#2512 - Joey Diaz

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The Joe Rogan, experience. Join my day, Joe Rogan, podcast, my night, all day. All right, brother, hey, what's happening? Let's go on out. Same shit, great to be here.

Great to see you. I feel like I'm like a tip-top-fucking mugu. I can't believe you could walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again. It was like three days, man.

That's nuts. But yes, I fucked it up in Newark Airport. Because I wanted to walk, but it was like, I walk every day at the gym, and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast, and after dinner.

But that's a loop. This was 10 loops yesterday. So thank God, I had a baggy with animals with me on the plane. I hate the animals.

And I put, I asked the fuck in flight attendants.

“She'd give me some ice, and that's how I got it down.”

And then you rub it with that wartime shit, that liquid cocaine juice, it's-- - What? - Yeah, there's a cream that became a legal you buy it over the counter. What is that?

It's for something worth, don't quote me, man. But it's a good cream. Nums dry. You have to rub it though twice a day. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, but it's fucking feels fantastic.

- I've never heard of it. - Yeah.

Boltron, Boltron, Boltron, Boltron, Boltron, Boltron. Don't listen to me, don't listen. - Google, what's that? - Is that it? - That it, Boltron. - See, I'm Boltron. Art's right, it's pain.

And you just rub it on your knee? - Yeah. - A couple times a day. - Anything that hurts? - What is it? - It's like a fucking cow with cocaine,

that tastes like a fucking situation for you. - Prescription strength over the counter, non-stirrotal anti-inflammatory that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation, and stiffness.

Interesting, I never heard of it before. Wildly used for osteoarthritis and muscle aches should not be used for acute injuries like simple strains or bruises. Wonder why?

Why can't you use it for strains or bruises? Does it say why?

“That seems weird, 'cause that's what people use,”

I'd be profiting shit, yeah. - Wonder why you can't use it. - Like I couldn't use any of that shit. I could only use, I don't know. What other fuck that is?

I couldn't think I'd be profiting that for surgery. - No. - Have you ever used DMSO? I don't know what that is, Joe. - This is the shit right here.

- You rub it on? - Yeah. - That's another horse to tranquilizer. Another horse medication. Yeah, they use it in veterinary applications,

but it's really good for pain, for pain, and injury to take that. Keep it. - Okay. - No, I have a bunch of them.

- Thank you. - I buy shit in bulk. - Oh, we're talking about La La Zeta. - Yeah, that was the early steroids, which were the 70s.

I don't know what the fuck we were getting the 70s. Everything came from Germany, I think. - I think they were getting-- - Dr. Roblin, all that shit.

“- I think they were getting human growth hormone”

from cadavers, see if that's true. Jamie put that into our AI sponsor perplexity. Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers? I think they did.

I think that's how they used to get it. - What do you get from a growth hormone from now? - That's a good question. I don't know, I don't know how they do it. It's synthetic, I know it's synthetic.

So it must be they isolate the molecule, they figure out how to reproduce it, and then they make it somehow, I have no idea. But the way they used to do it back then, cadaver derived human growth hormone

was really used mid-1900s and 1985, and turned out to be dangerous, 'cause it's sometimes transmitted pre-on diseases, like crocks fell, jackub, yucub, and as no longer use it has been fully replaced

by synthetic, recombinant HDH. So quetz fell, yucub disease, that's mad cow disease. It's the same kind of disease. And when it comes from, it's the same thing that cannibals get when people eat human brain tissue.

They get and neurons and that kind of shit. You get this same disease. - Alzeda was one of the first U.S. sports figures to admit using antibiotics steroids in the last year of his life,

as he battled against the brain tumor, which eventually caused his death. Alzeda was sort of the steroid use abuse, the steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness. He recounted his steroid abuse

and article sports illustrated. Our target started taking antibiotics steroids

in '69 and never stopped.

Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I was addicted mentally. It was addicted mentally and mentally addicted. 90% of athletes I know were on the stuff.

I became very violent on the field,

off it too. I did things, only crazy people do. Once in 1979, in Denver, a guy side swipe my car. I chased him up and down the hills through the neighborhoods.

I did that a lot. I chased a guy, pulled out of his car, beat the hell out of him, but look at me now. I wobble when I walk and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody.

“You have to give me time to answer questions”

'cause I have trouble remembering things. He died at 43. 43. What do you think? What do you think?

What do you think? Wow. He didn't look good at the end. Like he wore the band then. Alzeda was Jewish.

That's as he was inducted into the Jewish Hall of Fame. What did it say about go back to that? Well, what I was just reading? International Jewish Hall. Jewish Sports Hall of Fame.

I didn't even know that existed. OK. So I don't know if that was that stuff that growth hormone did that.

But well, listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end.

He can't remember. That's the-- That's also what he did. It didn't lock to that. And mixed with whatever it was going on.

Yeah. I mean, there's nothing else. It becomes something else, you know? I lied. It mixed a massive start.

That's one of those lies that like everybody-- you know, it's like when bodybuilders say they're natural, like shut the fuck up, bitch. Nobody's that big. Nobody's that big without help.

“This is a bunch of goofy guys out there that still”

try to claim natural. Well, it'll come on, son. How many fucking states do you eat a day? Like the barbarian brothers? 36 eggs.

There's some guys that have free genetics. They have very unusual genetics. And they get real big naturally. But that's rare. That's super, super rare.

As a matter of fact, I got picked up by a new BS thing. Guess who was the driver? Who?

Your oral marrow's nephew.

No way. And he's a judo champion. No way. We talked in Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes. Well, they've been jerseier here.

Right here. Hey, listen. But all these Uber drivers are Cuban. Really? All of them in Austin.

I'll get him replaced by robots. Fuck that. The Cubans. Bray saw a Cuban yell at a robot a couple. Last time I was here, he got out of the car.

He yelled at the car. He realized, for you. You're a robot. He got back in the car. My bad.

That's hilarious. He got caught him off. He got y'all all the time. He's fucking way. No, I stay away from them.

They get right in front of you. They're ridiculous. I don't trust those cars in the world. And I don't see how people sit. I don't.

It's not for me, bro. Did you hear about that lady? She got into one. And a homeless guy was in the back? No.

Yeah. Some guy used the waymo. He got his luggage out. Left the hatch open. Probably figured the thing closed itself.

It didn't. Homeless guy hopped in. Shut the door. Lady gets the waymo. Homeless guy in the back.

He starts yelling out of for paying robots. Why you paid robots? I'm going to tell you about my homeless situation this week. Oh, no. Some of my door to play the egg harbour this weekend.

It's like 25 minutes outside of Atlantic City, which is an hour and a half from my hours. So, we went down for Saturdays to one minute. They won. Now, we got two more games on Sunday. So, we got a hotel.

I didn't want to get a hotel at oceans. I'm going to be at oceans in August, but I don't want to go there because all the other parents were in fucking harris. So, I said, "Fuck it. I don't want to be that guy.

I don't want to stay at harris with you."

“So, the game ended and my wife had a drive to kid somewhere and I go, you know what?”

Because every weekend, when I go on those little trips, I go to a week tour. Like last week, I went into one in Trenton. Dog. This was a block from the fake capital. You could see the dog.

The black guy called me back. He was not on it. I got a secret place. The back. He had mushrooms.

Mushroom chalk. Don't say this. There's going to be a dog. There's 18 stores in fucking, you know, you got to figure it out. I'm not right.

Nobody. I don't know what's going on in the cops. They got to bat me. I mean, that package mushrooms. All different flavors.

That's great. Why eat all the things? This week, I got a Atlantic city. I got to this one. Everyone around, whatever.

It's supposed to be the big one. The big one. The big weed store in Atlantic City. And it's right by the casino. So, as I pull up, I parked my car in front as I walk out.

That is four yoke brothers, yoke with cold chains on and one of those fucking suburban millionaire cars. What do you call the big truck escalates? No, the other one. The one that looks like they're attacking your town.

Not the, oh, AMG, G wagons? I don't fucking know. Anyway, they were saying they're in their bumping shit and they seeming they go, "Yo, we know you." And I go, "Yeah, what I'd probably hold on.

I'd catch on the way out. I thought, by the time I got out, they would leave." Right. So, I went in. I come on.

They're all outside their cars. They're all four brothers yoke, big gold chains, like "Yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on, roguing." "Nah, that's the motherfucker from the longest yard. We looked you up."

So, they're talking to me, talking to me, talking to me, talking to me, talking to me, talking. I went rockin' and rollin' and rollin', roguin' the UFC, yeah, what do you think about that? And I'm lovin' it. But in the middle of all this, this black little homeless crackhead walks his way over

and I can hear him and ask the other guy, "Who's this white motherfucker?" And the black guy goes, "That's the dude from the longest yard."

on me and goes, "Hey, Mr. Football man, watch your break out of doubt for me."

“He just bummed me out of doubt, I had to get him ten.”

I was so fucking embarrassed for me. I was freaking out of doubt. And once you break out of doubt, I mean, Mr. Football star. I gave him a ten. This motherfucker ran.

He walked up with a limp, but he ran away. Now, he was gonna rife for crack, I'm like, "These motherfuckers, they got a game for everything." I love it. I love all that shit job.

It's fun to be around wacky people every now and then. Just people live it on the edge. But that Atlantic city outside those casinos, bro. That shit's real. That's true.

A drug transaction right on the street when we were down there last. Bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a hookah get mugged or something like that. They are not fucking around. I took a ride Saturday night about ten. This gets a little ride.

Bro, you make a ride in some of those corners. You ain't coming back. And I thought by now that at least build up the outside of the scene. No, no, no, no. It's barely making money.

AC doesn't do well. Not like Vegas does. You know what I mean? Like AC's got some nice spots. You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's gonna grow.

You have a buggy outside of the town in this shit. Yeah, outside's too sketch. The buggy out of all the Italians go down with their white shoes on the weekend. It's got all, with up, you know, but not that I don't like the buggy out of that much. I like the, I like the couple hotels down there.

This is a nice place.

Yeah, we stayed on the buggy out on the first open.

You would like. You have a gig, that's right. That's right. One thing is, it's not gonna grow like Vegas is, you know, Vegas is crazy. See, Vegas had a head start.

The thing, like if they tried to make Vegas now, woo, tough sell, tough sell, too many places to go. You can gamble everywhere. You can gamble on your phone now. But when Vegas was first, there was no casinos in the country dog, but it was just Vegas.

And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blow off these atomic bombs, and then, you know, we'll put the casinos on that. They're different. I can do that.

But then we looked it up and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. So I'm like, well, what, I guess it was just gangsters. They just brought people, convinced people, there was nothing going on there. It was a pit stop. They opened the Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way.

There was something like that. Well, was it, was it in the 30s, right? Was it the 30s, Jamie?

“Didn't the guy that owned the counter store when Vegas was created?”

Yeah. And the guy owned the end. He was in charge of Vegas. And he was the same guy as the communist store. Same guy as the communist store.

So he was in charge. He's fucking genius. That fucking. That fucking was a genius. Well, they got shot because he stole at the end, the expenses.

Oh, is that what it was? The casinos, you know, he gave, in those days, they borrowed money from the unions in Chicago. And then you borrowed that and you worked off those teamster loans, those Jimmy Half-A-Lones.

So you had to build on those while the expenses never stopped.

Right. And they were like, what the fuck is going on? And he was hanging out with Jane Seymour or something going back and forth like a million air. Like a movie star, they didn't leg it.

They shot them. That's why they shot them. I think so. They shot them in this house and there's eyewitness. Yeah, and his eyewitness.

Something like that. I remember that. So as a picture of his dead body allegedly on the wall. In LA, right? Yeah.

So that was all because of the casinos, huh? But then they made it, you know, it's like when we first went to Denver, the money was too good. I don't give a fuck if it's Jesus and there's three disciples, they're going to take that envelope.

It's too good. Well, you know what it was going on in the beginning. They weren't allowed to use credit cards, so everything had to be cash. Yeah. And it was crazy.

So these guys were leaving the fucking, and they bring like six special forces guys with them. They'd have fucking green berets and navy seals and shit, like armed to the tits. Because they're transferring millions of dollars in cash. So the whole thing was so nuts, man.

No joke. It was nuts. I read this story about the dilemma, like these people are making all this money. And the crazy thing is the state was making all that money, too, because the taxes on the legal weed looked at the set, please.

It's amazing. I think it was like 39%. It's fucking crazy.

And everybody was like, sure, like you would never accept 39% on alcohol, never accept

or not, but 39% on weed, you're like, I'll take it. During the pandemic, I'm going to let you out of buy an extra tax to go open.

“That's why they called them, what are they called those businesses that had to be open?”

Dispensories? No, no, no. The businesses that they had a purpose to be open during the pandemic. Oh, residential. Essentials.

Yeah. They made that essential, but they tried the next to a tax, 10% tax really. They're making so much money off weed and California. But now, look at all the weed stores just going to close. Are they?

Jersey? They created the lemma because the state convinced them that they had a build and all this year. So all these places started, you know, you're opening up a shop minus three mil. Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get the three mil.

A lot.

There's a lot of competition. Oh, and how many weed stores are in LA? It's bananas. So in English, Tom New Jersey, there's four of them and here's where it gets better. They're all on the same block.

Wow.

“Did you ever go to that place in Inglewood with me back when it was only medical?”

Well, you should get the lollipops. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I want that one time with you. You know, the guy that ran that got shot, that do that we used to deal with.

Got shot in that store. They killed them? No. I think you lived. I'm not sure though.

Look that up. He might have done that.

Yeah, that's the first place you had the lollipops from, from fear factor.

Yes. That was from that guy. Yeah, yeah. Eagle would wellness center. That was in the 90s.

That was in the days where it was legal, if you had a medical reason. Any medical reason would do. Oh, my feet hurt. Get in there. Sorry to my.

But anybody who does martial arts has the pain, excuse, because everybody's in pain. And it does help you with pain. If you can take aspirin, THC like gummies with CBD are phenomenal for aches and pains. You remember Dave Foley? Yeah.

Dave Foley's hand. Of course you do. Dave Foley's hand was all fucked up from arthritis. He started taking CBD and now his hand is full functionally. CBD's amazing.

CBD's amazing. They just blew it up by the content a couple years ago.

“Well, who knows who's making it and what the quality is?”

That's the things when things are gray. You get a bunch of douche bags, make it stuff. You know, you still have a bit about that about the gummy bears. Like they're not making these gummy bears in the same labs or they're making Tylenol. They're very inconsistent.

You get one of them. You swear it's a thousand milligrams and the other one feels like it's a hundred. They barely make sense back in the day. Back in, you know, when the, it was the Wild West. I got some 500 milligrams of my pocket.

They feel like 500 milligrams. But now I don't think you can do that anymore. I'm talking about like way back in the day. It was different because way back in the day. There was like, it was the Wild West.

First of all, way back in the day and put warnings on this shit.

No, no one knows how many milligrams when this stuff. And I'm going to be the brownie one time and flying to Pittsburgh and we're ready. And my leg wouldn't stop tapping. It would stop fucking tapping. I remember one time we were on a plane.

You had a panic attack. And then you waited like an hour later and then pop two more. I was like, how are you doing that? You're like Joe Rogan. I almost got off the plane.

I couldn't take it. I couldn't breathe. My fucking heart was closing. It was like my chest was closing in on me. The walls were closing in.

I thought the plane was going to crash. I was freaking out. I almost had to turn the fucking plane around.

“But I'm back, baby. You have to pop two more.”

You have no idea what I put myself through over the years. Because I just want to take a chance. Columbus did. I'm sitting in home. It's too early after noon.

Your body shit. Let's see what happens. And the only thing that would hold me back is if I was spot that night. Oh, yeah. Then I would tame it.

Be like a couple hundred milligrams. But you don't want to go up on stage with too much out of bulls. Yes, you do. Sometimes you don't.

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Right. Sometimes you just stay on the trail. Yeah. But listen. You're filming a special stay on the trail.

Last week, I went to do a spot. I figured, let me weigh five weeks. I haven't been on stage since April 18th. Let me go do a spot. I'm nervous.

I get down there and it's 50 people perfect. Break my cherry. Do it. I got into such a groove. I ended up doing it out.

That was because the edible light took it before. I want to stay. No material. I told you that. I got nothing.

Right. Let's say I'm starting over from scratch. And then I talked about going to the hospital. And then it just became something else. And then I was up there and out.

Wow. I was starting to fucking throw up. Did you film it a recording? No. I just, I didn't know it was going to be gold.

Right. But that's why THC, somebody said THC, is like a band substance for comics. Because if they really let it absorb you, and I'm not telling you to smoke pop.

But then I had an audition. Whenever I have an audition, I read it.

I just got stoned. And then I go back. And I look at it again. Complete different sheet. And I can pick out things.

No, I could clean. Then I leave it again. I get high. And I come back. Like an hour later.

“And that's what I think THC makes me just rely.”

Look. I live in anxiety naturally. Naturally. I beat myself up. This morning I say theory.

I'm drinking coffee outside the fourth season. I'm like. Why am I heartbeat? Because I don't have some way to go. You just gave yourself anxiety for no reason.

Yeah.

Because I always think I somewhere to fucking go at 10 in the morning.

That's why when my daughter gets on that bus to school at 15, I start blasting. Because then I know I ain't got nowhere to go. Like, you know, you make a list every day. And you go, this is what I'm going to do today.

And then you fucking, you know, wake up. And you look at that list after you smoking. You're like, that's a long drive up to New York City today. I ain't doing that podcast. You know, that's a fucking long drive up to that motherfucker.

Yeah. The driving in New York is not a joke. That's an endeavor. Yeah. No.

You got to take a day. Like, that's your day. Your day is driving and driving out. You're not going to the gym. You're not doing all of those stuff.

Me? No. I'm saying if you've got to drive into New Jersey, that's your day. It's not like, oh, I'll go there. That's at noon.

I'll hit the gym at 2.30. No, you won't. You'll be in traffic for three hours.

I always go to breakfast.

I should early and get it all within. Like on days that have to go to the city of New York. I'll just take that as a day off. Like I worked that day before.

“So I could go up there comfortably and that's what it.”

Yeah. But it's got some days I got up in the morning. I'm going to call it up. I've got to work out today. Listen, this is one of the big things that Texas has or Austin has.

In particular, over the East Coast is the fucking traffic. The traffic here is a joke. They talk about traffic. It's adorable. You might be 10 extra minutes.

We'll do. It's adorable. It's actually a car accident happens and there's a bunch of people stopped. That shit happens everywhere in the world. But for the most part, the East Coast is so thick with people.

You don't realize it until you have to make that trip to New Jersey and back and forth. You know, when we do the UFC's, if we go into New Jersey to the UFC, then the way ends, then we have to go back to New York to play people. At six o'clock, that's good. Oh, my God.

It's crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play pool and it's fucking. It's a mad house. Think about it when it was like the last two weeks. Jim Pilar and Tina said he went into the city side.

It was three hours because of the Nick Bolshet. They weren't even playing. They weren't even playing. People were so upset that Trump was going to go to the NBA. Because if he's there, then they have all these crazy security protocols.

It makes the traffic even worse. There was no parties. There was no nothing. It just takes you to the UFC. They're going to blew him everywhere.

Oh, they blew them to that. I didn't watch the whole game. I was at some people cheered. I heard it was like cheers and booze.

“But the problem is if there's cheers and any booze.”

There's like 50, 50. Like that's don't go to that spot. Go to the UFC. People say you got booted to the UFC. I've seen him with the UFC six times or something like that.

I don't know how many times. Never get booted. They can't play well.

They've never gotten booted.

They fucking cheer. The people that say they boo in him, you're distorting reality. It's not true. They cheer him like he walks in there to the American badass song. Especially if Kid Rock is with him and Dana White's behind him.

And then sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too. Back when they were close. It was like the conservative Avengers. It was like this is ridiculous. He was cheer.

He was the kiss of death last night. But against the next last night. Me and Jamie. We were like fuck that. Getting two and a half.

Why they only given two and a half. They're up two scames. What are you retired? Two and a half. They were given last night.

Everybody in that mother. Even fucking your daughter bet the next last night. Given two and a half. Do you bet sports all the time? How often you bet?

This type of a year. I bet basketball because it's real. These defense. Do you use an app? Like what are you talking?

Draft King. You just don't draft one. Everything is on draft King. You don't have a bookie. No.

No. I enjoyed because draft King has so many fun. Like this bookies out there. They just keep bustling these mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39 people had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches.

They put the cards up and you could see through the fucking cards on the table. It's gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. We're going to pay for this in five years. But when I went to college after orientation. You walked out and there was credit card companies.

Discover, master card, visa and they give you a credit card for being a student. For 250 automatic. Right there. And now when you go to those orientation, there's draft Kings. You know the other ones.

Friend who's there. And I'm not putting them down. I love draft Kings.

These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans.

Right. Now I'm going to put a fucking thing. More people are gambling more than ever. They're not. It's all straight.

Yeah. Yeah.

“So what's the odds on the Iliatoporia just engaged you fight at the White House?”

To pick them. No. No. To pour you a has to be a huge favorite. I guarantee to pour you is to the one.

For the one. Yeah. Oh my God. Four to one's crazy. Two to one.

If you just think about what he's done is last three fights. He's had the most legendary run in MMA championship history in his last three fights. He knocked out three all time greats. Knocks out. Alexander Volkinovsky.

Knocks out. Max Holloway. Knocks out. Charles Oliver. Three in a row.

Like anybody who could do that. You go, I'm not fucking betting anything against that guy. But Justin Gachie's a tough character son. Okay. So if I bet 25 bucks on Gachie, I win.

A hundred. Four to one. Yeah. Which is. Look, it's minus four twenty six for toporia.

They're like four to one's not enough. Caesar says six hundred. Caesar says six hundred. Caesar says smart. But the thing is man, don't think that Justin Gachie can't win.

Like anybody can lose in an MMA fight. People get hit. Like in Iliotsoporia, one of his early fights. One of it.

“I think it's first fight in the UFC at lightweight.”

He took it on short notice. And he fought this dude. Jai Herbert, who's a really tall, really good striker.

And Jai Herbert caught him with a head kick in the first round.

A switch kick to the dome that dropped him. It was perfect. But he recovered brilliant. He got a hold of him, took him to the ground, recovered, and then came back and devastating knockout in the second round.

Like he fucking puts people into orbit, man. His power is crazy. He's not a big guy either, man. Justin's a much bigger guy than him. But the way he knocks guys out.

It's just dead. He knocks them out dead. But so does Gachie. People forget it. Gachie's all fucking warhammer dude.

That guy loves battles. He loves him. This is not, I don't think. To tough fight, man. There's a tough fucking fight.

I can vote this guy. And this is the Sun Bay, right? Correct. It's the Sun Day. Gachie's bigger.

Go on. Go on. So Gachie's bigger. Gachie used to fight. And what was it called?

The IFL. Whatever the organization was before he came to the UFC. I think it was before the PFL. It was like another one. But what was it?

What did he, what was the organization? Did, you know, this is his feet are organization. It's like the PFL. A lot of really good fighters have won up becoming champions. Yeah.

Starting out there. Was that it? World's here is a fighting. That's right. That's what it was.

And I mean, he was fucking people up with leg kicks. But it was the way he was fighting. We just throw himself into chaos. He didn't fight tactically at all back then. No.

“You ever see the Michael Johnson fight with him in the UFC?”

A long time. Yeah. This is first fight in the UFC. It's one of the craziest fucking fights ever. Because he just fucking throws himself at Michael Johnson.

And Michael Johnson throws himself right back. And it was up. They got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It was a crazy fight.

But eventually Justin got him. But it was the way he fought. You're like, good Lord. Yeah, he fights every day. Like a pit bull.

Like a pit bull. Like no concern for his safety. Just dive in. It was a fucking crazy fight.

And look how Justin is always just trying to kill you.

He's always moved. Look at every shot. He's trying to fucking kill you. He's always moving forward trying to smash you. And the thing is he relishes this kind of combat so much.

That in the beginning, he lost some fights that he could have won if he tempered it. And then he did. So, and then when he went on this like legendary run started beating everybody. It's really because he controlled the violence a little bit more. And he controlled the chaos.

But it was still like very technical violence. It wasn't like he was brawling dumb. He was just forcing himself into chaos so much. He was throwing himself running to the fire over and over again. This is a dangerous fucking guy.

He's a dangerous fucking guy. He's a dangerous fucking guy. I mean, he hit Kabib. He heard him with some calf kicks. His he could do that too.

He leg kicks you from inside the clinch. One of the things that he does really well is from like he could get you with like a collar tie. And he's leg kicking you. He gives him the finger and tells him to get up. I mean, Michael Johnson is getting battered.

At this point, we're in round two. And look at that knee to the body. Just everything's trying to kill you. It's not like this tactical.

“Take a chance here, take a chance there.”

No, everything's take a chance. It's like from the very beginning of the fight. And this is how we fight. He eventually took him out. But it was crazy fight.

He fights like I told Jagley used to fight. They weren't thinking about brain damage. Right. Haggard. All those dudes were not thinking about that.

We were talking about that with football before. You know what I just watched the other day. Must stop a ham show. Haggard versus Must stop a ham show. Woo.

Did they battle? Haggard took him out. But it was just. Haggler is prime. He was beautiful.

So good. He was so good. And he was so good at switching stances man. What no one was doing that back then. Haggard would fight. South Paul he would fight orthodox.

He would fuck you up. You didn't know where it was coming from. And he could fight just as good South Paul as he could. Orthodox. It was amazing.

It was amazing fight to watch.

Look, God, that guy was great. So disciplined. Yes, so good fights this week. I'm excited for the car. I thought it was sadly.

Yeah, Jamie posted up that the serial gun out explorer fights the closest fight in the card. It's in terms of odds. It's like even odds. That's a serial gun.

A tall order. That's a tall order for your first heavyweight fight in the UFC. Jesus has that as a pick-up. The pick-up. Yeah, I would say it's a pick-up.

I would say it's a pick-up. Um, serial gun is really good. And the thing about serial gun is the problems that he's had in fights or when guys take him down.

When guys stand with him, he is very tricky. He's very slick. He's very technical. And he's very light on his feet for a big guy.

Like he moves really well. Like one of the best movers in the heavyweight division for sure. He's like dancing on his feet. He also does a weird thing off his front leg.

He throws a front kick when he's standing sideways. Like an oblated stance like this. And he picks it up and twists it into your stomach. Bang like that. It's weird.

Like, I've worked. Oh, no. It's a kick. I mean, it's called a twisting kick. It's just you don't ever see people throw in that kick

from the front leg like he does.

“Like he does a lot of weird shit that you have to get used to.”

Like, that Tom Aspenal fight man. He was scoring very well on the feet. I know it got stopped because of the eyepokes. But before the eyepokes, serial gun was doing very well on the feet against Aspenal.

Aspenal's a big, fast heavyweight. It's going to be interesting because I don't, I don't, you know, know if Pereira is going to have an issue with the movement. You know, if he's going to be able to shut that movement down and I don't know if serial gun is going to be able to like,

if he's going to want to exchange with them. He might feel that power and say, I'm just going to fight on the outside because Pereira's got that. You make one mistake, power. Yeah, it was good at everywhere.

You look like he gained the way. He was he yoked. He's huge. And on top of that, no dieting. So no depleting of his body at all.

You're going to have a guy competing for the first time

where he's never had to cut weight.

That's huge. That's a giant advantage. Not having to cut weight is like they let you take steroids. You can't, you don't have to cut weight. No cutting weight at all.

If they changed weight cutting, if they cut all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd have like 20% better performances. People would be fighting so much better. Because they would, they would feel so much healthier. They would be so much more durable.

There wouldn't be as many like one shot knockouts where you're like, whoa, that got him. Because a lot of these guys, like their brain is still dehydrated when they're in their fighting. It's only 24 hours after they rehydrate.

That's not enough time to get to the brain. We go to the weigh-ups with you. And these guys would come in like they look like they had cancer. They looked dead. Yeah, I would see him and then they would live in the back.

And I think they cut out IVs. Yeah, they would cut out IVs. I'm going to be in there with you looking at these guys coming in. There we go. They looked like they were on that fucking GOP.

But attention is fucking shabby. And I was going, they were looking fucked up Jack. Yeah, they looked dead. Some guys looked real.

“You remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Luther?”

Do you remember that fight? Yeah, did you just look at him Texas? Exactly. Yes. That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a weigh-in.

He looked really fucked. And again, this was not the ceremonial weigh-in like we have now. This was like the actual weigh-in. See if you could make the weight. And Travis couldn't walk.

He was shuffling. He could pick his legs up. His lips were cracked. Like his body was dry out. That's how he could be good for you.

Oh, I'm going to pick it back up and then go through rounds. Exactly. I'll punch you the eight o'clock the next night. Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted.

But he got a hold to Anderson the first round.

It took him down. And that's what he wanted to do. And he's trapped in his juice. And Texas. Yeah.

Yeah. Kevin Homes coach. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Travis is a bad mother-in-law.

“He was when guys rolled with him on the ultimate fighter.”

You know, one of the best compliments one of the guys said he goes, "Dude, he goes, "I've rolled with only a couple of guys like that." Is like him and Ricardo Labario. I go really. I go, "That guy feels like Ricardo Labario."

He's that level. He goes, "Dude, he's like, "Dude, he was running through people." Just running through people on the ground. Travis was a beast. He was one of the first like truly elite Brazilian Gigiitsu black belts

and like the modern era. They're like the Anderson Silva era. Whereas when he got guys to the ground, you were in trouble. You were in real trouble. There's a few guys.

Charles Oliveras, the big one. Charles Oliveras puts people in position. They're like, "Oh, no. What have I done? Like you think you're going to be comfortable in his guard.

Like, bitch, you're never going to be comfortable in the ground with Oliveras."

Oliveras is just so dangerous everywhere. Everyone. You use it. You get to correct one. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been doing this with every kid. Yep. What's like, God's got to stand out.

Great camp. He's from that shoot-to-box camp. I mean, that can't produce.

“Anderson Silva, Marie Ninja, Showgun, like, cool.”

It's okay. Pay lay. Pay lay. One of the original MMA fighters back in the bare knuckle days. He was the top dude in the original days.

No, no Garrett's not from shoe box. No Garrett is a Carlson Gracie guy. Why is Carlson Gracie here? No. Carlson is in Chicago.

No, no Garrett wasn't Carlson. Carlson is in Chicago. No, no Garrett wasn't Carlson. Carlson is in Chicago. No, no Garrett wasn't Carlson.

No, no Garrett wasn't Carlson Gracie. No Garrett wasn't. I don't want to get that wrong. Who was no Garrett's trainer? Minitaro No Garrett.

He's the original Getsu Coach. He's fucking brother, probably. No, both of them were illegal. They were twins. Yeah, they were twins.

Yeah, they were twins. They were both elite. They were both, like, world class fighters and pride. Does it say his Getsu Coach?

Minitaro was the first, like, he was the first guy

that was, like, finishing elite guys off of his back in pride. Like, he was tapping to, like, when he was the champion in pride, like, you remember when he beat Bob Samp? No. Bob Samp was 350 pounds with abs.

And the fight was crazy. He picks Minitaro up and spikes him on his head and the beginning of the fight. Fuck does neck up for years. Like, his neck was fucked up after that fight.

And still survived and eventually caught Bob's happening on bar. But he was bananas. On my betech. Okay, yeah, there you go. On my betech is another guy who fought early in the UFC.

So that's his coach for one. Where did he get his black belt? Just see where he got his black belt from.

“Just ask the question, who gave Minitaro his black belt?”

Okay, Ricardo Dila, Dila Hiva. That's his primary instructor. There you go. On Kai. Yeah, he was, he was, he was, he invented the Dila Hiva.

Okay, probably. There's a bunch of moves that are attributed to guys that it's not quite sure whether or not they invented it. But they were really good at it, you know? How many brothers did that get this way, Dila?

He even played them down. That's fun. I can't finish the leg lock.

I never could have fucking parable.

I can't get my arms around him, fucking. My shoulders are fucked up. Leg locks are scary. I don't like holding that shit. He fucked him up.

You know, he twist the wrong way. Turn the wrong way. Don't you think you're going to pop E scary? You still training? No.

No, I haven't over a year. I've done anything wrong with you. That was for a while. I've got a knee problem. It's much better now.

I've been really working on it over the last six months. But it kept swelling after a while. The thing is it would get better. And it would feel pretty good. And then I'd heard it again.

And usually I heard it like a year ago hunting. I twisted it hunting. And then I've also heard it like hitting the back, too. Sometimes I just start wailing. Go back and you forget.

You forget. It's just the next day. It's sore as fuck. It's like I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee. So I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic.

You know what I mean? Because like, I don't have to tell you. Once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem. You've got to like walk that edge between. When you don't have cartilage or you don't have meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that.

Like you got to be careful. You got to be careful. They're getting real close to fix and shit. Real close. They're injecting like different kinds of gels and people's knees now that replace the meniscus.

And they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates for our budget.

They always work you with that gel.

I think it's a new one, Joey. It's like it's called a biological matrix.

“You need to fucking get like a, but you need to get like insurance approval.”

Well, yeah, I did it. That's just all those things. It's like when you see an ad for somebody. Hmm. Do you have problems sweeping by this mouthpiece?

But don't think you got what they have now. Because this is just released in Germany. This is brand new. But this gel. Like I'm just saying to you.

The gel. The quarters. I have friends with knee prawns. And they tell me what they go through. And they go to different doctors.

And it's the same fucking. We got quarters off here. We got the gel. We're not going to do the PRP and we don't do stem cell. So you.

Joe regular, you don't do no reading. This is what happened to me with the fucking why I did this surgery in the first place. You had moved here. And I didn't know about ways to well of not.

I wouldn't have never cut this need the first time.

Never. Never. I didn't read up on it because when my wife was pregnant, I read up on that shit. And I was, I didn't want to have the baby no more.

Because it said when show for 43, you'll die. If you're giving birth like so. If you're not ready when you get older as a woman. You know, now women have kids of 50s and fucking 55s. But a woman has to be this.

She has like a short window. Right. And they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. When I read that, I got nervous from my wife. I mean, she's got a diet of fucking table.

And I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't know how to fight and raise a girl. You know what I'm going to do here. So I didn't really. I researched it a little bit.

After I got the need after I went and I saw the fucking. The chisel and the fucking mouth on the table. I go, we got to look into this when I get out of here. Like this is fucking insane. I would have never done.

They're redoing me. I would have waited. Shot at which stem cell. BPC it at that time. I'm still a little fearful of needles.

So I was like, uh, BPC them. Everything is you got to shoot it. You're fearful of needles, but not about a knee replacement. That's hilarious. No, I'm proud.

Now it took four stays in the hospital last year to fucking like go. One day they had to come in and take blood out of me every 20 minutes for three hours. Why? It's that type of test. They shoot you with something to see how you react to it.

Wow. And they're all going to faint. I don't think no more. Unless like last time I was ways to well. I wanted to have on low run those tequila from the mother ship,

drinking that round of white juice and shit. I wanted it with no breakfast like we need to take blood out within minutes. I'm pale. I'm sweat profusiously able to put ice on my back and I'm my neck and shit.

“And when I did, uh, when they turned the switch off on you like, what's that?”

When you do that little, before surgery, when my first hurt to me, they said we're not going to give you pain medication. But if you're really hurting that bad, come on. Now then we'll give you a nerve block. Oh, they give you a nerve block.

I'm broken. Holy shit. Who did that? Where did they do that? Because the place where I went for surgery, the first time they shit.

Uh-huh. This place is specialized in all that stuff. So they have their own therapy. They have their own, uh, like the surgeons and then they have a pain in the park. They talk to you.

Oh, listen, you could take this. You want to go give it to you. But let's do this. Let's try it with this. They don't want you.

You know, and I understand that people lose their minds on those fucking things. So I did the nerve block for a show. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. And then when I went for the doctor by the month ago, the girl was like, I was dead at that day.

When I fainted, she goes, you didn't faint. But your show came close. She goes, you lost all the color in your face. It's crazy, Joey. Had drink water.

“And then the epidoro block, you ever do one of those?”

No. Well, no, I did when I got my knee surgery.

Yeah, they always knee surgery.

I thought they put you out for those. They did most of the time. But my first ACL, I asked if I could watch. And he said, you don't want to watch it. I go, no, I do.

I don't want to, I don't want to get this done once. I want to see it. Can I watch it? Where'd you see it? They shot it.

And they had on your spine. But they shot it in my spine. Right. And so it, you don't feel anything in your legs. And I watched them open my knee up and put it together again.

Fuck you, Joe. That's not the epidoro block. I wanted to see, I'm like, I don't want to do this once. I didn't know that I was going to have another ACL. Resurgery.

You're going to get put out for your surgery. No, not the first one. The second one I did. I can change, Joe. That block is insane.

I love you. I use our own boat and shit. But I wanted to watch. No, I want to watch a lot of things. I want to see what it looks like.

Because it's kind of crazy. They're going to take your knee. Take a slice out of your potato tendon along with a chunk of bone. And a chunk of bone for your knee cap. And then that screw it back in place.

Like, this is crazy. I want to watch. Hold up. It's still good. The real problem was the meniscus.

They just stitched it up.

There was a tear in the meniscus. But it wasn't too bad. And he thought it could heal. You know, because I was in my 20s. I was like 23, I think.

22.

“And then over time, it just got wore out.”

The tear became a bucket handle tear. And then it would lock. So it would pull the meniscus would pull up and lock in place. It was fucking insanely painful. And I was like, this keeps happening.

It happened a couple of times. It was like, it happened in Jiu-Jitsu class. And Eddie Bravo had to take me to the doctor. So Eddie Bravo had to drive my NSX. We drove straight to the doctor.

And, you know, they tell me I need to get my meniscus removed. Like, okay. And then he told me I need to stop doing martial arts. And I was like, okay, that's cute. That's the first military.

That's the first military. Yeah. You got to stop doing martial arts? I play very thick. Not much alive.

Yeah. 30 years later. Fuck you. You want those ends? Yeah.

We've used them. What is it? That's Tucker Carlson's one. So those are good. It's six, six milligrams.

These are threes. This is athletic nicotine. That's threes. I like those. They don't make you jittery.

Those take a hell of a hit. Tucker likes them strong. I like them.

But they fucking always swallow them.

They can fucking, like, you know, shit and pouches and shit. I had a pouch. They have focus ones? Yeah. That's these.

Ultra. Yeah. I do the ultra. I was doing those after I had the surgery. Those are great.

Yeah. There's a bunch of really good things for your focus. People that think it's all bullshit. You know, like that neutral person bullshit. And you're a lot of the thing whatever you want.

But trust me, from someone to use it, use this is brain for a living. There's a difference between taking new tropics. They're not taking them. It's not going to make you smarter. But it will make your brain function at a better level.

There's a bunch of shit that works like that. Like, you know, those, those ketone drinks, like ketone IQ. That helps a lot. Really? Yeah.

Your brain uses ketones. Your brain uses ketones for focus.

“That's why people that take ketogenic diets and go on carnivore diet.”

They say it gives them, like, more mental clarity. Yeah, more, more focus. It's fact.

You're like, I feel different when I'm eating, like, clean.

If I'm eating, like, carnivore, just eggs and steak. My brain works better. 100%. It's just not processing the carbs and all the fog that comes with that. Not the carbs at bad point.

But when you take this stuff, this stuff is the shit. This is my friend Derek Gorilla mind. This is a new tropic drink. It's like energy drink. No.

No, it's got some caffeine. It's got a good amount of caffeine. But it's got a bunch of new tropics. So there's a bunch of brain vitamins in there. You know anything about that?

Yeah, I'm not selling this. This is my friends. You know, I'm not a, you know, that I have a great memory of dates. And I get a different situation. Stories.

I don't know what happened last year. How come? If I talked to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays on the way home at 6. Whatever we talked about by Thursday.

I don't remember. I used to say, call me back when you find out. I fucking forget now. Like just a little face up this last few years. Last few years.

I could see, you know, I have, you know, your 60. A lot of shit changes. You, you know, it's really weird, Joe. I need eight now. I need eight.

Sorry. I need eight. Eight. What? I was asleep.

Eight. Solid. I got the wool. I need it. It makes a difference.

Six and a half. Don't cut it. Yeah. Done. I need eight now.

And don't get me started on an hour nap. Well, now I'll 15 that. But two with rear clocking me up. Yeah. If I get up in the morning, make it up a six.

So I put it on the bus. I start smoking weed and nine. I'm at a gym. I'm doing something. Boxing, PT, you know.

So. By fucking two o'clock during this days, I walk in. There ain't no stopping. There ain't no pissing. I go right to the bed, put the mask on and go right to sleep.

You just like that. I mean, there's no thought. There's no. Stop it. What is that monopoly stop it going? Get to 100.

They know that. I come in. I drop my bag. I pee and I walk around upstairs. Right to the bed.

I move the cat over. We get to fuck over. And I fucking put that mask on. There's a cat caught it with you. Oh, please.

And he goes under the blanket. She goes under the blanket. Me too. That's fine. That's fine.

But dog. It's not normal. I'm not. I don't really know. For you.

Yeah. You need a solid. I see it.

“As you get older, it's even more important.”

You know what else is really important? Creating. I take 10 milligrams twice a day. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Beautiful. That's phenomenal for your memory. And that's a really good new trope because well. I don't like the gummies. I don't like the gummies.

No. You had some gummies on the other hand. My neighbor gave me to me that you had him. I prefer to just open it up and pour it in my mouth. And then drink water.

Yeah. Me too. I like the powder too. Yeah. I put like the 10 milligrams in my mouth.

You don't put it on your food.

No. No. I put it on the smoothie from time to time. I'm like the raspberries.

“I feel like the best way to make sure that I'm getting all 10 milligrams is to just”

pour it in my mouth. And then drink water with it. Because otherwise it's in the glass. You've got to rinse the glass and get more of it in. You're giving yourself an exact dose.

Just put it in your mouth. Dry scoop it. So I just dry scoop it in my mouth and then pour the water in there. That's how I do it most of the time. What the gummies are really good for is if you forget and then just laying around.

You just eat a couple of gummies. You know. I don't know how many milligrams are in the nose. I think that's what it says at all. You know.

I think two gummies is five milligrams. I think that's what it is. I also got turned on to a three-year teenage company that has a pre-atene precursor. Is that a pre-atene precursor? Pre-atene precursor.

Pre-atene precursor. I don't know what that is. Your own body creates creatine. Right. That's all.

This helps. Oh, it's just a body. I think it's called a precursor. I don't fucking. Yeah.

I don't know. Just right off with a fucking human saying I know it. Because I'm saying it wrong. Like boltron. I don't fucking know guys.

I'm sure there's something.

I mean, there's always a bunch of...

I mean, there's...

“If you think about how many supplements are out there,”

I could lord. There's so many supplements. And not all of them are good, but a lot of them are really good. Here's another one's really good for working out beta alanine. You ever take that?

No. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Don't I take everything else? Makes you tingled though.

Makes you skin. Like I had done it. You ever take iodine? No. I had done it.

Yeah. Like you... There's a pills on me. Take iodine to help you. Suppose do that if you get radiation poisoning?

Listen. When first piss test came up, they said you would take iodine. So get that. You put chloroxin in your dick. And I put chloroxin in my dick.

I have to. Because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work. Okay? You imagine... What did you read?

You pissed through the fucking test machine. They were like, what? What is this? Do you want this in piss? Do you want this in piss?

Do you want this in? Like, at the end, like, one of the best times.

“I remember that while I take my cup of coffee and I sit outside.”

I think, you know, the whole fucking bullshit story. And then it takes me somewhere. Like after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins at a bonnet, your mind goes somewhere. And I think a chunk of my life.

And I go, what the fuck was that? Hmm. Like that was child. That was insanity. What about every time you come to my house to do the check-up?

I never let him in. He came like 11 times in two years.

I never let him in my house.

He was no I wasn't the house. He would put the shares to come. And sit outside my house for two hours. Then they would leave. They're like, what are going to do?

He's not home. I never let him in my house. I tortured that guy. He could have sent me to prison. I stole a bit of prison.

But it was such a like, first it was the eye I'd die. And then you fucking, you know, you supposed to take 20 milligrams. Yeah. I've eaten 200.

Well, I don't know. And my skin is burning. I'm fucking bread in the face. I got itchy. So I stopped with the eye.

Then I still came back positive. Then I went on the fucking, uh, white vinegar. White vinegar with a fucking bottle of catering on the Monday morning. Not a little vinegar. Not red wine vinegar.

The real vinegar that you clean your ass over. [laughter] And douchebags and all that shit. Really good clean job. That's what...

When we watched that monkey, we're vinegar because it takes all the fucking cat-piece out of it. All the shit they got in it. [laughter] So they said drink vinegar every Monday morning, bro. And it's like a process.

Like you would get high Friday. And you would hope to beat it by Sunday. But you knew you weren't going to beat it. And they're going to call you Monday. And it's like your color is yellow, right?

Like if they say yellow, you got to come in. So you wait till one o'clock and you're like, alright. You got to call in and also in today. Today, Monday, Tuesday, the night of the June, the colors are purple.

And you're like, yellow, got damn now. I got to figure out, I got five hours. The place closes at six. I got to figure out how to stop this cocaine from coming up. So then we started taking a cerdo.

What's cerdo? Cerdo is what you put in like... Jello. It's that thing. It makes the Jello jiggle with some shit.

What? This fucking cerdo. There was some winter that these days. These are just pieces. What is that?

A brand of liquid fruit pectin. Most commonly used in a kitchen as a thickening agent from homemade jams in jellies. However, it's also widely known as an internet folk remedy. People use an attempt to mask drum,

but drumming down the line. I told you. Folk remedy. It's fucking bullshit. Is it work?

No, that's why. Let's find out if it works. Uh, the myth. Many online forums suggest mixing cerdo with a large sports drink like Gatorade and drinking a few hours for a drug urine test.

The theory claims the fiber traps toxins in your digestive tract. Reality, health professionals, and medical studies show no scientific evidence

while fiber works in the gut as no effect on what your kidneys filter into your urine. This episode is brought to you by Armra. A few weeks, there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking, "Why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies?"

“That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention.”

It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, et cetera.

I first noticed it working around training,

especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try Armra, it's offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armra.com/rogan.

But again, you get your advice from the guy who's done 30 fucking years. Then you forget he's been doing 30 years because he made mistakes not because he's a fucking genius about cerdo. Exactly. And then we went from cerdo and then one day,

was cerdo anything work? Huh? Is there anything work? No, cranberry juice. What about that stuff that they used to sell?

Remember these to sell stuff? This is '90 fucking, this is '89. Man, it's all knocking. No. But you remember there was some stuff that you could buy.

And check it in on the shop. Yeah, no, no, you're saying that. Then you could buy pissed now. Now it's completely different. You could buy pissed online.

Just get that dirty fucking XPT.

“Whatever you go on, you could search hidden shoes.”

They just didn't get a rubber dick. And we don't take that piss in. Go, I had a guy who made a rubber dick. Normally, that could not start snoring Coke, so he made a contraption. When he filled up his son's piss and the hot water bottle.

And did the same thing with the doosh. And he took the doosh on the bottom. He scots taped it to his dick. And he would piss and squeeze his chest. Oh, my god.

That was a big blow up. [ Laughter ] And he was a bankrupt. They said to jail for 30 fucking years. But he had the craziest steroid of agent store that ever heard from piss.

There was a guy who was fighting, and he knew he was going to get pissed. And he was just juiced to the tits. So the legend is that they inserted clean urine into his bladder through injection. So he injected clean urine into his bladder with a needle. Whether or not that's true, I have no idea.

But this is what everybody-- this is like early days of the UFC.

Like when they first started drug testing people.

I don't even think it was in the UFC that he did this. I think it was in another organization. But I don't know if it's true. Think about what was going on on the other side of this. Your addiction is that high.

Well, these guys will end up juiced up when they're that juiced up. They're not getting off of this. No, no, I don't know. I get it. I understand.

So you understand these streams that people do. Yeah. Could you ever shoot fucking fake piss? I'm like, Joey, go piss. I'm not talking to you.

I'm going to shoot Joey's piss. A guy willing to do that and trusting that guy was finding your bladder. He could shoot piss in your liver. Who knows what this guy even does? But these are the levels that you do.

So here I am. I'm certain it won't work. Fucking nothing works. And when they're on a pool. I'm like, oh shit.

When you piss in the pool.

The pool cleaner. Clean it all. They said, not the pool will be green. So this is your logic. So I went, I took the kids.

I took one of those cubes for it. Where the crumbs smashed it up. And then I put it on my outside of a dick. Because I'm on circumcised. So I'll put the skin back.

And that would fall into the fucking piss. And then, so he told me once he got something out the last time. You fucked up the machine. That's something like that. Right?

When anyone would insert condoms fill with someone else's urine inside themselves, he said. Some athletes would inject urine into their bladder using a catheter. Oh, God, they did do that. So that's real.

Oh. So maybe that's how he did it. Maybe they used a catheter. And that's how they put the fake. But that means the wizard made it.

Yeah, that was the rubber dick. Well, it wasn't there. Some stuff that you could buy that would you get it like a head shop. And it's supposedly toxic. But does that stuff work?

Why was you like this? It's not the real. That's a real. Yeah. That was assumed that it wasn't real.

It was only screened. So on this, it had a head shop. Stuffed from the 90s. These are some of the problem. The killer was when I used drain.

Oh, okay. So this is all bullshit. Yeah. They just robbed people. Fettish urine.

Look at that. Look at that's labels. Fettish urine. What the fuck does that mean?

“It's probably a way to sell it because you have to say what.”

You know. That can piss. Not for human consumption. Oh, so that's your buying piss. Oh, that's an actual bag of piss.

Yeah. Oh, good Lord. It's something called a tinkle. It's Fettish urine. So if you just want someone to piss on you,

but no one's willing. Yeah. You're very tall. It's a story. I love the guy.

The gay club. The guy at the bathtub. I want to get everybody to piss on on the tub. Yeah.

Shayma took me to in there.

The hotel next to the comedy store.

“And they were getting pissed on in there.”

The women. And then I wake up sadly. I'm feeling good about myself. And I want to win. I see Bonnie Blue.

She had a. That chick is fucking. She got pissed on. I had a baby shower on. In her ass.

People were pissing the pussy. In her ass. I'm like, something's got to stop that woman. She's the least of her problems. Oh, my god.

I'm fucking baby shower. That I used to drain all of that was the best because that destroyed the machine. But. But the truth that the matter is.

When he said something happened last time. Well, this is what happened. I put the drain on my dick. And I walked up to the counter. And I put on the desk.

And he asked you questions. How's it been?

And I'm looking at this thing.

And they're starting to fall. Like this thing. And it's coming out of the bag. He's watching. And I'm looking at this thing going.

This motherfucker. And what he did was just picked it up and threw it. And the bag. Like when they pick it up and. Sometimes you leave the cop top off.

That was all trick. You leave the top off. And then it spilled. Oh, no. So that buys you one extra week.

But the time with the drain. Oh, it started like, whoa. But it was like shaking at the thing. Like foam was coming out of the fucking sides. That was a good.

That's what happened. There was no oxygen. That motherfucker was like, you know, boo. So I put in the fucking thing. And he called me a few days later.

He was like, listen, I wrote up a thing. I'm taking it a corp because you broke the machine. This can not continue. This can continue. This can continue.

This can continue. This is like a fucking cat mouth game. What did you put in your body? What happened? What the fuck is going on?

Jose. Jose. Hey, your machine sucks. Your machine broke. And then as they do with me.

Now, and then they put me on like this hold.

“They were like, when I even got a piss, you know what?”

What the. We're done. We can't take this mental fucking. So this is when you're in the probation apartment. Not that we're going to throw me back in community corrections.

Because they'll put you in for 90 days and all that. I messed this fucking guy. For three months, we spoke like nothing like gentlemen. I would talk to him. So I'm once a week.

And one day I said, what do you do? And he goes, I'm just a attorney and bolder bill wise. I need a beef. I need a problem. I'm on this probation.

They won't leave me alone. What do I do to get off? You just have your attorney drop a statement. I'll sign and get your probation. And that was it.

Just a guy met on the street. Bill wise. And then he got fired after the job. But he ramsy thing. He was there during the whole gentleman.

He ramsy thing. And everybody. I'm fired, I guess. I don't know. Bill wise is a great dude.

Man, he was good to me. And I told him, you asked him what I did. I told him the truth. And he goes, did you learn from the state? Yeah.

I'm here working, man. Because I'm okay. Pass it over to sign up like, oh my god. How fucking lucky am I. I'm done.

I was done. Started in '87. It was all the way to 91 for a year. I was fucking up with the peat thing. Then they put me back in the ass, but in the halfway house.

And that was even worse. I was out of control. There was freaks in there. There's fucking everything in there. Freaky girls.

I was stealing that condition out of the conference room for the my room. They couldn't deal. They couldn't handle me there either. Then you're just calling. I'm not going to fuck you anymore.

And that's what you did. Just wear somebody ragging. That lets you go eventually. Let's just say, you know what, man. They wore it.

You never going to stop. You never going to stop. And then the year later, I had like an affair with the one time I had the affair. Well, like to check that worked in the office. She's the one that had the one leg.

You do it with the Chinese food to her. It never stopped. And you think of those chunks in your life and go, what the fuck was coming on? Yeah, you're out of control. It's 31 years.

And I still won't come back to bowl because of the shame I endured. Seriously. Everybody goes, why don't you go back to the bowl? Because I'm ashamed. And that was such a beautiful city.

And I treated like it was Newark. Right. I did what I wanted. I would go to Kmart. Hang on outside.

Fuckin' the loaf of more department. And people will come out with new lawnmowers and the receipt with flyer. I get that receipt. Got a lawnmower. And get that lawnmower for 400.

And walk it up and go, my mother bought me this. I don't want it anymore. And I give him the receipt. They give me 400 cash per slip plus tax. That fucking poison us.

I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffrey bucks. I took them down. It's like when you bring us a stolen computer in there and they give you. They won't give you cash. They'll give you Jeffrey bucks.

“So you have to spend it on in the fucking store.”

You know, I had a million dollars in Jeffrey bucks a one time.

I was buying bicycles and fucking. It's just, it just, I was an animal. And I feel really guilty about it today. I'm thinking of booking the fucks theater and boulder.

So they call and they say we're opening back up. I'm like, 'I'm tickling to do them boulder. Like fucks theater. Just take my lumps of power, guys. Don't donate to something there and just call it a fucking night.

'Cause I still feel guilty, man. I'm old, but now I feel guilty by the damage. I put boulder through fucking eight. I mean, I chased through more by security on throwing fucking. See, these add 'em.

I know that the Denver Broncos were playing Cleveland. Maybe seven. Those big playoff games. Do you remember those Jamie? Talking at the mall one day.

Everybody's in the hallway. Looking at TV is on my clothes mining the stores. I went into radio shack and I popped out the fucking CD player brand new. And just put the cord around and walked out. Like, not the book does that, dawg.

That's animal. And I'm ashamed to admit this shit.

But it was like you said when you first went to boulder first.

I mean, like, this must have been a fucking grocery store for Joey DS. That's exactly what I said when I went there. It was a shame. Everybody's so, there's so, like, peaceful and sweet. I brought chaos.

Yeah, chaos. And there was too much. When I was in the prison, I brought chaos in there. I had myself open, I did, but I wanted. It was just too much.

And I, to his days. New York.

“You could shit like that because that's what New York is about.”

I was a fucking piece of shit in New York too, but I don't feel guilty about that. I still walk around the city now. But so many pieces of shit in New York. Yeah.

I was sick in boulder. But in boulder, then, how about anything like me? I was shaking down people. Some guy kept that telling me, I saw you on A&E. Remember, in the '90s and '80s, A&E was a mafia channel.

They talked to Bill, whatever, talked about A&E. They called the own family. And this guy saw me when they was like, hey, you're the guy. That's in the witness relocation plan. This is 80 fucking night.

This is way before Sammy and all those guys went in. This guy's telling me, you're a witness relocation. I got a little telling guy. I saw you on A&E. Your joys, the animal, something from Boston.

I'm like, that's not me. Stop saying that. I already got prongs and fucking boulder. You're telling people that I'm a witness relocation. I'm off your guy.

He pissed me off so much. But I just kicked this fucking door down here. Like, when I was Italian, Nick next to us. I went in and I said, doc, since I'm George, the animal I am. You're going to give me 200 a week.

Like, three weeks. Then he called the sit down. What Antonio Lodizio. And then Antonio was like, yeah, you kind of keep paying him. And the guy closed up shot.

Like, three weeks later.

And I never saw him again.

A little telling guy would always kick his shoes up. Fuck, that's crazy shit. I was not cooked on a ATM. And boulder, they had a next to Murphy's. There's an ATM you could walk into with the door.

I was going there when the case appeared tonight. And just put coke on the metal. People would come and guys. Can't take this shit back. But it was darned that I can't undo it, you know.

But it bothers you now. Well, it's above you as it just makes you listen. Listen, confused. No other fucking. I hope you remember half this shit I'm saying.

Nobody ever remember this shit. People are on. They moved on with their lives. They saw me now. They were like, that's a kind of kidnapping guy.

No, you know. My name was in the paper. My picture wasn't. And I would picture me. Everything else was in the fucking paper.

It's a guilt. It's a weird fucking guilt man. That I could have done so much better than that. If I were to play. If I were to play my cards right, I could have graduated college.

Because I fucking asked you not. Because they were going to give me everything. Just because I was Cuban. They had no Spanish people at that college. They had only like eight black that played football.

So they would do anything to get Latinos. I would have been a fucking asked you not. What did you eat deep? Yeah, but we would have missed this Joey. Yeah, but it's good that it turned out this way.

Who may ask you something?

“Have you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing?”

What would you, what would you think you'd be doing now? If I hadn't gotten into which one? This thing that would do them. Stand the cards. No.

Stand the card. You opened up everything. What would I be doing? I don't know, man. I don't know.

I probably would have fought again. Would you be a chef? Would you be? I mean, I could pin you as a chef. You love the cook?

Yeah, I do love the cook. I'm a chef. I'm a chef. How would you have found something that I enjoyed doing? What?

I don't know. I would have figured it out. What's your second love? The real problem would be if I had a kid really young. Well, so if I, you know, I know a bunch of my friends got married and had kids when they're like 2223.

The problem is nothing wrong with that.

But then that really limits your ability to just go for it. Because you have mouth to feed. That's a different animal. You know, I think about the early days of stand up when I was 21. And how I had zero money.

I mean, zero. I had zero money. You know, barely could eat.

“I remember a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels, dines and shit.”

And I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. Like, I had no money. And so I could imagine, like, if I was trying to do that, I said, Well, I'm just going to live like this for a couple of years. And I think if I work hard enough,

I could eventually start making money doing stand up and if I keep getting better,

You know, that was the idea.

It was never like have a career.

But if I had a kid and I had a wife, there's no way I would have done it. There's no way I would have to have gotten a job. And that's where a lot of people get into. You know, or maybe you think it's going to be a good investment to get a house, which it is.

But now you've got a mortgage. So you've got a mortgage. You can't just fucking lose everything. I got my car repossessed. I was broke, man.

I was broke. But I used to have to hide my cloning arously when repossessed. Shit. Yeah, I mean, it was 100% checked to check. I don't have any money in the bank.

I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot. No. This is why I started this grateful shit, because that day, as I pull up to my house, I don't know who lives there.

Yeah. I go, who lives here. Does that mean? No, it doesn't feel real. And then you ask, you say yourself,

“this is the most important thing for people listening.”

I want you to listen to this, if you have a dream or a goal, you go. I got to pay for that with comedy,

which I always thought I was just going to make a lot of sense.

And I'm going to have been fine with that. If nobody would have bothered me in my life, I would have been fine with all those sense of getting them to beat up car and doing that. Can you fix that again?

That's T.D.s. What does all that shit? You know? That's what it is. So when you look at your house,

whether it costs 40,000 or 80 million ago, I paid for this doing $15 set at the Comedy Store. Yeah. When you got into this, you just wanted to survive. Never mind the fucking house and cars.

And you never dreamed of this would stand up. I know I didn't. I never dreamed of this with anything. No. I never thought I would be a person who had money.

I dreamed of being a funny person and to be funny enough to make a living and stand up. Yeah. I never saw this part of it. So when I pull up in my house and I go,

that was paid with 20 hours sets. Twenty-five hours here. Fifteen here, hundred here. Yeah. That adds up.

I'm not saying that. But that was paid by a dream. Yeah. Not a job. Not something.

My family did.

“I wasn't forced into like raising lemons.”

Or whatever the fuck people do. That are decent. You know, grow lemons. Yeah. Seriously.

We were going into this. This is something we got into and said, I just want to survive. I just want to be able to eat three meals and get enough gas to go to the next thing.

Forget money in the bank. Forget it. It's overrated.

I would never even open up a bank.

I didn't open up in the bank. I was 40 years old. You know, I just ran on whatever the fuck. I would open and put 20 in and write a bounce check and fucking move on and pray that nobody caught you.

You know, and people have no idea what that feeling is like. I get in my car and I go, holy shit. How many cars that I had that had? What are those bungee cords? Yeah, bungee cord.

Don't have a car when I first did comedy. Had a closer door to bungee cord. Across my thing, it was like my combination seat belt because if I took a fucking right turn, the door would open.

You know, the door would just ring open. Now I'm in a car that's fucking I paid for. With comedy, not drug, nice one. Not anything. No, whether it's nice or not you paid for this without

nobody's interference with somebody, with something that somebody told you never be good at. You never be good at. Somebody at least said it to you one time, Joe. Come on man, come on.

Come on, Joe. You never got a what do you think you're going to be on HBO or fucking Richard Prire and George calling you laugh, but you're like, they kind of right. They were fucking wrong.

We didn't know it. We just didn't fucking know it. Well, it's like telling someone I'm going to run 200 miles. They're like, no, you're not. You can't even run around the block.

Like, no, one day I'm going to run 200 miles. Like, no, you're not going to run 200 miles. And most of the time they're right. But if you're one of those motherfuckers, this is like it might take me 10 years to develop the endurance to run 200 miles.

But I can't even if I start right now. Next month, I'm going to be able to run five miles. You know, in six months, I'll be able to run 10 miles. Then I'm going to keep going. But then you quit before the miracle happened.

Well, I see somewhere along the line. How many people do we know the quit?

“How many people do we know that we're really talented?”

That we're really funny. I'm just disappeared. And now you seem like we're ashamed anybody. But there's a few guys, and this is one guy at the early days of the comedy store that I really tried to help. I connected them to my manager.

And I was like, this guy's legit. I'm like, you're funny, dude. Like, you're good. If you just fucking sit and then had a bunch of personal problems, had a kid. They, I think he had some legal issues.

Damn. But that guy, I'm like, I'll tell you later. Who was? No, no one. But I was like, that motherfucker was funny.

He was funny. Wait, funny. He was great. Like, there was this fun dude to be around. He was a cool dude.

I was like, he's going to make it. There was people I looked at, and I got all that away from it. And I am, holy fuck. You were both like the same age, too. We were like 27 when I first met him.

And he was like, nobody ever did anything like that for me before. You were like, nobody chose help me. Nobody. I was like, listen, man. You, you'll do it too now.

You, you'll make it. And then you'll do it too. Well, I'll do it. It, it, it helps. And it doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt. You would all to help somebody. But it helps them. And it helps you. It helps you feel better.

“You feel better that you're helping someone.”

It's like, it's a, I always say that being generous is kind of selfish.

And away. Because you feel better too. Like when I'm generous, I feel better. I do. Yeah, yeah, we all do.

And when we're kind, and when we try to help people, you feel better. It's good for you. It's good for everybody. And it's like, that's a message that the world needs to hear.

Like, you could be good to people. And if you're good to people and you're nice to people, it'll help you too. And if you find someone who's got something, you got, and you're doing a thing.

Like you're doing a thing. And then someone's got a spark. There's a little talent. Help them. Help those people.

Give them advice. Give them a push. Let them open for you. Well, you know, watch their set. Give them some feedback.

Help them. Because, you know, We're not in the comedy business show.

I'm never in the comedy business.

I don't know what anybody's talking about. We're in the karma business. It's a little bad. I'm in the karma business. I am not in the karma.

“My goal every day is to make somebody's day.”

One person. A woman at a supermarket. You're looking fucking bad at a motherfucking thing. How's thought that Joey? Yeah.

That. I just made her a fucking day. Her husband sees her every day and never tells her she'd bang it. And I'm going up to this late. I don't even know.

And I'm like, damn. If I was 20 years younger. You know, they're older than me. That's right. You know, that's my thing every day.

Just make somebody's day. One person. Yeah. You can't save the world. But one day, a gesture, a handshake.

A couple dollars is not going to set you back. That is kind of what you. If you're. If you're doing a thing or you doing something that people enjoy. Like think about like your sets.

Like think about how many people have kind of seen you and you change their night. Gone to see you. Like how many nights at the store. People come in. You want to see a show.

You want to see a show. You go on stage and rock that fucking place. They leave their hold in their side. They're like, ah. And they go out and get some meat out from us.

They're like, what do you say that fucking thing about? And they're like change people's evenings. You change their feelings. You change the way they feel. And you feel good because of it.

It's like this weird exchange. The reason why we love killing. Especially people that are really good at it. What they love is that they're making other people happy. That's really what you love.

I love it. You're making people happy. And you feel happy because you make it. And when you don't, well, you feel tear. I feel I do better when I look at the audience and they laugh and they laugh and they laugh with them.

Once I laugh, you're done. Yes. You're done. Once I start laughing and giggling. If it's real.

Parties of, yes. No, it's real. It's real. It's real. When I look out there and I see somebody that should not be laughing.

And then laughing at something blue is shit that I said. And I don't expect them to laugh. That's what makes me laugh. Or they look on their face from the shock of you saying something.

“That's what always kicks me into this fucking mode.”

Yeah, it's beautiful. It did good. The thing I want to talk about on this podcast. Because I was talking with my friend of mine, Josie Snandas. And this is the other thing people don't see.

We're very blessed because we went to LA or we were going to fuck we went. And one day you're talking to somebody. And two weeks later, they were going to fucking the biggest movie in Hollywood. Yeah. And it's very hard to explain the people to sit, believe in yourself.

And just keep showing up and that this happens. But since people don't have to see that happen in their world in Jersey.

When you see a guy that's the lottery, he can win the million dollars.

That's their way out of this life. For us, it was like, we saw too many people make it like this. Like one day, they had nothing in the next day there on CBS. Fucking doing a show for eight years. Whether it's Kevin or whether it's fucking the other guy, the great guy from Pittsburgh.

You've seen that. So it gives you hope. Now, at that situation, you could say, fuck that dude. He's a fucking loser. You could go good for him.

He just moved and knocked up a little bit. So I could get on that conveyor line. That's the beauty of it. Not looking at that person going, fuck him. He sucks.

He stole my joke in Pittsburgh who gets a fuck about Pittsburgh in the 89. Guys on TV now. Whatever he is, be happy. Because you're next. You know him.

You fucking do sets with him. Right. You're there in the rotation. I'm at the story now. Yeah, it can happen for you.

It happens. So when you see it, you go, oh shit. Okay. Now I know what I need to do. That's if you're real.

That's if you're real. I need to get off coke. I need to cut the shit out. I need to do this, this and this. Just to get me closer to that.

Yeah. Because I see it too much.

And next year when I got out some Beverly Hills, most people don't see that. Right. So it's tough to explain to them. What?

Deb?

“Because everybody thinks you're going to hit the lottery in your life.”

It's going to change. Boy, are they mistaken? Everybody thinks 10 million dollars going to change their life. And make them a better person. It's not.

It's not. We think it's going to. Like when you were broke all those years, you used to say I can't wait to have money.

You never said I can't wait to have money for what.

I never thought I would have money. Me neither. I never said I can't wait to have money. My thought was I want to like make a living. That's it.

That's it. That's why I was. Even when I first started with stand up. Like it was just to make a living. It was just doing this.

I was a fucking loser in like regular society. I was good at kicking people. I was a loser in regular society. I was like I didn't graduate college. I barely got out of high school.

I wasn't paying attention. I didn't care about school. All I cared about was whatever I cared about. Whether it was drawing or whether it was martial arts.

“Those are the things that I cared about.”

That's it. So I always felt like I just need to find a way to live. Because I'm never going to be a successful person. I had like resigned myself to that. I had no aspiration.

You. Yeah.

I thought you were way worse than me.

Because you were in and out of jail. No. I had no family, felonies, no G.D. I was set to fucking die. Yeah.

And that little fucking accident I had when I was 25 years old. You know, it's like right now you're going. You look at the news and there's this big thing going on. By the ice facility by my house in Jersey. In Newark.

They keep breaking bang. And I'm sitting there going. Yes, I was stupid. We are as American. I don't know Americans know this shit.

When you go to jail, you lose all your rights. You know, I don't go to jail, Joe. Because that's leap at me machine. Doesn't mean nothing in jail. We don't give you die.

Right.

“You know what you have to do to get on a leap at me machine in jail.”

You've got to go to a manufacturer to send it to you directly. Which we'll get into the later. But my point is that. Fucking. What was my point?

I don't even know. I got so high before.

You're point was that you never thought you were going to go anywhere.

I never thought I was going to go anywhere. And so comedy came around and you realized, oh, this is a thing that I can do. But all I wanted was 4,000 a month. And my mind I was such a loser. But I said to myself, if I can make 4,000 a month, I'm a millionaire.

And today 4,000 a month doesn't even get your rent. Right. Not even nothing. But then 4,000 a month was like 8,000 a month. Yeah, 8,000 a month now.

And you would say, OK, if I made 100 grand a year, I can live. Like you can live off 100 grand a year and be comfortable. Like that's the goal. The goal was always just to be comfortable. But the thing with you is I realized it's like very early on. You were going to take a different path.

I remember watching like you emerge when you really started like killing on stage. And I was saying, and then, you know, all these agents, you remember I had that one agent that we get mad and I'll take you home with me. Here we get mad. I was like, what the fuck is wrong?

He's not, I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's talented. I go, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know anything. I go, why is he making me laugh so hard?

He's like, well, you're a degenerate. Like, you're a crazy person. You got to realize the audience is offended and you. That's your audience. Shut the fuck up.

I knew that you were a different path. So for you, your emergence came with the emergence of the internet. And when the internet came around and we started doing podcast, I'm like, this is the way that Joey's going to break. Because they'll get to see the real you.

When I told stories, let's like 24/7 on HBO. You may hate fucking, I don't know. Throw any name up. You may hate that box for some reason. Whatever he's cocky, but then they show you his house.

And they show you he's got four daughters. And they show you that he wakes up very morning and feeds the daughters. You thought he was a fucking animal in the cages in that animal. But in life, he's just a regular guy. And you get to see that and go, no, I like him.

I don't see a guy that just punches people in the head. I see a guy that's, look at him. It's got fucking makeup on for his daughters. And he's cooking breakfast very morning. And then he goes, trains like that Jason.

And what was on the name? The big young brother from the UFC Alexander. Membie came and he was knocking heads and they found that he couldn't do jujitsu, great guy though. He was in the basement.

He was in the basement. Yeah, yeah. I watched that thing out there. He was raising four girls. His wife, the crack mom left.

That was a tank. He was a tank. And he would train in the morning and then go home, cook for the kids. No one knocked out Keith Chardine. Big upset.

Big upset. Big upset. And then he just tried to take him out. And Houston Alexander was throwing bomb. He was a big and fucking straw.

Jack. And he was a radio DJ. You know, he was a radio DJ. I didn't know that. Yeah, he was a hip-hop DJ.

I'd love to know he was a big DJ. Yeah, he was a good guy.

He always talked with the airport.

Very good guy. Very good guy. Very good guy. Wow. But you know, I knew that once I was able to tell my story where I came from.

It was, I didn't know how to do it on stage. Then after I did on a podcast over the years, I got better enough to learn how to do it on stage. But you did figure out how to do something on stage. That was the switch. And the switch was, you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot on stage.

And stage. So that was killing. But it went like that. I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you. I was like, this is wild.

And I'm going to tell you some of the reasons I was too focused on material. You're too focused on your fucking material. And you know, at the end of your material sucks, I've heard it already.

“And that's what I would think in my mind.”

So I would do better when I went up there. Just with one thought and attacked it. You know what I mean? I mean it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you. Yeah.

No, you, what you, what you did was you treated the audience like they were your boys. And we're all hanging out versus treated the audience. Like I'm a comic here some jokes.

Like when you first started when I first, what did I meet you in '96?

'97. When I first met you, you were doing jokes. Right. Go on stage and do jokes on the paper. Don't focus on that.

At 1130 at the store, your jokes don't mean shit. They just saw three hours at that much comedy. What are you bringing to the table? You're going to go up there and tell me what I saw in the news. And who taught us that?

Paul Mooney. How to relax. He was just go up there in my mind. He was just vibing with the audience. He did a lot of that.

And it worked. And I took that realm of relax. Mooney taught us a lot. Relax. He was a real veteran.

You know, he was like one of the only guys when we was there that was there during the prior years. Right. And was respected. He wasn't like one of those.

“There was a few guys that were still hanging around.”

No.

Literally acts from the New York.

There was still doing like Spruce Springsteen jokes. It was too bad. But his laid back. Yeah. Out of two.

Always topical too. Always new shit. Anytime new shit was going on on the news. He had 10 solid minutes on it. And quick.

Yeah. That day. That night. That day. He was crushing on stage once.

We were dying. The back of the room. Oh, that's right. I write motherfucker. I write.

Yeah. None of these. We were dying. But that kindness taught me how to. I was going up there and rushing.

Yeah. I was going up there. Two mistakes rushing. And worrying about that material. Like it was Bible.

Right. I'll give you an example. Sometimes I get in audition. Right. When I was doing the audition.

When I learned that early and I was auditioning. Then if I focused on that line, those lines. I wasn't going to book that part. So I had to dip into Marlon Brando's fucking tools. Marlon Brando didn't reach it.

He put those signs on you. So you've thought more organic. But it wasn't even that. It was no who your character is. I could tell you to go fucking mother 18 different ways.

Right. Right. So it's the same thing. You have to just learn not the words. But what he's trying to say in that.

You don't need the words. The words are bullshit. What is this guy trying to say in that? Yeah. You take some of the sentences that he's saying.

But you slow it down. And that's what he did in that scene. When he tells everybody if my son should hang. By a both the lightning. You then out.

Marlon Brando and the hotel scene. That's a beautiful fucking scene. If you love that shit. Like I do. Oh, those motherfuckers were orange signs.

You've seen the behind the scenes of that. So the their words, the script was on papers. So do vow was sitting across from him with a billboard. That's hilarious. That boss was sitting across from him.

And you see him like he just looked up. And that I will not forgive. And he taken another pause and looking another cue card. And because he wanted to be organic. He didn't want it to sound like those fucking lines.

That's right. And that's for everything. If you know the character, I know the character. I know me. See?

Everybody had signs though. That is really crazy. But it worked. Did it work? In the godfather.

Did it work? Okay. So go fuck yourself. There's much in this thing where they were very skeptical about him playing. Oh, did you see the Sony thing?

Yeah. Sony seems very good. Yeah, very good. Very good.

“I think imagine skeptical about Marlon Brando playing the godfather.”

Well, brother, he had shot a movie. Butnee on the bounty. And they went down there and the mother fuck the fuck that chick.

He was in a hut.

He gave like the AD, the camera.

You didn't hear about that? Yeah. That's a huge story. That's a popular now, right? No.

No. And then a popular snile. He went to a meeting. They gave him all this loot. And they told me you got to show up 180.

Like you're supposed to be a green beret. Right. He showed up 400.

“Well, that's why they kept him in the dark, right?”

They kept him in the dark. And he showed up. He didn't give a fuck. He didn't. Oh, ever.

And that's why they hate him. But at the same time, you got to love the mother fuck because it's working. Yeah. Well, it was authentic. Right.

Yeah. That Apple TV show was very interesting. It was very. And I met that dude. Remember, he created the longest yard.

I already did the longest yard from scratch. When he did the Godfather, I think he didn't take two. And he went to do the longest yard. He loved it. So he created the longest yard.

So we shot our longest yard. He was very Friday for his little check-up. Big number fucker. Big dude. Good dude.

Big hands and shit. We just talked to him about stuff. Good dude. So I got it. Like that mother fucker.

You know, brother. And I think he did some mouth after that. Look at the movie. See that. The Jamie.

When you got a minute Paul Rudy's films. What was the other question that it asked you earlier? About? I asked you to look something up. We forgot.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God. What radio station?

Is he still doing it? Yeah. Yeah. It says he currently is. He currently is still.

Look at that. We got to call him. I think he fought recently.

“I think he had a fight like within the last couple of years.”

Did he? This says 2017 for MMA Box. Bareknuckle boxing in 2023. That's it. Yeah.

One of four of his bareknuckle fights. Yeah. Bareknuckle fighting. Do the DJ. You have to see veteran.

It's a fuck. It gets some bareknuckle fights. Fucking great. You could DJ him and go fight somebody. Crazy.

Yeah. And that's life man. That's just life. That's worth living. You got your money.

Yeah. You got your money. You want to sit at home. Be cemetery with whatever. With like, you know, watching TV and you scared.

They're going to bomb you. You're done. You got to keep fucking living. That's what, you know. Yeah.

You got to do things. That's the thing about life. You got to do things. Too many people just sit around wanting to do things and not doing anything. It's hard to get moving though.

That's what a lot of people find.

They find it's hard to like go out to that club for that first open mic.

Stepping to that gym the first time. Like D-Rod, Danny Rodriguez. Did you see that podcast?

“We talked about how we got arrested in Tijuana.”

You know, D-Rod from the UFC? Yeah. So D-Rod beats Kevin Holland. Right? Goes to San Diego, celebrating.

And his boys like, let's go to Tijuana. Fuck yeah. Let's go to Tijuana. Just go drink. Have a good time.

Just one huge fight. Top 15 UFC Welterweight. Has an ounce of weed in his bag. He thinks, well, weed's legally California. Weeds decriminalize in Mexico.

Who cares? Maybe I'll bribe somebody. I'll get out of this. It's a federal offense to bring weed in. And even though weed's decriminalized in Mexico,

it's not for visitors. It's only for Mexican citizens. Yeah. Bro. How do you go to that one?

Well, one of things he had to do is become a Mexican citizen. So he's got dual citizenship now. Yeah. He was in jail for fucking eight months, man. Oh my God.

Yeah. He was just training in jail. He was doing great. He looks great now. But when he got out, he was like, I had no protein.

So I'm in there working out every day with fucking eaten noodles and potato chips. No protein. No protein. And so he got real thin. Like he showed a photo of him like the day he got out.

I mean, the fuck was training. And every day twice a day in jail. It's like, I'm going to make the most out of this. But it's his no food. The food's terrible.

So he's probably a waste of the way. I think I used to get protein. He couldn't. He asked to try to get it. He said, you get girls.

He could get all these different things. He goes, he couldn't get fucking good food in Mexico in Mexico. Yeah. And he was a sell mate with a cartel guy. The cartel guy took care of him.

The cartel guy recognized the look. We took care of you. Hang on with us. And he just said, I'm going to just keep my nose down. Just train.

But he said he got a bunch of guys training with them because they were inspired. They're like, fuck yeah. Let's train with Debrot. So he had all these guys in there. He said, some of them were fucking talented.

No prison's fun. I don't give a fuck. Well, everybody tells you. Once you get to your destination and you meet your homies and you create a little thing, it's like anything else.

We just can't step out the walls. But you make it happen. I laughed a lot in that bro. I laughed at you dead because nobody's funny in prison and black people. I don't give a fuck.

What data are there? The true kings of the prison system. And I had the two best. I was at the two best.

And you know, sometimes that's when you first did stand up, right?

First did stand up just for the end mate.

They had a good night. It just talks from shit. Doing the movies. They would go, this movie sucked. They'd be like, "P.T.109."

“You know, we don't want to see fucking Kennedy in a movie.”

Get up there, cute. But I would just go up there and fuck around. And it was nothing that was, I had the thought about anything. Like that. You said something before.

Thinking about the first time you went to that open. Mike Boy was that scary for me. Terrified. Took me eight months. I was such a pussy.

I would call it comedy works in Denver every week. And every week I'd cancel. So we did. I would three months. But I don't feel good.

Then Mike Boy, I've got glasses. And what she's a hate of. She heard me on the phone and she had some mother-to-baby sit. And she drove me down and I got on a set. I'm going to get off that stage going on.

I'm going to do this. I'm married with a kid. And three months later, she came home. She was like, "You're a loser. I don't want to be married to you no more."

But yes. [laughter] Holy fuck. You just did me fucking solid. Then she did me shitty afterwards.

But the point is she at least got me to that open mic. So I'm going to be grateful for something that she did. You know? The first steps, the hard one. What I was saying about D-Rod, like the first time I ever went to the gym,

his girlfriend got to my membership. She was like, "Because he drove by at a bunch of times.

He thought about training, never went in.

He had a bunch of street fights, never went in." I said, "I think I could do that." And then finally, she's like, "Look, I got your present. I got your membership." I told that thought.

Can I go pee? Where'd the two hour mark? We'll be right back. We'll be right back. I got to go pee.

And we're back. That was a tremendous pee. Oh my God.

“There's the worst way you try to concentrate, and you have to piss.”

No, that's the worst. You can't fall. That's the fucking worst. You have to drive. You shit and you go pee.

And I'm two and a. I just pull over. Yeah. I weigh whatever I pull. I open up the bulldozer.

I make believe I'm looking for something. And that dick is out peein'. I pee on the little leaf field. Yeah. I have to surgery to get me a handicap's barking.

I'm living like a doctor. You don't know what life is until you have a handicap barking. You just pull right up. He's always the spot. Always.

Yeah. It's like both be the way. When I got in the mail dog, I was happy. That made me so happy. Fuck walking.

When I go to a bench now in Philadelphia, I just pull up and shit. Put a neck brace. I walk out and shit. It's been beautiful, Joe. What do you have to do to get worse?

The doctor. That's it. What doctor was like, "Oh, do you have it after surgery? I get a feet for six months."

And then he goes, "Hold on one second."

“He's like, "Go, you qualify for everything.”

You have everything on this list. Everything go." And they gave it to me for fucking like three years. Oh, nice. Yeah.

I fucking, oh, tremendous Joe. How does it feel right now? You're all right? Yeah. It feels okay.

I just listen. What happens is you do something every week. Like the second week I went, third week I went. A couple weeks I went boxing. And it was good for like three times.

And one day I went and I had a plan, 25 minutes, eight rounds. On the bag or the speed bag. But I do the bags and I alternate the bags. Sure enough, round number six. One of the guys comes on.

He goes, "Joe, let's hit the mitts. I'm excited. You know, he's a young guy. Let's do it." I left there and my fucking leg blew up from that right points to cross because everything

won't walk into it. You're also moving around when you're moving around. You're moving around. So I said, "Fuck it. Now I gotta stand in front of the bag."

So I learned my lesson. And then last week I went to P.T. And that motherfucker had me. I mean, I love him. But TJ, this motherfucker had me doing deadlobs.

Lips and war squads with a thing where you're weight on the back. So it's all just a strength in the muscles back up. You have to stretch out. But I prepped. I listened to you guys. I did everything I could before the surgery.

That's what made it easier. I called Jack Torrey. I was doing shit in five days. I didn't have a cane no more. I was done.

I started driving that eight days. Not because I couldn't. But because I was sick and tired of my wife driving me places. And then I got a, you know, argument on the right hand and legs. No problem?

Yeah, like a motherfucker. Wow. That's great. It was the right foot, which is the accelerated breath combo. So yeah, but yeah, I was out of the house.

You know, the pain pills were done after eight days. Then I had to bring them back for PT. They were fucking killing me after PT. So after PT, you pop long gone, put ice on it, rub it down. With the cream and stay off it for an hour or two.

But then at night, I take a walk around the neighborhood. You can try to strengthen this shit. Right. You know, we're talking about outside. Let's say you're in hospital for five days.

And you eat cereal for five fucking days. You gain weight. You muscle breaks down and goes away. Like five days stay in an hospital. You can fucking kill you.

Just because again, there's not that much protein. You're not getting 150 grams of protein in that. And you're not moving. And you're not moving. And you're not moving.

So that's the big one. I prep for the surgery.

“I took all the supplements ways to tell me everything.”

Best Marine. I took shit. My fucking piss is like closing the dark at night. Purple, yellow. It's fucking amazing.

I did all my PT's, all my BPC's. 157, all my TB 500. I did them for fucking to the tea. Like they told me to. And, you know, listen, I'm 63 and it's a 63-year-old knee.

So I don't expect to be in the UFC fighting. No guarantee next week. But I could walk around enjoy life with no fucking pain. Or no, it's not pain.

It's like you always have an issue.

You know it. Yeah. You always have that thing we in need. Sometimes it's fixed long. And you gotta do simple shit.

You gotta get your piece of paper put on the floor and just roll you. Heal back and forth 20 times and do kicks when you're sitting around. All those things help to me. You get that band and you put it around your leg. You just straighten out your leg.

I do that at home. This is shit. I do it home. You know, instead of watching TV, it takes 15-fucking minutes. 15-fucking minutes at your time.

And I got the bull work. They sent me a bull work. What's that? The thing I told you last time about, it's isometric shit. Oh, okay. So you did the bull work right there.

The deadless at the bull work and now I'm fucked because I don't know how to change the strings. So I got to learn how to fucking change the strings. But that's all it was. It was preparing for the surgery.

You can't just go in there and not strengthen the little muscles around it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah, you gotta do something. It's very important. Especially if you're going to go in the surgery.

I know a lot of people that have had knee surgery and didn't do that. And it's a big deal.

“It's like, you don't go to PT. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Yeah. That's they came. Listen, I had the surgery Thursday when my last knocking Friday. Fuck an afternoon. I was home Friday from the hospital.

And they said they coming over to that. I'm gonna fuck at me. Going up and down stairs, walking outside with the cane. Getting in the other tub. He was, I don't even have a tub.

I was walking child. But he was like, I'm gonna do everything with you. So it was pretty fucking, like I said, this surgery was a lot better. A lot better. The company.

And I did business with it. It was a lot better.

Last time I did a senate state.

That's like a medical network and New Jersey. Not bad to have a great facility there. But, you know, when I went to do the surgery, I could pump you a set. When you go talk to that guy before the surgery.

Ask him about the sanitary conditions at the hospital. So in that way, I said, hey, what's the sanitary conditions at the hospital? He's like, you hear rumors. And then when I went for the surgery, they prep me off. They gave me everything they gave me.

The IV, they were right about to do that. They gave me my back. And he said, well, not doing the surgery. I don't agree with the sanitary. I was pissed.

But I'm like happy. I couldn't end it. The doctor didn't agree with the sanitary conditions. He came out and said, no, not to that. We'll do it next.

We got a different hospital. What? Yeah. That's, of course. So what people get in nurse or something?

Something. That's the nurse over there. And then like, no, everybody was telling me, be careful with the nurse or in that hospital. But the funny thing was he gave me a 20 milligrams of oxygen. We'd say never gave you.

That's a strong motherfucker. I forgot I took it. Remember I told you, I forgot. I'm going to try and he's restaurant yelling. Gino.

We got the fuck is wrong with me. Oh shit. I took that 20. I was fucked the way that I was on that thing. So they give it to you before the surgery.

Yeah, just one of the precaution. They did that. The precaution. Yeah, precaution. Whatever the fucking.

So you don't wake up in the middle of surgery. Y'all in the fucking screen with like a pussy. They do that. The epidural with the epidural was tough because I felt it in my nutsack. They give you a couple shots.

A little shot made me actually go like this because I felt it on the bottom towards the end of the nutsack. I don't know what I mean. Potatoes part. But towards the end, close to the muffler. I'm just like, this is not boy though, done.

What is the thing they do? I saw this video online about it.

“It's like, I think it's called nerve ablation.”

I might be making that up. But they literally like cut the nerves off. When people have back pain. Like some people have back pain. It's like they're in constant nerve pain.

And they were showing how they just snip the nerves. And I was like, well wait, wait a minute. Is that hinder your movement? Like, what happens there? Is this it?

Yeah. So what is that? Radio frequency ablation for back pain management. What does it mean? Like, what does that, what do they do?

Because the way I was looking at online, I'm like, it looks like they just cut the nerves. A minimally invasive outpatient procedure uses heat to intentionally damage nerves, carrying pain signals from the spine to the brain. Primarily provides long lasting relief for chronic back pain, caused by arthritis, or facet joint degeneration.

Wow. But does that mean your back just keeps getting worse, but you don't feel it? What happens when do you do that? Duration?

The procedure typically takes 30, 60 minutes.

You could usually go home the same day. Pain relief is not immediate.

“Often takes one to three weeks for the nerve to fully settle.”

Relief typically lasts anywhere from six to 12 months. Although it can last for several years for some patients. Are the nerves permanently destroyed? The nerves regenerate over time when the nerve grows back, your pain may return, but the procedure can be repeated.

Whoa. Was the recovery in risks? Was the risks? Uh, complications are rare, but include infection, bleeding at the insertion site, temporary numbness, or skin irritation.

Oh, normal stuff. Huh. Interesting. Pain, that's not, man, just shut off the pain. You kind of want to know if it hurts though, no?

I would imagine like you're doing more damage if you're, if it hurts. Right? I call it as long. You're numbing it. Right.

And then it keeps getting worse, but you don't feel. Well, especially court-a-zone with court-a-zone, you can only do that so many times for like joints. Like it can degrade tendons and stuff. Because some people, their knuckleheads, they just keep getting court-a-zone shots.

Next thing you know, your shoulder falls apart. Yeah, you don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You get tear.

“That's what they'll let you do if you let them.”

So this is what I'm saying. Unless you check out what ops, listen, it's 2026, man. I'm scared of needles. I'll tell you half my life. I fucked up because I was scared of needles.

If I would've just, I don't know what it was. I was just scared of needles. Now, I'll fucking take a needle wherever the fuck you want to give it to them. You know what I'm saying? Like now, you can shoot me when I'm standing up.

I don't want to get used to doing peptides needles. Yeah. And those just died better than needles. They don't do f***ing. Yeah.

Good to stop taking medicine if you don't want to do that. Oh, that makes sense. So if you're in pain anyway. Yeah.

So a success rate is 70 to 85 percent.

It's most stressful when the procedure targets the medium branch nerves responsible for a facet joint arthritis. Success. Typically refined is 50 percent or greater reduction in lower back pain. Better physical function reduce need for pain medication.

That's big. If there's some people, they're just to f***ing, and especially back stuff. Some people are just in agony every day. They wake up, and they're just in agony. And it's a long road back, you know, to get in.

If you have back pain, it's a long road to heal that shit. And you've got to be very, very smart about it. And you've got to stretch. That's one thing that a lot of people don't like to do. A lot of lower back pain.

A lot of that is to, everything's tight. And you can stretch and relieve a lot of that shit. A lot of that. Yoga comes in handy. You don't go any more.

I do a lot of yoga things though. I have it. Yeah. Well, I still have a yoga room in the studio. I've never used it.

We've got a heated room. We could crank that fucker up to 105 degrees. I haven't done the real life. I'll tell you what else I did after the surgery that worked. The hyperbaric chamber.

Oh, yeah. That's big. I did that twice a week. I still got that shit delivered. Covering.

For recovery. That's fantastic.

My oxygen levels always low jaw.

I got to figure out. I talked to ways to out of my every morning. 88%. You know, I'm always in the red zone. Because I think lack of oxygen is helping me burn fat and a lot of the shit.

My oxygen is at 88 someday. Is any fucking five? Why would that help you burn fat? Because you need oxygen to do everything. You need oxygen for a fucking fire.

So if you have low oxygen, you burn fat. How can you recuperate? How can you fully recuperate? No oxygen in your fucking. I think I don't fucking know.

I'm not sure that's correct. But I think that the more you exercise, the more you're going to get oxygen in your system for sure. Well, I want to break pain chamber will help. But once you're like fully healed up. And you can really exercise on a regular basis.

It'll get back to normal. Not because I do breath exercise every morning.

“If you have to do up to breathe through your nose like ten times and then hold it.”

And then I take the. What do they think is causing it? The low oxygen. They don't know. They don't know nothing.

They don't know nothing. But I'll take the cord and the clip that you put on your finger. I put on my hair. It gives you better read. What's more accurate?

So far the ear for me. I learned that from an old Filipino lady. Yeah. The hospital. She had all the tricks.

So I do that. I test it. You know, when I wake up in the morning, I have it. I check my blood pressure like twice a day. It's the best in spending 20 fucking years.

I think some of those fit bits can do that shit now. Can they do that? Do they measure oxygen levels? So this is some of those really advanced wearable devices. Can measure oxygen levels too now.

I think. But this is that real. Or is it? Yeah. Yeah.

They all do. They all do. That's part of the deal. They measure your heart rate. Heart rate variable.

Like those wearables with the wrist. Yeah.

So I'll tell you what I got in my mind.

I got a. The fucking the mornings. It tells you. Where are we? Yeah.

It does that. Yeah. It does. It has respiratory rate. I got to get back on the loop.

It's got. I used to use it all the time. But they've got. They've got an even better. Yeah.

They can do this one is a lot better. My heart rate is good today.

“My oxygen is 91 because I'm here with you.”

And my skin temperature is minus one. So it takes all that shit. Yeah. My problem with wearables is all these tattoos. So like this.

Okay. It's reading it now. This reads my heart rate. This is a garment. It reads my heart rate.

Something. Now it's not. Like it doesn't read through the tattoos very well. I have to like move it around. That's a fucking insane.

Yeah. That's fucking insane. Can't read through the tattoos. This is the inks in the way. It doesn't.

It's literally using some sort of a visual. It's like, it's light. Like if you look at the back of the watch, there's like a light back there. See? Yeah.

I have to say. That is flashing in your veins. And then it somehow or another gets information from that. Yeah. That's how it tells you.

Yeah. Yeah.

So the problem is all these tattoos.

I thought about like removing my tattoos just around the whole, the circle where the watch goes. Just like go get it lasered. I might do it. Because I don't see that anyway.

I always have a watch on. And so like now. That speaking about you know, burning your nerves. And all that shit and that thing. Mm-hmm.

I'm one year. I had a fun. I still got a fun guy told him. But I had the really bad fun guy told him. And I saw a thing in group on for a company in studio city.

That blowtorched it with heat for six sessions. They killed the fungus. Yeah. No. I never worked.

But I went anyway. The lady would put like a mask on. It was fucking. And she looked at my tongue. Like you would see a fucking.

And as she was burning it, you could smell the fungus. Burning. It smells like dead fucking assholes. And she would be there. And that would ask a question.

So she'd have to pull the mask. [laughter] Take a look at this fucking fun guy told him. Oh, there's times I buff it out myself now. Cause no, you'll buff it out for me.

Like I can't take it to a Chinese woman. They'll lose that mine. Can you put like anti fungus cream on it? I put everything on it. It's too deep.

This fungus runs deep. This is the fungus I brought back from Cuba. And it's fucking pops up from time to time. And I get under my tit. Like it's just the fungus just grows.

I don't know what I have to eat. Like some days I eat some. And it backfires. And I get all these fungus marks. I get all it.

She's shit. But this bitch burnt that toe for six weeks. And every week I would ask a more creepy question. And she would have to take that mask off. And smell that fungus dog.

It was horrible. She would walk out. She closed the door. Like I was like nope.

And the thing never worked.

She never burned me once. But she was serious with that blowtorch. And didn't work? No, it did not. And I told you the fungus is too deep.

“So to get rid of that, you have to do a liver test.”

To see how strong because the zapping is fucking hard on your body. And it's really hard on your liver. So my liver didn't cut it. So they can't zap me with that medication. Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's?

She couldn't talk anymore. They gave her five grams of psilocybin mushroom. And she's singing up right now. Also then she came back. It's unbelievable.

They said she hadn't talked in a long time. She could remember things. I know for a fact. I got a good buddy of mine that started. That was his childhood thing.

Every time he smoked crack, you should've seen that motherfucker. And that was strut. And he talks to you straight. Paul, you know Paul's damage.

The mushroom expert. He's been on the podcast many times. He's a legitimate psychologist. Like a scientist. He had a horrible stutter.

He was a kid. Took 10 grams. God. God. God.

It's unreal. People will still go mad. My shrimp is a deadly. They're going to kill you. Fuck you.

Isn't that crazy?

“You need to see a devil every once in a while.”

Yeah. And that's what people don't. They don't see the downside. Because eat those mushrooms in time to time. Make you step out like TAC does.

And make sure you look at yourself. And make like a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life. What you're doing with your life. You're chewing that fucking zin and talking of the same time. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. I don't know. Don't stay there. Yeah.

It's the real problem is that it's illegal. You know what they should do with that? You know what they did with Colorado with 39% tax? Make mushrooms 100%. TAC's at 100%.

We'll still buy people still bought. Make illegal tax at 100%. No much fucking money they would generate. And I guarantee you. Well, I was going to say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms.

What they definitely would. If you, but it'd be good for everybody.

Most people have put it in the grinder and then they put it in capsules. And they do it that way. All different things. That should not be hurt.

“Wait, do you tell me you were going to get that property?”

A couple years ago, which you didn't get. I thought you were going to go a mushrooms up there. I get somebody to set it up and Joe Rogan's mushrooms.

Well, I would never do that.

You're fucking recipe, like. No, that's not legal. I would not. It's not legal, and federally. That's the problem.

I mean, this is part of what Trump is trying to change with this psychedelic act. So all that shit was made illegal in 1970. It was the Nixon administration. The control substance is act. If that hadn't happened in 1970, we would be living in a better world.

Like legitimately, we would be living in a better world. You'd have way more people having access to this stuff. Way more people that could get over whatever the fuck their hurdle is. Whatever problem they have, whatever it is. Not for everybody.

There's a lot of people that shouldn't do it. There's a lot of people that just gets a frenic. And that they just need one mushroom trip and... One push. There's gone.

There's never coming back. There's a lot of people that are hanging on. They're hanging on. And one edible. One mushroom trip.

One one. One meeting with the devil.

And they never come back.

That's true. But those people were already fucked. That's the problem.

“But for the rest of us, for the rest of the world.”

Which is like most things. Like some people eat a Brazil nut. They're dead, right? Some people eat peanuts. And they're dead.

They have a deadly allergy to peanuts. You can even look up how many people die a year from pumpkin peanuts. It's quite a few. Come on. Yeah, it's quite a few.

It's kind of shocking. Some people's why. Well, here's the really crazy thing. A lot of people think it has to do with vaccines. They think this is Brett Weinstein's proposal.

Is that when you take that vaccine. So there's aluminum in the vaccine. That's an irritant, right? And this is what fires up your immune system. And then there's the dead virus.

So your body develops these. Look at that. Just for annually. Give me up people. Huh?

There's a lot of people. No. For people. For people. What about in the world?

How many people die about? It's four in the world. It's none of them die anywhere else. Food allergies in general response to about a hundred deaths. Yeah.

This is all made up why people shit. Well, there's a thing people know. They just avoid the peanuts. But there are people that if they get peanuts, they'll die. Brett Weinstein thinks it has to do with eating peanuts right after you've been vaccinated.

And that's something, I don't know. It's right. But something about your body reacting. These are the reason why your body creates this antibody to the deadvac. The deadvirus it's in the vaccine.

You know, if you give someone whatever it is. Any figure out whatever the disease is. You have a dead virus. And then you have this irritant. And so the two of them together, your body reacts to this aluminum.

And it used to be. What is the other shit they don't put in it? There was mercury, ethyl mercury and methyl mercury. The two different types of mercury that tried to do that in vaccines. But there's problems with that, too, obviously.

Mercury's toxic, so is aluminum. But he thinks that if you have aluminum from this vaccine and you're in contact with other things at the same time, you could develop an analogy for those things. Whether it's wheat, gluten, whether it's animals, whatever it is. It's possible he believes to develop an analogy when you get vaccinated.

And he thinks that's with the rise in vaccines and the rise in food allergies. He thinks those are connected. No, me actually. I don't know if he's right. If you went to your grandfather in Newark, he's an immigrant and came open.

And you told me you had a fever. I mean, times are you snacking the fucking face? Well, he wasn't a violent man. But let's still control it. Joe, what the fuck?

Be minutes. He would make fun of it. That's a good one. How was Lori to maple syrup? Well, the idea of being allergic to bread back then was

preposterous. First of all, he would get bread like every two days. They would go down to the local Italian bakery and buy Italian bread. It's the only bread everybody ate in the house. It's so funny.

Like, I didn't even appreciate it back then. Like, when I'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,

“I'd be like, why don't they give it to me on this bullshit thick bread?”

Because you got to cut the bread. You know, I'd be like, give me some fucking white bread like a real person. Well, some wonder bread. That's what I wanted. When you're a kid, you won't wonder bread.

I don't wonder bread. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a one. Like, I'd get whole wheat. I'd be like, what is this bullshit? I think it'd be in prison.

What is this terrible fucking shitty, brand-filled wheat? Well, all the fucking chunks of wheat that's in it. Fuck out of here with your whole wheat bread. I hated it.

Now, I love it. Now, it's the only, like, if I see regular white bread,

I'm like, look, I never made that shit.

That bread that your grandpa was getting. Yeah. Like, then New York, who blocks away? They were all school Italian people. They made everything in the '70s and '60s.

But I always shit that's it now. I remember the bags.

White bread. Yeah. And the bread.

I think it's a great one.

That's the one you dip it in the sauce. Oh, and the red sauce. You go fuck my crazy. So good.

“With butter, you put butter on that bread and you dip it in that”

pasta sauce. Holy shit. Gonna stop eating munch. Great. That's my favorite dish.

Mosses with spicy. Yeah, I mean, yeah, because you can eat a loaf of bread. I can't. My body can't fucking do that. No pressure with the red sauce.

Oh, you know, loaf of bread. Oh, I'll go through the whole lot. With the butter. Oh, yeah. The bread.

You eat all that shit. I said, I can't eat muscles. No, I love muscles. I go to Rudy's. I got some muscles there.

Big. Big. A chicken. A chicken. Looks like a six-foot woman's clip.

They're that fucking big. The muscles. You think I'm kidding you. These fucking clip, Mosses. When I go to other restaurants,

you get those little muscles. Then you get a couple of big ones. No, no, no, no. They give you nine big chick gorilla crazed fucking pussy clips. And they're huge.

And they put little sauce on it. So good. Oh, my God. Makes me go fucking. There was a time place that I used to go to.

Ty, L.A. Ty food. And they had Mosses and the big fucking spicy Mosses. They were huge. So good. Oh, not the type place.

Maybe he took me to the one next to the fucking 10 planet on the bread. Oh, yeah. I went in there with that one night. I already ate typhoon. I had to eat the clown.

I'll buy you a lunch. I'm broke. You don't like typhoon? I went in there. It was ants on the wall.

(laughing) I'm like, what the fuck? But I like the one that you took your shoes off. They had the best shrimp potte in the country. You took your shoes off.

Yeah, there's one on sunset right across the comic book store. Toy. Toy. Toy time. Yeah.

“Yeah, the best place ever was what's the place next to the laughing factory?”

Greenblast. Greenblast. Oh, that was a great job. Until I tell you this story, I mean, they were roughly male and day. And he gets a roast beef sandwich.

And he's eating the roast beef. And they could see the ants on his arm. And he opens it up. And his ants all of a sudden, he was listening to me. Call the waiter.

The waiter still charged him for half a sandwich. Yeah. That's hilarious. He was like, he's like, are you paying shit? This motherfucker.

I had some of that. I didn't even eat the other one. The ants were on his fucking arm. Joe. They weren't in the sandwich.

They were on the sandwich too. Oh, so it was just all over the place. They were all over the place. Greenblast. Greenblast.

Which I still eat that. I don't even think it's that. I don't even think it's that. I only ate there a few times, which is weird because it was right next door to the laugh factory. It was good, too.

I kind of stopped going to the laugh factory after a certain point. It was a certain point in like the 2000s where I'm like, I think I'm done with this place. And I was mostly at the store. Yeah. I like the laugh factory.

I was like at the store. I love the improv still.

I always did the improv still.

But the laugh factory, to me, was like, there was something about it. It was like sterile. There was something about it. It was not a bad thing. But it was like very much like a lot of people got TV deals out of the lives.

That was the big thing about the laugh factory. Yeah. You know, it was the store was the dream. You know, the laugh factory was nice and everything. But it was also like, remember Scott Day.

He would discourage. We tried discourage you from going to the laugh factory. It's like, you're a comedy store comic. You know what? Yeah.

I got to go up everywhere. I can't. I'm developing. I can't be just limiting myself to more people.

“But that's why you like I develop better at the store.”

Well, this thing about the store, too, you got three totally different environments. You got the belly room environment, which is like very intimate. Very small 70 people. And then you got the OR, which is the gritty. That's, that's the psychopaths at 11 30 on a fucking Tuesday night.

And then you got the main room, which is the big show. There was so much opera. I thought it would always hit the main room till last five years. I was there. I just couldn't get the formula for it.

But the original room, I knew it like everything. The original room, you're locked into a living room. You're locked into it. And yes, and then the play piano and the whole fucking thing. The main room was big, big stage, big crowd.

It was big ceiling. Everything was big. It was different. It was a different kind of a show. I remember the first time I showcased for Jamie.

It's like, man, what are you doing here? You belong in Las Vegas. Man in the show room. You know, LA comic. That's hilarious.

Jamie always had the craziest ideas for people.

But he, at the end, he was a really good guy. At the end of Jamie, he's really trying hard. Well, he loved comedy. Yeah, he loved comedy. All those people were very nice.

You know, I just went to Nashville for the comedy festival. I ended up doing the whole dance break. You know that theater there. What's the name of the theater? Randall Opera.

Randall Opera. Yeah. And it was great. But the great thing about that that everybody from the improv is still. Last night.

I saw people that were there for 25 years. And we just would drop in stories. Aaron, the guy Hartman. Hartman looks great. He's a big, bad, bad guy.

Big everything guy. It was a Nashville.

You know, when you get to see those guys and you're like, wow, we've been in this shit together.

“And like, I told Aaron, I met Aaron and Irvine.”

Then she came to Hollywood. And I was like, psych. She gave us an 11 o'clock show. And she was pregnant. She was hot.

She used to wear the farmer. Those things. The overalls. The overalls. Oh, she was so hot.

I still tell him when I talked to Aaron. You sexy savage.

I always fucking torment it.

But it was really nice to see them. And Hartman told the story when I told him I was going to bang his head. Off the wall. You know, just laziness that look at us now. We're all in there having a great time.

20 years ago, we were always at war with one of you guys. We cursed too much. You know, we're talking about what I got fired with Pablo. Yeah. And then he found out I wasn't doing coke.

And he felt really bad. You know, so it was just great to see what we've been through together. And now I have to everything you like. Fuck. I was there to fucking make Joel start it.

That was Miami. That was Miami. That was Miami. That was Miami. 98.

Yeah. New Year's of 99. That's crazy. And Madonna came in with Chris fucking rock. Wow.

And to watch somebody New Year's Eve. I forget who the fucking was. But yeah. You look at those people. You're like, we took the right with kids.

We were fucking kids to go.

“And also, you have to think, like, imagine having to employ you.”

Imagine being a businessman. And you got to employ you in 98. God bless him. Not good. God bless him.

Don't remember the improv. Really like me. And I fucked them over. Like 2000. Who's the guy?

The original guy. A coconut grove. The guy I liked the party. I forget his name now. Rich Jeff.

Give me a minute. Give me a minute. The original guy. Yeah, crazy. It was fun.

Crazy. Really fun. He's from Cleveland. He lived in Cleveland. Like the party.

And his wife hit the lottery for a million of them.

People didn't realize how nutty coconut grove was. That was the nutty of Sam Prove. That improv. We would go out afterwards and have Cuban coffee. And he Cuban sandwiches.

I left two o'clock in the morning. We were supposed to have a new stain. Good new stand. Yeah. Five minutes close for now.

Close stories. Yeah. And you could drink 'til all night. Oh yeah. So they close from five to six.

Whatever booze you out on the table. You could keep. So you would take me like eight beers. And then they would open up again at six and you're right there. Hey.

It goes for one hour. Can five in the morning.

“I remember one night you were on Conan O'Brien.”

This is 97. Right? No. You did somebody's late show. Okay.

It was the week that our friend got shot. Oh, the apartment. apartment then. You can't believe it. I'm just telling you that I don't know shit.

Look up to date. When you were on that show. Like you with me all weekend. And I stayed. And then you went to New York to shoot that.

And then that weekend. You know. But I never forget. I was involved in the threesome. When you were on that talk show.

And I'm. It's a chubby chick. And then hot chicken was snorting coke. I'm trying to eat it. I'm looking at you.

I go pull on. Put on NBC. So I go watch a show. And I'm watching you as I'm trying to tackle these two animals. I'm like.

Who the fuck are they going to believe this? The chubby chick got up. She's like, you didn't want to be with me anyway.

You always wanted the hot chicken slam the door.

It was a full night. He was a full night. Come on. Cocaine. Come on.

But all that shit. You see these people now. You're like, bro, we all went through it together. Yeah. We all went through it together.

Want a great fucking thing to have at this time. And you'll like that. We all. Well, here. You know.

Fucking really nice man. It makes you. Go wow. This comedy life was worth every fucking penny. I got into it.

It's a fun ride when you look back. And you think like imagine when you're first starting out. Imagine that it would turn out this way. You never imagined it. And then you look back.

What a fun ride. What an extraordinarily fun life. I'll never forget. You had to pin down from the beginning. I've never even told you this.

One of my friends. I got that way. Like January 97. And that's something. Like August.

No. No. That's Cleveland Improv. I know. It's on the.

One of my Emmy, too. Oh, no. Was the manager? No worries, though. Thank you, though.

What do we talk about? Something pin down manager. What a fucking house. We were talking about. Oh, never imagining.

Did he looking back on this life? Like when you first started. Oh, never imagined. Turn out this way. You said some about me once.

That was right. I was on the podcast.

You know what?

“I remember when that guy first came on the scene.”

He was scary. He had a little extra acting and all this shit and he was buck wild. You know, I just got to tell him. I do a couple spots. The guy is at my first town coordinate at the improv set to me.

Hey, would you like to work? Irvine. And I go, yeah, he goes. I got to them see spot. Go do it next week.

My first time. I go down. And I had a crazy girlfriend. And then with all the teeth. Oh, yeah.

And this more the fucking head chef comes up to me. And her and he goes, hey. She's got the same mouth as Gina Davis. The nice cocksucker mouth. That was my first week.

I never. And I first, I took it kind of weird. And after the show, I went up to him and I go, hey, man. What a fuck do you think you are. Say something like that.

What are you doing?

If you go at me, you'll never work.

And improv again. I just kicked them in the fucking stomach as hard as I could. They called me the next day to go. He come on man. I kicked them.

They got a father part. All of a sudden he wasn't a tough guy. I don't know. I was just so pissed.

“How can you say that to somebody's fucking girlfriend to a face?”

I just fucking front kick them. And I had them somewhere in the stomach. He was holding on. I'm calling an arman. Call fuck an arman.

I don't give a fuck. I'm going to get in the car. I'm going to enjoy. You can't let the old joy get in the way, man. This is not good.

You should have just walked away. But no. Why would I walk away? Fuck that shit. That was the problem.

A lot of people would walk away from that shit. And you just lost. He just became a hollywood asshole. When you say fuck you with no respect. You fucking more.

You're late. And they did. They ended up giving me more work. Was that guy still there when you went back? No.

He was like a cute cook. The thought he was cute. Like a horrid scary. He wasn't going to get smacked. I don't give a fuck who you are.

I fucking kicked that motherfucker. I didn't give a fuck Jack. I was so buck wild at the store in the beginning. When I hit the kid in the head with a microphone. And then he came and got me in La Jolla.

And I took the pool, cut the pool. Remember they had that pool table in La Jolla. They had a bumper pool table in La Jolla. So these guys kept threatening. They were going to come and get me.

So I got. I became fucking Chuck Norris and call the silence. I took all the pool balls. And I put them in different places. So I had to throw them at them as a weapon.

And I hit all the fucking pool cues. You're going to see call this silence. That's since the guy stole it from him. And that fucking Bobby Lupa movie. But that was Chuck Norris.

And he was full of bag with. We'll pull cues and hit you in the head with it. And the pool hall with the Columbians. Doug and that motherfucker. I saw them.

I was sitting outside the comedy, the La Jolla storm. And I had that little bench facing the Chinese restaurant. You don't remember La Jolla anymore. And I saw them at the light. And they made the turn.

And I took one of those balls. And I kept it right here. And they pulled up and took water pistols out. And I fucking took that ball. And threw whatever they had.

And hit that car. And all of a sudden the fucking car went. Boom. These motherfuckers took off Jack. Code of silence.

I remember this.

Because this was like the first like real movie movie that like got respected by.

It wasn't just a karate movie. It was a movie that was about like an undercover cock movie, right? Yeah. I guess the Colombian. But it was the fighting part was just part of it.

But this wasn't that it was, you know, it was just a karate movie. Like most of us other movies were just karate movies. Or, you know, there were kind of campy like missing an action. It was a lot of it based on the karate. This was, oh, we got it.

Hit by the pool ball. Oh, they jump them. Is it a terrible movie? This is terrible. I thought men.

It was the ship back then. Don't. But so when you watch it now, you're like, This is the cornyest fight seat of all time. These guys would overwhelm them.

Listen, man. Uh. Good women were black. Chuck Norris had a couple movies where he showed his shit. This was not one of them.

Walker Sheriff Marsha was not one of them. Okay. With the wig, doing push-up still on Channel 89. That wasn't him. I love Chuck Norris.

But Chuck Norris made some good movies early on that were dark.

“That's why nobody talked about good women black.”

What's the other one? The app again. Oh, yeah. You forget about all. Oh, yeah.

Is this good men? Good guys were black. Nineteen 78. Wow. How many fucking people did this guy get in the martial arts?

Like, how many people? Because of Chuck Norris movies wind up doing martial arts. Oh, fucking shit load. I got into tanks who don't because of him. Because he was one of the first tanks with old guys.

And he split. He made his old thing or whatever the fuck.

It's kind of amazing when you think about how many karate guys didn't make it.

Like, how many guys didn't become karate movie stars? And Chuck Norris did. Like, how many of them were there? How many karate guys wanted to be movie stars and couldn't figure it out? And he did.

Gosh, so every martial art film made in the 70s.

Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, and the other really good black look at him.

Jim Kelly.

“Charlie was trying to break into that thing.”

There was a lot of noise movies. And then after Bruce Lee died, the whole thing opened up. Yeah, jet lie, jet loose fly. Bruce fly. You had all these fucking bruises.

And that was the end of it. But I was notorious. I wanted to see all those fucking movies growing up. Billy Jack. You don't remember Billy Jack.

Oh, yeah, I remember. I remember the black hat. I remember the whole day. I'm going to put this foot on that side. It's the face of all that shit.

He didn't even have a white Mormon dude. Be it martial, everybody. Everybody play fucking kung fu. Everybody. And that movie called the silence is Dennis Perrinus.

One of his first movies. He's just, yeah, he's just psychic in that movie. Fucking. He just, you know, people forget how many kung fu movies are. Marshall, I based movies to actually made in the 70s.

Fucking unreal. Oh, yeah. It was getting sent here from China. It's like a kid porn. They were just sending it every weekend.

Fucking Chinese people beat up on Chinese people jumping.

“Remember the more they got old, the like by 70s.”

Bruce died in 73 by 76. There was movies that the guy had like a thing at gold. It weighed like 10, two tons. And he would throw up a hill and then jump and catch it on top of the hill. Come on.

Now you're lost. The one arm swordsman. You lost me. You know, the guy's got one arm. You know, he does love those kung fu movies.

But they were completely ridiculous. And forget about black people. Like, you know, when people talk about Bruce Lee, it was a sensational cultural fucking phenomenon when he had. And the people that think about all the people he opened up to Marshall and movies.

Marshall, I think general. Oh, yeah.

Chuck Norris was the second half of it.

You know, Bruce was the first Chuck Norris was the second. And I hate to admit it. You have seized a third big wave of that. Yeah. You know, nobody goes to karate normal.

Okay. How many karate schools you got? It's the kids 10. They make them hit a paper. You know, they're going to the gypsies schools.

Yeah. They go on at all. They're made schools. Yeah. It's changed.

The culture has changed. You know, in 73, everybody went to a wing chunk. Yeah. You taught judo. You became a wing chunk dude now.

Because you weren't going to get make no money out of judo. Nobody was doing judo back then. You had to go to Brooklyn to get subat classes. Number subat. The French.

Yeah. You had to go to Brooklyn. In those days, New York had everything. But then when like our friend, the one who does the MMA podcast with you, Matt Sarah. Matt Sarah got into judo.

He would have to go from Long Island all the way to like close to Philadelphia. It'd be three hours on Sundays. The judo wasn't everywhere yet. When he got into it, he would have to travel. I think he told the story.

One of these podcasts. He would have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays. They just did judo on Sundays because that's all I was available. Now, you got to judo to school at every fucking corner. Who's that?

That's because of UFC, Matt. It just blew it to fuck right up. So who knows? I may be wrong. No, I think you're right.

For sure, the UFC opened up Brazil in judo. Voice Gracie. Voice Gracie went in the first UFC's. That opened up Brazil in judo all over the country. What the fuck is this?

It was a completely, I mean, there was no Brazilian judo in America.

You never even talked about it.

I did martial arts in my whole life. I've never even heard of it. You heard of it. But I don't even know. It was so far off.

I barely even paid attention to it. It was like, you could have been anything. And then all of a sudden, the UFC came along and was like, oh, my God. That's the thing that everybody needs to learn. That's what's wild now.

It's like how many people trained martial arts in comparison to like 50 years ago. It's not, there's no comparison. There's way more people than know how to fight now than like ever before. And ever before. At least they know how to neutralize somebody.

Well, a lot of people are training now. Wait, what's your guess? Don't wait more people to neutralize people. When everybody was studying judo, they ain't got a bullet. Believe you.

Okay. They're going to neutralize on the street. I'm going to break your fucking shoulders on the street. They're trying to neutralize you. Hold your down, hey.

Take a breath. Relax. Don't swing at me because I'll break this fucking arm. Did I see the video Matt Sarah? I think it was in Atlantic City.

And might have been Vegas. Somewhere in a casino. Some drunk guy has caused problems. And Matt winds up taking him down and mounting them until the cops come. He's just holding out to the guy.

He's just sitting on the guy. Hold out there. It is. The guy's swinging. Look at Matt.

Like you've got a literal Brazilian judo world champion. And he's just mounting you laughing. Like you think about picking on the wrong guy. He's just all done. I mean, the guy's completely helpless.

“I don't remember the whole story behind this.”

Like it was a security guy coming.

I got this guy.

You and I both know Matt could name.

“Kick him in the face and get up and leave.”

He could literally. This is what I'm telling you. Did you do that atmosphere? It doesn't teach you to do that. It's just holding you down.

Go away. But he's not going to prove. No. Catch your breath. He's laughing.

He's a world champion. I mean, I don't know if he had been the UFC champion by that time. What are you going to do? Come over somebody on the street and break that show with them now. You have to live.

You're going to go to jail. You're going to go to jail. You lose everything. I know judo people take it down. Like their bounces.

Yeah. Did you just neutralize him? It was the night before his Hall of Fame induction. Yeah. Okay.

So that's way past the time that he won the title. Yeah. That's hilarious. That's that's very funny. That poor guy.

Imagine like knowing that guy could have killed you. And he was just so nice. All he did was hold your wrists and sit on your chest. Look at him. He was on the boat having a good time.

He was like, hey, something to get me a water or something. He's the guy's literally helpless. He has no fear whatsoever that guy hurting him. You know, it's like a child. It's like your little child's having a temper tantrum.

Come on. It's Matt Terra. It's funny. There's so many dummies out there. This is part of the problem in this world.

It's hard to get your shit together. So many people just stumbled through life.

Just never getting their shit together.

Some of my friend last night. She has like a cooking show on YouTube. She doesn't have to stop doing it, Joey. Because my mother would watch. And these people would say, like, the weird is like, you know, everything show me a touch. Show me a pussy. You can't cook bitch.

“And you're like, you know, how much longer am I going to take this shit for?”

People are so horrible. They're fucking horrible on the internet. You know, these are young girls looking good. Like, Joey, I had a cancel of fucking thing. She was doing like a workout, a cooking thing.

She goes, now I just play with my cats. That's it. And people love cats. Because that's it. But it's impossible. There's so many animals out there.

And they're out there and they don't give a fuck. And they say shit. It's also the zero consequences for saying horrible shit. And they're trying to get a rise out of the other people in the comments too. So they're trying to say outrageous shit.

So that other people react to it. So that you'll read it. You'll react to it. You know, it's the dumbest fucking thing ever. It is. I was thinking this last night.

It's a kind of crazy thought. But, you know, everyone is addicted right now to social media and addicted to going online. And just addicted to content. You're constantly getting content. You're constantly interacting with your phone.

And this is a very new thing, right? It's within the last 20 years. This has happened to people. This is like prepping us for what's coming next. We're going to look back on these days.

And we're going to realize, oh, the addictions to the phones. Addictions to staring at the screens and checking your email. And looking at YouTube and looking at Instagram and looking at Twitter. That's just preparing you for you being completely connected to electronics forever. This is like the early stages of it.

I was thinking about it last night. While I was watching this television show. I'm watching this crazy show. It's called From. Have you seen this show?

Oh, no. It's nuts. By the guys who made lost. One of the dudes that's in lost is the main star of it. It's fucking great show.

Like really good show. Like very unpredictable twisted. Just like loss. Like crazy show. About these people stuck in this town.

They can't get out. It's impossible to get out. But I was thinking while I was watching. So I was like, why is everyone? Because no one has a phone there.

And everyone's just locked into this place.

“The addiction to our phones are preparing us to the next stage of what life is going to be like as a person.”

This is just the gate. The phones are the gate. But what's coming next? You're going to reminisce about the days of the phone. Oh, you remember when we had phones.

We had to look things up. You had a little thing. You got to charge it. When you had to charge it. That's how we're going to be.

We're moving into some weird new area. They're building these fucking data centers everywhere. And everyone's like, oh, what's the data center? What's great? Like, what is that?

What are you doing? Why are you building these things that need to be powered by nuclear reactors? Why are you building these things that are sucking up all the fucking water? Why are they putting these things out in the middle of the desert? Biggest fucking five football fields.

Huge fucking giant buildings filled with computers. Like, what the fuck are we doing? And the gates is this goddamn phone. This phone is the gate. We're opening up the door.

Who's killing kids? No, I'm gonna tell you why. My door to them? Can't watch a whole movie. They have no attention span.

Good. 40 minute things. He has to leave. And then she'll start it from the next day. I had to watch Garface on him.

You had her watch Garface? Yes, because we watched. We do experimentals at the house. We did the fight club. We do all that shit.

So she said that.

I always only watched the apartment.

He shoots the brother-in-law. You know, that's the only part of it. It's always on.

I go, I want to watch from the beginning. She enjoyed it for a little while. I want to upstairs. After one scene, I'm American, watch this again. She goes, I'll stay up.

Two days later, mother goes. Did you see the review? She wrote on it. And I don't know. She goes, take a look at it.

And she's like, I enjoyed the movie. I was a fan because it was Cuban American. But then as the movie rolled on, I figured. These Cubans don't know how to treat women. She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, but she's just Christ.

They're so mean to their women. I'm like, do I act like that you don't know? But that's okay. Okay. And she said she goes, that gay man a different fucking thing.

I go, mercy. I was 40 fucking years ago. Not only that. You're dealing with a woman. I don't know.

“I think that's why I act like that you don't know.”

But that's okay. Okay. Yes. And she said she goes, that gay man a different fucking thing. I go, mercy.

I was 40 fucking years ago. You're dealing with the people that were the criminals of Cuba that were kicked out of Cuba that made their way to America. Like, this is not normal people. No, no.

And now they're about to let the second half out.

What are they doing to Cuba right now? They're not surviving. They don't have any tolerance. No gasoline. It's funny.

Because every couple days I get an algorithm, which is promoting Cuban videos. People in Cuba that had kids going to work out. Ciao. They took them to like this little place.

Everything had papers on it. They did pull-ups. Sit-ups with the head. The pipes were broken. You got to see these fucking kids.

Doing full workouts. We wouldn't even look at that bodyweight workouts. They talking. They go around by red arrow and the interview people. And I don't know what this is doing.

I don't know what this is doing. Because we're two years away from Cuba being legit. They're going to go back down there. After this whole thing goes or all whatever. Whatever they decide they can't get fuel from Venezuela.

How am I going to take? I mean, they're not going to be happy today. I have a Starbucks in Cuba.

“So what happened was they were getting their oil from Venezuela, right?”

We took over Venezuela. We cut off their oil. Cut them all. And so what is the United States trying to do with Cuba right now? They're trying to get rid of the communist government?

They're trying to, well, they're going to charge our oil Castro, which something recently. That's the beginning. This is going to happen. This is going to happen.

You're going to wake up one day and on ABC news, get they are in Cuba, pulling people out. Doesn't China and Russia have a relationship with Cuba? Is that a problem? Not really because they're not paying that bills. That's why Cuba started.

When they had Russia, Russia was fucking doing everything. But then they need them, no more. They cut them all. I think they do small trades for sugars. It is kind of crazy for the United States to have.

An enemy that's 90 minutes offshore and a boat. Trump administration said on 2026, May 20th, and died at former Cuban president, Raul Castro for murder. Based on the downing of two planes near the Cuban coastline in 1996, it killed four people.

As a historian of Latin American and US foreign policy,

“I believe the indictment may be the prelude to a direct US mental arrest against Cuba.”

This is the beginning. This is a colony young from UMass Amherst before Castro, the last US indictment of a Latin American leader occurred. In January of 26th, that's the Venezuelan thing. Since January, US has ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba

and has economic and military pressure to prevent other nations retreating with the island. Trump recently threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba. I believe what's missing from most recent analysis of this situation is the history of US aggression against Cuba.

It's essential context for understanding the Trump administration's recent escalations.

Once they indict you, they're coming for you. Just a matter of time. They're just starving the country. We won't come up with a solution. Here's your solution.

The shooting. But I'm telling you, there's a shooting of two in Cuba every night. Cuba is not getting. There's no power. There's no electricity.

They have roaring. So they just fucked them. They didn't want everything they can. They didn't want anything. So everything is looking like right now that's it.

They can survive this. Fuck. So what happens to those people? They just wait this out or the United States. We have to think it no resources, no supplies.

You got two things in Cuba. You have people that don't know.

You never watch that 30 for 30 without duke when they won the championship.

And they said people in New York were throwing a toilet paper. And the wife was grabbing it saying in Cuba, this is gold. Why are you throwing away toilet paper? We have no toilet paper in Cuba. That's some mentality.

So 50% of those people have been brainwashed. To the where they, you know, every day there's a bullhorn.

Yeah, comrades, we're winning the war, we're getting close.

You know, what do you mean I'm getting closer? I'm down on 118. I was walking on 117. Yeah. Are we getting closer to a victory?

So they're getting sick of that shit. They say the bugs that land on you at night are fucking just. Atrocious. But, you know, they have real fucking bugs on that island. Not to mention, they all have syphilis.

Cubans have syphilis. I didn't have my bungalow tunnel. It's syphilis because it smells like it. You don't say it, but on the fucking night joke, he then. Cuba's got two weeks left.

Two weeks from today. And so you think they're going to invade?

“Yeah, they're going to invade, take mature, take roll out and then what do you got?”

You're going to install some new. And remember, a couple months ago, there was a shooting in Cuba. I have a boat. You remember that, right? Right, Jamie?

Some people out there fishing and the Cuban navy shot them. What? Like three months ago. Oh, yeah. This is why they shoot.

I don't know. They were investigating it. Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and tell them prepare for invasion. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.

That's June 7. Yes, Sunday. Sunday. Oh, yeah. With two weeks later.

They're distributing weapons to citizens in fear of a US invasion. They reportedly started handing out weapons to civilians as the government urges the population of prepare for a potential US invasion reports from South American publication. Version final stated against the backdrop of the deployment of American military power near the island. The government of Havana began distributing weapons to citizens officially urging them to prepare for an imminent foreign invasion.

What if the citizens use that weapon to take over the country? Which they should do? That's what they fucking should do. Just call the fucking prison risk. Let's start handing out guns to people.

Like I said, man. Also, in your population's armed and you're telling them what to do. And they don't have any money and you don't have any money either. Look, man. When I shot it to an okay, I contacted my sister.

I offered her a free ticket out of Cuba. Money. What if I got to happen as yours? You're my blood, you know? Right.

I don't know if I can do it. Okay. Why don't we do this? We don't let fly into Jersey. You go to your mother's grave.

You go see where a house was. Her way of life. And then I take you back.

She told me I can never do that.

Because I'm married to one of the girls, guys. I don't even want to go to the United States. Oh, Jesus. So she was so brave. And I have that to that.

She was still my sister. But I couldn't help her. Well, you used to what you used to. Yeah. And that's a big chance of coming to America.

And it's not knowing where you're going to eat.

“Are you going to live and where you're going to get money?”

Are you going to work? They got progress while those people. They got churches. Cuban people have churches. They're Catholics.

Is there also a thing where you if you leave Cuba? I think there's it's a cleaner path to get to becoming a United States citizen. Right. You're fleeing. Yes.

It's easier. I think so. Yeah. Some like that. If you're fleeing.

If you're fleeing. If you're communally. If you're a dictatorship. But what are they going to do about that? And then you got to we're talking about Vegas.

So it's going to happen Vegas if Cuba reopens. What do you mean? They're going to put gambling back there. You know the Americans are going to put gambling back there. They're in the grocery business already with Habers already.

It's going to turn into a resort. A location. They're not going to rip down the architecture. They don't have original architectures. It'll make Cuba and the cars and shit.

But also some else. And I know America knows this. Those oceans of booby trash. Up to a mile out of Cuba. There's a ton of shit that they have.

Booby trash. Mine's all that shit. They planted those during the Bay of Pigs invasion. Look at this. You've got a 1957.

1957. Back when the mob ran it. Look at everybody dressed impeccably. They would go there with people. Plops.

They don't nothing. They loved it back then. They loved going to Cuba. People would go there. They'd go there and live it up.

And sex was free and cheap. And you could fuck a chicken those days.

You'd get fucked in the ass by a guy with a bit of amazing dog.

It was unreal.

“That's why the whole point of Kennedy and all that was for them to get Cuba back.”

The Italians. They were making too much money out of Cuba. And now they're going to start to put drugs on there and shit. Toys when they took it down. Cuba's been fucking riddled with bullshit for years.

Every bad luck that they have, they created in the '50s and '40s because it was a sex haven. Americans would go down there on a Friday and not come back. And you know, whatever costs here, $880 to get your dick sucked for three days. And the fed people rubbing your feet and shit. Castro Revolution had a major effects on Las Vegas.

Closure of Ivana Casino's spurred access to the desert.

Black me as well. Especially people in the, who? Frank Meas Fawler. What do you mean, Frank Meas Fawler? Frank Meas Fawler was a casino.

So that's how he ended up in Vegas. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Right. That's what you said.

“Frank Meas Fawler was a casino dealer in Cuba.”

And Cuba closed down. He went right to Vegas. So a lot of those people weren't right to Vegas. Wow. Really interesting shit.

That is interesting. It makes sense because that those are the two places. And if you're on the East Coast, the trip to Cuba is easy. With 30 minutes like going to Florida. 30 minutes.

It is what you and your wife would do on a weekend. How far is the flight from New York City to New York City to Florida? That's what an hour. Three. Three hours.

Yeah, because Trump is down there now. So they go a different way now. No. You don't go straight to Fort Lauderdale. Oh, my am.

You gotta go outside that range of people. What do you want us to be? Two. Two. Two.

Two hours. So New York City to Cuba is only an extra half hour. That's it. So like less than three hours. Three hours.

You'll be on the air.

So it's basically the same as Vegas then.

Yeah. It's the middle. The middle. But you have the, you're on island. It's a resort.

Nobody knows what's going on. It's beautiful. You know, I told you that my mother would tell me all those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba, especially when it comes in.

“They would go that's what they would subject to in a weekend.”

Oh, rock huts and that makes all those Hollywood people go to Cuba. Lock themselves in. There was no TMZ and there was no press. Right. You know, these people in Cuba don't have a new, you know, how they're going to get to pay.

And everything's run by the mob. Yeah. It's like just all sin and vice. Whenever you've got a minute, you run. You read that event and I've turned that book.

What is it called? It's a van. It's a van. I've turned it's a revolution from three different places. Union City and New Jersey.

New York City and Miami. And how or no, no, that might New York City Tampa. And how those three cities. We're like involved in that whole. What are these things going to happen to Cuba?

If you had a guess. If I had a guess. Come on. I'm already seen dollars on it. If you're a casino right now with how bad casinos are doing here.

You're looking at that right there. You're looking at an octurn. How the mob owned how the mob owned Cuba and then lost it to the revolution. Yeah. Excellent book.

Excellent. And so that was Kennedy trying to get rid of the mob. That's why they went to the mob. Look. Kennedy's father went to Chicago and he talked to those people.

They had the pool. If you live in Chicago or where else? You win the primary. I don't know how it works. I'm not a political guy.

Well, they definitely helped Kennedy get into the office. But then when he got into office. He didn't get fed up. And the brother double time them. And then they started shooting.

Right. I don't know who shot Kennedy's. I'm just saying this. Well, the mob definitely didn't like them. They were very upset.

They cut into that pocket. And he helped the mob help them get into office in the first place. Right. And then once he got in, they started prosecuting people. And like, hey.

Let me fuck them with the, the baypakes when he pulled off air support. Absolutely. He didn't know that they were going to do this. And then when they told him about it, he denied air support.

And air support was critical to the success of the mission.

Absolutely.

“And Operation Mongoose, Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret government project”

to topple the Cuban Communist regime, working parallel to the CIA's mob assisted efforts. But this is after the revolution. Right. This was when Fidel was running Cuba. Right.

Right. They were trying. And they didn't do the kill fucking Fidel. They were doing everything. This is after.

So what spurred the Cuban takeover of, of the, the military's taken over of Cuba. My boss is like Sam Gene Conna and Santo Traficante recruited to help eliminate Castro using methods like poison pills. mafia wanted Castro guns. They could reopen their multi-million dollar Cuban operations.

Wow. I thought it was money. Wow. Big money. I'm crazy.

I'm crazy. Untraceable. Nothing. Nothing. And you're over there living the life.

Nobody knows. They're all asking. You're talking Cuban food every day. They probably had it all set up. It was nice.

And then the Russian food every day. Fucking mile and so. What did the people think? The people think that these mob motherfuckers, they're taking over our country.

Let's let Castro come in and we'll be socialist and everything will be great. Or did they just get taken over? They got taken. What happened was Castro went in there. But Tester was horrible.

But Tester was fucking no better than Castro. So when Castro took over, it was to take over. But Tester and make Cuba pop up a problem. And the conglomeration he became a communist somewhere along the line. And then when he took over Cuba,

You know. And then the Italians got mad. They all came back.

“And then they thought it was going to be temporary.”

That this is going to be temporary. We'll clean over this. So for years, the Italian would just watch and remove. Waiting for somebody to kill fucking Castro. It was the Italians.

And then when they thought that the United States was going to go in there and invade. Like, oh, good. We're all set. I wish there was more film from those days. So people could see like my mother explained things to me.

I wish she was still alive because I got mad. Like she said, the Italian food was different in Cuba.

She goes first for all the pizzas had lobster on them.

And shrimp already back then in the 50s. They're making a suit because she didn't like the pizza in the United States. Because it's not the same. They put fresh shrimp from the fucking ocean lobster. Fucking all these other things.

They got these pies now in New York. I'm scared to try them. I can't. They put calamari on the pizza. How fat can you get?

How fucking fat do you want to be?

“You go to these pizza places and Jersey dog.”

It's like, Zidi. A pound of Zidi on a slice of pizza. This pizza place is in Jersey that are just going off. And the sandwich place is in Jersey. Oh, your boy.

Your boy is going off. Not like this. Oh, Giovanni. But that's that's why planes. That's that's phenomenal.

It's not like Italian delis on the East Coast. There's nothing like that. That smell like that cheese that you walk in and the fucking anologian shit. Oh, it's insane. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. There's too much pizza. Like just too much. You know what's funny? When I moved down like I'm scared again.

The pizza. How you won't slice a week? Maybe. Maybe. Since I had the knee surgery, I've been doing the podcast at the house.

So I've been ordering pizza from this one place and my buddies go crazy. That's the best pizza we've ever had. Thin sweet red sauce. Extra cheese. You burn it.

It's fucking thin. Oh, my God. The sweet red sauce. God. They know how to make pizza on the East Coast.

And they try out here. They do a pretty good job out here. It's missing something. It's missing something. It's missing something. There's some good Italian sandwiches out here. They're pretty good, but they can't fuck with like Giovanni's place Pogee of only sent me two shipments that were he's the best. I give half of it a way. I'm like you know me. It's been so much fucking so long I mean

All the cheeses incredible and the cookies is fucking cookies fuck you up in those I feel bro. Yeah, you know, and that's everywhere like I just thought

Fucking around like but when I go to these cause I've got to take you to this place Which place you took me to El Nido that was phenomenal. I'll need all now is co-host take house What about this take house now? Yeah, is it great? They fucked me up a couple of weeks I want to now five tonight. I've been there three weeks in a row with big party and then my wife once another friend Once I go in there when they're five to nine like when we get a 14 out of sort of fucking beer and they're like we're closed

They nobody in here. You can't make another steak now we're closed. I'm even nine No reason to go back That's a bummer. You just that's people want to go home. Yeah. I don't give a fuck It's a steak. You guys are there's nobody in here. The bar is cuten there Nobody's ever in there. They got a male bartender. They got a blonde big tits

The fuck up. You got a little Spanish guy. That's a great guy But yeah, but I got to this place now. They had on the special three weeks to go You're ready Stop shelf

“We're lost to meet and it's a cotton sign. I think it gives you five when I'm in a tray”

Oh show What's this place called? Austria Where's it at? Marborough. This is my spot. Yeah, I go there because the do to do whatever I ask them to do like here. He has a menu But then he'll go joy have you tasted my Italian fried rice

Like what are you talking about Italian fried rice and he makes risotto with lobster and shrimp of fried rice? So he's gonna add he's got a new restaurant opening. So he lets me sample everything He makes a cheese steak to die for without bread with the seeds on it. Oh, yeah Don't go semolina bread My God, Austria. There it is. Oh, that looks good

Yeah, there's nothing like East cause the time food Not to even compares No Steve and Angela went there bro. Get a fuck around. All right. Let's wrap this bitch up

Bro, thank you for having me. My pleasure. I love you every time first day. I'm gonna remember all right all right

But I'm a lanic city seventh and eight that oceans casino white people casino July 7th and 8th no August 7th and 8th okay Chicago got announced move on the fifth. Ah, what's the website for people go to find out

All right, we'll go find you. They'll find you so one more time. Where's the casino?

“Ocean's casino and Atlantic City New Jersey the seventh and eight tremendous beautiful all right think the government is coming”

The governor yeah, I mean like you Cheryl. I don't even like it, but I do like like you Cheryl I do like Mikey Cheryl because she's a democrat. You're not supposed to like him

“But it was funny. I went to a restaurant some guys like a man”

Life would have been so much better with jack children. I go I know but he lost by 400,000 fucking boats

He tried to over-public it in Jersey. That's never gonna fucking work. They've been doing my crats

Jesus showed up so

“400,000 boats bro. That's a lot. I'd be in my house with the windows fucking like sunny black and”

Donnie Brasco with the windows the shade drawn for a year

400,000 fucks up guys. I did with Joe Piston. Yes, very good. He was very good on his amazing

He's a good dude. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. What a crazy life The real Donnie Brasco. I mean really fucking lived like that and he infiltrated the banana. Oh, yeah

Deep they never recover. Yeah, they even wanted it after he fucking came out and they found out he was a cop

You were better than me. That's like one of the guys said that to him. Hey, you you want your beeping Not all right. I love your brother. I love you. Thank you very much. We're gonna have fun tonight. Have fun everybody