Easier Summer Chores for Families

is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more

“done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting”

and unsustainable. So here, we do things differently. On this show, we value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses. Being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't and I am so glad you're here. Today is episode 471, easier summer chores for families. Today is June 1st, and if you have kids, you've already started your summer at home with them

or you're very close. And when kids are home all the time, the house gets dirtier, patience gets shorter, and the pressure to make every day count mounts. We feel the same pressure for our kids to make good use of their time as we do with our own, and chores are a big part of that. So today we're going to talk about how to create easier summer chores for families and a

very lazy genius way. The first part of the episode will be about you and how you think as a parent

of these kids. And then the second part will be like one big practical idea of how to get chores done in your house without you and your kids hating the chores or each other. After that we'll have a little extra something where I share some thoughts on summer in a working parent household, some of you have summers that are not reflected in some of our content or in other places too, like if you work in an office full-time as does your partner, if you're in a two parent household,

and you're managing like camps, babysitters, and grandparents, and like normal life logistics in a unique season, summer is not restful. It can be even more stressful. So we're going to take a couple

of minutes at the end to talk about that. And as always we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week,

which is actually like a dual situation, lazy genius says, and a mom and a kid getting ready for bed at night. And we'll close with a mini pep talk for when you're tired of answering questions. Before we get to all that, I am personally feeling that flutter of energy at the start of every summer. There are activities I want to do, projects I want to finish, plans I need to make,

“experiences I want to remember. Often when I feel that flutter of excitement, it is not long”

before it turns into like a frantic scurry. If I don't have a thoughtful tool to help me work through my plans and hopes and trips and celebrations, I keep it all in my head, and it's like fireworks in a tin can. It's like not, not helpful, it's not helpful situation. Now if you understand that feeling and you have not tried a playbook, I encourage you to check them out. So my team and I developed these playbooks to be helpful kind companions to your planning. And mine, like I use them every

single day every day, they're small, well design notebooks, that settle those fireworks in a can. They ask guiding questions, give you space to write down what matters, and practically it's just helpful to have like one place to process a trip or a party or a project, keeping you from like taking notes in different places or keeping a bunch of stuff in your head that will for sure get lost. We have topical playbooks for specific types of planning, things like projects, travel, and

celebrations. There's also a yearbook playbook which is so fun for taking stock of what fun and memorable things came from your year. Then there are seasonal playbooks that work three months at a

“time. They help you name what matters this season, figure out what you have to do and hope to do”

over the next few months. And then there's space to like work out how to do it, work out to do lists, whatever else you need to keep track out. Like lots of really great blank space for that. I just love these things. I use mine every day, plus if you buy all four seasons, spring summer fall winter, in a bundle, you get a discount. And in fact, you can choose any four playbooks and get them at a bundle price. So normally each playbook is $15 on its own. So if you got four,

that's $60. But when you buy all four seasons as a bundle, you automatically get $10 off. So it's $50. And now we have added that ability for any four playbooks you want. So you put four playbooks of any kind, even duplicates in your cart, and then you use the promo code bundle at checkout. And you get that 10 bucks off. You get the discount of price. It's so great. There is a also like a private Facebook group. We call it the playbook people. It is so fantastic.

personalize your playbooks and use them in a way that works for you. We also like to ask those

“people for ideas as we like develop new playbooks and improve the old ones. They're just really”

worth a bunch of smarties. They're so smart. So if you get a playbook, you also get access to that Facebook group. So you can check out all of that at the lazygeneyscollective.com/playbooks. All right. Before we get into easier summer chores for families, let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsors, which make this show free for you to listen to. But before we do, just your quick reminder about the podcast recap email that we send to every other Friday.

It's called latest lazy listens. And it summarizes the episode. Shears the lazy genus of the week,

any other segments we have on the show. And there's a little extra note for me to help encourage you through the weekend. So if you'd like to get that recap, head to the lazygeneyscollective.com/lissons. . Kaffee in your best form. With Cuba, we'll be back with Kaffee on Knofftrock zum genus moment. The new Cubawan capsule machine from Chiba, genies to feintenspitenskaffee from special equipment. Full Monday's Aromans, thank innovative press brutality and over 17-hour coffee for every

week. Aléba Premium Kaffee from Abnaud on 20-hour. And decay yet the Cuba capsule machine in Dina Chiba, Fiala, and of Chiba Day. All right, let's get into easier summer chores for families. So what I'm about to share with you, it actually works for chores in any season, not just summer. It also works for any person, not just kids or families. The pressure to keep up with chores is present for like a ton of folks at all times a year. But I do think that pressure goes up

a few notches when you're home with kids for the summer. There's also a lot of expectation to do it a certain way. So most of my examples today, it's definitely going to be geared in the direction of summer chores for a family, absolutely. But I also encourage you to listen to this episode through your own filter. Like if you struggle with chores in some way, I can almost guarantee you are going to walk away from this episode feeling calmer and inspired and with like one single

very practical thing you can do that's going to make a huge difference. So here's what we're

going to cover today. I'm going to share with you four things that I want you to keep in mind when dealing with kids and chores. And then I'm going to give you a six word framework for getting those chores done. It's too easy to get until like chore chart territory and build things way too big. And chores will only be more frustrating when you build a big old system to manage them, especially in a different season like summer. Not only are you having to like

manage the kids and their chores, you're also managing an enormous system that you built in like a laminating fervor. So put down a laminator and start with these four things. Number one,

“remember to empower not micromanage. Yeah, we're going to start with like a heavy hit or out of the”

gate. It is so easy to micromanage kids, so easy. You know how you like to do something and you want them to do it the same way. So you hover and direct and even take over if they don't get it right. Sometimes you don't even let them start because you know you're just going to end up doing it yourself. That was me for many years, many years. So kids are beginners and like any beginner, they're like terrible at doing something well out of the gate. I do not enjoy this. I do

not enjoy this energy. I do not enjoy their slowness, their mediocre, their constant questions. Hey mom, is this water the right temperature to wash the pan? Hey mom, when do I do I have to vacuum into the table when I vacuum? Hey mom, can I use this glass cleaner for the sink?

“Hey mom, hey mom, like heaven, give me all the strength. Now here's the thing. Why do my kids”

ask me stuff like that? Because I did not spend their early years empowering them to try. And I still sometimes micromanage what they do now. I'm not proud of it and I'm getting better. But it is so real you guys. I think it makes sense that you and I want to get chores done as quickly as possible, right? We have like too much other stuff to do, too much protein to eat every day,

left with family members, not just kids, partners too, who do not know how to clean a toilet

“without instruction or affirmation that they're doing it right. Because you have made cleaning”

a toilet such a big deal. I have had to spend the last few years undoing a lot of the damage. I unknowingly did early on because I lived by the mantra. It's just easier if I do it. And then the irony, the cruel irony, is that you end up doing more chores yourself because it's quote easier. But then you resent your family for leaving you to do everything. It's like a whole thing. Micro-managing is not empowering. Micro-managing does not inspire

any sort of confidence or creativity or fun. It just makes everybody annoyed. Your self-included. If you go into summer chores as a micro-manager, who baby? You will not last long.

Neither will your kids. They will dread every second because it's super not fun,

and it makes them feel bad about themselves. Like chores themselves are rarely fun anyway. But you're making the chores even more of a chore. By micro-managing, by being such a stickler. Empowerment is for everyone. It's for kids. It's for partners. It's for yourself. When people feel empowered to make decisions and to know it's OK to mess up, to do it wrong, to not do it to the standard that someone else would do it. When they know that that is OK,

your home and this summer season with lots of time together is going to feel a lot wider.

“It's going to feel easier and it's going to be easier to manage. You need to choose empowerment”

rather than micro-managing. I mentioned this in a recent episode about our personal summer plans,

but I hope to do a big deep clean of every kid's bedroom this summer. We did it last summer too. Last summer, I want to tell you a story about last summer. When I was time for Sam to do his room, I really did. I really did want to empower him. I personally did not want to deep clean his room. I wanted him to learn how to do it. Both things. He was resistant, of course, and overwhelmed, of course, especially to a kid with ADHD. It's just like too many steps. It's way too overwhelming.

I gave him a list of small steps to begin. Simple things to get his stuff out of the way,

“to clear out the things that don't matter, just general small steps in a specific order,”

so that he would not feel overwhelmed. I empowered him to do the job himself, and then I left. Our two later, I went to check on him. I don't think I can accurately describe how chaotic it was. There were piles everywhere. It's not even that they were piles. There was no discernible order to the collections of things. It was crazy. It was definitely not how I imagined his room to be at this juncture, but I also actively wanted to empower him. I was like, "Hey, bud, how's it going?"

I was like, "To witching on the inside?" It did not look like it was going great, but that's not for me to decide. It's not my room. He's sitting in the floor in the middle of all this stuff, and he had the sweetest, biggest grin on his face, and he was like, "I didn't follow any of your advice, but I'm doing great." I laughed at him and I laughed at him and I laughed now. It is just the funniest thing. I was like, "Awesome, a good job! Keep going!" And then I laughed. Now,

declining out his room, take three days instead of three hours? Uh-huh, it did. It sure did. But like, who cares? The time wasn't an issue, and he cleaned his room his own way, and he did it without me breathing down his neck about it. He was not efficient, but he was independent. This is a lesson for all of us. As you enter this summer of kids being around, wanting them to do chores, be a person who empowers them, not one who micromanages them. That posture, that like,

emotional choice, it will make a huge difference in how you treat them, how you organize the chores themselves, everything. Be somebody who empowers. That's number one. Number two, encourage don't criticize. This is definitely like closed to number one, but you can also

can operate independently. So as you move into summer chores for your family, I want you to be an

encourage or not a critic. Thank kids for doing what you asked them to do. Encourage them that they followed through, even if it's something expected of them. Like, I'm expected to feed everybody dinner. I've been doing it for 16 years. It is primarily my job and my family's whole division of

“labor to make dinner. And just because it's expected. Does it mean it's not nice when someone says thank you?”

It's good to show gratitude even for expected things. Just this morning, I got home from a doctor's appointment. I left Sam, I told us to get ready for school on his own. Like, I was not home. Now, he's like 16. He didn't do stuff. He's fine. But he also has ADHD and he gets really distracted.

He always gets to school. But if I get home after he's left, sometimes there is something that

he forgot to do, which is fine. The most common culprit when he is distracted and then rushed in the morning is his dishwasher level. I have shared this before. We have a dishwasher with three racks and I have three children. It is a fantastic arrangement. Every kid has a level and it is expected of them to put away the clean dishes from their dishwasher level before they leave for school.

“But just because it's expected, doesn't mean I shouldn't encourage them when they remember to do it.”

So today when I got home from the doctor, I did expect that Sam's dishwasher level would still

be full and it wasn't. It was empty. He remembered to do it, which is really great when he's on his own

and easily distracted. So I texted him and I was like, all I said was, "Hey, thanks for unlawing the dishwasher, Sam." I didn't say thanks for remembering. I didn't, you know, like because I was sure he was going to forget, right? I just thanked him for doing it. And y'all, he harded the message. If you have a teenage boy, a harded message is like a public hug. He only does that when words mean something to him. He's like a thumbs up guy all the way.

So encouraging him, I being grateful for something that he was expected to do.

“It made a difference. It made him feel good. If the roles were reverse, it would make me feel good too.”

And courage. Don't criticize. Begin with the good things. Say thank you for the expected things. If you need a teacher kid, how to do a task a little differently because the way they're doing it, like clearly means improvement, do that teaching with a heart of encouragement, not criticism. They're learning. They're probably tiny and they definitely have things they would rather do than learn how to like vacuum in a straight line. So be patient and encouraging as you lead

them in doing chores. Don't be a critic. Be an encourager. That's number two. Number three, relax. Don't resent. So this one comes down to two things. Perfection and contentment. If you think that something needs to be perfect, even if you don't realize you're expecting that, you will not relax when a chore is not done right. And you might even resent the person who did the chore wrong. You can't relax when you're trying to be perfect. You just can't. You cannot

relax when you expect perfection. Like those two things cannot exist at the same time. There's no such thing as a relaxed perfectionist. So let it go. Let it go. Your summer will not be perfect. Your children will not be perfect. Your chore system, whatever you end up doing, it will not be perfect. The chores will not be done perfectly. Nothing about this is perfect or even close. So stop expecting it. Relax and be content. Contentment is the

antidote to perfection. Good is here right now. Your kid is learning a skill even though it's taken a while. And it's like making you grimace because of how bad this kid is at the chore. But you shouldn't expect them to be great. Their kids, their learning, their tiny. They've so many other things they would rather be doing. As would you. So relax. Don't resent them for not following the plan exactly or for doing the chores poorly. Just like with the last point of encourage

and don't criticize. You can still help them learn how to do something better. Like they can still improve and prove and stop the table here. But if you do that improvement with perfection as the goal, it is not going to end well for anybody. So relax. They're just chores. That's number three.

and figuring out how to get them to do stuff. You have to acknowledge your expectations

“and they may be ridiculous and you need to kindly manage them if they are. This connects us obviously”

to the first three points. If you expect perfection, guess what you're going to do. You're going to

manage. You're going to criticize. You're going to risk it. People not a fun summer, everybody. It's not a fun anything. But if you check your expectations, if you notice what's happening, if you see this season as one where you get to empower your kids, you get to encourage them with their learning. You get to relax as they learn it. You're going to have a much better summer. And so were they. Those are reasonable expectations. Keep your expectations reasonable. Check them

when they're not. You and your family will have a better summer when you do. So those are the four things to remember. Empower, don't micromanage, encourage, don't criticize. Relax, don't resent and have reasonable expectations. Okay. So let's finish up with a six-word framework

“that can practically help you have an easier summer of chores as a family. Here are your six”

words. Do it daily, check in weekly. Do it daily, check in weekly. Okay. Let's start with do it daily. One of the quickest ways to make chores complicated is to make the system complicated. We are very good at that here with making things more complicated than they need to be. That's probably why you listen to this podcast and read my books anyway, is that you need lazy genus principles like I do. You need these reminders because it's too easy to build a big old machine that you expect

to run all summer. This is a group of builders, man. We've got to calm down. Now, if you already

have a chore system that you have done in the past and it worked, use it. That's amazing.

You have developed a system that works for you. Usually if you start small and you let something grow, it's going to grow into something that like appears complicated. That really it's just naturally working because it started small and it grew. Okay. So if you do that, amazing. Go keep going. When I'm about to share, it's not really for those people. It's it's not for the people who already have something in place because if you don't already have something in place, I don't want

you to build a big old system. It's going to die. It will not work. This is no multiple pieces or parts. These are for the people who haven't started with anything yet. They've started and start, they've started over. That's all that's happened. Built a big and started over, built a big and started over. We're not doing that. We're going to start a small as possible. And when you do start a small as possible, you actually have a chance of something sticking around. Okay. So that is why

the first part of our six-word practical framework is do it daily. Just pick something to do every day.

Give one thing to each person and make it simple and clear. It could be one task. Like put away all the toys at the end of the day. Done. That is that kid's chore end of story. It could be one room. One person is in charge of resetting the living room before dinner every night. Be clear about what that means. But that is their chore and that's it. It could be one chunk of time. Like every day at 11.30 before anybody eats lunch or goes off to

do their things or whatever. We're going to spend 30 minutes as a family doing what needs to be done. So like tidying first, cleaning second, starting laundry, whatever it is. Or it could be like two bits of time a day. Like two, two chore ones. One at the start, one at the end. But the point is that there is a daily, simple expectation of either task or time.

“Do it daily is simple. It is clear in its expectations. It is not hard to remember.”

If you were to do something similar to like a meal matrix with chores, where you're like Bathrooms are on Monday. Living room is on Tuesday. Bedroom is on it. That's too much to remember. It is too big to manage. It also makes every single day require a different amount of time. Like cleaning a whole bathroom. It takes a while, especially if it is cluttered. If you were to even think about that setup for yourself, it would be overwhelming.

That is building something too big. I want you to really imagine that difference with me. If we're like, okay, you don't have any discernible beginnings of anything. Currently, you clean and tie to reactively. But if I'm like, all right, bathrooms on Monday, kitchen on Tuesday, living room on Wednesday, bedroom on Thursday, whatever else on Friday and there's no boundaries. Are you kidding me right now? That's so much. That's so much. You're like, what do I have to do?

it to do that like every day, every week. Like it's too much to remember. And then it's too much to do.

“And seeing it all like that, especially starting from nothing and then building something big,”

what that does is it fragments your brain. It makes you think that you have way more to do because of how complex it is. Okay, so that's one thing to imagine. A little stressed out. I'm so sorry. Imagine something else. Imagine this instead. Every day as a family, we're going to spend 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in night doing what needs doing. Done. Or every day each person is in charge of this thing, this room or this task

to like keep a tidy or whatever. That's it. That's it. That's it. Okay. Now, none of

you're different. It's like, oh, okay, that's reasonable. That's doable. Like I said before, right now, you're probably like titing and cleaning reactively. You know, like when you don't have a system for it, it's just like when something is so messy, you can't handle it anymore. Or people are coming over. You're like, I guess we just are going to clean that up now. And perhaps actual cleaning, like getting dirt and dust off of things, that's also reactive

and probably not done very often. You know, that's normal. That's like most homes.

But if you suddenly expect that this summer, you're going build a whole system from scratch

where your entire family that doesn't already keep things clean and tidy all the time are just going to make it happen with no small steps in between. Man, no, that will not happen. You will, are you ready? You will micromanage. You will criticize and you will absolutely resent your people for not meeting your very high expectations. Start small, do it daily. And whatever it is and do it daily, make it so small, make it clear and consistent for your kids.

This is what I want you to do every day, right? Just that one. This is what I would like for you to do every day. It should be one thing if they don't already have anything to do yet. If they don't already have some sort of rhythm of stuff that they're doing, give them one thing a day that is it. Do you hear me? I know you've got a lot, you want to get done that you got a start small, give them one thing and then give it a little bit of time. Like let that thing find its

“legs and then maybe in a little while you can add a second thing. You should even probably”

tell your kids that at the beginning if you're starting from scratch. You know, you can be like, hey, we're going to start with everybody having one thing to do to help take care of the house every day. That is your thing to do. You can do it when you like and pretty much how you like and outside of that have a good time. And then in two weeks when you get used to that one thing, everybody's going to get another one. If they have not already started doing chores, you have to

start small. You have to. Okay, now if your kids are already used to doing a couple of things every day or in a regular basis, they're not going to be quite a shook by like a summer list of daily things by like more than one thing. It makes sense that when people are home more often and for longer, they're going to make more of a mess and they will probably have more time to contribute to take care of the home. So like in our house, that's kind of where we are. My kids already do the

dishwasher every day. They do their own laundry once a week. Sam also does the trash every week. And then every day we do like tidies and various chores as needed. Okay, so for my family,

“even though they already have things that they're already doing, it's really important that we”

also use do a daily. I need to think about their chores in the simplest, clearest way possible and not be tempted by a diagram chore chart. So I'm going to be like every day, you're still going to do the dishwasher level and help out. But since we're all home more, let's make that helping out a bit more locked in and clear for everybody. So these are the chores that help take care of the house this summer every day. And everybody's going to choose two of them to do every single day,

which ones is everybody want. And we might do the chore wheel spin. We might change it every few weeks. I don't know what we're going to do. But we're going to do it daily and we're going to keep it

You don't have to systemize every single part of your home this summer. Just choose the most

“essential things. Be a genius about those things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.”

And then do those genius things daily. Done. Don't overcomplicate it. Okay, so that's do it daily. Okay. The other three words of our six-word framework are check in weekly. Do it daily, check in weekly. This is important because even the smallest beginnings can be forgotten or grow overcomplicated really quickly. By checking in weekly, you remember what you agreed to. Everybody does. You won't forget what everyone's tasks are because you're talking about them together

on a regular basis. You're not just saying it once and then it's done. A weekly check in is also a

great time to encourage and empower your kids. Spend time thinking everybody for what they're doing. Ask helpful questions. Like, hey, does anybody have a task that's just like not working well for them? How can we make it better for you? Empower them to do something as well as they're able without criticizing. A weekly check in, it gives you a chance to do that to encourage and empower. A weekly check and also gives you a chance to make any adjustments for the upcoming week.

So let's say there are like bigger projects to come, not just the daily task, which is

typical of a summer, right? Maybe not during a school year, but it's typical during the summer.

So let's say that there are bigger projects coming like a room clean out, maybe working in the yard where you're like picking up sticks and mowing and planting flowers for the summer, all that. It could be like anything, literally anything. What's nice about checking in weekly is that you can prepare your kids, especially the bigger ones, for those changes. They're not like thrown for a loop, right? So you might say like, hey, so this week, because every week we're checking in,

this week is a great week to clean the bathrooms. It's going to be rainy, so nobody's going to the pool and it looks like there aren't any big activities taken up a lot of time. So let's figure out when we want to do that together. It'll take about an hour max. So let's pick an hour that we all agree on. Really, you're just using the plan acronym during these check-ins. Remember the plan acronym from the book of the plan that I wrote, a plan stands for, prepare, live, adjust, and notice.

“All of this have to work together. So what do we notice? What do we notice and what is or isn't working?”

And what do we notice that needs doing this week? That isn't already planned out, okay? What adjustments can we make to what we have been doing to make it easier for one person or for everybody? What adjustments do we need to make this week? Because like Johnny's going to camp or Sally starting our summer job or the grandparents are coming to visit and we need to take care of the guest room, like what adjustments do we need to make this week? Not forever, just for this week.

And then you can prepare better so that you can live and enjoy your summer, okay? So those are your six words. Do it daily, check in weekly. Really simple. And if you do those things, if you do those six words from a place of empowering your kids instead of micromanaging them, if you encourage instead of criticize, if you relax instead of resent, and if you let go of unreasonable expectations, you're going to have a really nice summer where your family is more likely to connect with each

“other warmly and kindly, and the essential stuff is getting done. So stop trying to build,”

so complicated summer chores system, just chill out, be kind, do it daily, check in weekly. And that is easier summer chores for families. As a child, you don't want to be a child, but we want to be a child for your loves. Of course, you don't want to be a child or a child, but you want to be a child or a child. You don't want to be a child, but you want to be a child, but you want to be a child,

now go to online and 15 Euro Amazon. www.diberesche.de. All right, it's time for a little extra something where I talk about busy summers for working parents.

something to do, summer is far more complicated than the school year.

“Like during the year, the kids just go to school. They might have some sort of after school program”

or sports practice or whatever, but for the most part, like every day is predictable. You know where everyone is going to be. In the summer, it's like getting out of an escape room every day. You're managing rides to and from camp and then dealing with like care of your kids on a week's where there aren't no camps. You're handing over that care to family or friends. You're juggling more schedules than just your own, plus you're trying to get all the regular things done,

like food and chores and quality time together, into a week that is already like screaming for

you to relax and like go swimming or something, because the summer pressure is there, even for

working parents. It can almost feel harder and all of these podcast episodes and Instagram posts and blog posts and stuff that you see, including mine, assume you're home and that is not terribly

“helpful. So what might that kind of season look like? How can you lazy genius when you are a”

working parent in the summer? So there is an episode that might be really helpful to you. Episode 330 is how I manage a busy season. So usually my busy seasons are logistics. But it's like a lot of to-do's. Your summer season might not have as many to-do's. It's more about calendar logistics than getting things done, but I do want to give that getting things done episode. It's a little bit of love in case it helps. But another one to consider

is episode 382 how to manage calendar logistics. Both of those might be helpful resources and figuring out a busy season no matter what it is. Okay. So that's 330 and 382. Now, since those exist for practical help, I'm not going to go into too much of that here, but I will say on an emotional level that it's hard when your season looks different than the seasons of most of the

“people around you. It's like a little lonely and it's practically difficult since people”

might not normally be a big help when they're in a very different rhythm than yours. You know,

that's not like a super great time. So first I would just encourage you to let people in,

like, emotionally, let a friend know that you're stressed out, but the summer. And I would also really encourage you to find a friend who's in a similar situation. There is nothing like solidarity and even helpful brainstorming to get you through a wild season. I have a close friend who has similar age kids to mine, similar work rhythms to mine, even like a similar family culture. And we talk about our life logistics all the time. We have even sat down and done calorie

calendaring. That is a word. It's not together. Like just in case we can overlap and help each other with rides or keeping kids or whatever. So if you can find a friend who gets it, keep in touch with that friend on a regular basis for like the emotional support. So you don't feel as alone. And then if possible lean on them for practical support too. My other piece of advice is to make as many other parts of life as simple as possible. You're likely already doing that

as a working parent. But summer is the time to really loosen up or to simplify things. Meals can be snacky and repetitive or like a little more convenience heavy than in other months. Shores can be they sick or maybe the quality goes down because your kids are primarily responsible for them. We've already talked about that. Leave behind the guilt or anything unkind that tells you you're not doing the season well enough. Simplify your thinking and just be kind. Some seasons are harder

than others and that is totally fine and normal so be kind to yourself when you're in one if this is it. And there's a good chance that the summer counts if you're still working. So those are just a few words that I hope encouraged those of you who are in a different kind of summer and also don't forget to go listen to episodes 330 and 382. And that is today's a little extra something. All right, let's celebrate our lazy jeans of the week. Sarah Panzini and her daughter,

Amelia Ana. Okay, Sarah writes this. My three-year-old daughter, soon to be for, has officially followed in her mom's footsteps and started answering the magic question. I love doing baths early in the evening for my kids, especially on those rare magical nights where there are no extra curriculars. Since we still snack or eat after baths sometimes, I usually prep for bedtime with the magic question. By laying out toothbrushes with toothpaste already on them,

to save myself the chaos of doing it right now or no right before bed for all three kids. Okay,

Okay, right? So Sarah is putting toothpaste on the toothbrushes when she's already in the bathroom

before crazy bedtime to make brushing teeth easier later, right? I did not say at the beginning what the magic question was. Okay, moving on. So recently back to Sarah. Now I'm Sarah again. Recently, my little helper has started getting the toothbrushes ready herself and for her siblings. Now to be fair, it does create a bit of a mess. Please insert an image of a determined three-year-old aggressively applying toothpaste here. But I love that she's already figuring out

how to do something now to make life easier later. This right here, you guys. This is exactly what I was talking about in this whole episode. It is hard to reconcile a chore or helpful task leading to more mess because when kids are involved, that happens. The point here is to not have the cleanest toothbrushes or the cleanest sink or like excellent toothpaste technique. The point is to empower little Ameliaana to think in helpful kind ways and learn how to do tasks in her own time.

She's getting encouragement from a relaxed parent like this is so sweet on multiple levels. So thank you for sharing this Sarah and congratulations to you Anna Ameliaana on being the

lazy geniuses of the week. And finally, for a mini-pop talk, for when you're tired of being asked

“questions, I think this pop talk is for me. I am so questioned out right now. So many of us are.”

In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I went to my one of my daughter's arts teachers to ask about the performance that night because it's May, you know, and there's performance this all the time. And I said to her, I was like, "Hey, can I ask a good question?" She let me dead in the eye and she said, "No." I laughed and I was like, "You know what? I get it. I get that totally." I mean, she told me, she let me ask my question and she answered it very kindly and warmly.

But like that reaction that sentiment is so real. It's like, "Hey, can I ask a question?" No,

you can't. I'm so sorry. I have no answers remaining. I'm done deciding things. I'm done giving

information. My brain has gone on vacation. No answers are going to exit my mouth for the foreseeable future. Like, that is such an end of May energy, isn't it? So if that is you, if you're so tired of answering questions, if you just need everybody to leave you alone, I get it. I don't think we're meant to be on call for people to the extent that most of us are. It's like that name from family guy, we're Stewie, like the diabolical baby. He keeps saying, "Mom, mama, mama over and over again."

Until she screams, "What?" And he says, "Hi," and runs out of the room. Like, "Oh my gosh, there are days where if I hear one more person yell, "Hey, mom, I'm going to get my car in life."

“But we usually can't leave. So what do you do when you're so tired of answering questions?”

Be honest and be kind. This teacher who's like, you know, like a friend, lovely. We know each other. She was honest, but she was also kind. Like, it was kind of a joke, but she kindly and honestly shared like, "How she was doing with that single word?" No. No, you can't ask me a quick question. I think that when we bring warmth and even comedy into this level of over-stimulation and overwhelm, it disarms everyone, including us.

Like the other night at dinner, I was like maxed out on stimulation and questions and decisions. And of course, of course, I quickly found myself with like one kid almost sitting on my lap. Again, we're at the dinner table. We're eating dinner. One kid is almost on my lap. The other one is handing me a school paper or something, and then the other one was asking me what's for dinner tomorrow. As like all this chatter, you know, it had been like very chattery. And I just

froze. My eyes got all big, and I just like slowly looked at all of them with like the wide eyes of a woman about to explode, but kind of in a funny way on purpose. They all backed off a little, that they also laughed and I was like, "I love you all." But I am declaring that for the next half hour, you have a mother who knows nothing about anything. Please solve her own problems, save your questions, or direct them to another person. Thank you so much. Like they even know, they know that

stewy clip, they will mock do it just to like grind my gears, but in a funny way. And that's really

“the main thing to remember. It's like if you remain kind, and if you were honest about the overwhelm,”

and if you can inject a little likeness or even comedy into it, the oversimulation does not go away,

that can feel like a betrayal, like no one even cares about you. They don't see.

“That if you're honest and kind, and you keep that honesty light, it's easier to do with,”

yes, take a beat, encourage your kids to solve their own problems. But in the moment, be kind and honest,

and keep it light. Everyone is more willing to listen and love you well when you do.

“And that is a mini pep talk for when you are tired of answering questions.”

If this episode was helpful to you, or if you have been looking for a way to support the show,

please share it with someone that you know, pass it along, like some are towards easier for everybody.

“You can also leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts all of it helps. This podcast is part of”

the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jennifer Sure, and Angela Kinsey, special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest lazy listen's email that goes out every other Friday. I had to, the lazyginesscollective.com slash listens to get it. Thanks y'all for listening,

and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, I will see you next week. [BLANK_AUDIO]