How To Break Toxic Patterns, Heal Childhood Wounds, Rewire Self-Worth, & Unlock True Abundance Ft. Danny Morel

Welcome to The Bostics.

I had our team listen to this episode and they were blown away.

They couldn't believe how insane this episode was. There was so many takeaways that they got out of this episode and I was so happy that they felt the same way that I felt. Because this episode kind of blew my mind. Danny Morrell, he's an entrepreneur, turned spiritual guide who's helped thousands to achieve true abundance. And we're talking abundance in finance, relationships, health, friendships.

And he tells you how to get there in this episode. Get ready, Danny, welcome to The Bostics. A lot of people, they understand self-worth and they understand the concept of self-worth.

But they don't know how to actually have self-worth.

How would you explain that to someone who's listening? Yeah, I think the thing that keeps them disconnected from having self-worth is that they think that self-worth is something to attain, achieve or become. And self-worth is what you were born as from the moment that you were born. We're all created in the image of the divine.

“And that's part of our spiritual journey actually, is to remember that.”

To remember that we were born perfect, magnificent, full of love. And the world is the thing that kind of shows us that in order to feel valuable or beautiful or worthy, we got to go get it out there. So I would say that if the more that you spend time with yourself, the more that you spend time away from the phone, the more that you spend time in stillness with yourself, eventually that will just culminate and become a part of who you are. In practice, what does that look like for you? What do you do to achieve that state of mind?

That's a beautiful question because I don't know, you know, so let's go into this. So there's masculine and feminine and masculine is all about doing. And feminine is just about being and allowing. And all of us, since we were born from a mother and a father, we're both masculine and feminine. Most of us, however, spend most of our time in our masculine. We're trying to get somewhere to do something or achieve something.

And a big part of that is because when we were children, we were shown typically by our mothers and fathers that being in our heart, being in our feminine wasn't safe. And so we are all carrying around these wounds and these wounds have been passed down, like generation before generation. And so I don't know that it's something that you necessarily have to achieve. I think it's something that you embody. And that the way that you embody it is by actually going deep within yourself through spiritual experiences.

So what happened for me was my mother passed away and I started asking myself questions about my life. Are you happy? And I knew the answer was no. Are you in love? And at the time I was married for 13 years and I knew the answer was no. And do you love what you do? And again, I knew the answer was no.

And so I had it all. I had a successful business, a billion dollars in annual sales, the beautiful house, the beautiful cars.

And all of a sudden, I'm having this moment where everything that I thought I needed to go out and get to make me happy, didn't fulfill me or make me happy.

“And that's what started my spiritual journey.”

It's so funny because we get to talk to higher achievers on this show a lot. And this theme is starting to present a lot more where you hear from people like yourself that have really reached the top of the peak from a productivity or from material success standpoint. And the common theme that we've been going through the last few months of these people is that that's not the answer. And it's not where they're fulfilled. Yeah, it's because on the deepest parts of ourselves were all energy.

And the energy of ambition, as an example, it's typically connected to a wound. And I say that because if you could think of obviously life today, you know, we're here in Austin. We're around busy traffic, we're around buildings, we're really disconnected from nature. And if you think back just 60 years ago, which is not that long ago, like life was really different. It was just us some horses, you know, okay, maybe 100 years ago us some horses.

It's where you were, right?

“I remember in Texas it was probably a lot like that.”

That's right. And so we were way more grounded. Our shoes were off. We'd walk around with nature. We'd connect what happens is through our mother and father. When we do not receive the love that we're looking for from them,

we start to unconsciously believe that there's something wrong with us. And then when we get old enough, we unconsciously create the story that says, you know, I know what I'm going to go do.

I'm going to find it in achievement.

And that's where life brings you face to face with the reality is that you can reach like the heights of the heights of success.

But if you've been doing it from a lower vibrational energy,

“you're never going to be fulfilled. And I think that's what's happening.”

People are starting to wake up to that fact that like something still, something's still off. It's so funny, the happiest part of my day so far. No offense, guys. It's when I was taking a nature walk this morning with my son, strapped to me.

And it's, you're right. It is, it's like going back to the simpler things. How do people get out of a low vibration? Well, I can, I can only, I can only share the real answer. It might be the uncomfortable answer. But first, let's start with like the concept of energy.

At the lowest of the low, the lowest energy that a human being can live in, which by the way, everything is energy. Everything is energy is shame. And just above it is guilt. And the difference between the two just to start is guilt, thinks, and feels, I did something wrong.

But when we live in shame, we think and feel I am wrong. Think about that. That's really powerful because the words I am or the words of creation. And so when we are vibrating at these levels, and when we are resistance to our past and we're judging it and we're making it wrong, and we wish it could have been different, all of that is the opposite of our essence, all that is the opposite of love.

And so what happened for me as I started asking these questions is, I used to really judge plant medicine.

“I was one of those guys, I judged Ayahuasca, I judged mushrooms, I used to say, that's like the evil stuff, that's bad, right?”

The problem is I was going nowhere in life really fast.

And so I thought to myself, instead of judging it, instead of believing what other people think, why don't I go discover it for myself? And that's what changed my life. Because it starts to unlock these parts of you, like we described in the book. And those are the parts of you that can only be unlocked through spiritual experience.

And human beings can experience that through meditation, which if we're honest for most of us, it's hard because our minds are moving so fast. So then what I give people access to is breath work, which that causes you to have a profound spiritual experience. And then the next layer on top of that is the plant medicine. And each of these experiences, you connect to the other side.

And they start to literally remove from you a lot of these things that you've been holding on to since you were a child. What was your experience with plant medicine that changed everything for you? Well, the first was the scariest experience of my life, because the medicine just reflects back to you, what's inside of you. So for me, I had lived my whole life from the energy of control. I needed to control everything, because I was afraid.

And the more that I controlled, the more that I felt safe.

“And yet the truth is, is that fear controls and love allows.”

Elaborate on what you were controlling, because I think a lot of people live this way, and I for sure have lived this way, and maybe still do it times. What does that mean to you when you say you needed to control? Yeah, I mean, I controlled my narrative, I controlled what people thought of me, I controlled how I looked. I controlled everything from the outside in. You know, it's funny to say that there's like you really aren't in control of any of those things.

You absolutely aren't. And it's actually the opposite of our essence and who we are. But then I'd like to get into like why that happened. So when you start to connect the dots in this work, you start to realize that everything that we deal with comes from at its root. Our mother and father.

So for my story, for example, my mom's mom died when she was only 13 days old.

So think about that as a little girl, my mom never received love.

She never received love from her mother. So that's a frequency that's maternal love. Well, then it was impossible for her to give to me. And it's impossible for all of us to give to another what we don't have within ourselves. And so my mom had a really difficult time telling me, like, I love you.

I knew she did, but it was like awkward. My dad's dad this owned him because my dad was a product of an affair. And so my dad never had that masculine energy that leadership and guidance in his life. So he wasn't present for me. He didn't know how to guide me. Lead me. He was really uncomfortable around me.

So think about that. As a little boy or a little girl, we are born into this world. And we are picking up on the vibrations of what's happening with our mom and dad. And based off of how they look at us, how they feel, how they interact with each other, we are unconsciously downloading a story about what we think life is.

That's why this work is so beautiful because he changes you from the inside out really.

How can we be our highest self in front of our children? By being your most authentic self. But what if the authentic self is you're fighting with your significant other?

“Then that's, then that's part of it. Yeah, you see, remember what I said. I said fear controls and love allows, right?”

What I realized in my life and what we get to realize in our lives is like where I once judged what happened with my mom and dad is like bad or I wish they would have been different. I entered into the energy of acceptance and that's what changed my life. I let go of the resistance. I allowed it all to be perfect. And then when I did that, guess what happened? Because I used to beat myself up over my divorce.

I had an affair. I used to beat myself up over all of that stuff. And I started to realize like maybe just maybe the same way that like I see everything as perfect in my life because it made me who I am today.

Then maybe it's the same for my kids as well.

And so all of that resistance that I had let go and the craziest thing happened when I just let go. And I was okay with life being life. It's like our love started to deepen because instead of hiding from it, I would just talk to them about it. And I think they appreciated that the most. Yeah, the weirdest thing for me personally, I don't want to speak for Lauren, about becoming a parent is you have this kind of immediate moment of looking at your parents as young parents.

That's right. And you start to realize if you've held resentment or anger, you wish they did something different. Like my mom had me when she was in her young 20s. And my dad had me when he was late 40s after being kind of like a single guy. And there's no both of them had up rings where parents were gone and they were out.

So like they didn't have as much similar to what the story you've told me. I don't want to put my parents too much on the spot. But when you look at it from that land, you're like, oh, they were just kind of figuring it out themselves. They didn't have the tool. And I look at it now.

Like I have more tools than even they had because they were able to take some of the things that weren't great and kind of improved upon.

“And I think that's the responsibility of any evolving adult as you evolve.”

Absolutely. And go backwards. But when I look at them like that now, I don't have any anger or resentment because I'm just like those were the circumstances they were in. And it's a really freeing position to be in because you humanizes your parents.

My favorite thing to do to my kids is say, this is my first time doing this, you know, so like I'll say that to my daughter.

I'll say this is my first time doing it. It's not like we like took a course and read a handbook and at least I didn't. I didn't. I don't think it's my daughter all the time. I tell my daughter all the time.

I said, thank you for making me a daddy because like she was, it's the first time, right? Yeah. But to your point, a lot of people I think have deep resentment for their parents if they had a rough childhood. And when we start, you know what you said about when you become a parent, you see them as like first time parents as well. Here's the really beautiful thing is that when you start the healing journey, you see them as kids.

And what happens there is this is when your life changes forever. You start to see that whatever they did to you, right? Was done to them. It may be worse. This is why my favorite meditation in the world is all the time on this podcast because it's changed my life.

This Louise Hayes night time meditation. She says imagine your child, your parents is a little child of sex. And when you start imagining that, you're like, whoa, it's like, it's like mind blowing. That's right. You have empathy.

That's right. That's right. And when you have empathy, your heart starts to open. And like this is the greatest message I can give anybody is that like your life, your money, your relationships. Your relationships, even your health is a reflection of the energy that you have been carrying towards your mother and father.

Literally. The amount that you make or don't make, why you make it or don't make it. How hard you have to work at it. How hard you have to work in your relationships. All of it is a vibrational match that you are creating as a result of the relationship with your mom and dad.

And so when you start to have empathy and you let go of the resistance and in my work, I have idea with some pretty gnarly things with some parents that have done the worse you can imagine to their kids. And even that we've been able to heal the energy of through the breath work. For someone who's listening and they feel like they've done something so bad as a parent. Yeah.

“What are when you say the worst thing a parent has ever done?”

What does that mean? Because I think that you talking about this will release, give some people some relief. You want like an example? Sure. Okay. Well, one of the things that we deal with the most and the reason why we deal with it is because we want to help people here heal their masculine and their feminine,

But the only way that you can actually do that is to go in and face the things that maybe you once were afraid to face.

And so when you talk about the worst of the worst, I have helped several women whose dads and grandparents actually abuse them. Yeah. If you can imagine the confusion that a little girl, by the way, and little boys face in that. When the people that were supposed to protect them hurt them, that's pretty rough. And there's a way to heal from it.

But none of it, and this I will say, the reason why included the breath work in the book was because, you know, we want knowledge right now. We want answers. So we're busy, like, what's the next book? What's the next podcast? What's the next Instagram post?

And the magic isn't in the knowledge. The knowledge only hits us here. The magic is in here. And this is what we're all disconnected from is our feminine, our emotions, and feeling what we've been afraid to feel.

“And are even when you say disconnected from your feminine, obviously a lot of men, or is this with women too?”

100%. You can be man or woman and you're disconnected from masculine and your feminine. On your own, generally. Absolutely. And this is not a gender thing.

This is an energy thing. So if you think about a battery, a battery has a positive and a negative, right? Think about the day, the day has the beginning and the end. Think about the water and fire. Think about all of life if you really think about it is one and the other.

In other words, for one to exist, the other must exist. So within you, the way that your life was created, literally, was by the masculine, entering, and the feminine allowing. And that's what creates your life. And the reason why it keeps saying like the key is your mom and dad and healing that is because when you harbor negative energy and negative emotions with the people that gave you life, you unconsciously harbor negative emotions to life itself.

“And that's why people are unconsciously attracting a lot of the issues that they're attracting.”

And so when you heal the inside, you heal the outside. If you are someone that had a bad relationship with your dad, there's also an energy where maybe you're energetically not as receptive to men. And I speak for my own energy is that like, you know, I had maybe some feelings when I was younger about my mom. And I noticed that I even had like energy towards other women. And I had to like really look at that negative way.

I just like, I felt like, you know, you know, better relationships with men. Yes, and I think I have better relationships with men. And that's interesting to say because a lot of the people, a lot of our audience is women. Yeah.

I love women.

“But I think that I had a more complex, complicated relationship with women because of my relationship with my mom.”

And I realized when I've done the meditation that you're saying about seeing her as a child, it's released a lot of that. So that's so interesting.

I've never heard anyone articulate it.

Well, it's, it's all connected. And the reason why you had more complicated relationships with women is because of the connection to the mother and all of it is the connection to the feminine. So in other words, when you have, I want to say it this way, when you have a difficult relationship with your mother, the mother teaches you you. The safety andworthiness within yourself because it is literally the first relationship that you have so much so that when we're children, we don't even realize we're separate because we come from the mother.

Yeah. When you have a difficult relationship with your father, you typically have different difficult relationships with others. Mother is you father is others. What happened what happened in your case is that the women that were in your life at that time were mirroring the woundings that were in your heart as a result of feeling what you felt with your mom. They're just a mirror. And you know what's so crazy is that it was so much more complex for me to have a daughter than a son.

Like a son to me was like, I got this. Like I got it. Like no big deal. The daughter was like totally different. Well, and not in a bad way, it was just more complex and complicated. Yeah, and that's why she came.

First, she came to heal that wound in you.

So interesting. You called her in. You literally called in the perfect partner to perfect the perfect energy to have the perfect child that that probably needed to come in both of your lives.

So now what happens is there's kind of no excuse right because this little being you love more than life itself.

So life and God like causes you to like to face your shit basically is who's web through our kids.

“And that's why it's all so beautiful and so perfect.”

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Wayfair, every style, every home. I know you work with people on their relationships too. If you're somebody who keeps attracting a certain kind of partner, and it's the wrong kind of partner, it's the wrong kind of patterning. What is that? Yeah, so that's a reflection of the wounded part of you.

“If you hear anything from this podcast, I want you to understand that life is not happening to you.”

You are not a victim to life. Life is happening for you. In other words, whenever something keeps happening, it's life trying to say, "Hey, look, there's something going on inside."

The problem is we haven't been giving these tools to be able to understand it that way.

So we keep beating ourselves up. Like, I keep attracting the same people. Why do you keep attracting the same people? You keep attracting the same people because somewhere along the lines, you created a story. I'll give you a perfect example. A woman that was wounded by her father

and learned that she cannot trust the masculine. And there's different degrees of that wounding, by the way. Create a story that says, "I will never trust the masculine ever again." It's probably why she works as hard as she does. It's probably why she can't turn off her mind.

It's probably why she has anxiety. Why? Because that's not the natural state of the woman. The woman is the heart.

And so when she decides, I will never trust the man ever again.

The only man, please hear me, that she can attract, is a man that is not in his power. Why? Because that man, she can control and she can overpower. She can sometimes even shut up, right? And that's the only way she feels safe.

So what we help couples to do, literally, if you look at it this way, it's like, this is the woman and she's in the masculine. And this is the man he's in the feminine. There's normally what happens. We help people energetically recalibrate, which is the scariest thing for a woman to have happened.

Because she's got to go into that little girl that once declared, I will never allow myself to trust the man.

I will never allow myself to receive from a man.

I will never allow myself to be protected from a man. I will protect myself. And now, she's got to be willing and able to do that to literally allow the feminine him to rise. And then that's when you start getting beautiful balance harmonically. And what's going on with the guy where he attracts a woman.

Yeah, because he wants to do the opposite. So let's say that same dynamic where there's a guy that's way too in his feminine and he attracts a woman who's really in her masculine and he's being controlled and he's not standing in his power and he's basically not, you know, being sharing his boy. What happens with that kind of guy? Well, that was me and my first marriage, by the way.

“And so what happens with that guy, the reason why that happens is the rule of thumb in life is everything is polarity.”

Everything is one or the other. So based off of the energy that you're living in, you attract the opposite vibrational match to that energy. If not, there's no attraction that it can't happen.

And so he's looking for that love and the only way that he knows how to interact with love is to constantly please and so constantly bypass himself and so constantly not speak his truth. Which, by the way, is the exact opposite of what the woman needs to be in her feminine

“because the truth is the only thing that can allow real love to exist.”

What if the opposite is happening where the female is constantly trying to please the male? It's all the same thing. The female didn't get love for the father, since she's trying to, this is getting very edipest. Can you? No, but it's interesting.

But because of this, and I have two younger sisters and now a daughter and I, you know, one of my sisters is happily married and I love her husband and all that. But what I, you know, I was an older brother talking, you know, you would see if they date who I just, some shit head, right? Yeah. And you would, you know, be concerned about it and then like the pattern repeating you date a similar kind of guy. You're sitting there scratching your head like, why do you keep going after this bozo?

What's going on here? Yeah. And vice versa, you know, like sometimes I see, you know, guys and they'll attract somebody that's just not good for them. So I just wonder. Yeah, and I'm going to tell you, and this, and people sometimes hear this and they go, but my parents were great.

We don't understand how powerful this is.

It's like your parents could have slightly favored your sibling. Your parents could have slightly put pressure on you to perform in sports. And you unconsciously create these stories that ultimately believe I'm not enough. That's the deepest wound. I can't wait for your parents to fix it. This is my own opinion. And this is, and I think you're getting to this.

“It's like you have to take accountability for your own life and you have to, I think this is how I've dealt with my own stuff.”

Instead of playing the victim, you have to let it inform you. Well, that's, that's where we go deep in the book is that there are two forms of consciousness. There is fear and there is love. And this is, this is where the rubber meets the road. The tool that fear uses is separation. Meaning, I am separate from my pain. I'm separate from life.

I'm separate from everything that is happening to me. Follow me. This is going to be controversial. Because one of the things that I teach people is there's no such thing as a narcissist. And I know, don't hate me, but I won't explain this real fast. What happens right underneath fear and separation is we are unconsciously. We don't wake up and decide, you know today, I'm going to be in victim energy.

No, but you're in victim energy. With victim energy, ultimately says is, is that everything is happening to me. My power is outsourced to out there. Yeah? And right underneath victim energy is pain. So in the case of a narcissistic relationship, for example, what we unconsciously do is we label our pain.

We put it, we stuff it into this little box called narcissus. And then we go there. It's going to stay out there. And they were the root cause of all of my problems and all of my issues.

“And they're the reason why my life is that way.”

And then to validate that pain, we go join like the narcissist anonymous coaching club. Because we want to have that pain validated, right? Now look at the difference. When you talk about love, there's no separation, there's oneness. This is huge. This is literally understanding that that pain, I'm not separate from it.

And even that ex that I hate, that I despise, that I wish I never met, I'm not separate from it.

As a matter of fact, I am one with him or her. And when we go underneath oneness, we leave victim energy and we enter creator energy. Where we once went, it's out there and I can't believe that happened to me. This is, this is the key. We go, wait a minute, maybe my soul created this.

Maybe I called in the perfect partner to show to me the parts of me that weren't aligned. That were bypassing myself, that saw the red flags, but buried them because I wanted to be with someone so bad. And underneath creator energy where there was pain, there's freedom. And when you live in freedom, that's when you get to turn to the person that you once called a narcissist. By the way, whether you like it or not, that's causing you energetic friction in your soul.

You now get to say thank you because it was hard, but you taught me one of my life's greatest lessons.

And if it wasn't for you, I would have never realized all that I am and all that I never want.

So maybe just maybe instead of hating you, I get to love you and now I get to release you. And now you're free. And so I goes back to everything's happening for you.

So when someone comes to work with you, what if they say no, no, Danny, you don't get it.

Like my trauma is so much worse than yours. You don't get it. I've had a worse thing. And I'm sure you hear that a lot. People will come and say, okay, I've heard that, but mine's so much worse.

So I really am a victim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are we in resistance or allowance? Well, are we at request for coaching? Absolutely.

“I think that some people are not at request for coaching.”

But if they're coming to you, I guess they are. The whole name of the game is like, are you in, are you resisting or are you allowing? Because, and I want to speak to illness, for example.

Because this is what causes a lot of human beings fear.

Like why do people die of cancer? Why do they get autoimmune diseases? And I can only say this guy literally help people heal autoimmune diseases. And I want to reframe this. That wasn't anything that I did.

It's what they did. It's what I just showed them how to access within themselves and release within themselves. Yeah. But all as disease and all these medications are is the body showing you. There's something going on in here that you have an allowed yourself to access.

Yeah. And the final thought, brother, is, you know, that's the greatest trick of the ego. The greatest trick of the ego, the way the ego keeps you like this, is to make you think that your trauma is worse. But trauma is trauma.

And when you allow that, you start to realize that we've all experienced very similar things.

Yeah. And I think what's also interesting about talking to a lot of people is the mind, doesn't know how to kind of give, like the worst trauma that's happened to you is the worst trauma that's happened to you. That's like, I could have lost a dog. You could have lost a parent.

I could say me losing a dog is just as bad as you think. People in the outside be like, no, no, it's not the same thing. But the way it feels to the person.

“If that's the worst thing that they've experienced, it's the worse until something worse happens, right?”

And I give you an example. Sure. So one of my clients is a woman who was raped by her father. And successful business, hardworking doesn't rest a day of her life. You understand, this is like a neurotic.

This is like a go-go-go-go, go-go. Well, whenever you're go-go, you're actually avoiding avoiding. Yeah, attracts a partner. A partner that was also, if you think about it, like, in this particular case, not in all case, but in this particular case, he was much older, and she was constantly just trying to play the role of the prey.

Unconsciously and energetically, because that's what she associated attention with. What does that mean? Well, she associated attention because the only time that she would receive attention from her father, in this case, was when that interaction would happen. So in other words, when the sharks is very, very deep and very dark,

but I want to show you the light at the end of the tunnel. So it starts to happen. Remember what I said? You are growing up and you are creating the story about life based off of what you're experiencing with your mom and dad. So if all she knows is to be the prey, then what she's going to attract, something to keep her in that.

That's right. And so she attracted someone that would manipulate and control her a bit. That she thought was masculine. Why? I asked her to say, "What is masculine to you? Provider ship and protectorship?"

And I want to challenge that. I want to say that that is an outcome, but real masculine is truth. Real masculine is essence. Real masculine is holding. Real masculine is providing.

The energetic guardrails for the feminine to release and express whatever she needs to release and express. What starts happening is this. Once she starts to heal, she starts to realize it. But the partner doesn't want to let that go, because energetically, it's all he knows.

“The only way he knows to be in relationship is like this.”

And that's where she gets to decide what is she going to do. She's going to continue, she's going to get to the threshold and bounce back or cross the threshold. And the beautiful thing is that when one person decides to take charge and go on their healing journey, then the other person gets to do it as well. It doesn't mean that they're going to, but they get to.

And something magical happens. I think this is the most beautiful part of this work is that the more your energy heals. You don't have to do a single thing, you don't have to lift the finger. The energy of your children and your parents start to heal as well. It's magical.

What are most men coming to you for? What do you see as the most common issue that men are dealing with? Number one, they don't, they avoid it. Because my work is deeply heart-based and deeply energetic. And that's what we as men were shown that we should avoid at all costs.

We were shown that it makes us not strong.

That's exactly it. That's exactly it. And my message to them is also, you have no idea how powerful you can be when you're not just living from up here in your mind, but you're living in your complete self. And so what most men finally come to me for is that.

Is like they're successful? They make the money, but they are stuck in pornography. They drink. They are having sexual issues and they're very disconnected from their wife and they want that to all stop.

“And when you work with them, do they, do you start to see maybe, do they lose their edge in terms of material success in business?”

And is that, and they're okay with that?

Yeah, I want to, I want to be honest, the answer is yes.

And the reason for this, yes or no. When you've been going from here, take me. All I knew was success, go, go, go, go. I needed to have the right bag, the right watch, the right cloak, the right everything had to look out on the outside. All of that was coming from the part of me that wasn't seen as a little boy.

So there is a recalibration because when you start dropping into your heart, what is the feminine, the feminine allows. So even in men, I dealt with this for like a year where I was like, I just want to chill out and go in the forest and sink humbaya. That's all I want to do, you know? And then once you go into the heart, then you start to recalibrate and then you find your balance, your purpose and your power. A little bit of that happened to me in Austin.

I know exactly what you're talking about. You want to go in the forest and sing like, at one point of Michael, it said, let's just move away into like the forest. I would have been like, let's go. Well, I know, I told you, I get what you mean.

You almost have to go like the opposite direction to recalibrate because I was like achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve.

And I don't see, I want to achieve still, but it's different now. From a different vibration. Yeah, right. We talked before we started. You've been in Austin around the same period like last five years like us.

And we came from a big city. We all came from LA New York. And you know, but I tell people is it would be very easy and possible for us to stay in those cities and go, go, go, go.

“And a lot of people think that's what you should do.”

But what expense? But at what expense? And I think it was taking us out of alignment of what actually made us happy and who we want to be. And it's nice. And I love this.

It's nice to go visit. It's nice to go enjoy. It's nice to do the restaurants and all the things. But I think at a certain period you start to, you start to stack up the quote unquote wins. Yep.

And you get a real diminishing return. That's right. And then what happens is say one year you do really well. And the next year you don't do quite as well, but still on paper. Like if anyone from the outside looks like that was still a phenomenal year.

But to you, it feels like a loss if you don't continue to move the ball forward. And I think that's a dangerous spot. And it's a dangerous spot because what that's actually saying is you correlate your worth and your value with performance. And you learn that somewhere. Somewhere as a little boy or girl, you learn that somewhere.

Yeah. And what I want to offer to people is you get to a place. In this journey, depending on how deep you go, this is my guarantee, especially for all of you that are performance minded. You will make twice the money and half of the effort. Because if you think about it, if you've been only operating from this from go, go, go, go, go.

And you're already doing as well as you're doing. What would happen if you're not only going, but you are allowing life, the universe and God to also bless you and you are open to receiving.

“That is literally the feminine think of sex, right?”

The very thing that creates life. It's the masculine and the feminine. And it's the is the providing and the receiving. So that's so interesting. Yeah, well, if that and that's all.

Like the penis is the. Yeah, the good to representation there. Well, that is what you two. Well, that no, well, that is it. And then I want to tell you something that's happening here in America,

the most people are not aware of and I actually, I want to speak to the women on this. At our event, we, we, we curate experiences to just bring massive emotional release. Well, one of the things that we do is we have. I can't say it too much because it deals with sexual trauma. And it just like like the floodgates just burst white open.

And the men offer that for the women. But then the women, we have them speak words of love and admiration and gratefulness to the men. Oh, men love that.

And it's what men have never gotten sometimes from their mom.

Listen, because the ear is the feminine. The ear receives in the salmon. And so their feminine gets healing from the feminine. But here's the craziest thing. Most women are literally like.

They can't do it. We can't speak it. No, because the thing that we have to realize is that what you see and feel and think about men.

So if you hate or judge or criticize, man. You inside of you energetically criticize and judge your own masculine energy as within. So without.

Well, I imagine too, even for, for men if they never receive that kind of love.

It's also hard for them to speak it. Yeah. What if someone was criticized by their parents all the time? Yeah, that's a deep wound. That's a deep, you know, just picture a little boy or a little girl with their heart wide open.

You do this thing called life.

“And they're just like, wow, life is beautiful.”

And all of a sudden they get criticized. And they watch what, and then they get criticized. And then they get, and then they. And that is when your light literally dims and it gets taken from you. And this is the work that I that I that I love doing the most because we don't realize this.

But all of us as little boys or little girls at some point in time our light was dimmed. And what about from teachers and people? So even well, it starts with your parents. And then it goes into teachers and then it goes into the government and then it goes into society.

What about in a relationship with criticism?

You can only be in a relationship with somebody that criticized you. If you unconsciously believe that love equals criticized criticism. So in other words, what it actually is. Just remember this, guys, there's no accident. Nothing is happening to you.

It's a mirror. It's like you don't know me, but could you picture me in a relationship with a crack addict? Yes or no? No, why not? Because you're your highest self.

That will at least you feel that way, right?

“But are there people that are in relationships with drug addicts?”

Yes. Yeah, it's because that's a vibrational match. Yeah. So same thing with abuse. At some point in time, you learn, for example,

that abuse equals love. Yeah. This is why tell parents don't hit your kids because it just sends the wrong answer. So when you have the Duke, I imagine in your work, you've probably had all sorts of men and women reach out to you and say,

how dare you say, I'm in an abusive relationship because of me. What do you say to those people? Yeah. You know what? No.

By the time they come, it's like they're kind of ready for the ready. So for people listening and they're hearing that, and maybe that is the reaction. What would you say to those people? I would say that's okay.

Honor that. Yeah. There's no, you know, everyone part of love and allowances. Everyone gets to be where they are when they're at. However, I will tell you if they step away from the show and go be quiet

and go connect with nature, it's going to start bringing some things up for them. And that's where we're here at the book is here to help, basically. How are you giving tangible tips to heal? Like what are the tips that you're giving? I don't.

And this is why. This is really important. This is one of the reasons why, you know, everything with the, I just want to name names because I just don't believe in that. But everything that's coming up with the Epstein list and like spiritual gurus and all that stuff.

And people get mad at that.

It's because if I'm giving you tips, then the answer is in me.

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“I think people are waking up to realize that there is no guru.”

There is no guru. No person to put on a pedestal.

And I think when you realize that and you realize

like what you said, the power is in you, I, this is so weird that you brought this conversation. I was talking to Michael about this the other day about certain gurus. And I was like, I feel like this energetic shift in the world where they're waking up and realizing that no one belongs on a pedestal.

Because if they put people on a pedestal, it is a sign. Remember fear, love separation. One is, it is a sign that in themselves, they are living in the consciousness of separation.

“That's the only way you can put someone on a pedestal.”

When you realize that you are one with everyone and everything. By the way, if you want to go there, this is what religion does. Religion does that with God. It puts God up there and out there. And if you don't do what God says,

then you're going to get in trouble and you're going to go into a bad place.

That is fear. Isn't there a, there's a book that's like from the 1900s that's called the three magic words? Is I don't know. And it's, it's the three magic words or I am God.

So it's not putting God on a pedestal. It's realizing that it's in you. You, right? The girl is like waking up to that. Well, this energy, what's going on?

Yeah, it's, it's, well, and it's waking up to this energy while AI is here. So if you think about this, the creation of AI. I'm not making it wrong. I'm just, it is what it is.

But the creation of AI was the collective energy within us that probably wouldn't rest and needs more. We created it. We manifested it. Well, if you look around anywhere in your cities,

you're seeing cars that drive themselves. You're seeing all sorts of things that are being automated. You're seeing robots. And we are being bamboozled to think that all of this is okay. We're literally, they are in the process of replacing us.

“That's why the collective consciousness of humanity is awakening.”

And that's why I don't give anyone tips because a tip is up here. So yeah. So if someone comes to you and wants to heal, how do you explain the process without giving tips? I don't.

I just asked him to lay down, close your eyes, and breathe. Huh. That's what we do in the book. Very interesting. Yeah, because I want every event I do.

Okay, let's just get this out of the way. You are not here for me. If you're here for me, you're back in church. If you're back in believing, you are here to know. You are here to discover the truth for yourself.

You are here to guide yourself into the process of healing. All I do is like help you on that journey based off of the journey that I've been on. Because most of the gurus out there are actually wounded boys and girls

that never received attention or validation from their mother and father.

I guess why they want to be a guru. That's exactly why they want to be a guru. That's right, once you are healed, you don't need to be a guru. You don't need to be seen. You don't need any of that.

It's actually when someone is like that. It is showing you that they are actually the opposite of someone that is spiritually aligned. Because if you think about it, think about a monk. A monk doesn't need anything. A monk, like a real monk, by the way.

A real monk is just hanging out in the mountains just one with nature. Yeah. What is happening with the phone to our relationships? It's ruined in them. Yeah.

The phone, especially for men is what is causing the destruction of families. Let's talk about that. Yeah, because the phone keeps the man in his mind and it keeps him distracted. A man no matter how good or honest or antagonist of a man that he is. You cannot go on Instagram right now and not see the wounded feminine on display.

And I say wounded were co-creating this, right? Because the wounded feminine needs to show herself. Because she has not realized yet that her value is not in what she looks like. The outside, her value is on the inside. And so what these phones are doing is disconnecting ourselves from ourselves.

Which disconnects ourselves from our families. Which disconnects ourselves from our children. And it's just bad. Do you have a code word that you use? What do you do in your own family when you feel like someone's disconnecting from the phone? You know, I think the beautiful thing is that like Jen does this work also.

“And so I think that the best way that I can describe it is it used to be an issue for me.”

I was constantly on my phone. And the more and more that I went into myself, the more and more that I saw that what I was actually looking for was a distraction from my family. Why? Because family made me uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable because my mom didn't give me love.

And my dad didn't give me his leadership and guidance. And it's all I knew. So the phone actually became my medicine.

And like tell myself no more, I actually saw it as like the medicine that was here to show me that what my heart actually wants is to be with my family. And that's something that we work on together. And yeah, we just work on together. What do you think of two things here? Porn and excessive online dating.

Yeah, yeah, I want to talk about this. Porn in and of itself is the vibration of shame. The act of watching porn is the energetic resemblance to the shame that lives inside of you. I used to be addicted to porn. I would tell myself like any addiction to stop. So not look at it, to not go back.

And no matter what I did, it kept coming back. And I'm going to tell you why. What is actually happening with Porn is it's a mirror for the parts of ourselves that are not free in our sexuality. And where we learned that sexuality and our sexuality was bad. And typically that happens unknowingly from our parents.

And from religion where we are not able to just share what we're feeling and what's happening and we don't get that guidance. Instead, what everybody tries to do is bottle it up and so you start to correlate sex with shame.

“So what happens is when you're addicted to porn, right?”

It's just an energetic vibration and a mirror for the shame that still lives inside of you.

When you start the healing journey and when you start to open your heart important, open your feminine, then you could never look at it.

You just literally can't do it. You can't look at the feminine like that. Because you realize whether we want to admit this or not, there's some darkness going on in there. You're no longer a vibrational match for that darkness. There's been enough time where I can share this story. I don't think I was a porn addict, but just like every guy, if you people watch porn, right? Yeah, yeah.

And we had a lot of roads on this show who was a former adult, she's a former adult star. She was a big adult star. Very nice. And we had a great interview, you guys can go back and watch it or listen to it. And she shared so much trauma and personal shame around her time there, that in that moment ever since I have not been able to watch porn.

That's exactly what happened.

“And what I realized after that is our sex life got better, personally, I think I got more stamina, not to share too much of it.”

I think testosterone rises, but what I realized is now living in a world where there was porn and now no porn, I feel much healthier, happier than that.

But it was that moment and again, maybe because I had the conversation with someone who had to live it and basically did it from a place of shame and maybe desperation at times and through validation.

And I cannot unsee now what I've seen and any time I think about it, I imagine other women or men that are put into similar, and listen, we've had other adult stars that come and had better experiences, but for me, like that was the end. Well, and you have a daughter. That's another thing, that was it. So it's everything is energy, everything is literally energy and so what I want to say to someone out there who's stuck in porn. I actually want to use this example because all addiction comes from the same thing.

There's a healing that has to happen in the heart. So I had a client who was addicted to alcohol. And this is how I want to show you for the entrepreneurs, how like you heal your whole life changes. Guy was making 70 grand a year working at a job. He was addicted to alcohol.

He was disconnected from his daughter. His daughter was in therapy. Life was a mess. I know for a fact, there's something massively wrong with mom and that I take them through the process. He cries.

I mean, this is four years later, right?

The guy's not making three quarters of a million dollars a year, which from 70 grand is pretty good.

No more therapy for the daughter. Him and his daughter are doing much better, but there was one last thing which was the alcohol. And he's like, you know, when they calls me and like, you know, he's texting me. He's like, I did it again. And I go, what'd you do? He says, I drank and I was doing so good.

And I go, okay, what happened? I had like five drinks and then I had another five and I'm fucked up and I'm drunk. And I just like, I'm tired of this man. And I go, so what's so bad about that? And like that, he, it like, wait, what?

I took the charge away.

“Remember, it's all of vibrational match for the guilt and shame that lives within us.”

If you take the guilt and shame away from it, yeah. If you start to realize, okay, if I'm doing this, it's because something's going on inside of me.

I don't want to do it.

“So let me start working on healing myself.”

But I also get to understand and love the parts of myself that are naturally going to do this thing that I don't want to do anymore. And instead of beating him up and making him bad, I'm going to be okay with it.

Because I know that ultimately the desires of my heart are to do what's right and to get better.

Online dating, excessive, not. I think the health element would be excessive on people swiping swiping swiping. Is that an addiction or is that a... Online dating is a result of unhealed feminine energy. Because true feminine energy and embodiment, whether you're a man or a woman, is trust.

And I'm not meaning like you meet someone you go and you get an update and then you have a great relationship.

I'm talking about like constant swiping.

That's right. So the more that you're swiping, the more that you are looking, the more that you unconsciously believe that the answer and the one is out there.

“The more that you heal and start to realize that the one you've been looking for your whole life is in here.”

You no longer swipe and you no longer date. And that's when you allow God, the universe and life to take you from a place where you're constantly searching for the one to just become the one. And when you become the one, you become a magnet and a vibrational match for that which you are seeking.

And I imagine the answer is pretty much the same for people that are just excessively going from one partner to another.

Having sex with different people every single week and constantly cheating and yeah. Absolutely. There's an addiction there and there's a fear. You are addicted to the rush.

“You are addicted to the chase and you're addicted to not being able to find love.”

And you're addicted to not being able to find love because you couldn't find it with your mom and dad. Mike drop. What if people want to work with you? Just go get the book. Okay.

Yeah. Awakened your highest self. Danny. Thank you for coming on. Yeah.

And they can get it at a waken book.com. Waken book.com. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you for coming on the show. We have a lot of good news.

What's your Instagram? Danny Morrell. Thank you. - Thank you. - Yeah, thank you.