two hours into it. And it's a 200 hour project, and I just don't have, I think you do.

>> Now, I mean, start starting May 22nd.

>> Well, you promised to get us on the day that you finish and realize it's too big to get out of the basement.

“>> [LAUGH] >> That's what we want to do.”

>> That's what we want to do. >> That's what we want to do. >> [LAUGH] >> It's an inflatable route. >> [LAUGH] >> Each of them, one of you will talk to you those to smash a bubble wine against the boat.

But we'll never leave it.

>> Well, you know how long I've been thinking about this boat is that when we renovated this house in 2008, I measured the doors and said, we have to get wider doors because I'm going to build a boat down here. >> Right. >> And I want you to be able to get it out. So, it will come out. >> Well, it will. >> You'll never finish the boat. >> No, that too.

>> [LAUGH] >> I don't think his attitude is going to affect the boat. >> I'll be hearing it in my head. All I'll be hearing is just like, >> I'm trying to get terrible job. >> You're doing a terrible job. >> It's a futile statement.

>> Tap dancing. >> I'm wrestling. >> Yes. >> All the things you've given me. >> What else can't he finish? >> You can't like Rawman either. [LAUGH]

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Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. And now back to strike force five. >> I don't know if I've ever heard anybody do a Ryan Reynolds.

>> Yeah, that's really good. >> Yeah, well, I think we figured out what he's been doing. >> It's like Shakespeare. Let it say. >> Yeah.

>> Because I mean, compared to the old five from earlier. >> Yeah, I didn't know you had it in. >> The Ryan Reynolds experience in Las Vegas. >> Oh, yeah. >> Oh my god, that'd be good.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah, like Stephen comes out and does like best of deadpool. >> It's deadpool. >> Yes. >> Oh, yeah.

>> Of course.

“>> Actually, if someone else is like who has a physique is deadpool,”

I could stay back to stay with our might. >> And that's true. >> And we talked through that. >> Yeah, we don't even know. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> And then like Wizard of Oz when we pulled the print and go, it's a typical bear. >> Yeah. >> He's surprised.

>> Yeah. >> The only a the more I Jimmy the better I feel. >> And nothing else. >> That's the important thing. >> It's Vegas, baby.

>> Yeah. >> Would you guys feel comfortable naked? >> You would, because you're fit. >> But no. >> It would feel comfortable naked.

>> Like, but where? >> Like, it was like a key question. >> When I was 19. >> Okay. >> When I was 19, I was in Italy and I was working on this

Plateau Festival and the director Ken Russell was directing Madam Butterfly and they wanted someone to come on at the top of it. It was said in Nagasaki in a real like a brothel, not like a gay house. And I very can also.

And I had to walk out at the top. They wanted somebody to walk out across stage to be tried to leave the brothel that paying the prostitutes at the top. Well, the musicians, we know. >> Okay.

>> [LAUGH] >> But I didn't know as they wanted me to do it nude. >> Okay. And so I was, but I was 19.

Because I first had walked out with boxer shorts on and they go,

who told you you were a boxer shorts? And I said, "Do the same to tell me." >> Well, it was his assistant, Dario. And he goes, "Steven, who told you you got a boxer shorts?" >> Thank you very much.

>> And I said, Ruben, Terrarulian, the designer. He's a game of the boxers. Steve, he's a whole house. Why would you have your boxer shorts on? And he goes, "You should be naked."

And I said, "And I thought did the math immediately." My head went, "I'm 19. I'm thousands of miles from home." I don't know anybody here. This thing isn't going to get any better looking past this.

I said, "Okay." Oh, you are an exhibitionist. I said, "No, I'll do it." So I was naked on stage every night. It was like talking with his thumb, like that.

Did you have the glasses?

>> It wasn't really the same.

>> What? That's when there were glasses. >> No glasses. >> Yeah, yeah. And it was backstage.

>> You were wearing glasses? >> No, it was not wearing glasses. >> Not on his face. >> So it looked like grass. >> No.

I had the ring on and the glasses. >> It's amazing. >> Yeah. >> And a fair amount of zinc oxide. He was like, "Okay, we're at the box.

We're not being able to see the bag." >> That's funny. >> Exactly. >> Now to make it to make it a talk. [ Laughter ]

>> That's exactly what I was seeing in Vegas. >> Do I add in metal sporting? >> Publish with the penis. Do you remember that you remember? Publish with the penis?

>> I guess. >> Oh, my God. >> Do what? >> Oh, the penis. >> Do you want Australian guys?

>> Yeah, sure. I know about that. >> Yeah.

>> So the penis was the face?

>> They would come out. >> They would manipulate. It was scroll manipulation. >> Was it a shadow puppet? >> No, they were.

>> No, they were. They would be a camera up close. They would project on the thing. >> Yep. >> And they would guys with capes and running shoes.

>> Yep. >> And that was it. >> Yep. >> And they would just like literally like. >> Like the cape.

>> What? >> Why the cape? >> Showmanship. [ Laughter ] >> Chili?

>> Chili.

“But I remember they did like wind surfer.”

>> Yep. >> Yeah. >> They would like say it. And then they'd like, "Well, they have a prop, like a windstorm." >> They would make the whole thing.

>> They would like to play the penis. >> They would play the penis. >> Yeah. It was very much to take that eye. You can't.

>> Yeah. >> It takes a certain kind of skill. >> Wow. >> Last time I see the bull. >> That's arm wrestling to have dancing.

>> It is hard to follow-up. >> Right. >> So I guess I'm, well, I tell you the story why. I want to know whether you guys have done new scenes. >> And before we get much thought, I love the idea.

That's someone listening to this one thing. I did see it on. What year would that be? >> That's good. >> That's good.

>> Do I see Stephen Colbert as also? It's swinging dick in Italy. >> Yeah. >> That's not that perfect Dario who used to. >> That's a American boy.

>> You mean American Dario? >> That's a big Italian accent. >> That's like, yeah, dirty Dario. >> It's like the lower half of its face look like a thumb. >> Yeah.

>> You've got to take a look at the most. >> Yeah.

>> Remember when we were always a Dario?

“>> Of course people at whorehouse have no access.”

>> But they come in with all their clothes. >> They come in fully cool. >> They don't. >> They don't go to whorehouse naked. >> They don't go to whorehouse.