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with me twenty four seven at doctor for a dot com i want to talk about over thinking over thinking over thinking over thinking oh I mean I need to get this cycle mental laps around a thought again and again and again it's exhausting it's exhausting one of the reasons it's exhausting is that your brain and then your body thinks oh my god must be very threatening situation she could
go and she keeps going over it over it over it and your mind and body gets dressed now normally when you've got to think of something and deal with it uh... it's good part of your brain are activated to respond to an immediate stress but it's draining when that part of the brain is activated chronically like it turn on this
bout have a little water good you can wet things make soup whatever you just leave
it on it's not a good thing thinking is not a problem as a matter of fact i recommend it thinking is not a problem reflecting planning
rehearsing it's a good way to march forward in life yeah making decisions yes
“over thinking is when that inner dialogue becomes repetitive repetitive repetitive”
unproductive repetitive unproductive repetitive it's just like ongoing annoying chatter in your head again this nothing is resolved nothing is solved nothing is planned no action is taken its just sort of wearing the tire down on your car by doing wheelies
think of that it's like mental wheelies nothing you don't get anywhere and you're draining the tires that's what you're doing to your brain so what do we
overthink what might happen what might go wrong what if it rains in my entire trip is ruined
“which is going to carmel for christmas you guarantee you don't have to”
ruminate after overthink you're going to be rained out carmel and December don't go there for christmas unless you are okay with the rain i mean it's lovely there but you know
what if what if what if i don't get the promotion so going over and over and over and over doesn't solve anything unless you're going to say well it rains for christmas so
let's get an air b and b if they have those and that with a fireplace so when it rains we can that's not overthinking that's thinking and planning even though you're thinking of something
negative let's just say you're redecorating your bedroom and there are 15 different shades of pink and you just go over and over and over
yeah one good thing about my brain is we were repaining the house a bunch of years ago
and i decided i wanted it yellow but there are a million
yellows there's school bus yellows you know orange is yellows there are yellows that hurt your eyeballs and there are yellows that are so lightly can't tell so they said well what yellow do you want i have no clue
so they made i think it was four splotches on the side of my house each with a different yellow i walked up and i went that one there was it i don't think overthinking it and having a few shades different makes a big difference so i have an attitude of acceptance
for a range of possibility i think you have to get to that point because i have no idea what perfection is in choosing a color mmm... none
You might have an intrusive thought that pops up
and kicks off more distress like
“imagining you're going to swear of your car and”
damage it and you wonder why am i thinking that
am i thinking that so basically overthinking is
treading the same territory without moving on without taking action that's overthinking going over the same territory again and again without moving on and without taking action and i keep making that second part louder
because you'd be surprised how taking action stops overthinking but how do i know the action is absolutely the right one damned if i know and you really certain just like the fate shade of yellow that there's an absolutely right one i mean the word
absolutely i don't think so so how do you stop yourself from overthinking
first thing is to be aware that you do this
and it's that it's not healthy and that you get nasty with yourself because of some mistake you've made you run through it again and again you have a pro and con list about something
“and you go again and again so you have to catch yourself”
first thing you have to do is catch yourself now just like with panic attacks you can't run from them you got to sit there and let it wave over you like water so don't stop yourself from thinking don't argue with the thoughts to prove them wrong
listen to the thoughts listen to your worry thoughts and you know you should say to yourself this is pretty sound weird say to yourself hey thank you for pointing out a potential problem what if you actually said that to your brain
thank you brain for pointing out a potential problem which is different than going over it going over it going over it going over it you actually thank you brain thank you brain that is a potential problem what should i do with that
chalk it off into should happens or plan something so we're moving forward in processing a solution you see overthinkers don't go to solutions
“that's why when you have a friend we had a call like that yesterday”
calls just every day of the week and it's going over and over again how they're unhappy about this that of the other thing and you foolishly offer a solution and they get angry because they don't want a solution
and i want a solution it's sad but they don't it means something to keep this going because if you don't have a solution you can't do it wrong i said that so again we're kind of talking about
ways of handling the overthinking another way still look at the bigger picture how about you say to yourself am i going to feel this way this insecurity this fear a month from now
and your brain will go well hell no you'll be on to other things a year from now no i don't think you'll be doing this nutty stuff for a whole year a week from now so ask yourself you really need to talk to yourself
talk to your brain and talk to yourself
it's actually much more powerful than having somebody else talk to you
talk to yourself as though you were out of your own body that's really an important way to do it and that's fun use you instead of i talk to yourself you Laura you talking to you Laura
did i want you who you talking to uh you it helps people be more objective about stress when they sort of come out like i asked people on air what would be advice if your daughter were dating this guy what advice would you give her dump him suddenly
when you're out of you out of eye and into you you're able to be objective and realize you're doing something seriously
Stupid by continuing to deal with that person
because you wouldn't give your daughter your son
the suggestion to keep that going
“see objective but then it's hard well like you know”
so it's toothpaste left out too long
anyway that is a very good start
“the end point is you're going to be a chronic overtaker if you don't”
do
something about a fearful thought
“to so talk to yourself even people may think you're not”
tell them doctor Laura said i should talk to myself and say you i'm talking to you my number one eight hundred three seven five twenty eight seventy two if you like this podcast be sure to rate it on apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast
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