#2507 - Harland Williams

>> The Joe Rogan experience.

“>> Train my day Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.”

[MUSIC] >> To meet you this year with Donald Trump is here. >> Wow, I've made my day. >> It was important. It doesn't matter what side.

>> It doesn't? >> No. >> There we go. >> Wow, these are nice to meet you this snake. >> Yeah, tape war.

>> Oh, that's right, it's tape war. >> Yeah, what's going on with your face? What are you doing? >> This is a tight one for me today, guy. [MUSIC]

>> Well, I'm feeling right. >> What is that? >> It's the name. >> The name says Betty. >> Billy.

>> Billy. >> Oh, b-i. >> L-o-y. >> Oh, it's a, it's a memorial tattoo. I don't know if you knew this or not, but my kid got hit by a truck.

>> When did you have a kid? >> About two years ago, I haven't told anyone. I was ashamed, it was a one-night stand, kid. Is it a human kid? >> Yeah.

[MUSIC] >> Billy, you get hit by a truck? >> Got hit by a truck. >> Was he just walking? >> Well, someone, and I won't say who left the gate open.

And he wandered out into the street. And boom, like hit by a 18-wheeler. And this is like a memorial, so you got Billy tattooed on your forehead. I have two tattoos, I got Billy on my forehead and I got a tattoo, his little face over my heart.

>> Come sit. >> Really? >> Yeah.

“>> First of all, what happened to the one when you were attacked by the bear?”

>> That healed up. This is Billy. >> Billy, go. Is it a kid? >> Billy, kid?

>> Yeah. >> Poor little guy. >> Poor little guy. >> He was a service animal. >> I thought he was your son.

>> Well, he was my boy. >> He was a kid. >> But he said he got him out of a one-night stand. >> Well, that girl sold him to me was a service animal. [Sighs]

>> Yeah, it sucks, dude. And you know what sucks, he was hit by a truck that was hauling medical supplies. >> Okay. >> How ironic. >> Right, he's laying there and to watch your kid bleat to death.

He's just laying on the pavement like just bleeding to death.

>> Amazing, he's still alive.

>> Well, he, I couldn't believe it, he was alive and a respirator rolled out of the back of the truck, a life-saving device, and crushed his soup, his, crushed his head.

“So he's killed not by the truck, but by the final blow of the respirator landing on him?”

>> Right, so the irony. >> Well, the odds. >> Well, this is the irony in life, Joe, like he got hit by the truck, might have survived, a respirator rolled out of the back of these things way a good half-ton, lands on the iddy on the kid's face, and gone.

>> Poor Billy. >> So Memorial Tatoo's, well, you're a good guy. >> I was a good kid. >> I was a good kid. >> Is that right?

>> Yeah. >> How does goat taste? Have you got it? >> It's pretty good, yeah. >> Wait.

You have? >> Sure.

First time I ever had it was in LA at a Mexican spot.

They were selling goat tacos. They were delicious. >> Oh my God. >> Yeah, and then I had a neighbor, well, not a neighbor who's a landscaper, there was a friend of mine that would, he would fight chickens, they would do chicken fights.

>> Talk fights. >> Yeah. I've had those trying to be polite cleaning up for the viewers. And chicken fights. >> Cock is kind of the technical name.

>> It seems wrong. >> Yeah. >> When you're saying it, have you ever, I don't like how you're saying it. >> But anyway, they would roast a goat. He told me whenever they would do a cock fight, it's better.

>> Yeah. >> Feel better. >> Well, it's not for me. >> It's for the culture. >> For the kiats, yeah.

I mean, it is what it is. >> Of course. >> So I don't know why it's a pit bull fight. >> Actually, I wonder how you say it in Spanish? >> Because he, he don't cocko.

>> So anyway, he lived in this neighborhood. He would swear to God that it was Mexico. It was crazy. Like every sign was in Spanish. All the people in Spanish, it was roosters everywhere.

He just on his treat right here. (buzzer) All day long. It was crazy. And so he had his friend in mind, friend of his brother.

He went to, we went to the backyard.

There's so many roosters.

And they had these prized roosters and they had a whole pit. So they had a thing. It was almost like a barn looking area. >> Right. >> And you go in there and there's a pit.

>> And then that's where they were fight. And he was shown me where they would roast a goat. He said every time they would have a cockfight, they'd roast a goat, nobody had beers. And well, if you're going to have a cockfight,

you might as well roast a goat. >> That's what I said. >> But if I had a cock put in my backyard, I'd get like a delta pilot and an American Airlines pilot and toss them in.

>> And let them fight it out? >> Let them fight it out in the cock pit. >> Who do you think would win? >> Probably delta because they have the DEI program. >> Do they?

>> Yeah. >> Or in this case? >> They all do. >> The DEI program.

>> Someone ain't coming out alive.

>> Well, I think we need pilots. So maybe you should do it with someone who's overrepresented in the marketplace.

“Like what would be like we could get rid of some of those folks?”

Who we could sing aloud? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'd be like without enough. There's too many you guys. >> Yeah, politicians? >> Yeah, oh yeah.

>> Almost advocates. >> I'd love to see politicians getting a pit and fight. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> Two men into a man league.

I mean, that had to, how it went down a long time ago. >> Yeah, long time ago. >> Oh, you're talking like cavemen years? >> Yeah, in a tribal days. >> Tribal days.

>> Yeah, they probably had a fight. >> Yeah, I think my opponent's a piece of shit. He wants to steal all the coconuts. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> I think back then the hierarchy worked based on physical dominance and intimidation, like you'd be a good leader. You got, you got, you're jacked. >> Yeah, I'm not a good leader though, because I feel like you got to do what you want to do.

I'm not really interested in running this place. I got to get out of here. >> Yeah, yeah, because once you decide, you're running it. You're stuck with everything. >> Yeah, and all the problems of your problems.

>> Wow. >> And everyone wants to kill you. >> Who the fuck would want to be president? This is why voting for president is a real problem. >> Yeah.

“>> Like in 2020, it was like who's gonna win in 2018, who's gonna win?”

Who's gonna run, who wants a fucking job? What normal, healthy person wants that job? Where at least half the country's gonna fucking hate you. And the people that you got in, that got you in, they're not gonna be happy, because

you're never gonna be able to do what you're saying you want to do.

It's not even possible. Would you just put up, Jim? >> I was gonna say, do you think they could start doing it again like they didn't. >> So I didn't mean to do it. >> They didn't do it.

>> Yeah. >> It may appear as a history. >> According to Proplexity, our AR sponsor, politicians fought literally with fists, canes, swords, and pistols. And some famous ones were killed or badly injured in these clashes.

171-1800s, doing was a common way for gentlemen, and politicians defend their honor in Europe in the United States. That would be sick. If congressmen, you know, like, they start screaming and yelling each other like they always do.

>> Yeah. >> I challenge you to a duel. >> Yeah. >> Everyone's like, oh, let's fucking go out on the White House lawn. >> Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson.

>> Yeah. >> The author was wounded himself. >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. >> That's Dickinson. >> That's Dickinson.

>> Okay. >> I mean, that's a bad review for a block when you go, you piece of shit. >> I didn't like Tom Sawyer, boom. Did he enjoy Tom Sawyer? >> Or Hawk Finn?

>> No, no, no, no, that was Kim. >> Kim? >> Sammy Clemens. Mark Twain. >> Twain?

>> Yeah. >> What the hell did Dickinson write? >> I don't remember. >> The Christmas one. >> Christmas one.

The Grinch? >> Which one's the right? >> Grinch the stole. >> Oliver Twist, Christmas Carol's the one I was trying to think of. David Copperfield, Great Expectations.

He wrote that. >> Yeah, Christmas Carol's the one I was thinking of. >> Okay. >> He wrote some great stuff.

“What year was put that thing up again about the doodles?”

>> Uh-huh. >> Because, so Jackson killed someone in 826. >> In 826. One was he president? >> Later.

>> This is later. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So he shot someone and then became president. He was a murderer.

And he became president. >> He was president. >> Did it in 1804? >> Whoa. >> JD van's just going out and shooting the Treasury Secretary right now.

>> Well, this is crazy. They had a pistol duel with the Treasury Secretary. >> [LAUGH] >> Hamilton was mortally wounded and died the next day. >> It would be crazy to see right now.

>> Wow. >> I remember the O.C. finds that the White House maybe they could do that. >> It ended this guy Burr's political career. Just scroll back up again. And Aaron Burr.

So it was the Vice President. Aaron Burr shot the fucking Treasury Secretary. That's crazy. The former Treasury Secretary and killed them and then it ended his career.

But it's not crazy that was just the 1800s.

>> 200 years ago, they were shooting each other. >> And America's all about guns. So why aren't we just doing that now? It would end a lot of really shitty conversations. >> Yeah. >> 'Cause a lot of people, they talk in a way they say horrible mean things

because they know there's no repercussions. >> Yeah. >> If they could just challenge you to a fist fight on the Senate floor, that was a thing. >> Yeah. >> Which changed a lot. >> 1856. >> Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina and the U.S. Senate Chamber and brutally beat Senator

Charles Summer of Massachusetts with a cane. After Summer gave an anti-slavery speech that insulted Brooks cousin. Summer was left unconscious and badly injured.

“Whoa. Well, because he gave an anti-slavery speech, imagine, why'd you hit him?”

>> The guys against slavery. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Did you use a weapon at least? >> Yeah, I use a cane. He's against slavery.

>> What the hell?

>> I don't do, just let him be against slavery.

>> Yeah. >> He insulted my cousin, the slave owner. >> Wow. Well, you know, America's like kind of built on gun culture. So it sort of seems to fit. >> Yeah. >> Well, also combat, like, thank you, it's just a little more. It's like violence.

There's a UFC in the White House lawn. >> Yeah. >> That seemed like a good place to be, huh? Everyone's going to know where all the world leaders are going to be. We're all going to be sitting in that spot for six hours call and fight.

>> You're going to be there, right? >> Super safe. >> You're completely safe. >> You're going to be there, right? Oh, I'm going to be there.

>> Do you like the concept of it or no? >> I do not like it. >> How come, guy?

“>> Because it's outside, and I think World Championship fight should be in a controlled environment.”

>> Yeah. >> At a respect for the athletes and how difficult it is to compete professionally in a world title, however, I should say, however, it's going to be a spectacle. Whether I was there or not, I would be watching a hundred percent. >> Yeah. >> It's, I think it's awesome that Trump, this is one of the things that I like about

him. >> He's like, fuck it. Let's do it. >> Yeah. >> He puts on cage fights on the White House lawn, that's nuts.

>> He's fearless. >> Yeah. >> But it does wild shit. I like that. >> Yeah.

>> I like to do it. >> I don't like the Iran War thing, but I like that. >> You don't like the concept that I rank and no longer have nuclear weapons? >> I think that's better than a UFC fight. >> That is a good concept, however, I don't necessarily know there's a clear way to get

out of this. And if you know what we did in Afghanistan for 20 years and how much American tax payer dollars is left. And how many people lost their lives? >> But in Afghanistan, it felt like they were just sweeping out like goat farmers and

guys hiding in caves, whereas here there's a directive where they're preventing a rebel country from having a bomb that could annihilate portions of our planet. >> That's true.

“>> I think that's a much clearer and more positive agenda than wiping out guys living”

in the hills of Afghanistan, creating opium. >> That's true. If it made sense.

>> The problem is, I had Scott Horton on the podcast explaining what is actually involved

in making depleted uranium and making weapons great and what would have to be done in order to get it to a bomb level, it's very difficult. >> Right. >> It's not as simple and they weren't nearly capable of doing that. >> Not nearly, but pursuing.

>> It's a good question because he was also saying they were being inspected on a regular basis. Essentially, this is real wanting us to go to this war. >> Yeah. >> This is real wanting to make sense.

If I was Israel, if we were America, Mexico had nukes pointed out us or whatever, it's not nukes, but you know what I'm saying? If they did, if they were trying to build a nukes, if Mexico and America were constantly in conflict, and Mexico was trying to build a nuclear bomb, that would be a good reason where America would want to go fuck up Mexico, you can't have a nuclear bomb.

This is Israel's position. >> Right. >> Israel's right there with Iran. They're close enough. They're throwing missiles at each other.

I get why they would want it. I just don't know if it's a good thing for America, and I don't know if there's a way out of it. >> Well, I think what we have to look at is the bigger scope, if not America cleaning it up, who does it, who has the power and the wear with all to do it?

>> You know, we've used like two thirds of our missiles doing it. >> Yeah, but we leave this vulnerable if there's any other kind of a conflict. We're like under armed right now. >> I don't like we're ever under armed when we have our Triton submarine force lurking in the oceans 24/7, and nobody knows they're there, even members of American military.

>> What do you know? How do you know this? >> I know things, guys. >> Billy tell you this? >> Billy.

>> Billy's dead. >> Wait a minute. Do you know something about these Triton submarines? >> I sure do. >> What do you know?

>> Well, they're circumnavigating our oceans 24/7.

>> I think there's a fleet of 12 to 24.

I think it's closer to 12, but these things can stay underwater for up to a year. And most members of our American government don't even know they're there. They don't know where they are. >> How much underwater jerk-in-off is going on right now? >> Well, think about it.

One Triton submarine, tried in submarine. >> Has how many guys on it? >> I don't know how many guys, but it has something like 24 nuclear warheads. >> And how many guys on it has 24 that break off. So one of these submarines could take out half the world, and we've got them going all

the time.

“So whenever you're afraid of any little hot spot in the world, just remember that we have”

this going on in the ocean, a lot of people don't know about it. >> I like you say this, we shit when you're Canadian. >> Yeah. >> Interesting. >> Yeah.

>> When the shit hits the fan, Canadians like to pretend they're Americans. >> I'm just not worried. I'm not worried about America ever being vulnerable.

It's an area, it's a nautical force that you don't really hear about, but if you were to

look it up, there's this force out there that could take out the world. >> Well, Jamie just looked it up. >> Jamie looked it up. >> U.S. Navy submarine force today, consists of 53, a fast attack submarines, 14 ballistic missile submarines, and four guided missile submarines all nuclear powered that yields a total

of roughly 70 to 71 nuclear submarines in the force, making it the world's largest nuclear submarine fleet. Why currently in the oceans is classified, except for people who talk to Harlan. >> Exactly. >> Harlan knows.

>> The exact number of U.S. nuclear submarines at sea, at any moment, and their locations are classified for operational security. The Navy does not release real-time deployment figures. The discussion instead uses overall force in general deployment concepts like continuous SSB and deterrent patrols rather than day by day counts.

>> Mm-hm. >> Okay. That makes me feel a little better. >> Well, you need not worry. >> And that's-- you didn't even tap into the triedons.

The triedons are the nuclear ones that run silent.

>> You can't. >> You can't. >> You can't. >> You can't. >> That's-- that's pinging.

>> That's sonar. >> What do you mean? >> You can't. >> You can't. >> You can't.

>> You can't. >> You can't. >> You can't. >> They're nuclear. They're silent.

They're silent predators in the ocean. >> Really? >> They're huge. And I told you one nuclear warhead splits off into 16 or 24. So, one of these-- one of these damn triedons submarines could put anyone in

its place at any time.

“So, don't you worry about our missiles being depleted, Mr. Joe?”

>> Exactly. It's a mercury broken. >> I don't know. I know about submarines. I know about your middle name.

>> Okay. I've got to have to change my license. >> Yeah. >> In current open sources, triedon summaries usually means US Navy, Ohio class, ballistic missile submarines.

They carry triedon to D5 nuclear missiles. And there are 14 of these boats. >> There you go. >> And so, these boats are just floating around ready to fuck people up. So, do you think it was a good idea to go into Iran?

Start bombing? >> I think whoever's the bad player, I think it's a good idea. If it was North Korea, Iran, Israel, Canada, Mexico. >> Whoever's causing shit in the world. We don't have time for you.

Let's get in line. Let's all work together. Or you get a time out. We don't time for this anymore. We're a society of sophisticated human beings.

We've got to move forward. There I am. So, Narguay. >> Look at you, dude. >> That's me on a triedon.

“>> That's what you do in your spare time?”

>> Yeah. >> Right around the world protecting thing. >> Hey, die your hair before we go into there. >> [LAUGH] >> It's her little memory when he started doing that.

>> What movie was that in? >> Down periscope. >> Down periscope. >> Look at you, dog. >> Yeah.

>> But this is real, guys. So, I'm just saying to you. Don't ever fret. >> Okay. >> There's no one on earth that can threaten America.

>> How did 9/11 happen then? >> Well, that was land base. That was terrestrial. And that was simple planning and box cutting and hijacking. And we're talking about global warfare, nuclear war.

Let's say Moscow launched and hit seven of our cities tomorrow. Well, guess what, Moscow? Debbie seven eight, child eight, seven marine. Wait and just, don't show off for you. >> This episode is brought to you by Amazon,

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Right, but there's no one left here to celebrate because we're all dead. It doesn't matter. America doesn't lose is what I'm trying to tell you, Michael. We still win when everyone's dead. Yeah, it's still win.

The guys float around in the Indian Ocean and the Atlantic and the North Sea. So those sailors will be the new civilization. We didn't even win when they lose my guy.

“Maybe that's why the aliens are under the water.”

Maybe they're the ones that survived. You believe that? The apocalypse. Yeah, I don't know about the aliens under the water. Tim Burshet was on this podcast.

Well, what does he know? He said that there are three, this is a three bases or five. When you're last name's bullshit, I don't know. What is it? Oh, Burshet.

He's a very honest man. So what did he say? He said that there's these three locations. I think it's three. See, three or five?

I can't remember. I can't even let me tell you. Five. So he said this is spots under the ocean where regularly they have these events where things come out of the ocean. When you say things, are we talking giant squid or we talking extraterrestrial?

They're talking crafts that move in a way that we can't right now. There are 500 miles an hour under the water. They're transmidiemy and then go above the ground and in the water with no it doesn't seem like it's causing them any resistance. Yeah. Burshet there said there are five underwater bases and in some reports it's phrase is five or six.

But the clearest reporting says he pointed to five areas in the US waters where such bases could be. So there's a bunch of areas in the ocean. And if you think like you were going to hide something, that's where you would hide it.

“We can't we don't go in the ocean that much, right?”

I'm going in the ocean, but we don't know the ocean. It hasn't been mapped. I think we've only mapped less than 10% of the ocean floor. We know more about the surface of the moon than we knew about the bottom of the ocean. Correct.

And so when they're if they were here, that would be the place to hide. Just go to the deepest parts of the ocean where no one can go. Yeah. And you build bases. Because if they can travel here from another planet.

Yeah. James Cameron went to the bottom of the Mariana trench. Yeah. Fascinating. So he did that in 2012. If he can do that, for sure, something that can come here from another planet can also go down there.

And most likely set up a base. I'm skeptical. I'm not denying it. But I'm thinking if you're an extraterrestrial and you're coming to a planet like ours. What's the upside of going deep down into a trench that's, I think it's what three, four, five miles deep.

The aerial light trench. Aerial light. What's it called? What's it called? The aerial is the thing around.

Your tits. Did you catch this yesterday? Probably maybe not. The new closer day trailer. I did.

So Steven Spielberg's in it. Yeah. He sang.

First of all, bro cut your nails.

You freaking me out. Oh wow. He's a nose picker. Some people keep him long to get boogers. The Spielberg probably likes to pull out a crank out a greenie.

So he said that he believes that we're being visited. Much. I don't think he does that. He's a respect for those nails. He's a booger picker nail.

He's just too busy to trim his nails. I don't know. He probably could have someone trim that. I don't mean booger nails.

“You think that's what they look like an eye eye almost.”

What if we had like one long coke nail? What if we had like one long picker nail? Like an eye eye? Like a fucking coke. What if we had one long coke nail?

What if we had one long coke nail? What if we had like one long picker nail? Like an eye eye? Like a fucking coke nail, bro. You ever seen an eye eye?

Those dudes, they grow the pinky nail long to let everybody know they do coke. Pull up an eye eye, Jamie. What does that mean?

You'll see in a second Dr. Coke nail.

Jesus. A Y E A Y E. Maybe that ink from the tattoo. That was shown the middle finger of the eye eye. Oh, man.

Well, look at that hook.

And that's a Spielberg hook right there.

[laughter] That is what the fingers look like. Look at that. That's a Spielberg at night. Laying in his water bed, picking greenies.

I don't think he does that. I think he does. I just wanted his beard right there. I feel better than I brought it up. Look, there's the hand.

Yeah, eye eye. And isn't it interesting, Joe,

“if we go full circle, if you're down in a tried and submarine?”

And the captain says press X572 and obliterate Iran right now. The operator would go eye eye, sir. I don't think they say that. I think they say that. No, you have to.

Well, if the guys names are odd, you're.

Why did they say, Roger? Huh? One of the why they say that name. Like it's not make. Roger was based off of the Jolly Roger, the flag.

That was skull and cross bones. So the nautical term Roger came from that Jolly Roger. Yeah, but Milto used that too, Roger that. Right. But they adopted it from the Navy.

Let's find out this true. Yeah. What is Roger the term Roger that? Where's that come from? Hasn't looking at up.

Do you know why Pirates were an eye patch? Yes. Can I have no. Oh, so they could see better at distance? At night under the under the ship.

Right. Yeah. For when, you know, light. When you get accustomed to darkness. The more why is why does having one eye closed?

“So do they put the patch over the other eye when they go under?”

Yeah. But nice. You switch. They switch eyes.

So they never have to get adjusted to the dark.

Well, that's crazy. Yes. Roger has to do with Morse code. Great. That is actually kind of amazing.

What a small move. You put one patch over your eye during the daytime and one patch at night. And you know we see. Yep. Originally stood for the letter R, which is used as short hand for received in Morse code.

Yeah. In an early radio. So saying Roger means I received your message. Right. Interesting.

And it also hankers back to the Scull and Crossbones, the Jolly Roger pull out up. I don't think it does. Yeah. It is. It's a derivative of the cranial area of the, the, the, the, the tibia's cross, the cranial.

Mm. Jamie doesn't believe you. That helps going on here. And where Jamie laughs. I know something's up.

What is a Jolly Roger? No. The Roger and radio talk and the Roger and Jolly Roger come from different traditions. Yeah. And they're not historically connected.

Do you think this is maybe topsy could information that you know, and maybe you just made a mistake by telling the whole world? Can I answer it with, uh. You've just been so nerd player. So imagine. If there was a super sophisticated, uh, intelligent civilization that existed way before hours.

Like 30, 30 days ago, and then they had developed underwater travel, space travel, all that jazz. Then the apocalypse comes and the only ones that survive are the tried and summary guides that are in the ocean. Right?

“Maybe that's why all these bases are in the ocean.”

Maybe they're the last remaining survivors of a super advanced civilization that existed thousands and thousands of years before, like Mesopotamia. But my point to you, joke. Good point. Valid. Valid.

You're going to play. I'm not even refuting it. But I'm going to roll it around the old Canadian roll it around. And I'm going to come back at you with an argument that if I'm an intelligent life force, and I've got this sphere with oceans and land, why do I want to make life harder for myself? Do you know the pressure that you're at or that three miles down in the ocean, the amount of pressure that come to look what happened to that little,

that little submarine that popped about three years ago? Right. So why do you want to live in an environment where you have so much pressure when you could simply land on the terrestrial plane and live pressure free? Because if they are insanely advanced, one of the things that's proposed is that they have some sort of a gravity bubble. And this is how they move through space.

And this is how they don't use propulsion. That is essentially through space. That's why these crafts act as transmedium crafts. When these crafts are flying in the ocean, the ocean rather there's virtually no splash. And then moving 500 miles down.

Frictionless. Exactly. They're not existing in the same space times we are. They have a bubble. And this bubble completely distorts everything around.

So you're saying if they descended into the depths of our oceans, they won't experience the pressure.

Because the bubble is forcing off the pressure.

Interesting. But still, okay. What is your purpose for going underwater when you could just land on the surface of the earth? Well, maybe they're outside. Maybe they're observing us and making sure that we don't fuck things up.

But how can they observe us if there are three miles underwater? Well, they come out of the water, Harland. That's the whole reason why they know they're there. They keep experiencing these crafts that are rising out of the water and these very specific locations. Yeah.

You seem like a disinformation agent from the government or something. Oh yeah, I am. It seems like it. I am.

“You should work out on being a little more stealthy.”

What do you mean?

Because it's very obvious to me that you're what the kids call controlled opposition.

Well, that could be me, counter-intuitively pre-programming you to think sideways. We'll be the benefit of that. I'm not experiencing these ways of espionage. What's the benefit of living a mile down in the ocean in the area where I rift? I think there's a whole reason they're in the ocean because that's where we won't find them.

If you wanted to watch like civilization, if we went to another planet, okay, let's say this. Let's say we go to another planet. We find people that are living like cave people. They're killing each other with mirrors. They're robbing and raiding villages.

If we wanted to just observe and we had the ability to observe from the sky, motionless with no sound at all. And just watch them. Don't you think we would do that? Yeah. We would interfere.

We would want to know as much about them as we could. Right.

Every now and then when one of them is going to get watered, we'd fucking dart them with a tranquilizer dart.

Check their DNA, take some giz, and then leave them there. Just like they do to us. We would do the exact same stuff if we could do it. We're just a little more advanced than we are now. So not, you know, millions of years in advance, which we think maybe possibly some civilizations are,

but maybe a hundred years or a thousand years. And we found a planet and that planet had cave people on it. 100% we would do most of the things that these aliens are doing. If we had a way where we could dart them and tranquilize them and they'd have no idea that we did it. Just wake up at the jungle, confused, we would do it.

If we did medical tests on them, we could take them. Bring them to a secure medical facility that we had, maybe in a helicopter or some sort of a spaceship that we've created. And we run some tests on them, take some sperm, take some skin samples, do a fucking cat scan on them, whatever. And then put them back in the jungle. We would do it.

But this isn't mutual. Although Mahaz Wild Kingdom, we're not wildebeest, we're not seals, like clearly, they share some of the intelligence we have. They're masters of aeronautics. We've mastered aeronautics in our physical plane. So what's with all the mystery?

Like if they can communicate and they can talk and they can build. We're too fast. As we can, we're not like we're too primitive. Why don't they just, how do you know that? Because if they just go ahead and let's go, let's go chat to the idiots.

No, if we're that dumb, at least we could communicate.

“I think your fighter jets fly with their fire, our fighter jets track them.”

We lock onto them. No, they don't know. So we're sharing aeronautical intelligence. No, no, they're not sharing. Joseph, they're trying to find them.

And then they dart away and move in ways that we can't expose. But we see them. We track them. We share the same airspace. We're both flying.

I don't know why I'm getting so fired up. Yeah, but still dude, if we went to another planet and found Australian pithicus. We found an early human, you know, one of the early primates. Okay. 100%.

We would dart it. 100%. We would tranquilize it. We would run tests on it. We would want to know about it.

100%. Okay, you're talking about it in the end or thought. But that's what we are to them. But let's say. It's a little graze with the big heads and they communicate telepathically.

And they could fly here instantaneously from other solar systems. We might as well be the ape people. But why the evasion, like if you saw a homo pickethus or whatever, it's called. Australian pithicus. Holding up a cell phone, would you still go?

Let's dart it and probe it and let it go. Why when you'd go, hey, that monkey's got a cell phone. Let's go talk to it. We can talk. We can talk to people with cell phones like why the why the mysterious distance.

Like if they're in the ocean and they know we're intelligent beings.

“Why not just come up and say, hey, anyone want to go snorkeling?”

I think Australia pithicus with a spear is about as intelligent to us as we are to them. But if they have an evolved language and they have communities and a civilisation. Isn't that enough for us to just walk in the camp and go? Hey, guys. I mean, they did it with tribe with tribes that live in the Amazon.

Who's the guy they boiled in the pot that famous saying?

Well, that's that famous. I can't think of it right now.

“But anyways, we wandered into the Amazon and walked right up to like weird Amazon tribal people.”

It's not like we hid and tried to hide from them. Yeah, but they didn't know those people were even there. Right. But when they found them, they integrated. They approached them and they go, hey, this is a t-shirt.

This is a camera. Those are human beings that are the exact same kind of human beings as the people that were visiting them. They're not different species. Still? No.

So if you Joe Rogan wrote in a field one day and you saw a new species of like people jumping around having a picnic, sharing a salami, would you just hide behind a log and watch them or would you go, hey, who are you, what are you? Well, you're not even allowed to contact un-contacted people. Say that again.

You're not allowed to contact like North Sentinel Island that island in the middle of the Indian Ocean where that preacher went and got killed because he was trying to bring the Bibles. Right. You're not allowed to contact un-contacted tribes. Is that like all of them?

Most of them. I don't think so.

In the ocean they have that North Sentinel Island protected.

And there's people that discourage people from contacting people in the Amazon. There's several un-contacted tribes in the Amazon. I wish they'd stay that way. Yeah. Stay un-contacted?

Well, I don't want to see a beautiful like pig me or someone from an Amazonian tribe wearing a deed as shirt. Why not? Or a hooter's shirt. Who does it be funny?

No. That'd be fun. I want to see them wearing, like, cook, cook feathers and, you know, cook-a-pick bones. I want to see them live alone. Spear fishing with a bucky's hat on.

Ah, gel. Come on, guy. No. No. See?

Why not? Well, then that's why the aliens under the ocean are staying away from us. They don't want to be corrupted by our ridiculous society of hooters and cracker barrels. Okay.

If you were in the Amazon, wouldn't you want to t-shirt?

If you were walking through the Amazon, you, Harland Williams. Yeah. The third. Right now, alive in 2026. If you were in the Amazon, and I said, would you like to wear a t-shirt?

Were you walking through the Amazon? Yeah. What would you say? As a white North American male? Yeah.

I'd say definitely. And they want one, too. It's better than no t-shirt. No, it's not. It's not a bit.

Hey, go ahead and one of them has a shirt and a shirt and a shirt. Yeah. See, I hate that. Look, he's got flipped out. That guy in the right is horrible.

That is the baller of the fucking neighborhood. That's the guy that pulls up in the 65-shavell and everybody's like, look at him with his flip flops.

“I think that's that guy who wrote "My Geritaville," what was his name?”

Jim Buffett. That's Jim Buffett for God. Mike Reed. That's Jim Buffett. That's Jim Buffett for God.

Mike Reed for God. That's Jim. Mike Reed for God. That's Jim. That's Jim.

That's Jim. That's Jim. That's Jim. Well, we'll get dinged on YouTube for that, Jamie. That's Jim.

You guys are getting way too close. You know, you get dinged. They can't sing. Oh, you can't sing. They take away your fucking advertising revenue if you home a song.

Okay. These dirty criminals. Wow. Dumb. Humb a song.

You've dirty scum. I'm sorry. Try to steal advertising money. What if we mess with them and hum a tune and sort of play name that tune with them? And they'll do?

They'll fucking ding you. Yeah. Even if they can't figure it out. Like they've got to sit around the office. They'll pretend they have to go to court.

Name that tune in seven notes and I'm like, "Mmm, don't do it. Don't do it." Do you know what I just did? You fucked us up. You know what song?

I don't care. I do. What is it? It was that pink Floyd song. No, no, don't you.

Don't say that because then they'll get us. Yeah, they don't know which one. It doesn't matter. And they can't prove it. They don't have that.

That's what you don't understand. They don't have to prove it. Oh, all they have to do is make a claim. Huh. And you have to fight it.

And you'll lose. You're Joe Rogan though. They're not going to mess with you guys. Oh, you're so incorrect. I don't know.

I know. You are jacked. I work out. Can we get your shirt off? No.

How come? Joe. We'll be selfish.

“I want you to, would you please take your shirt off for what reason?”

Because you have a beautiful body and you work so hard at it. And no one gets to see it. And you know you want people to see it, but you can't do it. You can't go. Well, I'm Joe Rogan.

I crafted this body. But if I ask you to, you get to show it off. I don't really want to show it off. That's why I wear clothes. You do, though.

It's like if you did this podcast, but didn't put it out. What's the point? I don't think that's the same thing. I would love it if you showed your beautiful body. Okay.

I love it. There you go. Oh, yeah. Joe. Dude.

Can we stand? No. That's enough. Dude. Look at that.

Can we talk about before you put the shirt on? Can we talk about it? We want to talk about it. How you do that. And work out.

You can do it, too. We'll take work out. Yeah. I don't think anyone's ever talked about it. How often do you work out?

A lot. Yeah. What are you doing these days? Okay. You want to get into this.

Sure. Here we go. Here we go. Joseph Zachary Rogan. I'm.

I don't want to get in trouble. Okay. You want to get into this. Sure. Here we go.

Here we go. Joseph Zachary Rogan. I'm. I don't want to get in trouble. But I'm working out, by the way.

Beautiful body. They're just as stunning. See, I'm. Doesn't even make me uncomfortable. Did you say that?

Like some men. I'd be like, this is odd. No, no. I'm not a fly guy. What does that mean?

Like homosexual.

“I'm straight as they come, but I believe in holding up people's hard work.”

And that didn't just come from sitting around eating pringles and basket robins. You worked your ass off. You deserved to show it.

And you never could, because it's you.

And now I get to help celebrate you. And all your fans got to see all that hard work. And I love it, guy. Okay. But I'm straight as a Chinese truck driver.

Chinese truck drivers are never gay. Never. That part of the job. Yeah. There's, here's the, how many dudes are jerking off under the ocean?

How many guys are jerking off to you just taking your shirt off? A couple. But how many guys are jerking off to me taking my shirt off while they're under the ocean? Let me check. If you got 14 subs, how many people on each sub?

How many men on each sub? It might not be known. Let's take a guess. They keep it very secret if you had a guess. How many people are on each sub?

I'm in a state. Oh. Oh. Oh. A thousand?

A lot more than that. Really? Oh, the trident. The trident are like floating cities. I'm very gay.

Me might be including all submarines, including like every government, not just ours. Okay. But how many people are on each submarine?

“How many like one of those submarines hold a small one is 30 to 70?”

I'll show it a lot. A small one? Yeah. Large one is 120 to 140. Wow.

It seems about a big 160 maybe. And there's 14 of us. So there's at least a thousand dudes under water right now. No. It's at least 40 to 70,000.

40 to 70,000 guys under the water? Yeah. Yeah. So don't worry about United States taking a hit. This is crazy.

This is wild. That's a crazy statistic. Are you glad I dropped by today?

I'm always glad when you drop by.

But this is crazy. 40 to 70,000 people are underwater in submarines at any given moment with huge uncertainty. Why we can only estimate, no Navy or company publishes a live count of how many submarines are deployed right now or how many crew aboard each one and how many deployments are classified. Civilian research and tourism subs are also not tracked in a global real-time way.

Wow. Wow. It's crazy. So that could be a whole new civilization. So they blow up the earth.

But how many chicks? Well, that's the thing. The ratio is probably not good. The ratio is probably non-existent. How many chicks are in these subs?

That's classified. Why do they have girls that certainly subs? There's girls submariners. What is the number? It's like 10 to 1.

And worse. What do they look like? But I bet they're the fucking cream of the crop under water.

“Because the pressure squeezes in all the cellulite?”

No. No. There's no other girls. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You got it. You got it. Yeah. No competition. Like how many ladies?

Let's take guess at how many ladies are underwater at any given time? 20? Yeah. 10 percent. 10 percent.

Maybe they're likely well under 10 percent of submarines worldwide.

Yeah. With higher percentages in a few Navy such as US and some NATO allies, those are the ones that are in trouble. 699 signed a submarine in the US. 20.

Wow. 699 women get getting how many dudes hitting on them? Yeah.

Be underwater with a guy who's annoying you and you can't get away.

Can't get away. He's farting. Underwater sacks. Underwater farts must be a horrible. But what do they do with the shit?

They don't come up sometimes for months.

“Oh yeah, the trident's go out for I think a year almost.”

And so what do they do with their shit? They just ejected it. They ejected it into the sea. They're not doing anything a whale isn't doing. But do they eject it into the sea?

They have to. I mean, they can't make meatloaf. Can you imagine if like during that process somehow or another? It got clogged up for someone to use too much toilet paper from the subsyncs? Yeah.

Well fatty. Because he'll have the air just took a giant dump. They might melt it. They can rise up too. Don't forget they can blow into the nuclear pit with the edge of the managed trash by compacting

melting or jettison it to avoid detect weight. Okay, that's trash. You know about poop. Well, I'd suggest about poop. Yeah, that's about poop.

Just specifically because waste can mean, you know, paper cups. That's the same thing though.

I would always go now if you were a jettisoning your poop everywhere.

You might want to have detectors for human waste in the water. You might start figuring out where the substance. Maybe you don't want to do that. He's operating on the level. Yeah.

That's the 40s problem. This is a dude that's in Jamie's. Jamie's. Jamie's. He operates on other levels.

Tracking. Do you know that term can either confirm nor deny, came from a Russian submarine that was sunk that we were pulling out of the ocean. And they had to, they got questioned about it.

“And they said, are we in possession of this rubbish Russian sub?”

Are we pulling it out of the ground? And they said, we can either confirm nor deny because they had to answer. So that is an answer. That's an answer. That's an answer.

That's like.

You need to confirm nor deny.

That's a kid in the saying pleading the fifth. Sort of, but it's you actually are answering. You can neither confirm nor deny. That's like saying, I'm, what do you do for living? I'm in heating and air conditioning.

No, because that's a very specific thing. Well, they kind of counteract each other. What do you do? I'm in shipping and receiving. Are you sure?

I can neither confirm nor deny. I mean, this is an avoidance problem that, but I want to talk to you about my workout regime. Okay. Because you asked.

I did ask. I'm doing something so advanced. You do the ice baths, right? You, you soak in them. Yep.

So I'm doing something so extensive that I'm exercising myself into a new race. What are you becoming? And no one said this before on your podcast. I don't think. But I'm working out so hard to become a new race.

And two words, "Gera Rafa". You take your ice baths. "Gera Rafa", my guy. What is that? Jamie, look it up and do it quick, you hoar.

I mean, do it quick. (laughs) "Gera Rafa". Look it up. You becoming a fish?

Oh, that's not any fish. "Gera Rafa". People submers their legs and feet into the tanks. And the "Gera Rafa" have vibrating lips, Joe. And they eat skin cells.

Picture this underwater. So those are the ones like when you go into Thailand and ladies dump their legs into a fish pond. Right. Vibrating, letting your toes off. Joe?

Mm-hmm. And how are you working out to become one of those? So, well, you're taking your ice baths. Yeah. I'm submerging my whole body, my lower extremities into one of these tanks.

These fish are sculpting my body, my lower extremities. And have you ever heard of malaria pills? Yes. So, while everyone else is popping o zempic and doing everything else, I've been on malaria pills for four years.

And these things can flip your blood platelets. Okay, that's the power of malaria pills. They can actually change your red blood cell count and your white blood cell counts. Powerful medicine.

Okay. So, with the use of my malaria pills and the "Gera Rafa"

“and I don't know if you want to see the results, but my legs are hemorjact right now.”

Now, see, let's see. My legs are power strength. Take your pants off. Okay, come on. Okay, are you sure?

Yeah.

And I don't want anyone to accuse me of doing black leg.

(Bell ringing) I don't know if you've ever seen... The fastest man in the world is who? Who's same bolt? Who's same bolt?

“The biggest high jumper in the world is a black man.”

The longest, long jumper is a black man. The highest vertical jumper is a black man. And this isn't racist. This isn't black leg, but this is me. What are you doing?

Working out into a new race. I'm proud of that. Clean pants off. (Bell ringing) I won't be laughing if I were you.

See, its legs are jacked. (Bell ringing) (Bell ringing) Look at these legs. Why are they a different color?

Well, I told you I'm working out into a net and other race. There's no fucking serious leg muscles, man. Yeah.

Why do you get those leg muscles?

I told you. What's going on with your underwear? That's kind of crazy. What do you mean? What do you plan to wear?

What the fuck do you have on your legs? Dude, I told you I'm working out right into another race. Are those real legs? Yeah. That's very impressive.

You don't have like silicon over him or anything? No. No. Wait a minute. Why is giant leg muscles?

Why is it you can take your shirt off? I don't, I compliment you, but it's like your legs don't mess. They don't match up with the rest of your legs. Because the colors off. No, the muscles are crazy.

Stand up again. Yeah. Those muscles are insane. Yeah, look at these. Are those real?

Tell me the truth. They look like plastic. What are you talking about? It looks like you're wearing something. Jib.

Come on.

“Jamie, those are the most insane legs I've ever seen in my life, right?”

Right? If that was a guy weighing in at a UFC fight, that would make sense. Blood, go viral. Two words. Kara, rafa.

Why do you get those legs? Dude, I think if I sit in the tank, I'll get licks like that. Well, are you taking malaria pills? Oh, no. You do my combo.

Do you want to stand up? What is this pants? Is it? I mean. And look at the skin difference.

I'm not thinking. I'm not thinking. I'm not thinking. Sure. I can see where the skin changes color.

Excuse me? Well, see where the skin changes color. If you take your shirt off again, I will. But I just did. But I want to do it together.

You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. You. Rogan. What have you done?

Blah. She get those fucking pants. Oh. Don't fall in there. Don't fall in there.

A gourd. See all they got could fit in there with a gourd. Oh my god. Show.

What if first saw you legs?

I was like, what the fuck is going on? How does he have legs like that? I don't know if they're like that's a baggy pants on. Where the fuck did she get those pants? Good.

Why can't I look good? Yeah. It's great. God. You can wear those like to a pool.

Like a public pool. And the ladies would definitely be checking you out. Yeah. They're like, look at his gourd. Can I leave the gourd with the meat?

Please can we add to the clueless juice? I'm going to have people smell it. I'm going to tell him smell that. And then let's go. That was in Harlan Williams' pants.

Dude. Not even in his pants. It was like rubbing up against the scog. I'm going to leave that there for people to smell. Yeah.

Yeah. Next time someone comes in. I think what's other stuff here? I haven't first. I'm like smell that.

Can I pull my pants up? Yeah. Sure. Feels weird sitting there with my pants down. Well, you are wearing pants.

You wearing rubber pants. Wow. Rubber muscle pants. Come on. Don't you want legs like that for real?

Show. Do you want to be awesome?

“That's like me saying, don't you want to chest like that for real?”

You're hairy, then I thought. Really? Are you part of our menion? [gunshot] Are you?

No. No great. Hang on. I got to pull my pants up. [gunshot]

[gunshot] [gunshot]

[gunshot] Come on. Hold my hand. Hold my hand. [gunshot]

We're back in. [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot]

[gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot]

[gunshot] Do we have to blur it? No. No. It's a gourd.

“And you're worried about a song getting tinged?”

[gunshot] [gunshot] Oh my god. [gunshot] [gunshot]

It's silly.

Why the fuck are you all?

[gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot]

[gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] Oh my god. [gunshot]

Do you know how crying? Do you know how moist my balls are right now? [gunshot] You're a panic gourd but smell. [gunshot]

[gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] [gunshot] Oh.

[gunshot] As spring shifts into summer for a lot of people that means traveling. And planning.

“And making sure you're in the right shape.”

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[coughing] Oh my god. I am proud of you that you took your shirt off, because I'm not joking. You worked so hard for that. Thank you.

And you could never show it.

You had to have a conduit. You had to have someone invite you to do it, so it didn't look self-centered or conceited. You deserved to show that hard work to the world. Thank you. Good for you.

Thank you. And you look great. Thank you very much. You're welcome. I love it.

And I hope it's an inspiration to people watching to want to be as physically fit and put together. That's great, right? Sure.

“I feel like, remember when you were a kid, they had those books where you could take half”

of body and half of body, and remember they had little kids books to get full of. Yeah, you fold them over. I feel like if we took your upper part and put it on my lower part, we'd have the immaculate human being. And then those fart bubbles from the bottom of the ocean won't have a trouble coming around.

Yeah. You look like me and Joe Zachary Rogan. Those fart bubbles from the aerial line. Drench will come up and suck us at dirty lasagna. God.

Sorry. I get excited, Joe. Maybe it's the, like, forever chemicals leaking through the rubber under wayward. I'm not under where I'll tear you. That's the bad legs.

You take them off because you're sweating. That's leaching into your blood right now. All the BPAs. God. I don't want to die.

But you know what's interesting. My legs are bronze. And we don't talk about the bronze people.

We always talk about white and black.

What about the bronzes? The ink is the myas. I mean, these people and the legs on them. Did you ever see a pocket lip, though? And I don't know if this is in any history books anywhere.

But those bronzes could motor. Yeah. True. So I've got legs where if I'm being chased. If a rapist is coming after me,

I'm out of here. There's three men in this room. Two of you are getting raped. Not me. Wow.

Yeah. I mean, these legs. I could jump over, uh, Dolly Parton's gazebo. By the way, speaking of area-olies.

Have you seen hers? I haven't. They're the size of lily pads. How do you know? I had a one nighter with her about three weeks ago.

She's got a one night show. A one night stand. We were jackhammering all night. Think they're up at a bar in front of you. Hammer jack.

It was really dolly parton. It was parton. It was parton. Oh, she was at night. You sure wasn't a lady wearing a mask?

Dude, it was her. And her area-olies are the size of lily pads. I'm not kidding. I woke up in the morning. There were two bullfrogs sitting on her tits.

I'm not kidding. Why are you looking to be like that? She's cow old. You're fucking. Not for me.

Have you seen my legs? She's a very respected lady. I think it's very rude. Well, it's because I said- It's the way I said "affee".

We made love. Oh, cap of bed.

“We made love and her area-olies are the size of lily pads.”

I feel a lot better now. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I should keep it classy. Do you like them big, the big area-olies? Right.

Reminds me of a pancake. Sometimes I'll put a dollop of butter on it. It's a robust woman. Yeah. It's like a lot going on there.

It's big area-olies. Yeah. And the dark ones. And they're great to take with you camping. If you ever have a rubber raft and you get a hole in it,

you can rip one off and patch it. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. That's not all I was thinking. Well, you know, can't much.

Just bring it patch. Yeah, but if you don't have one, you can rip off a dirty area-olies. Yeah. That you're hoping you're going to get out of the woods. Well, if you can't send in your with a check, you got an area-olies.

Yeah, but what do you want? You're one area-olies. You have your life back. Possibly. They don't heal that good.

You could die from infection. It's about living. It's not about having an area-olies. You want to get out of the woods or not one-titty Jackson. Whatever your name is.

Okay. Tough love.

“Speaking of sacks, have you been on this only fancy thing?”

Have you gone on? No. I don't know. It's all I'm hearing about. Right?

All you hear about now is OliFans.com. Yep. They do comedy shows.

I finally go on this thing because it's all I'm hearing about.

OliFans.com. I go on about a week ago. And I'm on there for about two hours. And it's just a video after video after picture. There's so long my eyes are like spinning.

And finally I stop the damn thing. And I'm like screw this. I already have central air conditioning. Why the hell am I looking at this site? I don't need a fan.

I make good lord. I'll pull my legs out. I will pull my dirty bronze legs out and wrap it around your neck like a dirty and a condo. The fuck is wrong with you. You think of your woman?

You'd be doing only fans? You know, it's an interesting question. It's a moral, moral dilemma, isn't it?

“Let's imagine if Harlin was a female and Harlin was 21 and just got here from Canada.”

With these legs? With those legs. And now I have it on. Not a lot of wait is to make a living. But your cute desperate times call for desperate matters, Joe Rogan.

Hmm. You know, it's a serious question. And it's almost a sad one in today's world. It is. Because in the old days you had your sex industry sort of combined to the shadows.

And now anyone's daughter, cousin, niece, nephew that they can suddenly be exposed to the world in the most promiscuous way. But in the most profitable way.

That's the problem is also you get addicted to the money.

Let's imagine. It's imagine you're a lady. And you have a sight and you show your feet and stick things inside your butt or whatever you do. And you're making... What was that last part?

Stick stuff inside your butt. If you're a lady. Yeah. Like what? Some ladies.

They put like dildos in there and stuff. Okay. Have you ever seen that? No, but I'm just assuming it happens. Doesn't that happen, Jamie?

Sure. Have you ever seen a lady do that? I'm pure as a driven snowser. Joe. Not real life.

You haven't? No. Stick a rubber dick inside their butt hole. I'm never seen that. Why not?

I'm not interested.

You've never been through a car wash?

I have. What's the difference? It's a big difference. One of them is your butt where you shit out of and you're putting a rubber dick inside. The other one is you're getting your car washed.

You make a good point. Point is, if you're making, if you're doing all this and you develop the nice fan base, you're making 100,000 a month, 300,000 a month. Yeah. And then you don't feel good about yourself.

And what do you do? Do you just say about the money and quit? If you meet a nice guy and he's like, "So what do you do for a living?" You're like, "Well, let me tell you. I don't want to do it anymore.

But I take rubber dicks and I oil my butt hole up and I shove them in there. Uh, you know, HD camera, two inches from my butt hole. The guy said me tips. I think the subtext here, Joe, is what is the price you put on your dignity?

What is the price you put on your spirit? Because this stuff, it may seem fun in the moment. But you get down the road and it follows you. You know, we looked it up. Yeah.

Something crazy, like, 10% of girls aged 18 to 24 in the United States, or on only fans? This is a tough question and you can tell me to shut up if you want. Okay. You have a daughter, don't you?

I have three daughters. You have three daughters. I have four sisters. If what if your daughter's, I would not-- Told you, she was doing only fans.

What would your reaction be? I think I made a big failure as a parent. But how would you approach it with said daughter? Well, you would give them advice. First of all, your daughter or your son, or is a human being.

You don't own them. Right? Good point. Touch your point. Good point.

If you treat them like you own them and they have to listen to you,

they'll never listen to you and they're going to rebel.

This is just human nature. Excellent point. I'm with you so far.

“You have to give them advice, and you have to talk to them,”

and talk to them about the repercussions of what they're doing, and realize that this stuff will follow you. And some people are going to be fine with that. Look, there's some ladies that are like, "Look, I don't ever want to fucking regularly job.

I'm not-- I'm ashamed of my body." And maybe they're not sticking things up their butt. Maybe they just be a naked, and they're like, "This is way better than having a job." Fun.

What does it say here? Top 1%. Top earners make about $18,000 to $49,000 per year. Well, that's it. That's not much.

I could work a denies for that. What? Well, the top 0.1% make 100,000 per month, or 1.2 million annually. That's the top 0.1.

But the top 1% only make $18,000 to $49,000 a year. So imagine, you make an $18,000 or $49,000 a year. You're still living in poverty. There you go. If you make an $18,000 a year, you're poor,

and you are showing your pussy. And you're not a fan for it. Yeah. Wait a minute. But Joe, I know that you--

Look at that. You have a bit of a rage side.

“Like, Joe knows how to rage, because you're a fighter.”

You know how to go into that red zone. You're in a-- you can be an intimidating force. Is there a world where your daughter says, "Daddy, I'm doing this, and Joe just goes, "You're fucking not."

Like, is it-- Do you go into the red zone or-- Dad's not going to-- If you do that with your kids, they're not going to listen to you.

But what if you did it just because of the reaction where you were so mad or disappointed? I wouldn't leave you. That mad if someone was doing something terrible to them. Okay.

You're a good dad. Well, you have to-- I like what I'm here and here. You have to be a human. Yeah.

You're the other parent, but you're also-- You ought to understand human nature. I know people that yell at their kids, or I know kids that have been yelled at,

and they always resent that.

They're always angry. It's a stupid way to handle things. Something happened to you just now that I was not expecting today. What's that?

I got to see a side of you that I didn't know if it was there or not, because I don't know your family life, but I got to feel for a second dad vibes, dad love.

“And I think I sort of pictured you sitting with your daughter”

and being very reasonable and loving. Well, hopefully I never have to have that. I hope so too. But I see you as an understanding, nurturing dad in that moment.

I love that. I try to be. Yeah. That's the goal. I mean, if you want the relationship with your kids,

and, you know, my daughter's a teenager now too, and we've never gone through a period where you always hear these periods where the kids rebel against you and they hate you. Yeah.

That's never happened.

And I think it's probably never happened

because we always just communicate and I try to be as reasonable as-- I love it. I love it. I can't--

That's right. But I'll see you. You got to be very supportive too. Yeah. It's hard to be a kid, man.

It's even harder today. Today, the never before because of social media and all the pressures that they have faced. And then also this weird world that they're entering into,

where AI might be taking all the jobs. So they're like, what the fuck am I going to do? What am I going to do with my life? I love AI. Do you?

You're all in? I'm all in. What's your favorite part about it? I love it, Joe, because it's opening a door to creativity for everybody.

Now, a lot of people are being pessimistic and saying, it's taking away our creativity. But think about any art gallery you've ever been to. You go in, you see the Renwa, the Dega, the Dalai, all the usual suspects.

Van Gogh, Goia, all of them, right? Right. Those have all been placed there over the centuries as the art that we all know and have adopted. And that came from a select group of individuals

very talented contributed to our culture and our history.

through the course of history. Right.

“Now, think about a guy you bumped into working in the”

sprinkler aisle at Home Depot three weeks ago who's got a wife and kids and maybe doesn't have the opportunity or the wear with all to tap into his artistry. But now that guy and the guy had dunked in donuts and the girl that works at the car wash and every human being

now has a way to express their hidden talents. And so with AI, they can go home at the end of the night and press a few buttons and go, I imagine this thing and AI's letting me get it out and the world gets to see it. Same with medicine, same with inventions.

How many Elon Musk's are there that grew up in poverty

and never got the chance to expand on a concept or an idea

because they didn't have the means. But if AI starts to open these doors for every human being think of the barrage of incredible visual and conceptual designs that are going to come at us and a lot of them will probably be practical and actually work.

And the common man and woman didn't have access to that before. That's one way, look at that. That's one way. I love it. That's true. Example in my own life, I come from the animation world

and I like to write. And a few years back I pitched an animation idea around Hollywood and it got rejected. And so now me and a few of my friends in the dawn of AI are creating the same thing that got rejected

and we're going to put it out into the world we could have done it two, three years ago to cost us three million dollars. Now we're doing it for a few thousand. And it looks like a Pixar movie.

It looks like Pixar. So if you tell me that AI is an opening a whole new world, it's not true it is. It's letting all of us dig really deep and expose our gifts and our talents.

And yeah, there's always the downside.

But let's try and look at the good side of it too. I like what you're saying. Thank you, Joe. The downside is the people that don't want to be creative and they want to be a accountant or they want to be lawyers.

So they want to like those jobs. Stop. Stop. How about that accountant and a accountant because he can never tap into the artistry

that hides within him or the lawyer. But now after hitting the machines all day, he can go home and go, you know what? I never could have done this before. But I'm going to create an image,

a painting, a drawing in 10 minutes that I've always wanted to show the world. So that's what I'm saying. Even those pessimists can now throw off the demons

on their back that are inhibiting them.

And it's going to allow all of us to be so much more expressive. Okay. That's my take. Well, hopefully. I mean, that's a question like what do people do

if there's no more jobs and you just get money from the government because AI creates. So so many, so much abundant resources that no one has to work anymore.

“Are you going to find things to do that are interesting?”

Yeah. I was going to help you do that. I'll tell you this, Joe. In probably seven or eight years, I bet we're sitting here, me and you going. Remember AI, because we're humans, man.

We don't stop. People think AI is going to be the end of the line. It's just another stepping stone to our progression to where we're meant to go.

You believe in higher forces. I know that. So this is just one of the... important people thought I'm not getting a cell phone. I'm not getting on the internet.

I don't want a fax machine. But we just keep going. We're humans. We keep going up those stairs where adventurers, we're curious. We never stop.

And so AI is just another small thing. It's big as it seems now as robust as it seems. It's just a small step in the giant ladder that's leading this weird species that we are to a bigger, higher, distant place.

Hmm. Look at you, dude. You should do a seminar. I should show my legs again.

“You should tell everybody all these thoughts you have.”

Well, I'm telling right now we're sharing them. Yeah. But don't you think all these things we come up with are leading to something where we're meant to go? Yes.

I don't think we're all just here randomly and wars and fighting in this. I think it's all... We're the worker ants right now. And we're the platform for the future

work grants to get to the pinnacle that we don't even know what it is yet. And maybe there is no pinnacle. But whatever force created us, Joe, they want us to keep going.

That's why we search the oceans and the space and the moon and the planets. We're going to keep going. Yep. And AI is a tool for us to get there.

So you can be pessimistic. You can be like, oh, AI.

at the positive side of things? I agree with you about the direction that we're going. I think that's what I meant to do. Yeah.

I just think that we are in a time of insane change. And that makes people scared. It does. Yeah.

But you know, being scared almost makes us feel alive. Think about the most vibrant moments in your life. How about after 9/11?

Remember those days? Oh, yeah. People, people. It's like someone kicked the ant nest open. And we were all screwing around looking for the eggs.

The ants always preserve the eggs.

Yeah. But those eggs were our lives and our neighbors. We were talking and communicating. We're friendly with each other. That's right.

We realized the importance of a communal existence. Mm-hmm. We realized the importance of needing each other. Yeah. People get very complacent.

They need to be shook up every now and then. Yeah. And maybe AI, if there's one downside to it, it could maybe create a bigger cocoon forest because we'll have so much of our fingertips.

It may isolate us even more. But we have to look beyond all these weird parameters we said and go, what's the upside? What's it doing for us? Well, it's inevitable.

And it's going to happen no matter what.

“And I think people always figure out a way to be okay.”

Yeah. And I think that's going to happen. And there's going to be a time of great upheaval. And it's going to change a lot. But hopefully people will be alright.

And they're going to have to adapt and learn and grow. And we always have. And we always have. And we always will. And most likely it'll be better for everybody overall.

This idea that Elon keeps pushing is universal high income is that people will have plenty of money, abundant resources. And there's not going to be a problem of food, shelter, medical education. All that stuff's going to go away because of AI.

And the real problem be, what do you decide to do with your life? What do you decide to do with your time? Right. But you'll have the freedom to do whatever you want with your time. Just think about how little crime there's going to be.

If there's abundant resources and no one has to steal anymore. No more stealing. No more robbing. And no more poverty. Literally no more poverty.

I don't know if it's possible or if it is in 50 years or 100 years. But no more poverty is wild. No more poverty is a reality. Criminality, I think.

“You have to remember there's people who don't engage in criminality”

to make money. They engage in criminality as a passion. A lot of criminals like the process. They like the game playing. They like the herd and the chest moves.

They like winning. They like deceiving. They like drug dealing. Right. So they're going to be a big deal.

And a sign shows up in San Diego and pull the fucking coke bags out. Right. So when the back of our Mercedes. Yeah. They love that.

They love that. They like the idea of killing their competition. They like the idea of killing their competition. Yeah. It's a war.

So I think we'll ever transcend the criminal element of it. We could. We could. You never know though. If AI develops to the point where we have literal telepathy.

We could read each other's minds. You won't be able to plot any kind of guys like that anymore. Or.

And this is because I think it never ends.

Does AI design something to help us plot? You know what I mean? If you're a criminal. It just puts you in a simulation where you're allowed to do like grand theft auto. But in real life.

Yeah. You know, you're just locking. And then I said, you're in the streets of Chicago. Yeah. You want to know the street with a gun.

You shoot a guy and take his Mercedes. Yeah. And he's having a good time. But then he came back to real life. Yeah.

And it's fine. Everything's fine. Yeah. It's. This is what I like that it's it's so endless.

And it's going to take so many twists and turns. What is this question? It has that already happened. Are we in a simulation right now? Oh, yeah.

I think we talked about this last time. A lot of people think we are. I don't believe. I don't believe. I don't believe.

But can I take you back a second?

Take me back to the old days. Exactly. Picture pioneer village. Betty O'Connor, churning some butter down by the blacksmith's shop. Kyle McGivens.

Shave and timbers to build a log cabin. Oh. Amish.

“Do you think that those people who were in covered wagons?”

And were us just the old version of us? Do you think they ever pulled the covered wagon to the side of the trail and went? Hey, Jedia. Do you think we're in a simulation? Like, I think we've created this simulation talk because we do have all this computer.

And, you know, we're in this world now that that's full of contraptions. Can't let me ask you. But I don't think we're in a simulation.

Are you sure the pioneer days even haven't?

Wow, you got me, son of a whore. You don't walk it off the show. I walk it off the show. Fuck you. And this is a simulation.

Hey, rubber legs. Get the fuck out of here.

“The only guy to walk off your show with fake legs.”

I mean, if you think about it, we think that the pioneer days happen. We can go to the museum and we can see the pioneer day wheels. What's about the butter churn and joe? The sweet butter churn. There's a bunch of people that studied it in universities allegedly if they're real people.

I don't even know the real. I don't even know if you're real. Why would you have rubber legs? This doesn't make sense. You showed up here with rubber pants and a gold over your cock.

It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I don't even think I'm real anymore. You might not be. Good point. For real for real.

I think we're real.

I think it's not a simulation.

I don't know. How do you make a simulation? Like how what we're just, we're all like pixels right now. There's too much. DMT laser thing.

What do you make? So when people smoke DMT, apparently if you use like a default construction laser, you know those lasers, they use to make sure things are level. Yeah, yeah. If you get above that laser and look down on it,

you see code in the later in the laser. Like matrix code. Like the number code. It's like okay. And people see the same code.

They describe it exactly the same. Okay. And so people see it. If you look to the side, you look underneath it. Look, you see the code in the laser.

And people think that this laser is exposing the code of the simulation that we live in. This is supposedly what it looks like. I mean, I just am not there. You see symbols in like weird number. I haven't done it.

If I see the whole drum set, I'm in, but if it's just the symbols, forgot it. I haven't done it, but I know a lot of people who've done it. And everyone that I know that's done it, it's had the same thing. They said it is fucking insane.

DMT? No, yeah, but DMT with this laser thing. So when you look down the laser, everybody that I know that's done it say, it blew their fucking mind. You see all these weird symbols.

They look like hybrid glyphs or some foreign language or numbers. And it's very bizarre. I don't know. It just seems to me why run us through the drama of a life. A human life where we're born.

We endure pain, illness, suffering, love, hate, all the emotions. Just to be as a simulation. I don't, I don't get the reason for that. What's the reason for it? It's not a simulation.

It's organic. It's just organic life. But okay, what is organic? It's made of the earth born of the environment.

“Right, but isn't that like this entire computing process?”

We're single cell organisms figured out how to become multi cell organisms. Figure out how to interact with their environment. Figure out the ecosystem figured out how to balance itself off with both predator and prey and food and water and resources. Right, but it's so very intricate and delicate. Right.

You have to bring into the question. Was it organic or organic under the guise of a bigger creator? Well, maybe the bigger creator is the simulation itself. You're not broken. And maybe the problem?

Maybe the problem? I'm out. I'm out. Take them rubber legs and get the fuck out there.

Maybe the problem is calling it a simulation.

Yeah. Maybe it's not that it's not real. Yeah. But that there is an underlying program that's running. Maybe instead of thinking of a simulation.

Because you think of it as simulation. You think of it as not real. Like when I slap my arm, it hurts a little. Like that's real. Right.

If I knock my knee, that hurts. It's not that it's not real. But that you're, it's running a program. And this program, what we talked about earlier, when you're saying that people are moving towards something bigger and the new version of what we are. Yeah.

Maybe that's a part of the program. Maybe the program is that all of these different components have to work together. This is why we'll never get rid of evil. You need evil. So they appreciate good.

You want rainy days. So you appreciate the sunshine. You want like good times and bad times.

“You have to have a little bit of bad times.”

So you appreciate the good times. You have to have some days where you feel like shit. So you appreciate good days. You have to have bad friends. So you appreciate really good friends.

Okay. All that stuff bounces itself out and it's moving towards something. And what is it moving towards? The thing that we're involved in right now, AI. It's moving towards the creation of a new life form.

That's far more intelligent than we are. And it's probably a part of this whole process. Okay. It's valid. I like what you just said.

But I'm going to expand on it a little.

You're coming at it from a human perspective where you're channeling it through a human mind,

which is beautiful and endless. And we can think beyond, you know, the scope of who knows where our imaginations are. Uh-huh. But that's because we're humans and we have the capacity. But to the schools of salmon spawning up the river and the moose fighting with a grizzly bear right now.

And the ants running around and they're nested. Do you think that why would they be part of a simulation? And I don't think I don't think they're living entity. Think simulation.

“I don't think you have to say simulation.”

I think it's a program. And I think all those other different creatures are part of the ecosystem. Like you need the bears. You need the salmon. You need the deer.

You need the vegetation. You need the animals that that run through the the grasses and shit on them and make the newer. All that stuff feeds up and we exist in that thing. And we're moving in this direction of technological innovation and moving towards this new future that's happening right in front of ours right now. But there's so many processes and what you just said.

And it says why have them all?

Why not just because it's pop us down as humans. No. And we don't need trees and grass. We just live in kind of a vacuum as they built airspace. No, no, no, no.

We still do our jobs. But we don't. Why do we need all that? Why do we need mosquitoes and and slugs and fungus? Like I know why we need them biologically to make everything symbiotic.

But if it's just a you just said it. If it's just a thing. If it's if it's it's not real. Why do we need you keep saying that and I'm not saying that. It's not not that it's not real.

It's a program. We're running a program. It's clearly real. What is real? What real is the experience it has real consequences for your actions.

You feel things, you touch things, you eat, you sleep. You need, you have resources. That's it's all real. You're asking the guy with fake legs. What's real?

You have a fake tattoo. Two. Two. Oh, belly. I mean, it's like, no, I like this.

It's like where you go. I don't know if it's fake. But what I'm saying is it might be a program that runs that makes people and those people eventually make AI. And that might be the whole purpose of the program.

But we might be in the middle of it. We're in the middle of it. We were born at a time. You and I were both born at a time where none of this existed. We got to experience life without any of it.

“Remember when answering machines first came out crazy.”

Yeah. You used to make a leave a message. Yeah. Then the crazy one was answering machines that you could call your answering machine and get a message. Oh, yeah.

From another point of view, press in your code. And it was like 12 numbers. Yeah. And you memorize them because we got a dick to do it. And then you could listen to your messages. Yeah.

And you could even press pound and star. Stay back. Yeah. Remember those days? You have five messages.

Oh, somebody likes me.

I remember when I'd go do a gig and the second I'd get off a plane.

And a lot of your viewers won't know what this is. I'd run directly to the pay phone in the airport. And I'd put my messages instantly. Yeah. That was technology back then.

We were living on the edge back then. And by the way, I'm not refuting or denying everything you're saying. But I'm pushing back a little because I can see it stimulating you to think deeper. And I like hearing your commentary on it. I like it that you're you're if I push back a little.

It makes you dig deeper to make your point. And I like it. I like what I'm hearing coming from you. But I like what you're saying too is about simulation. Like the idea that it's fake.

I don't think it's fake. Yeah. I think it's a real thing. It's obviously a real thing if we're experiencing what is real. Are your dreams real?

Yes. Is sleep real? Yes. These are real things. Whether or not you could put it on a scale.

Yeah. Doesn't mean it's not real. So I don't think the simulation term is the best term. Yeah. I think it's a program.

“I think we're running a biological program.”

I think a biological as being separate from like math and being separate from like subatomic particles and the fucking confusing quantum world. I don't think it's separate from it at all. I think it's all just one big super complex program that's running that if done properly and we're experiencing it right now, it leads to the creation of artificial life. Okay. And even artificial life's a bad term.

Is it not artificial with all that being said where do you visualize the data center being if it's a program? Is it off planet? Is it off galaxy? Is it invisible like doesn't there have to be a data center if we're a program? No.

Or how does it just the universe? The universe itself. I think the universe itself. I think the universe itself is a program. I think it runs from the beginning of the big bang to the formation of neutron stars.

Have you seen her last name?

Daller. Daller. A barely no or. Amazing lady. Why?

Why? Like we're gonna ask a cosmologist where she's an astronomer. And we were talking about like neutron stars. Like the insanity of neutron stars and how they've been space and time. They work gravity around them.

It's like, yeah. These things all exist out there in the universe. They do.

“I think it's all a part of this program and I think this program is running on other planets.”

I think there's other life forms that are doing very similar things. Look. I like the debate. I like your take on it. I just still struggle with the.

The the technicality of it all. Uh-huh. I just don't.

But just tell the quality of it all.

If it's just biological life. Let's say it's just random. Yeah, all this stuff is random. Water rain down bacteria turned into fucking. Who me was platypus is whatever.

It all just happened. Slowly but surely. That makes less sense. That makes less sense. Then a slow program that's running from literally the beginning of single-celled organisms.

Literally the beginning of the formation of planets. That this is like a natural cycle that happens everywhere in the universe. There's a reason why these these suns spin around and spit out plasma. And that that stuff coalates in space. Yeah, yeah.

Coalesses in space. Yeah. You know, um. Terence Howard. The actor.

Yeah, he was here. Very eccentric guy. Yeah. He had a a theory that I can't stop thinking about. What is it?

Things that planets are formed. Because the suns eject particles over time. And that these stars eject. We see those. Plasmodations and the big solar jet and all that.

You think that material eventually gets out into space. Eventually forms planets. Coalesses when the planets get further from the sun. Further enough from the sun. They people.

“And I think that's what what happens to earth.”

You get a certain distance. And then life evolves. And then it tells you life evolves. And then eventually these planets people. And then they get too far from the sun.

They can no longer support intelligent life. They can no longer support life. So then the people have to get intelligent enough. By the time the planet's far enough away. Where they've figured out a way to bypass all the problems of living on a planet that doesn't have an environment.

And living on a planet doesn't have water. They've bypassed all that. They've moved into the next realm of existence. And now they can travel interstellar and do all that kind of crazy. I wouldn't refute that theory.

It's a good theory. I think it's a good theory. I mean, it could explain how we're even here. Yeah, and also could explain the weird shit on Mars. Wait a minute.

That Mars at one point in time might have had life. Yeah. The dry lake beds and the structures. Have you ever seen the structures on Mars? Oh, that face.

No. Have you seen the big square? No. Okay. James, I'll show you.

There's this weird thing on Mars. By the way, it's in the same area of Sidonia where that face is. The face doesn't look like a face to me. Yeah. It's the shadows that make it look like a face thing.

Yeah. It doesn't look like a face in the early images. But this stuff is fucking weird. Like that's weird. Is that the Glendale Galleria?

It is. But it's God.

Five million years ago on Mars.

So your your saying because geometrically it's a perfect square. Yeah. You think it's a look with that looks like man. That's nuts.

“Like when when do ride angles like that that are in the same distance for each other?”

Yeah. That's very existing nature. That's crazy. And if they determine what those bumps are or those rock structures or they don't know. They don't know how big it is because it's somewhere between 300 meters is like the small estimate.

But it might be as far as like a couple of miles. Yeah. If you don't know how big it is. Look at that thing. What the fuck is that?

Yeah. What the fuck is that? There's a bunch of these things on Mars that are just really weird. If at one point in time I'm talking millions of years ago. Hundreds of millions.

Who knows? Yeah. How much would be left? Yeah. How many let's put this into a perplexity Jamie?

How many ancient civilizations have myths about or instead of do any. How about this? Not not how many do any ancient civilizations have myths about Mars. It's perfectly feasible. Totally feasible.

Yeah. Like if you think about it, several ancient civilizations have myths or religious associations tied to Mars, usually because they saw it as a bright reddish. And sometimes I'm going to say, hey, don't man's playing to me, bro. Ancient Romans identified Mars with their God of War. Okay.

Do any ancient civilizations have a myth about people coming from Mars?

See, that is.

Do any have myths about humans coming from Mars?

You could just do a follow-up question at the bottom there. Here we go. Don't, don't, don't, don't. What do you think? Yes?

Wow. Here goes. No. The civilizations did not have myths about humans or people coming from Mars. Well, Mars has been central to mythology across many cultures.

These myths focus on Mars as a deity or celestial object. Not as humanity's origin point. What is that one tribe? Is the dogon people? They have a weird origin story from another planet.

The dogon? Yeah. We're going to try it. We're going to try it. Origin story.

I don't know. No. I don't know. The docons. Wow.

I think it's somewhere in Africa.

Sounds like they're broke, whoever they are. Mally, they have a complex creation myth centered around Amna. The supreme creator God who lived in the celestial regions as was the origin of all creation. In their cosmology, the stars present Amma's bodily parts with the constellation Orion called the seed of heaven. Or Amma's naval.

“So I think they have this origin story from, whoa, what is this?”

The send it to earth in an arc suspended from heaven by a copper chain. Okay. Look at this. According to dogon mythology, Amma created the earth and then split himself in two, creating Ogo representing disorder and normal representing order.

Ogo descended to earth along the Milky Way with which the dogon belief connects heaven. And believe connects heaven and earth and created havoc. To restore balance, Amma created nomo and gave him eight assistants consisting of four pairs of twins. These eight beings also called the nomo became the ancestors of the dogon people and descended to earth in an arc suspended from heaven by a copper chain. Okay, whoa, is that story?

I think we're accidentally reading a children's book, Joe. The dogon people. The dogon people. I think there's a lot of people that have like weird origin stories that involve extraterrestrial life. Yeah, I mean, there is.

I mean, are you running that through human evolution? Yes. Because if you run it through human evolution, extraterrestrial life doesn't necessarily match up with like homo erectus and, you know, neanderthal man and things like that in what way?

“Well, I get this sense that extraterrestrial life is far more advanced and technological going back to what you were talking about at the bottom of the ocean,”

whereas our ancestors were primal, right? So how do the two collide? I'm a bit confused. Well, what if they created us? They created us as primates and watched us evolve as an experiment?

Yeah, what if you, like, let's imagine this. We talked about like, I mean, if we showed up and we found a planet and it was filled with like ancient primates. Yeah. Ancient hairy man that had just figured out stone tools. Okay.

I'm worth it. I'm right there, guy.

Do you think the let's not say American scientists, we would never do this?

Do you think perhaps like Chinese or Russian scientists might do some things with them and try to make them more advanced? In terms of biological experimentation. Are you sharing? Genetic engineering. I don't know.

I mean, I mean, I will answer for you. Yes. You think they will? For sure. They're just cave people.

They don't even have any civilization. Well, let's just do whatever we want to them because we're far more advanced. Do you know that there was a point in time with the Russians. We're experimenting with people and trying to make a human chimpanzee hybrid for war. Is that right?

Yeah. This is after World War Two. They were trying to make hybrids. So so many Russians died during World War Two. I mean, Russia lost a lot of fucking people.

Yeah, they did. And there was a program that they do a lot of things where they just run it up the chain. Like, what do you think? If we do this, what if we do that? You know, what if we make a nuclear bomb?

“What if we make a plane that doesn't have any radar signal?”

What if we make instead of our soldiers dying? What if we make a hybrid just for war? We know chimpanzees are incredibly strong and they're smart and they're very violent. So what if we made an incredibly strong, very violent species that's more intelligent

But that seems like a lot of work for something that's hiding behind a modern weapon.

“Because whether you have an insane chimpanzee behind a machine gun or a guy that was an accountant”

and got drafted, it seems like the weapons doing the work, the biological entity. Yeah. But if the chimps stronger and faster and they can get to places where the accountant can't and they can charge into them in the middle of the night because they could see it night time, there's a lot of things that you could do with chimps that were hybrids.

Yeah. But what was the extent of that program? Let's find out. He, the guy that did it was also then arrested. I'm trying to figure out, well, of course he was arrested.

But it has a fucking psychopath. Well, he was the same doctor from a row rang a bell. It says he was funded by Soviet authorities to set up experiments. I'm like, well, for these private, you know, or did, well, official. I would imagine if I was a deleter of Russia at the time.

And this guy said, Mr. Prime Minister, I have a program. I am currently considering in operation where I will be able to make soldiers that are increasingly strong, much faster that retain human characteristics like the ability to communicate and to engage in warfare with weaponry. But there would be much faster, much stronger and more importantly, not people.

We won't mourn for them like our brothers and sisters. We will breed them in laboratories. We will make millions of them arm them and send them out against our enemies. Are you coming on to me? A little bit. I got hard talking about this.

Wow. So he successfully did a bunch of stuff in the early 1900s. What successfully? Not not any human hybrids. There. And so they say he was a pioneer in artificial insemination as well. He conducted experiments involved artificially inseminating horses to create superior offspring for imperial Russia.

And this work earned in recognition from the Bolsheviks. Even off was not satisfied with merely enhancing a species, though. The characterization became his obsession. And he was soon crossing zebras with donkeys, cows with bison, and several different species of rodents. With each other, in 1910, he brashly declared he could see a human ape hybrid in the future.

“Isn't this gene splicing though? Have you ever heard of a ligar?”

Mm-hmm. But ligars are just hybrids. That's just they breed with each other. A male tiger, a female lion, or the opposite. I don't forget which one.

Right.

But the problem is the reason why ligars are so big.

It's, I think it's the male tiger or the male lion, which everyone is the male. It has the gene that regulate size. And when they have the hybrid, that gene doesn't, doesn't transfer. And so the ligars just keep growing. They're cute.

Fushing gigantic. I might have fucked that up, but I don't think I did. Even off imported chimps to Russia, inseminating unpaid Soviet women with their sperm. Eight, though none can see because humans and chimps chromosomes are incompatible.

Interesting. Imagine you're a fucking Soviet lady. And you're like, what is this job? You light them with your legs open. Yeah.

And you stick something inside of you. And you get a loaf of bread. What the fuck?

“We give you a vulnerable snowman in your womb.”

How much did they know about genes back then? Genes and chromosomes. So what year was this? 1920. Did they, when did they discover chromosomes? Yes, we just, we didn't mind not to even know.

Helium was on earth. Right, that's right. That's right. Yeah, they thought Helium was only in the sun. Wow.

When did they discover chromosomes? Let's find that out. Let's take a guess, Harlan. I'm going to say, I'm going to say in the, 40's.

I'm going to go a little later. I'm going to say 50's. Okay. Almost say 57. I'm going to say 42.

I am purely guessing, though. Me too. Yeah. What you mean by that is kind of, that's very vague. They could have known about them, but like, to what detail and how many there were.

Well, this is, um, just put that perspective. I did, but like, it's given a vague answer. And the 1800's sort of knew about it. But to what detail isn't till the 19. Okay.

Chromosomes are first observed as distinct structures in the cell nuclei in the 1800's.

Well, that's pretty distinct. They're talking about it in the cell structure. So they must have been looking at them with microscopes. Um, once good light microscopes became available. So that's the 1800's.

Through work linking chromosomes to Mendel's law of inheritance. It's 100 years of guessing, what's the, what we're guessing about now that we don't know. Right. It could mean they could have been completely wrong for 35 years and then sort of closed for 10. Right.

Wrong again for 20. And then it's was like, oh, nope. That's what it is. Yeah. Wild, right?

It's wild. How long it took. Well, see, this comparison to today. This goes back to AI Joe giving access to the average. To be able to dig into this stuff.

Because it might be the guy in IL 12 at home. Deepo, who discovers some of these probing answers. You know, yeah. That's what I love about. It might be like, you know, hitting a bomb sitting home.

Talking about Chad G.P.T.ing. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me how to make a human monkey hybrid. Exactly.

So this guy. Um, so it's a night. Pull it back up. I was reading about him. I started to say that American backers started sending him somebody to another course.

They want to get those voted fucking crazy chip people to call me crazy. But I get the feeling you would like to see one of those. 100%.

Because physically it would have to look incredible.

Being saying, imagine if you get a like a Viking like a Brock Lesnar, Gene, you know, splice it with a chimpanzee gene. Uh, you have a giant like Thor from Game of Thrones, the mountain. Game of Thrones. Imagine that guy splicing that guy's genes with the chimpanzees genes.

So you keep going to chip, but what about a silverback gorilla, which is even. They're not violent. They're very calm. They're vegetables. They're their vegans.

Whereas chimps are pack hunters. They eat other monkeys. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're way more violent. Yeah.

They're way more like us. We're way closer to chimps than we are to grill us. Yeah, we are. Yeah. We're closer in our behavior.

Like they engage in war. Yeah. They have tribal war. They go after tribes. They start new civilizations.

But if you're splicing two entities together, you've got the human brain that's, you know, we're sort of wired to be violent. But you just take the physicality of the silverback and marry them together. There's just as worried to be violence. We are, buddy.

What? Chips? No, I'm saying the silverback.

“Uh, you think you have a bigger physical body with our mind?”

But maybe they'll just chill. They just go to Miami. A new delivery of chimps to a nursery in 1930. But in the light of the questionable ethics and zero progress, even off was arrested and exiled the Kazakhstan, where he died two years later.

Some of the apes and monkeys that outlived him were launched into space. What's this button?

You imagine, you imagine you're, and a first they make you fuck some lady.

And then they shoot you off in a space. Well, you were just eating bananas. Have a good time in the jungle being a regular chimpanzee. And these mother fuckers. They put fuck some janitor and then shoot you into space.

The janitor successfully implanted an ovary and a few of them. Oh, God. Wow. Fucking psychos. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, they've done over the course of history. The Germans, the Japanese, the Chinese, and times of war. They did the most horrific experimentation. They did everything you could do. They, they'd see how long it would take for a human body to die.

If you boil it and skin people. And the, the things that have been done, the aberrations that have happened are crazy. But this is, this is interesting.

“This is almost the basis for a movie, I think.”

Well, it could absolutely happen today. This is where it gets weird. Because now with CRISPR and with gene editing. How many years are we away from them being actually able to do that? They're actually able to take whatever genes you have in a person, whatever genes you have in a chimpanzee.

Pick which ones, which things you want to do and make a life form. I like it. We don't have the dire wolves now, right? Yeah, the dire wolves. I saw them.

I went to visit them. You did, are they pure? Are they 100% pure? Are they are, are they a version of a modern day wolf mixed with a dire wolf? It's a really good question.

So that is the question that people always use to dismiss, or that is the statement that people use to dismiss what they've done.

Right. Actually creating dire wolves. When I talked to the woman who's the head geneticist, the way she said is, these distinctions. Like what we call something a dire wolf, what we call something a pug, whatever these things are. These are our creations.

And that the genetics are the same. Like this animal looks like a dire wolf because it is a dire wolf. Okay. And some of those genes are in wolves. Some of those genes are in the biological tissue that they got from like 1000 year old.

“Like how old was the tissue that they got from a dire wolf that they used for colossal?”

I feel like some of it was like 10,000 years old.

Where did they find that tissue?

What country? They find in America. You get it. Like when they find fossil, they find like a dead animal. They find something that they can get out of it, but they can get some DNA.

Yeah. And they've managed to get the actual DNA of a dire wolf. So 13,000 years old, a tooth from Sheridan Pit, Ohio, and a 72,000 year old skull from American Falls, Idaho. So wow. So they get the genes.

They make a map. I'm just I'm butchering this. I'm sorry if you're scientists. I'm sorry to all the people that colossal. Yeah.

You make a map of what it means to be a dire wolf based on this stuff because you have these samples. And then you choose those genes. You add those genes to a gray wolf and then you turn it into a fucking dire wolf. And they're all white. And they have a main like a lion, which they didn't know they were going to have.

Like not big as a lion, but it's a pronounced main. Huh.

And they look different, man.

They're weird.

“Are they bigger in size because they were semi prehistoric?”

They're bigger. They're just a bigger than a timber wolf. Wow. Yeah. They're like a 200 pound wolf.

And they're built different. They're built different. Yeah. They're more stocky. And they look different.

What's their jaw structure like? Is it bigger? Bigger stronger. It's a bigger, more ferocious animal that lived at a time where it was. What does the term dire mean?

Do we know? Dire wolf. That's a good question. What does dire? What's find out why the calm dire wolf?

Yeah. I have no idea. Just sounds dope. I wonder if they ever get sick if they become dire real wolves. Is that where you go with that?

No. I really do want to know. That just came to me. That just came to me. But I do want to know where dire comes from.

What it means. Fearful or terrible. The Latin words "dyrus" meaning "feel fearful or terrible" or awe-inspiringly dreadful. Bro, back then when those things were around and people were around at the same time, you imagine how fucking rough would be during the woods and you're camping out with your

buddy and you see a packet. Dire wolves have recognized you and you know it's over. Well the thing with wolfs though Joe and you probably know this wolfs traditionally don't hunt down human. That's not true. Huh?

That's not true at all. I don't know is there any record of a human being killed by a wolf? 100%. There's record in a lot of times. Oh, that's not true.

That's the reason why they eradicated him from the west coast. I thought that was because there were there was nabbing the cattle. No, they were killing people too.

“That's what the Big Bad Wolf and the little-word botting hood is all about.”

They would kill your kids. Those stories were about avoiding wolves because wolves were dangerous. They're deadly. Do you know the World War I, the Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire? Because so many of them were getting killed by wolves in Siberia.

Really? That they decided to have a ceasefire killed the wolves and they go back to kill each other. Because my experiences wolves are very trepidacious of humans. They fear them and kill boys to them. Because we killed most of them.

But that one changed their hunting instinct. Now, if there were still packs roaming wild and free, if you don't kill the instinct out of them. Because then you'd kill their instinct to kill an elk or... If you've seen wolves, you've seen wolves in Canada.

Yeah. They hunt them in Canada. Yeah. Yeah. That's why they're trepidacious.

That's why they're nervous about people. Can we look up how many humans have been killed by wolves? Very rare. Mostly happened in Europe and Asia. Yeah, see it's not common.

It's because we killed them all. Hardland. They're not around anymore. That's the whole point. The reason why they got killed off was because they were a fucking problem.

It's not because, you know, people are evil and it was a terrible idea. It's because they wanted to live. And they knew that the wolves were fucking killing everybody.

“I think the problem was they were killing their domestic cattle.”

100%. But not the people. No, my people too. Really? Yeah, they don't have rules, man.

They know predators. Also think of it every living species. Why is it? I can go to a park. And a blue J and a squirrel and a deer and a bunny can be just fine.

Completely different species. But then a little boy walks up a human and they all just go, shh. There's this driven instinct in all animals to fear us, which breaks my heart. Because most of us are loving and want to cuddle and connect with animals. But even insects, dragonflies, hummingbirds, nothing wants to be near us.

And so wolves also, all animals are trepidacious of humans. It's sad, but it's true. And if that's part of the bigger program we've been talking about, what does it say about us?

First of all, animals are not trepidacious of humans.

Have you ever walked up to a wild animal? I've walked up to a lot of wild animals. Right up to you being silly. Okay, so realistically, all those animals you said blue J deer, those are all animals that he plants. Okay, if a dog showed up, they would run.

Any animal that's a predator is going to scare them. Whether it's a human, we have eyes in front of our face. The reason why you have eyes in front of your face like that is because you're looking to go after something.

So all those animals, like deer and all these little cute little animals, they're all prey.

“Right, they're all super sketchy with anything that has eyes in front of its face.”

It's looking at them. Right, we are a fucking predator. But it would be the same. It was a coyote there. It would be the same of a dog was there.

If a cat or a big cat or a lion was there, if they saw it, they would all freak out. Because they're prey. Yeah, wolves have killed people. Fact one hundred percent all throughout time. I'm just saying they catch you alone.

They catch you in the woods. And if you and five of them, they will kill you. It's it's it's we're not on their dietary list though. Because you're not well. Because you're not in the area.

Because you're not in the area. You're killed by a killer whale. Only it's he world. Right. Because they, well, that's different.

So why that's a living mammal. Yeah.

But there's a million people in the ocean every day.

But there's two brown towers. There's an orca killing a human. No, because they're trepidacious of it. No, they're super intelligent. They're wolfs and coyotes.

And not trepidacious of it. They help us. They can be scared of you. I know.

“But I'm just saying it's not common for wolves and apex predators to go after humans.”

It happens. But it's not common in wolves. They're very skiddish animals. Okay. They're skiddish if they're round people.

And they think the people might have a gun. If you're in the woods, wolves are not skiddish of you. They're thinking about what they're going to do to you. And whether or not they're going to eat you. If you have a rifle and you're in the woods and they hear the boom go off.

They're going to get the fuck away from you. They don't know what a rifle is. I'm just saying there's an extinct and instinctual fear of humans for whatever reason. Do this on true. Most critters avoid us.

Even fish of all predators. All predators. All of them. Yeah, but look at the planes of Africa. You'll see a wildebeest and a zebra.

Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't know if you've walked out in the wild of Africa. You're done. Yeah. Because you have lions.

Because you're left birds. You're right there. All those animals are freaking out too until one gets taken out. Right. This is the Joseph Campbell story of the hero.

Like one gets taken out. The other ones got wild. He did it for us. Because the lions are eating that one antelope. They're going to leave you alone.

You can relax for a little bit. Yeah. That's what it is. I'm just saying.

They're never calm around lions.

They run. That's why they run. Right. But I'm just saying wolves are probably more inclined to step around us than attack us. They are more inclined to do whatever they need to do to survive.

They will. They're opportunists. And if it's attacking your sheep, then they'll attack your sheep. Right. If it's killing your dog.

They'll kill your dog. If it's killing you. If you're 20 miles into the back country and you're camping alone. And you don't have a weapon. And a pack of wolves shows up.

And they haven't had anything to eat for a few days. They'll take you down. They'll take you down. But I'm just saying. I'm just trying to instill into you with all this programming talk.

There's something programmed into all the other species on this planet. There go. Whoa. There's a fucking human.

You're going to step around us a lot.

No, you're wrong. Not that they won't. No, it's hell us. But it's anything that's coming near them. They get away from.

Right. The reason why they're scared of people is because they have experience with people. That's what they do. Yes, wolves do. Well, wolves in Canada, they get shot at or afraid of people.

They know that people have the gun. The guns make the boom. They're smart. A bunch of them die. They see one of them die.

They learn that. They see the gun. They see the stick. They run away from the guys. So they stay away from people because people might kill their family members.

They pack members. It happens. I think we're. That's when they hear us on this one. No, listen.

There's a difference between the way bears react. In say Alaska, then bears react in Montana. So in Montana, you can't hunt grizzly bears. So grizzly bears are not afraid of people. Because generation after generation after generation after generation have not been hunted.

Right. When bears see you in Alaska, that's generation after generation after generation that have been hunted. And they react very differently. They're like, get the fuck away from the people. Right.

“But unless they don't know you have a gun and sometimes you have to scare them off.”

But if they're used to being around people with guns, they associate people with danger. Yeah, that's kind of Pavlovia. That's like when they're not when they're not like a Montana. But in raw wild bears are quite skiddish. I've been around them.

I have two men. It depends on the bear. It depends on whether it's a mother with her cubs. They're not skiddish. They're not skiddish.

They're not skiddish. They're not skiddish. They're protective. They're no longer hunting. But I'm just saying that there's an element to sadly.

Our human existence that scares a lot of critters. Most animals can exist together in the same area. And yeah, when an apex predator approaches, the zebras will run.

But when a human walks in, you know, we can't walk up to critters and just pat them.

You can't in the Galapagos. Okay. Are we? No. Are we having a fight?

We can't walk up to a general. All right. My legs are round you. So fast. It's not uniquely human's man.

“It's all animals are worried about something that wants to eat them.”

Right. That's a real part of their existence. It's all animals. If you let your dog loose and you let it around while animals. They fucking run like crazy, man.

They run way more than they do with a person. Let me rephrase it. If a wild animal comes up on a deer, a predator prey scenario. Uh-huh. Instinctually they know a predator goes into stalking mode.

The deer's gone. Right. But if a human me or you go, oh, look at the deer.

And we try to walk towards it with nothing but love and affection.

And we just want to pet it and it's gone. And that's what I'm saying. You're not saying shit. Because the same thing would happen. You're not making any sense.

Yes. Of course the deer doesn't want you to pet them. Doesn't fucking know you, man. What do you nuts? Right.

But they just, they just flee. They don't flee. They don't flee with the dogs. I have deer in my neighborhood. And when they see me, they don't give a fuck.

They don't care about your car. You're driving in a car.

“You could stop the car and roll the window down.”

Go, hello, Mr. deer. Yeah. They just fucking stare at you. All like that. They saw a dog.

They fucking run. They run like crazy. Even my golden retriever, my sweet golden retriever Marshall. Yeah. They run like crazy from him.

They blow. They make those crazy. Yeah. They fucking take off. They stamp their feet.

They're scared of predators, dude. They're not scared of people in my neighborhood. Because no one's eating them in my neighborhood. It's their conditioning. I don't know.

I'm just talking about that. You're just sticking. You're stuck on an idea. No. People are bad.

The people are uniquely bad. I wish we could just go hug the poor. No. I'd say people are bad. I'm saying that animals have something in their brain that they don't trust us.

Because we're the apex. Yeah. We're the top of the food chain. But it's it's just sad that it's not. It's way better than being at the bottom of the food chain.

Way better than us. Like fucking wondering through the woods. If your kids are going to get eaten by a fucking wolf. Because some greeny dipshit decided to report them back into the wild. We need to rewire the wolves or back in the wild.

You know, they just dropped them off in Aspen. These dumb motherfuckers. They dropped them off on a cattle ranch. And all they're doing is eating the cows. So now they have to have cowboys 24/7 riding horses.

Because the governor's husband thought it would be a cute idea to drop off wolves in Colorado. And they reintroduce them to an area that has agriculture. They reintroduce them to ranching areas. Wow. You don't like fucking wolves.

They've killed who knows how many cows. The government has to reimburse them every time a cow dies. They keep killing cows. They're not allowed to kill the wolves. The wolves are around them 24 hours a day.

Just circling. So they cowboys on horses. Yeah. All throughout the night. They've got fires. They have to keep people employed.

But outside of the cattle poaching critters. Are you for reintroducing and repopulating areas of the first of all? Wolves were making the way into Colorado naturally. They're ready in the San Juan Mountains. They're moving in from Wyoming with a live naturally.

And when they reintroduce them into Montana, those have spread out all over the place. There's plenty of fucking wolves, man. There's a lot of wolves in Montana too. You don't like wolves.

I don't think you want wolves. I don't think you understand what you're saying. You're talking about a pack predator. It's very different than any other predator. They work together in coordination and they're smart.

And it's not like a mountain lion. It's not like a thing that acts alone. Once they figure out that the cows are in these wooden pens. Right. And they could just hop the pen killer cow and that's it.

They're going to do it forever. Right. Take out the poaching wolves. But the ones that are reintroduced and assimilate in raw nature.

“I think those are crucial and important to that ecosystem.”

It is crucial to have balance.

And there's there's some aspects of having the wolves back in Montana. That's actually better for the elk population. It is. The elk population was very overpopulated in one point in time. They had seasons where they were allowing people to shoot them in the snow

in the winter, so like there was so many of them when they're in the snow. Like deep snow they can't run. So you basically... No. The elk.

Because before they reintroduced the wolves they had so many elk. Yeah. These elk were running out of resources. Yeah. And they realized like they're so overpopulated.

We're going to allow you to shoot them in ways that's not even remotely sporting. They're stuck in snow. Called culling. Yeah. These taking as many out of the populations can.

And look, for the people that live there, it's amazing.

You're eating elk 12 months out of the year. You've got a freezer. We've got to get the leash. It's how dare you. No.

I mean, if you eat it all the time. But don't forget, the wolves also preserve the whole ecosystem. Because the overpopulation of elk, we're eating so much of the flora that the sides of river banks were earlier. Yeah.

But you're quoting a documentary called, uh, how wolves change rivers. Right. Yeah. widely disputed. So a lot of the stuff they're saying is not accurate in that documentary.

What is accurate is that balance is important. Yeah. But a lot of things are very overstated in that and it turned out to not be true. Not, no. A lot of the claims are not true.

Ha. Because. Interesting. There. You can have a pro.

The pro is keeps the population in check and it puts a natural balance to the area.

That's the pro. Yeah. This whole changing rivers thing. Mm. Some of it's accurate.

Some of it's not. Yeah. But there's the apparently that documentary was made by a guy who's into rewilding. And he also wants to rewild Europe. So like, this is very romantic.

This idea. Okay. But there is positive to having a balanced ecosystem. There is not positive when wolves get overpopulated.

“When wolves get overpopulated, that's what you get when you had Russia and Germany having a fucking ceasefire in World War One.”

Because they were losing so many soldiers to wolves. They all united together to kill the wolves. That's a true story. But do you ever live in a world where you go? The wolves are part of the natural world the same way the buys and were on the great plane.

You don't have to eradicate it. You don't have kids. No. Okay. You've had Billy.

Imagine if you had kids and you were walking with your kids and you saw three wolves following you.

Yeah. And you didn't have a gun. How would you feel about those wolves? When you thought, oh my god, we might get taken out by wolves. And I just thought they were these cute fuzzy things that were a part of nature.

I don't think of them as hell. I don't think of them as hell. I don't think of them as hell. Amazing. We need to work.

I've been around wolves. I know they are among team people. You are 100%. 100% team people. I love all animals.

I love them all. Yeah. But I love people way more. If it was between a person that I fucking hate that it feels a real piece of shit. And I knew that they're going to get taken out by a wolf.

But I had a rifle. I killed a fucking wolf. 100% of the time. Because I'm on team people. But it's a whole idea.

The animals are scared of us. Good. Be scared. Bitch.

“It doesn't mean you should do anything bad of those animals.”

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And they say there's so many of them, we could just shoot as many as we are.

We never have to worry about it.

And they're shooting them for tongues. Yeah. Tongues. Have you ever heard of Buffalo head smashed in? Buffalo head smashed in?

Yeah. What's that? It's a town in Alberta. That's a real name of the town. It's the real name of the town where on the plains there,

there was an optical illusion where it looked like the hills just kept going. But there was a cliff. And the Indians would chase the bison along the plains. And they didn't know it. And at the end, they'd all run over the thing.

And the Indians would be waiting at the bottom and kill the bison. But they named the place. Buffalo head smashed in. Oh, wow. Look at this.

Now wild. Wow.

So the bison thought they're running on a flat plane.

And they couldn't see the change in the perspective. So they'd run right over the edge. They did that a bunch of places in North America. In North America. They did.

There's one of them with a killed so many bison. That the rotting of them caused them to burst into flames. Yeah. And so, you know about that one? Yeah, that's like with whales when they blow off.

Yeah. They explode. So the whole side of the hill is like black with a coal. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Imagine a fucking smell of something like it's so bad. They burst into flames. Bro. What the fuck? It's to involve Texas barbecue.

So they the Native Americans when they were really good at hunting. Doing stuff like that. I mean, they're feasting. They're eating the best meat. And they're keeping the population in check.

Now, when they all died of disease, that population stopped being in check. And this is Dan Flores.

“I think it's called, see if you could find the name of it.”

I think it's called Bison diplomacy. Bison ecology. I think that's what it's called. Nature also provides disease when there is no humans around. Okay.

Like long before the Indian started hunting buffalo, there were buffalo. Yeah. Bison ecology and Bison diplomacy. It's a very interesting paper.

He was a professor of history at Texas Tech. Very, very good book. And he's got another great book on coyotes. Coyote Americans on coyotes. Are you a fan of team human?

If team human keeps pushing animals out of business? Where what point do we teach? No, I don't teach the scales.

We're at what seven billion now humans.

I think it's more. So at what point are you still a fan of team human? When more and more of team animal is being eradicated? And I'm not trying to say. We should stay in the humans.

What animals are being eradicated right now? Well, I just explained how the the herds of elephants have shrunk down to this. Tigers are down to a few thousand. And a lot of other backer rowers are down to like a few hundred. A lot.

Okay. A lot of that is not encroaching. It's illegal poaching. It's that. But it's also encroaching.

We're using up their land. Some of it. But also of it. What do you want those people to do? Like people in India.

They have an elephant's just invade their farms and eat all their food. But that's what I'm saying. How long are you a proponent of team human? People do we just religious for hundreds and hundreds of years. But the animals have been for millions.

I'm on team people. Because it's your family that needs that farm to stay alive. And also the fucking pack of elephants comes in and eats all the food that you've been working for a year. To plant and grow. What do you think we should just feed the elephant?

I just want to know where you stand. I'd rather see the animals succeed than us. If I'm being honest, I love people. But that is ridiculous. Where are the ones?

That's ridiculous things. It doesn't mean the animals are going to go extinct. Don't you think humans are a parasite on the back of Eden? Don't you think humans are a parasite on the back of this beautiful paradise? No.

No animal dumps nuclear waste or chemicals into rivers. No animal tears down forests except for beavers. So what makes team humans so great? Well, we definitely shouldn't do it.

“I think you need to change your attitude to do those things.”

But I am. But I am a human and I like humans. I love you. I love you. And the only way that you're going to have humans is if you stay on team human.

And not say, oh, brother, brother, you're animals here. They're just going to eat you. They're going to eat you. And there'll be no more houses. But if you get more tourists.

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“Well, yes, you say it slows it down or something like that?”

I don't know. But what was that? Well, what was that? So you beat it up? I don't know.

Oh, no. Okay. I'm picked. You give birth to a fucking jazzed up out of the world, kid. Ah, darn.

I want to fucking clean this house. Wait. Do you have any boys or is it all girls? No girls. Oh, wow.

Do you wish you it out of boy? I just wanted them to be healthy. Yeah. I think wishing that you had a boy or a girl. It's like the universe will give you what it gives you.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I don't want to wish you had a boy when you had a girl. Just appreciate the fact that you have a boy. No, I don't mean to eliminate the girls.

God bless the three girls. But if you had one more, would it be cool to have a boy? I'm very happy. Oh, good. Okay.

I don't think about it that way. You're a good dad. Thank you. That's something I picked up on you today. I think everybody should try.

Yeah. If you're a dad, you got one shot at this. One thing that's really nice for me is I don't have to travel as much. Because I have a club here. Yeah.

When they were young, I had to travel a lot when they were really young. Because it's like, okay.

Yeah. I was like a little bit more difficult.

“And having the club where I don't have to do stand up somewhere else.”

I don't have to go on the road all the time. Yeah. So I'm only going on the road. It's usually full of the UFC. Yeah.

You don't need to either. No. You're done. Good guy. You're done.

Good guy. You're done. It's nice to see kill turning like. Make a completely different career arc for all these people. And you're one of them.

Yeah. It's it's it's it's fucking taking you to the stratosphere. It's wild. It's wild. It's it's it's Sean a new light on my career.

Yeah. It's sort of revitalized in a bit. Yeah. You Rob Schneider. Yeah.

Caratop. I mean, just the list goes on and on. There's Kyle Dunn again. There's so many people that it just fucking launched them. So cool.

When Tony asked me to do it two years ago. I'll be honest. I didn't even know what it was. That's there. I didn't know who Tony was.

I'd never met him. I knew nothing about it. I was doing your club.

“And they said, hey, we're shooting tomorrow.”

Would you want to stay in extra day? And I said, for what? They go to kill Tony and said, what is it? And I went home. I had no clue.

I had no idea what it was. Are you not online at all? No, I didn't. I didn't know anything about that stuff. How do you stay offline?

Well, I go online now because I started a podcast and trying to emulate you. But you've been an inspiration. Thank you, by the way. But I didn't know about all that stuff.

And so they asked me to go on.

And I did my first set with Tony.

And I think he watched it. It was the one where I had the chat. And then. And then Tony will be when they finish the show. He goes, oh, you're going to be guests to the year.

I go, what are you talking about? And then I was guests to the year. And then it just sort of all this stuff. And now I'm about to shoot a movie with Tony as my star. I'm going to direct a movie with it.

Was it Masses Quirgarden where you were pulling the things out of your pants? Yeah, the lines. I said, I had the line disease. And I pulled the lines out. Yeah.

And whatever you pull the trophy out of your pants. Yeah, I'm Oscar. That's when I won just to the year. I love to pull stuff out of my pants, apparently. What is the movie you and Tony are doing?

So my next movie that I'm writing and directing is called Rednex. And we're going to shoot in September, October with Tony as the star. And I don't know if you do any acting anymore, but I want to offer you a part. I don't know if you're interested.

Yeah, you don't like acting anymore. No. You need to have no interest anymore. If I could kill it for a day, just run in and do it in the day. Really?

Yeah. Something easy. Be fun to have, yeah. We're going to film it. We're going to shoot in Florida and Kentucky.

Jesus. What if I got it for three days? What would you do? What do you do? You would talk. What's talking afterwards? Okay. I really don't like acting.

I know. I don't know me.

“Time either. That's why I know the problem.”

Like, time is, uh, my time is rationed. I get it. Yeah. Do you still have the passion to act at all or know? Yeah.

I never really had in the beginning.

Yeah. I only did it for money. Yeah. Like, I loved stand up and I loved, you know, going to clubs and doing it. And then I got a development deal.

Was that simple? Yeah. And also in the month TV. Am I right? Yeah.

But it was good that I never had a dream for it because then it, I didn't have a lot of anxiety about it. Yeah. You know, it was more like, it was fun to do. Yeah. Me too.

Because I was always like, I'm just going to go do stand up like this. Yeah. This is the same way. Yeah. It's better that way.

Because the people that, like, where it's there. Oh, my god. It's happening. Yeah. It's like so overwhelming for them.

Yeah. You see people have anxiety when they're about to do their scenes. And I was like, Jesus. [laughs] Chill out.

Well, we're so used to performing a front of audiences. Yeah. That for some people, the moment, like for young actors. Yeah. The moment when it's like action.

And you walk in. And then you see that crowd. It's overwhelming for some people. Yeah. It is.

It's very hard for them to find that comfort level that allows them to perform at the level that they know they can. Yeah. They might be really good actors. But the feeling is so overwhelming. They can't find the rhythm.

You know what the opposite of that was for me. I don't know if you had this experience. We were used to performing in front of live audiences, doing stand-up, where they're like reacting immediately. We do a joke. They laugh.

But now when you're doing a movie or TV, suddenly you're in front of an audience who are camera men and directors and make it. And they just stand there. They don't laugh. Yeah. And that became like the opposite of what we do.

So when I first started doing TV movies, I'd get anxiety because it's like,

Well, they're not laughing. They're not reacting. They're just standing there. It was all these technical people. And that freaked me out a little bit.

But I had to overcome that. Yeah. That is weird if you think it's really funny. And then you're saying it and no one's laughing. Yeah.

Because they're just making a movie. Right. Because it's not like the cameras are there by themselves. Right.

People behind the cameras. And you're doing it for people. Like 50 people will be standing there. Well, you're doing a scene. With cigarette in their hands.

And even coffee, shake in their head.

Did that throw you when you first started?

Well, news radio luckily wasn't front of an audience. Yeah. That's true. So when you put the audience in and you was all those people I was in cameras. Yeah.

But the people laughed at all the jokes. Okay. If they were good, you know, there would be jokes. But so that was to me. It was like a different way of delivering jokes.

Yeah. It was still. It was fun. Yeah. I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the sitcom.

“But the only way to do it right is to have really good writers.”

And that's hard to find that. Like news radio had that and really good performers. But if you're on a bad one, you're in hell. You're in hell and you just collect and checks. Yeah.

And you just go check. Good checks. Yeah. That's the problem. The velvet prison.

Yeah. Those are the guys that wind up doing drugs. The guys that are on a show that they hate. Yeah. Yeah.

You go straight to and a half men. That's a fucking Charlie Shannon. Wow. Yeah. It's part of it.

And part of it is just like, you're in that lifestyle. Yeah. But part of it is also like, I don't want to do this. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't want to do a sitcom. I'm bored. I'm bored with these lame punchlines. And next thing you know, you're smoking crack and running from the cops. You know what?

I realize two of us with these sitcoms. It's. They all keep borrowing the same premise. Like, I did three different sitcoms. And it's like, oh, now we're doing the episode where the lead guys somehow dating an SNM queen.

And now we're doing the episode where Jim gets his car stolen. Like, you start to realize, like, there's about 40 different episodes. But they all just insert them and sort of change them a little. And it's really very weird. Yeah.

These are pig. So many premises. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Well, that's just the uncreative ones.

“I mean, that's why Kirby enthusiasm was so amazing.”

Yeah. They didn't repeat anything. That's right. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. But the ones that were fresh were the ones that didn't. It was more like the traditional sitcoms that just plugged in the premises. And it's like, oh, my god, I've already done this. But there's something to that form where it's done really well.

It is very enjoyable. It's very comforting.

Like, I always thought, like, I saw clips of the Big Bang and never watched the Big Bang until I started watching with my kids.

And I'm like, this is a fucking very funny show. It's like a really good show with very defined characters really well made. And I had this prejudice of it. I think because I had seen some clips where they were doing like retakes. And there's no audience.

Yeah. So I'm saying the jokes with no laughs behind them. It just seems kind of lame. But everything seems lame. Yeah.

But yeah. We take of news radio seem lame to me while we were doing them. Yeah. But when I watched the shows, like, there's something comforting about this kind of a show. And I wish they still did them.

They don't do them anymore. Yeah. They're dying. This pond. Miss Pat is the only one that I know of that has an actual sitcom right now.

Like a three cam to get a live audience sitcom. Wow. Yeah. I don't think anybody else does. Or if they do, I don't know about it.

They used to be fucking comedy shit, man. Yeah. That was the goal. That was the dream to go get a sitcom. But isn't it weird that we still enjoy them?

Yeah. But yet no one makes them anymore. Yeah.

“I think they've been knocked out of contention because they're so set up.”

Whereas we live in this world now where people just scroll real life. But why? Because dramas are still on TV.

And they're still a million NCSI, whatever the fuck those shows are.

You know what I mean? Is a million of those shows. That's the Hulk on the other special victims unit. There's a million of those shows. So those kinds of same premise shows of cops and lawyers.

Yeah. Those still exist. The medical examiner shows. Forensic examiner shows. Those shows exist.

So how come all these. Yeah. A resurgence of rancher shows. Now everyone's a rancher. Right?

This is just 15 rancher shows now. So those shows exist. Yeah. No sitcoms. As the incredible Hulk on said,

Me not know why. I think it's a giant mistake. Because I think you could make a sitcom right now. Whether paramount plus does it or one of those organizations. Yeah.

It streams. You could make a great fucking multi-cam sitcom. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even turn on the TV anymore though.

I think people are being weamed right off a television. We're in a transitional phase. You know what's not. Dude, I rarely ever. When I used to go on the road,

I would check into a hotel and turn on the TV right away.

Really? I don't even turn it on. When I go home, I watch my TV maybe once a month. If that.

I don't even look at it anymore. So do you look at your phone? I look at my phone. That's it. That's it.

It's bizarre.

I never even weird it out by it.

It's like, what am I doing? You never sit down and watch a movie? Rarely. It's very rare. She do that.

She'll watch a movie. I know. It's the very entertaining. People should watch my new movie. Can I say something about it?

You don't watch movies and you make them? Yeah. You know fucking crazy that is. Yeah. What's wrong with you?

I'm crazy. I'm crazy. All right. What is your new movie? Do you mind me talking about it?

Please do. Are you sure? A hundred percent.

I wrote directed and starred in a new movie that just came out a few days ago called Wingman.

And it's on streamers Apple TV. Yeah. And it's on prime, prime video. And I play a crazy Wingman that helps people get laid. Nice.

Yeah. And it's with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace, Evan Marsh. Oh, nice. Sheave in the car. And did you make this yourself?

Well, we made it with a studio. Start us pictures up in Canada with David Lipper and Justin Levine. And it's a full on movie. We shot up in Canada. Nice.

Yeah. Really proud of it. And I hope people check it out. I hope that's awesome. I'll check it out.

I'll check it out if you promise to watch movies every now and then yourself. I'll do it if you promise to be in my next movie and we'll watch it together. It's an offer. Okay. We can talk.

I'd love to see you get back into doing a little acting.

I'd like that there are comedy movies again. Yeah. That's nice. Well, that's the one with them going to do with Tony is full on.

“That's why I'm sort of asking you because I want to see you get your comedy face in there again.”

What is it about? It's about a redneck culture. And this is the part where you really love it because I know you love vehicles. It centers around something called a mud bog where guys in Florida jack up their pickup trucks and drive through mud for three days. It's not monster trucks.

They just drive through mud and jump and spray. And then the other part of the movie takes place in those air boats that drive through all the marshes in Florida. And you would be the mayor of this town and get into it with Tony who becomes one of these mud bog guys. So you'd be around all this shit. Good Lord Florida is a different part of the world.

Isn't it wild? Look at these fucking guys. That's crazy. You got an old Camaro. Yeah.

This is what they do. Tell me you wouldn't like to be around that detail. Scroll back up please. It's so fun. So the movie is into the world of mud bogging North Central Florida.

Yeah. So Tony's going to be the lead guy who tries to win the whole mud bog thing. But meanwhile the mayor, which would be you, wants him out of town because he's such a redneck. He doesn't like the culture. Look at that.

Florida is so good. Yeah. This is a different place. Yeah. God.

So we're going to have fun doing that. But yeah, thank you for letting me mention wingman. It's awesome. When you do an indie project, it helps to be able to talk about it. So thank you.

“If you got an offer after this show to do a sitcom, would you consider doing it?”

And if someone said, listen, I think we could bring back the multi-cam sitcom. But we want you to start in Harlem. I would if it was, if it's all about the material. Because me and you were older, I think as we get older,

it becomes about how do we want to dedicate our time. I'm not interested in just doing, oh, I got a sitcom. It's got to have meaning to me. Of course. It's got to be something where I think you could help create it.

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, all those guys that used to work on all those shows. Like, sign-filled and friends. And they have to still be out there in the world.

Oh, yeah. In that nuts? Yeah. Like, you imagine back in the '90s when everybody wanted to sitcom. Yeah.

We were first coming up. If you said, you know, one day they'll be no more sitcoms. You'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? You didn't ever believe that. If you went into these rooms where they were making sex in the city

and the single guy and all these rooms they'd guys enjoy it, why you can. Yeah. Because in a couple of decades there's going to be zero sitcoms on television. They would have just laughed. Yeah.

They would have kicked you out of that off. They'd get the fuck out of here. You don't know what you're talking about. Meanwhile, that's true. Well, this is why I love, I hate, I'm just going to go back to a completely AI

because it shows we're evolving.

“You know, remember, Joe, at one point movies were black and white.”

They didn't have sound. Really? Yeah. They were, they, and then talkies came and color and digital.

There's stuff going to come that we don't even know which I love. Me too. Yeah.

“But I think sitcoms didn't have to go away.”

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Maybe not, but maybe so like the new weight, like your daughters probably don't want to sit down for half an hour. They love sitcoms.

They do? They watch old ones. Okay, well, I was wrong. I was really wrong. Well, I'm hurting.

Me and my youngest. We sat through the entire season. I mean the entire all seasons of Big Bang Theory. That was me and my family. We watched that one.

Yeah. Well, life and my, and then we watched Young Sheldon, which was the next version of it. Young Sheldon was really good. It was a single cam show. It was on Netflix.

And it was Sheldon as a young kid. It was the genius kid as a young boy. Yeah. Very funny show. But totally different.

Like really cute sweet show. But not in front of a live audience. And I think there's something I loved doing news radio. Yeah. But it was just because it was insanely talented cast.

And we were all like brothers and sisters. We had so much fun family. For five years, we worked together. We got drunk all the time. And it was so silly.

Yeah. It was such a fun set. It was like summer camp. Yeah. It was really fun.

And the show, I think, was really good. Yeah. But it also, here's the best part.

“It was never really successful, which was great.”

Because none of us got really rich or famous from that show. Yeah.

It was really, it was always like not doing so well in the readings.

We got moved nine times in five years. And this was back for the internet. So you could like send out a tweet. Hey, we're on Sunday nights now. You know.

And it was back also when nobody had. I saw this trailer that day. This has been off from Big Bang Theory. But it's not a just like, you know, in front of an audience sitcom. And it's not multi-camera either I suppose. But it was popping up.

Oh, no shit. Yeah. It's called. Stewart fails to save the universe. But it's a new show.

You know? Okay. Comedy. It is a 30 minutes. So it's in that universe.

Yeah. Yeah. Even like the logo is like that game kind of. Wow. It's on HBO.

Yeah. Nice. Wild. Yeah. Huh.

Who's created more bangers in that Chuck Lori guy? Oh my god. Yeah. That guy's created some big sitcoms. He was a big bang.

What's up? An article he wrote or I just read interviewing him said that those shows kind of died because like the office and a curb kind of killed it. Interesting. The single cameras.

Yeah. No audience. Yeah. I'm also also thinking I wouldn't want to go sit and watch a taping of a show right now.

“How much would they have to pay an audience to do that?”

Right. Well, you only have to pay the audience until the show becomes successful. True. Yeah, I guess people would want to go. Yeah.

You don't really want to pay the audience because they're not as much fun. Like news radio in the beginning. Nobody knew who the fuck we were. But by season three, the audience was news radio fans. Yeah.

And it became a totally different thing. It was really fun. And Phil Hartman used to do stand up. Oh, nice. He had talked about doing stand up in the clubs.

But he would do. He was really good in impressions. He would do bill Clinton impressions. Yeah. Yeah.

He would do it for fun. And you know, we talked about him actually doing it in clubs. And he thought about doing it. But it was the whole thing was silly. Like Andy Dick would address the audience.

They would answer questions. We had a good warm-up guy. It was like a party that was going on. Yeah. Everybody had a great time.

And that was after the show, you know, caught its gear.

But it never was popular until it became syndicated.

Then was the syndication. Then it became really popular. The least cheers was sort of popular. Every week they put out of the top 100. And my sitcom was always number 99 or 100.

So at least cheers was probably up in the top 30. No. One day, Lou Morton, Lou Morton was one of our writers. And Lou every week would show up with a t-shirt with a number on it. That he would draw with magic marker.

But we were. And one day showed up and it said 88. I go 88. He goes yep. I go no.

No. He goes yeah. Fuck. Dude, I was 100 every week. Well, we wouldn't have worked with you on the WB.

We were on NBC. Yeah. Okay. So WB didn't have affiliates all across the country. We only had like 60%.

88 at NBC is your barely alive. But still 100. Yes. 100.

Well, they always tell us don't worry.

We're not worried about the numbers. We know you got to find your audience again. Now you're on Monday night. You stay on Sunday. Oh man.

And one time we were on Thursday night. We were in the friend sandwich. So it was friends and sign felt which were Paul Sims. Exactly the producer of news radio. Famous called the shit sandwich.

Because in between friends and sign felt you would have like Caroline in the city. And these shows that weren't as good. Do you want to hear about salt in the wound?

So mine was show was number 100.

Okay. It was called Simon. It was me. I was the star I played Simon. Jason Bateman played my brother.

Look at that. And the lead girl on Dre Abendo Wald. We ended up dating. She became my girlfriend. Her best friend was Jennifer Aniston.

She lived with Jennifer.

“So I would go and stay at Jennifer's house every night.”

With my girlfriend. We were like three's company. And I'd have to sit there and watch friends with Jennifer. The number one show will be in on Dre. Or at the bottom number 100.

It was like, oh, I mean, love Jennifer was so happy. But talking about salt in the wound. It was like, oh, damn. Isn't it crazy though? But you're on TV.

You're living in a dream. This is what it was great. It was great. The earliest social media was the variety magazine and the Hollywood report. Yeah.

That was like the same thing where these people compare themselves to everybody else. Yeah. Look at the rankings. And I would show up on the set and, you know, like, all these people love to read those things. And they were reading those things.

And I started calling the Devil's Rack. I go, why are you reading the Devil's Rack? Because they were, we were complaining. Like, can't believe we were number 32. Because if we were on, you know, Thursday night.

We would be number two or number one or whatever. And I go, last time I checked, I'm on TV. Yeah. I go, we're on TV. We're on TV on NBC.

There's not a lot of people that get to be on TV. Yeah. Like, this is great. We're living the dream. So we're not number one.

“Like, you guys are reading that and you're forgetting how many people that your friends with that are going”

on editions right now that would kill to be on NBC. But it's the Devil's Rack. It's the same thing that happens with, you know, you say, "Oh, I just got a new car. I'm pretty happy."

And then, "Oh, Joe, basil's got a yacht." Fuck. All the other things. I was like, "I'm on TV." But I got to tell you, we got deeper into the season.

And I had to sit there beside Jennifer Aniston. And watch her number one show every week. And all the 100 is sitting beside her. I got to say it started to see Ben where you're just like, "Voc, I'm on TV."

You know, it's like, there are days when it was just, you can feel it. Not blaming her, but just the business. It was hard to sit at one end and see the other. But that's the way it works.

It's the way it is. Yeah. But you got to really just be happy. Oh, it's great. You're wearing the lottery.

Yeah. You want the lottery. You just didn't win the mega power ball. Yeah. And I loved it.

I got to work with Jason and I, you know,

“I was the star of my, I came from the suburbs of Toronto.”

I never thought I'd do anything.

Here I'm, I got the star of my own sitcom, Simon. I'm like, "This is unbelievable." Yeah. Yeah. I share your attitude.

Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lot of them that don't work, man. It was on the set. And we were there.

Like, so you'd go to a sunset hour. And there'd be a bunch of other places that were next to you. Yeah. And I'd go visit with all those guys. Because like a lot of one of my, like, many cars.

Yeah. Lenny Clark was right down the street. Lenny was on the, the John Larrick Hatch Show. Do you remember that? Yeah.

I got a little story about that when you're done. I'll tell you. Tell me. Are you sure? You don't want to finish?

John Larrick at Yale. So before I got my own sitcom. So I was in Hollywood. I did two auditions. I did one for Ellen DeGeneres's first show.

I was called these friends of mine. And I was a guest star on the show with Molly Shannon. And then my second audition was for the John Larrick Hatch Show. And I went in an audition and the feedback to my agents was John said, "This guy wants his own sitcom."

And I said to my agents, I said, "You're damn right I do." And the next gig I got was my own sitcom. Oh, that's hilarious. So I was pretty cool. So you think he didn't like you?

Because you wanted your own sitcom or he thought you were too good for his show because you want your own sitcom. I think he must have sensed dialogue in there with attitude or cockiness,

which I didn't. I just did the audition, but he must have been reading my vibes somehow. Well, that's you. Yeah, so that's how you watch.

People that don't, you know,

you, this, Harlan, you've always been like this.

I have. For the moment I met you. Yeah. You've always been like this. Very happy.

Very confident guy. You never look rattle to do a show. You look like they're having a good fucking time. Oh, yeah. All of us, like, there was moments where everyone had a big show

when you're like, fuck, real nervous. You were never like that. No. You were always like, happy go lucky. Yeah.

I don't know, one person that doesn't like you. Oh, wow. Do you know what crazy that is? No, I'm not even married. But you know how crazy that is.

Like, I know every comic that I know has a comic that they don't get along with but that they hate someone hates them or they hate them. Or there's some fucking fuck that guy like I speak shit. His comic of sucks.

No one says that about you.

That's a, that's a, we're talking about that.

The green room one day. We were talking about in the green room because it was, after you came on with Demetri. I was like, I told everybody was howling. Okay.

He went to the whole show before he pulled this fucking steak out of his pants. By the way, that snake sat right in front of Donald Trump. He was here. I loved it. I told you that.

So that conversation that we had in the green room was like, who the fuck do you know that doesn't like harlan? We all sat around and talked about it. There's no one. You are like the most universally loved comedian that I know.

Oh my God. I have to defend Tony to everybody. Yeah, Tony, yeah. I have to believe it's a great guy. Yeah.

He's a great guy. Yeah.

“I'm just like, in that world, you have to understand”

the roast world. Yeah. That is not the real world kids. That is, you're going for blood. Yeah.

If you're in a cage fight and you elbow someone in the face, it's not because you're a bad person. You have to. That is your job. That's the game we're playing.

If you don't do it, you're letting yourself down. You've got to go in and fight. Yeah. That's the game we're playing. These are the rules that we're under.

Yeah. We're all talking shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's when you see people complain about it.

Yeah. I understand the general public that's not aware of what roasts are, because the reality of roasts are, especially for, like, if you're a 22 year old kid, the last time there were roasts on television before the Tom Brady Bros was literally 10 years ago.

Yeah. Like, do you remember the Charlie Sheen Rose, the Donald Trump rose, the Comedy Central Rose, they stabbed all the time. Yeah. They were a long time ago.

Yeah. It's a long time in the zeitgeist. Yeah. So those things don't exist to kids. Yeah.

The kids comedy is joking about stuff. Comedy is Chris Rock. Comedy is Kevin Hart. Yeah. That's what they think of comedy is.

They don't even understand the jokes. Yeah. Like, this is roast jokes are fucking mean.

They've always been fucking mean.

They can be cruel too. Yeah. Personal, ruthless. Go back and watch all those old comedy Central Rose. Yeah.

They were fucking brutal. Yeah. They were brutal. Patreise would just eviscerate the entire fucking stadium. Yeah.

Those things, the thing is, like, if you're a person and you're not accustomed to roast and you don't get why those jokes are so mean, I get it. But comedians, comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes, fuck all the way off.

Just fuck all the way. All the way. You fucking trade it all the way off. You know what this is. Yeah.

You know exactly what this. You're a fucking trader. You're just using this moment to try to boost yourself up. They try to, like, knock down what's happening. And you can disagree with the content.

Yeah.

“You can say, I think they went too far with this.”

Yeah. I don't think, but this, this fucking, pretending that these people are actual racist and Nazis, just because they're telling these jokes that are in a roast. Yeah.

Fuck all the way off. Yeah. Don't shoot up. Go out and play hockey. If you don't want to play hockey.

Yeah. Like sit on the bench. Yeah. And don't, don't badmouth the people playing hockey. Yeah.

It is what it is. And that's the game. That's the game I play in. And play in this ruthless. And by the way, you know,

a problem with it, Kevin fucking heart. Yeah. Kevin fucking heart has defended every single person that said horrible shit about him about him being lynched from a bonsai tree. Oh, the crazy shit that they said. Well, you know, who else did I have a problem with it? Is the people, the corporations that put it on corporate television on corporate airwaves?

So there's a whole subsection of the foundation of where these, the platform that they're given. They didn't care about it either. They won't do it.

Well, they knew from the Tom Brady roast how powerful those things are.

Right.

“The Tom Brady roast was the number one watch thing in Netflix history.”

Wow. It's more than 55 million people watch that thing. I got to say, I'm not the hugest fan because I don't love cruel humor as much, but I do love it that Tom Brady roast. I feel like it kicked woken us over the cliff like those buffalo.

We were getting so woke. And we needed that roast to sort of course correct. There's two things you killed woke. Number one, kid rock gunned down a whole fucking stack of blood like this. That was so good.

That might have been it. Oh, it's gorgeous. That might have been it because that was exactly the real financial consequences of being completely insane. Yeah.

That people were fed up like enough. Yeah. And kid rocks ain't fuck you in, has your bush like that is a big hit to the stock price. And then people realize, oh, this is a micro set of people that are very loud, but it's not the macro.

It's not. It's not the general population. It's smaller than micro. Yeah. It's like micro micro.

Not only that, but the people that were in it. A lot of them abandoned ship. Yeah. A lot of them abandoned ship. There's a few signaling who's done.

They got caught up in a thing that was like the way people were behaving. And so they imitated what was going on in their social groups.

And that's why it got shot down by kid rock.

“By the way, what kind of gun did he use?”

I don't know guns. I bet you know what he use. I think he used an AR. What's that? What's that?

It's a salt rifle. Is it like automatic? Is it like automatic? I mean, maybe he used it automatic. He's in Tennessee.

They have some solid gun. He just blasted away. I kind of have whatever you want. How many in a clip for an AR, do you know? It's called a magazine.

And I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know.

- I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know.

- I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know.

- I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know.

- I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know.

- I don't know. - I don't know. - It's the news reporting of it, I don't mean to-- - You didn't post it on YouTube. - Look at this.

- Oh, man. - Okay, that's an AR thing. - That's the magazine. - It might be, it might be a fully automatic. - That's not a clip.

- Let me hear it, please. - Oh, he should have pretty fast. - Yeah, I think that's fully automatic. - Yeah, that's fully automatic, 100% of all. - So he has some kind of machine gun.

- I wanna shoot up a six pack of Dr. Pepper just for fun. I love Dr. Pepper, but I wanna shoot some pop. - Why don't you just go shoot something you don't like? 'Cause it's kind of symbolic of something that you're trying to kill.

- Wolves? - Yeah. - I love Wolves. - You wanna shoot a wolf? - We're not going back to the wolf.

- The ones on where they are. - Forget it. - Listen, if Wolves are the mountains and they're just being wolves, they're eating elk and deer, and I'm off for Wolves.

I'm not an anti-wolf person, but I think you shouldn't bring them into residential neighborhoods and drop them off in ranches. - I think that's fucking ridiculous. - I'm bringing you back.

“But I think that Wolves in the wild are important.”

- Yeah. - I'm not an anti-wolf person. I just don't like people doing what I call ballot box biology, where you get people to decide by voting

that are never going to experience these wolves.

Do you think we should reintroduce Wolves to Colorado? And all these people that just got back from Whole Foods, like, yeah, that would be amazing. I heard it is going to help the sprouts grow, and they vote yes, and then these poor lambs

are getting eaten alive. - Have you shot a wolf? - No, no, I don't want to hunt wolves. I mean, I would shoot a wolf when I thought the wolf was like a dangering my family,

trying to tell my dog or dog or something like that, but I love wolves. I don't like wolves, I think they're awesome. I think they're awesome. - Have you ever heard a wolf howl on the wild?

- No. - It's very haunting, it's very ghostly. Even more, I know you've heard coyotes, but a wolf has this long, howl, it's almost, I can see why Native Americans are so spiritually

connected to it. It's very ghostly, and it's spiritual almost. It's a very beautiful sound. - No, they're amazing animals, but it's pretty good. Sort of like that.

(vocalizing) - You know if you do that, I had a friend who had a wolf, I had a friend who had wolves, and if you do that in his house, they start howling. - Oh yeah?

- Yeah, they go nuts. - Yeah, I would go over his house, and... (vocalizing) - Father? - Wow, what a wild animal.

- They're amazing, they're amazing.

- Noise, they look, they're incredible. - They're incredible, that's so awesome. - I saw one in the wild. - They're important, keep on going.

“- I just don't think you should reintroduce them”

to fucking ask them, you ask holes. - I don't know. - It might be fun to see a pack of timbers taken down a skier, like Charlie Sheen coming down the hill with Denise Richards,

and, you think, well, the timbre walls like take them down, there was a movie rip out there. There was a movie about that called Frozen, not like the, let it go, let it go. - Oh yeah, it was with Liam Neeson.

- No, that was the gray. The Frozen movie is a horror movie. - It's a horror movie, I know all the wolf movies. - Oh, a horror movie about these kids that are skiing, and they get stuck on a ski lift,

because they forget they're up there, and there's wolves down there. - Okay, I think it killed. - So you got falls in his legs, break, and then the wolves coming get them.

- So you're gonna get mad at me, but I don't, movie like this one's scary, because I just know wolves to be skiddish. - Like this, you're mine. - Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about.

- If you're in like lions, let birds, jaguars, forget it, they'll take you down, but my experience with wolves is they're more skiddish, we're out in humans, but I don't want to get into it again.

- We can go to Arby's later, and I have a fight. - If you have a broken leg like that,

- Okay, they tear it down right now.

Look at watch it, they eat them, they eat them. They kill them man. - Is that Denise Richards? - No. - It looks like Drew Beryl, they live also spoiler.

- No wolves in New Hampshire, it's all bullshit. - Yeah, they're probably, was it one point? - Yeah, they kill them all, because they were killing people in livestock. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - You know how they killed them, too? Most of them did poison. What they would do is they would inject strict nine into horses and leave the horse carcass

and they would all die. - Wow, they did a lot of trapping, too. Those cruel, the snap traps. - Yep, they did that, too. I knew some old trap guys up when I worked up north.

And these guys, you might know on a hear this, but the way they'd take them out is they trap them in the leg traps, and then they didn't wanna damage the pelth. So then they walk up to the mother trap

and they just clog them, they club them to death. - Like how they club seals, like that. - Yeah. - Yeah, horrible. - Yeah, that's, I don't like that.

- The clubbing seals, man, was rough.

- That was rough, never seen those videos.

- And the seals, at least a wolf would run away. These seals, they're just laying out sunbathing and they walk up and just bam, smack and pop their skulls. - I know, and you're doing that for their fur. - And the babies, they'd smack the babies

'cause they'd that beautiful white fur. - Oh my gosh. - These things are like a chromosome away from being a sex toy, they're so cute. (crashing)

- Wow. (crashing) (crashing) - Wolves are good. - Yeah.

- Just don't want 'em in you neighborhood. - I do. - It should be in the woods. - I love 'em, I, I wouldn't mind if they were around. - You say that, and say that, do you have a dog?

- I've had 'em. - What if you came out and your dog was getting eaten alive by wolves? - Glete dogs. - I lost one of my dogs to coyotes, yeah.

“- I remember the day you told me your people”

went up and took out a whole lotta coyotes. - No, no, no. - It wasn't my people. - Oh, I thought it was yours. - Two neighbors?

- It was one of my friends who worked at a pet store. It was also worked at a veterinarian's office. - Oh, okay. - And he told me the story about this pit bull that came into the veterinarian's office.

It was covered in cats. - Oh, okay, okay. - Yeah, you told me like, like, like, 10, 15 years ago. - Yeah, it was like one of those, you know, there's companies that take pit bulls,

and they breed 'em and make 'em like 120 pounds. - Yeah. - To keep breeding 'em bigger. This was one of those. This thing was a fucking tank.

- Like a tank. - He said it was covered in cuts. And they asked the guy like, "What happened?" He goes, "I don't know." You know, I came home, he was all fucked up and bleeding.

- Yeah. - So he brings 'em in, they stitch 'em up, and then the guy follows the blood trail. Out into the hills, he finds nine dead coyotes. - Yeah, I remember you told me that.

We were at the store one night and you told me that you just heard it. I was like, "Wow." - That story stayed with me, 'cause it was so like, he said it looked like Vietnam.

- Yeah. - Because they were just their next retorn apart. - Yeah, because fucking legs were broken. 'Cause this people, once he grabs a hole, then he just starts shaking 'em.

- I think it was way like 30 pounds. - Yeah, they're not super big. - But they would do this thing where they would, like, corner an animal, and they would trick it. And the way they would trick it, they would

say one animal out there to get chased. - Yeah. - And so that very kind of... - The dog would chase it, and they would all come - He weighed on a chair at a park.

- Yeah, they just really fucked with that. - They fucked with that wrong dude. - Yeah. - Wow. - That crazy story.

“- I remember that one, you told me that.”

I was like, that's crazy. - Yeah. - Yeah, they're everywhere now. They're in coyotes or everywhere. - Everywhere.

- Yeah, oh yeah. - They're really cool too. The coyote America that book by Dan Flores, the same guy wrote by Synecology, by Syn diplomacy. He wrote this amazing book about coyotes.

We explain why they're everywhere. 'Cause gray wolves and coyotes don't breed, but red wolves and coyotes do. That's why you have those coy wolves in the East Coast. - Yeah.

- Gray wolves have always killed coyotes.

- Yeah. - So when gray wolves find coyotes, they kill 'em. And so coyotes are used to being persecuted by the gray wolves, and then they just keep moving to new places.

That's what they do. So that's what they made it all the way across the country. So when people were killing coyotes or people were trying to hunt coyotes, they just moved to this moved to new places.

- Yeah, yeah. - Oh, now they can adapt. I see them in my front lawn almost every other week. - Yeah, they're everywhere. - Yeah, I'm in the Hollywood Hills and there.

I see them walking right past my swimming pool. I mean, it's not cool if you have a dog or a cat. - No, you will eat 'em, but they are cool. It's a cool animal. - Oh, they're really cool.

- And there, their owls are wild too. - Oh, he's yips in the middle of the lake. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, they go off sometimes if there's a fire engine goes by, and Hollywood, the coyotes will react

to it and go off. - They also keep the rats down.

“- Yeah, that's why you don't see a lot of rats.”

- Yeah, they keep the rat population down.

- If they killed up all the coyotes, it would have a devastating effect for the ecosystem too. There would be a bunch of shit. There would be around all the time now that they're killing and eating.

- Yeah, yeah, no, they're cool animals, man. There was a girl speaking of being killed by wolves. There was a girl in Prince Edward Island about

“12 years ago, I think, they were killed by coyotes.”

- She got killed by a pack of coyotes. - Yeah. - She was out running with her walkman on him. She was like, promising, folk singer. - Yeah.

- They said that those coyotes were unusual 'cause they were used to killing moose. - But it was just moose. - Yeah, the coyotes would literally, they were going after a bigger game

'cause there wasn't a lot of game there. So they were used to packing together and like taking out the moose by attacking their legs. - Yeah. - Keep cutting at their legs until they can't run.

- Wow, I've never heard of coyotes

taking out a moose. - Yeah. - We looked it up on the show. - Wow, this was a very unusual exchange. - And it's one of the reasons

why they think these coyotes killed this girl. And she wasn't big. She was small. - Yeah, she was out jogging. - Yeah.

- But that's the thing, man, they don't have rules. They don't like, well, we don't fuck with people and people don't fuck with us. - But the Orca seem to, they seem to understand what we are. They've saved people, even out in the wild,

like people that fell overboard, they've saved them. - Yeah, isn't it strange that such a, probably the top predator in the sea next to the sperm whale, the killer whale could take whatever it wants. - Yeah.

- And somehow instinctively, it leaves humans alone. - Yeah. - I don't really understand it.

“And that's why I talk about sort of the programming”

of nature to step around human somehow. - 'Cause it doesn't make sense, no. - Humans look like seals, where the same body shaped, the same weight pretty much and yet, orcas, there's no documented kill

of a human by an orca. - I know, it's weird. - It's weird, yeah. - Well, they're so smart, and their brains are huge. They're huge, brains.

We just equate intelligence with your ability to manipulate your environment. - So they don't have a house, they don't have cell phones. They must be idiots. - But we don't know, then they clearly understand

that we're different than everything else. - But that's what I mean. All I think, all the critters do. - Well, we are. - Yeah, show some respect, bitch,

with the ones with the guns. - It's B-O-Tch. - B-O-Tch. - Thank you. - I mean, we both love animals.

- Yeah, I know you love animals, I love animals too. I just love people more. - I love people the same, but if it came to deciding whether we left Earth with humans or animals, I'll be honest, this will sound me,

and I'd give it to the animals. - Why? - 'Cause they don't know cruelty. - That's not true. - They don't know...

- That's a mouse.

“- You know, you're saying, you're talking crazy talk.”

Do you know how bears kill things? They just eat 'em. They hold 'em down the eat 'em. - Oh yeah.

- They need to kill 'em first.

- But it's not, it's not from cruelty. It's for survival. - It doesn't matter. - It's still cruel. - If you heard of Hiroshima, yeah.

- I have. - That was probably less cruel than a bear eating you asshole first. - No, but there's no intent with a animal. - That's just trying to eat you.

- An animal doesn't have intent. - Right, but the end results are still the same. If you, we're getting eating asshole first by grizzly bear. You're not thinking, well, he doesn't have intent to be cruel.

This is just how he eats me. Asshole first. - But he has to eat you. - We can't go to the grocery store. - He doesn't have to eat you.

He could kill you first, and then eat you like your cat does. - But he doesn't know how. He doesn't realize he's being cruel. - We do.

- No, no, no, he doesn't care. - Right. - But he doesn't know how. He could definitely kill you. If you were a bear and they were fighting,

he would grab you by the neck and he would kill you. Like they try to kill each other. But when they eat you, they're not, they just don't care. - Right.

- That's what I mean. - There's no malice. - Right. - But the result is the same. You're not gonna take comfort in the fact

that it doesn't have malice while he's eating your dick. - Well, it's pronounced "gourd." (laughing) - You know that video, well, the audio of grizzly man getting eaten, five minutes long.

- Oh, yeah. - It's five minutes long of him screaming. - Well, this thing is just eating them, but grabbing his thighs and pulling chunks out of his thighs.

- By the way, they finally just recently released

that audio, right? 'Cause in the movie, grizzly man, the director refused to play it. - No, it's not real. - It's Werner Herzog.

- He destroyed that audio. - Yeah. - The fake audio that's online. - That's just fake. - That's the new one.

- It's not even new. It's been around, okay. - Okay. - But you listen to it. If you know it's fake, you hear it, you go,

"Oh, this bullshit." - So, it sounds fake. - It sounds fake. - Yeah, people are gross and cruel, so were champs. So what they do to monkeys is fucking horrific. I don't know if they're doing it on purpose,

but what they do to people, it seems like they're doing it on purpose when they bite your fingers off and pull your eyeballs out, it seems like they're being cruel.

especially like primates that engage in war, you develop cruelty in order to be better at your job. - Yeah, but I think with them, they lack emotional cruelty, like humans, we have the knowledge to know something's better good.

They just know survival, and we engage in bad. - Right. - Which we don't-- - A different kind of cruel. - Yeah, that's a good point. - Yeah. - Did I just win my first argument?

- No, I mean, you're right, I agree with you. - Well, about that, we have a certain type of cruelty that's not like any other animal's cruelty because we're aware of how it's going to affect other people. - There you go. - Yeah, they're not really aware,

but they just don't care. - Yeah, you know, when they do those things where they communicate with chimpanzees, they teach them sign language, you know,

they've never had a chimp-asker question.

- Yeah, right, interesting. - Interesting. - Because they communicate with the number like, "Why are you wearing clothes?" - There's not-- - You don't even--

“- I never thought of that. - Yeah, it's weird, right?”

- Yeah, can we get armies for lunch? - Why? - Why don't they ever ask for anything? - They don't ask. - Yeah, that's-- - Well, wait did, did, you know what that's not true?

- How so? - Coco, the gorilla, he would ask for affection. He would ask for love and hugs, I think there's no-- - Oh, yeah, but that's a request. That's not a question.

Like, why am I here? - Oh, okay. - What is this bill? - You're talking to more of a philosophical question. - No, I'm talking about being having actual curiosity about like it's environment.

- Right, I understand. - Why is your skin white and wine is not? - Yeah, they're just not aware. - Puck me, you don't walk on your hands. - Yeah, there's no, you know what I mean?

Like, what we call intelligence is very compartmentalized. It's very boxed in and compares into our intelligence. We have the intelligence to understand this thing probably doesn't like being in the cage. - Yeah, you don't think that.

- Yeah, do you believe in the concept of a missing link, like something in between homo erectus and the endothal and then us modern day is there-- - Well, I think there's a missing feature. - I think first of all, the real problem is

what's the evidence in terms of the fossil record? It's very incomplete, right? - And because it's hard to get fossils, right? Like, for someone to leave a fossil behind,

“you have to die in mud or the specific conditions.”

So most animals that die, I think we looked it up before.

It's like 99% or never going to leave a fossil.

- Right. - So when they find things like Denisovins, so Denisovins, I think they found in the 2010s or something like that, when did they find them? It was a more recently than that.

Maybe it was more recently than that. So they just found like a tooth and a finger. And then they start finding bones. They're like, hey, this is not like a normal human tooth. This is not like a normal human bone.

And then they do DNA tests on them and then they go, oh, this is different. This is a different type of human. - Right. - So these humans that lived alongside humans

that we just found out about 10 years ago. - Huh. - So how many versions of from ancient hominid to modern homo sapiens? How many versions were there that we have evidence of?

That's what we don't know.

- What's the homo, what does it say? - Here it is.

“Michael Shunkov, for the Russian Academy of Sciences”

and other Russian archeologists, what happened? - We just got scrolled player. - What is that? That was weird. - We didn't scrolled.

- What did it just do? That was so weird. That was so weird. It's like they didn't want us reading this out loud. - What's the homo we're missing?

- It's a good question. So archeologists from the Institute of Archaeology and ethnography of the Siberian branch of the Russian Academy of Sciences in Novosibresk, Akdem Gorodok.

Investigated the cave and found a finger of a juvenile female hominine, originally dated from 50 to 30,000 years ago. And then the estimate was changed to 76,000 to 51,000 years ago. Specimen was originally named X-Woman. So anyway, the whole thing is they found

that this is, go back to again. A novel ancient hominid genetically distinct from both contemporary modern humans and from Neanderthals. So they knew from that that is a new kind of human. And that's just 2008.

So this is 18 years ago, they found that. So who knows how many ones they could find? If they kept, if you had, this is a limited amount of archaeologists that are doing this kind of work. Imagine if you had thousands and thousands

of them scouring Asia, scouring Africa. Look, there's probably a bunch more that we haven't discovered. - Definitely. - So this idea of the missing link.

- I'm not sure if that's accurate. - Okay. - But then the question is, I'm glad you said that because it's sort of illuminated me a little too.

I hadn't thought of it in those terms.

- 2008, a Taiwanese citizen purchased a fossil, homo, mandible, dredge from the sea floor of the Taiwan straight from an antique shop and donated to Taiwan's National Museum, the National Science. A tempest extracted DNA were unsuccessful,

but in 2025, protein analysis, the specimen designated pingu one was published showing that it belonged to a male dinosaur. - That was just in a shop. - I loved it.

- A missing link was in an antique shop.

“- Well, that's how they found Gigantopithecus, too.”

They found it. - I like that old lamp. I'll take that plate and how about historic missing link. How much is that? - The hell? - I think it's just a different kind of person.

- Yeah. - You know, and then interesting. If they kept finding more of them, maybe we'd have a better understanding of what we're talking about, but there's a giant leap, that's for sure.

- Yeah. - It's the biggest mystery in the entire fossil record is the doubling of the human brain size

over a period of two million years.

- Well, nutty, nutty thing that happened, also in our brains grew. - Well, it's interesting to me, too, is that you do have some fossilized remains that are very, very, very old that date back

to caveman era stuff. And then we have stuff closer to what we just looked at, but there's that one transitional, where you'd think there'd be a transitional creature that they can't seem to find.

- Well, they might find it. They might, I mean, they do.

“- I think some of these are getting closer.”

They don't have like a lot of dinosaur bones,

but there's gonna be a few more that they find. I'm sure if they keep looking. I bet there was probably a bunch of different kinds of humans. The question is like, why did we succeed, and why are we so much smarter than all the rest of them?

We should go in and teaking this weekend. See how we can dig up. - I don't think it's that way. - Well, according to that, I think it was in an antique shop.

- China, right? - It was a long time ago. - I don't care if they bought China or pottery. I just, let's go in. - Wow, wow, wow, wow.

“- I gotta wrap this up, but yeah, buddy.”

- Oh, it's good to see you, brother. - Great to see you. - Thanks for having me. - Thanks for being here. Wingman, it's, is it available streaming?

Is it available everywhere? - It's only streaming on Apple and Amazon Prime right now. All over the world, and then in Canada, we will start streaming the end of June,

and they might even do 60 to 90 theaters up there. - Oh, we're excited. - Yeah, it's okay. - Wingman, yeah. - And good luck with the Tony one too,

that sounds fun. - Yeah, and hopefully maybe we'll see you there. - Hopefully, maybe. - Yeah, congratulations on guests of the year. That's awesome also.

- That was, I was just here. - Yeah, it was last year, thank you, buddy. Great to see you, I love you, man. - I love you too, buddy. - All right, bye, buddy.

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