EP. 207 - Why Intelligent People Stay Underpaid For Years (While "D" Students Get Rich) ft. Hayley Mulenda Record

It killed 300 people, blew out the roof, and much else.

One of the most powerful symbols of the ancient world, a monument to ambition and empire.

The scale was enormous. The detail was just incredible. The Parthenon sculptures, masterpieces crafted in ancient Athens, icons claimed by more than one home. In this three-part special, we travel from the Sunlit ruins of the Acropolis, to the quiet polished halls of the world's most famous museums. They would become some of the most controversial pieces of art in history.

Who do the Parthenon sculptures truly belong to?

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Join us for the Parthenon sculptures, a journey through art, power, and identity. Listen now, search for forbidden history, wherever you get your podcasts. When you grow up in an end, when you grow up in an area that is low, social economic background, to you are basically shown more limitations than you do your ladders. And I want it to be a voice of possibility and not a voice of limitation.

I believe in the God of abundance. I believe that there's no such thing as limitation in this world when you serve and live in God. And when you serve a great God, the most powerful voice you have is your invoice. And how that voice actually shapes your destiny. That voice shapes your decision, that voice shapes what you set for in terms of life.

Business, relationships, that voice is the most important voice.

So you better invest in that voice. You better ensure that voice is healthy. You better ensure that voice is speaking life. And if somebody has a healthy inner voice, they can come across very cocky. No, they're just confident because they know who they are.

Some people feel uncomfortable with it because a lot of people don't actually know who they are. Why do you think then so many people, intelligent people, stay on the page for years, even when they know they're worth more? You don't get a lucky one, you get a lucky cellphone. A lot of people sell them because a lot of people care to watch what we think.

“How important is personal branded today when it comes to object income?”

And other people move past the fear of being judged when they start building on their presence. Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I'm your host, Ato. We have a special guest in the building. Second time with the podcast.

Second time with the podcast. So my guest today is Haley Melinda Records. She's a best-selling author, a multi-award winning international speaker. And someone who spent years helping people understand confidence, identity, and the inner voice that shapes how we shop in our lives and careers.

Haley, how are you doing today? I'm good, I'm dressed for a while, I can't complain. You know what?

I'm so excited to have you on the podcast again because when we had our first conversation,

I don't know if you read the comments at the first one, but a lot of people really liked it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot. And I was like two years ago. I know. A lot of great comments.

Yeah, yeah. And I can still get people watching it till today. Wow, that's amazing. It's huge impact. So I'm very much looking forward to this conversation.

But yeah, so how are your day being? How's your week been for you? Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. Of course, the book launch week. We launched in London on Friday.

Then I had to speak in the beginning of the Saturday. Then I went to Belgium on Saturday evening. Did a book launch and book signing in Belgium on the Sunday. Then came back on Monday. Didn't have a book signing.

And then I did podcast runs from yesterday. And then this is my third podcast run. Wow. Wow. You're working hard.

You're working hard. Fly back to Dubai tomorrow. Oh, my God. And then I do another book launch. Did they order that?

I did. Wow. To be fair, I'm really liking the layout of the book. Thank you. The book is amazing.

We're going to be talking a little bit about it as well. So please, people do stay tuned for the whole little conversation. And so my first question for you is when you look back, what's an early experience that shape. How you see yourself today? Not just as speak about as a person.

I don't know if I shared this in the first podcast, but I share that trigger one in. I will be talking about crime and violence. But I've shared that the fact that when I was 15, 90 you got stabbed. So I need to go to stab to grow up in the new Western Park. Let's share a few minutes away from our former secondary school which is St.

Angela's. And I just got affiliated with the wrong people. I guess there was trust. We didn't know any better. We were young.

And even though I don't warrant that type of behavior, I was set up basically. So it was a group of friends, a male friend, to our fore, you know, had my back. And they wanted my, they wanted my butt breathe. So they set me up to basically get stabbed so they could rob my butt breathe. And it was a crazy experience.

Experience in that age of 15. I don't forget because I happen to have an violence on stage. Actually, I don't forget that actually.

“And I remember kind of being in a predicament where think God out of fear.”

What happened is that rather than so the knife actually touched my abdomen. But rather than him going forward, he actually went back because someone saw. And it was literally about a grace of God that somebody saw him pull out the knife on me.

And because he was scared, he basically went back rather than went going into my abdomen.

And he ran away and she called the police and the police basically took me. And then they basically put me in a back of the car. And then when they went looking, I ran out of the car and I ran away. Because I basically was just kind of like, this is going to look so mad. A real and black girl at a back of a police car.

I'm not sitting in the front of the car. So it looks like I'm in trouble. How do I experience my mom? I shouldn't have actually been at the house. That's the number thing.

But there are so many different scenarios. And I basically just made decision like from that day onward that I was going to be a voice for changing my area. So shortly after that is when I ran for young male. So I ran for a male of New and when I was 16. And I was basically trying to eradicate knife crime.

And it's because of the fact that I was nearly a victim of knife crime. And I didn't want to be cystic. So I've been more or less now I'm 28. So I've been more or less doing this for 12 years. Well, I've been more or less trying to be a voice and to speak up on issues that people didn't.

It's not that people didn't want to. It's just that people didn't have the audacity to. And there was something in me where I was like, if not me then who and if not now then when. Mm-hmm.

Wow. Now I don't think you said that story. I don't think you said that story the first podcast. I'm thinking like my wife, why don't you think like, wow, that's my. Yeah, it's crazy.

Wow.

“So that's what's sprung you into like being a speaker.”

And would you say that kind of stole that thinking about it and talking about it? Does that still fuel you today? I wouldn't necessarily just say that I think my environment and my upbringing definitely does fuel me. And the reason why I say that is because of the fact that when you grew up in an end and when you grew up in an area that is low socioeconomic background, you are basically shown more limitations than you do your letters.

Yeah. And I want it to be a voice of possibility and not a voice of limitation. And I think it's very easy to basically look at particular people and think that it can only be them.

And I've never been kind of like an Oscar stem like, oh, I'm on this side of the world.

Okay, I live in the by and I've earned seven figures like I'm traveling around the world. I'm very much kind of like, no, my mentees are coming and shadowing me. They are coming to speak and engaged with me. I'm introducing them and bringing it into rooms. Simply because of the fact that, you know, I believe that God allowed me to go into those rooms to bust down the door that other people can book in.

And I've also encountered a lot of gatekeeping. Yeah. So in my young years of speaking, those are a lot of rooms I've tried to get into. A lot of people who are message. And I'll be honest with you, it was a lot of older black women who actually gatekeepers.

A lot of them didn't let me in. If anything, it was actually a lot of older black men. It was a lot of older white women and it was a lot of older white men that actually brought me in. That's wow. Yeah, it was like, how do you feel with that kind of?

I basically felt that it would have been me. I felt that it basically whatever experience. And don't get me wrong, like, it hasn't been everyone. There's definitely been a lot of supportive black women. Yeah.

And I can sing praises for a lot of black women. But I would definitely say I've also had a lot of backlash from them as well.

“And I think maybe for them, they may have felt it's continuing to cycle.”

Help people, help people. Maybe they felt like I had to fight. And maybe some people feel like I had to fight. So you have to fight as well. But I just don't think that's necessary.

That's just me. And I'm willing to have the conversation.

Basically to be like, we need to do better.

Especially for the next generation. Like, I was only 18 years old when I was getting particular messages. Or completely getting ignored. Even I'd go to particular networking events. And it would be awkward because they would kind of, you know, you've kind of reached

start to them. And then when they see that, like, they don't know you. It's just it's been mad awkward. That's crazy. Yeah, but I don't even look at it like, I'm shining or whatnot.

Yeah, I'm not paid. I'm not the type of person where I'm going to be like, oh, you did this to me. Because especially because I'm a Christian as well. I'm a personal faith. And, you know, I believe in forgiveness.

And I also believe in being a bigger person. So some of the people, you know, who have not necessarily been supportive of me. I'm not going to get the same energy because I'm not insecure. Yeah. So even if you try to hold me back, I'm not going to hold back my resources

because I believe in the God of abundance. Yeah. I believe that there's no such thing as limitation in this world when you serve and live in God and when you serve a great God. And so for me, I'm just kind of like, oh, okay, cool.

If you need something, then it's cool. It's not that deep. And that's the thing. You know what you were saying about, like, I think, supporting each other and abundance.

There is definitely, I feel like, like you say, that insecurity is like up from a place of lack, rather than feeling like there's enough. And there is enough in this world. No, more than enough.

More than enough. Yeah. You can tell what it is more than enough to be able to. Yeah. Right.

“And I think it's going to be an important thing for people”

to, especially in the first episode, we talked a lot about confidence. Yeah. I think this one and identity and asking for more. I believe in that you deserve more.

I think it's going to be important. Yeah. So, growing up, what kind of relationships did you see people around you have a money? How do you think that influence you?

Um, I grew up with a lot of fraud. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people, a lot of people in,

a lot of people in the ends were asking for squares.

I think in what is squares. People asking for credit cards to do fraud on. So I literally get in so many messages in terms of BBN.

And people always ask for basically deeds, squares,

credit cards. So many people who I know who are blacklisted from banks right now, because they got involved at 15 out of 90. You know, you think you're going to make quick money. And some people were making quick money.

They're making 500 pound. Like 700 pound. Imagine we're 15, 16. And people are seeing money. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. People were going country. People were going up country selling drugs. That was a tough environment that I was exposed to from a very early age.

“And in terms of money, I think we were taught to make things very quickly.”

And it's a revelation that I actually got very recently about growing up in ends and growing up in the type of areas that we grew up in, in terms of chicken and chip shops. When you think about it, in places like Peckham's, when you think about the stratford,

I'm talking about stratford pre-wessful by the way, mana parks, when you think about the ill-ford, the cannon towns, custom houses, when you think about the brickstones, there's so many fast food shops. Now, that actually impacts your view of money because basically you are taught things

happen fast. You don't actually learn the power of process and you don't learn the power of patients. So you are basically taught if you want something quickly, you pay cheaply, and you get something basically that's not necessarily nourishing, but you get it quick. So the fast foods are not nourishing, but it's quick.

So you're basically taught basically money equals speed. It doesn't matter if it's good for you, just as long as you get it fast. And that's basically what I felt the relationship with money for me happened. That basically was taught, get money fast. It doesn't matter how you get it, just get it.

And it was when I was around 18 when I started getting mentors and mentorship, and I started now being around a lot of entrepreneurs,

and they basically always taught me about how integrity, patience,

and I think that is basically what shifted my finances a little bit. Then I started obviously getting paid for speaking. I got my first paid speaking gauge from last 17. I was, yeah, I was a 50 pound and I was 17 from my first ever talk, and it was so proud of me.

And then for a days' worth of speaking engagement, I got paid 1k when I was 18. That's amazing, yeah. So you can imagine, I started seeing money very quickly, and I spent that 1k an hour after. Oh wow.

I didn't know how to handle it. Well, did you spend it on that talk? That's not bad. It's not bad, but still. It's always quick, yeah.

It's like quick, it was just kind of like, and then I got into this habit of make money spend, make money spend, not make money to grow, not make money to invest, not make money to shift things, it was more money to spend.

“And the money is there to spend, but you have to be wise with how you spend the money.”

There has to be a return investment. So yeah, that was kind of things that I had to learn myself. I didn't learn initially. Yeah, what made you switch out from the whole making and spend cycle? That was gross, yeah.

There was no money, there's no more money to spend. This is the more money you're like. What's going on? I'm working hard. There was no more money to spend, so something had to shift.

I had two business, I had a business before. So actually, for my 18th birthday, I registered my business. Yeah, so for my 18th birthday, I registered my first business. And then I had to dissolve it. Because I did that, I had to handle money in terms of business.

Obviously, I'm working with schools. That's how I must be through the schools. And I was getting paid thousands. And then when the tax man came, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And so I used to write a little signature, I must say.

Sorry, like, please, like, let me go. Like, I don't know what I'm doing here. And I think there was one, I think, and then I think I told him I'm 18. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I should just write them a little.

And then let me off. Then let me off the first time. And then I got to another situation. I happened to say, I'm just going to dissolve this company. Because I don't know what I'm doing.

Then I registered my second business when I was 21. When I felt like I went and I actually understood business now. And understood a little bit about finance. Got myself an accountant all of that when I was 21 as well as I felt that. So, yeah.

“So, do you think that's what helped, like, getting an accountant to, like, help you?”

What are the things that you think that you put into practice, which led you to not be broke again? Yeah. Getting an accountant, I definitely would say, understanding the language of money. Money is definitely a language. It's not just a byproduct.

It's actually a language. It's actually, there's a way of thinking. There's a way you approach it.

One of the things that I have found in terms of money is if you learn to be a highly valuable person, you'll never be broke again.

If you learn how to actually use your value and turn it into assets and actually be valuable. It's not just even understanding you have value, but understanding that you're valuable.

Again, people from money at you.

I have people who literally are always asking me to coach them.

I turn them down. I turn people down now. Because of the fact that people will always flock to whatever is valuable. When you think about someone like Tony Robbins, to be coached by Tony Robbins is a tenier way in this. Probably, yeah.

It's true. It's not even probably. It's true. It's a tenier way in this to be coached by him. He has a tenier way in this.

He's valuable. Yeah. People want to learn from Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins is one of the best in my industry. He's number one.

So, yeah, of course, Eric Thomas, Eric Thomas is earning six figures of talk. He's valuable. And it's all about perceived value. Yeah. So, that's something that I have learned.

When you think about what's the difference between Louvre time and what's the difference between something from Warman and Esther, it has nothing to do with the product. It has open to the brand. Yeah. It's perceived value.

Because Louvre time is now a luxury brand. The value automatically goes up. So, any time that you put something of value on some level.

“Now, that's why I'm so being on personal branding.”

Any time that you put a brand of valuable brand on a product, the price automatically goes up. Yeah. Literally, it automatically goes up. So, it can be a t-shirt.

It can be a jumper. As soon as you slap Louvre time, a door, a cartier, a Hugo boss. Whatever the brand is, just because of that, there's a logo there.

Or just because it's basically a label there,

you can add an extra two-zero or zero. Yeah. Because of perceived value. Mm. And I just feel like when I understood value,

when you are valuable person, not only can you, not only can you ask for more, you can want more. Yeah. Because you actually understand that,

oh, go for it. I'm a personal value. And I think for a lot of people, they might think that's a bit cocky. But it's just like, no,

if you know your personal value, you can ask for more. Yeah. And I'm glad that you mentioned that, because we have an interesting conversation coming up about that. I do really appreciate that.

And because you are, like you said, your book really talks a lot about that person, right now, you know, you're somebody who's like built a person brand. Running a business is tough.

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or clicking a link in the description. And start supercharger your business with zero. I wanted to know from you right, when did you first become aware of your own inner voice, that ongoing conversation that we all have with ourselves?

What do you mean in terms of, like my own inner voice, in terms of like what speed? Like yourself talk, yeah. Mmm, yeah.

I think when I was 18, when I was 18, when I wrote my first book, so this is my second book. This is my first published book,

but I still published a book when I was 18. And I wrote that book basically, because I was journaling a lot when I was actually, when I was suicidal. Okay.

So at age 18, I trusted my life multiple times, and writing got me through really dark periods. And I basically wrote letters to myself, things that I would want myself to remember

to help me get out of that dark place.

“And that's what that first book is about,”

is basically called the ABC Student Success, which is for any student that basically is going from mental health issues, and basically needs an alphabet breakdown of basically how to overcome dark times.

So the ABC's is basically the alphabet from A to Z, of different things, every basically letter comes of a different life lesson. So A's acceptance, B is this, C is that. And I basically wrote that,

and published that when I was self-publishing when I was 18. And that was how I had to develop self-talk, because I didn't have anybody. Well, I had a lot of friends, of course, but there will be a lot of times when I was in bed by myself,

or it'd be the night. And I literally was in such a dark space. And something I do talk about, actually quite a lot in the book, as I talk about the most powerful voice you have,

is your inner voice. And how that voice actually shapes your destiny. That voice shapes your decisions, that voice shapes what you settle for in terms of life, business, relationships.

Like that voice is the most important voice,

so you better invest in that voice. You better ensure that voice is healthy, you better ensure that voice is speaking life and lot of everything. One of the things that I am very, very happy about

And because of the fact that I feel like

“sometimes these voices can be so unhealthy,”

you basically assume that,

"Oh, if somebody has a healthy inner voice, they can come across very cocky." It's not, no. They're just confident, because they know who they are.

They know who they are, and some people feel uncomfortable with it, because a lot of people don't actually know who they are. A lot of people are not confident in themselves. A lot of people don't love themselves.

But I'm very big on knowing who you are, who you are, knowing exactly the power of your inner voice here. Yeah, okay. I appreciate that.

And like I said, I think it's so important, and what you were saying about writing, you know, journaling. I think such a genius thing.

A lot more people need to journal. Do you still journal till today? Yeah, journal quite a lot. I write quite a lot. Funny enough.

So writing for me is very personal. So I write a lot. I actually first started writing, then I did speak it. Okay.

So I actually started with the motivational blog. Right. So before I started speaking, I started speaking properly. I took my speaking seriously,

probably when I was 17. But I actually started writing my blog when I was around 15, 16. So even though I've done a young mayor,

“and even though I've done that when I was 16,”

I was writing every single week for two years. And I was able to grow my blog over 75,000 views. When I was in six form. That's amazing.

Yeah, BBM. I had a baby, BBM.

So I literally would always remember,

I would always put a blog on my BBM. I would always get everyone to share it. I literally would get 50 of my friends to share amongst their friends on broadcast. So yeah, I was like, proper on it.

And I, yeah. And then it got to a time when I basically made my writing or private. And I actually had a blog just before I got married, actually.

I had a blog basically of all the, things I wish that women, women, what are things that I like women should know before they get married. And basically things that I wish I knew sooner, basically.

So I basically, you had a whole blog dedicated to basically, well, things that I learned when I was in Gage. Heading from my daddy issues. Basically in terms of like even preparing for sex. Just all these computer conversations,

because obviously I'm a Christian, and those conversations I don't feel like we were having in the church. I was like, I want to blog about it. And those are just like a lot of people also about money, about money and marriage,

and how that, how that, how I was navigating that, come from a single parent household. So there was just a lot of things that I would write, and then I'd write, and then I'd go into like speaking and retreat.

So when I was writing this book, I was actually really scared, because even though I write personally, I write for myself. So if I felt like it was a bit like,

oh, you guys are going to see a different side of me, because this is a bit more of an intimate part of me. That writing is very intimate for me. So writing is how I communicate often with God. It's very intimate process.

So how I write and just how I like process. I normally process through writing. A lot of my friends know I hate phone calls. I hate phone calls and I hate voice notes. Is it?

I'm a textar. I love it. I think I'm becoming that now. I love becoming that now. Even like right now, I'm so grateful to our message.

I'm so grateful to Instagram, telegram, because you can transcribe now all the voice messages. I just need what's up to jump on. I need what's up to jump on. But I love being able to read.

I love reading. I love writing. Okay. So all my friends know that Haley would type, I can type it whole paragraph.

I don't mind typing. Yeah. I don't mind. Yeah, I don't mind. Okay.

So even just kind of writing that book and that process, it was just kind of like, oh well, that people are going to get access to a side of me that is quite intimate.

“But I thought like it was important to show that other side of me.”

Yeah. I think it's important. You know, when I was reminded that obviously,

I know this is now this is your second book.

But I was like, wow, you're so multifaceted. Like you got the two books. You know, before they, and then the old great speakers was, no, it's amazing. Honestly.

So I want to talk to you this right, because we're talking about like that in a voice right. Why do you think then so many people, intelligent people, stay on the paid for years,

even when they know their, they're worth more. They don't believe they deserve more. Hmm. You don't get the last few one.

You get the last few so far. Okay. A lot of people sell. A lot of people sell. Because a lot of people care to watch me think.

They kind of like, but what if they think I'm there, what if they think of that? I know that I irritate people. I know.

I know that people think that I do too much. I know. Like, for my book launch, I went red. I became a redhead literally.

I went, I'm got a red wig. Because I was just kind of like, why not? Like, why not for this book launch? I'm going to be literally a whole different color. Why not?

Why not? Am I going to, but even when I said to you, you want to say it to you? And I was just like,

oh yeah, I went to Belgium for my second book launch. Yeah. People like you went to Belgium. Why not?

Hmm. Like, I'm just like, why not? Why not? Put myself an alleged to my husband.

As soon as 2025 hit, December 2025, I said, but I'm going to a good book next year.

we need to make money. Because I'm going to, we're going to sell funding. And it's me, so funding it.

“I'm going to have any brand partnerships.”

I'm going to have different partnerships. They want to come listen. Hello, who had your college a girl. But,

yeah, like, when I hit hit hit down the work, put my head down. I was like,

yeah, I'm going to go in a global tour to let people know, why not? You know, have audacity and,

you know, I think for me,

I always think my 15 year old self

are having the audacity because, you know, she went into rooms that didn't look like her. I went to Microsoft to the UK cabinet office, to the government of Al Coane to Google.

Just so many different organisations. I've worked with over 50 corporations. And that was because there was a 15 year old young black girl that believed that she was allowed to go into those rooms. Yeah.

And I just didn't settle. So even when I wanted to do this book launch, I did my book launch in Barclays HQ. And the reason why I did that is because I remember telling myself,

growing up, people are also not allowed there. People are also allowed in Canoe walls. Wow. That was kind of what was insinuated

because I come from the neighbouring borough. Yeah. Because I grew up in Newham, but Canoe walls is Tower Hamlets. But I am literally where I grew up was literally

four minutes away from Canoe walls. So we would see all the time on the A-14 when you're driving. We'd always see that building in terms of Barclays Canoe walls.

Or any of those Canoe walls buildings. And it was very much like, when I was young, yeah, we used to go down to school trips and stuff like that. But if we went to school trip,

certain people would look at us. They'd look at us when we were there loud. Go in there. They would let us know. You're not allowed here.

So I've had to myself. When there comes a time when I have enough money. When I have enough notoriety, I will come back and I will shut this building down. And I shut it down for my book launch.

I brought over 200 people into that building. That's my privilege. And the reason why I was to show representation because there was young black girls who were in that book launch. Girls I coach, girls I mentor and I'm letting them know.

You're allowed in these type of buildings. Don't ever let anybody tell your not allowed in these buildings. That's why representation matters. I'm important. Wow.

So, hi. You know what? I've got so many follow-up questions. Okay, let me go through the first one. Yeah.

The first one is, when you thought about doing your book launch, and I'm trying to also help people there thinking like, because, you know,

as well as you have an opposite in the voice, you have that negative for that person. Where we were talking about, okay, you're not getting paid. And I said, I believe in himself.

Even though you're okay, this is what I want to do. Right? How did you kind of combat that other voice I say? Why are you doing that?

You can't do that. Well, I've got this famous quote, and it's famous saying that took me viral. Your T-burner not to be visible. Literally wearing it on my jumper.

“Sometimes you have to look at a bank account.”

Sometimes it's okay. At your bank account. I know that, listen, you feeling as far as sorry for yourself. It's not going to make that number any higher.

The only thing that will take that number higher, you've got to have audacity and you've got to go after it. It's feeling sorry for yourself. It's going to make even make that number go lower. That's honestly true.

The money is not going to get high for sorry for yourself. You basically need to make the moves. So for anybody who's negative, okay, it's Eva, your mind is negative,

or your bank account is negative, pick one. You can't have both. You can't have both. And this is not even,

'cause people could be like, 'Oh, need realistically, you guys.' One thing I always say, 'Prime with the heavens.' And money moves the earth.

So you have to even pick what negative you're going to be in. Is it going to be a negative mindset? Or bank account? That's negative. Personally for me,

I'm not having any. So I just have to basically make a decision. And when you actually give yourself an automater, and basically it's Eva, you win or you win.

And I think people give themselves too much of an option of plan B. They're too reliant on plan B. I am a person of faith,

so I always make that disclaimer.

And I don't think it was a time when I was reading the Bible, and there's a story about a man called Peter. And basically there's a story about a man called Peter, when he meets Jesus. And Jesus basically tells Peter,

'Castion it onto the right side.' Peter was fishing all day, fishing all night. He was tired. And literally Peter said,

'Jesus said to Peter, 'Do you know what? 'Castion it onto the right side.' And even Peter was hesitant. But Peter causes it onto the right side.

And the Bible literally says, 'The amount of fish that Peter ended up having and receiving, 'The net to nearly broke.' The scripture actually says that the boat nearly sank. And I was,

those are time hours reading it. And I felt like the Holy Spirit said to me, 'Haley, so many people prepare for their failure, but a lot of people don't prepare for their breakthrough.' Peter was not prepared for that fish.

That's why the net to nearly broke. The net to nearly broke, because he didn't have strong enough nets that can contain the fish that he was praying for. And I realised that,

'Wow, Haley, you have been preparing for your plan B. That you didn't actually prepare if your plan A works. So what happens if you actually really do in? What happens if you really do blow?

“What happens if this book really takes out the hood?”

Like, I've got,

I've started now having preparation for my breakthrough.

So I don't now just prepare for if things go wrong. I'm just kind of like, but what if things go right? What if, what if you fly?

“What if you fly and you go business class and then you go first class?”

What happens? Yeah. Like, a lot of people basically don't prepare for the place they're praying to arrive. And I was just kind of like, hell, is you basically got to start preparing for your breakthrough.

And that's basically the mentality I have now.

I'm always preparing for basically God's best.

Okay. So you're saying that people and to be fair, you're right. Whenever we do think about doing things, you're right, it's like, what's the back of plan? I'm like, I'm not gonna laugh it like that.

And actually, honestly, you're right. Why don't you dream? Dream? Dream again?

Like, we were younger, right? It's actually free. And I find that with a lot of people, the reason why they don't dream is simply because of the fact that it's quite,

it's quite, I think, I don't think people feel, I don't think people fear failing. I think people fear failing in front of others. Yeah. That's what people fear.

To laugh. I've just put this, but it doesn't bang. But listen, one thing I'll tell you, I failed many times, I do. But I'm not a failure.

I become a failure when I decide I am. Yeah.

“I think a lot of people have taught themselves so failure.”

And something I always say is that failing is an experience.

Failure is not a person. Yeah. You only make it person when you decide you're that person. Just because you feel it does not mean you're a failure. And I think there's a lot of people who have made failure very personal

and they've been stuck there. And I think they're embarrassed. But there's something that even Amos said. And she said that, you know, in order for you to be great, there's the cost of embarrassment.

You're embarrassed yourself. I was speaking, well, 15, 16, 17, 18, or my early footage at her. I'm a young, sweet, key voice. Oh my gosh, yeah, I'm going to pat it out.

You don't need to. That's how you speak. I speak with a lot of slang. Yeah. Before then, I had a heavy potty mouth.

You just swear a lot. But over the years, I became more refined. Over the years, I started reading more. Over the years, my vocabulary increased. Over the years, I became more palatable.

Over the years, I learned how to code switch. Over the years, I understood how to speak across different nations because I travel internationally. Over the years, I learned how to speak with translators. Because it's one thing being able to be a great speaker.

It's another thing being able to speak with translator.

“Because you have to be able to have such a confidence in your talk”

that every sentence you have to talk, you have to stop. So the translator can translate. So these are the things that I learned over the years. I'm not going to know that at age of 16, how to speak with a translator.

I'm not going to know at age of 16, how to slow down. When you're speaking to ESOR students or ESOR people, where English is their second language, you're not going to know how to do that. You're not going to know how to communicate to those other people.

But you don't have to be great in order to start but you have to start in order to be great. Yeah, and this is a very important thing. And thank you so much for saying the identity. Because it moves us into our next section.

That you said that you fail, but that's not your identity. The identity is what you decide. It should be. And I think that's a very important thing for people. It's like, what's the identity that you want to have?

Is this the identity of where you are now? Is that what you envision for your life or you dreaming, or someone beyond it for you? You know what's so crazy actually? I don't know how we are saw this, right?

Because obviously I follow the YouTube channel. But I saw even a picture of you young. Yes. That's a rock. I hate this.

I've got a lot of information for you. But you had to audacity.

And I was like, wow, like, this is amazing to see

because you were like a young person speaking, but you were in a room full of people like that. Yeah. You did anyway. Do you know what?

You're confident. I don't think that. Do you know what the crazy thing is? I told half of my career. I don't know what the hell I was doing.

I would have been saying 90% of my career. I don't know what the hell I was doing. Up until last year, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Up until last year, I didn't even know what my message was. Up until the book launch,

I felt like God told me what my message was. And it's the power of audacity. Yeah. I didn't know what my message was. I was doing so many messages.

I have so many keynotes. Gosh, I've done DNA. I've done mental health. I've done confidence. I've done motivational speaking.

I've done so many different types of keynotes for different organizations. And it was only this year. Twenty, twenty, six, thirteen years in the game.

I was like, hey, the best your message. Speak up audacity. Basically, you don't get the life you want. You get the life you settle for. I only just really, and do you not what a crazy thing is.

You don't discover your message. You live it. I had to reflect, hey, what is your life actually? What has the words of your life spoken? That even words can't speak louder than it.

My life has been a message of audacity. Yeah. And I was like, oh, hey, you does your message. And I only just realize it. It's your eveninger.

Yeah. Okay. And is is culminated in the book as well. Yeah. Even in terms of finding enough the book.

I had a completely different title. It was a completely different title.

It was basically one of my keen notes.

I was going to put my keynote into a book. And then after some time, a prayer brainstorming, I just was like, nah, this book needs to be called Speak Up. This, and I have like courses, coaching, and all of them are under the name Speak Up.

And I was like, nah, this book needs to be called Speak Up. And I was like, fair. Okay, cool. And then I went back to demos that actually this book needs to be called Speak Up.

Mmm. As a, literally, I will show you the contract after the initial contract I received. That was not actually the name of the book. Yeah.

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You don't actually become that person that you need to be. So how can people move from that inner voice to, like, actually making positive, like financial. Physicians and traces, especially if you talk about yourself as well. Yeah, one of the things I'm very big on is proximity's power. Proximity's power.

Get around people who are doing it well.

“So if you want to basically improve the area of finance, you're improving the area of fitness.”

You're going to improve the area of, I don't know, clicking. Who around you is doing it well and learn from them? I'm when I moved to Dubai. I want to go back to Dubai. I want to go back to Dubai.

You eat. You eat. There is so many motifs with food. Brunch, lunch. Those times when I've done brunch twice in a day. You do breakfast once.

You do brunch across Dubai, sir. Then you do it too much. So I've got to point out that, yeah. Okay, how is that? You need to get your fitness. You need to go back to the gym.

Looking, looking, looking, looking, looking. And then some person was posted in that Perry Shakespeare and was in Dubai. And I was just like, hmm. How cool would it be if I had an excellent pimp in my personal trainer? And I also was just like, can you pee to me?

She was like, yeah, cool. I was like, yeah, boom. That literally within 24 hours, I've booked as my PT. Hmm. Because if I want to improve and I want to take my fitness seriously, I need to basically get the best in that area.

And literally me and Perry are training three times a week. That's a lot, I love it. Yeah, it's intense. And she literally messaging me like every other day holding me accountable. Why? Because I'm paying her to hold me accountable.

Right?

So that's the most important thing.

Like my husband is a great marketer. My husband is literally the person that more or less stands behind my brand. And my husband is literally the go-to in terms of marketing. Be go-to in terms of short from content. And I actually love my husband.

I actually told my husband, teach me everything that you are trying to do for my brand. Teach me, so I think the way you think. And it got to the point where literally, even though I still don't necessarily handle my brand per se. Because I have a whole team behind my brand. People will come to me now, basically, that, hey, I want to do this.

“And I could be like, oh, you need to exercise it.”

So I said, how do you know that I'm at my husband? And because it's a language, now I understand the language of marketing. I understand language of branding. I understand the language of speaking. I understand language of fitness now.

I understand the language of business. Like all these things were languages I learned from proximity. Okay. I've got a lot of girls that I mentor. Funny enough, actually, in Belgium.

And they speak French, right? I'm not the best at French. I just about got a C. Just about script to see. I don't know how to hell I got a C.

Right? But a bossy in GCSE for French.

And one of the things that always say to the girls is,

okay, I want to improve my French. Speak to me French. So literally straight away. So you know, I've got the phone. I'm out.

I want to draw servers. I've been here at that. Literally, I'm speaking to my French. And they will correct me. Every single time when I try and say something, they'll correct me.

Simply because of the fact that if I want to improve the language, I must be constantly speaking at me. Speaking it. And I find that a lot of people need to understand. If they want to, based in improving the language,

So I travel a lot to now, Belgium.

“I travel my travel to a listen to French speaking things.”

Like I listen to things. So that I can basically get used to the environment of the language because proximity is power. And that's something that I learned from Tony Robbins, actually. Okay, that's amazing.

And for that person that's listening watching and saying, okay, but how do I get this proximity informed me? Especially if it's like somebody that it feels a bit of outreach for them. Nothing's outreach. Definitely.

True. There's the internet. Okay, you might not know me. What's your every single broadcast? Yeah.

I don't know Tony Robbins. I really think it's good. I've been watching Tony Robbins. I don't know Tony Robbins from Yang. Listen, let me tell you to store about me in E.T.

Yeah. So Eric Thomas is the forward of my book. Eric Thomas is a normal motivation to speak in the world. I came across E.T. when I was 15 years old. Okay.

I came across E.T. when I was 15 years old on YouTube. As bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful. I came across that guru story.

I thought damn who's this guy so powerful.

Then I religiously started watching Eric Thomas. Then God is Monday. Yeah, I was watching that. You know what? E.T.

What up? What up?

“And I'd be listening to him religiously.”

Listen to him in a gym. Listen to him on the way to school. Listen to him in six form. Listen to him when I was doing my A levels. I'll listen to him religiously.

2016. I found that he's coming to London. Save that money. And I got the cheapest ticket. I just wanted to be in the room.

I was right at the back. I was right at the back. And at the time, Sully breaks were sharing the stage with him. Sully breaks are also in the lineup.

So I reached out to Sully. I knew somebody who reached new Sully. And I was at the new to connect to Sully. As I'm a gosh that you're going to be in the lineup with E.T. I love to connect with you and stuff like that.

Me and Sully got locked in from then. E.T. came to the stage. Spoke. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I really want to meet this guy. Saved up two years later.

I threw myself to Philadelphia by myself. To go to one of his masterminds. If Philadelphia was 20. Got VIP ticket. Did a meet and greet.

I gave my first book. I gave E.T. My first book. I signed it. And I came said you're going to know who I am.

And he came said, okay. That happened in 2018. I kept going to listen to him. He would do some online conferences, webinars, Instagram, lives, YouTube, lives.

I'd always be on. I wouldn't even comment. I'd always be on. I'd always be on. Just learn and learn and learn and learn and learn and then.

Twenty, twenty, three. A mentee of mine who I had been coaching and speaking was like, Sis, I'm about to go to America. There's a conference that eats he. Um, in case speaking at.

And I really, I really, I really like I want to be in the room. And I was like, oh, cool bro. Like, cobbless and joy in it. I was like, delicious to tell. Let me know.

Let me know how you find it. It was like actually pretty expensive conference. I'll be honest. I was like, for each ticket was like free. Whoa.

Yeah. And I was just like, yeah. And I was like, well, January. Literally. This was January 2nd of 2023.

I'd start year manager and joy and joy and joy. Now, 2024. So 2024. And I was just like, oh, yeah. Enjoy.

And then I said, I'm a husband about it. I was just like, oh, yeah, that babe. Um, Rob, his name's Rob, Rob's going to this conference. I taught him that. I was telling him that he's going to be there.

Only 200 people in the room. This, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. And it's not a time to me. So why you not there? That's like, huh?

He was like, hey, there's longest I've known you.

You have always want to be mentored by Eric Thomas.

I know you know how to work a room of 200 people. Look at the tickets, how much of tickets. When I bought the tickets to Atlanta. And then last minute, my husband was like, I want to come now, because I want to see exactly why you love this man so much.

We spent 10,000 pounds. Well, to go to that conference. Inclusive of two tickets, two return flights. Um, we got the VIP ticket. We got a high ticket.

So we could be in private rooms. So I could work the rooms. Me and Sterlin. When I tell you, we had a strategy. Boom, babe, you were at that room.

Okay, did it, did it, did it, did it. But the, the main aim was ET. Hmm. I went to ET actually at that conference. And I said to him, can take a picture.

He was actually on the way out. He was like, yeah, quick, quick, well, I'm about to go out. And I said to him, you've never raised up a London speaker. All your rusters of speakers that you basically, how raising up in your mentoring, they're all American.

You don't have a British speaker yet. I'm going to be the British speaker.

“He said, okay, that's what they all tell me.”

That's what they all tell me. I said, I know what I'm talking about. I know what I'm talking about. And, um, literally there's that. I connected with CJ that day as well.

And I invested into more of their programs. So literally I was going back and forth from America. I went, I went to America six times that year. Wow. I was, I was hungry.

I was hungry. You don't get the life you want. You get the life you settle for. Yeah. I was hungry.

End up even doing a weekend in Mexico with them. At the mastermind. Learning from ET, learning from them. Get, just so they can see me. And also the reason why I went and done it in America is because

I'm the only British accent. So they're going to remember. Yeah, you stand out. Yeah. So I made sure I was standing out.

So you'd smell me and you'd hear me. So I'd wear the suits and everyone would be like, Oh my gosh. These are not only for my suits. They all have suits now because I'll go and I literally give them suits.

And then they knew me for my British accent.

So I basically made sure I was in a place where my highest advantage

is I'm standing out. So at least you got to a point where they'll listen. We want to collaborate with you. You want to come to London. So that's when I brought them over to London in 2024.

Yeah. At that event is where I came and said you're too broke. Not to be visible. Holving went viral. At that time, ET, basically saw how hungry I was and how dedicated I was.

That's when it was kind of like, yeah, I'll take you on them under our wing. Then a few weeks after that was when obviously that funny enough, I already had my book deal. But I hadn't had my forward yet. And we would only just build a relationship.

And I was just kind of like, you know, I'm just going to ask him, I'm just going to shoot my shot. And I just, she messed it up. Now, I just kind of like, yeah, this might be like a huge ask. But for my forward, like, would you mind doing a hit or say, yeah,

of course, like, no doubt, like the fact that you ask, of course. And he's been so supportive for the book. So supportive, tons of pushing it in terms of even when we did a visibility series. He was my closing person that came on promoting the book. Yeah, he's just been so supportive.

“But I think, I don't want to put words in his mouth.”

But I think, I don't know me not speak for him. Let me speak for life. I think life will reward you when your audacious enough to try and get it. I think that too. I agree.

I think when you, I was just like so in awe of the story, because I think why also in awe is because you just, it goes back to what you said, your audacious enough to try and give it a go. Not knowing what will happen. Yeah.

There was no guarantees in everything that you did. But also part of the series. Because he's actually, he's actually, well, I don't actually know if he's still got my first book. I gave him my first book in 2018. Exactly.

It's 2026. We did that. You went to that. Some people would have been like, I'm just shocked. I can't ever get in touch to this person.

Yeah. And that's what you stopped. And this is where, you know, in terms of money, I'm the type of person that money is a tool. When it's used right, it can open great doors for you.

Money will never give you happiness.

Personally, I personally believe that only God can give you happiness. But money can give you happy moments. And give you the opportunity to encounter happy moments.

“And I think that for me, I basically have vowed that I'm always going to use my money”

to basically put me at an advantage. So, as I said, I invested with that year alone more than 10K. That was just the bent. You can imagine going back and forth. I'm going to master my end in Mexico.

I'm going back and forth from the UK to the US. And that was all sort of time. I'm going back and forth to the buyer as well. So I went to the buyer, about seven times that year. I went to America.

That six times that year. And then I went to Mexico, went to Uganda. Twenty twenty four hours. I was on a flight every three weeks. I was on a flight every three weeks.

People would not see me. Wow. But I was so hungry for it. So, there's certain people who want to see me now. In twenty twenty six, they're kind of like, "Oh my gosh, you've got this book.

You're going on a tour. You're going on this. I'll just have that. I've been doing it. It's just I didn't have a camera at the time.

Now I'm more visible. Now I've got vlogs. And now you can see me doing all of that. And just kind of, guys, I've been about this. I was doing a university book tour with my first book.

Twenty sixteen. I did twenty six universities for six weeks. You've got a hungover. I've been about this. The unfortunate thing is that when people get older, I think they just become more conscious of people's opinions.

It's not that I don't think it's that they get less hungry. I think they become more conscious of like more people watching them. But I don't watch that. Like, I know people watching me.

“But the truth is, God is watching me as well.”

And I focus on that. I focus on the fact that I have a God that I'm going to answer to it in my life. And I also have, you know, I don't have children yet. But I would like to believe that, you know, I want my children to be part of me. I have a husband.

I want my husband to be part of me. I've got a mom. I've got my brothers. I've got people around me that I'm setting a standard for. Also, I've got young black girls from Intel.

What Jimmy? Like, I've got girls that I've met and they've shown me pictures of their room. And I'm literally, um, I'm literally on their wall. Among their wall. Among their dream boards.

Among their vision boards. And that's when that's when it started hitting me. That I'm like, I'm a people's vision boards. People who want to be speakers. They look at me and they're kind of like, okay,

I can't sit all. I want, listen, I want to be making sure. I've got some of my mentees. Well, that's 17 from the end. I'm bringing them into particular rooms.

And I've always said to them, I want to make sure that, you know,

I've always said that I want to be there. I want to be there floor in it. I want to make sure that it's a damn high floor. I'm not there ceiling. But I want to be making sure that when they come,

when they're building off meat, it's the third floor. And I've always said this file. When you name drop my name. If someone says that they're mentored by a Haiti man in the records. When they name drop my name, that door's going to fly over.

And that is one of the things that is one of the reasons while I'm working the way that I'm working. You kind of dropped some of that Michelle Obama's name.

You kind of say Michelle Obama's my, your mentor. You kind of say this person's your Oprah Winfrey, or you say particular names in particular industries. And I think some people should be, should aim for that. Like your name should carry weight.

You say that storms easier. You're, you're, did it. Certain doors will open up for you if you start name drop in certain people. And I think that you, some people want to be the name dropers. They want, they don't want to be the name.

Yeah. Because to be the name, it carries, so heavy is the head that wears the crown. Yeah. It takes a lot to be the name. People find it easy.

And let me just name drop. Let me just be Stormy's friend. Let me just be Oprah Winfrey's PA. Let me just name drop the person.

And I've just kind of got, I never want to be the name droper.

I want to be the name. Yeah. I want to be the person that, by the grace of God. I'm the key. And I'm the person that is helping open up doors.

Yeah.

“And that's why I, you know, I've got to speak up.”

Yeah. And actually, talk, because this is that density you built for yourself. So how can somebody built, especially like when we, if we go to like Walfey. I can somebody go from that inner voice to Walfey identity and actually making sure this is what they built. They actually build that identity.

Not that they're, they're the person who, as I mentioned before, you know, they're brilliant. They can do things. They're not earning as much, but they now become the person that earns. Yeah.

How much that transformation? Habits. What's your habits? Habits.

I'll always say that success these clues.

Find the habits are very successful people. So some of the habits that I found about successful people is they are heavy readers. Yeah. So I had to get into reading from a very young age. Heavy readers.

Number two, they are heavy in their own fitness. And many successful people didn't play in their own fitness. Number three, they have some level of council. They either have a coach, they either have a mentor, they're people around them. One of my favorite books actually is Billion Dollar Coach by Billion Dollar Coach,

and it's by gosh, it's the guys who wrote the guys who oversee Google. And they, they broke the book. I can't forget the calm of the office name. It's free offers that wrote it. And they were all coached by Bill Campbell.

And Bill Campbell was also the guy who coached Steve Jobs. He was a person that also coached Steve Jobs over. He's one who also coached Bill Gates. He basically was the coach for the Silicon Valley legends. And that book changed my life because I basically said,

"God, I want to be the Bill Campbell of my generation." Like, I don't actually want to be the person who's just like the star. No, I want to be the person who's like coached and actually like helped raise up some of the icons coming from the UK or from the Middle East or from Africa, from the US, wherever they are.

And I understood that, you know, success leaves clues. So I started reading into Bill Campbell. I studied successful people. Habits leave clues, success leaves clues. So I will say find a person of study as well.

Study people who are doing well in your industry. What are they doing? What are they watching? Understand their psychology. What podcast they're listening to? Listen to their podcast.

What books are they reading? What music they're listening to? Like getting to their habits, like create that environment for yourself because I'm really big on greenhouse is, right? And what I mean by greenhouse is in terms of, you know,

“greenhouse is basically a climate within a climate, right?”

So if I want to basically, I'm half a gondon. So we have something called Matoké. Matoké is a green banana. And I know that I can't grow a Matoké in the UK because it's to have the soil on the climate.

It doesn't have the air. But a greenhouse you can, you can literally create a Ugandan climate within the UK. That's literally what a greenhouse is. You can create your own climate within a climate.

And I basically learn to create a climate within a climate. I was like, okay, I come from the end. I come from a single greenhouse hold. Okay, I come from a place where there's a lot of crime. There's a lot of gang.

There's a lot of violence. There's a lot of fraud. And I was like, hey, they create the greenhouse within the ends. And I basically created the greenhouse by studying all these people. What do all these successful people do?

What did they listen to? Where did they go? And I started putting myself in these events. When E.T. was speaking, when Tony Robbins speaking, I take myself to Tony Robbins, I take myself, I save up money,

go to these environments, meet new people, network. Because one of the reasons why I moved to Dubai. I moved to Dubai because I was just like, yeah, I want to put myself in another environment where I'm meeting people. It's has nothing to do with me being like,

I'll be becoming to the bank, making our money. But no, it had everything to do with my network. Had everything to do with expose myself to a new type of people.

And that's always what I've been doing from a young age.

I've been traveling. Even when I was 19, I moved myself to America for three months to work at Summer Camp, just so I could be in America. And so I could meet young people in America. And I still talk to some of the girls that I was there camp camp so now when I was 19.

This is honestly, like, I feel like something moving out. I wonder what's going on. I feel like it's always enjoyed the conversation so much. I feel like I can speak to you like for hours. I wanted to know from you, right?

So you talked about reading books a lot. You talked about proximity.

“What would you say are some of the key self talks yourself?”

I didn't see you had that's enabled you to. Now you said it's not even six figures.

your perspective. I definitely will say number one partnership and collaboration. So one thing I'm grateful for for is that I collaborated with

my husband who is an amazing business owner.

An amazing director. We are business partners. So my husband is very much on the CGO side. So he's the chief growth officer of the business. Obviously I'm the talent, but obviously I do quite a lot of

operations still, I do quite a lot of hate chest off because yeah, we got team. But yeah, there's still a lot that we balanced. Sterling's got his part and I've got my part. And I've understood that I can't cross sterling and

can't cross me, but we both need each other. Power of collaboration. We have a team of six. So even being able to have a team of six. So we have someone who oversees my social media.

We have someone who oversees my admin. We have someone who oversees my community. We have people who oversee my B to see. We have people who oversee my graphics. We have people who oversee my video content.

We've got different teams. I even have someone who's my protocol. So someone who only so literally she comes with me to events. So she literally comes with me for events. That she's kind of like my security in a way.

Which is my protocol. I've got different people for different parts of my team. And I can't do all of that. I can't do my admin. I need to let my admin do my admin.

Even though I'm good at admin, I start off in admin. I can do my social media content. But I've got to let people do my social media content. I can video edit it. But I need to let the video edit it.

“So you have to understand the power of collaboration.”

And you need to let people work their field. I work their place. Number two. Don't be afraid to also help. A lot of people have pride.

A lot of people have pride. One thing about me, you should know me. I'm a big friend. I'll beg. Like I'm very inquisitive.

My mom has always told me.

Even when it came to parents even in it, they always say, "Haley is very inquisitive." And that's how I learn what the word is. I ask miss, "Miss, what does inquisitive mean?" It means "Haley, you always ask questions."

Always be willing to ask questions. Always be willing to ask questions. Ask people for help. I'll say number three. It's something that people can do as I said.

Is you've got to learn the power of love. You've got to understand the power of boundaries. You have to understand the power of sacrifice. There's some things you cannot eat. There's some things you cannot do.

There's some places you cannot go. I'm not always outside. Even when I'm in Dubai, I'm the most anti-social person. Not because I think I'm better than anybody. Because I'm in my building face.

“And you have to understand patterns and seasons.”

There's some seasons where you will not be outside. There's some seasons where you have to sacrifice. There's some seasons where you have to say no. There's some seasons where you're going to have to be outside. There's some seasons where I'm outside networking.

When I first went to Dubai in 2023, I went there three months. Yeah. Because we didn't have our visa. So we went there for the three months period.

I was outside every single day in networking at her. Every single day for 90 days, I was outside. I was outside. I was outside. But now I'm in a season where I don't have to be outside every day.

Because I did that three years ago in 2023. So I find that for a lot of people. They basically don't understand pal seasons. They're certain your seasons. They're certain your seasons.

And I'll say lastly.

Prepare for your breakthrough.

Yeah. Have vision. Have a dream. Have something to work in towards. I think a lot of people as I said, they settle.

They settle. And I think what I'll end it here. I think I think about a lot of people. I get I get I speak to a lot of all the people. And I like to do interview type conversations.

I like to ask a lot of questions, inclusive. And one of the things that I find is a lot of people who. They're not. They get shocked by their life. But they understood is because they didn't take their life with two hands.

Pardon me. There's somebody who just sat in the passenger seat. And just let the car drive. Wow. They're when the car crashes.

They were like, oh my gosh. It's like that's when they wake up like, oh my gosh. That I should have taken. I should have taken control of the will. Yeah.

But you just sat there in the passenger seat. Just closed them by thinking that things were going to come to you. Thinking that things were just going to get better.

“That's why I came said like what I said earlier.”

Okay. You have a negative mindset. But that is going to keep your bank account negative. Mmm. That's the truth.

If you're passive rather than active. Things don't shift. Yeah. You have to be able to be reactive sometimes. You have to be able to understand that.

You've got a grab live with two hands. And I find that there's just a lot of people sometimes are too laid back. And then they get up. They get upset when something crashes. Then I'm like, oh my gosh, I didn't know how this got here.

I didn't know how to get it. No, you do know how you got there. That's the truth. Let me all do our responsibility. You have responsibility.

You've got a few responsible. You know how you got there. Yeah. And I find that there's a lot of people who are not willing to have those on this conversation yourself.

Maybe because I'm very self reflective. I do a lot of like self talk. Have a lot of conversations. I've done a lot. I'm very like, I think the word is introspective.

I think the word is like, I'm very much looking into myself a lot of times. And I have to because somewhat, I don't want to say necessarily a public figure. But I think when you have some level of, I don't know, exposure in the public area. Oh, public figure.

Oh, my eyes. Yeah. I guess when you have some level of kind of exposure to the public, you have to be a bit more conscious of what you say. Because you know, you don't want to trigger particular people.

I don't want people who come fight me about certain things. Leave today. I had to do something on my finger because someone's people are fighting me. I just said, please, it's on my team to leave.

“Sometimes you have to go back and forth with people.”

But then at the same time, it's not even that I just delete it to think it. I look back and I'm like, okay, what did I say that could have been wrong? Yeah. Well, did I say, oh, maybe I should have said this better? Oh, maybe I need to work.

So I even said delete this. I want to re upload it, but I'm going to work it better.

So I have to be somebody that's constantly always thinking that makes me sense.

Yeah. So, you know, like you said, you're going to divide you as a speaker. You've met so many people. I want to say no from you, right? Yeah.

That welfare density. What do you think that is, what does that look like to you? Confidence. Confidence in yourself. Yeah.

Confidence in your value. Confidence what you bring to the table. One of the things that we say is don't pray to be at, don't pray to be at table and you don't know where you're there. Yeah.

You'll be a liability. Hmm. Yeah. Why you at the table? And your question in, I'm going to go ask whatever.

I literally have one of my favorite chapters actually in this book. Is actually you are not in a poster. Yeah. And it basically is basically, I'm actually reading it. Sorry.

I've actually got it. Go check to three. Um, it's one of my favorite things. It's one of, it starts with a quote that I really, really love. Um, Michelle Obama.

Okay. You can be the most qualified people in the room. And still, you can be the most qualified person in the room. And still feel like you don't belong. That doesn't make your fraud.

It makes you human. Hmm.

And I love this, this, this chapter I was basically talking about.

The fact that, you know, you're not in a poster. And when you start to accept that you are in a poster, you will start getting into rooms and you'll start questioning why you're there. Yeah. And even though it makes you human, it still doesn't mean it's right.

“You have to understand that your mind can lie to you.”

And you have to learn to reframe your mind. You have to learn to reframe the voice and the things you are telling yourself. And you're not in a poster. Yeah. And you have to basically be confident in yourself.

I only see don't believe that competence is the reason why people are rich. There's something that Lameda Elizabeth said, which is true. And she said that, um, these students are hiring age students. (laughs) I is true.

People drop out. Drop out. You don't have to see drop out. Yeah, I'll be somewhere there about billions. And it has nothing to do with the fact that it's competent.

It has everything to do with the fact that they're confident. Hmm. There's a lot of people. I'll be honest there's a lot. I have a lot of, I know a lot of Muslims in this.

I know I know actually quite a few billionaires. And they are normal human beings. Hmm. But they are confident in what they bring to the table. Hmm.

What? Especially that my billionaire people. They know what they are doing. Yeah. And they are focused on what they are meant to do.

They're not trying to do 100 things. They're like, this is my lane. And I'm going to be a beast that I'm going to be the best at it. And I find that there's a lot of people who, as I said, they're not confident in what they bring to the table.

Yeah. And you just have to be confident. Yeah. And actually, I want to ask you this question, right? Yeah.

“Because I think this is important, right?”

I told you that I was looking at YouTube channel and I saw that you as a young person, you know, speaking in a room. You know, use a young black girl, speaking in a room. Probably full of, you know, older, white people, right? Hmm.

How did you make that difference work for you? They're humans. They're humans. Yeah.

I think a lot of people always think about the difference.

But a lot of people don't see the similarity. Hmm. We all have life. We all have breath. We have mental health.

We will have grief. Exactly. We will have emotions. Okay. You're white.

You're Asian. I'm black. So, we've all cried at one point. We all experienced pain at one point. Hmm.

We've all had to say, I love your one point. We all had to do something. We don't want to do at one point. So, I find this in the similarity. I don't focus on our differences.

I focus on why we make, may actually be the same. I think that's where I've, that's been the foundation of my career. Yeah. And I think it's why you've been that successful. I was like, honestly, like, when I saw that,

wow, like, you're killed. You know, sometimes when somebody's doing something young and they're so confident in themselves. And you're like, wow, like you don't even, like, looking back. You don't even know how you, like, how you are.

Tell the people you don't know on the outside. Honestly, I was like, wow, like, this is crazy. I think people limit themselves a lot. And like you say, it's all in their mind. During this conversation, drop a comment with your favorite moment.

Give this video a like and hit subscribe. So you don't miss future episodes. Fence will be in part of the journey. We've got plenty more valuable conversations coming your way. So I wanted to talk about this right.

How important is personal branding today when it comes to opportunity in common? And other people move past the fear of being judged when they start building an online presence? You are too broken to not be visible. Visibility is everything in this world.

Visibility is a currency. Whether people like it or not, visibility is a currency. When you think about particular people in terms of, Okay, I will do this quick game with you. When you think about Chris Jenner, what known do you think?

What?

What name? Chris Jenner. What do you think, Rayway? Like known very well known. Mogul.

Yeah. Right. When you think, I see what you think. I fried chicken. Chicken.

Right.

“When you think, Richard Branson, what do you think?”

There's an association for all of these people. Yeah. But if I come to say, what do you think about Tom Taka? You don't know him. Yeah.

You don't know him. Yeah. And that is what happens. The pal personal brand is a pal association. As soon as somebody thinks,

Virgin, Richard Branson, as soon as someone thinks Kardashian, Chris Jenner. As soon as someone thinks speaking, Hayley Melender. As soon as you basically put particular names out there, you basically now associate that thing. The reason I'm booked in busy and area speaking is because I've been the most visible speaker.

I'm not the best speaker. Hmm. I'm not the best speaker. I'm the most visible speaker. I'm the most visible speaker from the UK.

I don't even live here anymore. And I still get called back to the UK. Hmm. I hope I challenge speakers to be more visible. I'll wait.

Comment below what a speaker that is more visible than me. And I'm not cookie. I don't know. Not in the UK. I don't know.

Hmm. I have a whole talk. Talking about your two-brotinal to be visible. I have to double down visibility. And it's kind of like,

it's like, it's like, it's like all these, it's like you same bowl. Listen. He knew. No, I was going to touch me in terms of that world record.

He understood that listen. If I want to be the best I've got to basically go for the world record. And personal branding is everything. You basically, one thing about personal branding for you same bowl. He done this at the end of the thing.

That became his brand.

“Like, that's what basically branding is.”

Is you do something that you never come known for.

So now everyone was doing this when they saw you same bowl. Because it became part of his brand. Right? Shelley and Fraser. Her hair.

Part of her brand. Ever. You do not know the crazy thing about Shelley and Fraser. I love Shelley and people didn't just wait. People weren't just waiting for her to run.

People weren't see what her share is going to do. Hmm. People are always looking for what is Shelley and her style going to be. Because she always used to come up. When it came to her races, she always would come up with particular hair styles.

That was her brand. Yeah. So there was now now when you think about it. If a hair brand wants to give Shelley and her six figure. They're going to Shelley and if they're like, "Oh, we need to find an athlete.

We need to find a personal brand. That we can give a six figure. Think you two. We're going to do that." Or someone's like, "Okay, we need a particular gear.

We're going to give you the same bowl." So you can pose like this and again. It doesn't make any sense. Personal branding basically allows you to have a certain level of like, "Genesis quite. It allows you to basically stand out in a world that has a lot of noise."

That visibility basically cuts things through. And I'm just very big on like, you have nothing to lose by me visible. Yeah. People's lives have changed because of visibility. Look at Kaisana.

You think his life has been this? Do you think Kaisana's life has been the same since he's basically started dreaming? Nope. Different. Look at Driski.

Guys, make and comedy. Every MrBeast. All of these people.

“Guys, the only thing that they did differently to you is they decided to double down visibility.”

That's the only thing. Kaisana basically said I'm going to stream every day. Speed, basically said I'm going to stream. So the MrBeast. All of these people they said I'm just going to be visible.

From the sideline to the care size. All they said is I'm going to be visible. Chunks. Visible. Nella.

Visible. Yeah. Because I don't want to feel because I can think about what a British people. Maramusa. Visibility.

Adiola Petron. Visibility. These are all the people that just said I'm going to be visible. I'm going to pick up the mic. Pick up camera.

I'm going to start filming. Yeah. Patricia Bright. Visibility. These are all the people that base it said.

I am willing to be visible and look at their careers now. Look at what they're doing now.

Visibility is always going to make you stand out amongst the noise.

And how can people ignore that noise then of caring about what they're focusing on. Don't compare. Comparison will drown you. Folks in your message.

Folks in yourself. I'm not watching other people. I'm not watching other people. If I'm ever watching someone else because I'm studying them. That's what I'm doing.

I don't watch other people to compare. I watched them to study. So I'm always looking at people. They said that. Oh, I need to.

Oh, they got that camera. That's what I do. I study. I study. I learn to take lessons from everyone who is great.

Yeah. And I listen. I don't tell the other big friend. When I think someone doing great. What's that two of them?

I'll give you your flowers. I've been like, yo, you done this. I didn't like, did it like. At least I speak to my mum so this morning.

I was like, sis, you were doing amazing.

Like, I would pick up your ting. I'm not that type of person. Who will ever like, what she silently know. I'll be in your comments. Yes, sis.

Woo, warm bro. Like, I'm that type of person because at the end of the day. It doesn't matter how big the platform is. It doesn't matter how visible you are. I can't speak for myself.

We're human beings. We're all going to need some level of affirmation. And just kind of remind of like, oh, yeah, we're doing our ting. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

It's important.

“So actually, do you mention that you and your husband do business, right?”

What would you say? What's one boundary or habit you've both put in place? That's really helped protect the relationship as life and work. Get busier. Prior.

Okay. Simple man. Prior. Me and my husband pro a lot. Hmm.

We pro a lot. And the reason why I say that is simply because of the fact that it's not the power that's not my match spot. It's what I've got. And if you believe your court of business, there is no way that you can go to the business

this mountain and you don't have the God who is in your business. Back in year. Prior. I'll say number two is communication as well. Communication.

We talk a lot. Me and my husband were very good friends. Companions. Yes. We love us.

But we are good friends. Yeah. And we learn to communicate very quickly how to navigate things and air of business. So there's that.

“And I'll say number three as well is it's not that deep.”

Yeah. I love it.

Like it would never be me that would be my marriage because of business.

Yeah. It's not a deep. If I need shot on the business, I will. I'm not that tough person. Like oh yeah, the business would not know.

If my marriage and my marriage is just good by the way guys don't worry. But if my marriage was really on the rocks. Yeah. And it was like my business was. No.

I'll shut it down. And that's what it should be. A lot of people are not thinking like that. They're like, oh, it's going to be the career. It's going to be the business first over their relationships.

Over people who've been in their lives for for how long. I mean, it's not to bring that recent news. But guys, the Beckham's. Yeah. That's a successful family.

Yeah. Brooklyn came to the internet and basically said, yeah. Look on my parents. Prince Harry fighting the royal family. It's not to bring up the guys.

Look at these celebrity kids. Yeah. Because you're not talking about a career career career. David Beckham is one of the most successful footballers that came from this country. But he's sun went to the internet and altered their business.

Yeah. So who cares about the career? Who cares about the business? Who cares? Because what happens is that your children are not watching you for your success.

Yeah. They're watching you for your integrity. And I pray that that's something that my future children will see from me on my husband. Yeah. They're not going to watch me from on the side.

And I've seen that. I've seen that. Maybe because of fact that I've been in ministry. I've seen a lot of pastors. I've seen a lot of my friends that are pastors kids.

And some of them are broken direct because they saw so many things in the area of church. They saw big ministers doing great things. And behind the scenes or something else. And it messes up people. Yeah.

It messes up people. Integrity is everything. And for me, I'm just big on something that my husband has been on. Very big on. The things you see on our online, we are more lovely.

Double offline. Like, yes, never going to be that my marriage is for show or anything like that. Like, yeah, we have podcasts and you have a kind of somewhat public public about certain things. But one of the things that we have always said is our offline life. And our offline life will always be better than what you see on the internet.

Yeah. So if you'd like what you see on the internet, trust me. It's 10 times better for that. And that's how it should be. And how it should be.

And how it will stay. Yeah. Amen. Amen. So I wanted to talk about your book, right?

So what's one mindset shift from your book, Speak up that people need to adopt right now to stop hiding their value and start getting a recognition and income they deserve? Oh, this is so good. I literally actually have a chapter called Your Voices with the Invoice.

Okay. And I basically talk about how a lot of people are very scared of charging for value.

And I always say like a plumber will never come and fix your toilet and basically be like,

Oh, you know what, I just did for free. Because he knows that he fixed income in convenience. You need him. You need him to fix your toilet. And your voice can also do the same thing in terms of unblocking someone's destiny.

Unblocking someone in terms of their stagnancy and a job segment scene terms of there. They're, they're, they're career. I think because it's a voice, you don't necessarily see the impact. But voices do the exact same thing that plumbers do, but more on it and emotional spiritual and mental notes.

And it's worth the invoice. So if the plummer can get paid, so can you. Yeah.

“And I think you have to basically, as a so perceived value,”

change the way you value your voice, change the way you perceive your voice. Change the way you see yourself. And I think when you change the way you see yourself, you know, there's something that I learned very early on. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

And perspective is everything. Don't just walk by eyesight, walk by insight. And I'm very big on walk by insight. You know, have that vision for yourself. You know, want more for yourself.

Yeah. I'm amazing. Thank you so much, Ali. Honestly, like I said, I can speak to you for hours. Really, this conversation has really been so inspiring.

And thank you so much for sharing some of the vulnerable stories. Even though, like, I know you talk, you know, a lot about some of your personal stories.

It's not always easy to revisit in some, you know, places in the past as well.

But, again, really appreciate you sharing your stories. Appreciate you really just like sharing all the tips and tricks that really help people. Not just show up better, but also show up better in their lives as well. And hopefully be able to, like, move to the dark. And I'm also wishing you very well with the book.

And I'm really, even for me, you know, I think I might have said this on the podcast book.

Even though I do the podcast, I'm a bit of an intro, slightly. So this, this book is going to help me, like, break out my shell a little bit more.

“Because I do believe in what you're saying in terms of speak up, I think it is important for us to speak up.”

And speak up in an age where we have to internet. And the internet is able to do this, right? In this day and age, right, where you can change your life. My wife will show me somebody on TikTok. I don't remember my name. I'll talk to you about offline, right?

But she now lives in LA apparently she started off in, I think it was Kenya.

Oh, wow. Just started doing TikTok. Yeah, I started doing TikTok. So famous now she's living in LA. I think I knew.

It might be that name. Yeah, she just showed me just changed her life. Literally, there's a ability. She's one year. I know you're talking about that. Exactly. There's ability. She's just visible.

Exactly. And this is the thing. This is the power of it. You know, it's so, so, so important. So people can really do it.

“Where can people find you if they want to connect to you?”

Find me everywhere, Haley, Melinda. I hate to wear L.Y. M. U. L. E. N. D. A. And yeah, on Amazon, Waterstones, Barnes & Noble, foils, you can get speak up by Haley Melinda records here.

Amazing. Thank you so much, Haley.

Thanks. Therefore, I want to do part 3 in future. Do you have any final words for what you're in this is? You don't get the life you want. You get the life you set up for. Stop settling. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

“Really appreciate your future on podcast.”

Thank you for tuning into this week's episode. See you next week's episode. Share your favourite part in the comments, tap the like button and subscribe to the channel. Your support is really appreciate it. And keep working hard to bring you more valuable conversations.

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